


On the Rough

by Fastpacing



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gang AU, Heist, Humor, M/M, clearly i can't tag, daily lives kind og thing, focuses more on their relationship as a group than on romantic relationships, hopefully, i think, idk if it classifies as gang, inspired by and loosely based on boom boom mv, the violence thing is for the future, very loosely
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2018-11-23 01:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 35
Words: 248,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11392422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fastpacing/pseuds/Fastpacing
Summary: “You set off the alarm!?” Seungcheol’s voice blasted through their earbuds, making the short hacker turn his head towards the center monitor. There they were, standing and, apparently, arguing.“It wasn’t my fault!” Mingyu complained with a slight whine to his tone.“You’re the one who stepped on the fake tile, it was literally your fault!”





	1. Check your bio-rhythm

**Author's Note:**

> Just a glimpse into an universe I'm kind of working on and if you like it I'll try to post more.
> 
> Also this is my first work in ages so I apologize for... everything.

“Monitors are set.” Jihoon heard Wonwoo through his in-ear, now watching the screens light up. Five of them, to be exact. Two on top of each other on his far right and three side by side on the desk, covering every area of the building that actually had a camera. That part had been easy, the hotel itself had its own security cameras, all they had to do was hack into them. Thankfully, Wonwoo had taken charge of that.

 

The rest of the plan however was slightly more complicated. Not hard, just with a lot of moving parts. Which usually corresponded to a lot of things that could go wrong, and something always went wrong. Not that it ever stopped them, not at all. They were practically always successful. Jihoon could count on one hand the few times where they truly had to abort a mission, and those had always resulted from factors that they could have never even predicted.

 

But not this time. This time, they had it all figured out. Get into the hotel, get the drive, blow up the hallway and get out. The hotel was just a front, after all. The man who owned the establishment was covered in dirt, from every form of corruption imaginable. The lead came from his own granddaughter, who wanted to take him down. Not a family man, apparently. Coups mainly told them what they needed to know, saying that the woman had a plan to reclaim the business and rise above the prejudice her grandfather had against her, or something like that. Honestly, Jihoon didn’t care. As long as they paid well and didn’t intend to take over the world, he was up for the job.

 

So that’s how the plan started. After a week working undercover, Vernon was able to find out where they kept all the information of their finances and transactions, everything that wasn’t on the official records. After all, the man needed to keep receipts in case his supporters backed out, and it was all in one place. One drive disconnected from any network, inside a locked room with some sort of security. They couldn’t find out what kind, but Soonyoung assumed it was lasers. According to him, it was always lasers.

 

Junhui had memorized and taught the guards’ routines to everyone who would need it. The plan was to sneak in Seungcheol and Mingyu so they could take out the guards in front of the drive room and set up the explosives. Vernon was to evacuate the first and second floor. Meanwhile, Soonyoung and Minghao would get into the room and steal the drive. After that, Mingyu and Seungcheol would meet up with Wonwoo to get into the getaway car, which hopefully by that time Jun and Hansol would’ve already gotten to.

 

Like mentioned, it wasn’t a particularly dangerous plan, just complex. But Seokmin had assured them it was a good plan. Sure, he was the one who came up with most of it, but Jihoon had faith in him. Some, at least. And so far, it was all going according to plan.

 

“Alright, Jun, what’s your status?” Jihoon asked, now spotting his uniformed friend heading for the elevator.

 

“Got the package, on my way up.” Their Chinese friend mumbled, pushing the cart into the elevator.

 

“Can we not be referred to as ‘package”?” Mingyu asked now, his voice echoing in the radio. Jihoon rolled his eyes, stopping when he spotted Seokmin by his side, waiting with a plate and a mug.

 

“You should eat something.” The taller man whispered, giving him one of his signature bright smiles before leaving a bagel and a cup of coffee on his desk. Jihoon simply nodded and gave him a small smile as a thank you, letting Seokmin leave the room as he focused back on the mission. The younger never really enjoyed watching, said it got him too nervous.

 

“If you’re in a box and you’re being delivered, you’re a package.” Minghao pointed out now, and honestly Jihoon couldn’t argue with that. That was the best way they found of getting them inside with the small explosives without complications. Get a large wooden crate and have Jun push it in as a member of the staff. Unfortunately they forgot to count in Mingyu’s whining.

 

“We’re being snuck in, not delivered. It’s different– Ow!” Mingyu exclaimed when Junhui hit the cart against a wall.

 

“Oops, my bad.” The man in the uniform spoke as he now straightened his cart, not sounding one bit apologetic. “We’re here. I’m heading down now.” The hacker could only see him leaving the hallway before Seungcheol and Mingyu got out of the wooden box.

 

It didn’t take them long before they stealthily took out both thugs that guarded the room. “Hoshi, The8, you’re good to go.” Jihoon announced as he kept his eyes on the screens, drinking the coffee in between. “Vernon, are you heading to the garage?” He asked, watching the younger boy walking down one of the hallways.

 

“Yeah, on my way,” He quickly replied. “Just gotta grab a couple of things.”

 

“You don’t need that coat.” Jihoon promptly pointed out in a slightly annoyed tone, spotting his friend now stealing a long black coat from a rack in the hallway. “Just put it back and go to the garage already.”

 

“It’s disguise.” Vernon argued, though they were far beyond the point of the need for disguises now. “Plus, it’s not like they can’t afford a new one.”

 

“ _You_ can afford a new one,” Jihoon grumbled before sighing. “Just get to the car.”

 

“Hoshi was right,” The8 suddenly announced, and Jihoon turned his head to the far left monitor. They were in the room. “It’s lasers.” He added, now setting up a small camera by the corner of the room so Jihoon could get the visuals. The video popped up now side by side with the one on that same monitor. It wasn’t the best angle, but it was better than nothing.

 

“Coups, status?” Jihoon would never admit it, but it was a bit hard keeping track when so many of them were in one mission. At least Jeonghan and Chan were monitoring the building outside, so he didn’t need to keep an eye on them.

 

Perhaps he was a bit jealous of Seungkwan, quietly sleeping in the couch. Though when he remembered the boy had just returned from a 30 hour shift at the hospital, that jealousy quickly went away. Joshua was there with them too, in case he’d need to patch anyone up when they came back. That was something all of them hoped wouldn’t be necessary.

 

“Can we get a recording of The8 saying I’m right?” Soonyoung asked instead, now stretching in front of the lasers. “I’d like to make it my new ringtone.”

 

As bad as the video quality was, the hacker could see the older thief grinning as he began stretching and dodging the lasers to make his way through. Honestly, how he could be such a good thief yet a complete idiot was still far beyond Jihoon’s comprehension.

 

“All set up in here. Wonwoo, where are you?” The leader finally answered, ignoring the two thieves bickering in the background. Apparently The8 had brought his drone to retrieve the drive, which made Soonyoung’s acrobatics, well… Useless.

 

“Elevator, going down.” Wonwoo’s low voice brought some rest to Jihoon’s ears, who now took another bite of his food. In the midst of it all he had completely forgotten about it.

 

“Get off on our floor and we’ll head out together.” Seungcheol announced, heading over to the elevator to wait for the second hacker.

 

“Shit!” At Minghao’s curse, Jihoon turned his head to the far left screen once more.

 

“What’s going on?” Seungcheol asked before anyone else could.

 

“Uuuh, nothing,” The8 spoke quickly. “Just the drone is failing and It’s gonna fall on the lasers.”

 

“What!?” Jihoon exclamed.

 

Dread suddenly settled in the hacker’s stomach, barely allowing him to swallow his food. This was it. Something always went wrong, and this was it. The drone would fall on the lasers, the room would lock itself, the two would be stuck inside and they’d all have about five seconds to figure out how to get the fuck out. Awesome. This was why he wasn’t cut out for this. Sure, he was the best hacker out of them. One of the best in Korea, if you asked any of the others. But the stress made him feel years older than he actually was. He knew he should’ve just been a programmer.

 

“Hoshi!” The leader almost shouted, snapping Jihoon out of his trail down the memory lane of regrets.

 

“On it!” Like a snake, Soonyoung slipped through the gaps between the lasers, reaching out as the drone was about to fall.

 

Jihoon’s heart raced as he watched the scene, in his mind almost going in slow motion. It wouldn’t work. Nope, no way. Hoshi would fall through the lasers and that was it. It was never going to work.

 

But it did.

 

Jihoon blinked once, twice, eyes set on the image of Soonyoung holding the drone just above a laser, and suddenly he felt as he could finally breathe. Exhaling slowly, he looked back at the other three still in the hallway. “He got it.”

 

He could visibly notice the three relaxing, and he was sure the feeling reached everyone else. The hacker even felt like he could eat again, getting his bagel up once more. Everything was fine. The two thieves were out of the room and the other three members were walking down the hallway towards the stairs. Now all Jihoon needed to do was check on Jun and Hansol–

 

“Someone sounded the alarm!” Chan was the first to announce, hearing the sound from outside the building. At what seemed like that same instant, the screeching noise reached their in-ears, causing Jihoon to flinch and almost drop his food. Instead he hastily set it down on the plate, quickly scanning through every monitor before him.

 

“That’s impossible!” The hacker argued, eyes flickering from one screen to the other. “All the guards were scratching their asses a second ago! There’s no way they would’ve noticed anything.” He continued, clicking through ever gateway to see if he could at least find out where it came from.

 

It couldn’t have been the thieves. Even if Soonyoung had in fact touched the laser, the alarm would’ve sounded much sooner. The computer said the source was coming from the A1 hallway, which only made Jihoon even more confused. Seungcheol and the other two were there, they would’ve noticed something–

 

“You set off the alarm!?” Seungcheol’s voice blasted through their earbuds, making the short hacker turn his head towards the center monitor. There they were, standing and, apparently, arguing.

 

“It wasn’t my fault!” Mingyu complained with a slight whine to his tone.

 

“You’re the one who stepped on the fake tile, it was _literally_ your fault!” Wonwoo pointed out, seemingly siding with Seungcheol on this one. Though honestly, Jihoon was sure everyone would side with him on this one. They had gone over this repeatedly, Wonwoo himself had figured out which tiles were false and printed out the guide for them to study. Jihoon groaned, bringing his hand over his face for a moment to keep himself from questioning his life choices again.

 

“It was an accident! My foot slipped!” Mingyu argued back, this time whinier than before. Jihoon figured he already felt guilty, but knowing Mingyu, he wouldn’t simply admit it. And knowing the other two, they wouldn’t let it go even if he did.

 

“Do you _have_ to break everything you touch, or is it just a natural talent?” Seungcheol half complained and half mocked him, the alarm still sounding in the background.

 

“As much as I would love to join the Diss Mingyu club right now, you guys should get out.” Minghao spoke through, Jihoon checking to see that him and Soonyoung were already out and heading for the meeting point.

 

“He’s right, get the fuck out, there’s guards coming from the north aisle.” Jihoon informed them this time, a group of guards breaking off and rushing to where the three stood. “I can’t set off the explosives if you don’t move.” Thankfully, Seungcheol was still a man of reason, and the three didn’t wait another second before running down the corridor.

 

“They blocked the side entrance!” Chan warned them, Jihoon spotting him on the third monitor to the right, on the outskirts of the building. “You gotta make your way through the underground. They haven’t reached the parking lots yet.” The youngest added.

 

Jihoon could see how quickly they took note of the boy’s information, the three swiftly turning left towards the stairs. “Dino baby, it’s time to go. Coups can handle things from now on.” Jeonghan’s soft voice sounded through the radio, followed by an annoyed groan.

 

“I thought we agreed on dropping the ‘baby’ thing.” Chan complained. “And Coups isn’t out yet! The deal was–“

 

“Dino, he’s right. We’re done here, time to go.” Seungcheol’s voice took that tone that let Chan know it was pointless to argue with. Surely the boy was annoyed, but now wasn’t the time. “Woozi, we’re out, light it up!”

 

Without missing a beat, Jihoon activated the explosives. They weren’t too dangerous. Not enough to compromise the structure of the building at least, but definitely enough to slow down the thugs in the hallway and burn whatever evidence they had left in that room. The downside was that now they had lost the camera feed on both the hallway and the drive room, but they wouldn’t need it anymore. 

 

“Coups, where are you?”Jihoon asked, eyes roaming over the two piled up screens that covered the parking lot.

 

“We’re out.” The leader replied in a breathy tone.

 

“No you’re not, I don’t see you in the parking lot.” The hacker argued, brows knitting together as he search every inch of what he could see.

 

“Uuh, we’re almost out.” Mingyu now added, also sounding out of breath. Wait–

 

“Are you still in the fucking hallway!?” Jihoon let out, this time efficiently knocking off the rest of his bagel. Great.

 

“You’re still in the hallway!?” Jisoo’s voice almost caused the hacker to jump in his seat, turning his head to see the resident now beside him watching the monitors. Again, great.

 

“We’re out now!” Wonwoo provided, which caused both Jihoon and Jisoo to look at the bottom monitor. There they were, running through the parking lot.

 

“You said you were clear before! You told me to blow it up!” Jihoon complained. Now that they were safely out at least he could kill them himself.

 

“We were practically out.” Mingyu reasoned.

 

“Oh yeah, that’s the exact same thing when everything around you is about to blow up.” The hacker pointed out dryly.

 

“That’s okay, it gave us a boost.” Seungcheol replied jokingly, though it only made his blood boil.

 

“A boost?! I’ll give you a fucking–“

 

“Can you three please just get in the damn car before Woozi goes insane?” Jeonghan’s bored tone cut them off, though if Jihoon wasn’t mad, he could probably spot a hint of concern there. “Dino’s with me.” He added before the leader could ask.

 

“Me and Vernon are waiting by the B exit.” The hacker turned his head to spot the car where Jun and Hansol were. At least that was according to plan.

 

“ _Vernon and I_.” Wonwoo corrected him.

 

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s just Vernon and me in the car.” Jun innocently replied, and Jihoon didn’t know if he should feel amused or embarrassed. Probably both.

 

“No, I meant–“ Wonwoo tried explaining, though by that point Seuncheol was already shoving him into the car, “Just get in the damn car.” The leader ordered, and Jihoon watched the car start after they were all inside.

 

“Hoshi? The8?” The eldest called. “On our way back with the drive.” Hoshi replied. Jihoon didn’t have visual on them anymore, but he could trust his word.

 

“Josh, I think I twisted my ankle.” Joshua nodded once after hearing Mingyu, pulling back from Jihoon’s side to head to the living room.

 

“I’ll get everything ready. Anyone else?” The medical resident asked, just to be sure.

 

“I could use a massage.” Hoshi suggested.

 

“Oh, me too. Actually, can I get one from Jun?” Jihoon took a deep breath after Mingyu’s question, pinching the bridge of his nose and yet again wondering what else he could be doing in life right now. Maybe he could still be a programmer. He was young enough, right?

 

“I don’t know if I have the energy,” Jun replied with that ever innocent tone of his. “But I’m sure Woozi would gladly do it in my place.” Well, so much for innocent, Jihoon thought to himself.

 

“Oh yes, gladly.” The hacker grinned.

 

“No!” The two shouted together, causing him to snicker. Leaning back in his chair, Jihoon figured that he was probably better off staying where he was. Programming was too boring for him, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know this is kind of a short/rushed scene but it was just an idea I had in mind and couldn't get it out-
> 
> This chapter is more to introduce the group and what they do, how they work together.  
> Future chapters will show more of their dynamic as a team and background stories, etc.  
> I got a lot of ideas for them and some scenes are already written down, I just don't know if I'll post them 'cause idk if anyone actually wants to read them lol
> 
> But yeah this fic is really just a bunch of random non chronological chapters from the same universe. If you liked it or have some constructive criticism, please let me know!
> 
> Also writing 13 people in a scene is really hard ok but i promise that if i continue the others will be featured more orz


	2. Say the Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It needed to be something good, something professional, Seungcheol thought to himself. Something that kept them on the down-low but also intimidated anyone who came across it. It should be–
> 
> “Seventeen!” Soonyoung suddenly shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the non chronological scenes thing starts, so please let me know if it's too confusing.  
> At first I had no dates on the scenes, but I figured it might be too confusing without them, so I put the most relevant dates in. I hope it's easy to follow. If not, again, please let me know ^^

_\- - / 04 / 2014_

 

It had been a couple of weeks now since Hansol had officially joined them. If Seungcheol wasn’t wrong, they had managed to talk him into it a bit over a month ago, but only two weeks ago did the American move in with them. And so far, it was all going smoothly.

 

Sure, he was a bit messy sometimes. Mingyu had nagged him about it repeatedly, but Hansol always seemed to take it with a stride, never getting angry and often just laughing it off before apologizing. It was as if he didn’t have a care in the world, and just like that the boy slipped easily into their lives.

 

Except for one thing. It wasn’t anything major, nor it bothered them in any way. It was just a bit… Odd.

 

A day after he moved in, Hansol began drawing a heart on his left cheek with what the leader assumed was red marker. Seungcheol figured he was redrawing it everyday, given the heart was always there. Yet he never gave them an explanation for it.

 

Not that he had to, of course not. What the boy did to his own body was his own business, as long as he wasn’t hurting himself. But it just didn’t make sense. He’d never seen that on him before. Seungcheol even questioned his own sanity, wondering if the heart had always been there and he just hadn’t noticed. Thankfully his younger brother quickly denied that, saying that he too had never seen it before.

 

The leader decided to take the matter to Jeonghan, who seemed to be the one most members went to when they had a secret. Not that he thought his friend would spill, but he figured he could at least shine a light on the matter.

 

“I don’t know Coups, what if it’s something personal?” The younger one asked as he continued to fold his dry laundry, placing them on top of the table by the washing machine. “He might get upset or something if we ask.” He added.

 

“Yeah, I know… But doesn’t it worry you?” Or drive you mad? Seungcheol almost asked instead. Not that the heart itself drove him mad, just the mystery. He had to know. “Like what if it’s to hide something? Or maybe it’s a promise he made?”

 

“Then he probably doesn’t want us to find out.” Jeonghan concluded, getting the plastic hamper from under the table to put all the folded clothes inside. “I mean, if it’s something that bothers him, he’ll probably tell us when he feels comfortable. If he ever does.” The long haired male explained, picking up the hamper and waiting for his friend to open the door to the hallway before he squeezed through.

 

“Just give him some time, he’s still fresh.” Jeonghan smiled softly before leaving Seungcheol to his own thoughts in the laundry room. The leader could do nothing but agree. It even guilted him a little to realize how selfish he had been. The other was right, Hansol would tell them when he felt like it. Leader or not, this was none of his business.

 

 

——

 

_\- - / 12 / 2013_

 

“They’re calling!” Seungcheol rushed into the kitchen with the phone in his hand. An untraceable one, thanks to Jihoon. A ringing one now too, thanks to, well, the caller. The leader already knew who it was, actually. A client, one that had requested to met only in very specific circumstances, and to keep most communication via calls.

 

Seungcheol had thought it was odd, but Wonwoo told them it was fairly common in the trade. People liked staying anonymous for safety reasons. They never had to deal with that before, but given they were starting to get more attention, the clients seemed to be getting more sophisticated too.

 

“Pick it up!” Jisoo quickly replied, as if it was obvious. Well, it was obvious. Seungcheol just had never expected the thing to actually ring. He had never expected them to get so… Far.

 

“H-Hello?” He stuttered slightly as he answered the call. God, he hated how clueless he sounded. Way to make a first impression.

 

Around him, Joshua, Jihoon, Jeonghan, Wonwoo and Soonyoung watched with intent. It was a bit reassuring to see they were as nervous as he was, at least.

 

“Yes,” He cleared his throat in a vain attempt to sound older. “Yes, this is he.”

 

The leader nodded lightly as the man on the other side simply went over what they’d agreed on before, leaning back against the kitchen counter behind him. “Yes, as soon as you meet those requirements and deposit the first half, we’ll start the job.” They had already briefed the client with an outline of the plan, keeping the details to themselves. Apparently it was enough for them though, as Seungcheol now grinned at the others and gave them a thumbs-up.

 

They all cheered quietly, Soonyoung dancing a bit in fronto of the fridge. It was exciting after all. Their first big job, with a paying client and a good motive. Scary, but exciting.

 

“O-Our name?” Seungcheol almost choked on air, looking around at his friends quickly. “Uuh, yes, of course we have a name.” The leader gave off an awkward chuckle before covering the speaker, “What the hell is our name?” He asked the rest, who seemed equally lost.

 

“We need a name!” Jisoo whispered, panicking slightly.

 

“Why would we even need a name!?” Jihoon grunted, chastising himself for not thinking of that before.

 

“Everyone needs a name!” Wonwoo pointed out.

 

“We don’t have time! Just say anything!” Jeonghan whisper-shouted, looking at their leader.

 

“Like what!?” The eldest asked, panic creeping under his skin as well while he kept the phone covered. It needed to be something good, something professional, Seungcheol thought to himself. Something that kept them on the down-low but also intimidated anyone who came across it. It should be–

 

“Seventeen!” Soonyoung suddenly shouted.

 

“Seventeen!” Seungcheol repeated a bit too loudly into the phone before looking back at his friend. Wait, Seventeen?

 

“Yah, Kwon Soonyoung, what the hell of a name is that?” Wonwoo asked, keeping his tone low.

 

“I don’t know! I just saw it on the calendar.” The thief explained, earning a groan from the rest.

 

“You got our name off a date?” Jihoon asked, sending a judging glare to his friend.

 

“It’s better than nothing!” Soonyoung complained, crossing his arms.

 

“Yes, the name is Seventeen.” Seungcheol nodded once again, reassuring himself more than the man on the phone. Not the best name, sure, but at least his heart could calm down now. “We’ll keep in touch through this number.” He then hung up, sighing in relief for a moment.

 

“We don’t even have seventeen people.” Jisoo then pointed out, though his tone was less judgmental and more confused.

 

“It’s not about the members! Maybe it could mean something else. Like our lucky numbers or something.” Soonyoung reasoned.

 

“It’s okay Soon, it could be worse. You could’ve said Tuesday.” Jeonghan patted his back lightly with a snicker, which led the younger to whine a bit.

 

In the meantime, Seungcheol felt the phone buzz in his hand. It was a text, notifying them that the first deposit had been made. They were good to go.

 

“Seventeen!” Seungcheol called with a smirk, easily getting the attention back on him. Well, perhaps that name would work out just fine. “We got a job to do.”

 

 

——

 

 

“Maybe it’s a statement.” Wonwoo suggested, putting down the blue eight that was in his hand.

 

Next to him in a crooked circle sat Mingyu and Seungcheol, all three on the floor with their own set of UNO cards in hand. The weather today was a bit too high for anyone’s liking, so they were all hiding away in Jihoon’s office, also known as the only room the working AC. God-forbid the hacker ever let his computer overheat. Jihoon himself was busy with work, though he didn’t mind the others around.

 

“Yeah, but what kind? If something is bothering him, shouldn’t he tell us?” Seungcheol questioned, putting down a blue five in his turn. They had now completed one month with the Vernon cheek heart mystery, as Mingyu had so eloquently put it, and they were no closer to figuring it out than they were the first week. Just like the cards they were playing, the mystery had practically become a game to them at this point.

 

“Could be just a phase.” Mingyu reasoned as he put down his green five.

 

“Who the hell has a ‘heart on your cheek’ phase?” Wonwoo pointed out with a frown and a bit of judgement. Seungcheol wasn’t sure if he was annoyed at Mingyu’s suggestion or the fact that he had to buy another card before playing.

 

“You had an eyeliner phase,” Replied Mingyu. “And not just cute idol eyeliner. Full on emo My Chemical Romance eyeliner.” He added, snorting a bit as his friend tried kicking his knee.

 

“I thought we agreed on not bringing that up again.” Wonwoo accused, watching as the game went on.

 

“We agree on a bunch of things. Like how you should’ve done the dishes yesterday but left me with–“

 

“ _Guys_.” Seungcheul interrupted them before they could go on, otherwise it would never end. “Focus. We got another issue at hand.”

 

“I thought it wasn’t an issue.” Mingyu’s brows raised as he bought another card, setting him back in the game.

 

“It’s not. You know what I mean.” Seungcheol gestured vaguely in the air. It wasn’t an issue, really. But he was growing worried the kid was hiding something important from them. And perhaps he was a little bit curious. But that wasn’t the main reason, not at all. As a leader, he had to worry about these things.

 

“It could be a symbol for something.” Wonwoo thought out loud, playing a +4 card and making Seungcheol groan as he was the victim. “Like something to show he’s part of the group. Maybe he just likes us a lot, so… A heart.”

 

“…That’s ridiculous.” Mingyu quickly ruled out the other’s idea. “I mean, I could maybe see Jeonghan doing that, but Vernon? He cringes whenever Jun gets too clingy.”

 

“Maybe it’s a fashion thing? Are kids doing that these days?” The leader asked, causing the other two to chuckle.

 

“If you wanna stop being called old you gotta stop saying shit like that.” Mingyu only smirked when he received a glare from Seungcheol.

 

“What if he’s covering something? Like a scar?” Wonwoo asked, now reversing the order of the game. If it was only so he could screw Mingyu over, Seungcheol wouldn’t be surprised.

 

“Did he have a scar there?” The eldest asked, not being able to remember. He didn’t notice those things much, honestly.

 

“I don’t know.” Wonwoo shrugged.

 

“Then why’d you suggest it?” The youngest complained.

 

“What? It’s not like you have anything better.” He pointed out, and Seungcheol felt like they were setting themselves back even more.

 

“It could be an American thing.” Seungcheol suggested, scratching his head a bit with his cards, though making sure neither of the two could see them. After so many times playing with and losing to Jeonghan, he learned to protect himself from cheaters.

 

“Shua-hyung doesn’t do it though.” Mingyu reasoned.

 

“Yeah, and Hansol’s been in Korea for years. He’s probably not into their trends as much.” Wonwoo added.

 

“He could just be covering a huge ass zit that never goes away.” Mingyu shrugged while Seungcheol groaned, shaking his head.

 

“Yah, that’s just ridiculous. If we’re not being serious there’s no point discussing this.” The leader stated.

 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be discussing it.”

 

The three on the floor turned their heads to the one on the chair now, blinking at the unexpected statement.

 

“Jeonghan-hyung has a point, you know? It could be something personal.” Jihoon pointed out with his blunt tone and blank face, picking up his empty water bottle before getting up from the chair. “And you guys are here sitting and making a game out of it. How do you think he’d feel if he knew you were talking about it behind his back?”

 

With that, the small hacker left the room, leaving the other three to their own guilty feelings. He was right, and Seungcheol knew that. But having it repeated to him like that did make him feel like a bit of a shitty friend, not to mention a horrible leader. Apparently the feeling was shared between the three, as they all went back to their card game in silence. Or at least until they piled up three +4 against Mingyu.

 

 

——

 

_\- - / - - / 2015_

 

Wonwoo enjoyed days like this. For most, the rain was nothing more than a hazard, but for him it was an excuse. A reason to stay home and work on his own things, without the bright sun and clear skies pressuring him to ‘go outside and seize the day’. Seokmin once said that sounded depressing, but what would the embodiment of the sun know about enjoying the rain?

 

Today he decided to enjoy his perfect weather by sitting on one end of the couch with one of his new books. They had just recently finished a mission, so thankfully there was no work to be done. Next to him lied Soonyoung, with his feet against Wonwoo’s thighs and his head on the couch’s armrest, playing away on his phone.

 

On the floor sat Seokmin and Seungkwan, both hunched over the coffee table with what Wonwoo assumed were at least five open books. Exam week was coming soon, apparently. That’s why he had chosen the living room. The moments were rare when the living room was as quiet as it was now, especially when the other three were together. It seemed like a waste not to enjoy it.

 

Suddenly, Soonyoung gasped loudly, breaking that precious silence and causing the other three to turn their heads towards him in surprise. “Guys!” The small eyed boy sat up quickly, looking at the rest. “I had a great idea!”

 

“Save it,” Seungkwan quickly ordered, as if he was the boss of the group. Honestly, sometimes Wonwoo wondered if he wasn’t. “We got at least three chapters left to cover today and I wanna finish them before my shift.”

 

“He’s right.” Seokmin pouted slightly, still looking at Soonyoung. “Exam week is coming and–“

 

“Matching sweatshirts!” Soonyoung interrupted his younger friend, and once again they were all looking at him.

 

“…What?” Seungkwan asked now, visibly confused. Wonwoo wasn’t doing much better either, though he rarely tried to keep up with his same aged friend nowadays.

 

“We should get matching sweatshirts!” Soonyoung clarified, though just barely.

 

Wonwoo snickered to himself, waiting for the others’ reactions. Contrary to Hoshi’s first statement, that was a terrible idea. Perhaps the worst one he ever had, or at least in the top five. Having matching sweatshirts would be like announcing themselves to the world. And given that what they did was secret, not to mention illegal, walking around like thirteen corny twins was notexactly wise.

 

“…That’d actually be pretty cool.” Wonwoo blinked at Seokmin’s reply, for a moment assessing the possibility that the boy had developed a sense of sarcasm overnight. Surely he couldn’t be serious.

 

“Wait, wait,” Seungkwan raised his hand to stop them from continuing, Wonwoo thankful at least one of the three was sane. “Are we talking about matching designs, or the colors too? ‘Cause I mean, I know it’s hard to believe, but not every color agrees with me.”

 

Oh God, they were doomed. He expected this from Soonyoung, but the other two? How had they even gotten into med school? He was surrounded by idiots. Wonwoo took a deep breath, trying to remain sane. He knew he should tell them the one simple yet major flaw to their plan. After all, the three were known to easily get way too excited about things. But given they had just ruined his quiet day, Wonwoo figured he could at least watch this unfold as a form of entertainment.

 

“I don’t know, a color each would be cool…” Hoshi admitted, rubbing his chin slightly in thought.

 

“No, no, it’s too expensive,” Seokmin pointed out. “We should just get a color that looks great on everybody.” He explained, to which the other two nodded lightly.

 

“What about green?” Soonyoung asked, soon sliding off the couch to join them by the coffee table. He stole a pencil and a blank page from the taller one, starting to sketch what Wonwoo could only assume was the design of the sweatshirts.

 

“I already see too much green at the hospital,” Seungkwan complained, leaning over the drawing a bit. “Maybe teal, then?”

 

“Isn’t that the same thing?” Seokmin chuckled lightly, Seungkwan quick to lean over and hit him on the shoulder.

 

“Of course not!” The youngest complained. “Green is like green. Teal is more blue, I don’t know.”

 

“Teal is cool, but we can decide on the color later.” Soonyoung looked up with a serious expression. “The design is more important.” The other two nodded along with their elder, and Wonwoo had to bite his lip not to laugh at their commitment to the whole thing. Maybe this was better than his book. Maybe.

 

“We could have Seventeen on the back!” Seokmin grinned, sitting up a bit straighter.

 

“The name or the number?” Seungkwan questioned.

 

“The number. You know, like one of those jock uniforms,” The former explained, followed by approvals from the other two.

 

“Yeah, and in the front we can have SVT, like a code or something.” Soonyoung suggested with a bright smile, his eyes practically turning into lines. The three stooges then made some sort of clumsy three way high five and cheered, Wonwoo by that point losing all hope in mankind.

 

“Oh yeah, that looks so cool!” The youngest grinned, looking at Hoshi’s drawing. Honestly, Wonwoo was afraid to look.

 

At that moment the front door opened, Minghao and Mingyu taking off their shoes at the entrance as they carried the groceries inside. They didn’t stop bickering while they did so, but none of them even bother asking anymore. They’d start worrying when those two _weren’t_ going at each other’s necks.

 

“Ah, Mingyu!” Soonyoung interrupted their little banter, scrambling up to his feet and looking at the two. “You can sow, right?”

 

The tall male tilted his head, stopping in his path from the living room to the kitchen. “Yeah… Why? Ripped something?” That was usually why they needed those skills. Seeing Mingyu was occupied with Hoshi now, the other thief decided to head into the kitchen to at least put down the groceries.

 

“No no, we need you to make a sweatshirt.” The oldest explained before Minghao returned to the living room.

 

“We’re making matching sweatshirts!” Seokmin called from his spot, turning to look at his friends. “You know, so we can wear it as a group.” He grinned, blissfully unaware of Minghao’s growing scowl.

 

“Are you guys stupid or something?” The Chinese boy asked bluntly, surprising the three. “You wanna make it neon too? That way everyone will _definitely_ know we’re coming.” He pointed out.

 

“Oh… We hadn’t thought of that.” Soonyoung admitted in a much less excited tone, Minghao scoffing slightly in disbelief before going back to put away the groceries.

 

It was as if the three of them suddenly deflated, all their shoulders sinking down at the same time. Wonwoo snorted loudly then, trying to contain some of his laughter as the scene unfolded. Maybe he should feel a bit bad for them, but he knew they’d soon shake it off and come up with another form of distraction. So right now he just laughed, enjoying his own amusement.

 

“…What about rings?” Mingyu suggested after a moment of silence, still standing in the same spot, causing everyone to look at him again.

 

Huh, rings. Wonwoo raised a brow, and despite his skepticism, he had to admit that wasn’t such a bad idea.

 

 

——

 

 

One month soon turned into two. Two months with the heart on his cheek. Two months of S.Coups pretending he didn’t care about it while simultaneously growing more and more curious of the reason.

 

Until one afternoon, where Hansol and Chan sat studying on the kitchen table while Seungcheol did the dishes.

 

“Hey, hyung,” Chan called from across the table. “Why do you have a heart on your cheek?” He asked, unaware of the possible repercussions.

 

Seungcheol suddenly froze in place. On one hand, he wanted to reprimand his brother for asking, but on the other hand, damn he wanted to know. It was like his favorite drama was finally giving resolution for the longest cliffhanger in history. He slowly turned off the tap, still scrubbing one of the plates as he tried to listen to them better.

 

“Uh? Oh,” Vernon looked up from his book. “It’s for the initiation.”

 

S.Coups now fully stopped, looking back. “Initiation?” Chan asked with a tilt to his head, his confused expression perfectly representing Seungcheol’s.

 

“Well, yeah. The group initiation, you know?” Hansol replied, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I can’t stop wearing the heart until Seungcheol-hyung gives me the golden badge.” He now turned on his chair to look at the leader, who also turned to face them.

 

“What golden badge?” The eldest asked, brows furrowing together as he tried to remember if he forgot something. Was the kid playing a trick on him?

 

“Well, I don’t know, Jeonghan-hyung said the leader chose when to give it, but I couldn’t ask.” With that, everything clicked into place. Right on the trick, wrong on the kid. S.Coups snickered to himself before Chan burst into laughter, leaning back on his chair to the point he almost fell backwards.

 

A confused, “What?” left Vernon’s lips, though Seungcheol just shook his head. Honestly, he should’ve known. Years together and he still couldn’t see through Jeonghan’s little games.

 

“Dino, catch him up.” The eldest replied before setting the plate back in the sink, heading upstairs to their room. He could still hear his brother laughing while Hansol tried to get him to stop, but Seungcheol had other things to deal with. He had someone else to catch up to.

 

 

“A golden badge, really?” Seungcheol asked once he stepped into the bedroom, spotting his machiavellian friend lying back on the bed with a book. Jeonghan looked up then, a puzzled expression on his face for a moment before he too burst into a soft laughter.

 

“Oh God, finally! I was wondering if it’d take you all a year.” The long haired curled up a bit as he laughed, the leader sitting on the bed now and slapping his knee lightly as some sort of punishment.

 

“Yah, it’s not funny, do you know how worried I was?” Seungcheol complained, and even though the laughter stopped, Jeonghan kept a smug grin.

 

“Aah, you’re right, it’s really not. I wanted to be there for the big reveal!” The boy whined then. “I would’ve given anything to see the look on your faces! Aish, all that hard work gone to waste… Who was it?” Seongcheol snickered slightly before hitting him again. He didn’t know what he did to deserve a friend like him.

 

“Channie.” He replied, shifting to lie down on his back, next to the culprit.

 

“Ah, my own child. What a betrayal…” Jeonghan sighed dramatically before he was hit once again, this time on the shoulder.

 

“How did you even get Jihoon to join in?” Seungcheol raised a brow, surprised their friend would take part on a prank. Usually he didn’t bother.

 

“I bought him a hamburger and promised him your humiliation.” Jeonghan laughed once again as Seungcheol almost scoffed in disbelief.

 

“Traitors.” The eldest grumbled, resting his head on the same shoulder he had hit. “I hate you.”

 

“You love me.” Jeonghan replied with a playful grin, picking his book back up to return to his reading. He didn’t seem to mind his friend’s company though. If anything, he seemed to enjoy it.

 

“Whatever.” Seongcheol mumbled with a slight huff, though a smile played on his lips as he closed his eyes.

 

He really didn’t know what he did to deserve a friend like him.

 

 

——

 

_26 / 05 / 2015_

 

“Okay, they’re here.” Joshua announced as he walked through the front door with his same age friends, carrying a small black shopping bag with him.

 

Mingyu and Chan sat on the floor playing an old playstation 2, while Soonyoung watched them from the couch. Joshua couldn’t spot anyone else in the living room, but he was sure they were around. Everyone knew what the three had headed out to do after all, and surely they didn’t want to miss it.

 

“Let me see, let me see!” Soonyoung pushed through the leader, earning a scowl that he remained ignorant to. Jihoon then emerged from his bedroom, taking off his glasses to rub at his eyes. Probably working as usual, Joshua presumed.

 

“What’s all the fuss?” The shorter asked, Mingyu and Chan pausing their video game to look back at their elders.

 

“The rings are here!” Hoshi grinned brightly, taking the bag from Joshua only to have it quickly confiscated by Seungcheol.

 

“I’m the leader, I should distribute it.” He decided, and Joshua could only chuckle at Soonyoung’s pout.

 

“You weren’t this decisive when we were choosing the designs.” The medical intern pointed out with a grin, backed up by Jeonghan.

 

“Yeah, as I remember, you just said “let’s get this done already” Their mischievous friend pointed out, hiding behind Joshua with a laugh as the leader looked as if he was ready to skin them both alive.

 

“The rings are here?” Seokmin’s voice echoed through the living room, and they were quickly joined by the loud boy along with Seungkwan, Hansol and Minghao.

 

“How many times do we have to announce it?” Jihoon complained as the eldest three made their way to the couch.

 

“Announce what?” Wonwoo asked as he entered the apartment, followed by Jun.

 

“Don’t–“ Jihoon tried to stop Seokmin in vain.

 

“The rings are here!” The boy repeated with his ever bright smile, a strong contrast next to Jihoon’s annoyed frown.

 

“Where were you two anyway?” Chan asked, looking up from the spot on the floor where he sat.

 

“Wonwoo was filming me train.” Jun explained, taking off his shoes as well before rushing to slouch on the armchair, making sure no one stole it from him. Meanwhile, Seungcheol sat in the middle of the couch, Jisoo and Jeonghan by his sides.

 

“Ooh, kinky.” Hansol teased, followed by a “Gross!” From the youngest.

 

Wonwoo promptly slapped the American at the back of the head though, which he honestly deserved. “We’re gonna run it through a software to analyze his form, idiot.”

 

“Okay, enough!” Seungcheol’s voice silenced everyone else, reminding them who was the leader. Honestly, Jisoo knew that quite a few of them had the ability to lead, but Seungcheol was the only one capable of properly shutting everybody up.

 

Soon all the other members gathered around the couch, making their reasonably sized living room seem smaller than the bedrooms. Most of them stood behind the back of the couch, though Chan and Mingyu remained on the floor, and Jun just leaned over on his chair. S.coups then pulled the sleek black case out from the bag, and it was no bigger than a regular notebook.

 

“The design is pretty simple, okay? But it was affordable and we–“ Seungcheol grunted as he was quickly elbowed by the long haired boy who sat next to him, “Hannie and Shua thought it matched us the best. So no complaining, alright?”

 

Joshua knew he said that so neither of them would be upset with any rude comments, but he honestly doubted any of the guys would complain. Most of them seemed so excited they’d probably take a candy ring as the real thing. Even Jihoon looked curious, stealing glances at the box.

 

“And they’re still expensive, so don’t even think about losing it.” He looked at the tall male sitting on the ground. “I’m looking at you, Mingyu.”

 

“Excuse me,” Said boy raised his finger as if making a point. “I don’t lose things, I break things. It’s different.”

 

“Well, don’t break this either.” Seungcheol pointed out.

 

“Wait, you said expensive. How much money went into this?” Jihoon asked then, brows pulling together. “Could we have gotten food with it instead? Or at least finally some updated gear?”

 

“ _Anyway_ ,” The leader continued, promptly ignoring the other. “Here they are.”

 

As soon as he opened the box, there was a flurry of hands reaching out for them. If Joshua hadn’t picked them in the store, he would’ve no idea what the rings looked like. He figured he’d wait for everyone to get theirs, but soon Jeonghan was reaching out to him with closed palm.Joshua blinked, bringing his palms together so his friend could drop a ring into them. He felt a soft smile form on his lips as he looked up at his friend, mouthing a small “Thank you.”

 

Jeonghan only grinned in return before looking back at the others, and Jisoo now slipped the ring onto his pinky. Perfect fit. Maybe it was cheesy, but as cold as the silver was, it made him feel somewhat warm inside.

 

“Do we really have to wear it?” Jisoo snapped out of his thoughts as he looked up at their shortest friend, who eyed his own hand with a confused expression.

 

“Yes. And if you try to take it off I’m supergluing it.” Jeonghan quickly snapped back with a smirk, causing the former to frown at him. Joshua noticed though that he didn’t take off the ring. In fact, he kept running his fingertips over it. The intern smiled to himself. The moments were rare when they could see through Jihoon’s grumpy exterior, but they were precious. Not to mention amusing.

 

“Wait, are you crying?” Hansol suddenly asked, making everyone turn towards Seungkwan.

 

The boy quickly turned his back to the rest, shaking his head quickly though his sniffles easily sold him out. “N-No…” He tried denying it, but Hansol was already turning him back around with a bright laugh, exposing the other’s red cheeks.

 

They all soon began teasing and laughing at the male, all in good sport of course. Joshua however only sat in his spot and watched, a warm smile taking over him. Yes, they were incredibly cheesy, but he was certain now that the rings were a great choice. The second best they’ve ever made.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok first of all I know I already replied to the comments but I just wanted to thank everyone who commented again and left kudos as well! I'm glad you liked it and you helped build up my confidence for this chapter lol   
> This is still a lighter chapter to kind of show a bit of their establishment, but in case your wondering the next one I'm planning is a bit deeper and "feely".
> 
> Also, although I tried to roughly base the storyline with Seventeen's own dates (debut and so on), they are not the same and the other in which each member "joined" is completely different too. So please bear with me as I try to approach their timeline in the future. They are older than their actual ages too, but they still have the same age difference between them. (I kinda know how old they are but until i'm 100% settled on it I don't want to confirm it, I hope that's okay)


	3. I can be a place for you to rest for a bit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was a list of names that should never be brought up within the group. It was a short list, and though it wasn’t written down anywhere, all of them knew it. And everyone knew whose name was at first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look I've attempted angst and for that I apologize.
> 
> (this chapter was also heavily inspired by Lean On by the hip hop unit. So if you're someone who can listen to music while reading without having a mental breakdown unlike me feel free to listen to it-)

It was far past midnight, Jihoon noticed as he glanced at the time on the corner of his laptop screen. 3:57AM, it read. The short man sighed, looking up for a moment and rolling his neck. Next were his fingers, cracking his knuckles before he could go back to work.

Everyone else in the house was sleeping, the more than uncommon silence filling the apartment. It was a good atmosphere to work in. Jihoon not only felt more productive at night, but there were far less distractions too. Sure, sometimes it was nice to work with the sound of everyone hanging out together around him. He’d deny that though with every fiber of his body, if anyone asked. But it was easier to focus like this.

So here he was, now 4 in the morning, sitting alone on the living room couch with the computer on his lap, taking a deep breath before he could focus back on the screen.

“What you doing?”

“Holy sh–!” Jihoon jumped in his spot, almost dropping his laptop in the midst of it his scare. “What the hell?!” He whispered, half turning now to look back and see Jun leaning onto the back of the couch with a proud grin.

“Are you trying to kill me?” The shorter asked, pinching his friend’s arm.

“Ow– I just wanted to see what you were doing.” Jun defended, jumping over the back of the couch and onto the seat next to him.

“I’m working.” Replied Jihoon, making himself comfortable again. “It’s not like I stay up to play Overwatch.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Jun pointed out with a smirk.

“That was _one_ time.” Jihoon grumbled before he began typing away.

“So, what work are you doing?” The Chinese boy asked again, now leaning against him. He really wasn’t letting it go, was he? Jihoon groaned in annoyance as he felt the weight of the guy’s head on his shoulder.

“I’m creating yours and Vernon’s virtual profiles.” He explained.

“So like, creating a facebook account?” Jun blinked, trying to look at him despite his awkward position.

“It’s a little bit more complicated than that.” Jihoon pointed out, a bit annoyed. He thought at least at this hour he’d get some peace to work. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Can’t.” The taller simply replied. “Complicated how?”

Jihoon took a slightly deeper breath, shrugging a bit – which didn’t make the other move at all, by the way. “Just, complicated. I gotta hack into the system to get you two in, I gotta create resumes and shit, create vacancy for you guys. it’s a whole thing.”

“Okay.” Jun nodded, and the hacker thought he could go back to his work. And he did, for about a minute.

“…How do you do that?” Jun asked, causing Jihoon to groan once more.

“Junhui, no offense, but I can’t really work when you’re trying to play 20 questions.” Jun and Seokmin were two of the members he particularly didn’t like being rude to, given they were often the most naive, so he tried to be as gentle as possible. And yes, that was gentle.

“Oh, I know.” The other simply replied, a slight smirk tugging on the corner of his lips as he looked back at the screen now.

Jihoon raised a brow at that, now shifting a bit to properly look at his friend, who insisted on leaning on him as if he was a damn arm rest. “…I don’t follow.”

Jun then snickered, “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.”

“Hey!” He smacked the other’s shoulder lightly, making him snort and pull back.

“Jihoonie, it’s past 4am.” Jun pointed out, as if it suddenly explained his behavior.

“So? It’s fine, I’ll just wake up later.” Jihoon reasoned, slowly realizing what this was about. Perhaps he wasn’t the smartest after all. Not at this hour, at least.

“That’s not how this works. You’ve been at it since we got home, and that was over eight hours ago.” Replied the older, a more serious look falling on his face. That seemed like even more of a rare sight than the quiet apartment, and Jihoon could feel his stomach dropping a bit with guilt.

“Look, I know you’re worried, but it’s fine. I’ll get enough sleep, and I’ve been eating.” Jihoon gestured towards the empty ramen cup on the coffee table. However it didn’t seem enough for Jun, who rolled his eyes so far back Jihoon wondered if he actually had some sort of weird eye condition.

“It’s not the same thing.” Jun grunted a bit before scratching his head, apparently trying to think of something. “Look, when I train I need to take breaks, right?” He explained. “Even if I wanna practice for six hours, I can’t do six hours straight. I need to take breaks in between, rest, let my body recover.”

Jihoon tried to be understanding, tried to not just send the other off again. He could see his friend was making an effort to help him, and even if he didn’t believe he needed any help, he’d be too much of a dick if he just rejected him. “I get that. But I’m not using my body here, I’m using my brain.” He argued.

“And since when is your brain not part of your body?” Jun pointed out, causing the other to blink. “Even if you work better at night, as you love to put it, your brain still can’t work well after six hours. It just won’t do any progress. You gotta give it a break.” As much as he hated to admit, he did have a point there. The taller smirked, seeing he was now slowly winning the hacker over.

Jihoon sighed, scratching the side of his neck. “I just wanted to finish this,” He admitted, gesturing towards the screen. He didn’t like leaving things undone. They couldn’t move on with the planning if he didn’t have this figured out. It all depended on him. _They_ depended on him.

“And you will.” Jun grinned confidently, reaching out for his friend’s shoulder now as he sat facing him. “You always finish things, Woozi. Just give yourself some time. You’ll probably finish it better and faster after getting some rest.” He added, patting his shoulder.

With a long sigh and a reluctant nod, Jihoon saved his work and closed his laptop, putting it away on the coffee table. As soon as he sat back, he felt two arms wrapping tightly around him, causing his eyes to widen and his chest to clench.

Jun was hugging him. In fact, squeezing him would be a more appropriate term, and Jihoon hated closeness. He hated being held, being kissed, being touchy in general, to the point the other members constantly teased him about it. So it made no sense to him now why that felt so nice. It was as if all the exhaustion in his body caught up to him and he could fall apart, but his friend was there to catch him. It was probably the tiredness, Jihoon figured.

He snapped out of his thoughts then, squirming in the other’s hold while trying to pull away. “Yaah, let me go!” Jihoon so wisely put it as he tried to push his friend away with little success.

“I can’t! Our Jihoonie is too cute~” Jun teased with a chuckle, earning himself an elbow the side. “Ow-“

“Moon Junhui let me go now or I swear to God–“ Jun let out a laugh before finally letting him go, but not without ruffling his hair a bit on the way.

“Get some rest, okay?” His Chinese friend smiled before pushing himself up, stretching his arms out and leaving for the kitchen.

Jihoon grunted out an agreement, getting his laptop before getting off the couch. He paused for a moment, bringing his hand over his chest as he felt that weird calm take over him again. It really made no sense.

 

——

 

Despite sharing an apartment with 13 people, Joshua had a talent for finding somewhere to be alone. It was probably due to his quiet personality, being able to slip past people unnoticed and even leaving a conversation without too much of a fuss. It had actually concerned him a couple of times, as he wondered if he was simply forgettable. Jeonghan denied that vehemently though. He said he was like a light to which people got used to easily, but would feel its absence the minute it went off. Jisoo was sure that was a bit of an overstatement, but he found warmth in the other’s comparison.

Still, his little talent could be quite of a gift sometimes. Seokmin and Seungkwan were off to class, so Jisoo found solace in his own shared room, taking notes from a book that was probably heavier than his chair. Apart from the lamp on his desk, the room was slowly darkening as the Sun began to set.

That’s when he heard the door opening, though he didn’t need to ask who it was.

“Hyung, mind if I hang here for a bit?” The youngest asked, peeking through the slit along with the light that came from the hallway.

“Just close the door on your way in.” He mumbled, hearing the TV blasting in the background.

Chan did as he was told, closing the door behind him as he walked into the room and threw himself on the bed on the far left, closest to the desk. Jisoo had a feeling he didn’t come in just to hang, and even if he had work to do he didn’t want to send the other off. As ridiculous as it sounded, Jeonghan was right, Dino was their baby after all.

“Are you studying for a test?” The boy asked, looking at the bunker above him.

“Not really, just studying in general.” Chan hummed, smiling a bit to himself.

“Cheol-hyung was right, you’re a nerd.” He teased, though Jisoo could only snicker.

“That’s because Seongcheol freaks out if he sees a book thicker than his arm.” The older pointed out, earning a snort from the other.

For the next few minutes the room was quiet again, and Jisoo continued to underline the parts that stood out to him, not minding the silence.

“Hyung,” Dino called, though it took him a moment to continue. “You pray, right?”

Despite raising a brow, Jisoo kept his eyes on the book, humming a bit to himself. “Occasionally, yeah.” He admitted, though it was no secret between them. Within the group, Jisoo was probably the most religious one. He didn’t go to church as much anymore due to his schedules, and he was still a man of science in many ways, but he didn’t think that interfered with his faith. He could find balance in both.

“Is it like a weekly thing, or…?” Jisoo smiled at the other’s question, yet he refrained from laughing. He didn’t want to squish Chan’s curiosity by embarrassing him, especially when he sensed no malice in his tone.

“Not really, I do it when I feel like it. When I need comfort, or when I feel thankful.” The elder explained, continuing with his reading, even if at a slower pace now.

“Huh…” He could almost hear the gears on the boy’s head turning. “…Do you pray for us?”

At that, Jisoo paused, honestly a bit surprised. “Yes.” He admitted, with no shame.

“Really?” The boy sat up then, looking at his friend whose back was facing him. “What do you pray for?”

“Many things, I guess.” Joshua tilted his head slightly to the right, thinking about it. “Though mostly for your safety. To make sure you guys come out okay.” That was a bit tougher to admit. He wasn’t ashamed of it, he just hated admitting the fact that they were in constant danger whenever they took up a mission.

“But… Is that okay?” Dino asked, now sounding a bit troubled.

With that, Joshua closed the cap on his pen, turning his chair to face the other. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… Can you pray for us, when we do the things we do?” He didn’t sound upset, but it was easy to see the conflict in his mind by the way he scratched the side of his neck and avoided Jisoo’s gaze. Sometimes he could swear the boy was a copy of Seungcheol.

“Like… Doesn’t it worry you? You’re a good guy and, I’m not saying the guys aren’t good, because they are! But, ah…” The youngest sighed, propping himself up on his elbows to look at his friend. “If we do bad things… Can you really pray for us? Why would it help us?”

If that didn’t break his heart right there Joshua wasn’t sure what could. He could see Chan was more curious than worried, but to think that the boy could think himself, and his friends, being worth less than others… Jisoo had no idea.

“Well, it’s… Relative.” Jisoo wet his lips, trying to explain. Dino wasn’t stupid, far from it. If he turned out to be a genius he wouldn’t be surprised. So he tried to put this in a more logical way. From what he got so far, he didn’t seem to want comfort, he wanted to understand.

“What the guys… We do, is not good in every way, you’re right.” Joshua agreed. “It’s illegal for a reason, and even if we’re harming bad people, we’re still harming people. In the right world, we shouldn’t judge who to punish.”

“But _you_ don’t punish anyone, you’re just helping us out.” Dino pointed out, to which Joshua nodded. As someone working to be a doctor, it’d be wrong of him to harm other people. That wasn’t what he was there for, he was there to help. Even if sometimes helping meant hurting, he couldn’t compromise that part of himself.

“But I’m still aware of what you’re all doing and I’m not stopping you. That’s wrong too.” He pointed out, to which Dino groaned, falling back on the bed.

“Then I don’t understand! Why do you help us if it’s bad?” Jisoo chuckled at the other’s impatience, finding his innocence rather refreshing.

“In an ideal world, we wouldn’t need to judge who to punish. But this isn’t an ideal world, is it?” He pointed out. “What we do is, in the end, good.”

Dino blinked, sitting back up to look at his older friend.

“Look, I’m not saying it justifies the bad things that we gotta do, because it doesn’t. But I know that at the end of the day, the world is a little bit better after the deal is done.” Joshua admitted, smiling softly.

“Aren’t you afraid He’ll be upset?” Dino wondered, pointing upwards slightly.

“I’m not afraid of Him.” Joshua blinked at first, laughing then when he realized how cocky it had come out. “I mean, I don’t have reason to fear Him. The world isn’t black and white, there’s a lot of times we can’t tell good from bad.” The intern admitted. “If we make mistakes, it’s okay, we’re human. The important thing is that we keep trying to make ourselves better.”

Dino hummed, nodding lightly for a moment before a smile spread on his lips. “That actually makes sense, hyung.”

Joshua chuckled, relieved he had managed to help the other, though he wasn’t entirely sure with what. The youngest now pushed himself up, stretching out his arms above his head before groaning.

“I should let you be now.” Joshua didn’t mind having him around, but he knew the boy would probably feel like he was bothering. Amusingly enough, Dino was more mature in that aspect than many of the others.

“Dino?” Joshua called before he got to the door, watching him.

“Yeah?”He paused, looking back.

“You know it’s okay right? If you don’t wanna do this.” Joshua figured he should remind him, just in case. Just because he was their baby it didn’t mean he had to follow their steps. “If you feel it’s bad and you don’t wanna do it, it’s totally fine. Coups will understand.” He’d probably be happy, actually. But that was a whole other deal.

Dino blinked a couple of times, perhaps taken a bit by surprise with the statement. Yet soon the boy nodded, smiling warmly. “I know, hyung.” He assured him before leaving the room, Joshua now alone with his book and his thoughts.

 

——

 

It was the middle of the afternoon, the sun was out and Minghao was inside, sitting on a bed that wasn’t his with a briefcase open in front of him. In his hands he had his trusty pair of nunchucks, the same ones he gained when he had started being a professional, as how they put it at the time. They had a few years on them, but their perfect balance and aerodynamic design made up for any flaw of time.

Unfortunately, a couple of the chain links were getting a bit loose. That’s why he had grabbed his utility case, or that’s what he called it. It was basically just some random tools thrown together in a briefcase he had snatched during a mission a couple of years ago. Tightening the chains wouldn’t be a problem, but he had to make sure they were perfect, or it would throw the whole thing off.

As he began his work, he could hear the door opening. Soon enough he could spot Seokmin in his peripheral, walking in and throwing himself on the bed across from him. The boy groaned before turning his head to the one on Seungkwan’s bed, raising a brow.

“Why are you here?” Seokmin asked, lying on his stomach while looking at the other.

“Jun is trying to teach Hoshi and Wonwoo in our room and I can’t work with all that noise.” Not that teaching Chinese was a particularly noisy task, but teaching those two together definitely was.

“Shouldn’t you call them hyung?” Seokmin pointed out before Minghao shrugged.

“They’re not here.” He reasoned. “Plus, I thought we were over that.” Honestly, it came and went. Some of them used honorifics, especially Chan, but others weren’t that used to them. They just left it up to choice, really. In their group, no one really was superior to anyone else.

“Good point.” Seokmin admitted, watching as his friend began using the pliers to adjust the chain.

After a moment or two of silence, Minghao glanced at the other. “What’s your deal?” The red haired one asked before looking back at his work.

“I didn’t say anything.” Seokmin replied with a blink.

“Exactly.” Minghao pointed out, grabbing both ends of the nunchucks and tugging them apart to test the chain. “You’re only quiet when something’s up.” He added, grabbing the pliers again to continue fixing the links.

Seokmin blinked again before chuckling, only making Minghao raise a brow. His friend was always cheerful, but they’ve gotten close enough over the years for him to be able to tell whether his laughs were real or not. And that one sounded a bit off.

“Maybe I’m just tired.” He suggested, grinning a bit.

“No, that’s when you really don’t shut up. It’s like your mouth is trying to use up all the energy before recharging.” Minghao replied with a smirk, glancing at the former once again. “Come on Dokyeommie, just tell me what’s up.”

Maybe it was the use of the nickname that got Seokmin to soften a bit, grabbing another pillow from the floor to hold against his chest. “I failed the test.” He sighed, holding the pillow tighter.

“What test?” Minghao blinked, pausing his work for a moment. “The one you busted your ass for?”

Seokmin groaned, shifting onto his side to face the other a bit better. “Yeah, that one.” He sounded a bit annoyed, which honestly Minghao couldn’t blame him for. He had seen him study day and night for that test.

“Well, that sucks ass.” Minghao blurted out, before picking up his nunchucks again and moving onto another chainlink.

“…Thanks, that’s really reassuring.” Seokmin frowned a bit, making his friend snicker.

“Okay, fine, I’m sorry you failed the test. You deserved to pass.” Minghao admitted. “But this shit happens, you know? Sometimes we fail.” He almost used Mingyu as an example, but he figured it wouldn’t help much right now.

“I know, I know.” Seokmin sighed. “It’s just that, now I gotta take the exam. And if I fail the exam, I fail the class. And then I’ll have to take it again next semester, and it’ll take me a semester more to graduate, if I even graduate, and–“

“Okay okay, slow down.” Minghao interrupted him, putting his nunchucks down to properly look at the other. He could practically read the anxiety on his face, which made him worry a bit more now. This wasn’t like Dokyeom at all.

“First of all, you don’t even know how the exam will go. You got Jisoo and even Seungkwan to help you study, so get that idea of failing out of your head.” Minghao reasoned, now shifting to turn a bit more to the other, sitting with both legs crossed. “And even if you fail, so what? Some people take years longer to graduate, and that’s fine.”

Seomin gnawed on his bottom lip, chuckling a bit. “Yeah, I guess. I’m just overreacting anyway. I’m fine.”

Minghao groaned, rolling his eyes. He had to be careful with that, he didn’t want to turn into Jun. “Okay, second of all, stop saying you’re fine. You got a problem and we’re talking about it, you don’t need to be fine. Just because I’m the grumpy one and you’re supposed to be the happy one, you don’t need to be happy all the time.” He put it bluntly, hoping his friend would drop the act.

“…I thought Jihoon-hyung was the grumpy one.” Seomin pointed out with a half grin.

“He’s not grumpy, he’s bitter, it’s different.“ Minghao shook his head, trying to get back on track. “And what’s this talk about not graduating?”

Seokmin pushed himself to sit up then, one leg hanging off the bed while the other was bent on the knee, resting on the mattress. “I don’t know, just… A lot of people don’t graduate, you know? They’re just not cut out for it. And what if I’m one of those people?” He looked up at Minghao with big, fearful eyes. “What if I can’t graduate? I mean, I can’t even watch a mission without turning into a nervous wreck over you guys. How can I become a doctor?”

Minghao licked his lips, nodding a bit. As much as he thought this was all crazy talk, because he knew how good Seokmin was at what he did, this was clearly a serious insecurity of his, and he didn’t want to just laugh it off.

“Well, I don’t know that much about medicine, or being a doctor,” Minghao admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I’m pretty sure it’s different from monitoring our jobs. I mean, when you’re watching a mission, there’s not much you can do. If shit goes down, you’re just sitting there watching. It’s not like you can stop things from happening to us, and that’s scary.” After all, they all knew the only reason Seungcheol insisted on going on every damn mission was to be able to do something if shit hit the fan.

“What you do as a doctor is different. Everything you do is affecting someone else’s life. You being there and helping them is what can save them.” Minghao explained. He wasn’t used to be the one comforting others, but it felt easier than he thought it would be. At least until now, all he’d done was say the truth.

“Well, I mean… I guess…” Seokmin admitted, expression relaxing a bit.

“But even if you’re right, even if you don’t graduate, it’s still okay, you know?” Minghao shrugged lightly. “You’ll find something else you like.”

“Yeah, but,” Seokmin gulped, biting at his lip once again. “Then I won’t be useful anymore, right?”

“…What?” Minghao frowned.

“I mean, the only reason I got in was because of the medical stuff, so…”

Minghao took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from groaning out loud once again. Seriously? Who put that in his head? “You won’t be useless, Kyeommie.” He breathed out, looking at him dead serious. “We got two other people who know how to do this shit. Do you really think you’re still here because of your major?”

“Well, no, but–“

“But nothing.” Minghao frowned, raising his voice just a bit. “You’re family already, you idiot. Do you seriously think we’re gonna kick you out or some shit over some stupid diploma?”

The room went silent then, Seokmin blinking a couple of times before a small yet playful smile showed on his lips. A real one, this time.

“…You think I’m family?”

Minghao finally groaned, rubbing his face. “Yeah, whatever, just don’t make me say it again.”

“You think I’m family!” Seokmin smiled brightly now, and despite how annoying he sounded, Minghao was glad to see his friend back to his normal self.

“Yah, if you don’t stop I’m taking it back.” Minghao warned, yet it was useless. Soon his friend was getting up on his feet, dancing a bit on the spot.

“You can’t! We’re brother’s now. Twins! Blood is thicker than water!”

Minghao tried to kick at the other, already regretting his words. That’s what he got for trying to help. “I’m armed and I’m not afraid to use it!” The Chinese boy warned, picking up his nunchucks.

Seokmin screamed, though it sounded more like a shriek, and darted out towards the living room, shouting “We’re twins!” on his way out, before Minghao’s weapon hit the door. The latter sighed, pushing himself up to retrieve the nunchucks.

Before he got to them, the door opened once again, Seokmin peeking his head in.

“…Thanks Hao.” He whispered with a warm smile, closing the door behind him once he left. Minghao stood there blinking for a moment, though soon he smiled as well, picking up his nunchucks.

“Glad to help, DK.” He replied even if the other would never hear it, heading back to the bed to finish his work.

 

——

 

_\- - / 04 / 2016_

 

They had only been waiting for Jun and Vernon to return before beginning to work on the next step of the plan. The two were still in their red and mustard uniforms, having been given no time to change before the whole group gathered around the short yet large coffee table. They also reeked of french fries and old shoes, but Joshua found best not to complain. Thankfully everyone seemed to have the same thought.

“Okay, so what do we got so far?” Seungcheol asked, looking at the TV. Jihoon had connected it to his laptop, showcasing the blueprint of a bowling alley and the profile of the owner side by side. Next to him on the coffee table sat Wonwoo with his own laptop, taking notes as the meeting went on.

“Basically dealing with a drug-dealing bowling alley owner.” Seokmin answered, flipping through the notes he had on hand.

“I dare you to say that fast three times.” Joshua heard Soonyoung whisper into Wonwoo’s ear, looking over only to see the boy get an elbow to the stomach instead of a reply.

“He likes doing business at night while the alley is working, behind the lanes.” Jun explained, leaning back with his hands on the floor behind him, propping him up. “Drowns out the sounds.”

“Of their transactions?” Seungkwan inquired.

“And potential beatings.” Junhui shrugged. The other spoke with such casuallity, Joshua wouldn’t be surprised if he had witnessed one of those. He was working for the man after all, or at least pretending to.

“Can you highlight that space over there?” Hansol asked then, pointing to an empty space that seemed inconveniently placed between an office and the male restroom. Jihoon did as he was told, the room turning neon green.

“We know that’s a secret room he keeps the product.” Hansol continued. “I couldn’t get to it though. The door is behind a fake cupboard, and it’s got biometric security. Voice, fingerprints, retina, the whole deal.”

Wonwoo and Jihoon groaned simultaneously, and despite the seriousness of the situation, Jisoo couldn’t help snorting a bit at the sight.

“Why is everybody getting biometrics these days? Don’t they know it’s a pain to get through that shit?” The shorter complained.

“I think that’s exactly _why_ they get it.” Jisoo pointed out, chuckling quietly at the other’s glare.

“They’ve got ventilation in the room though.” Wonwoo pointed out, clicking on the venting pipe coming from the room.

“Yeah, we know it comes out through the roof.” Vernon nodded lightly, glancing back at Jun. “Hyung and I tried going through it, but it’s too small. I mean, I almost made it, but I think it’d have to be someone shorter.”

Twelve heads then turned to the smallest person in the room, who was still eyeing his computer. It took a while for Jihoon to take note of the silence, looking around to see all eyes on him.

“Yeah, right.” The boy scoffed, looking absolutely insulted. “I’d rather break the whole building down with a bulldozer.”

“So that’s a maybe?” Mingyu asked, and Jisoo thought the only reason he didn’t get hit was because he was too out of reach. Oh, the irony.

“Yah, I’m not even a thief. One of those two should do it!” Jihoon pointed out, gesturing to Soonyoung and Minghao.

“I’m taller than Hansol.” The8 defended.

“Me too.” The other added, blinking.

“I’m shorter than Hansol-hyung.” Dino shrugged.

Everyone paused to look at the youngest, as if that was brand new information. It wasn’t a bad idea, and it certainly made sense, just… Chan didn’t go into missions. Ever. It was almost an unspoken rule, one that Seungcheol was strict about keeping.

“…But you’re not a thief.” The leader pointed out, heads then turning to him.

“Hoshi-hyung’s been training me though.” And all heads turned back, as if they were watching a ping pong match. “He said I’m pretty good at it too!”

“Is that true?” Seungcheol then looked at the oldest thief, and maybe it seemed crazy, but Joshua could’ve sworn he heard Soonyoung gulp.

“W-Well, I mean…” The small eyed boy chuckled, trying not to get too much in between them. “He’s not a professional. He’s still got a lot to learn, but…” Soonyoung nodded then, looking back at the youngest with an honest expression. “He’s pretty great at it. Plus, he learns fast.”

“See!” Chan grinned, looking back at his older brother. “He says I should do it!”

“Well, that’s not what exactly I said–“ Soonyoung let out an awkward laugh.

“You’re not doing it.” The eldest declared, and Joshua could feel the tension start to set like a fog, growing thicker and thicker.

“Why not? Jihoon-hyung can’t do it and I’m clearly the best choice.” The rest of them began exchanging looks, as if having mental conversations about what to do.

“It’s too dangerous.” Seungcheol pointed out.

“That’s what you always say!” Dino complained, anger beginning to grow in his eyes.

It wasn’t like they had never argued before. They were brothers, fighting wasn’t new. _This_ was new though. Perhaps it began just like every other argument, but Jisoo could sense something about this felt off.

“Because it’s always dangerous!” The leader raised his voice. “I’m not having this conversation again, Chan.”

“We never have this conversation!” The youngest matched his tone. “If it’s dangerous for me it’s dangerous for anyone.”

“Chan, it’s okay, we can find some other way. We’re thirteen people, we’ll figure something out.” Soonyoung chuckled, trying to diffuse the situation as he always would. Yet it didn’t seem to work this time, as Dino shook his head and pulled back from the table a bit.

“No, it’s not fair! All you guys are going into the places and I never go. I get that I’m the youngest, but I’m not a baby.”

Jisoo looked to his left, watching Jeonghan place his hand on the leader’s shoulder who sat between them. It wasn’t hard to see Seongcheol was tense, given the way his jaw was clenching.

“This isn’t up for discussion. You’re not ready yet.” Seongcheol tried lowering his voice, though somehow it just sounded more ominous.

“Give me one good reason.” Dino argued, glaring at his brother.

“Because I said so!” Jisoo flinched at his friend’s reply. Nope, bad choice of words. Really bad choice.

“Since when is that a good reason? That’s fucking hypocritical!” The youngest stood up then with a dry laugh.

“Dino, drop it!” The eldest stood up as well, despite Jeonghan’s failed attempts to tug him back down by his sleeve. Joshua gulped as he saw his friend’s eyes fleeting between the two. Jeonghan never liked confrontations, and it was visible in the way his lips pressed together in a thin line.

“But it’s not fair!”

“I said drop it!” Seungcheol insisted, as if it was a final warning.

“Or what? you’re gonna kick me out like you did with Samuel!?”

“Dino!” It was Jeonghan now who stood up, voice echoing loud and tone colder than Joshua had ever heard in his life. In fact, none of them had ever heard Jeonghan use that tone on anyone in the group, especially Chan.

There was a list of names that should never be brought up within the group. It was a short list, and though it wasn’t written down anywhere, all of them knew it. And everyone knew whose name was at first place.

The next seconds that went by felt like decades. The tension had frozen them in place, the silence ringing in their ears louder than any voice. Joshua couldn’t take his eyes off the three. How shocked the youngest looked; how Seungcheol’s lips were parted, as if helplessly waiting for words to come out; how protective yet regretful Jeonghan managed to look at the same time.

“…That’s enough.” The second oldest stated lowly, but he kept his stance.

Dino’s expression quickly shifted from shock back to anger, but now instead of arguing the boy only turned, rushing back to his shared room.

Jeonghan’s shoulders sagged as he exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Hoshi?” He called softly.

“Yeah, on it.” Soonyoung stood up to go after Chan, the rest of them still unsure what to do next. Jisoo could only look at Seungcheol, his own expression softening as he saw the hurt in his friend’s eyes. He knew Dino didn’t mean it, the fault lied on both sides. Yet still, that was something he wished he never had to see.

“Cheol…” He called for him, standing up as well.

“I didn’t–“ The leader licked his lips, looking at his two same aged friends before glancing at the rest. “I mean, I never…” He tried again, to no use.

“We know.” Seokmin spoke now, softly yet reassuring. Leave it to Seokmin to find a smile after all that. It was like trying to use a match as a fireplace during a snow storm. They definitely appreciated it, though.

“Jihoonie, can you wrap it up here?” Jeonghan’s voice was now as soft as silk, as if he had to make up for the harshness of before. As protective as he was of Seungcheol, to say his own actions didn’t take a toll on him would be a great mistake.

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” The hacker nodded while the rest also began gathering their things from the coffee table. Jisoo would guess it was to keep themselves busy more than anything else.

Meanwhile, Jeonghan put his hand on Seongcheol’s back, slowly guiding him to their shared bedroom. The leader looked simply defeated, regret oozing out of him like a stench. Joshua followed them with his eyes, only to see Jeonghan stop by the door and look back at him. He didn’t need any word from the other to understand what he wanted, nodding once before making his way around the table to follow them into the bedroom.

There was a short list of names that should never be brought up within the group, and the first name was Samuel.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really hard deciding which scenes to put in this chapter and the next, so I'm sorry if it feels a bit clunky.  
> I also changed the formatting a bit cause it felt too spaced out, but if you preferred it like before please let me know.  
> Again, any suggestions are always welcome!  
> Also, thank you so much for everyone who's left comments and kudos and even just spent some of their precious time reading this.
> 
> I was really afraid no one would bother so it means a lot to see there are people who like it ^^
> 
>  
> 
> ~~And if everything goes according to plan there will be actual action/mission stuff in the next chapter so I'm sorry if this fic is less gang and more downton abbey at this point~~


	4. Wherever you go I will follow you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I want to be part of the team. I need to feel like part of the team. Hyung…” He sighed softly, looking at his brother with pleading eyes. “I want to help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so thankful people liked the last chapter. Hopefully, this one doesn't let down ~~too much lol~~  
>  I didn't want to post it until I was quite satisfied with it, so here it is.
> 
>    
>  ~~I am still figuring out how to write the action scenes though, and for that, again, I apologize~~

No one had really seen it coming. Samuel was their youngest, their second baby as Jeonghan so creatively put it, and they doted on him. He was there practically from the beginning and became close to each and every one of them.

Yet one day, he decided to leave. By morning he had already packed, though it took him the entire day to say goodbye to everyone. He didn’t seem sad, but when had he ever? Mingyu couldn’t remember even a moment when Samuel wasn’t smiling. Even when he hugged the boy one last time, noticing how much he’d grown yet pointing how how tiny he still was, the youngest only laughed and shoved him off. Sure, Mingyu was guilty of picking on him constantly, but he truly felt like an older brother to the kid. And then he was gone.

They’d thought of asking Seungcheol what happened, noticing how heavy the air seemed around the two. Yet every time they tried bringing it up, the look in the leader’s eyes kept them from going further. In the end, they decided they trusted their leader, knowing an explanation would come at the right time. So they waited.

It had been hours now since Seungcheol and Chan’s argument, and most of them had already went to bed. Mingyu had tried to as well when he saw the leader was already asleep in their room, but sleep seemed to avoid him at all costs. So instead he went out to the kitchen, figuring he could find something else to do.

It was 3AM when the pancake batter hit the pan, sizzling as it spread out. Probably not the time to be cooking in the first place, but Mingyu found it therapeutic.

“I knew I smelled pancakes.” The tall boy blinked as he looked behind him, spotting Hansol leaning against the doorframe with a grin.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up.” Mingyu apologized before looking back at the pan, flipping the pancake.

“Nah, you didn’t. Couldn’t sleep.” Hansol shrugged, making his way over to get two plates from the cupboard.

“You too, huh?” Mingyu smiled softly. “How is he?” The smile slowly went away as the thought of the youngest came to mind.

Vernon shrugged lightly again, his expression not much better. “I don’t know, when I went in he was already asleep.” He admitted, placing the two plates on the kitchen table before he could get the forks and knives. “What about hyung?”

“Same.” Mingyu replied, using a large plate on the counter to place the pancakes onto. “Shua-hyung was up but he didn’t say much either. He just looked tired.” He refrained from asking too, given how he rarely saw that look on his friend, even after long night shifts.

“Do you think he knows?” Vernon asked after a moment, and Mingyu paused what he was doing. It was hard to say it hadn’t crossed his mind multiple times that night.

“I think so.” Mingyu sighed, placing the forth pancake on top of the pile. “Chan probably knows, right?” Or else why would he have said that?

“Mmh, thats what I guessed.” The younger admitted, taking a bottle of chocolate sauce from the fridge and bringing it to the table with him before sitting down. Mingyu turned off the stove, putting the pan carefully in the sink not to make too much noise.

“Do you think it’s true?” He asked as he brought the pancakes over, placing them in between the two plates before sitting across from his friend. They knew Seungcheol hadn’t kicked Samuel out. Even if they had no idea what happened, the moment Dino said it, it felt wrong.

“Nah. Not like that, at least. I don’t know.” Hansol sighed now as well, sliding a pancake onto his plate and pouring what Mingyu could only assume was an unhealthy amount of chocolate onto it. “You know how Chan gets. He likes exaggerating things when he’s pissed off.”

And he truly was pissed, that was undeniable. But the thought that the boy still knew something that they didn’t was itching in the back of his mind.

“Shouldn’t you two be in bed?” They both looked up as Jeonghan walked into the kitchen, heading straight towards the cupboards. They then looked at each other for a moment, wondering how much the other might’ve overheard.

“We could ask you the same thing.” Mingyu pointed out, to which Jeonghan only smiled, but it was fake and sad and it made the food in his throat hard to swallow.

“Mothers can sense when their children are up at 3 AM.” He teased, sitting at the end of the table, between the two.

“Can you stop calling yourself our mom? You’re barely 3 years older than me.” Hansol groaned.

“I’ll stop saying it when it stops being true.” Jeonghan pointed at the younger with his fork before grabbing a pancake for himself.

They ate quietly for a moment, not sure of what conversation to have anymore. Mingyu noticed the elder wasn’t eating much, mostly cutting up the pancake and occasionally nibbling on the pieces. Something was wrong, but he didn’t need a shredded pancake to know that.

“Hyung…” He called softly.

“Are you mad?” Jeonghan blurted out, looking down at his own plate. The other two paused, looking at each other again. “Are you mad that we know?” He looked up now with a frown that dripped with concern.

“No.” Mingyu admitted. He wasn’t mad. “I just…”

“Miss him.” Hansol finished for him, and he nodded. They missed him, and it frustrated them not to know what happened.

“I miss him too.” The oldest of the three replied, giving them another broken smile and Mingyu just wished he would stop with those. He’d rather have Jeonghan crying than pretending to be fine. “I didn’t know in the beginning either. But Shua had overheard the fight, so he knew.” His attention went back to his pancake then, or what was left of it.

“There was a fight?” Hansol blinked, allowing Jeonghan to let out an amused chuckle. At least _that_ wasn’t fake.

“You seem surprised.” Mingyu had to agree with their eldest. Even if he had no idea what happened, he had kind of assumed there had been a fight.

“Shua didn’t tell me at first.” He clarified. “But the two were acting so weird, like they were hiding something. And Cheol looked like shit and Shua wouldn’t tell me why and it was driving me mad–“ The boy paused as he realized he was stabbing the pancake with his fork, taking a deep breath. “We got into a fight, and they told me.”He smirked a bit as he looked up at the two. “Petty, I know.”

“You were just worried.” Mingyu quickly replied, because he knew how Jeonghan got. He loved teasing, but the moment someone was in trouble he needed to help. And not being able to help got him as frustrated as Seungcheol not being able to go on a mission. As much as they joked about it, he really was like the mom of the group.

“I guess.” He took another deep breath, sitting up a bit straighter now. “Seungcheol didn’t kick him out.” He stated.

“We guessed that much.” Vernon nodded, licking his lips. “But what happened?”

“You remember how Sam had gone undercover on his own?” Jeonghan asked, and the two nodded.

“Yeah, it was a fucking ballsy move.” Vernon’s brows raised as if to emphasize the fact.

“It was a fucking stupid move. He could’ve gotten himself killed.” Mingyu added.

“Well, Coups agreed strongly with that.” Jeonghan pointed his fork again, now to the tallest. “So he called Samuel out on it. He had gone undercover without Cheol’s permission, and without telling us about it, when he wasn’t even fifteen.” He went on. “Sam said it was fine because he had gotten what we needed without a scratch in his body. That it was about time he got into jobs, and that Seungcheol was just too stubborn to realize it.”

Mingyu and Hansol flinched simultaneously, and Jeonghan snorted lightly. “Yeah, Cheol didn’t take it well either. He was just worried you know?”

“We all were.” Vernon admitted.

“So things escalated, and Cheol ended up telling him that if he didn’t want take responsibility for his actions and act like part of a team, he shouldn’t even be here in the first place.” Mingyu grimaced, already knowing the two of them too well to know there wasn’t much coming back from there. “So he said he’d leave then. And, well, the rest you know.”

Jeonghan smiled bitterly, putting his fork down. Vernon reached out, rubbing their friend’s shoulder as some form of comfort. Mingyu wasn’t sure he was relieved that they finally knew, or just upset to bring all those memories back again.

“He was too ambitious.” Mingyu smiled small, looking at the other two. “I mean, I’m not blaming either of them. Just… Samuel was always ambitious, and that’s great, but…”

“But in this business, it can get you killed.” Jeonghan grimaced at his own words.

“Hyung pushed him away to keep him safe.” Vernon realized, leaning back a bit more on the chair.

“Yes.” Jeonghan nodded. “Wasn’t the best way to do it, but his intentions were good.”

“Might’ve been the only way.” Mingyu mused out. “I don’t know if anything else would’ve worked.” Knowing Samuel, he’d probably only leave if something worse happened, and he didn’t want to consider what that could’ve been.

Jeonghan smiled properly now, giving Mingyu at least some relief. “True, but Cheol needs to learn to let go of the reins a bit too. Dino is not Sam.”

The other two nodded once again, Vernon grabbing the last pancake from the big plate. Mingyu didn’t even know how he could eat after all that. “I’m sure he’s learning.” The youngest spoke with his mouth full, getting himself a kick in the shin from Mingyu.

Jeonghan just chuckled, pushing himself up. “That, he certainly is.” He assured them, grabbing his plate to push the uneaten food into the trashcan. “Get yourselves some sleep, alright? It’s late.”

“Yeah.” The two replied in unison, watching the eldest leave. Mingyu just sat for a moment, now looking at the clock on the wall. They had been talking for almost an hour, and he could finally feel sleep catching up to him now. He was still nervous, but he had a feeling that everything would work out just fine.

 

——

 

The sun had just set when Chan returned from his training, waiting in their shared bedroom since Soonyoung had called dibs on the shower first. He stank and he was sweaty and he could really use a shower, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue. Instead he just sat on their desk chair, rolling back while looking up at the ceiling.

He had managed to avoid his brother the entire day, which he was sure was partly because Seungcheol was probably avoiding him as well. He didn’t hate him, he never could, and he wasn’t still angry either. It was more than that. Part of him wanted to apologize, wanted to call it all water under the bridge and have things back to normal once again. But another part of him, the prideful part of him which he knew he shared with Seungcheol, wanted him to state his ground.

The guys could joke around all they wanted, but he wasn’t a baby anymore. He was sure even Jeonghan saw that better than his own brother. Yet Seungcheol was still over protective of him. Of course Dino was grateful, he looked up to his brother more than anyone else in the world. But he needed to grow up. What was the point of being in the team if he couldn’t help? Most of the time he just felt useless.

There was a knock on the door, but Dino didn’t bother looking over. “It’s open.”

As the door slipped open, Seungcheol peeked in. Well, so much for successfully avoiding him now, though at least he could blame that on the other. Still, he didn’t look at the older, keeping his eyes on the star stickers on the ceiling.

“Hey, can we talk?” Seungcheol’s voice was low and careful, yet even without an answer he already closed the door behind him. Chan only hummed, hearing his brother approach him. He sat down on Soonyoung’s bed, and even if he couldn’t see the other, he could feel his eyes on him.

“…I’m sorry.” Dino bit his lip at his brother’s confession, looking down at his hands. He fumbled with his fingers, not knowing what to say. He hated this, he hated fighting with Seungcheol, but he didn’t want to lose, either.

“I’m sorry too.” He turned his chair a bit to finally face him now, and part of him wished he hadn’t. He didn’t look great, honestly. Not sleep ridden or swollen or pale, like Dino had seen him a few times before. He just looked sad, and somehow that was worse.

“But I meant what I said.” Chan cleared that out, looking to the side. He could hear his brother inhaling sharply, but he swallowed down any more apologies.

“That’s okay.” Seungcheol nodded, picking at the sheets beneath him though he kept his eyes on the youngest. “Are you mad at me?”

“You know I’m never mad at you.” Chan sighed, rubbing his neck.

“Are you mad because of Samuel?” The youngest blinked at the question, looking back at his brother. He had almost forgotten about that. That was something he said out of impulse, he wasn’t even thinking about him, yet he didn’t even realize how hard it had hit Seungcheol. Or any of the others.

“No, I didn’t- Shit, no, I’m sorry.” He mumbled, now pulling his feet up onto the chair and hugging his knees. “I didn’t mean any of that.”

Seungcheol nodded, seemingly relaxing a bit while wetting his lips. “You know I didn’t…?”

“I know, I know.” Dino nodded, hugging his knees tighter. He knew what had happened. Seungcheol himself had told him a while ago. “It was a stupid thing to say and I don’t know why I said it.”

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Seungcheol smiled small, and Dino was glad at least his brother wasn’t mad at him either. “But, do you think maybe there’s a reason?” Chan blinked at that. “You brought him up out of nowhere, and I’m not blaming you, just… I want to know if you’re okay.”

The youngest chewed on his lip, asking himself the same thing. Was he okay? “I am.” Yet why did he bring up Samuel? “I just… I’m scared.”

“Scared?” Seungcheol’s brows raised as he listened to his brother.

“I’m scared of being useless.” Chan confessed then. “I never go into missions, I barely help with the planning. The hyungs teach me, but what’s the use if I’m always here?”

“Chan…” Seungcheol tried, but was quickly interrupted.

“What if I’m not needed after all?” Chan finally asked, a bit surprised by his own question. “You’re my brother, and I know you’ll never kick me out. But what if you all don’t need me anymore? I don’t want that.” He gulped, frowning a bit. “I want to be part of the team. I need to _feel_ like part of the team. Hyung…” He sighed softly, looking at his brother with pleading eyes. “I want to help.”

Seungcheol took a moment, and Chan could only assume he was assessing the information. It kind of came out all at once, now he realized. But he didn’t even know it was all rooted so deep within him. It was scary, but freeing.

“I understand.” The eldest finally spoke. “And I agree. I think- I _know_ I’d feel the same way too.” He reasoned. “But I wasn’t just protecting you, you know? I mean, the bigger part was, I’ll admit it. But you know that once you start, there’s no going back. And I just… I don’t want to compromise your life.” The leader sighed, pushing his brown hair back.

“You got so much going for you, Channie. You were great in school, you’re such a fast learner, you can do anything. We…” Seungcheol looked back at the door, licking his lips. “This is all we can do. This is the only way we found of surviving while doing something good. Most of us don’t have anything else.” He looked back at his brother then. “If you choose to be anything else later, if you choose any other path… It’s gonna be ten times harder because you helped us. I didn’t want to get in the way of your future.”

It was Chan now who took the time to process everything. He did’t agree with any of it, but slowly, he could understand. His brother was years of maturity ahead of him, but now he felt like he was slowly catching up. Yet he was also saddened, burdened even. His brother had done so much for him, for all of them, yet he still blamed himself for anything bad that could come their way.

“But I already made my decision, hyung.” Chan mumbled, putting his legs down again. “I made my decision when I chose to come live with you. I made my decision when I chose not to apply for college. I already chose to be with you guys, to be a part of the team.”

“But Chan–“

“No, no buts.” He shook his head, closing his fists over his knees to give himself more courage. “It’s my decision hyung, and you need to respect it too. I know you trust me. And if later on it turns out to be the wrong decision, I need to know I was the one who made it, and no one else.”

Seungcheol pressed his lips together, though he soon nodded, patting his own knees as if settling the subject. “Alright.”

“…Alright?” Chan raised a brow.

“You’re right, and you’re being mature, so I can’t argue with that. I need to… I need to start letting go.” Chan was impressed by his brother, though he was certain those words didn’t originally come from him. Still, the fact that Seungcheol was even admitting it was already a big improvement.

“Thanks, hyung.” Chan smiled softly for the first time in too long, scratching the back of his neck.

“But I’m still monitoring your mission.” Seungcheol warned, causing Chan to blink a couple of times.

“My mission?” The youngest questioned with a tilt to his head.

“Well, someone’s gotta climb into the vents, no?” Seungcheol pointed out, pushing himself up off the bed. “And Jihoon will kill me before I try to get him near a pipe.”

“Wait, so does this mean…?” Chan got off the chair as well, eyes wide and aimed at his brother.

“Yah, do you need me to spell it out? You’re going into the vents. Honestly, you need to keep up if–”

Before Seungcheol could continue, Chan tackling him back onto the bed in a tight hug. “Do you mean it? You better mean it! I’m serious hyung you won’t be disappointed! I’ll do my best, you’ll see!”

“Yeah, yeah, easy on the ribs.” Seungcheol chuckled, sitting up and pushing him back by the shoulders to look him in the eye. “But you gotta promise me you’ll be careful, alright? No improvising, no fighting. You get in, get the stuff and get out, you hear me?”

“Yes yes, I promise.” Chan nodded quickly.

“I mean it. If you try to pull off any shit, Jeonghan’s babying you for a month.” The eldest warned, smirking a bit.

“Hyung!” Dino groaned.

“Now come on.” He pushed himself up, patting Chan on the back. “You need to study those vents. I want you knowing every inch of them before going in, alright? Jihoon will help you out.”

The youngest nodded yet again, getting off the bed as well.

“And take a shower, you stink.” Seungcheol snorted when his brother tried hitting him with a flying pillow, though he missed by an inch. Dino couldn’t care though. Finally, he had a mission.

 _Finally_ , he could make them proud.

 

——

 

_24 / 04 / 2016_

 

This was it, this was his time to shine. There they stood, Vernon and him on the bowling alley’s rooftop at 10AM, one hour after it opened. They had decided it was the best time to strike, no pun intended, given how the boss liked checking on the customers during the morning shift. Especially since every Thursday they hosted the Bowling for the Elder’s event, so that would keep him quite busy.

“You remember everything, right?” Seungcheol asked from the radio, while Chan checked all his supplies. It wasn’t much, one flashlight, his phone, a Swiss army knife for emergencies and a taser just in case; all inside his lean black backpack.

“Get in, go down the shaft, turn two lefts and one right and get into the room.” Chan adjusted the backpack to have it in front of him instead of on his back, to make the crawling around inside the vents deal a bit easier. “I’ll get as much product as I can carry in the bag and get out the same way I got in.”

“It’s gonna be easy, don’t worry about it. Just remember what we trained, okay?” Soonyoung’s voice sounded through his earbud, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a bit comforting.

Yeah, easy, he could do it. There wasn’t a lot that could go wrong, right? Jun was already with the guy, so if anything happened he’d have his back. Minghao and Mingyu were inside as customers too. Not to mention Vernon would keep a stake out by the vent exit. Plus, Seungcheol was monitoring him along with Woozi. It was almost too much security even, but Dino could still feel his heart racing. It was his first mission after all.

“You got the gloves on?” Jeonghan asked now.

“Yeah, everything ready.” Chan nodded more to himself than anyone else.

“Guys, he’s gotta move now if we wanna make it with time to spare.” Vernon warned them before placing a hand on the youngest’s shoulder, smiling brightly. “You’re gonna do great.”

Chan smiled back, maybe a bit less brightly and more unsure, but any words of encouragement helped at the moment. He nodded yet again, taking a deep breath and stretching his arms over his head.

“I’m ready, I’m going in.” He decided before they could stall any longer, turning now to the vent.

The rectangular pipe came off the roof floor and bent to the side at their height to face towards them. They were right, it was small, but that’s what Hoshi trained him for. With Hansol’s help, he climbed into the vents with his feet first, holding onto his friend for leverage. Once he was halfway in, he grabbed onto the edge for leverage before pushing himself back. The boy slid down, landing softly and thankfully without making much noise.

“I’m in.” He spoke lowly, yet he could almost hear at least three relieved sighs.

“Alright, I got the tracker on you just in case you get lost.” Jihoon notified him. They were really going all out.

Given he could barely see a thing, Chan turned on his flashlight before anything else, attaching it to the backpack strap on his shoulder. He then began crawling his way through the vents, slow and steady to try to keep the noises to a minimum.

Just like his training, he was counting the seconds in his head. They weren’t in a rush, their priority was not to be seen or heard. However, Hoshi had highlighted the importance of knowing how much time you needed to get out of anywhere, always.

“Dino, everything okay?” Jeonghan checked.

“He can’t talk right now, he’s focused.” Hoshi pointed out, to which Chan was somewhat grateful for.

“I know, I just wanted to check on him.” Jeonghan complained. “He hasn’t said anything since he got in.”

“If it’s quiet it means it’s going okay.” The thief reasoned.

“But what if he passed out? It’d still be quiet and not okay.” Now Seokmin so wisely butted in, despite his usual aversion to listening to missions. Chan would be touched at the exception his friend made for him if he wasn’t getting in the way of his concentration right now.

The youngest ignored them, trying not to lose count of the seconds as he turned left the second time. Just from this first experience though, he had no idea how any of them got anything done with rest constantly yapping in their ears.

“He’s not passed out.” Soonyoung answered. “…Right? Dino, you’re not passed out right?”

The youngest rolled his eyes now. Truly, how did they ever get anything done?

“Oh my God, he’s not answering–“ Now it was Soonyoung panicking, and Dino wondered if he was still actually the same guy that trained him. “Dino I’m coming!”

“Guys, shut up, he’s fine.” Jihoon stated, ever the voice of reason. “We’re keeping an eye on him, he’s moving through the pipes. Just let the kid do his thing.”

Chan mentally thanked him, now turning right and approaching his destination. He could see the vent screen now, crawling towards it. The room was pitch black, but he already expected that. There was no point in keeping the light on if no one was in it, after all.

He took out his Swiss army knife, using one of the bevelled ends to start unscrewing the screen open. He was able to grab the it before it fell to the ground, placing it on top of one of the shelves. As he slipped out of the vent, he held onto the bottom edge of it, flipping over himself carefully to land on his feet. Perfect.

“I’m in the room.” He whispered, now grabbing his flashlight to look around.

“Good job!” The youngest grinned at his brother’s praise, but he tried to stay focused. The job wasn’t done yet. “Okay, what do you see?”

“This guy’s loaded.” Dino mumbled, turning around in the small room to take a look at everything. It was basically shelves upon shelves of packed drugs and money piles. All neatly organized and labeled, a huge contrast from the way he ran the bowling alley. “I think there’s at least five different types of drugs here, you name it.”

“Okay, just grab what you can, but be careful.” Seungcheol’s tone was serious, professional, and it made Dino feel somehow even more responsible. “We don’t need much to plant it in the alley. Focus on the product, we can get the money later.”

The drugs almost looked like bricks from how tightly packed they were, which made it somewhat easier for Dino to slip them into his bag, careful to make room for everything. He moved the army knife to his pocket, making sure it wouldn’t cut anything open. The plan was to set the guy up by staging a transaction and planting the drugs behind the lanes. That would at least get him contained. Once the police got the place shut down, they could find another way to the money.

“Alright, I think I got it all.” The boy closed the bag once again, now using the shelves to climb his way back up into the vent that came out from one of the side walls.

“Then get out of there.” Jeonghan put it simply, yet Dino couldn’t agree more.

It took a bit of flexibility, but the boy managed to enter the pipe again feet first by climbing on the shelves, pushing himself backwards. Before he began crawling back, he took the screen once again to screw it back into place.

“I’m back in the pipes.” He whispered, just to keep them posted.

From there, it wasn’t hard to make his way back. Sure, he had to move backwards, but it wasn’t like he needed to see where he was going anymore, he had it memorized. As he approached the exit though, he could hear Hansol speaking to someone over the intercom.

“Ah, yeah, I’m just cleaning the vents, you know?” The American chuckled.

Dino raised a brow, shifting and pushing himself up so he could try to see what was going on. Yet before he could peek his head out to see who was there, a dirty brook hit him in the face. Repeatedly.

“Ow– What– Vernon–!” The boy whispered between hits, falling back down with a thud and a dirty face. What the hell?

“What was that?” He could overhear someone else’s voice from outside. Shit.

“Dino, stay in. Someone’s outside.” Jihoon informed him now, though he wanted to point out that could’ve used that information earlier. Perhaps before getting hit in the face by a broom. Instead, he waited as quietly as possible.

“Ah, nothing, probably something the kids stuck in the vents. I saw a couple of brats hanging around here at closing time, you know?” Vernon made a disapproving noise, and it seemed like the guy was buying it. Thankfully, Hansol had it under control. Trust him to talk his way out of basically anything.

“Brats? What are you, forty?” Wonwoo snickered, though Hansol just chose to ignore him.

“Whatever, just get it done already. We need a clean up on lane 3. Someone spilled something and we don’t need some grandma slipping and breaking a hip.” The guy put it bluntly.

“Yeah yeah, of course.” Hansol let out a soft laugh, clearly trying to keep the mood light.

“Alright, coast’s clear. Come on up.” He announced after a moment and Dino sighed in relief, not having realized how fast his heart was beating.

Swiftly, he climbed back up, getting out of the vent with his friend’s help once again. Once out though, he first thing he did get the broom from said friend’s hands to hit him with it, repeatedly.

“Yah, you wanna give me a concussion or something?” The youngest frowned.

“What? I had to sell it!” Vernon whined, shielding himself with his arms. “You think he’d have believed me if I didn’t use the broom?”

“You didn’t need me to hit me in the face!” Dino complained, though soon Seungcheol was cutting them off.

“Guys, focus, do we have everything?” Dino took off his backpack then, opening it in front of Hansol. The other’s eyes widened as he peeked inside.

“Fuck, yeah, we have everything we need.” The older smiled widely, patting Chan on the back. “Good job.” The youngest could only smile back at the praise.

“Alright, then get out of there already. Jeonghan’s waiting in the car.” The leader ordered, and Chan didn’t think twice before closing the bag up again and making his way down the side of the roof.

“And Dino?” His brother called as he headed to the car.

“Yeah?”

“I’m proud of you.”

 

——

 

“Hey, you were looking for me?” Mingyu asked as he entered Jihoon’s office.

“Yeah yeah, come in.” The hacker didn’t even spare him a look as the taller stood behind him. “Grab a chair, I wanna show you something.”

“You know I was in the living room the whole time right?” Mingyu pointed out as he grabbed a chair, sitting down next to the other. “Like, if you’d actually left this room you would’ve seen me. You didn’t need to send Soonyoung-hyung over.”

“Yes, but it’s easier to send him.” Jihoon pointed out, typing things Mingyu didn’t even bother trying to figure out. Wonwoo tried teaching him once, but they both had decided it was best to keep him away from any expensive technology. “Soonyoung was bothering me and I needed you here. Two birds, one stone.”

“You have too much power.” Mingyu snickered.

“Good thing I’m not evil, then.” Jihoon pointed out, though the younger only chuckled.

“I don’t know, I still have my doubts about that.” The younger replied.

“What are you talking about? I’m like the nicest guy here.” He frowned a bit, keeping his eyes on the screen.

“What about Seokmin?” Mingyu raised a brow.

“I stand by my theory that Seokmin is not human. Most likely an alien or a furby who managed to find a human host.” The hacker grumbled.

“Whatever, hyung. Just saying, there’s a reason you don’t have a guitar anymore.” He pointed out.

“Because I broke it.” Jihoon defended.

“Yeah, on me!” The younger whined, though he was soon shushed.

“Just shut up and look at the screen.” Jihoon continued typing away, though all Mingyu could see now was the inside of a coffee shop and some people who he assumed were customers. 

“What? What am I looking at?” He raised a brow, looking back at his friend.

“Just keep looking.” Jihoon pushed his face towards the screen again. And this time someone showed up. A young guy with a green apron. The video definition wasn’t great, so Mingyu leaned in, squinting his eyes a bit. That face…

“Samuel?” The taller blinked, pulling back with wide eyes, those fleeting between the screen and Jihoon.

The older only nodded, now just staring at the screen as well. Mingyu didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t seen the boy in what felt like ages, but it had only been what? A bit more than a year, maybe. Yet there he was. He had grown, his face had changed a bit too, but he was still smiling. And he was right there in front of them.

“How did you… Where did you get this?” ‘Why’ was a better question, but he left it implicit.

“Cheol asked me to look him up a couple of months after he left.” The hacker answered. “We’ve been tracking him ever since. Well, tracking is a harsh word, but you get what I mean.”

Mingyu blinked again, looking back at the video. “You were watching over him.”

Jihoon simply hummed. Sometimes his friend’s kindness took him by surprise, though he didn’t know why. They all knew his grouchiness was just a front.

“Who else knows?” Mingyu wondered, though he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen now.

“Just the hyungs and Dino. And well, now, you.” Jihoon leaned back into his chair, watching the young boy as well. “We thought about telling everyone, but we weren’t sure if it’d do more damage than good.” He explained. “Plus, gotta give the kid some privacy. It’s safer for him too, you know. Staying away.”

Mingyu nodded, watching as their friend took another order. People clearly liked him, as always. “So why me?”

Jihoon shrugged. “I didn’t realize how much you missed him.” The older admitted. “I mean, we all do. But Jeonghan told me about your talk, and just.. I get it, you know? You two were always close. Ah…” The hacker groaned. “Don’t make me get sappy.”

Mingyu chuckled lightly, patting his friend’s shoulder. “It’s alright, thanks hyung.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Jihoon mumbled.

“So, he’s working at Starbucks?” Mingyu changed the subject then. It wasn’t that bad, right? An honest job, and he looked happy.

“Yeah, but only part time.” Jihoon explained. “He had a bit of a rough time at first, seemed kinda lost. But then school started again and he seemed to figure his shit out. Doing pretty well at it too. I mean, with his grades, it’s gonna be easy to get into any college.

“You really looked into him, huh?” Mingyu raised a brow, glancing at Jihoon. He wasn’t actually sure what he meant with “rough time”, his heart aching a bit for the young boy.

“I get bored.” The hacker shrugged, though it was only another part of his front, Mingyu could tell.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side.” The younger snickered.

“Too late.” Jihoon smirked.

“Hyung!” Mingyu whined yet again, earning a smack to the shoulder.

“The _point_ is,” Jihoon continued. “He’s doing good.”

Mingyu hummed, looking back at the screen. He never had a doubt that he would. Samuel was smart, talented, and just simply likable. Yet it still filled him with comfort to see the kid was doing well. He needed that.

“People seem to like him.” Mingyu smiled warmly, watching the video.

“Of course they do, he’s more charming that a damn puppy.” Jihoon snickered. “One of these days he spilled coffee on a customer and _she_ apologized to _him_.”

Mingyu laughed then, leaning back on his chair now as well. “Kid’s going places.”

“You sound older than Seungcheol when you talk like that.” Jihoon smirked.

“Shut up.” Mingyu nudged him, though he focused more on the screen as he also leaned back on his chair. Perhaps it was a bit creepy, watching their friends over a hacked video feed, but to him it felt normal. Maybe not normal, but nostalgic. Even if they couldn’t see Samuel everyday anymore, he knew now that he was happy. And honestly, that was all he needed to know.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for everyone who's read/commented/left kudos! It really means a lot and I can't thank you enough.
> 
> I admit the vents scene is not my favorite, but it was the best way I found of writing it. Part of me felt like I shouldn't post until I was 100% sure of it, but I also believe that I'm learning, and not everything I write I'll love right away. This is just me trying to improve myself bit by bit, I guess. If anyone has any suggestions tho, feel free to tell me ~~
> 
> Also if you find any typos, please don't be afraid to tell me. I read these things a bunch of times before posting, but something always slips by. So if you'll be helping me a lot by letting me know!


	5. In your small eyes, I’m probably still a kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No offense, but I’d rather room with you two than to sacrifice my sleep in a room with Soonyoung and Dino.”
> 
> “But we could have slumber parties!” Soonyoung exclamed, pouting a bit at his friend’s decision.
> 
> “You’re only proving my point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a lighter chapter this time since the last two were a bit emotional-
> 
> I realize this chapter is focused mostly on just two characters, but as usual it was hard deciding on which scenes to post, and I felt like it was fair to give a bit of background to those two.
> 
> Please let me know what you think though ^^

 

_2008_

 

“I’m just saying, if you got a dog we could train it to walk us back from school.” Soonyoung reasoned as he followed Jihoon into his bedroom, dropping his backpack on the floor before throwing himself on the bed.

“For the hundredth time, I’m not getting a dog.” The shorter boy rolled his eyes, getting the backpack and hanging it up behind the door along with his. “I already have you for that.” Jihoon snickered at Soonyoung’s pout.

Almost everyday after class, Soonyoung would walk Jihoon home and hang out for a while. He’d even sleep over more often than not, almost like an unspoken deal. Soonyoung didn’t like going home, and he knew Jihoon didn’t like staying home alone, so it worked out for the both of them

“Okay, I’ll admit I am as adorable as a dog, but I’m much smarter.” Soonyoung pointed out, sitting up and crossing his legs. All jokes aside though, he did think a pet would be a good companion for the other. Maybe his parents wouldn’t like it, but they were never around anyway, so why would they care?

“I wouldn’t say _much_.” Soonyoung glared at his friend once more, but didn’t take it to heart. He only watched as Jihoon sat in front of his computer, which was on the desk next to the bed.

“What are you doing?” The taller stretched his neck a bit, looking at the screen from where he still sat on the bed.

“Taking your tardiness off the school record.” Soonyoung blinked a couple of times. Yes, he may have had joked about that. Jihoon was a little computer genius after all, and he had hacked into the school’s records once before, if only to change the cafeteria menu. But Soonyoung didn’t expect him to go through with it.

“You know I was kidding, right?” Soonyoung chuckled. “It’s fine, I was only late. It’s not like I was absent.”

“Yeah, but it still goes on your record.” Jihoon reasoned. “And you were only late because those jocks were being jerks. You shouldn’t have been marked for it.” He added, and Soonyoung couldn’t help but smile a bit at that.

“Still, if you get caught you’ll get in trouble.” He raised a brow, grabbing a pillow to hold against his stomach.

“I won’t get caught. I’m a genius, remember?” Soonyoung snickered at his friend’s cockiness, using the same pillow to hit him with it.

“Fine, whatever. But if they come after me I’m ratting you out for bail.” He teased.

“Yah, they’re not finding out.” Jihoon insisted with a chuckle. “Even if they do, what are they gonna do, tell my parents? At least they’ll have a reason to talk to me then.”

The temperature suddenly dropped 10 degrees in the room as Soonyoung felt the cold seeping into his skin. He had never met Jihoon’s parents, not properly. They had been introduced, but the most they had exchanged were a few hi’s and goodbye’s. Yet still, Soonyoung hated them. Perhaps hate was a strong word, but he did wish he could grab them by the shoulders and shake some sense into them.

“Jihoon-ah…” Said boy turned his head to the right to look at him, only then realizing the weight of his words.

“I’m fine, Soon.” He chuckled, looking back at the computer screen. “It was just a joke.”

“I know, I know.” Soonyoung nodded lightly, smiling a bit. He knew it was more than a joke, but given his friend never pried into his own business, it didn’t seem fair to meddle into his either. Even if he also knew that the chances of Jihoon bringing up his own problems were close to none.

He had known the boy since they were eleven, announcing himself his friend already on the first day of school. Three years of friendship may not seem like much, but for them it was special. It wasn’t like Soonyoung hadn’t had any other friends, but most of them ended up leaving, moving, or simply losing touch. Jihoon was the only one who had always stayed by his side. He could seem grumpy, cold, or even boring to others, yet that’s just because they never bothered getting to know him well enough to see how much he cares. There was a reason he was so closed off, and Soonyoung never saw that part of his personality as a flaw.

“You having another recital?” Soonyoung tried changing the subject instead.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” Jihoon raised a brow, though he kept looking at the computer.

“I saw the invitation on the table next to the door.” He spotted the piano recital flyer when he walked into the house and accidentally knocked his toe against the table. He still thought it was a terrible spot for a table.

“Huh.” Jihoon mumbled, his expression falling a bit. “It’s still there?”

Soonyoung frowned slightly. “When’d you put it there?”

“Friday.” He answered, his expression now returning to it’s default blank state.

“Friday as in last week?” Soonyoung’s frown deepened as he sat up a bit more.

“No, Friday as in tomorrow.” Jihoon’s reply dripped with sarcasm, but Soonyoung didn’t focus on that. What he focused on was the fact that the invitation had been sitting there for almost a week and his parents hadn’t even bothered picking it up. Hate was a strong word, but right now he really couldn’t find other words to describe his feelings.

“When is it?” He asked, once again trying to avoid the problematic subject.

“Uh?” Jihoon blinked, glancing back at the taller. “Tuesday night. At 7, I think? Not sure, gotta check the invitation.”

“Can I come?” Soonyoung smiled brightly.

Jihoon raised a brow. “Not if it’s out of pity.”

“It’s not!” Soonyoung complained, frowning. It really wasn’t. “You know I like hearing you play. Plus, if you win, we can go get ice cream.” He grinned then, bouncing a bit on the bed.

“It’s a recital, not a competition.” Jihoon snickered. “There’s nothing to win.”

“Then we can get ice cream for the fact you didn’t lose.” Jihoon laughed now, and Soonyoung felt the room warming up again.

“Fine, whatever.” The shorter gave in. “Just dress nicely and don’t be late.”

“I’m never late!” Soonyoung argued, though his claim fell short when Jihoon simply looked between him and the record on his computer screen. “You said it yourself that wasn’t my fault.” He grumbled, causing Jihoon to chuckle.

“Don’t worry, it’s off your record already.” Jihoon smiled, closing the tab. “Wanna play something?”

Soonyoung nodded, pushing himself off the bed now and stretching his arms to the side. “Loser picks the dinner?”

“Deal.” Jihoon agreed, sliding away from the desk before getting off the chair. “Hope you’re in the mood for pizza.”

And to no one’s surprise, they had pizza that night.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 08 / 2016_

 

He wasn’t sure how they had all ended up living together. It wasn’t a requirement, though it did make their job much easier. Even as he tried to pinpoint where it all began, he couldn’t really fetch one specific memory.

It just started with the four of them; Dino, Soonyoung, Jihoon and him. They weren’t even a group yet, just friends who wanted to move out from their homes and found out that sharing the rent was the most practical solution. The place was the perfect size for them, but when Jeonghan showed up at their home with his fair skin tainted in purples, they opened the door and never asked questions. When Wonwoo needed to hide out for a while, they let him stay and never pushed him out. And when Mingyu followed and offered his home skills, well, they couldn’t really say no to that.

One by one, either by convenience or lack of other options, they moved into their home. And it was great, Seungcheol wouldn’t have it any other way, but the two bedroom house that was once more than enough was now definitely too crowded.

“Okay, so we need to decide on the rooms.” The group gathered around the coffee table as they always did, sitting either on the floor or on old cushions. On the wooden surface they had a simple blueprint of the new apartment they had picked. It was nice, much bigger than their current place, but they’d still have to share rooms. They made quite a bit of money, sure, but it’d be foolish to spend it all on a home. They had other priorities too.

“There are three suites, so three bedrooms and three bathrooms.” Jeonghan continued, pointing at them with a metal rod. “There’s also a bathroom by the entrance, but it’s only got a toilet. So it’s more like a guest thing.”

“We never have guests.” Mingyu pointed out.

“Yeah but we can’t exactly change the bathroom, genius. This isn’t The Sims.” Minghao replied to the boy next to him, who only stuck his tongue out at the other.

“We can leave the bathroom as it is. It’s always good to have an extra one.” Seokmin nodded, as if they were words of wisdom.

“What about that room over there?” Seungkwan pointed to a room adjacent to the living room. “Can’t that be a bedroom?”

“It could, but we’re leaving that for Jihoon’s gear.” Seungcheol explained, instantly noticing the smirk on his friend’s face. “He’ll need an office, and it’s only fair he gets a bigger one than the one he has now.”

“But it’s almost as big as that bedroom!” Seungkwan whined.

“Well, my computers are more important than your sleep.” Jihoon grinned.

“Plus, he’ll be sharing it with Wonwoo.” The leader added, watching as Jihoon’s eyes widened like a cartoon’s.

“What?!”

“Yes!” Wonwoo exclamed.

“But it’s _my_ office!” Jihoon complained.

“Yeah, but Wonwoo’s got his gear too, so he’s keeping it in yours.” Seungcheol had already thought that over, there wasn’t really a point in discussing it.

“What about that room over there?” Jihoon pointed to the small room next to the kitchen.

“That’s the laundry room.” Jeonghan pointed out. “So unless you wanna wash your clothes in the shower, it’s staying there.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Seungcheol cleared his throat, trying to get their focus back. “We need to decide on how to share the rooms. Due to size, it should be basically groups of three, four and six. So Jeonghan, Joshua and I–“

“Nope! No way.” Mingyu shook his head quickly. “You three are _not_ getting a room for yourselves.”

“Why not?” Jisoo blinked, said three now looking at each other.

“Because the walls look thin and I want to stay ignorant to what you do in the bedroom.” The younger pointed out, and Seungcheol could feel his cheeks warming up.

“What makes you think we’ll keep it in the bedroom?” Jeonghan smirked, and soon a compilations of groans and gagging noises followed.

“Yah, Yoon Jeonghan!” Seungcheol felt his cheeks burning now as he looked at his friend in disbelief.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Jeonghan chuckled before raising a brow. “Or am I?”

“ _Hyung!_ ” Dino whined, his face scrunching up in what Seungcheol could only guess was disgust.

“Just–“ Seungcheol paused to take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine, we can be in a different room.”

“But no one’s gonna wanna be in the same room as you three.” Wonwoo reasoned. “Not after that.”

“I can stay in the small room with Seungkwannie and Seokmin.” Joshua suggested then, and as Seongcheol looked at him again he barely looked embarrassed. He wasn’t sure if he had become immune to Jeonghan’s teasing, or if he was just as bad as the other. Seungcheol was leaning towards the second option. “I mean we all got weird shifts and the two of them share some classes. It’s gonna be better for you guys if we stay in the same room, that way we don’t risk waking anybody up.”

“Yeah, I’m okay with that.” Seokmin smiled, though Seungcheol was sure the boy would be okay with sleeping in the kitchen if they asked him.

“Me too.” Seungkwan nodded.

“Alright then,” The leader grabbed a pencil, writing down the three names in the smallest bedroom. “One room’s done.”

“I wanna stay with Chan!” Soonyoung raised his hand as he announced, leaning to his right and hugging said boy. In contrast, Dino didn’t seem as enthusiastic. “I need to enjoy our time together before he gets to puberty and thinks he’s too cool for me.”

“I’m already too cool for you.” Chan mumbled, though Soonyoung heard him nonetheless.

“Oh no, it’s starting!” Soonyoung sobbed dramatically, now clinging to the youngest.

“Fine, fine, you two can be together.” Seongcheol actually preferred that. The two got along well, and Soonyoung could keep Dino in line.

“Mingyu and I wanna room together.” Minghao said.

“No!” A choir of eleven followed.

“We want the apartment to survive for at least a year, thank you very much.” Seungkwan pointed out. “We don’t need that room to become a war zone.”

“Soonyoung and Dino can stay with us, and then someone else plus Mingyu or Hao.” Jeonghan suggested.

“No!” It was Chan who now refused. “I know you and you’re gonna want to tuck me into bed and shit.”

“ _Language_.” Jisoo warned, though his tone was so soft Seungcheol wondered if he even bothered anymore or if it was just reflex.

“But you’re my baby!” Jeonghan complained.

“Hyung!” Chan begged Seungcheol with his eyes.

“Yeah yeah, you and Hoshi can stay in another room.” Seungcheol chuckled, figuring he didn’t want to torture his brother too much.

“I want to room with Cheol and Jeonghan then.” Jihoon announced. “No offense, but I’d rather room with you two than to sacrifice my sleep in a room with Soonyoung and Dino.”

“But we could have slumber parties!” Soonyoung exclamed, pouting a bit at his friend’s decision.

“You’re only proving my point.” Jihoon frowned.

“And it’s a good point, I wanna be with the hyungs.” Mingyu decided. “And I can’t room with Hansol.” He looked at the younger then, who didn’t seem upset, just confused. “Sorry dude, but if I have to pick your underwear off the floor one more time I’m throwing it out the window.”

Hansol only chuckled, shrugging. “That’s fine, I can stay with Chan.”

“Alright alright, I’m writing it down.” Seongcheol leaned over the table a bit more. “Hannie, Jihoon, Mingyu and I can have this room, since we’re already four. And Hoshi, Dino, Hansol, Minghao, Jun and Wonwoo can have the bigger room.” The leader put the pencil down to look at the last two he mentioned, who had barely said a word. “You okay with that?”

“I’m okay with whatever.” Jun grinned, and Seongcheol was barely surprised.

“Same, at least I can make sure Soonyoung doesn’t drive anyone insane.” Wonwoo snickered, receiving a glare from his friend.

“Fine, then it’s settled.” He decided, tapping the table twice. “Monday we start moving.”

 

 

——

 

 

His height was never something that bothered him. Even if he knew some guys just had a late growth spurt, Jihoon didn’t have any insecurities about being short. Perhaps it was a bit inconvenient sometimes, but it was one of the last things about himself that worried him. Not to say he didn’t have insecurities, they just tended to be more about his personality than his looks.

However, he had to admit he wished he could be a little taller right now, because jumping on your tippy toes to try to get back the library book an idiot stole from you wasn’t exactly dignifying. Damn his height.

“Look at him, it’s like he’s a little hobbit!” The two neanderthals laughed as who Jihoon assumed was the leader kept dangling the book above his head.

“Pretty smart comment from someone who probably never read The Lord of the Rings.” Jihoon huffed, straightening his clothes a bit. “Bet even The Hobbit was too big for you.”

“You little–“ The guy grit his teeth, grabbing Jihoon’s uniform jacket to push him up against the lockers behind him. “Do you know who I am?”

“Honestly? Not sure.” The shorter admitted. “Keep getting you two mixed up. Are you Tweedledee or Tweedledum?”

Okay, as funny as the outraged look on the guy’s face was, Jihoon had to admit that wasn’t a good idea. The boy grunted as he was pulled forth only to be pushed against the lockers again with a thud.

“Oh, and you’re such a genius, marking us down for detention.” Jihoon’s eyes widened a bit. “Yeah, we know it was you. We don’t know how you did it, but you’re the only idiot around here who even gives a shit about that Soonyoung kid.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jihoon lied through his teeth. Yes, maybe he had given them detention when he lifted Soonyoung’s absence, but he didn’t think they’d be smart enough to find out. “Maybe you wouldn’t get detention if you stopped bothering people and actually tried studying.” Yet again, bad idea. Clearly he never learned.

“Jihoon-ah!” He looked to the right, the other two following his gaze as Soonyoung came running. Shit.

“He really is like a herpes huh? Can’t shake him off.” Tweedledee, as Jihoon nicknamed him, laughed, letting him go.

“Come on Jihoonie, let’s just go.” Soonyoung helped him up, avoiding the other two. Jihoon didn’t want to go, he wanted to punch their teeth in for what they said about his friend and he wanted to get his book back. But he knew Soonyoung hated confrontations, and he figured they wouldn’t really stand a chance against the two.

“Yeah, okay.” He mumbled, dusting himself off a bit. “But they got our book.”

“Guys, can you give the book back?” Soonyoung was serious as he faced them, reaching out for said book. He only got his hand slapped away though.

“Nah, I think I’ll keep it. He said it himself I should do a little reading.” The taller boy snickered.

“Seriously, it’s not his, we’re just borrowing it for a project. Give it back.” Soonyoung frowned.

“Or what? Gonna whine to the principal, crybaby?” He smirked.

Soonyoung didn’t whine to the principal, no. Instead, he reached out for the book a bit more forcefully, grabbing the book and shoving Tweddledee back so he’d let go. And he did let go when he fell back, though Tweedledum wasn’t that happy. The chubbier boy shoved Soonyoung strongly, his back making a loud noise against the lockers before he fell on his ass.

What happened next went a bit too fast for Jihoon to recall properly. Before he realized, his knuckles were hitting the guy on the cheek, and maybe something gave in under his fist, but he didn’t have time to think about it before he was grabbed by idiot number one. And okay, again, he admitted it was a terrible idea. He’d now get punched in the face and probably get the ass kicking of his life along with his best friend, but he just hadn’t thought about it. He saw Soonyoung get hurt and he didn’t even think.

As Jihoon closed his eyes, preparing himself for the fist that was aimed towards his jaw, a loud voice echoed through the corridor.

“Hey!” By what seemed like a miracle, the hand never hit him, and Jihoon slowly opened his eyes to look at the reason.

He didn’t remember the name of the guy coming his way. Seung-something, if he wasn’t wrong. Honestly, Jihoon didn’t know much about him. He had joined their class out of nowhere, despite being an year older. All kinds of talks surrounded him, most not of the good kind, but no one knew who he really was. Regardless of that, Jihoon was pretty glad the guy had shown up when he did.

“Let him go.” His voice was firm and low and Jihoon could see why he had a bit of a reputation. Despite lowering his hand, Tweedledee didn’t let go.

“I said, let him _go_.” The guy almost spat out, grabbing the bully by his sleeve and pulling the hand back himself.

Jihoon was able to help Soonyoung back up now, both of them looking at the other two with wide eyes. It was like a game of power. The bully was clearly scared shitless by the one who showed up, but he also couldn’t just let a new guy think he could do whatever he wished.

On the other hand, their savior didn’t look like he was playing around. If anything, Jihoon wouldn’t be surprised if lasers came out of his eyes at that moment. It was all down to who would throw the first punch, and despite not being a big fan of fighting either, he owed to the guy to at least side with him.

Fortunatelly though, that wouldn’t be necessary.

“What is going on here?” All their heads turned as a teacher spotted them. Jihoon felt both relief and regret flushing over him at the same time, making his stomach turn. “You five, principal’s office, _now_.” And the five followed without another word, Jihoon forgetting to ask for the boy’s name.

 

 

——

 

 

Seungcheol was his name, Jihoon found out in the principal’s office. The five of them had been split up. The two idiots had been sent to the infirmary on account of Jihoon having apparently knocked Tweedledum’s front tooth out, leaving the other three to explain themselves. Jihoon figured it was probably better to tell their version of the story first anyway, since he was sure the other two would lie through their teeth. Or what was left of them.

However, his retelling of the story was perhaps a bit warped. He didn’t let the other two speak before taking all the blame for it. He told them he was being bullied for the book, and he got mad and punched the guy’s face. Soonyoung and Seungcheol only showed up later and helped split up the fight.

It was a lie, a blatant lie, but Jihoon was a good liar. He knew Soonyoung would complain, so he shut him up by squeezing his arm before he could utter a word. Seungcheol looked surprised too, but he was smart enough to go with it, and they were released in less than half an hour, being told to just go home for the rest of the day.

One week of detention, that’s what Jihoon got. If you asked him, it was a pretty good deal. His perfect grades and usual good behavior clearly worked in his favor. Perhaps he would’ve gotten less time if he had told the truth, but that wasn’t an option. He punched the guy, Soonyoung shouldn’t get in trouble. Especially when he knew the boy’s father was far more strict than his about these things. Or anything, really. And regarding Seungcheol, well, the guy had saved them. It was the least he could do.

“Why did you do that?” Seungcheol finally spoke as they left the principal’s office. Not ‘you shouldn’t have done it’, or ‘that was wrong’. He just wanted to know why, and Jihoon was glad. The last thing he needed was to be judged for helping.

“Least I could do, you helped us out.” Jihoon shrugged, slipping his hands into his jacket’s pockets. “Plus, you already got a bad rep, didn’t seem fair to add to it.”

Jihoon regretted his words the minute he saw Seungcheol’s frown. He didn’t have a lot of tact when it came to these things.

“Sorry, didn’t mean it like that.” He apologized. “Just like, there’s enough gossip going around as it is. You don’t deserve that.” Hopefully that sounded better.

“So you don’t believe them?” Seungcheol raised a brow, looking at the two.

“Nah. I mean, I couldn’t care less where you came from, but as far as I’m concerned, you helped us.” He pointed out. “You’re a pretty great guy by my books.”

“Great? You’re super cool!” Soonyoung exclamed, looking at the older.

“Cool?” The boy blinked.

“Yeah! The way you were all ‘ _Let him go_ ’,” Soonyoung frowned and lowered his voice, trying to mimic the other. “Like some Terminator shit. It was so cool.” Seungcheol grinned at Soonyoung’s words, and he looked like a completely different person. Like the Terminator had suddenly turned into a teddy bear.

“I don’t know about Terminator, but you really helped us out.” Jihoon smiled as well, nodding at the elder. “Thanks.”

“No need to thank me, those guys seemed like jerks.” Seungcheol snickered, shaking his head lightly.

“Well, that they certainly are. But you didn’t have to do that, so thanks.” Because a lot of people didn’t do that. A lot of people just walked by and pretended not to see anything, Jihoon knew that from experience.

“Hey, do you wanna play Fifa with us?” Soonyoung blinked, looking at the two. Clearly, he was inviting Seungcheol not to his house, but to Jihoon’s. Not that it bothered him.

“What?” The older asked, looking back and forth between the two.

“We’re going to my place to play Fifa after class.” Jihoon left out the fact that that’s what they did practically everyday.

“And you want me to come?” Seungcheol raised a brow, and Jihoon wondered how many times he got an invitation like that. Apparently, not often.

“Yeah!” Soonyoung smiled brightly, his eyes squeezing into angled lines.

“If you want to.” Jihoon added.

“Well, I do, but,” Seungcheol seemed to be on the fence, rubbing the back of his neck. “I gotta walk my brother home.”

“He can join us if he wants.” Jihoon shrugged. Certainly the kid couldn’t be bad.

“Really?” Seungcheol’s eyes widened a bit, and he really did look less threatening by the second.

“Yeah, that way we can play in teams.” Soonyoung nodded, apparently the most excited of the three.

“Well, alright then.” Seungcheol chuckled, looking around a bit. “His class isn’t over, though.” Which made sense, given they still had about half an hour before the last period was over.

“S’fine, we’ll wait with you.” Jihoon shrugged and Soonyoung nodded, all three starting to fall into step before they got scolded by another teacher.

Soonyoung always walked Jihoon home from school, though he never imagined they’d have a few more friends joining their tradition as well. Oddly enough, he wasn’t bothered by it.

 

 

——

 

 

“We need to talk.” Soonyoung announced as he barged into his office, though Jihoon didn’t really bother looking.

“Oh no, are you breaking up with me?” Jihoon drawled out as he kept looking at the series of numbers on his computer screen.

“Ha ha. That wasn’t funny the first time, let alone the third.” Jihoon snickered nonetheless, watching his friend jump onto one of the spare chairs and rolling up next to him.

“You’re right, if we were dating I’d probably be the one breaking up with you.” He teased, earning a slap to the shoulder. Eh, it was worth it.

“I’m serious! I’m upset with you.” Soonyoung complained, and now Jihoon turned his attention, and his chair, to his friend.

Jihoon was terrible at reading people. Even by staring at Soonyoung with his feet up on the desk and leaning back against his chair with a frown, Jihoon wouldn’t have guessed he was bothered. Yet thankfully, Soonyoung was aware of that. That’s why he had no qualms with telling him how he felt, and why they worked so well together. Soonyoung read Jihoon like an open book, and in return made himself transparent to him. That’s what years of friendship did to them.

So if Soonyoung said he was upset, he was upset.

“Alright, what did I do?” Jihoon asked, pulling one of his feet up on the chair and leaning his bent leg against the arm rest.

“Why didn’t you want to stay in the same room as me?” Soonyoung whined, and okay, maybe he wasn’t too upset. He was honest, but also a bit dramatic at times.

“I told you, you guys are noisy.” Jihoon pointed out, raising a brow.

“I’ve been noisy all my life Jihoon, and it never stopped our slumber parties.” The other protested, crossing his arms.

“You know, people stop calling them slumber parties after they reach 20.” He snickered.

“Stop avoiding the subject.” Soonyoung frowned before his features softened. “Are you angry at me or something?”

Jihoon blinked at that, wondering if he ever came off as angry. “No, why would I be?”

“Do you mean it?” His friend narrowed his eyes, as if inspecting his face for the truth.

“Yes, Soon.” Jihoon chuckled. “I’m not mad at you, I promise.”

“Alright, alright.” Soonyoung raised his hands, as if retracting his previous statement. “Then why didn’t you wanna room with me?”

“I told you.” He grumbled, frowning now.

“I’m not buying the noise thing.” Soonyoung sighed, pulling his feet back from the desk to sit up. He turned a bit more on his chair to face the hacker better, leaning over to rest his elbows on his knees while clasping his hands together. “Come on, Jihoonie, just tell me.”

Jihoon licked his lips, looking away. He was glad Soonyoung understood him better than anyone else, but sometimes it was a bit annoying. “I knew Jun would end up rooming with you two.”

“What?” Soonyoung blinked now, sitting up straight. “So… You’re avoiding Jun?”

Jihoon shook his head lightly. “I just don’t wanna room with him.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” His friend nodded a bit, and Jihoon could see he was trying to figure out what it meant. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure himself. “Did he do anything to you?”

“What? No.” The hacker sighed, leaning back a bit. “It’s Jun. He doesn’t do anything to anyone.” Well, to none of them, at least.

“Then why not him out of everyone?” Soonyoung wondered. “You know I’m not judging you, but you don’t seem to have a problem rooming with anyone else.”

He had a point. Jihoon hated when he had a point.

“I don’t have a problem, I just…” Jihoon cracked his knuckled a bit, looking around. “Jun’s… Weird– Okay, no, wait, I sound like a dick.”

“You’d be surprised how often that happens.” Soonyoung snorted.

“ _What I meant was_ ,” Jihoon continued, ignoring his friend. “I can’t… Figure him out.” They were the same age, that should make it easier, but it helped with nothing. Soonyoung he knew like the back of his hand. Wonwoo was simple, he was easy, Jihoon liked easy. But Jun was… He didn’t know what Jun was, and it scared him a bit.

“Okay…” Soonyoung nodded a bit, wetting his lips. “I get that, Jun’s pretty unique.”

“Yeah.” Jihoon sighed, glad Soonyoung understood, even if just a bit. “He’s.. I don’t know how to act around him. I can’t tell when he’s being serious or not, it’s like he’s always happy.” And he knew that wasn’t true, because no one was always happy. Not even Seokmin. “I don’t even know if he likes me.”

“Of course he likes you.” Soonyoung frowned a bit.

“Okay, I know he doesn’t hate me, but like I told you, I can’t tell.” Jihoon explained. “Like when he gets all clingy, is it for real? Is he just teasing? I know when you guys are playing around, but I can’t tell when it’s him.” He gestured as he went on, the wheels turning in his head. “And when I’m rude to him, how do I know if he knows I don’t mean it? I don’t know. He could hate me and I’d have no idea.”

Soonyoung hummed then, and even when Jihoon looked away he could feel his eyes on him. He didn’t like talking about feelings, and he especially didn’t like it when said feelings involved someone else in the group. He felt like he was making a big deal out of nothing. Jun was their friend, his friend, he knew that much and that was enough. So why did he feel so confused by the other?

“It sounds to me like you’re more worried about how he feels about you than the other way around.” Soonyoung finally spoke, snapping Jihoon out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“What I mean is it sounds like you’re more afraid of the possibility of hurting him than of him hurting you.” Soonyoung put it simply, and Jihoon had no idea how he got to that conclusion. He’d be lying if he said it was completely untrue, though.

“Jun might be odd, but maybe the reason things are awkward between you two is you, and not him.” Soonyoung added.

“Gee, thanks.” Jihoon’s brows formed a straight line as he glared at his friend.

“I don’t mean it like that!” Soonyoung chuckled lightly. “I’m just saying, Jun’s got a lot of layers, but he’s pretty straight forward too. He won’t do anything just to please anyone else. If he does, it’s because he wants to.”

“If you say so.” Jihoon mumbled.

“I _know_ so.” He assured him. “And you should give him more credit, too. Jun’s not stupid.”

“I never said that.” The shorted frowned.

“I know, but you act like it.” Soonyoung pointed out. “He knows you better than you think, you know? You might be afraid to upset him, but Jun knows when you’re being serious or not. He’s not a kid, he’s not stupid, and you’re not that complicated either.” He smiled softly, reaching out to ruffle the other’s hair, only to get his hand slapped away.

“Fine, fine, I get it.” Jihoon sighed. “I think I get it. I’ll try not to overthink it so much anymore.”

“Good.” Soonyoung grinned, slapping his own knees. “It wouldn’t hurt you if you let him in a bit more too, you know?” He suggested, pushing himself up. “You might find out there’s a reason for all those feelings.”

Jihoon raised a brow, looking up at his friend. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“God, for a genius, you’re pretty dumb sometimes, you know?” Soonyoung grinned, dodging a kick just in time.

“Yah, where are you going?” Jihoon asked as his friend headed for the door. “You can’t run from me forever.”

Soonyoung scoffed. “Excuse me, but I have a slumber party scheduled with people who _actually_ still enjoy them.”

“So, Seokmin?” Jihoon snickered.

“…Maybe.” Soonyoung mumbled, clearly disgruntled his friend had found out so easily.

“Just go, I’ll have my revenge later.” Jihoon waved him off.

“Whatever.” Soonyoung rolled his eyes, leaving the office.

Before Jihoon looked back at his computer, the door opened once again, Soonyoung’s head peeking in.

“You can join us if you want.” He grinned, a bit hopeful.

Jihoon sighed, now turning to face the machine. Soonyoung had grown a lot since he had first met him, but part inside he was still that same kid.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~And we're in downton abbey territory again-~~
> 
> Jokes aside though, thank you so much for everyone who's read/left kudos/comments. Seriously, I didn't think 30 people would read this, let alone hundreds. Thank you so much!
> 
> Also, I know I don't have much of a schedule but I figured I should let you guys know I'm going on holiday on Sunday. So unless I post before that (which is very unlikely) I probably won't post anything for at least another two weeks. I'm sorry --" 
> 
> Which is why I went with a lighter chapter too, 'cause I didn't want to give anyone too many feels for now. Also because I have too many ideas and zero capability of writing scenes that actually go with each other and can be in the same chapter-
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much again! Feel free to let me know your thoughts on this chapter and please let me know if you find any typos ^^


	6. I know, but it's not as easy as it sounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We need to cut contact with all families.” Jihoon blurted out, now properly getting to the point. So that was what this was about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boo finally gets more spotlight and this chapter ends up way longer and more emotional than I had imagined.
> 
> (also i never thought about explaining and nobody asked but if anyone is confused, the date format I use is day/month/year, sorry for not clearing it out before)

_\-- / 05 / 2016_

 

Joshua knew something was off the moment he saw the entire group wasn’t gathered. Seungcheol never called in an announcement for just half the group, not when the rest of them were in the city. Even if they were training or running errands, it wouldn’t be hard to get them home. Which meant Seungcheol probably didn’t _want_ them home right now.

The other thing that felt off was how clearly Jihoon was in on it, yet Soonyoung wasn’t. The two were usually the first to know anything about a mission. Sometimes Seungcheol just laid it out for the entire group, but never for just one of the two. That meant either they left Soonyoung out, which was highly unlikely, or he didn’t want any part of it, which seemed even harder. So when Joshua felt something was off, it was because something was off.

He sat down between Jeonghan and Seokmin, looking around to see who else was there. Across from them sat Seungkwan, Hansol and Mingyu, with no sign of the rest of the members other than Seungcheol and Jihoon by the end of the table.

Joshua wondered if his troubled thoughts were showing through when he felt Jeonghan’s hand on his shoulder, seeing the other’s reassuring smile. The look in eyes sold him out, though. Jisoo could see his friend was just as lost as him.

“Before you guys get too concerned, everything is fine.” Jihoon stated, which was another red flag. Seongcheol was always the one to start talking.

“Oh yeah, because that’s reassuring.” Mingyu mumbled sarcastically, trying to lighten up the mood perhaps.

“I’ll just cut to the chase.” Jihoon sighed. “We did a great job in the last mission.”

“…Thanks?” Seungkwan raised a brow. “Why does that sound more brooding then it should?”

“Because it’s not entirely a good thing.” Jihoon began explaining. “We called a lot of attention to ourselves. All kinds of attention.”

There it was. Joshua knew something was coming, he could feel the cold rushing up his spine, and by the look on everyone else’s faces, so could they.

“Did we reveal ourselves?” Jeonghan asked, his hand sliding down from Joshua’s shoulder and onto the floor.

“No, we were careful about that, still are.” Jihoon nodded. “But there are people looking into us, and not only clients. My data shows there are a lot more people trying to find out who we are, contacting our previous clients and trying to find out about our missions. I took more than enough measures to make sure they don’t find us, but we'll need to be more careful.”

“More?” Joshua asked, wondering what exactly he meant by that.

“We need to lay low.” Seungcheol finally spoke, though he didn’t look him in the eye.

“So what, only half of us need to lay low?” Seungkwan’s confusion was clear in his tone.

“We need to cut contact with all families.” Jihoon blurted out, now properly getting to the point. So that was what this was about.

Silence weighed over them once again, like when you’re in a plane taking off and you feel the pressure pushing you down on your seat. Now it made sense. The members who weren’t there didn’t keep touch with their families, some of them didn’t even know where they were. But the ones called to the table did.

“…Are they safe?” Jeonghan’s voice was soft yet far too steady, and his eyes were now aimed at some invisible spot in the wooden table. Joshua reached out beneath the surface, taking the other’s hand in his.

“Right now, yes.” Jihoon nodded lightly. “The reason we called you here is because I don’t know if it’s safe to contact them for a while.” He explained, and it made sense. If they were getting more attention, contacting others would risk everybody’s safety. Jisoo immediately thought of his mother and grandmother, and though they were all the way over in America, he felt his stomach dropping with the thought that something could happen to them.

“So, no more messages?” Mingyu asked, frowning slightly.

“Messages, encounters, calls, no more anything. I strengthened all of our alibis, and for them to stick there can’t be any contact. Getting in touch with them only risks their chances of exposure.” Jihoon sighed, pushing his hair back. This was why he wasn’t the one who gave bad news. Sure, Jihoon was blunt and cut to the chase, and sometimes that was great, but it took a toll out of him. Jisoo knew he already put way too much responsibility on his own shoulders, he didn’t need more.

“What about the money transfers?” Jeonghan asked, eyes still fixed on that same spot. Joshua pressed his lips together as he felt the light squeeze to his hand.

“All those getting money transfers have received the next three months in advance.” Jisoo blinked at Jihoon, surprised at his statement. “We had some savings, you won’t need to worry about that.”

His worry eased slightly as he felt the grip on his hand loosen a bit. Still, he knew this wasn’t all. He knew it from the way Seungcheol kept avoiding their gaze.

“There’s more, isn’t it?” He finally asked, watching as Seungcheol and Jihoon looked at each other.

“Yes.” Jihoon licked his lips, looking directly at him now. “Given you three work at the hospital and have other schedules…” He glanced at Seungcheol again, as if he was giving him one more chance to take over. A chance he didn’t take, unfortunately. “We wanted you to strongly consider the possibility of moving out.”

“What!?” He asked along with Seungkwan and Seokmin, looking at the two before looking at their leader. “You can’t be serious.” Jisoo felt Jeonghan holding onto him tightly now, and he could only squeeze back.

His heart was racing, his hands were getting clammy and out of all the things he would’ve expected, this wasn’t ever one of them.

“It would only be a couple of months,” Jihoon bargained. “To ensure your safety.”

“Wait, guys, this is stupid.” Vernon argued with a frown on his face. “We can keep them safe here, and they’re not kids either. They know how to look after themselves.” Jisoo rarely saw Hansol speaking up like that, but he couldn’t agree more.

“Yeah, we can even train.” Seokmin suggested. “I’m sure Hoshi-hyung wouldn’t mind.”

“Still, we need you guys to think about it.” Joshua could read the concern on Seungcheol’s dark eyes as he spoke, but right now he felt too betrayed to worry. “You have the most contact with people outside the group. You have colleagues, classmates, work.”

“But we’ve always had that.” Jisoo pointed out, trying to stay calm though he couldn’t even loosen up on Jeonghan’s hand.

“Yes, but now it’s become more dangerous. We can’t risk you guys getting hurt.” Seungcheol looked straight at him as he reasoned.

“What about you all? What if you get hurt, who’s gonna treat you?” Jisoo frowned at him, the cold in his spine now turning into a boiling heat.

“Hyung.” Joshua sighed once he saw the frown on Seokmin’s face. He wasn’t sure if what upset him was his temper or the thought of any of them getting hurt. Either way he apologized with a small nod. The last thing he wanted was to upset any of them.

“I agree with him.” Seokmin continued, though this time he looked at the leader. “Even if we’re safer, I won’t feel good about myself if we leave you guys here without any care.”

“I get that, but we’ll be more careful too not to get hurt.” Seungcheol’s words squeezed his chest a bit, but Joshua tried to focus on something else.

He hated this. Not Seungcheol, though he wasn’t happy with him either. But he hated this reputation he had, this responsibility of being the reasonable one, the kind one. Because right now Joshua wanted to scream his lungs out. He wanted to yell at the leader about what a fucking stupid idea that was, about how they should’ve never proposed something like that, not in this way. He wanted to get angry and let them know he was angry.

But he couldn’t.

And it wasn’t just because his reputation was on the line, he physically couldn’t. He knew no one would judge him for getting angry, he knew some would probably be glad, but he just couldn’t. Not when he saw the conflicted gaze in Seungkwan’s eyes, the distant look in Jeonghan’s, or the worried frown on Seokmin’s normally cheerful face.

Being the reasonable one now was stronger than him, as it always was. And he hated himself for that.

“I’m staying.” Jisoo declared, letting go of Jeonghan’s hand to slam his hands on the table, pushing himself up and looking down at Seungcheol. Perhaps he couldn’t yell, but he’d let the other know how mad he was with his stare. “I’ve considered, and I’m staying, and that’s all. We’ll have a medic here, so there’s no reason for anyone to worry.”

He faced Seungkwan and Seokmin now, though with a much softer voice. “This means you guys are free to choose what you want, okay? And I know you got a lot of emotions going through right now, but you can take your time to think on it. We won’t be upset at whatever you choose.”

Joshua mustered his warmest smile when the two gave him a soft nod. For a moment it hadn’t even occurred to him that there was a chance they might take the proposal, but he couldn’t judge either. This was about their lives, their families, they had a right to choose.

With a nod of his own, he turned around to head to their room. He had much more to say, at least to Seungcheol, but he couldn’t do it, not now. The only thing he could do was get some time to himself and perhaps brood a bit. He was still human, after all.

 

 

——

 

 

Seungkwan wished he wasn’t considering it. He wished he was strong and decided like Jisoo, who denied it right away. Or at least positive and optimistic like Seokmin, who trusted them blindly. He wished he could tell them he was staying, but he wasn’t sure.

The round cheeked boy sat with his feet up on the bed, hugging his knees so he could rest his head on them. Generally he was good with decisions. He made them fast, he considered all the options. Hell, he was one of the best interns in the ER. Yet now that he had so much time to decide, he just couldn’t do it.

“It’s okay, Seungkwannie.” Joshua spoke ever so softly, sitting on the bed opposite to him, which actually belonged to Seokmin. The latter sat next to Seungkwan, rubbing his back. “There’s nothing wrong with taking the offer.”

“I know.” Seungkwan sighed, rubbing his forehead against his knees before looking up at them. “I don’t _want_ to take it, I just…” He didn’t know.

“Are you scared of it getting too dangerous?” He thought about Seokmin’s answer, but no, that wasn’t what troubled him.

“It’s always been dangerous.” Seungkwan shook his head lightly. “Whether if it’s one dog chasing you or five, the danger’s always there.”

Sure, at first he had to be scared into joining the group, but he had stopped being scared a while ago. Well, that wasn’t the entire truth of course, but Seungkwan felt like a bit of fear always helped him with his job. It kept him on edge, his mind focused. So no, that wasn’t what was troubling.

“So?” Jisoo prompted, as if asking him to continue.

“So…” The problem was, Seungkwan wasn’t sure how to.

“…It’s your mom, isn’t it?”

Bingo.

Sometimes Seungkwan forgot how well Seokmin knew him. Even if they had only met in college, it was like they had known each other for years.

“I don’t want her to get hurt.” Seungkwan’s voice was low and vulnerable, but he didn’t care. Putting up a front was never his thing, and he was glad no one gave him shit for it. Hansol had even mentioned how he liked it, a couple of times.

“Before I got here, she was everything to me, you know?” He looked up at the other two, trying to explain himself even if he knew it wasn’t necessary. “She raised me on her back all alone, and she was never mean or bad to me. She’s just…”

“She’s a great mom.” Seokmin smiled warmly, and Seungkwan nodded, rubbing his eyes a bit.

“She’s the best.” He snorted lightly.

“It’s only normal to worry about her.” Jisoo assured him, giving them one of his own gentle smiles. “I worry about my mother too. The only reason I refused the proposal so easily is because she’s far away in the US.”

Seungkwan nodded, and he understood, in a way. This decision wasn’t only hard for him, it was hard for the three of them. Yet he was the only one who still didn’t manage to make it.

“Even if she wasn’t in danger, if we lay low… I’ll have to stop talking to her, right?” He took a sharp breath then, trying to keep his emotions in check. He wasn’t one to put up a front, but he also didn’t want to break down for something that hadn’t even happened yet. “How will she feel? I’m her only son. If I just cut contact…”

“She’ll be worried.” Seokmin finished for him, lips pressing into a straight line to show his concern.

“Worry doesn’t even begin to describe it, I’m sure.” Joshua nodded lightly, his round eyes bringing at least some form of comfort to Seungkwan.

“I just want everyone to be safe.” The youngest sighed, resting his head on his knees once more.

“And no one would expect anything else from you.” Jisoo smiled warmly, reaching over to ruffle his hair gently. “Just take your time, okay? Whatever you decide, we’ll support you entirely.”

“It’s gonna be okay, Seungkwannie.” Seokmin nodded, his hand never having left his back and serving as an anchor to keep him attached to sanity. “It doesn’t matter what you choose, everything will be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?” Seungkwan mumbled, tilting his head to side glance at his friend.

“Because at the end of the day, things have a tendency to work themselves out.” Seokmin put it so simply, it almost seemed like a law of nature.

“And if they don’t?”

“Then it’s not the end of the day.” The boy smiled brightly, almost blinding the other two in the room.

“You’re stupid.” Seungkwan mumbled stubbornly, hiding his face again in his knees. He wished he was more like Seokmin.

 

 

——

 

 

It wasn’t long before the other members heard of the news as well. Not that it was ever meant to be kept a secret, it just wasn’t as urgent to them as it was to the others. However, Mingyu still felt weird about that.

“It’s nothing to feel weird about.” Minghao assured him, sitting on the opposite end of the same bed as him. Wonwoo and Jun were on the bed next to them, Wonwoo sitting with his back against the headboard, like Mingyu, and Jun laying across the mattress with his legs up against the wall and his head hanging from the side of the mattress. None of them were sure how that position was comfortable, but considering it was Jun, they didn’t bother asking.

“It’s not like we keep in touch with them anymore.” The younger continued. “They probably wanted to let you guys know privately so you wouldn’t risk getting us upset or anything.”

“I guess.” Mingyu mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. Minghao could have the reputation of a wannabe thug, but he was one of the most understanding out of all of them. “Still, don’t you guys worry about them? Even if you don’t keep in touch.”

“Well, you know my parents are in Europe right now, so I don’t think anyone would bother going after them.” Wonwoo shrugged. Mingyu also knew Wonwoo never had a great relationship with them to begin with, but they weren’t exactly enemies either.

“My parents are in China and I sure wouldn’t mind if someone went after them.” Minghao snickered.

“Were they that bad?” Mingyu frowned with concern.

With the exception of a few of them, they didn’t talk about their families very often. He knew some of them had no problem approaching the subject, like Seungcheol and Dino. However, once he tried to ask Soonyoung about his parents but was met with a slap to the head by Jihoon and a glare he did not dare to challenge. Since then, he refrained from asking anyone about their families.

“Well, maybe I’m salty,” Minghao tilted his head a bit, pursing his lips like he did whenever he was in deep thought. “But considering they sold me off when I was 14, I wouldn’t exactly call them parents of the year.” He snickered.

His statement was followed by two wide and surprised gazes from Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Sold you off?” The latter asked.

“Yeah.” He blinked, looking at the two. “What did you think happened? I worked in the same place as Jun.”He pointed out.

“We knew _that_.” Mingyu’s brows pinched together in confusion. “But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, it’s kind of standard–“ Minghao stopped himself, frowning as he looked at the oldest boy in the room. “Wait, you never told them?”

Jun shrugged, though given his position that almost caused him to fall off the bed. “They never asked.” He explained, as if it was a plausible excuse, before rolling over and clumsily shifting to finally sit up straight.

“Wait, you were sold too?” Wonwoo frowned, looking at his same age friend.

“Eh, sold is a strong word.” Jun shrugged, this time properly, scrunching up his nose as if he was trying to think of a better term. “They just, gave our families money in exchange for us.”

“Jun, that’s the literal meaning of selling.” Wonwoo pointed out.

“Well, when you put it _that_ way…” Jun pulled his feet up on the bed, sitting with his ankles crossed.

“You can put it any way and it’d still be selling.” Minghao snickered.

“Wow, and I thought my parents were assholes.” Wonwoo whistled, though Mingyu didn’t see how the other two could be talking about it so easily. He was still trying to process what they meant by sold.

“They weren’t assholes.” Jun frowned.

Minghao scoffed. “I’m pretty sure they were.”

“Wait, how did you even get sold off?” Mingyu shook his head lightly, trying to understand what was going on. “They just walk in and go ‘Hey, I wanna buy your kid’?”

“The agency we worked for before we got here, remember that?” Mingyu nodded as Minghao explained. “They recruit kids and teens who are exceptional. And when I say recruit, I mean offer a shit ton of money to take them from their families and train them into whatever they want.” He continued. “I was recruited after a acrobatics demonstrations.”

“Wushu competition.” Jun raised his hand.

“Yeah, so when they find the ones they like most, they pay a visit to your home to talk to your parents. I mean, as a kid they make it seem like it’s just a big training school or some shit. An opportunity to work with the best and become the best.” Minghao snorted. “But after a few months you find out the gist.”

“Huh…” Mingyu nodded a bit, thinking to himself for a moment. “Okay, but how do you just talk about it like it’s no big deal? Aren’t you pissed off? Or I don’t know, traumatized?”

“Well yeah,” Minghao snorted. “But I usually try to beat my problems away with a punching bag.”

“What about you?” Wonwoo asked Jun, stretching his leg out a bit to kick at his side lightly.

“Eh, doesn’t really bother me.” The other admitted.

“He thinks it was a,“ Minghao opened and closed air quotes. “ _Hard decision._ ”

“Hard decision? They gave their child away to an evil corporation for money.” Mingyu argued, brows furrowing a bit. He knew Jun was an optimistic guy, but this kind of pushed the limits.

“Well, they didn’t _know_ they were evil.” Jun dragged his words out a bit, trying to explain himself. “And we never had that much money in the first place. My brother was little and they were going through a tough time.”

“Dude, when you go through a tough time you sell your car, maybe your house. You don’t sell your _kid_.” Wonwoo maybe put it a bit too bluntly, though Mingyu knew this was only his way of showing concern.

“We didn’t have a car.” Mingyu wasn’t sure if Jun was simply correcting him or trying to reason with him.

“That’s not the point.” Wonwoo insisted.

“And they didn’t sell me.” Jun continued in a firmer tone, though it made Minghao groan.

“Do you see what I’ve been dealing with for the last two years?” He complained, gesturing towards the elder.

“Look, I’m not saying it was the right choice.” Jun sighed, swaying back and forth a bit, which was what he usually did when he had a hard time finding his words. “I’m just saying, I’m not upset about it. It’s in the past, there’s no point mulling over it.”

“Hyung, just because there’s no point, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel sad.” Mingyu spoke softly, trying to get him to understand. His brows pinched together in concern, as did Wonwoo’s, though Minghao just looked like he had had that talk far too many times already. “Feelings don’t have logic. If something hurts you then it’s okay to feel hurt, even if it’s in the past.”

Jun groaned, leaning his head back. “I know, but I don’t _feel_ sad.” He insisted, taking a deep breath. “I know you guys are worried I’m in denial or something, but I promise, I’m okay. And not just pretending to be okay, I’m really okay.” The older nodded a couple of times, as if to emphasize it. “I know what happened was shitty, but right now, where I am now, I’m happy. I have a family now, a good family, and I’m happy. I feel no need to think about what happened before.”

The other three became silent then, noticing the Jun’s frustration. It was odd. He was more than fluent in Korean by now, yet he still had the hardest time expressing himself. Soonyoung had said once that it had nothing to do with language, he only had a very unique way of seeing the world, and perhaps Mingyu was finally starting to understand what he meant by that.

“I guess I get that.” Mingyu mumbled, licking his lips. “I mean, I don’t _get it_ , ‘cause you know, I never went through that. But… Yeah.” He nodded a bit. He wasn’t exactly the best at explaining himself either, clearly, but he could see in Jun’s small smile that he got the idea through.

“Well, I still hate my family and am eternally scarred for it.” Minghao grumbled, though he soon smiled as well. They didn’t have to agree on everything, after all.

“That’s okay, Hao.” Jun chuckled lightly.

“As long as you’re happy, I guess.” Wonwoo sighed, and Jun now fully grinned, which fit him much better than any frustrated frown.

“Don’t you miss your brother though?” Mingyu wondered. He wasn’t being nit-picky, but he did miss his sister quite often.

“Not when I’m with you guys.” Jun shrugged, smiling again. “I’m happy when I’m with you guys. Why would I miss anyone else?”

Mingyu snorted a bit, though he did appreciate his innocence. He still didn’t understand how Jun could be so simple yet incredibly complicated at the same time, but he figured he was okay with not knowing.

“Okay, the sentiment was great, but now it’s getting really cheasy.” Minghao complained, but before he could get off the bed and run from his emotions, Mingyu threw himself at the boy, hugging him against the bed.

“Just accept the cheesiness.” Mingyu laughed as his friend whined and tried to get away.

“It’s so much cheese, we could make fondue.” Wonwoo joked, if that could ever be called a joke, because instead of laughing Mingyu and Minghao only groaned in unison. Jun gave him a judging glare, though Mingyu could see him holding back the laughter. Yeah, he really did look happy.

 

 

——

 

 

“Was he really that rude?” Soonyoung stopped his assault as he heard the younger’s voice, turning his face to see Seokmin walk into the training gym.

Gym was a bit of a compliment. It was actually a big storage place they rented out and filled with whatever equipment they could find.

“What?” Soonyoung panted softly, grabbing the towel that his friend now tossed at him.

“The punching bag.” Seokmin pointed at the victim of Soonyoung’s constant beating. “I mean, he must’ve said something really rude to deserve a beating like that.” He smiled.

“Uh? Ah, I was just training.” Soonyoung mumbled as he wiped the sweat off his face, his hair damp with sweat and far too much of a job for a towel.

The fact he wasn’t amused by Seokmin’s joke clearly worried his friend, but Soonyoung couldn’t really hide his mood. He had been on edge since this morning after meeting with Jihoon and Seungcheol. He had refused to have that talk with them, given he didn’t agree to the proposal they had in mind at all.

“How was the talk?” Soonyoung asked, throwing the towel over his shoulder and sitting down on the floor with his back against the mirrored wall.

“Not sure there’s a word for it.” Seokmin admitted as he sat down next to him. He handed Soonyoung a bottle of water, which he gladly took.

“You weren’t there.” The younger pointed out as the other quenched his thirst.

“Didn’t think I was needed.” Soonyoung lied.

“Haven’t stopped you before.” Seokmin teased, and this time Soonyoung allowed a small grin to show, though it hid away again quickly.

“I was against it.” Soonyoung explained, turning the now closed bottle around in his hand to pick at the label. It had been Seongcheol’s idea to begin with, of course, but the fact that Jihoon had agreed with it surprised him even more. How could they suggest something like that?

He knew he sounded selfish, and he truly hated that part of himself. How he could get bratty and stubborn when he didn’t have his way. But he really just couldn’t agree with them this time.

“I mean, it’s okay, you know, if you…” No, it wasn’t okay, but he couldn’t say that. He licked his lips, not managing to get the words out. “But I didn’t want them to do it like that. I didn’t want it you guys to think we don’t need you here, because we do.”

He could see the worry on the wrinkle between Seokmin’s eyebrows, and it made his heart clench.

“And it’s more than needing, we _want_ you here. They had no right to do all that.” The older sighed, pushing his damp hair back.

“Thanks hyung.” Seokmin smiled softly, and screw that smile. Soonyoung hated it sometimes, because it made him much softer than he should.

After that, the two were quiet for a moment. The question hung between them like a damn neon sign, but neither wanted to voice it. Yet they had to. Soonyoung had to, as the oldest.

“…Are you thinking of leaving?” He finally asked, licking his lips in an attempt to hide their dryness.

Seokmin sucked a deep breath, something that didn’t ease Soonyoung at all. He didn’t pressure him though, he never wished to.

“I did, for a moment.” Seomin seemed embarrassed to admit it as he lowered his head and scratched the back of his neck. Soonyoung felt his gut tightening in fear, but he tried not to let it show. “But I couldn’t, I can’t.” He raised his head.

“You know we wouldn’t pressure you…” Soonyoung thought he deserved cookies for how mature he was being right now.

“I know, I don’t feel pressured.” The younger admitted. “At first I was worried, about mom and dad. But then I figured that, I trust Jihoon, you know? He’s the best at what he does, he’d keep them safe. And us safe, too.” Seokmin nodded. “Plus, it’s like you said, this isn’t about needing to be here or not. I _want_ to be here with you guys. This is my life now, and I like it.”

Soonyoung could actually match his smile now, feeling a wave of relief hitting him. Selfish or not, he couldn’t care. Even if they were a year apart, Seokmin was one of his best friends. He truly didn’t want him away.

“Hyung said he’s staying too. Didn’t really take a lot of time to decide.” Honestly, Soonyoung didn’t expect anything else from Joshua. Though he did wonder how he felt, since he doubted he was happy about the whole thing. There was someone else worrying him too, though.

“Boo?” Soonyoung asked, glancing at Seokmin.

The younger only shrugged in return, his expression becoming worried once again. “I don’t know.”

Shit. Soonyoung could feel his gut tightening into a knot again. Sure, he was friends with everyone in the group. They were all close and like family, but the three of them were something apart. They all knew the trio had a special kind of friendship. All his life Soonyoung never found anyone who shared the same kind of humor as him, who could play along so easily. The two kept his mood up, made it easier for him to keep his cheerful personality. The thought of either of them leaving made him cold sweat.

“He doesn’t know yet, either. He’s just thinking about it.” Seokmin clarified, and Soonyoung could only nod.

“He’s allowed to think.” The oldest mumbled, more to himself than to Seokmin.

“It’s gonna be okay, hyung.” The younger smiled small, rubbing the other’s shoulder.

“I know. Whatever happens, I know we’ll all be okay.” It was just moving out, after all. No big deal. “I just…”

“I know.” Seokmin squeezed his shoulder gently. “But I know Seungkwan better than you think. He just needs a little bit of time, that’s all.” This time, Soonyoung couldn’t really hate Seokmin’s smile, as it brought a bit of that relief back with it.

“Alright, I’ll trust you.” Soonyoung let out a small chuckle, putting the water bottle down.

“Oh, also, I might’ve suggested you could help us train.” Seokmin added.

“Train?” The older blinked in surprise.

“Yeah, I mean, just teach us a couple of stuff to keep us safe. You know, just so we won’t be helpless in case something happens.” His friend explained, and Soonyoung didn’t think it was a bad idea. It never hurt to learn some self defense.

“Yeah, that’s fair. I can teach you.” Soonyoung nodded, pushing himself up with a grunt.

“Really?” Seokmin’s eyes lit up and he quickly jumped up as well, standing a bit taller than the other.

“Yes, and we can start with the first lesson.” Soonyoung began, raising his finger. “The youngest should always buy dinner after a training session.”

Sekmin laughed then. “Since when is that a rule?”

“Hey, I’m the teacher here, you wanna learn or not?” Soonyoung scoffed, slapping the other’s shoulder lightly as he headed to the door. “I’m gonna take a shower and then you can buy me some fried chicken.”

“Hyung!” Seokmin whined, following the other.

“Order the spicy one!” He called on his way out, grinning to himself.

 

 

——

 

 

“You can’t avoid me forever, you know.” Seungcheol spoke as he walked into the bedroom, leaning back to close the door behind him and crossing his arms.

“I’m not avoiding you.” Jisoo spoke calmly, his fingers flipping through a book on his desk.

“Then why haven’t I seen you all day?” The leader raised a brow.

“There’s eleven more people in this house, Seungcheol. Your odds are reduced considerably by that.” Jisoo replied, his tone still distant and eyes till focused on the pages before him, though he did not read a word.

“Jisoo, come on…” The oldest sighed, taking a few steps towards him. “I know you’re mad.”

“I’m not mad.” His reply was almost automatic.

“I know you’re mad.” Seungcheol repeated, and Joshua gritted his teeth a bit. “But we should talk about this.”

“You made yourself pretty clear.” Joshua turned on his chair to face him, snickering a bit. “What’s there to talk about?”

“I understand you’re angry, but you know I had no choice.” Jisoo rolled his eyes. Seungcheol’s words rang in his ear like a school bell, repetitive and tiring.

“But you _always_ have a choice, Seungcheol. You had so many damn choices, and you went with the worst.” Joshua pleaded at him with his eyes. He didn’t want to snap, not at Seungcheol. But today had been an emotional rollercoaster and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.

“I, we, are just trying to protect you.” Joshua sighed, pushing his hair back.

“Yeah, like you always are.” Joshua sighed, pushing himself up. He didn’t want to have this conversation, not if it’d go the same way as it always did. “You just don’t want us to get hurt, right?”

“Shua…” Seungcheol could sense the tension in the other’s voice, but Joshua couldn’t bother anymore.

“Didn’t you think that maybe you’d hurt us more by asking such a thing?” The youngest asked out then, his hands closing into loose fists.

“What?” Seungcheol blinked, and Joshua didn’t know if he should laugh or cry.

“Honestly, how did you think that’d make us feel, Seungcheol?” Jisoo breathed out.

“You know we weren’t trying to push you away. We’d never want that.” Jisoo did laugh now, though it was dry and weak.

“I know that. Do you even know why I’m mad?” The younger licked his lips, looking away. “You basically called me a doctor, Seungcheol. All of us. You made us feel like we’re nothing but that, here.”

When Jisoo looked back, he could see the realization sinking into the other’s mind. “I didn’t mean that. You know I’d never think that.” His voice was softer, apologetic. And on some level, Joshua knew. But he was weak and human and he couldn’t be the calm one all the time. He was tired. “We just wanted to give you three a chance to opt out, to be safe. We know none of you would bring it up on your own.

“It doesn’t matter what you meant. To us it felt like that. It felt like we’re only here to patch you guys up and move on.” Joshua looked down as he sniffed. He wasn’t crying, no. Not that there was anything wrong with crying, he just wasn’t a cryer. Soonyoung, yes. Seungkwan, definitely. But not him. “We should’ve brought it up together, gently. You hit us with that out of nowhere.”

“Shua…” Seungcheol’s voice hurt him. He didn’t want to worry the other, he didn’t want to be selfish. But he was hurting too, and he couldn’t help it anymore.

“Don’t we mean more than that to you, Seungcheol?” He sighed yet again, looking up at the older now. “Don’t _I_ mean more than that?”

Instead of an answer, he felt Seungcheol’s arms wrapping around him, and he wasn’t strong enough to be stoic anymore. He didn’t cry, no, but he returned the hug tightly, burying his face in the other’s shoulder. He was tired, he was sad, and he was scared. Scared because things were becoming much more serious than before, because they were traveling along deeper waters and he had no idea what lay beneath. Scared because he felt unwanted, yet he wanted them so much. Scared for them, because he wanted to protect them as well, more than he ever did before. Scared because he wasn’t sure he could be the responsible one anymore.

“You mean more than you imagine to me.” Seungcheol mumbled, rubbing his back slowly. Joshua just let the warmth of his hand sink in, willing away the stress. “That’s why I need to look after you. All of you.”

Jisoo shifted, resting his chin on the leader’s shoulder. “I need to look after you too. We’re all adults here, we take care of each other.”

“We weren’t asking you to leave.” The eldest added. “We’d never do that.”

“It still felt like that.” Jisoo pointed out, closing his eyes. “I know it’s hard to let us risk ourselves like this, but we go through that during every single mission with you guys. The only reassurance we have is that we can take care of you in case something happens.”

“I’m sorry.” He could feel Seungcheol nodding, and he tightened his grip just a bit before pulling back.

“It’s alright, just, think more before you do things like that, okay?” Joshua sighed softly, though he wasn’t as tired anymore. “And run it by us first. You almost made Jeonghan sick.”

He could see Seongcheol flinching at that, and he never meant to hurt him with his words. “I know it wasn’t your intention.” Joshua quickly added, reaching out to rub the other’s arm. “Just, you were asking him to let go of too much in one morning. That wasn’t fair.” Not only because of himself, but he knew the younger two meant the world to Jeonghan.

“I know.” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “That really was fucking stupid, and I got no idea what to do now.”

Joshua smiled small, his hand sliding up to brush the other’s cheek gently. “You should talk to him. He’s just worried about her, and the whole moving talk just freaked him out more. Once he realize not much is changing, he’ll be back to normal.”

“I hope you’re right.” Seungcheol smiled a bit as well, though it was more unsure.

“I’m always right.” The younger grinned, patting his cheek lightly before pulling away. “But if you want, we can talk to him together.”

“Thanks.” Seungcheol nodded, pushing his hair back.

“Don’t mention it.” He was the responsible one, after all. And it wasn’t always a bad thing.

 

 

——

 

 

“Hansol Vernon Chwe!” The voice wasn’t loud, yet it was powerful, stopping Hansol in the middle of setting down his shoes by the door. Seungkwan used his full name, that was never a good sign.

“…Boo Seungkwan?” He smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Do you know what time it is, mister?” Seungkwn asked, standing middle of the living room with his arms crossed.

Honestly, no, he didn’t. He knew it was late, because all lights were out except for the one in the kitchen, which was probably where Seungkwan had been before he arrived. Also, no one else seemed to be around but them, so they were most likely sleeping.

“Uh, I lost my watch.” Vernon rubbed the back of his neck, leaving his shoes on the floor so he could stand up straight.

“You don’t have a watch.” Seungkwan pointed out.

“Which is why I’m late.” He grinned, though it took one sharp look from his friend to wipe the grin off his face. Minghao and Jun could know martial arts, Seungcheol could be a muscle beast, Woozi could be the devil's son, but no one was scarier than an angry Boo Seungkwan.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” Vernon gave in before the other started shouting. “I just wanted to train a bit, and I lost track of time.”

“Hansol, it’s 2 AM.” Seungkwan sighed, turning to head back into the kitchen. When he realised the other wasn’t following him though, he looked out from the kitchen door, raising a brow. “If you think you’re going to bed without dinner you have another thing coming to you.”

Vernon wasn’t sure if that could be classified as a threat, but he hurried in after the other nonetheless. As he sat by the table, he realized Seungkwan had already made him a sandwich. Peanut butter and jelly, like his mom used to make.

“I don’t know why Americans like that shit so much.” Seungkwan huffed as he sat down next to him, watching Hansol pick up the sandwich to take a larger than life bite. “Who the hell wants peanuts and jelly together?”

“It’s a sophisticated taste you will never understand.” Hansol spoke with his mouth full, never bothering to actually swallow before speaking.

“…Yeah, sophisticated.” The chubbier boy snorted, watching his friend. “Hey, what’s that on your hand?”

Hansol paused his chewing, blinking and looking at his hands. His knuckles were red and scraped, a couple of them with a bit of blood still threatening to trickle out.

“Ah, it’s nothing.” He swallowed the food in his mouth. “The punching bag is getting a bit roughed up, so.” It probably didn’t help that Hansol had spent far too long on it, but he realized Minghao had been right. Punching your feelings away really did help.

“Yah, idiot, aren’t you supposed to wear gloves with that?” Seungkwan slapped him over the head before pushing himself up, heading towards the cupboard under the sink.

“I forgot them!” Vernon whined. Sure, it stung a little, but it definitely didn’t get in the way of him eating his sandwich. “It’s just some scratches, it’s no big deal.”

“What if it gets infected, genius?” When Seungkwan returned he had the first aid kit with him. They had a bunch of them hidden around the house, given their tendency to break things and themselves. “Do you wanna end up like that Winter orca without the fin?”

“Kwan, Winter was a dolphin.” Vernon had to resort to eating with one hand, as Seungkwan pulled his right hand to start cleaning it up with some alcohol. “Ow- And he didn’t have a tail, not a fin.”

“Same thing.” The older grumbled, holding his hand strongly. “And don’t be a baby.”

“The orca was free Willy.” Vernon continued, now finishing his sandwich. In his opinion Seungkwan was making a big deal out of nothing, but he’d be an idiot to tell the other to stop.

“Free Willy, what the hell of a name is that?” Seungkwan frowned, stealing his other hand to do the same thing. “It sounds like an euphemism for penis.”

Hansol snorted, eyes wrinkling a bit. “His name wasn’t Free Willy, just Willy. The movie name was Free Willy.” He explained, smiling as he watched the other place bandaids over his small cuts.

“Well, that’s even worse. It’s like a flasher movie.” Hansol fully laughed now at his friend’s comment. “All done here.”

Vernon was sure he was supposed to pull his hand back, but he didn’t. Instead, he found himself staring at them, at their fingers touching. And soon, all the worries he thought he had fought away came running back to haunt him.

Seungkwan probably noticed that, as he too went quiet. Yet neither of the two brought it up, not for a few moments that felt like hours. Hansol wanted to ask, but if the answer would be no, he didn’t wish to know. He wanted things to be normal, just for a little longer.

“I can practically hear you thinking, you know?” Seungkwan mumbled with a tiny smile, thumb running hesitantly over his covered knuckles.

“Sorry.” Hansol gave a smile of his own, even if it didn’t hold up.

“It’s fine.” They looked at their hands again. “And don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”

“What?” His large eyes soon flicked back towards his friend, blinking a bit too much.

“Don’t act so surprised.” Seungkwan snickered. “You’re gonna make me think you wanted me out.”

“What? No, of course not- But what? I mean, why?” Hansol was confused. Not so much for his statement, but because of his emotions. He wanted to know why Seungkwan decided to stay, if he was alright, but at the same time, he was glad. He was so fucking glad, he would be fine not knowing the reason. As selfish as it was, he just wanted his friend to stay.

“Careful, you’ll wake up the guys.” Seungkwan grinned, soon shrugging while looking back at their hands. “I just… You know you guys are my family, I never wanted to leave in the first place. I was just worried about my mom.” He explained.

“But… What changed your mind, then?” Hansol’s eyes were fixed on the other, though he could feel his fingertips running with no pattern over the back of his hand.

“I just, couldn’t.” Seungkwan let out a small huff of air. “No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t see myself moving out. When I had to move to Seoul for college, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I knew I had to do it, you know? It was the right thing.” He continued, licking his lips. “But now.. I feel the opposite. As much as I consider all options, that’s the one thing I just can’t do.”

Hansol nodded lightly, this time taking the other’s hand in his. “We’ll make sure nothing happens to her, or you.” He smiled warmly, relief spreading through him like a heat wave as Seungkwan smiled back.

“I know. And I’ll make sure you don’t lose a tail like Winter.” Seungkwan chuckled, squeezing his hand back.

“Tail or not, I’m fucking glad you’re staying.” Maybe he shouldn’t be saying that, but seeing the happiness in Seungkwan’s eyes made him sure it was the right choice.

“Well, if you’re so glad, you can wash the dishes.” Hansol looked over, widening his eyes at the pile of silverware on the kitchen counter.

“How the hell did you manage to make such a mess making a sandwich!?”

“Peanut butter is sticky, alright? And you’re the last one in this apartment who should be complaining about messes.” Seungkwan pointed an accusing finger at him. “Now come help me clean so you can get some sleep already.”

“Fine.” Hansol groaned, stubbornly pushing his chair back before getting up. He felt used, betrayed, yet still fucking glad.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back with a 12 hour jet lag and far too much useless shit–
> 
> I really want to thank everyone who's been reading, though. I really never expected this many hits and kudos and everything. Really, thank you so much. I'm really trying to organize this story and improve my writing, cause i know it's not the best, so seeing the positive feedback really motivates me. Writing had never been something that I cared much about, but seeing as I want to tell this story and there are people who want to read it, I wanna do it in the best way possible. So thank you so much for your patience and your support.
> 
> As always, please let me know if you find any typos.
> 
> Also use bug repellent kids because mosquitoes are a bitch.


	7. You are my angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you ask him if he wants to join the group?” Chan’s brows raised. They seriously needed to work on their brother telepathy thing.
> 
> “What group?” Jeonghan asked, looking genuinely curious.
> 
> “Hyung has this club–“
> 
> “It’s not a club!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, she's attempting feelings again.
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, mentions of abuse near the end, in the fifth scene. It's not much, but I figured I should give a heads up anyway in case anyone feels uncomfortable with it.

 

_\-- / 11 / 2015_

 

“Okay, what’s wrong?” Seokmin asked as he closed his laptop, looking at the boy cooking by the stove.

“What do you mean?” Mingyu blinked, snapping out of his thoughts as he looked back at his friend.

Seokmin had been keeping him company this morning as he made the group’s breakfast. Or attempted to, at least.

“This is the third batch of scrambled eggs you burn, Mingyu.” Seokmin pointed out, making him look at the pan he had in hand.

“Oh, shit-“ Mingyu had been so lost in his own mind that he hadn’t even noticed the eggs burning. Again.

“See?” Seokmin raised one brow perfectly, a completely useless skill yet a very desirable one for some reason.

“Sorry, I’m just distracted.” Mingyu mumbled, setting the eggs aside to start again. Maybe Vernon could eat those, that boy ate anything.

“Even Soonyoung-hyung doesn’t screw up that much when he’s distracted. And he once tried to cook pasta without boiling the water.” Seokmin chuckled, pushing himself up to stand by his friend. “Come on, something’s wrong.”

Mingyu hated how welcoming Seokmin always looked. He was too nice, always helping everyone out with a smile, always the muffler between his and Minghao’s arguments. Seokmin was too nice to get mad at, and that was infuriating.

Mingyu also hated how he was often right.

“I miss my sister.” The boy mumbled, putting down the egg he was about to crack. He wasn’t going to start over right now only to get distracted again.

Seokmin’s expression softened even more then, if it was possible. Thankfully he didn’t look sad though. A sad Seokmin was like a kicked puppy.

“Have you tried talking to her lately?” His friend asked, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, but she’s out on a camping trip.” Mingyu sighed, pushing his hair back. “I mean, that’s good you know? I’m glad she’s having fun, and she’s going with her friends, which is nice.” He smiled small before looking at the other. “It’s just, we used to do that every summer, you know? We’d go camping, and she’d get all whiny because of all the bugs. And we'd argue a lot and sabotaged each other tents.”

“That sounds fun.” Sokmin laughed softly, making Mingyu chuckle as well.

“It was. That’s why we still did it every year. As much as we annoyed each other, it was so much fun.” Mingyu’s smile shrunk a bit then as he looked to the side. “And now I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to do that again, you know?”

“What do you mean?” Seokmin frowned slightly, a look that never matched him.

“I mean, this is what we do now. We can’t go on random camping trips. And the better we get at it, the less free time we’ll have, right?” Mingyu reasoned, voicing out the thoughts that had been plaguing him this morning. “I just feel like I’m missing watching her grow.”

“Mingyu, you don’t know that.” Seokmin pointed out, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t know what the future holds. And I’m sure that if you asked Seungcheol-hyung, we could find a way of getting you to go with her on a trip.”

“I don’t know…” It seemed almost too farfetched. He knew his cover was flexible. He was supposed to be studying abroad, Jihoon had created an admission folder for him and everything. It wouldn’t be entirely impossible for him to come back to spend summer with his sister. But he also didn’t want to risk anything.

“What don’t you know?” The two looked up to see Chan walking into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge in his old t-shirt, pajama pants and bed hair.

“Mingyu misses his sister.” Seokmin explained, pulling his hand back from the other’s shoulder.

“Ah, I’m sorry hyung.” Chan did look sorry, though before he could drink the orange juice straight from the carton, Mingyu was handing him a glass with a frown. Not in his kitchen.

“Do you think your brother would let him go on a trip with her?” Seokmin asked, ever too open.

“You don’t have to–“ Mingyu tried arguing, though Chan simply shrugged.

“I’m sure you can find a way. Hyung is a bit paranoid sometimes, but he cares a lot about family.” The youngest pointed out, filling his glass. “If he’s being stubborn, you can just ask Jeonghan to bend his arm. I’m sure he’d help.”

“Why are you so sure?” The older two frowned in confusion.

“Because he knows how you feel, you know. He’s a big sap about his sister.” Chan explained, licking the orange mustache off his upper lip.

“Wait,” Mingyu shook his head lightly.

“Jeonghan has a sister?” Seokmin finished his question for him.

“Uh, yeah…” Dino’s brows raised a bit. “A younger sister. She’s about my age, I think.”

“Since when?” Mingyu asked in disbelief.

“Since… Always?” Chan tilted his head to the side, staring at the two for a moment. “You really didn’t know that? He visits her practically every weekend.”

“What!?” Mingyu let out.

“How did we _not_ know that?” Seokmin sounded more confused than angry. Though when did he ever sound angry?

“Honestly, I don’t know.” The youngest shrugged, putting the juice carton on the fridge. “I thought you knew.”

“No one ever told us.” Mingyu argued, though he wasn’t mad either, it just didn’t seem like Jeonghan to hide such a thing.

“He doesn’t like talking about it much, I guess.” Chan reasoned, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean, he likes talking about _her_ , but their situation is a bit complicated, so.” He shrugged once again.

“Complicated how?” Seokmin innocently asked.

Chan’s face turned a little somber at that, which was a first for him. It made Mingyu’s insides turn and he wished he could take back the question, even if he hadn’t asked.

“It’s really not my place to say, hyung.” The youngest sighed, putting his glass down in the sink. “But talk to him, okay?” Chan looked at him now with a soft smile. “I think he’ll actually be really happy to help.”

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 03 / 2011_

 

The first time Seungcheol had seen him, he felt as if he had been struck by lightning, unable to move and numb to everything else. He wasn’t in love, God no, love at first sight was bullshit and he knew it. Plus, he didn’t even have time for that. No, what got his brains in a jam and his mouth unable to utter anything was the boy’s beauty.

Some might think he was exaggerating a bit, but that guy was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Maybe he was an angel. Any gender included, Seungcheol had never seen a more beautiful human before in his life. His nose was thin, sharp but delicate. His cheeks and jaw seemed like they had been drawn, and the boy himself seemed like he had jumped right out of a manga page. Probably one of those really melodramatic shoujo’s with the beautiful male lead. What? Seungcheol had no shame in admitting that he had read one or two. Okay, maybe a little shame.

Still, the first time he had seen him, that was all Seungcheol could think of. How beautiful the other was. Even his name, later he learned, matched him perfectly. Jeonghan.

The second time he met him, however, all Seungcheol could think of was how the angel was actually a demon, maybe Lucifer himself. And he had just waltzed into the convenience store Seungcheol worked in as if he had never done anything wrong in the first place.

“You really shouldn’t frown so much, you know? You’re too young to be getting wrinkles.” The boy teased, snapping Seungcheol out of his judgmental thoughts as he pushed his index finger against the forming wrinkles.

“Well, maybe I’d be fine if it wasn’t for someone giving me wrinkles.” Seungcheol pointed out with an unamused stare.

“They must be a horrible person for putting wrinkles on such a pretty face.” Seungcheol convinced himself that the heat he felt was his own anger boiling.

“Not sure about horrible, but definitely a criminal.” The cashier boy spat out, though the other seemed hardly bothered.

“Oh, came on, you can barely call it a crime. It was more of a little trick if you think about it.” Jeonghan chuckled.

“A little trick that could’ve gotten me killed! Did you know that man came back looking for me?” Seungcheol scowled, watching as the guy started skimming through the candy bars available at the counter.

“That’s not my fault, you shouldn’t have stolen his wallet.” Jeonghan shrugged.

“I only did that because you told me it was _your_ wallet!” He claimed.

“Yes, I lied about that. But I never _really_ told you to go and get it back for me. You did that on your own…” Jeonghan hummed, and Seungcheol could see everything turning red.

“Are you seriously–“

“Alright, calm down. Don’t give yourself a heart attack.” Jeonghan chuckled after one glance at the boy. “I’m just kidding. And I am thankful you went all knight in shining armor for me, even if you’re not.”

“Whatever.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes, hoping he’d just leave already. Why was he even there? If he wanted to fool him again, he’d have another thing coming.

“Can I have one of these?” Jeonghan asked, placing a box of pocky and a large bill on the counter. “You can keep the change, alright? That way you got something from it.”

“I don’t want your dirty money.” Seungcheol drawled, taking the money only to give back the proper change.

“It’s not like I sold babies for it.” The other snorted. “Are you really that much of a good guy?”

He had gotten him there. No, Seungcheol wasn’t exactly a clean cut guy either. Before he could reply though, the doorbell rang. Right on time.

“Hi hyung.” Chan grinned brightly as he walked in with his backpack, rushing to get behind the counter with his brother.

“Hey Chan, you can do your homework at the back.” Seungcheol nodded towards the staff room, though Chan seemed distracted by their visitor.

“Hi there!” The young boy greeted politely, and Jeonghan seemed more than delighted.

“You don’t need to say hi to him, he’s just leaving.” Seungcheol interrupted, gently shoving his brother away.

“Awh, Seungcheol, is he your brother? He’s adorable.” Jeonghan grinned, leaning forward with his elbows against the counter.

“I’m not adorable, but yeah.” Chan seemed a bit conflicted on whether he should smile or not, the compliment probably through him off. Chan wasn’t a big fan of being called cute or anything of the sort. “Are you a friend of hyung’s?”

“No.”

“Yes.” They both answered together, Jeonghan smiling at him as he glared back.

“Oh, well, I’m Chan.” The youngest smile brightly, bowing his head a bit. Seungcheol wished that just once, his brother could read his mind and just go do his homework at the back.

“Yeah yeah, you can go now.” Seungcheol tried, pushing his brother away once again.

“Nice to meet you Chan. I’m Jeonghan.” Jeonghan replied smoothly, as if unaware that Seungcheol was trying to keep Chan from him.

“Wait, you’re Jeonghan? _The_ Jeonghan?” Chan’s eyes widened as he looked between the two.

Shit.

Soon enough, the boy was laughing his lungs out, and no threatening glare would get him to stop. Jeonghan seemed a bit lost though, which was a first.

“You’re the one who tricked hyung into stealing that wallet?” Chan finally asked after recovering a bit, and Seungcheol simply gave up on pushing him away.

“Don’t you have homework to do?” He asked instead, to no avail.

“That’s me.” Jeonghan grinned smugly. Oh how Seungcheol hated him.

“That was hilarious! Even Jihoon-hyung couldn’t stop laughing.” Seungcheol groaned, leaning his head back. What had he done that was so wrong? Sure, he wasn’t exactly a goody two shoes, but he tried to be a good guy. Why was he being punished like this?

“Really? I’m glad.” Jeonghan’s grin wouldn’t leave his face and it was too damn annoying. “Seungcheol here didn’t think it was so funny.” He complained, sighing a bit too dramatically.

“He’s just upset because you tricked him even though he thought you were pretty.” His younger brother put it bluntly.

“ _Chan!_ ” Seungcheol’s eyes widened, his cheeks now actually turning red.

“Oh, really?” Jeonghan’s grin grew wider and far too amused, and right now Seungcheol just wanted to leave that store. And maybe the city. Possibly the country.

“Chan, I swear to God–“ Before Seungcheol could think of a threat, he was already being interrupted again.

“Did you ask him if he wants to join the group?” Chan’s brows raised. They seriously needed to work on their brother telepathy thing.

“What group?” Jeonghan asked, looking genuinely curious.

“Hyung has this club–“

“It’s not a club!” Seungcheol groaned.

“ _Anyways_ , Jihoon-hyung said we could use someone like you.” Chan blinked with an honest look in his eyes. Soon enough he’d be telling their whole life story to the other.

“Okay okay, that’s enough. Go do your homework or we’re not going to the amusement park Saturday.” Seungcheol insisted, turning towards his brother.

“But hyung!” The younger whined, though he finally gave in under the elder’s gaze, getting his beackpack and heading to the staff room at the back. Finally, one down.

“A club, huh?” Jeonghan smirked.

“That’s none of your business.” Seungcheol huffed, pushing his dark hair back. Jeonghan seemed like he had a quick reply to that, but one look at the clock on the wall had the other closing his mouth quickly. Seungcheol frowned a bit, wondering what that was about.

“Guess it’ll have to wait until next time. I gotta split.” Jeonghan grinned, though it seemed less teasing now. Or maybe Seungcheol was just tired.

“There will be no next time!” Seungcheol called out as the other began walking away.

“We’ll see!” Seungcheol wanted to throw something at the other as he finally left the store, but thankfully he refrained. Forget wrinkles, he’d start growing white hair after that conversation.

The boy groaned, resting his head down on the counter only to pull back quickly. The change was still there, though he could swear the other had taken it. It’s not like he could put it back in the register, the final add up of the day would be wrong and he’d have to explain it. But he couldn’t leave it on the counter either, could he?

Grumbling complaints, Seungcheol shoved the money down his on pocket. The guy had done this on purpose, hadn’t he?

Jerk.

 

 

——

 

 

“Okay, hold on.” The young girl asked, holding up her hand. “So you’re telling me you convinced this guy that this other, bigger guy had stollen your wallet, and he went all prince charming and went after the big guy to get ‘your’ wallet back?”

“Yep.” Jeonghan nodded.

“So he basically stole someone’s wallet for you and all you had to do was bat your eyes?” The girl raised a brow.

“Excuse you, I had to do much more than that. I practically cried in front of him. Actual tears!” Jeonghan complained, pointing the barbie doll at her as if making his point.

“You’re evil.” The younger concluded before snorting.

“I prefer ‘efficient’.” Jeonghan corrected her, now examining the barbie doll.

“That’s the kind of stuff villains say, oppa.” She pointed out.

“Yah, Sungyeon-ah, respect your brother. You kids are so ungrateful these days.” Jeonghan sighed from where he sat on the floor with his legs crossed. He wasn’t sure where he had gotten the Barbie from, it was probably laying around somewhere.

His sister sat on the bed in front of him, putting away the money in a small silver safe she had won on her birthday to keep her diary in. She was wearing one of his hoodies that looked far too big on her, but Jeonghan liked that. It reminded him that she was still his baby sister, the girl he had sworn to protect since the day she was born. Even if she was an ungrateful little thing sometimes.

“I did feel a bit bad for him, though.” He admitted, putting the doll down to lean back against his hands, looking up at the ceiling. It was covered in idol posters, most of which he had helped glue up there, given she was much shorter. “He didn’t seem like a bad guy.”

“Wait, is this Yoon Jeonghan feeling regret? Is that actually possible?” His sister teased, snorting when she avoided her brother’s foot.

“Shut up, I’m not _that_ evil.” Jeonghan complained, though his tone was a bit amused as well. “And I don’t regret it, I’m just saying maybe I could’ve picked another kid. He seemed almost too eager to do the right thing.”

“Then apologize to him.” She shrugged, now turning towards her bedside table. She took the lamp and clock that rested on it down on the floor, only to lift up the top of the table. There she hid the silver safe, closing the top once again and placing everything where they once were.

“I tried,” Jeonghan defended. “He wouldn’t let me get a word in. He was too angry at me in the first place.”

“Well, you can’t really blame him.” The girl pointed out, making Jeonghan wonder whose side she was on. “And did you really try?”

Jeonghan shrugged. “I thanked him for helping me out.” He reasoned.

“Oppa, that’s not the same thing.” Sungyeon pointed out.

“Since when did you start getting so clever?” Jeonghan groaned.

“Since I stopped playing with Barbies.” She snickered, gesturing towards the doll on the floor.

“Well, I liked it better when you played with them.” He replied stubbornly, picking up the doll to fix her hair. “You were nicer and less snappy.”

“Don’t avoid the subject.” Damn, she really was getting clever. “Just go back there and apologize properly.”

“Fine, fine.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, giving in. He hated how he could never say no to her. He had spoiled her too much. “But you know I did what I had to do, right? It’s not like I wanted to be mean.”

“Oppa, you know you don’t _have_ to do it.” Sungyeon’s voice was softer now, and the last thing he needed was for his baby sister to pity him.

“I know, Sungyeon. But you’ll need money for when you get older, and I need to get as much as I can before I have to leave.” He reminded her, looking up at the girl.

“But you don’t know that. You don’t know if he’ll make you leave. He’s our dad.” She tried.

“He’s _your_ dad, Sungyeon. He made that very clear.” Jeonghan sighed. “When I turn 18 I’m out of here, and I need to be able to afford something.”

“Then keep the money for yourself.” The girl argued, frowning.

“And what? Live on my own knowing he’s gambling all your money away? How am I supposed to do that?” He pointed out, pushing himself up to sit next to her on the bed. He opened his arms, hoping she would take the offer. Thankfully she did, hugging her brother tightly.

It hadn’t always been like that. Jeonghan didn’t really remember his real dad, he had walked out on them far too early for him to keep him in his memories. But when his mother had met someone else, he had been supportive. He was just a child, but the man treated him like his own. He was fun, caring, he was all they had asked for. And when they had Sungyeon, it was like they had become a perfect family.

Only perfect never lasted.

And as he grew older, the resentment grew. Because as the man said, he was old enough to start helping out. It was the least he could do, given he didn’t pay to live there. It was the least he could do, given he was someone else’s child. It was the least he could do, even though it was never his fault their money seeped out faster than it poured in. 

“We could ask for mom’s help.” Sungyeon suggested, as she had a few times before.

“There’s no point, mom’s not the same anymore, Sung.” She hadn’t been for a while now. Jeonghan sighed, holding the girl’s cheeks so she would look into his eyes. “You can’t tell her I’m giving you money too, okay? As far as she knows, I’m only giving it to her.” That man would take any money he could find and turn it into ashes.

“Alright.” She mumbled in defeat.

“It’s just for a while, okay?” He mumbled, holding her close once again with a hand running through her long dark hair. “A job won’t pay me fast enough now, but once I get everything settled down and you finish school, you can come live with me.” He smiled softly, looking down at his sister.

“Promise?” She asked, looking up at him with big round eyes.

“Promise.”

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 06 / 2011_

 

“I’m sorry, by the way.” Jeonghan finally let it out after swallowing down a bite of his cheeseburger.

The two of them sat on the swings in the small park by Seungcheol’s workplace, sharing a midnight snack. The former had just finished his shift, and since he was always starving by the end of it, Jeonghan often made him company.

“Sorry for what?” Seongcheol glanced at the other, wiping the mayo off his lips with his sleeve.

“For making you steal someone else’s wallet for me.” Jeonghan clarified, sucking on the bent straw of his Coke.

“Dude, are you serious?” Seungcheol lowered his BLT for a moment, staring at his friend.

“What?” Jeonghan blinked.

“It’s been three months!” Seungcheol pointed out. Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he was outraged for the time he took, or for the fact he even bothered after so long.

“I kept forgetting about it–“ Jeonghan tried, though Seungcheol clearly didn’t believe him.

“More like you wanted to annoy me as much as possible first.” Seungcheol mumbled.

“Well, that too.” The younger chuckled as he dodged a french fry.

“Remind me again why we’re friends in the first place?” Seungcheol grumbled, focusing on his food once again.

“Because you love me and I saved your asses more than once?” Jeonghan suggested.

“I tolerate you.” Seungcheol corrected him, though Jeonghan saw right through that. It was cute though, the little act he still tried to keep. “And save our asses is a bit of an exaggeration. And as far as I remember, you _wanted_ to help us.”

“I did.” Jeonghan nodded, taking another bite of his fast food. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I saved your asses. I lied through my teeth more than once to keep you all out of trouble, you know?”

“No way, name two times.” Seungcheol challenged him.

“The teacher that caught you messing with those lockers, the woman whose purse Chan switched, that calling center Jihoon hacked–“

“Fine fine, I said two!” Seungcheol complained, though Jeonghan could only grin smugly. Winning an argument was so easy against him. Not to mention fun.

“If you like helping us so much, then why haven’t you joined already?” The older pointed out, taking a final bite of his hamburger.

Jeonghan paused at that, biting at his own lip instead. He had thought about it before, honestly. It wasn’t a bad deal. Joining their little group, helping them mess with people who deserved it. At least he’d have someone to rely on when he had to leave. But if he said yes, it’d be a commitment. And he had already made a commitment to his sister.

“I don’t know if I’m cool enough to join your little club.” He lied, finishing his cheeseburger as well.

“It’s not a club!” Jeonghan didn’t know why Seungcheol still bothered arguing about that when he clearly did it just to spite him. Though what did Jeonghan _not_ do just to spite the other? “And you could really make a difference, you know? It’s better than fooling people into stealing wallets.”

“It’s that your way of finally asking me to join, Seungcheol?” He teased, smirking a bit.

“Uh?” Seungcheol blinked in confusion. “We asked already, like ten times.”

“No, Chan asked.” Jeonghan pointed out. “Soonyoung asked, Samuel asked, even Jihoon asked. But you, sir, you still haven’t.” He grinned, reaching out to poke at his friend’s chest, only to have his hand swatted away.

“What’s the difference?” Seungcheol grunted, drinking from his cup.

“It makes an entire difference!” Jeonghan gasped, holding onto his own chest. “In fact, if you ask me, I’ll join.” He decided then and there, and maybe he shouldn’t have. Honestly, he didn’t know why he did. The words just came out without thought, for the first time in his life.

“Are you serious? That’s ridiculous!” The older exclaimed.

“Why? It seems fair.” Jeonghan shrugged.

“Are you seriously gonna let your pride keep you from joining? Do you know how petty you sound?” Seungcheol scoffed in disbelief.

“Says the one who’s clearly too proud to ask me in the first place.” Jeonghan pointed out with a smirk and a pointed stare.

“I’m not, this isn’t–… Ugh, you’re impossible.” Seungcheol grumpily finished his fries, and Jeonghan thought that if he was a cartoon character, he’d probably have smoke coming out of his ears by now.

“Only for you, Cheollie.” He teased, grinning at the other’s red cheeks. Maybe he was guilty of teasing the other a bit too much, but how could anyone blame him?

“Just eat your damn fries.” Seungcheol grumbled.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 08 / 2011_

 

Jeonghan ran without knowing where to go. He wanted to stop, he wanted to curl up and cry and scream at the world, but his mother told him to run, so he ran. And without thinking, he ended up in front of a building he had been to only a few times. It was a bit run down, definitely old, but it was the closest thing to a home he had right now.

Jeonghan made his way inside, catching his reflection on the mirror by the entrance.

"Shit." He whispered.

‘Shit’ didn’t even begin to describe what he looked like. He couldn’t go up there looking like this. What would they think?

Sniffing, Jeonghan took his hat off to fix his short black hair. He used his hoodie sleeve to wipe the blood of his face, rolling it up once he was done so the stains wouldn't show up as much. He fixed his clothes the best that he could, slipping his cap back on to cover the cut on his forehead. He thought that maybe, if he was lucky enough, they wouldn’t think anything was wrong. It was a stupid thing to think, but Jeonghan wasn’t exactly in his best state of mind. Or body.

After struggling up the stairs, the boy stopped in front of the chipped green door. He waited for a moment, wondering if he should really do this. He didn’t want to push his problems onto anyone else, but he also had nowhere else to go anymore. He had no home.

So he knocked once, twice. Before the third time, the door opened, and Jeonghan lowered his head a bit so his face wasn’t showing as much.

“I swear, if none of you come out I’m eating the pizza by myself!” Chan shouted back before turning to face the door. “Sorry about that, how much–“ The boy paused, and Jeonghan could sense his shock, even if he was hiding under the cap.

“Hey Chan.” Jeonghan tried to smile as much as he could, though his lips still stung. “Could you get Cheol for me?”

“I– Yeah, uh… Fuck, come on in.” Chan quickly stepped back, making way for his older friend.

“Language, Chan.” Jeonghan chided softly, though it held none of the authority it normally did.

“Hyung, come out now!” The youngest called out as Jeonghan walked towards the couch, sitting down slowly and hiding his bruised hands in his pockets.

“Calm down Chan, it’s not like the pizza will run away.” Soonyoung complained as he walked out of the room along with the other three, though he soon paused in his steps. “Jeonghan-hyung?”

Jeonghan tried turning back a bit to face them, but his back wouldn’t let him turn all the way. So instead he raised a hand, smiling softly. “Hey. Sorry to barge in during dinner.” His chuckle was light and airy, and apparently it didn’t convince anyone.

Seungcheol approached him first, crouching down in front of him to look under his cap. Jeonghan assumed he couldn’t see much, as he tried to remove it. Jeonghan didn’t let him though, his shaky hand holding the other’s wrist mid-way through. He couldn’t, not here. Not in front of the youngest.

Seungcheol seemed to have read his mind, though the look he gave Jihoon and Soonyoung was invisible to Jeonghan. “Chan, can you and Sam go wait in the bedroom?”

“Hyung…” Samuel was about to complain. Jeonghan knew they didn’t want to, but he still had some dignity left not to scar them like that.

“Please?” He asked softly, turning towards them a bit to show a warm smile.

“…Alright.” Chan gave in, calling Samuel with him to leave the other four alone. Once they were finally out, Jihoon and Soonyoung joined the two in the couch. Jeonghan let Seungcheol’s hand go, finally allowing him to take off the cap.

If the hisses and expressions were anything to go by, he probably didn’t look great.

“Han…” Seungcheol gulped, his round eyes always too revealing for his own good. He could read the concern in them, the confusion, and a bit of something Jeonghan couldn’t recognize.

“I’ll get the kit.” Soonyoung mumbled quickly before jumping over the back of the couch and rushing to the bathroom.

“Guess I’m not so pretty anymore, huh?” Jeonghan chuckled lightly, though his humor wasn’t met by either of the two. He didn’t even get a snarky comment from Jihoon.

“Are you okay?” Seungcheol asked instead.

“As okay as I can be, I guess.” Jeonghan shrugged, making himself wince. Bad idea, clearly bad idea.

“Here.” Soonyoung soon returned with the little white plastic case, sitting next to the older. He was quick to get the cotton and the rubbing alcohol out, treating that nasty cut on his forehead first.

It stung, but Jeonghan didn’t find it in himself to complain. Honestly, it was the most relieving thing that had happened to him that evening. After they opened the door, of course.

He was also thankful they weren’t asking questions. They weren’t even judging him. They just took him in and started patching him up. How a fuck up like him managed to find friends like that was beyond him.

“Hyung..” Jeonghan blinked at Jihoon’s voice, bringing a hand up to his own cheek to feel something wet. Great, now he was crying.

“God, this is worse than those cheesy dramas Soon watches.” Jeonghan chuckled at his own cost, wiping at his eyes, still not getting a laugh out of any of them.

“He found out.” Jeonghan admitted then. He knew they wouldn’t ask, but he figured he owed it to them. Plus, he needed to tell someone. It was like an animal trying to claw its way out of his broken chest. “He found out I was giving my mother money, he found her stash.”

“Wait, he did this to you?” Seungcheol frowned.

“Who’s he?” Soonyoung asked. Ah, they weren’t as caught up as Seongcheol, Jeonghan had forgotten.

“His stepfather.” The eldest answered.

“What the fuck, your stepfather did this to you!?” It was Jihoon’s turn to ask, and if Jeonghan wasn't in such a lousy state, he’d be laughing at the scene.

“He called me selfish.” Jeonghan snorted, less amused and more outraged. “Can you believe it? Selfish. Because I didn’t tell him I was bringing in money. Because I wouldn’t let my mother give it all to him.”

“We need to call the cops on him.” Jihoon argued, though Jeonghan quickly shook his head.

“If something happens to him, my mother can’t afford the house. I can’t do that to them, not to my sister.” He could only be thankful she hadn’t seen any of what happened.

“But hyung, what if he hurts her too?” Soonyoung asked carefully, not wiping his scraped palms.

“He won’t.” Jeonghan took a deep breath. “She’s his daughter, his actual daughter, he won’t do that. He’s too proud. As long as he doesn’t find her stash too, she’ll be alright.” And as long as she was alright, he’d be alright.

"And what about you?" Seungcheol's frown grew deeper. Ah, what a shame, Jeonghan was truly giving him wrinkles.

“I'll be fine, I just... I didn’t think he’d cross the line with me either, you know?” Jeonghan admitted, lowering his face with a dry chuckle. “He’d hinted at it before, but I never thought he’d go that far. I thought I was immune.”

But he wasn’t. He wasn’t immune to the first hit, or the ones that followed. Punch after punch, kick after kick. Until he could taste the blood dripping from his lips, until breathing hurt and his hands couldn’t even push him back up. Until he was lying on the floor clinging to the hope his sister hadn’t heard any of that from her bedroom. A fool’s hope, but hope nonetheless.

“I was so scared.” Jeonghan’s voice broke as he felt more tears gathering up in the corner of his eyes. He couldn’t bother holding them back anymore. His pride had been broken along with his body. “He was so furious, I’d never seen him so angry, and I couldn’t do anything… And now I have nowhere to go. Fuck, I can't go back. Shit, I–”

Seungcheol sat up on his knees, reaching out to take his shoulders. He couldn’t even face him properly, though. He felt so weak.

“Han… Will you join the group?” Jeonghan blinked through the tears, looking up at his friend. He wasn’t stupid, he knew why he was asking. Because if he asked, Jeonghan had to say yes. It was their deal.

Jeonghan wet his burst lip, staring into Seungcheol’s eyes. He tried to find a hint of pity, sympathy, anything that showed he was doing this because he had to, not because he wanted to. But he found nothing. Seungcheol _wanted_ him to join.

“Yeah.” Jeonghan nodded lightly, wiping his cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll join.”

 

 

——

 

 

“You know you don’t have to wait up, right?” Seungcheol asked as he spotted Jeonghan sitting on the floor with his knees against his chest, looking out the window.

“You know you don’t have to say that every time, right?” Jeonghan smirked, looking over at him. “We’ve known each other for over 4 years now Cheol, if I wanted to sleep I’d sleep.”

“Alright, fair enough.” Seungcheol snickered, walking over to sit down next to his friend. He had just returned from a meeting, and he needed to talk to Jihoon and Soonyoung about it, but Seungcheol had no intention of waking up either of them. “So, why are you up?”

“I needed to talk to you.” Jeonghan admitted, looking back at the stars now. Seungcheol couldn’t blame him, it was a beautiful night.

“Uh oh. Good or bad?” The leader asked.

“Good, good.” Jeonghan chuckled, and Seungcheol was glad he managed to at least put a smile on his face. “Mingyu wanted me to ask you something.”

“If this is about the new stove, forget it.” The older frowned. “I told him already, we don’t need 6 burners. That thing is enough of a hazard with four.”

Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head lightly and messing up his long hair just a bit. “No, not that. I’m pretty sure he gave up on that when he realized Soonyoung would probably set it on fire.”

Seungcheol hummed, satisfied. “So what is it, then?”

Jeonghan took a moment to lick his lips, pushing his hair back. “He wants to go on a trip with his sister.”

“Oh.” Seungcheol’s voice softened a bit. “A trip?”

“Yeah, apparently they used to do this camping trip every year, but they haven’t done it in a while.” Jeonghan explained, his eyes fixed on the sky now. “He doesn’t wanna put any of us at risk, though. Or her. But I told him we can find a way.”

“I see…” Sure, it was a bit risky, but it wasn’t impossible either. They could be without him for a while. Seungcheol was just worried about him getting exposed in any way.

“I know you don’t like them blowing the cover, but please, Cheol?” Jeonghan looked at him now, eyes too soft and too knowing. “He really misses her.”

“Yeah, yeah, we can find a way.” It was a low blow, using Jeonghan against him, but he knew that if it got to that point, it was only because Mingyu truly needed this. And seeing him smile again was worth the punch.

“Thanks.” Seungcheol offered his shoulder to the other, letting him rest his head on it.

“Are you gonna go see her today?” Given they had already passed midnight, it was already Saturday.

“I don’t know.” Jeonghan’s voice was small. “I don’t know if I can face her.”

“Hannie...” Seungcheol sighed.

“I made her a promise, Seungcheol. And I haven’t kept it.” Seungcheol knew it was eating him up alive.

“There’s still time to keep it.” The leader pointed out. “And plans change, it’s not your fault. She’s not a kid anymore, she’ll understand.”

“What if she resents me?” Jeonghan asked, sounding so scared.

“She will if you stop seeing her.” Seungcheol pointed out, tilting his head to glance down a bit. He offered his hand, palm up, taking the other’s slim fingers in his. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did the right thing.”

“I could’ve brought her with me.” The younger mumbled. “I could’ve done like you did with Channie.”

“I did the wrong thing with Channie.” Seungcheol sighed, looking up at the window. “I don’t regret it, but I know it wasn’t the best for him. I was weak, I couldn’t let him go.”

“He’s happy, though.” Jeonghan pointed out.

“But she has a bigger chance at a better future.” Seungcheol reasoned, looking back down at the other. “You sacrificed so much for her, Jeonghan. She’s not stupid, she can see that.”

“What’s the point if I can’t be a good brother?” He sighed now as well, resting more against the older.

“You’re a great brother, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head, mumbling softly. “Promise me you’ll go visit her today?”

Jeonghan was quiet for a moment, making Seungcheol wondered if he had somehow fallen asleep. That didn’t seem to be the case though, since he felt a light squeeze to his hand.

“Promise.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> +1K HITS !!!! +90 KUDOS !!!!!!!  
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> 
> Thank you so much, really!  
> I say this every time but only because I can't say it enough. I'm really glad people are enjoying this fic, and I hope I haven't let anyone down so far-  
> Every time someone leaves kudos or a comment or even just reads this fic, it motivates me to write it even more, so thank you.
> 
> Please, feel free to let me know what you think of it so far! And if you spot any typos, please tell me as well. I do proof read, but something always slips by. 
> 
> Also I may or may not have looked into Pristin to get a name for his sister.


	8. You can take a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three days in and Jihoon didn’t know whose genius idea it was to rotate the tasks between members. Oh wait, he did know. It was Soonyoung’s. The same person to whom all major ideas that caused him pain or complete discomfort belonged. Soonyoung.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a lighter chapter this time to make up for a bit of the angst-

 

_\-- / 12 / 2015_

 

They were all happy Mingyu was able to go out with his sister. After Seungcheol took care of some things, they were able to rent a small cabin near the woods. It wouldn’t be long, less than a week, but hopefully long enough for them to catch up. Wonwoo in particular was quite glad, knowing how close the two were. Still, he felt some of the members were taking it a bit too… seriously.

“Alright, we need to focus.” Soonyoung announced. “This is serious, we have a lot on the line here.”

“You know he’s just gone for like five days, right?” Minghao pointed out, and Wonwoo was glad he wasn’t the only one who found this ridiculous.

“That’s five entire days without our friend and best cook, Minghao.” Soonyoung stated.

He was the one that had dragged Wonwoo and Jihoon into this little ‘meeting’ to decide what to do in the days to come. The eldest three in the group had managed to escape, Seungcheol promptly turning down Soonyoung’s offer without bothering to give an excuse. Lucky bastard. Wonwoo, on the other hand, had to sit around the kitchen table with Jun half sitting on his leg because there weren’t enough chairs.

“It’s not like he’s the only cook.” Chan reasoned.

“I know, I know, but I can’t cook every single day.” Soonyoung pushed his hair back, the rest of them looking straight at him.

“You get anywhere near that stove and I’m exposing all your childhood dancing videos.” Jihoon pointed a threatening finger at his friend.

“Yeah hyung, I was actually talking about Jun-hyung and Shua-hyung.” Dino admitted.

“What did I do to get attacked like this?” Soonyoung whined.

“Called up a completely useless meeting?” Wonwoo muttered, getting himself a stink eye from Soonyoung.

“It’s not completely useless!” The other complained. He was really insisting on that, wasn’t he?

“I agree with hyung.” Seungkwan raised his hand a bit, sitting on Vernon’s leg. “I mean, I don’t think the cooking is that big of a deal, but Mingyu-hyung is the only one who _likes_ keeping the house clean.”

“So?” Minghao raised a brow.

“So, how do we know we won’t turn this place into a mess?” Alright, that was a good point, Wonwoo would give him that.

“I don’t think that’s such a big deal.” Hansol shrugged, causing Seungkwan to look back at him.

“Vernonie, sweetie, that’s because you could live in a pig sty.” Seungkwan put it sweetly, though there was nothing sweet about that, in Wonwoo’s opinion.

“That’s not true!” The younger protested, frowning a bit. “Maybe a barn, but not a pig sty…”

“What if we put up a cleaning schedule?” Jun suggested.

“That’s not a bad idea, actually.” Wonwoo admitted. He couldn’t believe he was actually helping out.

“But how will we decide who does what?” Seokmin asked, looking around.

“Aren’t you guys making too much of a deal out of this?” Jihoon groaned. “We can just go on as we always do and clean up after ourselves. You know, like normal people.”

“I don’t know if some of us can be classified as normal people, hyung.” Minghao snickered, glancing at the notorious trio of Seokmin, Soonyoung and Seungkwan.

“Okay, that’s another thing we need to address.” Soonyoung pointed at the younger. “Just because Mingyu is out for five days that doesn’t mean you can let out your quota of sass on us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The Chinese boy frowned.

“Just because Mingyu can put up with your temper that doesn’t mean we will.” Seungkwan explained.

“I don’t have a temper.” Minghao complained, crossing his arms.

“Hao, you kinda do.” Hansol mumbled, trying to soften the blow.

“And we don’t mind, usually. It’s kind of fun even.” Seokmin nodded quickly, smiling a bit. Leave Seokmin to try to make anyone feel better.

“But we have more self respect than Mingyu and a limit for the sassing.” Soonyoung stated, though Wonwoo wasn’t sure about the self respect part.

“Fine, fine. Just stop being a drama queen.” Minghao rolled his eyes and Wonwoo wondered if he got anything from the conversation.

“I could be in charge of vacuuming.” Jun blurted out, all eyes turning to him.

“Wait, are we back to the cleaning issue?” Chan furrowed his brows in confusion.

“…Did we ever leave?” Jun asked in return, looking even more confused.

“Didn’t you hear the last minute of conversation?” Wonwoo pointed out, looking up at his friend.

“Well, yeah, but I thought that was over.” Jun shrugged. Well, you could never accuse him of not being practical.

“He’s got a point.” Wonwoo admitted.

“Alright, Jun can take care of vacuuming.” Hoshi nodded, taking out a sheet of paper and a blue pen from out of nowhere.

“Where the hell did you get that from?” Jihoon frowned.

“Since I’m not allowed in the kitchen, maybe Seokmin can clean it?” Soonyoung suggested, ignoring his friend’s question.

“Yeah, I’m okay with that.” The younger smiled brightly.

“We should still clean our own dishes though.” Minghao insisted. “It’s not fair for Kyeommie to do it all on his own.” He could be the sassiest thing, but at least he looked out for his friends.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Soonyoung nodded, writing down each of their duties. “Hansol can be in charge of keeping himself under control–“

“Hey!” The younger protested.

“And Wonwoo and I can be in charge of making the beds.” Soonyoung concluded, once again ignoring the other.

“What about the rest?” Wonwoo pointed out.

“We can rotate duties along the week.” Soonyoung suggested.

“Why do I have a feeling that’s not gonna work?” Jihoon raised a brow, staring at his childhood friend.

“It’s so gonna work! You’ll see.” Soonyoung nodded, slamming his hand down decisively over the paper. “Even Mingyu’s gonna be proud of us.”

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 05/ 2015_

 

They were all good at something in the group. Seungcheol was good at leading and fighting, Jihoon was good with computers, Soonyoung was good at complaining. Perhaps that last one was a bit biased, but Wonwoo would insist that even if his friend was a great thief, his true talent lied in nagging.

Yet even with everyone having their own particular skill, no one was as good at their job as Yoon Jeonghan was at deceiving. Wonwoo wasn’t exaggerating. He was pretty sure the older could convince the Pope he was the reincarnated Korean Jesus. And knowing him, he’d probably do it just for the fun of it.

The guy could talk his way out of anything, without needing to move a pinky. He spilled lies as if they were his own life story, and no one could ever be convinced otherwise. It was a tremendous skill, one Wonwoo certainly looked up to, though it could be a bit too intimidating at times.

This was one of those times. The older sat on a leather couch, with a sharp cut black suit and his long brown hair styled back into a low ponytail. The couch made a curve around the round table in front of him, with their target sitting across from him at the other end. His two thugs stood behind him, just like Wonwoo and Soonyoung stood behind Jeonghan, acting as bodyguards as well.

“So it’s all settled for Friday?” Jeonghan asked, swaying the black umbrella left and right in his hand, with the tip against the floor between his feet.

“All going according to plan.” The other man informed, taking a sip from his drink. Wonwoo wasn’t sure what it was, but from the strong smell, it seemed like Bourbon. Something fancy, for someone who was trying to be fancy, if you were to judge by his slick black hair and well shaved face. However his smile was sluggish, sleazy, something that clearly showed he wasn’t born with a silver spoon. He had climbed his way up, and not in the right kind of way.

“You’ll have my money?” The man raised his thick eyebrow as he put down his glass, smacking his lips once.

“I already have your money.” Jeonghan smirked, leaning back against the couch as he spread his arms out. “I’m just waiting for my merch.”

“And you’ll get it, I assure you. After all, neither one of us got here on impatience, am I right?” The other half grinned.

“Of course not.” Jeonghan agreed with a light chuckle. “But I can guarantee you I didn’t get here being a pushover, either.”

The target laughed, nodding along. “That we have in common as well.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Wouldn’t want to do business with a wuss, after all.” Jeonghan teased, and Wonwoo would be concerned he was playing with the bull a bit too much, but the older knew what he was doing. He trusted him, at least.

“Now now, there’s no need for name calling.” The other grinned, though a hint of displeasure was visible in the twitch of his eye. “We’ll both have what we need Friday at 3AM, at the docks.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Jeonghan nodded, pushing himself forward a bit.

“Of course, if there’s some kind of setback, we might have to postpone.”

“Setback?” It was Jeonghan’s turn now to raise an eyebrow, eyes set on the man before him. “Care to elaborate?”

“We’ve received information of a certain group that seems to be interfering with our transactions.” Wonwoo felt a sudden drop in the temperature, and he had to fight the urge to look at Soonyoung next to him. This was bad. Had they been found out?

They had been tracking this guy for weeks now. They wanted to get him, the boss, but he was never at any transactions they broke. They were running out of opportunities, and out of decoys.

“A government group?” Jeonghan suggested, playing along. Wonwoo never saw his expression falter, or fear show in his eyes. He was still playing the part better than any Oscar winning actor.

“We are not sure, but we don’t think so. We don’t have a lot on them, only that they seem to go by the name of Seventeen.” Fuck, they knew. Wonwoo felt his palms starting to sweat, but he still didn’t move an inch.

“What a ridiculous name.” Jeonghan laughed, prompting the man to chuckle along with him. In his mind Wonwoo could practically hear Soonyoung shouting in protest, but thankfully, his friend refrained from it.

“Well, they seem to be young, maybe teenagers. I doubt they have the mind to come up with anything more clever.” The other snickered.

“So they’re basically a bunch of meddling teens?” Jeonghan scoffed in amusement. “All you’re missing is a talking dog and you got yourself a show.”

“Right? It’s a wonder how they got this far.” They both continued to chuckle, far too amused.

“It is, it is.” Jeonghan nodded, his laughter slowly dying down. “Though you know what is even more of a wonder?” He grinned, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “How you’d let them ruin the delivery of my product.”

“Well, it’s not that it would happen for sure.” The man played it off. “We just need to be safe.”

“Safe from a handful of kids? So you could get my money and keep your merch?” Jeonghan snickered, though this time it lacked any sort of amusement. The other could sense that as well, his expression turning serious.

Jeonghan slowly pushed himself up, his right hand holding the umbrella loosely. For a moment, Wonwoo thought that maybe that was just it. They would walk out on that simple note, hoping to have intimidated the man enough. But that just proved how much he didn’t know the mind of Yoon Jeonghan.

Quickly, their eldest aimed the umbrella at the other’s throat, pushing a button in the handle. With that a small yet incredibly sharp knife came out from the tip, scratching the man’s skin. Short but deadly, one of Wonwoo’s invention. He had actually named it the Woozi, though his friend hadn’t liked the homage that much.

At that same instant, everybody pulled out their guns. Their bodyguards aimed at Jeonghan, while Wonwoo and Soonyoung aimed at them. The only ones that remained completely still were the two doing the negotiation, staring each other down.

This was bad, this was really bad. Wonwoo knew how to use a gun, but he never really had to use one. Not at anyone, at least, and he liked that. He wasn’t sure he could keep anyone safe, and they were far too exposed to hide now.

“If you for one moment think you can play me, you are incredibly mistaken.” Jeonghan spoke loud and clear, voice dripping with threat. “And if you _think_ I will let a group of pre-pubescent James Bond wannabes get in the way of my transaction, you have another thing coming.” A drop of blood ran down the blade when the man gulped, though the cut was far from deep.

“You _will_ deliver my merch and you _will_ be there to assure nothing will go wrong.” He continued, voice firm and eyes as sharp as the blade. “If I don’t see you or what belongs to me there, I will make sure to return and retrieve both with my own hands.”

The man had no reply, only a short nod, too scared of tempting the other any further. Wonwoo himself wasn’t sure if he was more scared of the guns aimed at them, or of Jeonghan himself. He knew it was all an act, but damn he was glad he was on his friend’s side.

After a moment or two of only his heartbeat echoing in his ears, Wonwoo watched as Jeonghan pulled back the weapon, pushing the knife back into the plastic tip of the umbrella by pushing it against the floor.

“Will you all put your guns down? This isn’t a rodeo show.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, waiting for the man to order his bodyguards to lower their weapons before looking back at his two friends and giving them a small nod. With a bit of hesitation, they both followed their actions, lowering their guns as well.

“I’ll be going my way.” Jeonghan snapped his fingers to call them over as he turned to make his leave. Wonwoo wondered if he was enjoying his boss status a bit too much now. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, as I am sure it will be on Friday.”

He flashed another smile at the man, one that stood between friendly and threatening. The other didn’t seem one bit amused, if anything offended in his own establishment, but Wonwoo knew that would work in their advantage now. Even if angered, he would be too proud to back out after that little show. They’d get him Friday.

“I’d appreciate if none of you told Coups or Shua about that little thing.” Jeonghan asked as they entered the elevator, the same one Wonwoo had assured was rid of any recording devices when they first got in. They had the meeting without any of their earpieces on, just to be sure they wouldn’t be caught.

“I don’t know, that’s gonna cost you after that name comment.” Soonyoung grumpily replied.

For Wonwoo, however, he wouldn’t ask for anything in return. After that performance, he’d try to stay out of Jeonghan’s bad mood in the future.

“How about dinner on me?” The eldest suggested with a smile that made it seem like the last hour hadn’t even happened.

Truly, Yoon Jeonghan was a force to be reckoned with.

 

 

——

 

 

Three days in and Jihoon didn’t know whose genius idea it was to rotate the tasks between members. Oh wait, he did know. It was Soonyoung’s. The same person to whom all major ideas that caused him pain or complete discomfort belonged. Soonyoung.

The first sign that the system wasn’t working so well was when Hansol decided to clean the bathroom and accidentally dropped half their toothbrushes in the toilet. That was already on the first day. They had to brush their teeth with their fingers after lunch and go shopping for new brushes. Hansol was the one to pay.

The second sign came on the second day. Chan was in charge of dish washing, yet he was too eager to go to the arcade after lunch. That resulted in him not only rushing their meal to get the dishes done already, but cutting Jihoon off on what was only his second bowl of rice. The third sign came in the evening of that same day, when Seungkwan took out his attempt on homemade kimchi only to serve it as what was possibly he blandest dish Jihoon had ever eaten. Thankfully, he managed to salvage it later on.

Still, no one can blame Jihoon for his patience already being low when the third day arrived. Despite his temper, he’s not someone to ask for much. He’s a simple guy, who likes simple things, like a warm bowl of rice and beating Mingyu on Fifa. Though the one thing he treasured above everything else, was his sleep.

And unfortunately, Boo Seungkwan was in charge of making the beds that day.

“Rise and shine, honey pie!” The younger shouted brightly, pulling the covers off his shorter hyung.

Jihoon only grunted in response, curling himself up and folding his pillow around his head as a shield. Whoever put Seungkwan in charge of making the beds would have hell to be dealt with later.

“Come on, hyung, I gotta make the beds.” Seungkwan insisted, shaking the other.

“Make them when I wake up.” Jihoon grunted, willing himself to weight 10 pounds more so the other could stop shaking him.

“But it’s already noon! And technically, if you’re talking you’re up, so.” The younger complained.

“I’m sleeptalking.” Jihoon lied.

“Seriously, hyung. It’s a lovely day out for you to… Stick yourself in your office and waste daylight.” Despite his sleepiness, Jihoon couldn’t miss the irony in Seungkwan’s tone.

“I’m not moving.” The older stated grumpily.

“But the bed…!” Seungkwan whined. Jihoon knew he was just trying to help out, and God forbid Seungkwan ever did anything less than his best. If it was Wonwoo, he’d be claiming Jihoon as a lost cause on the first try. And in Jihoon’s opinion that was why they had such a great friendship.

“Just make the bed with me in it.” The shorter mumbled, nuzzling himself more into the mattress, never even bothering to open his eyes. “Then I’ll finally be one with the bed. All my dreams will come true.”

“Hyung, you’re being over dramatic.” Seungkwan crossed his arms, and this time Jihoon bothered to glance at the other with a look of disbelief in his eyes. Him? Dramatic?

“ _Really?_ ” Jihoon raised a brow. “Is the bowl calling the kettle black?”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Hyung, it’s the pot calling the kettle black. Bowls aren’t even black.”

“How do you know? There are black bowls.” Jihoon pointed out, closing his eyes once again to attempt to retrieve the hint of sleep he still had.

“That’s not the point.” Seungkwan insisted, huffing. “Just get up already!”

Jihoon ignored him, snuggling more against his pillow. “Or what?”

“Or…” Seungkwan smirked, though Jihoon didn’t see. “I’ll start singing.”

“…You wouldn’t.” Jihoon glanced at the other once again. He wasn’t that crazy.

“Is that a challenge?” Seungkwan raised a brow. After a moment of silence, he took a deep breath, before starting to belt out the pitchiest high note Jihoon had ever had the displeasure to hear.

“Okay, okay, stop!” Jihoon shouted, pushing himself up quickly. “Fine, I’m up! Are you happy?” He glared at his friend.

“Thank you, hyung!” Seungkwan smiled sweetly, but oh, not even a Seungkwan smile could ease the nerves of a sleepy Jihoon.

“I’m up!” Jihoon announced again, slamming the bedroom door open. In the living room, Wonwoo, Minghao and Soonyoung stopped whatever they were doing, looking up at the shortest.

“Is everyone finally fucking satisfied?” He grit his teeth, looking back to glare at Seungkwan who watched from behind. “I’ll be in my office, staying busy by being _awake_.”

As he stomped his way off to his office, he could practically sense the other’s eyes fleeting between the two of them.

“Why do I have a feeling I’ll have to sleep with an eye open tonight?” Seungkwan mumbled, voice laced with a bit of fear.

“If I were you I wouldn’t even be sleeping.” Wonwoo warned, followed by a snicker from Minghao and a whine from the youngest.

And that was all Jihoon heard before slamming his office door behind him.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 10 / 2016_

 

This wasn’t the kind of party they were used to frequenting. Not that they ever went to any parties, to Seungkwan’s dismay. He had, though, been to a few in his school years. None of which that consisted of black tie and champagne, if anyone asked. Yet unfortunately, they weren’t there for fun.

Seungkwan at least had the opportunity to sip on some of the sparkling alcohol. He wasn’t even supposed to be there in the first place. He didn’t go into missions much, he just helped out in case someone got hurt, or looked out for them in general. But they needed an extra person to keep a look out for their target.

Said target was the host of the party, a huge fundraiser for the poor. To anyone else, he’d seem like a great guy. Educated, charming, young and with a great agenda. And of course, currently running for city council. Yet what no one else knew was that all the money raised would all go to the people he bought off to guarantee his election.

So why was Seungkwan here? He needed to keep an eye on the guy while Soonyoung and Jihoon broke into his office to hack into his computer and transfer all the money to actual charities. Perhaps they wouldn’t expose the man, but they’d surely teach him a lesson.

Thankfully, he wasn’t alone. Minghao and Jun had snuck in as body guards, and Seungcheol was there as a guest as well. Vernon was supposed to be in his place, but he had hurt his ankle, and they decided Seungkwan would be the best replacement. Seungkwan, however, did not agree with that decision.

“Easy on the champagne Boo, you’re not much help drunk.” Jeonghan was the one monitoring the mission this time, and he seemed to be enjoying it a bit too much.

“I’m not much help sober either. I still think I shouldn’t be here.” The boy mumbled against his glass, looking around. He wasn’t cut out for this. He didn’t have nerves of steel or any of that shit. Sure, he could do a suture in the blink of an eye and push a dislodged shoulder back in place in his sleep. But playing pretend at a big fancy gala? What if he screwed up?

“You’re doing great.” Hansol sounded through the earbud, making Seungkwan wonder if he somehow read minds.

“ _You_ should be resting.” He pointed out, taking a look around to try to seem natural.

“I can lie down and listen to you guys at the same time, you know?” His friend pointed out, though Seungkwan decided not to answer to that.

He was at least thankful no one else in the party seemed to want to make conversation with him. He tried leaning a bit to the side and supporting himself against one of the dining tables to at least look more casual, but it immediately stumbled and he almost shrieked. Recovering quickly, if a bit clumsily, he decided to put his hand on his waist instead.

“What are you, a teapot?” Seungcheol grinned, and the younger turned to his left to see the leader standing next to him.

“Haha, hilarious.” Seungkwan frowned, finishing his champagne.

“Relax, we don’t even have to do much.” Seungcheol assured him. “We just need to–“

“Create a diversion in case the guy get suspicious. Yes, I know.” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “But I don’t know _how_ to do that. I don’t know how to call attention to myself.”

Seungcheol looked at him with a brow raised. “You’re kidding, right?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Seungkwan glared at him.

“Guys, something’s up.” The8’s voice sounded in their ears, and they quickly looked around to spot the target. A couple of security guards were talking to him before he began excusing himself. “I think someone heard something, they’re sending us upstairs.”

“No, not yet!” Jihoon warned. “We’re still transferring the money, if someone comes in here we’re screwed.”

“Well, we can’t hold him back, he’ll know something.” Minghao pointed out.

“He sent one of the guards up, I’m going after him to intercept.” Jun voiced out, and Seungkwan looked to the corner of the room, watching the older sneak out after the guard.

Jihoon and Soonyoung were in the man’s office on the second floor. If he decided to go up, they’d either have to stop the transfer to get out, or fight him off. Neither of those options were ideal, honestly. They wanted to keep the party going, wanted to keep him from having any chance of recovering his money.

They needed a diversion.

Looking at his empty glass, Seungkwan quickly put it down before stealing the leader’s half full one.

“You!” He shouted as loudly as he could, before tossing the champagne at Seungcheol’s face. Oh, he knew he wasn’t getting away with that later, but he had no time to think of it.

“How could you do that? You were my friend!” He sighed dramatically, causing everyone in the room to look at both him and a more than confused Seungcheol.

“What are you–?“ The leader tried asking, though Seungkwan quickly slapped him. Yep, he was screwed.

“What is going on?” He could hear Hansol over the earbud, but he just kept going.

“You slept with Consuela!” Seungkwan exclamed.

“Consuela?” Seungcheol’s brows furrowed together as he tried to understand what was happening. Honestly, for a leader it was taking him a while to catch on. Perhaps the old age was finally taking a toll on him.

“Excuse me, is something going on here?” The voice belonged to no one other than their target, now approaching them with care. Well, at least his stunt was working.

“Candidate Kim!” Seungkwan exclaimed. “Only the worst kind of _betrayal!_ ” He gasped loudly, trying to keep a straight face as he heard Hansol laughing in the background.

“This man, my best friend, slept with my wife.” Seungkwan pointed his finger at Seungcheol, while also clinging to their host. “And to think I let him hold our child. My little Jasmine! Ah, the disgrace.”

“Couldn’t you at least keep the names regional?” Hansol snickered, but Seungkwan admitted he didn’t really think of that. Perhaps he was watching too many Mexican soap operas in the hospital’s waiting room.

“Never mind the names, keep going. We’re almost done here.” Jihoon instructed.

“Well sir, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.” The host tried resolving the conflict while also trying to pull himself away from Seungkwan, though that only made him hold on tighter.

“My poor, poor Jasmine. A child of a broken marriage. All because of that man!” Seungkwan scoffed, glaring at the leader.

“It’s alright, why don’t we take this outside?” The man attempted at his best sympathetic smile, slowly moving the two towards the exit. Seungkwan did try fighting him a bit, making himself heavier and leaning against the man while sobbing loudly. Or poorly pretending to.

“It’s okay, we’re done.” Soonyoung let them now, and Seungkwan kept himself from sighing.

“Actually sir, don’t bother with us, I think I’ll just be leaving. Thank you so much. This was a lovely party, if only my heart wasn’t too broken to enjoy it.” Seungkwan sighed dramatically as he finally let go of the host, bowing his head a couple of times and leaving through the large wooden doors with Seungcheol. They waited a moment after the doors closed behind them, only to make sure the coast was clear.

“…Was that really necessary?” The leader asked him, and only now Seungkwan noticed his drenched shirt and red cheek. Oh well.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Seungkwan smiled brightly, hoping that the other would overlook his little show.

“I guess so.” Seungcheol grinned, patting him on the back. “Good job.” He grabbed his shoulder.

“Don’t listen to him, Kwan. That was awesome.” He could practically hear Hansol’s grin, if that was ever possible.

“Thanks.” Seungkwan chuckled awkwardly as the man in front of him squeezed his shoulder. “Uh, hyung?”

“Yes?” Seungcheol’s grin seemed to turn from warm to wicked, and Seungkwan could feel his throat closing up.

“You’re not mad, right?” He let out another soft laugh. “I mean, it was just a job…”

“Of course I’m not mad.” The leader laughed as well, though he squeezed his shoulder tighter.

Seungkwan gulped. Yeah, he was screwed.

 

 

——

 

 

The five days had passed, and on the sixth day, Mingyu was turning the key to open the apartment door. It had been a fun trip. Short, but definitely worth it. Of course he felt a little bittersweet now, the new and warm memories giving him a sense of satisfaction and early nostalgia. Still, he was thankful nonetheless.

The tall boy stepped into the apartment, putting down his heavy backpack with a huff before starting to take off his old sneakers. “Hey guys, I’m–“

“Mingyu!” Seungkwan suddenly announced as he walked out of the kitchen. Before Mingyu could reply, the younger was hugging him tightly, almost knocking him over. “Mingyu’s back!”

“What?” Soonyoung called now, rushing out of the kitchen. “Mingyu!”

“Oh, hey, I’m–“ And again, he was interrupted, this time by Soonyoung’s hug.

“We’re so glad you’re back!” Seungkwan called loudly.

“Uhm, yeah, I’m glad I’m back too.” Mingyu mumbled, looking at the two clinging to his frame. “Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes as he too joined them now. “They’re just overeacting.” Mingyu felt like the ‘as usual’ was implied. “Welcome back, bro.”

“Thanks.” Mingyu grinned as the older patted him in the back.

“Alright, that’s enough guys, come on.” Wonwoo huffed, pulling the other two away.

“We’re not overreacting!” Seungkwan defended, pursing his lips. “If you knew what Hansol did to the bathroom, you wouldn’t call it dramatic.”

“…What did Hansol did to the bathroom?” Mingyu raised a brow, fearing the answer.

“You don’t need to know.” Minghao assured him now as he walked through the front door with two plastic bags. “Welcome, by the way.” The boy grinned, Mingyu returning with a smile of his own.

“What’s in those?” He asked, eyeing the bags in his hand.

“Groceries and fried chicken.” Minghao raised one of the bags. “We gave up on cooking since that genius over there burned the big frying pan.” He pointed at Soonyoung, who gave an uneasy smile in return.

“You burned my frying pan?!” Mingyu raised his voice at the older.

“I didn’t burn it!” Soonyoung defended. “I melted it, it’s different.” He corrected, as if that was any better.

“How the hell do you melt somethings that’s supposed to go over fire?” Mingyu scoffed.

“I don’t know, I just did!” Soonyoung whined. “I was boiling some water for the pasta…”

“On a frying pan?!” Mingyu groaned, pushing his hair back. “Soonyoung, you don’t make pasta on a damn frying pan!”

“Well how was I supposed to know that?!” The older complained.

“Just go put these things away before you wake up Jihoon-hyung.” Minghao shoved a bag towards Soonyoung, who grumpily obeyed.

“I better go with him to make sure he doesn’t melt anything else.” Wonwoo decided, Seungkwan going with him as well to help.

“…Is there anything else I should know before seeing the rest of the house?” Mingyu raised, looking back at his friend.

“Not that I remember.” He admitted, tilting his head a bit. “I mean, Chan tried to do the laundry once and he almost flooded the apartment, but Jeonghan already fixed everything. And he decided to double the baby talk for a month as punishment.” He snickered. “Oh, and Jihoon almost killed Seungkwan, but Seungcheol talked him out of it, so it’s fine.”

“…Huh.” Mingyu nodded a bit. He wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or worried.

“How was the trip?” The younger asked then, walking over to the coffee table. He put the takeout bag down before sitting on the couch, leaning forward to get the styrofoam case.

“Uh? Ah.” Mingyu nodded again, following the other and sitting next to him. “It was great! I mean, it rained for the first couple of days, so we had to stay in the cabin a lot. It was funny though, cause my sister’s hair gets huge and messy in the rain and it’s hilarious.”

“You’re a mean brother.” Minghao snorted, handing him a piece of chicken.

“She’s not that much better you know, she threw me into the mud.” He pointed out with a frown, taking a bite of the chicken.

“By the sound of it, you deserved it.” Minghao grinned.

“You’re sounding too much like her.” Mingyu grumpily replied with his mouth full. “Is this from that place next to the arcade?” His brows furrowed in curiosity as he finished the piece he had, only to take another. Damn, that tasted amazing.

“Yeah. I thought you said you liked it.” Mingyu sensed some doubt in the other’s tone.

“I do.” He reassured him. “It’s my favorite.”

“Good.” Minghao mumbled quietly, and Mingyu had to hide a smile as he looked at his friend. Minghao had been the last one to join their group, and Mingyu felt like he still hid a lot of himself, even if they were getting close pretty quickly. But seeing him do things like this, going out of his way to show his appreciation, just proved he really was a good friend.

Perhaps Mingyu should’ve teased him a bit, Minghao certainly would have if it was him, but he chose not to. He figured it was hard enough let his guard down as he did, and Mingyu didn’t want to scare him away. This was nice, he didn’t want to ruin it.

“You know I don’t…” Minghao started, licking his lips. “I mean, you know I don’t want to be mean to you, right?”

Mingyu blinked, not understanding where that came from. “Yeah…?”

“I mean,” Minghao sighed, grabbing some napkins from the bag to wipe his greasy fingers. “The guys said I can be a bit… Sassy. And I know that, it’s nothing new.”

“Okay.” Mingyu nodded a bit, still trying to understand what Minghao was trying to say. “But?”

“But,” The younger fiddled with the napkin, scrunching it up. “You know I don’t do it to be mean, right? Like, I don’t know why I do it. It’s just, how I am. If I’m comfortable, I act like that. I don’t want you to think I dislike you, it’s actually really…” He chewed on his lip. “Like, I only do it so much with you because I’m comfortable around you, I don’t know. So I guess I’m sorry, if I made you feel bad or something.”

Mingyu blinked a couple of times, watching the other. He never expected that at all. Not that he ever wanted an apology, he knew Minghao never meant to hurt him with his words, and he honestly never did.

“It’s okay, I get it, really. I never felt that way about it, believe me.” Mingyu smiled softly. “I actually kinda like it, to be honest.”

“Like it?” Minghao frowned a bit.

“Yeah, like, I like the way you act with me, you know?” Mingyu admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Not the smartest idea, given his fingers were still greasy. “‘Cause I never have to wonder whether you’re upset or not, or if you’re just pretending to be okay. You’re honest, and I like it. Sure we argue a bunch, but I’d rather have stupid little arguments than act like everything’s fine when it actually isn’t.”

“Huh…” Minghao nodded a bit, looking ahead. “Thanks. I guess that makes sense.”

“You guess?” Mingyu half grinned.

“Well, yeah. ‘Cause let’s be real, you’ve always seemed like a bit of a masochist.” Minghao smirked, bumping shoulders with him.

“Yah, we were having a moment here, did you have to ruin it?” Mingyu groaned, making Minghao laugh.

“Just stop complaining and eat your chicken.” The younger chided, sitting back.

“I take it all back, you’re mean.” Mingyu mumbled, grabbing another piece of chicken.

“Cry-baby.” Minghao snickered. “I really am happy you had fun on your trip though.”

Mingyu sat back as well, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “Thanks, Hao.”

“But can you promise me one thing?” His friend looked up at him.

“What?” Mingyu blinked.

“Next time, please take me with you?” Minghao sighed. “If I have to be surrounded by those idiots again I’ll probably be the one murdering someone.”

Mingyu laughed at that, elbowing his friend lightly. “I’ll think about it.”

As great as that trip had been though, Mingyu wasn’t sure he was going on another one so soon. It felt good to be home, after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!  
>  100 KUDOS !!!
> 
> Again, thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and enjoying this.
> 
> I also wanted to say, really, thank you SO MUCH for all the nice comments you've left. Really, knowing you guys like this fic and are interested in the story it's what makes me want to dedicate to it even more. So thank you.
> 
> I'm sorry if this is a bit of a "sillier" chapter, but I wanted to lighten the mood a bit and also show a bit more of what some of the guys did in the group. ( ~~also it feels nice to write some humor after all that angst~~ ) I'd actually finished this a few days ago, but given I didn't have much of the next couple of chapters and I don't wanna post them too far apart, I decided to wait a bit until I had some more.
> 
> Once more, thank you so much for reading/commenting/giving kudos. Please feel free to let me know what you think or correct any typos!!
> 
> P.S.: To any inspirits out there, I know it hurts, but sometimes the hardest choice is the best choice. Let's all keep supporting all our seven boys in this new path. <3


	9. My I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was almost like a weird physics law in their group. A Jeonghan at rest tended to remain at rest unless an external force acted upon him, and Junhui never got hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .
> 
>  
> 
> I'm sorry-

 

_\-- / 02 / 2017_

 

Jun never got hurt. He just didn’t.

It was almost like a weird physics law in their group. A Jeonghan at rest tended to remain at rest unless an external force acted upon him, and Junhui never got hurt.

It wasn’t as if it was a bad thing, of course. It was just surprising. After all, they were used to Mingyu hurting something because of clumsiness every other mission, and Wonwoo getting sick whenever they got too busy. With the amount of fighting the two Chinese members had to do in missions, one would assume they’d at least get a bruise or two during work. And sometimes, Minghao did. But not Junhui.

Jihoon watched the screen as the law proved itself true when his friend faced a couple of bodyguards on his through the building. Even as he fought against two men clearly bigger than him, he dodged every single hit as if it was the easiest thing in the world. When the first man charged at him, Jun used the guy’s own weight to throw him against the nearest wall.

“Jun, behind you.” Jihoon warned him as he saw the other man follow after him with what looked like a crowbar.

At that same moment Jun fell on his back, only to get back up without using his hands. Jihoon doubted that was even necessary, but he knew how the other liked giving a bit of a show.

“Thanks Woozi.” Jihoon could almost hear the grin in that, and he tried to let it not get to him. It wouldn’t get to him. There was no reason for it to get to him.

“Just get out of there already, The8 needs your help.” Jihoon shook his head lightly before looking at the screen on the far left.

“I don’t need anybody’s help, I’m fine. Just buy me some time.” Minghao pointed out.

“You’re dangling from a rope surrounded by lasers, how is that fine?” Jihoon raised a brow, not even surprised by the other’s stubbornness.

“I can avoid the lasers.” Minghao complained, though he had been ordered already not to move until Jun deactivated the security system.

“Don’t you fucking move.” Wonwoo warned, waiting outside the casino with Seungkwan. “You activate that alarm and we won’t get another chance to get that hard drive.”

As blunt as he was, Jihoon knew he was right. There was a lot at stake in this mission. So much so that practically all of them were in on it this time. Jeonghan, Vernon and Mingyu were working as undercover clients in the casino, only to keep an eye on things. Seungcheol was in there as a security guard, keeping an eye on the former three. Wonwoo and Seungkwan were waiting in the getaway car in case anything happened, and Jisoo and Seokmin couldn’t be there because they had shifts at the hospital.

Chan was keeping a look out on the roof, where The8 had gone in through the vents. The thief was to retrieve a hard drive with gigabytes of blackmail on innocent families that owed money to the business. They knew that if they somehow screwed this up, the drive would be relocated. And it hadn’t been easy to locate it in the first place.

Soonyoung was the one in charge of sneaking in and deactivating the security system, which he did at first. Only as soon as he did so, they found out they had a second switch, so to speak, in a room on the other side of the building. Jihoon blamed himself for that, but he also knew self pity wouldn’t help them now. It was just the routine ‘something wrong’ that had to happen during a mission. Thankfully, Jun was pretty close to the room, and now he was on his way there, leaving two men knocked out behind him. Once again, without a scratch on his body.

“I’m not Mingyu, I can do this without activating an alarm.” Minghao put it dryly.

“Hey, that was _one_ time!” Mingyu defended.

“Yeah, but hyung, you got a lot of inconvenient ‘one time’s.” Chan spoke with innocence, though Jihoon could swear that kid was growing sassier by the day. “Like that _one time_ you broke our replacement decoy, and that _one time_ you broke the headlight on the car, and that one time–“

“Okay, Chan, we got it.” Mingyu spoke through gritted teeth, probably wishing he could give the younger a proper piece of his mind. Not that he ever would, Mingyu was far too soft for his own good.

“Calm down, I’m coming to the rescue.” Junhui stated, and Jihoon could watch him in the corridors. “You can call me prince charming, if you’d like.” And a choir of groans followed.

“No one would like that.” Jihoon frowned.

“You’re only saying that because you’re too flustered by my charm.” Jun insisted.

“No, I’m pretty sure no one would like that.” Jihoon repeated in a less than amused tone.

“Yeah, I agree with him.” Wonwoo added.

“Alright, you can also call me prince of China–“

“It’s the second door to your left, after the turn.” Jihoon interrupted to give the instructions, and hopefully to keep him from causing another wave of second hand embarrassment. “Be careful though, I can see someone in there.”

“Guard?” Jun asked, now more than focused as he reached the room.

“I don’t know, looks a bit too young. Doesn’t seem to have an uniform either.” Jihoon squinted at the screen on the right, leaning closer. He couldn’t see much,given he was turned away from the camera. But something about it all just felt… Odd. He wasn’t even working, he was just standing there, almost as if he was waiting for something.

“Jun.” He called once again. “Be careful, alright? I don’t know why, but that guy’s looking a bit suspicious.”

“Got it, I’m going in.” Jihoon could see Jun kicking the door open, and he didn’t know why he felt so nervous.

His friend had done that so many times before, not to mention he had just fought two much bigger guys. But even as he tried to reason with himself, he still felt his stomach dropping, his throat getting dry.

As soon as Jun got in though, the man turned around. And just like that, it was like the video had turned into a still image. Jun was frozen, not moving a single muscle, as if he had seen a ghost. Jihoon had no idea why he stood there, and he was almost shouting at his friend to do something already.

But as he watched, he noticed the other man hadn’t attacked him either. In fact, he didn’t even seem surprised. Frowning, Jihoon watched him, trying to make a face out of blurry pixels. He turned on the audio in the room, hoping to catch something, but they weren’t even speaking. Not until…

“Hey, Junnie.”

Fuck.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 12 / 2014_

 

“So, this is where you come to brood?” A slightly familiar voice called, snapping the boy out of his own thoughts. Without wasting a second, Minghao was back up on his feet with a knife against the man’s throat.

“Woah, okay! Not brooding, definitely not brooding!” The other male raised his arms in surrender. Now Minghao recognized him. He was one of the weirdos that was trying to recruit him.

“What do you want?” Minghao frowned, keeping the knife in place and the threat in his voice.

“Uh, definitely not a fight, that’s for sure.” The taller chuckled, keeping his hands up. “I just wanna talk. Really, I didn’t even bring anything with me.”

“And why should I believe you?” Minghao raised a brow.

“Because of my great personality and charming smile?” He grinned.

Minghao didn’t even bother replying, looking the other up and down. “Turn around.” He ordered, surprised the guy followed through. He then quickly patted him down, checking for weapons. Well, at least he was telling the truth.

“Wow, you could at least ask for my name first.” The other teased, though again, Minghao didn’t bother.

“Do you always talk this much?” The shorter complained, sitting back down on the grass still wet from the morning dew.

“Only when the company’s great.” The other smiled widely, sitting down next to Minghao. Damn, he wanted to punch him. “I’m Junhui by the way. Or Jun, for short.”

“I didn’t ask.” Minghao pointed out.

“But you wanted to.” Jun winked, and now Minghao _really_ wanted to punch him.

“I want to know why you’re here instead.” Minghao pointed out, grabbing a rock next to him to toss it into the river in front of them.

He liked coming here. It was the one place where he didn’t feel so far from home. It was a river, after all. There were rivers everywhere, grass everywhere. If he just imagined hard enough, he was right back in China where none of this mess had ever happened. Unfortunately, no matter how much he wished for that, it was still just his imagination. And he was still sitting on a riverbed with an idiot next to him.

“I thought you knew already.” Jun shrugged, plucking out some of the grass blades next to him.

“So you’re here to recruit me?” Minghao raised a brow, looking back at the other.

They had been trying to for the last month. It started with them simply intercepting one of Minghao’s mission. And instead of killing him or going their own way, for some damn reason they decided to turn him into this rescue mission. And at practically every job since, they had been there to intercept him.

“Not really. I’m here to talk.” Jun admitted, though Minghao wasn’t sure he believed him.

“Talk me into what?” He snickered, looking ahead.

“Hopefully, leaving.” The other smiled. “If not, then just talking is fine.”

“And why would I listen to you?” Minghao pointed out, watching the river.

“Because I’ve been where you’ve been.” Minghao looked back at him then, blinking a couple of times.

“I knew I knew your face from somewhere!” Minghao snickered. Sure, his hair was different, but Minghao had been shown pictures of him plenty of times. “You’re a deserter.”

“Deserter?” Jun chuckled. “Is that what they’re calling us now?”

“ _Us?_ ” Minghao’s brows furrowed with confusion, and if he knew the other any better, he’d swear he could see something dark taking over his features, but it was gone as soon as it came.

“Do you really believe I’m some kind of evil traitor?” Jun asked instead.

“Nah, I never bought that.” Minghao admitted, shrugging. “But that doesn’t mean you’re any better than them.”

“Maybe not.” Jun pushed his longer hair back. “But are they really that great in the first place?”

Minghao snickered this time, shrugging. He did have a point. He knew he was just trying to tempt him, but so far he hadn’t told any lies.

“Minghao, right?” Jun asked, taking his silence as consent. “Neither of us are kids anymore, we know the idea they sold to us isn’t true. They just use people like us.”

“I know that, I’m not stupid.” Minghao frowned. “But what makes you any better?” He pointed out, looking at the other. “What, you want me in your little group because my abilities are great? Because you need someone with my ‘special skills’?” He had heard it all before.

“No, we just want you out.” Jun put it bluntly.

“What?” Minghao blinked.

“I heard all that talk before too, Minghao. I know how it goes.” Jun snickered, shaking his head lightly. “We don’t want you for that. You don’t even need to work with us if you don’t want to, you can go your own way. It’s just that we know it’s hard making it in a different country without a home and no job.”

Minghao licked his lips, rubbing the back of his neck. “Then why help me?” He shouldn’t have used that word, not helped. That implied he needed help, that implied they were better than him.

“I told you, we want you out. I want you out.” Jun repeated, and perhaps he was a great actor, but Minghao couldn’t spot the lie in his words. Or maybe he was just getting rusty.

“Why?” He asked again, sighing.

“Because I’ve been there.” He sighed as well, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “And you can choose to believe me not, but I can tell you that what I have now is a hundred times better than anything I had before, in that place.”

Minghao watched as the taller pushed himself up, intending to leave him with more thoughts than when he came. “So say I decide I want to join, which I haven’t.” Not yet, at least. “How do I find you?”

“That’s alright, we’ll find you.” Jun grinned, giving him a wave before turning around. “That’s what the tracker is for anyways.”

“What?!” Minghao exclaimed, jumping up on his feet.

“I’m just kidding!” Jun chuckled, turning back around to face him as he walked backwards. “I just had a feeling I’d find you here.” Minghao wasn’t sure he believed him, but he’d certainly check for trackers when he got back to his room.

“You can ask for Joshua at the hospital on the 5th with the 3rd.” The taller grinned, turning once again to finally make his leave. “He’ll know who you are.”

Minghao decided not to question that as he watched the other leave. He had too many questions in his mind already.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 12 / 2016_

 

“Hey Cheol, got a minute?” Jihoon asked as he opened the door to their shared bedroom. He already knew the older would be there, following his usual routine of sorting out through possible clients now that they were in between jobs.

“Yeah, sure, come on in.” Just as Jihoon expected, the leader was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed and a laptop open in front of him. He also had a small pile of papers next to the laptop, and a pen behind his right ear.

Making his way inside, the younger closed the door behind himself before plopping down on the bed closest to the other. He pulled one foot up, half sitting on it as he watched his friend work.

“Busy?” Jihoon asked, wondering if it was a bad time.

“Nah, it’s fine.” Seungcheol assured him, typing a few things with his keyboard before closing the laptop. “I need a break anyway.”

“Nothing good yet?” Jihoon admitted he wasn’t the best at making conversation, but he wasn’t eager to jump into the subject he actually came to talk about either. So easing it in seemed like the best choice. Some would call it stalling, but ‘easing it in’ sounded better.

“Well, nothing particularly bad.” Seungcheol admitted, shrugging a bit. “But we’re not running out of money anytime soon, so I figured we could wait a bit to see if something bigger comes along.”

“I see.” The younger nodded lightly. It made sense. Smaller jobs were nice, relatively easier too, but they weren’t always worth it.

“Plus, I figured the guys could use a little break.” Seungcheol reasoned, smiling softly as he took the pen out from behind his ear, setting it down with the papers.

“Am I not included in that?” Jihoon raised a brow accusingly.

“Please, giving you a break would be like giving Hansol a broom. You wouldn’t know what to do with it.” Seungcheol snickered far too knowingly.

“Touché.” Jihoon let out a small chuckle. Well, he had to admit, the older wasn’t too wrong. It’s not like Jihoon didn’t appreciate some time off, but he just felt bored when he had no work to do.

“But anyway, what did you wanna ask me?” Seungcheol turned to face him properly now, legshanging off the side of the mattress, his feet now touching the floor.

“How did you know I came to ask you anything?” Jihoon blinked, a bit surprised.

“Because when you come to complain you’re not half as polite.” Seungcheol smirked, watching his friend frown. “And I know you, Jihoonie. I can see when something’s bothering you.”

“It’s not bothering me.” Jihoon’s frown softened and his shoulders sagged. “I’m just… Confused.”

“Alright…” Seungcheol nodded encouragingly, allowing Jihoon to take his time, which he was very grateful for.

Everybody knew he wasn’t the best at expressing his feelings, and he had been struggling with them for a few weeks now. He had actually thought about going to Soonyoung for advice instead of Seungcheol quite a few times before. Soonyoung already knew he was an emotionally constipated mess after all, and talking to him was much easier. However, he also knew Soonyoung would make too much of a big deal out of this, would probably get emotional and definitely too invested. Jihoon didn’t want that. He wanted someone who could just help him figure this out.

And he knew Seungcheol could be that someone. He had helped him before, maybe more times he’d like to admit. Even though Jihoon could’ve been a bit of a stubborn hard headed kid in the beginning, later he learned that the leader was actually a great person to talk to. He didn’t judge, he didn’t rush, and he cared. Plus, in this case, he had a bit more experience than Soonyoung.

“Like, with Jeonghan and Jisoo, how did you guys… You know?” Jihoon asked, fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater that were far too big for him. He wasn’t sure how to ask that, so he hoped his friend understood.

“Oh.” Seungcheol’s brows raised in surprise, though thankfully, Jihoon didn’t spot one bit of judgement. “Well, it depends.” He tilted his head a bit. “Depends on our moods, on who wants what. Sometimes Shua is very busy so Jeonghan and I like calling while–“

“Oh God, no, _stop!_ ” Jihoon’s eyes widened once he realized what the other was talking about, wondering how in the flaming hell Seungcheol ever thought he would want to know about _that_. He raised his hands towards the other as a stop sign, shaking his head quickly. “Stop! Just, no. Don’t. Not that. Nope. _Ever_.”

Seungcheol let out a relieved breath, along with a light chuckle. “Well, that would’ve been awkward. But you know, if you want to know, it’s okay to ask. Though Jeonghan would probably enjoy explaining it more…”

“Seungcheol, no offense, but if I ever ask about _that_ , please send me to the closest mental health professional because something is clearly wrong with me.” Jihoon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Alright, alright, don’t be such a baby.” The older snorted. “Look on the bright side, I’m sure now whatever you wanted to ask won’t be half as embarrassing.” He pointed out.

“Nothing will ever be.” Jihoon mumbled, pushing a hand through his hair. He had to admit his friend was right though, even if it didn’t make things that much easier. “I just wanted to ask how you knew…? You know, that you liked them.”

“Well,” Seungcheol bit his lip, trying to think. “I can’t really pinpoint one moment, you know? With Hannie we always kind of felt something, I guess. At first I thought I was just annoyed at all the teasing,” The older snorted. “But later I realized that despite all that, I really liked how happy he got whenever we were together. And seeing him happy made me really happy.”

Jihoon wasn’t a romantic, he’d never been, but even he could admit that seeing Seungcheol smile as he talked about the other two was kind of sweet. “And when Shua came along, it all just clicked together. I mean, sure it was confusing as hell at first, and we had to do a whole lot of talking, but it was like trying out something you’d never had before only to find out you can never be without it again.”

The elder sighed, pushing his hair back. “I guess what I’m saying is just… I found out when I realized that I was happier than I thought I _could_ be. And then that happy perhaps wasn’t exactly the word for what I was feeling.”

“Huh…” Jihoon hummed, lying back on the bed. As simple as it was, he still wasn’t sure what that felt like, what _he_ felt like.

“Jihoonie,” Seungcheol called back his attention as Jihoon snapped out of his thoughts. “Is this about Jun?”

“What?!” Jihoon sat back up quickly, almost giving himself a head rush. He didn’t know if he was pale from almost fainting or red from embarrassment. “How did you– Who… I swear to God if Soonyoung–“

“Soonyoung didn’t do anything, don’t kill him.” Seungcheol chuckled, raising his hands to calm the other. “We kinda… Guessed.”

“We?” So more people knew? _Great_.

“Well, Jeonghan, Joshua and I.” Seungcheol admitted. “Though we only found out recently.”

“How did you find out recently if I didn’t know until _now_?” Jihoon groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“Wait, do you mean you don’t like him?” Seungcheol blinked.

“ _I don’t know_.” The younger sighed, looking up at his friend. “I don’t know, okay? That’s why I came to talk…” He admitted, and given how warm his cheeks felt, he was betting on red of embarrassment now. Once again, Seungcheol didn’t ask, instead he gave him time, and yet again Jihoon was really fucking grateful.

He began picking at his own sleeves again, looking down at his fingers. “I’m not like most people okay?” He sighed, trying to organize his thoughts. “I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach, I don’t hear jingle bells or whatever, I don’t get my palms sweaty… I don’t know what it is that everyone talks about. I don’t _get_ those. And I don’t wanna make a big deal out of nothing.”

“But you do feel something?” Seungcheol practically read his mind, and Jihoon nodded a bit. “What does he make you feel?”

“He… Confuses me. Everyone else is simple, but he confuses me.” Jihoon admitted, looking up at the other. “I can’t tell what he’s thinking, and it’s kind of unnerving. He’s touchy, and he’s protective, and he’s too positive, and it should annoy me, but…”

“It doesn’t?” Seungcheol smiled softly, and Jihoon shook his head lightly.

“It feels like a weird adrenaline rush.” Even thinking about it made his heart begin to race again, annoying him as well. “It feels nice.” He finally admitted, looking down at his hands. Jun made him feel nice.

“Feelings don’t have rules, Jihoon. You don’t have to hear bells or feel butterflies.” Seungcheol reassured him, smiling small. “If he makes you feel nice, then he makes you feel nice. And if that means you like him, it doesn’t mean you’re making a big deal out of it. You have the right to feel the way you do, you know?”

“I know, I know.” Jihoon breathed in, and it did feel nice to hear those words. “But even if I do like him, like, how do I know if he feels the same? Or worse, what if he feels more? What if he wants bells and butterflies and I can’t give him any of that?” Jihoon’s voice lowered as he asked that last question, his fingertips still tugging and pinching the poor sleeves.

“Damn, you really thought of everything, huh?” Seungcheol’s eyes widened a bit.

“I’m a genius, Seungcheol. That’s what I do.” Jihoon grumbled.

“Well, then stop thinking so much.” Seungcheol pointed out. “First of all, maybe he likes you, maybe he doesn’t, but you’ll never know unless you ask.” Jihoon was going to interrupt, but Seungcheol didn’t let him. “Second of all, if he does like you, don’t you think he’ll like you for who you are?”

Jihoon parted his lips to speak, but nothing came out at first. He gulped quietly, shrugging a bit. “I just don’t want him to expect more than I can give.” He didn’t want to let anyone down.

“I think you’re not giving him enough credit.” Seungcheol reasoned.

“Why do I feel like I’m talking to Soonyoung again?” Jihoon frowned.

“Well, then he’s probably right.” Seungcheol smirked. “Just talk to him, alright? It’s Jun, he won’t make fun of you.”

“I know, I know.” The younger sighed.

“Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s mutual.” Seungcheol grinned. “Jeonghan even thought he’d confess first.”

“What?” Jihoon blinked.

“But if you do it first I get to brag about being right.” Seungcheol smirked, and this time Jihoon couldn’t help but throw a pillow at the other’s head.

“I’m glad my misery amuses you.” He deadpanned while Seungcheol laughed and avoided the pillow.

“Don’t be so sour.” The leader reprimanded, holding the pillow on his lap. “But I’m serious Jihoonie, talk to him.”

“ _Fine_ , I will.” Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“And don’t stall for months.” Seungcheol raised a brow.

Jihoon was ready to protest, but he knew his friend had a point. Seungcheol knew him too well. “Why do you care so much, anyway?”

“Because you deserve to be happy, Jihoonie.” The leader handed him back the pillow, Jihoon blinking as he took it. “You both do.”

 

 

——

 

 

Wonwoo didn’t know how long he had waited by the door. He had been woken up by their talk, and figured he should check if everything was fine. However, even if his Mandarin skills were probably less than zero, Wonwoo knew something was wrong. They were arguing, and he figured it was best to wait it out in the bedroom. Perhaps he should’ve gone back to bed, but something told him otherwise.

So he waited, giving the two some time after silence took over. He thought he might have even heard some sobs, but he convinced himself it was just his imagination. After all, it was late and he was tired. Still, he was a bit afraid to open the door, not knowing what he’d find. Sure, it was silly. It was just his nerves and his anxiety being weird again, but it still kept him from turning that knob.

Finally, he decided to face his baseless fears, pushing the door open.

Alright, that wasn’t so bad. Everything was in place, nothing was broken. He had seen worse arguments between Jihoon and Mingyu. Arguments that resulted in nasty bruises and perhaps a trauma of musical instruments. That was before his eyes fell on Jun, though.

His friend was sitting on the couch in the dark, his head lowered and elbows resting on his knees. Even if Wonwoo couldn’t see his face, he looked defeated, and it put a bitter taste in the back of his throat.

“Jun?” Wonwoo called as he walked out of the bedroom, his hair sticking up in weird angles and his old t-shirt hanging off his shoulder slightly. “Is everything alright? I heard you talking.”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” Jun mumbled, not bothering looking up at him. It wasn’t hard to read the lie there. This didn’t even look like Jun.

“Are you sure? You can tell me if something’s wrong.” Wonwoo asked again, his voice now softer.

Jun let out a soft chuckle, pushing his hair back. It was then that Wonwoo saw how red his cheeks were, how his fingers trembled in his hair. No, something wasn’t wrong. Everything was wrong.

Without thinking twice, Wonwoo approached him slowly, sitting down next to him on the couch. It didn’t even get a reaction from the other, who kept staring at the floor. The image was haunting, as if he was only a shell of his former self.

“What’s wrong?” Wonwoo tried asking again before looking around once more. “Jun… Jun, where’s Ming Ming?” He could swear he had heard the two of them before, but there was no sign of the other.

It was then that he saw his friend flinch, as if he had poked an open cut. Before he could ask anything else, Jun was wrapping his long arms tightly around his waist and burying his face on Wonwoo’s neck. He tensed up for a moment. He was used to his friend being clingy, everyone was. It was surprising at first, sure, how someone so tall could like hugs so much. But eventually they got used to it. Yet this didn’t feel like his usual clinginess. The man’s broad shoulders even felt small and frail as Wonwoo held him close.

“Jun…” Wonwoo mumbled, wondering what the hell had happened for his friend to get like this.

“He left.” His voice was low and tired, and Wonwoo was sure that if he wasn’t so close he would’ve missed it.

“What? Who left?” Wonwoo frowned. It couldn’t be true, right? “Ming Ming?”

Instead of replying, the other simply held on tighter, but Wonwoo got the message, though he still found it hard to believe him. Why would Ming Ming leave? He would never leave, not without Jun, he was sure. The two were inseparable. Yet why would Jun lie? Even if they loved playing jokes on each other, he’d never joke about something like this.

“Why did he leave?” Wonwoo asked softly, but again there was no reply.

He didn’t know what to feel. Ming Ming was his friend too, or at least that’s what he believed. But at the same time that he felt sad for his leave, he was furious at him. Because how could he go and leave Jun like that? No, he didn’t want Jun to go with him. He’d probably take it far worse, given how close they had gotten. But how could he do that to him? How could he break his friend like that?

“We should tell the others–“

“I’m tired.” Jun announced, pulling back while still avoiding Wonwoo’s gaze. “I think I’ll just sleep here, don’t wanna wake anyone else up.”

“Jun…” Wonwoo called, but he got the hint from the look in his eyes. He didn’t wanna talk about it, not now. So Wonwoo respected his decision. Even so, he didn’t want to leave him alone.

“Mind if I keep you company?” He asked instead, knowing the other was a bit of a clingy sleeper as well. If he would sleep at all though, Wonwoo didn’t know.

It took him a moment to reply, though he eventually shrugged. “Sure, if you want to.” He shifted, trying to fit his tall body into the small couch with his back facing Wonwoo. It was even more of a feat when Wonwoo joined him, his own body almost hanging off the seat cushions, though he didn’t care.

For a moment he just lied on his back with a hand behind his head, too many thoughts flying through his mind. Yet when he felt the other shift, he could see Jun now facing him with a request in his eyes. And Wonwoo answered it, shifting onto his side as well and letting his friend hide against his chest.

Wonwoo didn’t know what had happened, and maybe he would sound too cold, but he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive anyone who had done that to his friend.

 

 

——

 

 

“Ming Ming.” Jun breathed out.

Now Jihoon was the one who sat frozen on his chair, eyes unblinking as he stared at the video before him. It couldn’t be him, could it? It did sound like him. And fuck, if anyone could recognize Ming Ming, it was Jun. But why the hell was he here?

“Long time no see, huh? Isn’t that what Seungcheol used to say?” Jihoon could hear the snicker in his voice, but it almost felt too surreal.

“Wait, what the hell is going on?” Wonwoo asked now, and Jihoon forgot they couldn’t hear the audio from the camera, only Jun’s audio.

“Woozi, status.” The leader demanded.

“Ming Ming.” Jihoon only repeated before clearing his throat, shaking his head. “Ming Ming is there, he’s the weird guy. He’s there with Jun.”

“What? Are you sure?” Seungcheol insisted, and Jihoon wasn’t sure why he nodded.

“Yeah, I can’t see it well but… Jun says it’s him.” So it’s him.

“Fuck.” Wonwoo cursed. “Jun, get the hell out of there. Now.”

Jun didn’t, though. In fact, he didn’t even move.

“Come on, Junnie. You used to be the talkative one, what happened?” Ming Ming asked instead, standing only a few feet from him.

“Ming Ming…” Jun’s voice was soft and so transparent that Jihoon winced, as if the pain was his own. “Why are you here? What’s going on?” He tried clearing his throat, but the front was broken.

“I’m just doing my job, Junnie. Just like you.” Jihoon watched as he stepped closer, leaning into the other’s ear. “Are the rest of them here too?” Jihoon could hear him in his own earbud, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Guys, it’s him.” Soonyoung breathed out, though they could all tell. Well, almost all of them.

“Jun, get the fuck out of there.” Wonwoo repeated, and Jihoon wondered if he felt the same weird cold he felt creeping under his skin.

“Jun, he’s right. You should get out.” Jihoon added.

“Oh, and what’s up there?” Ming Ming looked straight at the camera now, making Jihoon stop whatever else he was doing. Shit, it was like he was staring right into his eyes. “Is Jihoonie still watching from the sidelines? Too much of a coward to come out?”

Jihoon didn’t even have time to be offended before Jun was pushing the other away. “Don’t call him that! You of all people have no right.” His friend spat, but he could still hear the tension in his voice. Unfortunately, that was all he could understand after that.

When Ming Ming spoke again, he had switched to Mandarin. And even if he had been studying the language, he wasn’t nearly good enough to understand their conversation. Even so, he could still see when the two broke into a fight.

“Fuck.” Woozi cursed.

“Woozi, can you see what’s going on?” Mingyu asked now.

“They’re fighting.” Jihoon looked around the screens, trying to see who was closer. “Can anyone get there? I think we should send back up.”

“I’m free.” Chan volunteered, but Jihoon knew Seungcheol would skin him alive if he let the younger in.

“You’d take too long and might call attention to yourself.” Jihoon pointed out, and he could swear he could see Seungcheol’s relieved face.

“I’m closest.” The8 offered.

“You’re hanging by a thread.” Mingyu pointed out, a bit protectively.

“I can swing to the door and get out.” The younger insisted, but Jihoon could barely hear them now, too focused on the other two fighting.

“You might sound the alarm.” Seungcheol reasoned. “We gotta trust Jun.”

“Guys, I don’t know, I have a bad feeling.” Jihoon admitted.

“I’m with Woozi.” Wonwoo added, and before anyone else joined in, Minghao started speaking Mandarin as well. Probably to Jun, Jihoon reasoned. But what or why, he had no idea. One thing he did know though, the feeling in his stomach only got worse.

Watching the fight was like watching Jun and Minghao train, only worse. The hits were faster, harder, meant to hurt. At least Ming Ming’s were, but Jun was holding himself back.

“Jun’s pulling his punches.” Jihoon grit his teeth. “Someone needs to get in there.”

“I’m on my way.” Soonyoung rushed.

“You’re too far.” Jihoon pointed out.

“Better me than no one.” Soonyoung insisted, and Jihoon couldn’t argue with that.

“I’m on my way too.” Seungcheol spoke through.

“Coups, you’re in the fucking scene. The guys need an eye on them.” Jihoon sighed, pushing his hair back.

“We’ll be fine.” Jeonghan spoke quickly, probably trying to keep his cover. “Go help Jun.” Jihoon turned to look at Seungcheol discretely making his way out of the main room and into the back corridors.

“Sorry Jihoonie,” His eyes snapped back at the screen with the two Chinese boys, both of them visibly panting now, standing far from each other. His eyes widened as Ming Ming pulled out a gun at the camera. “Show’s over.” With a bang, he lost the video and the audio feed, relying only on Jun’s intercom.

“Fuck!” Jihoon exclaimed. “He has a gun!”

“What?!” At least four different voices questioned.

“He shot the camera, he has a fucking gun!” Jihoon let out, trying whatever he could to get another video feed.

This was bad, this was really bad. Ming Ming was a genius with a gun. The shoot a damn feather in the air on a fucking blizzard type of genius. He was recruited for his skills and bragged about them, with every right. Ming Ming never missed.

“Someone get there now!” Wonwoo let out, and Jihoon never heard him so on edge.

“The8!” Jihoon called.

“On my way.” Jihoon watched as the younger did as he said he would, using the rope he hung from to swing towards the door. It was close, it was so close, but he avoided the lasers, cutting the cable and managing to slip out the door.

“Abort mission!” Seungcheol announced as he ran through the hallways. “Han, Vernon, Mingyu, get out. Don’t call attention to yourselves and meet Wonwoo at the meet point. Chan, get on your way too.”

Jihoon could hear Minghao shouting in words he couldn’t understand behind Seungcheol’s orders. Jun was still talking, his voice breathy yet strong, but Jihoon couldn’t tell anything from it either. His hands twitched as he tried to find something to do, someway to help, but there was nothing. He was sitting behind computer screens while his friends were in danger. He felt lost, helpless, terrified.

“Hao, turn two rights and one left.” All he could do was give the other directions, so that’s what he’d do. Minghao was fast, and right now, faster than he had ever seen him. Maybe he could do it, maybe he could make it.

“I’m almost there!” Minghao announced, panting. He was right. He was close, so close. He was going to make it.

“Be careful when you get there! I got no visual so–“

One shot. No, two.

Two shots.

And then silence.

Jihoon held his breath, his ears completely numb to any sound around him. All he heard was his heartbeat, that seemed to have slowed down. Or perhaps that was just time. Yes, time was slowing down, and he couldn’t breathe.

This couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t right. Jun never got hurt. He just didn’t. So maybe he missed. Ming Ming never missed, but maybe he missed. Or maybe Jun had disarmed him. Maybe it would all be okay.

“Jun’s down.” Minghao’s voice was low and breathy.

No, he was wrong. Jun couldn’t be hurt, because Jun never got hurt.

 

Jun never got hurt.

 

 

Until he did.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to say please don't hate me but I hate myself so much so I understand--
> 
> OKAY FIRST THINGS FIRST  
> I had been thinking of this whole thing since I started writing this fic, so AGES BEFORE they even announced the My I mv ok and I had been stalling to write this part cause I wanted all characters and relationships to be a bit more solidified before I went into it.  
> I actually wasn't sure when I'd bring this arc(?) in but I decided I'd do it after the last chapter and THEN THE DAMN MV CAME OUT (2 OF THEM OK, 2) AND IT FELT LIKE A WEIRD ASS COINCIDENCE  
> Plus I was really tempted to post it when the mv came out because the chapter was practically done, but I didn't have much of the next part ready and I really don't wanna make people wait too long this time-
> 
> That all being said though, it was really hard figuring out which scenes to post where, and what I thought would only take up two chapters might even take up more and so I wanted to apologize for that OTL ~~I got no idea what I'm doing~~
> 
> But more importantly I really wanted to thank everyone.  
> I've been getting such positive feedback and so many kudos, it's really amazing and idk what I did to deserve that- But thank you so much!
> 
> As always, please let me know if you spot any typos!
> 
> And watch the My I mv's ok it's pure art and beautiful


	10. I’m alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You knew him. How could he hurt him like that? How could he hurt Jun?” Mingyu knew what he meant by that. Because Jun, of all people, didn’t deserve that. Because Jun, as a friend, would never be someone who deserved that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG AND IM SORRY FOR THIS 8K OF A MESS BUT HERE YOU GO

_2013_

 

It was late at night when Jun heard something in their bedroom. The rest hadn’t woken up, the steps too light for them to notice, but Jun had been trained for those things. He opened his eyes to see someone quietly closing the bedroom door, a quick count of the people sleeping around him allowing him to know that it was Ming Ming who had left the bedroom.

Smirking, Junhui pushed himself up, avoiding his sleeping roommates as he got off the top bunk. His friend was clearly up to something to be sneaking around like that, and Jun found it would be quite amusing to catch him red-handed.

When he got to the living room, he could hear Ming Ming grabbing some things in the kitchen, seeing the light on over there. Jun raised a brow, making his way over as quietly as possible.

“Getting a midnight snack?” The older asked with a grin, causing the other to freeze on the spot.

Surely Ming Ming already knew who it was. Not only for the voice, but when it was just the two of them, they always spoke in Mandarin. He didn’t get the reaction he expected though. He thought his friend would cuss at him or maybe throw something at him out of instinct, but instead he stayed quiet.

“What are you doing up?” Ming Ming asked after a moment, his voice lacking the amusement Jun predicted.

“I saw you leaving the room,” Jun explained, keeping a grin as he stepped closer. “What’s your excuse?”

Ming Ming sighed, turning around to finally face him. Only then did Jun noticed the duffel bag in his arms. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” The younger admitted, Jun’s expression taking a serious turn as well.

“Ming, what’s going on?” He asked, brows knitting together. It looked like he had been putting food into the bag, though it was already half full. Certainly not of food, so what else?

“I didn’t want you to know.” Ming Ming pushed his hair back, and by then Jun began feeling frustrated with the lack of answers.

“ _Ming Ming_.” He called, hoping the other would cut the act.

“I’m leaving.” Ming Ming let out, sighing once again as he watched the look on Jun’s face. “I’m leaving, Junnie.”

“What?” Jun’s mouth gaped, eyes growing wide. He tried to make sense of what the other was saying, wondering if it was just an elaborate joke. “This isn’t funny, Ming.”

“It’s not supposed to be, Junnie.” Again with the nickname, as if to soften the blow, as if it would make anything better.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Jun stepped back, shaking his head lightly. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Somewhere, nowhere, I…” The younger pushed his hair back once again, looking around. “I can’t stay here.”

“What? What are you talking about? Ming Ming…” Jun wet his lips, fingers closing and opening as he tried to grasp the situation. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe it was just a nightmare? Maybe he was still in bed, and Ming Ming was still sleeping on the bed beneath his. “I thought you were happy here.”

“I was, I… I am, kind of.” Ming Ming breathed in. “But I can’t do this, Junnie. There’s too many people, I haven’t… I forgot how to live like that.”

“Then you can learn again!” Jun protested, soon lowering his voice once again not to wake anybody up. “We can ask them to lay off a bit, to take it slow.”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do that, Jun.” The other shook his head. “Don’t you see? They care for each other. They’re like fucking brothers. I have no place here, this isn’t my thing.”

Jun disagreed, more than he ever had in his life, but he understood what Ming Ming was trying to say. They had been taken from their families at a young age, they never fully learned how to function in one. They only learned how to lean on each other, how to trust each other. People came and went, missions succeeded and failed, but the two of them stayed together. They were the closest thing to a family they’d ever had. Until the rest of them came along and recruited them. So he could understand Ming Ming’s fear of letting them in, and letting himself into their lives.

“Then I’ll go with you.” Jun decided then, taking a step forward.

“What? No.” Ming Ming shook his head quickly. “You can’t do that, Junnie.”

“Why not? Just give me five minutes,” Jun turned around to head out of the kitchen. “I’ll just pack some things–“

“ _Don’t_.” Jun felt Ming Ming’s hand wrap tightly around his him, stopping him from going any further than the couch. “There’s a reason I was sneaking out.”

No, he couldn’t be saying that. Jun knew what he meant, but it couldn’t be true. He turned around, eyes flicking over the other’s features, trying to see any sign of bluffing. “Ming Ming…”

“You’re not coming with me, Junnie.” Ming Ming spoke softly, slowly letting him go. “I can’t let you do that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jun didn’t care about raising his voice now. “I’m going with you, we always go together!”

“Not this time.” Ming Ming insisted, and Jun could see he was holding himself back. “I can’t do that to you. You like them, I know it.”

“I don’t care! It’s you and me, it’s always been–“

“I’m not giving you a choice!” Ming Ming let out. “You were never supposed to _have_ a choice, Jun. That’s why I never told you. I knew that if I did, you’d choose me.”

Jun felt the corner of his eyes start to sting as he watched his friend. He was right, he never had a choice. It was as clear as day now, and it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Ming Ming was leaving him behind.

“You’re happy here, shit…” The other sighed, his eyes becoming redder from the tears he held back. “I knew you’d choose me, and that’s why I can’t let you choose, Junnie. You’re good here, you’re happy here. Sure, we’d be happy together too, but here… You have a good shot here. They care about you.”

“But they care about you too.” Jun cursed himself for allowing his voice to break, bringing a hand up to cover his nose as he sniffled.

“But I can’t do this. I tried, but I don’t belong here.” Ming Ming looked away, probably to avoid seeing him cry. Jun was never one to cry much, but he couldn’t hold it back anymore, and he didn’t find it in himself to care.

Jun watched as his friend went back into the kitchen, only to come out with the duffel bag over his shoulder. His chest felt hollow, as if he was dropping in an endless rollercoaster, making it impossible to breathe. He closed his fists so his fingers would stop shaking, and he could feel the warm tears making his way down his cheeks in what was probably a pitiful sight.

Ming Ming fixed his shoes, opening the front door. And there he stood for a few moments, which for Jun felt like both an eternity and not long enough. “Take care, Junnie.” The younger gave the best smile he could muster before walking out the door.

Jun wanted to run after him, to ignore his stupid decision and to go along with him anyway, but his feet forbade him to do so. He just stood still as his only compass in the world walked out.

 

 

——

 

 

The way to the hospital had been a complete blur to Jihoon. If someone asked how he got there, he didn’t know. He just remembered calling Jisoo to tell him what happened, and he wasn’t even sure how he managed to do that either. Everything around him felt detached, like he was running someone else’s body.

When he finally arrived in the waiting room, everyone else was already there. He didn’t know how, given they were much farther away, but he was glad nonetheless. That was the only thing he was glad for, given the sight before him.

The first one he noticed was Minghao. His white clothes were dark red and clinging to his thin frame. He wasn’t hurt though. That was good, right? But nothing felt good. Not by the way he didn’t take his eyes off the floor tiles, with how Mingyu continued to rub his back and mumble into his ear every now and then.

Two seats away, Wonwoo sat with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, fingers digging into his dark hair. Soonyoung rubbed his back up and down, but he had no words to share. His cheeks were red, eyes swollen, and Jihoon could tell he was trying to breathe as softly as possible. Chan sat next to him with his feet on the seat and his knees up against his chest, fiddling with the holes in his jeans. Vernon, on the other hand, wouldn’t stop fidgeting. Tapping his foot, looking around, tapping his fingers against the shared arm rests. Every single nervous tick of his was showing, and no one had the heart to ask him to stop.

Hearing some light sniffles, Jihoon turned to see Jeonghan crying softly by the corner. He had a feeling the older hadn’t stopped since he started. Seungcheol held him with an arm around his shoulders, but kept an eye on everyone in the room, looking around until he spotted Jihoon Before he knew, the younger was being pulled into a strong hug. He felt too lost to return it though, his own emotions making a fool out of him. He didn’t know what was happening. Had they gotten there in time? Was he okay? Had something else happened?

“He’s inside.” Seungcheol spoke lowly but with certainty, only proving once again why he was the leader. “Jisoo and Seokmin are taking care of him. Seungkwan joined them to help.” He added as he pulled back, squeezing Jihoon’s shoulder.

The shorter nodded a bit, looking around once again. He didn’t know what to do, where to sit. It was all too quiet and too loud at the same time. Too wrong.

Jihoon didn’t know how long they stayed there. There was a clock on the wall, but he refused to look at it. All he knew was that at some point he decided to sit next to Wonwoo, occasionally squeezing his shoulder.

Eventually he could hear steps approaching the room, and when Seokmin and Seungkwan walked in, all eyes were on them. They looked serious, composed, and Jihoon couldn’t imagine how hard it was to stay professional at a time like this. Both were now in their scrubs, making it hard to ignore the blood stains on them. Still, he tried not to look.

“He’s stable.” Seokmin announced as he took off his mask, and a collection of relieved sighs could be heard, as if everyone had been holding their breaths. Jihoon certainly had been.

“He lost a lot of blood, but he’s stable now.” The taller continued, Seungkwan nodding along. “Thankfully, no major organs were hit, so he’s out of immediate danger. However,” Seokmin took a moment to wet his lips. “One of the bullets fractured one of the ribs. We believe a small piece broke off and injured the external part of his lung, but it didn’t pierce through. It could've been a lot worse, but he will have some trouble breathing until it heals.”

“What does this mean?” Chan asked softly, brows furrowing together. “Is he gonna be alright?”

It was Seungkwan who nodded this time, taking off his mask as well. “With rest and proper care, he’ll be able to recover well. One bullet passed through, and the other we were able to remove, so he’s not in any immediate danger.”

Jihoon breathed deeply, nodding to himself. That was good, right? He’d be fine, they’d be fine.

“Can we see him?” Soonyoung’s voice was raw and hoarse.

“He’s not awake right now.” Seokmin explained with an apology in his eyes. “He lost too much blood, and we had to put him under heavy painkillers. We can maybe let one or two see him, but he can’t get full time visitors until we move him to his own room.”

“Is Jisoo with him?” Seungcheol asked now.

“Yes, hyung is taking care of him. We all are.” Seungkwan nodded, and Jihoon was glad the other wasn’t left alone.

“Alright, we should decide who stays and who goes. I know we all want to stay, but as far as I understood, we’ll be of more help if we stop taking up so much space in here.” The leader decided. Jihoon couldn’t imagine how hard it was to be the voice of reason at a time like that.

“Hyung.” Seungkwan called now, licking his lips. “We need to ask… Who’s Ming Ming?”

“We can explain this later, with everyone.” The leader suggested.

“No, hyung.” Seokmin was firm, far too firm for his usual self. “I know we’re all hurting, but… We need to know this. We have a right to know who did that to him.”

Jihoon felt like a weight filled his chest. The eldest in the group looked between each other, joined by Mingyu and Chan. There was a list of names that were never brought up within the group. It was a short list, and though it wasn’t written down anywhere, everyone knew it. And everyone knew why Samuel shouldn’t be mentioned. As great as their memories had been with him, his name still brought a sense of longing and nostalgia to them. It hurt.

Ming Ming, however, was a name that not everybody knew the reason for. And it’s not that they chose to never tell any of the other members about him. The only reason they avoided the name was because the person who called it the most seemed to have stopped calling it at all.

“Ming Ming was recruited with Jun.” Seungcheol explained after a deep breath. “We found them together, during one of our missions. They were kicking our asses, but once we told them what we were about, they decided to help.”

“They were inseparable.” Chan mumbled. “Best friends.” Jihoon swore he could hear Wonwoo snickering next to him, but he decided not to ask.

“So what happened?” Vernon asked now, looking between them.

“He left.” Wonwoo sat up straight to look at the younger. His hair was messy and his eyes looked much too tired. “Not too long before you joined, he left. Best friend my ass.”

“ _Wonwoo_.” Mingyu called, though he didn’t sound reprimanding, just concerned.

“No, he left in the middle of the of the night without telling anyone. You didn’t see his face, Mingyu. Jun was…” Wonwoo sighed, pushing his hair back. “A friend doesn’t do that.”

“Hyung wasn’t himself for weeks.” Chan admitted, putting his feet down on the floor while picking at his fingers. He looked up at the others with big round eyes, looking a bit too much like Seungcheol. “He tried, but he just wasn’t himself.”

“Why did he leave?” Seungkwan asked.

Jihoon wasn’t ignorant to Minghao’s silence, either. The boy had barely moved an inch since he had first seen him, round eyes only fleeting between the others, though they didn’t seem very focused either.

“We don’t know.” Joenghan admitted, clearing his throat now that his tears had stopped running. “Jun never told us, said we wouldn’t understand.” They didn’t want to push, either.

“And we have no idea why he was there, either.” Seungcheol admitted, closing the subject on that. “I know we’re all angry at him, believe me, you’re not the only ones. But it won’t help anyone to start digging up the past right now.” The leader pressed his lips together, probably containing his own frustration. “So who’s staying and who’s going?”

Silence took over again. Truth was, no one wanted to go. No one liked waiting there either, but going home to such a quiet apartment just felt wrong.

“I’ll take Hao home.” Mingyu volunteered. “We need to clean up.” Minghao spoke nothing, but he didn’t disagree, so they took it as a yes.

“I’m staying.” Wonwoo announced, and Jihoon sensed there was no room for argument there.

Jihoon watched as the eldest two exchanged looks, probably having their own private conversation through stared. Soon, Jeonghan was nodding.

“I’ll take the rest home.” Jeonghan volunteered, though Jihoon figured that was probably though Seungcheol’s convincing. “Anyone else staying?”

“I’d like to stay.” Hansol asked.

“Vernonie, you should go home.” Seungkwan spoke with a soft smile. He was right, staying here would only make the other more anxious.

“I’ll stay and keep you posted.” Chan volunteered, smiling at his friend.

Thankfully, Hansol agreed with a nod. Jihoon was also surprised Seungcheol didn’t protest, but he figured he probably wanted his brother around at that time. Part of him expected Soonyoung to ask to stay too, but he knew his friend wanted to look after the others as well. His heart was too big for his own good.

“Alright, we should get going then. Let the guys go back to work.” Jeonghan smiled small, trying his hardest to be positive despite his red eyes and matching nose. “Call us if you need anything, alright?” The second oldest looked at the ones staying, though it was clearly more of a demand than a request.

“We’ll stay in touch.” Seungcheol nodded with a reassuring smile.

Jihoon stood up to follow the others out, not speaking a word. He felt horrible. He wanted to stay, he wanted to help his friends, but at the same time, he was afraid. He was scared of what he’d see, and at the moment he felt it was better not to know. So he decided to go home, even if that was another place he didn’t look forward to return to.

 

 

——

 

 

He didn’t know how long he spent in the shower. He wanted to stay until there was no trace of that night in his body, but no matter how hard he scrubbed or how long he stayed under the hot water, Minghao couldn’t wash off what had happened. He had no idea what happened to his clothes, either. Mingyu said he’d take care of them for him, so he didn’t bother asking. He was incredibly thankful though, even if he couldn’t voice it at the time.

Everything felt wrong. The apartment was too quiet, too somber. Even after they’ve turned on all the lights, it was still too dark. He’d tried eating, training, even reading, but it was all in vain. He was exhausted, yet far too awake to try to sleep. Eventually, Minghao gave in. If he couldn’t sleep, he could maybe see if Mingyu was awake.

“Ah, finally!” Jeonghan smiled warmly, gesturing for him to come inside once he opened the door to their bedroom. “We were wondering when you’d show up, come on.”

Looking around, Minghao spotted the eldest three sharing one bed, while Mingyu and Vernon shared another one. They all sat on the edge of the mattresses, facing each other. Minghao was surprised to say the least, but he understood. He couldn’t even enter the room he shared with Jun, and it only made sense Soonyoung and Hansol felt the same. He didn’t expect them to be having an impromptu slumber party though.

“Jeonghan-hyung said we could sleep here.” Hansol explained, as if reading his thoughts.

Minghao thought of pointing out that Seokmin’s room had three free beds as well, though he felt that wasn’t really the point. Instead, he made his way to sit down by Mingyu’s side, pulling his feet up on the bed.

“You okay?” His friend mumbled softly, and Minghao managed to nod in return. He wasn’t, but he was better, kind of.

“What are you guys doing?” Minghao asked instead, trying not to bring the mood further down.

“Just talking.” Soonyoung shrugged. “And revealing embarrassing secrets.”

“Wonwoo-hyung was once in a dance competition.” Hansol grinned, looking over at Minghao.

“You’re kidding.” He raised a brow.

“Nope,” Mingyu snickered. “It was a school talent show. He had a dance solo and everything.”

“Wonwoo? The same guy who can’t do a headstand to save his life?” Minghao asked incredulously.

“I even have proof.” Mingyu nodded. “Filmed it and everything.”

“I swear to god, I’ll wash your clothes for a month if you give me that video.” Soonyoung offered.

“I don’t trust you with my clothes.” Mingyu frowned.

“Fine, then I’ll cook for you.” The older reasoned.

“You’re only making it worse.” Mingyu pointed out.

“Why do you want that video anyway?” Jihoon asked, raising a brow at his friend. “Should I remind you you once competed by dancing to girl group songs?”

“Excuse you,” Soonyoung gasped, bringing a hand to his chest. “I _won_ by dancing to girl group songs.”

“How is that any better?” Minghao furrowed his brows.

“There are no girl or guy dances, only good and bad dancers. And _I_ was awesome.” The other thief grinned smugly. “Wonwoo, on the other hand, was probably a robot. Literally. Hence, I need that video.”

“Since when do you use ‘hence’?” Jeonghan teased, looking over at the other.

“Since always! I’m not illiterate, you know.” Soonyoung frowned, crossing his arms.

“No, you just hate reading.” Hansol reasoned, smirking slightly.

“He doesn’t hate it, he just doesn’t like it when Wonwoo reads instead of playing with him.” Jihoon mumbled as if it was nothing, though Soonyoung was soon shoving him.

“Jihoon-ah!” He whined.

“Oh God, I _do not_ need to know.” Minghao groaned, covering his ears with his hands.

“It’s not what it sounds like!” Soonyoung defended, hiding his face in his palms.

“What are you complaining about? You’re not much better.” Jihoon pointed out, nudging his chin at Minghao.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Minghao frowned, though before he got an answer, a phone chimed.

Like a reflex, they all looked at Jeonghan, who seemed to have picked it up in an instant.

“It’s a text.” The older wet his lips, and Minghao wanted to yell at him for not opening it already. He understood, though. He was afraid too. “He’s improving.” They all sighed in unison, as if they had stopped breathing.

“Cheol says he’s still asleep, but the guys told him his vitals are getting better.” Jeonghan read it out. “They just moved him to the room, but they’re asking us to wait a couple of hours before going to set things up properly.”

Minghao should feel better. Those were good news, great news, but some how he felt worse. Like for a moment he had been floating, forgetting his own issues, only for someone to pop his bubble and make him fall down on his ass.

“Does that mean we’ll get to see him?” Hansol looked up at the oldest who now got off the bed.

“I think so, yes.” Jeonghan smiled softly, though it was easier to see through it now. Something was bothering him, but Minghao figured it was probably his concern for the eldest. On top of everything else, of course. “But you guys should really try to get some rest first.” The older insisted, his maternal instinct getting the best of him.

“What about you?” Mingyu asked.

“I’ll be back soon, just wanna call Cheol.” Jeonghan admitted, fiddling with his phone. “Everything’s fine, I promise. I just need to make sure he’s okay.”

The rest of them nodded, allowing the oldest to leave the room. Minghao had no idea how he’d sleep, if he’d ever, but he could see now he wasn’t alone. No one was moving, still sitting on the beds and staring at each other. Vernon’s foot began tapping, and Minghao could see he was gripping at the sheets beneath him.

“Do you think he’ll be okay?” The youngest in the room ask, voice much softer than before.

“He will.” Mingyu sounded more certain than he looked. “He has too, right? They said it wasn’t that bad.”

“There was a lot of blood, Mingyu.” Minghao mumbled before he could hold himself back. Far too much blood.

“We have to trust them.” Soonyoung sighed, pushing his hair back. “They wouldn’t lie to us.”

Minghao knew that, they all did. Yet as much as he trusted them, he knew there was no telling what could happen.

“Plus, it’s Jun, right?” Soonyoung added, as if that was explanation enough.

Apparently, it didn’t sit well with Jihoon, who instead of replying, just shifted to lie down on the same bed he was sitting, with his back to them. “You heard Jeonghan, we should get some rest.”

Again, Minghao doubted he would, but those words sounded too final to argue.

 

 

——

 

 

It was already late in the morning when they were getting ready to go to the hospital again, now that Seuncheol let them know they got a room. A private one, thankfully. And perhaps they shouldn’t all be going at the same time, given they were a bit over the usual three persons visiting. But no one wanted to stay a second longer without seeing their friend. Well, no one but one.

Mingyu pushed the large metal door to the training room, spotting his friend where he thought he’d be. Minghao was kicking and punching away at one of the larger bags, which seemed to have seen better days. And so did he.

“Hey.” Mingyu called out as he approached him, standing a few feet away.

“Hey.” Minghao replied, though he didn’t pay him much attention.

“The guys are finishing getting ready and then we’re taking the bus to the hospital.” Mingyu explained.

“Alright, take care.” The younger panted, continuing on the abuse of the poor punching bag.

“You’re not coming?” Mingyu licked his lips. He wasn’t surprised, but he at least expected him to have changed his mind by now.

“It’s fine, too many people anyway.” Minghao explained, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his forearm.

“We’re already five people, Hao. One more isn’t gonna hurt anyone.” Mingyu chuckled lightly, tilting his head a bit.

“Still, the guys can spend more time with him like that.” Minghao continued lying through his teeth, and Mingyu’s patience was running low. He knew Minghao was hurting, and it pained him, really. But he was hurting too.

“So you’re not seeing him?” Mingyu raised a brow, not being able to hold back the bit of bitterness in his tone.

“It’s fine, I’ll just go later.” Minghao insisted, his punches getting quite slower.

“He’s our friend.” Mingyu pointed out, gesturing towards the door though he didn’t know why.

“I know that, Mingyu.” Minghao spoke through gritted teeth, pulling back to face him. “Don’t make a big deal out of this.”

“A big deal?” Mingyu snickered, unbelieving. “He’s in the fucking hospital, Minghao.”

“I know that.” The other repeated.

“And you don’t wanna see him?” Mingyu frowned, not understanding how his friend could be saying that. He understood if he was scared, but he shouldn’t be saying those things.

“I’ll see him later.” Minghao insisted.

“He’s in there _now_.” Mingyu raised his voice a bit, his own frustration getting to him. “He needs us now and you don’t wanna see him?”

“He has all of you.” Minghao matched his tone.

“Hao!” Mingyu let out, his nerves getting the best of him.

“I already saw him, okay?!” The younger let out in an angry tone, though anger was the last thing in his eyes. “I already saw him get shot, I saw him fucking bleeding out in my arms, I saw him passed out when they took him. I can’t stop fucking seeing him!”

Mingyu paused, watching his friend. He was broken. His hair was messy, his skin was sweaty, he was panting and tearing up. Minghao looked so tired, so done, and right now Mingyu wished he could take it all back.

“Hao…” He called softly, taking a step closer.

“It’s all I see, Gyu.” The boy swallowed, pushing his damp hair back. “When I close my eyes, it’s all I see. I can’t sleep, I can’t rest. I can’t stop…” He pressed his palms against his closed eyes. “I can’t see him again, not like that.”

Mingyu swallowed dry, taking another step closer to pull him into a hug. The fact that Minghao didn’t fight him off only showed how tired he truly was, so Mingyu held him tighter.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” _Why didn’t you tell me?_ He almost asked instead.

“Everyone’s already fucked up.” Minghao sighed against his shoulder, hands gripping the front of his shirt lightly. “Didn’t seem fair to get special treatment.”

“Fuck, Hao, it’s not special treatment.” Mingyu pointed out, holding him a bit tighter. “It’s only more reason for us to stick together and help each other out.”

Minghao didn’t answer for a moment, but Mingyu could feel him breathe slower, leaning more against him. It felt good. It felt like shit, of course, the whole situation. But it felt good to be able to help, to be able to share the burden. Because it was one fucking heavy burden.

“I just can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so tired, Gyu.” Minghao whispered, and even if Mingyu couldn’t see him, he could hear the pain in his voice. “I’m scared.”

Shit, Mingyu had never heard him like that. Minghao was grumpy, sassy, he was blunt and often rude. But right now… He was sad, scared, and it hurt him.

“Me too, I’m scared shitless.” Mingyu admitted. “But we need to see him, Hao. Especially you. Otherwise you’ll never stop seeing those things…” He wet his lips. “You need to see he’s alright.

The younger nodded a bit, breathing against his shoulder. “Alright…” He agreed, wetting his lips. “Alright, I’ll go.”

“ _We’ll_ go.” Mingyu corrected him. “Together.” He managed the warmest smile he could give, squeezing him a bit.

Minghao breathed in deeply, nodding a bit. “Yeah, yeah…” He finally agreed. “I just… It doesn’t make sense, you know?” The younger gasped softly, holding back a small sob. “You said they were friends.”

Mingyu felt the bitterness in his throat, uselessly attempting to swallow it down. “They were.”

“Then how could he do that?” Minghao’s voice broke at that, and Mingyu flinched. The younger pulled back a bit to look up at him. “You knew him. How could he hurt him like that? How could he hurt _Jun_?” Mingyu knew what he meant by that. Because Jun, of all people, didn’t deserve that. Because Jun, as a friend, would never be someone who deserved that.

“I don’t know, Hao.” Mingyu pulled back as well, holding his breath for a moment to keep his own feelings in check. “But trust me,” He looked back at his friend. “I haven’t stopped asking myself that same question.”

 

 

——

 

 

Jihoon was an idiot. A cowardly idiot. It wasn’t a hard thing to do. Just open the door and join everyone else in the room. He had opened a lot of doors before in his life, just grab the knob and push. Sometimes pull. And sometimes there was no knob. Not to mention the doors that slid. And okay, now he was a cowardly idiot who was having a philosophical internal monologue about the opening methods of doors. _Awesome_.

“It’s not automatic, you know?” Jihoon almost jumped when he heard the voice behind him, turning around quickly.

“Do people _enjoy_ catching me off guard or is it just a coincidence?” The smaller frowned as he looked up at Jisoo.

“Well, you make it easier when you’re questioning the meaning of life in the middle of a hallway.” The older pointed out with that smile of his that only curves up on the edges, much like a cat.

“I wasn’t questioning the meaning of life.” Jihoon muttered. That would’ve been much less ridiculous.

“So what are you waiting for?” Jisoo asked, though his tone was softer now.

“I don’t know.” Jihoon mumbled, pressing his lips together as he looked again at the light blue door. He perfectly knew that he was stalling, that was basically his greatest talent. But he wasn’t sure why. “I guess… It doesn’t feel real yet.”

“What do you mean?” Jisoo raised a brow, looking at the younger.

“I know it happened, I know it, but it’s still hard to believe it.” Jihoon was the only one who hadn’t seen him yet. He wasn’t at the scene, he had gone home after meeting everyone in the waiting room. On one hand, he was thankful, because he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle seeing him hurt. On the other hand… “As soon as I walk through that door, there’s no believing it or not anymore. It’s real.”

“I understand.” Joshua nodded lightly, taking a deep breath. “But it’s already real, Jihoonie. It did happen.” Jihoon felt those words like a punch to the chest. He wasn’t sure if it was because they were true, or because a small part of him expected Joshua not to say them.

“This isn’t Schrödinger’s cat, we already know what’s behind that door.” Jisoo’s voice was soft as always, but they didn’t soften the blow. “I know it’s hard.” The older smiled small, placing a hand on his upper back. “But it’s our turn to be positive now.”

Jihoon sighed, nodding a bit. He was right. As much as he hated to admit it, he was right. And he wanted to be there, he wanted to help. He was scared, but everybody was. It wasn’t an excuse anymore.

“Come on.” Jisoo passed him to open the door, walking inside with Jihoon following him.

Well, he thought everyone was scared, but it didn’t look like it now. Soonyoung and Chan were leaning over the bed, both with black markers on their hands, doodling on Jun’s face. Vernon, however, was in charge of taking the pictures, while Jeonghan sat on the biggest chair, reading a magazine Jihoon had no idea where he got it from.

“Guys, what the hell?” Jihoon frowned, seeing the three looking back at him like rats being caught raiding a pantry.

“It wasn’t us!” Soonyoung appealed, pulling back to reveal a Jun with a monocle and a unibrow.

“Soonyoung, you’re literally holding the weapon of the crime.” Jihoon pointed out with a frown.

“Well, it was Jeonghan’s idea!” The other claimed.

“It wasn’t an idea, it was a _suggestion_. What you decide to do with your own time has nothing to do with me.” Jeonghan corrected him, flipping a page with a playful smirk.

Jihoon looked up at Jisoo, mentally asking him to please deal with that, because he couldn’t at the moment. Thankfully, the older took the hint.

“Guys, this is ridiculous.” Jisoo sighed, walking over to take the pen from Chan. Instead of capping it though, he leaned over, drawing on the patient’s face as well. “You can’t doodle on his face and _not_ put on cat whiskers. That’s like rule number one of face doodling.”

“…You’re kidding me.” Jihoon raised a brow, judging. “Weren’t you supposed to be the responsible one?”

“Yes, and it’d be completely irresponsible not to take advantage of an opportunity like this.” Jisoo pointed out with the warmest smile, as if he hadn’t just done something completely ridiculous.

“Jeonghan corrupted you.” Jihoon grumbled, crossing his arms. He was surrounded by idiots.

“Nu-uh, don’t put this on me. He was always like that.” Jeonghan defended, putting down the magazine. “He just _looks_ sweet.”

“You don’t think I’m sweet?” Joshua raised a brow with a teasing smirk, looking at the eldest in the room.

“Oh, the sweetest.” Jeonghan grinned playfully in return. “After me.”

“Gross, stop.” The youngest complained. Jihoon couldn’t agree more.

“Where are the others, anyway?” The hacker wondered, looking around.

“We told them to go get some food since Jun wasn’t up yet.” Hansol explained, looking at his phone. Probably sending everyone else the pictures, Jihoon assumed. “They hadn’t eaten in ages and we told them we’d let them know when he awakes.”

“He hasn’t woken up yet?” Jihoon asked, without being able to hide the defeat in his tone.

“He did.” Jeonghan replied quickly, smiling comfortingly. “He’s just been a bit too groggy to stay up for long, and he mostly just wanted water. Dokyeommie said that’s normal, though.”

“It is. He probably won’t remember those times, either.” Joshua reassured them, walking to the foot of the bed to grab the clipboard. “It says here Seokmin already changed to lighter painkillers, so he’ll probably be much more aware now.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” Soonyoung nodded. “He won’t be in pain, right?”

“No, no. He won’t be feeling like a million bucks, but he’ll be alright.” Jisoo smiled warmly.

That was good, right? Jihoon made no noise as he walked closer to the bed, looking at his friend. Part of him was thankful for the work they did on his face, because at least it distracted from everything else. From the tubes in his veins, the mask on his face, from the bruises contrasting with the sickly tone of his skin and how small he looked even though he probably hadn’t lost any weight.

“Well, everything seems to be looking fine here.” Joshua nodded, putting the clipboard back to its place. “I gotta go back to work, but you can call us if you need anything, alright?” The younger three nodded while Jeonghan pushed himself up.

“I’ll walk you out, I wanna grab some food too.” The oldest explained, though Jihoon doubted that was the reason. Still, he didn’t really bother. He just waved a bit as the two walked out of the room before looking back at Jun.

Without paying much attention to his own actions, Jihoon pulled a chair closer to the bed, sitting down on it. It was weird. Before entering, he thought he wouldn’t be able to look at the other. But now, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. It was as if he couldn’t miss a moment, like he needed to be there when he woke up.

“He’s gonna be fine.” Chan mumbled after a moment, mustering one of his brightest smiles. “Shua-hyung said so, right? So he’s gonna be fine.”

Jihoon wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort them or himself, but he was thankful nonetheless. “Yeah.” He smiled small. “He’s gonna be alright.”

 

 

——

 

 

He felt like crap. No, scratch that, crap didn’t even begin to describe it. First of all, he was thirsty as hell. It was like his throat was made out of sandpaper or something. Second of all, he felt like his whole body was made out of pudding, and he was waking up from the longest yet worst sleep of his life. Like one of those were you keep having weird ass dreams and waking up a hundred times in the middle of the night.

Jun groaned, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes. He could hear some voices, still a bit muffled. “You’re too loud.” He complained, though his words felt slower than he intended. Still, they seemed to do the trick, as the entire room seemed to suddenly go silent.

“Junnie?” He heard someone ask. It sounded like Soonyoung, but his mind was still a bit cloudy.

 

“Yeah?” He yawned, finally taking a look around. White. Okay, a lot of white. But there they were. Not all of them, but quite a few, apparently. Soonyoung, Woonwoo, Jeonghan, Seungkwan, Hansol, Seungcheol, Jisoo and Jihoon. He wasn’t even sure how they all fit around his bed, though he also wasn’t sure if that was his bed.

“How are you feeling?” Jisoo was the one who asked now, placing a hand on his left shoulder.

“Like Minghao’s shoes after a day of training.” Jun mumbled, trying to wet his lips. Once he realized the thing on his face was actually a breathing mask, he pulled it down, thankful Jisoo didn’t seem to mind. “And thirsty.”

“Here.” Seungkwan was quick to hand him a plastic cup filled with water, though Jun had no idea where he had summoned that from.

“Thanks.” He mumbled, downing it all in one go.

After giving back the cup, with his thirst slightly quenched, he tried sitting up. Jisoo wouldn’t let him though, his gentle touch becoming a bit firmer.

“You shouldn’t move too much, alright?” Joshua instructed, and Jun decided not to go against him. “You can use the remote to move the bed, if you want.” He offered, handing him the remote with a small smile.

Jun nodded, taking the plastic rectangle and looking at the buttons for a moment. He pushed at the one that slowly raised the upper half of the bed, helping him sit up. There, he could look at them better now.

“What happened?” Junhui asked, putting the remote down as he watched his friends. They looked… Weird. As if they were stepping on eggshells.

“You got shot.” Hansol blurted out. “Twice.”

“Hansol-ah!” Seungcheol reprimanded the younger’s lack of filter.

“He asked!” Hansol defended, gesturing towards Jun.

“Oh, yeah.” He blinked, remembering now. Well, not fully, but yeah. The fighting, the noises. Minghao. “Ow?”

“Ow? Seriously?” Wonwoo raised a brow, looking slightly annoyed. “You get shot and wake up in a hospital bed and that’s all you got to say?”

“Well, I didn’t know what else to say.” Jun admitted, words becoming a bit less slurred the more he talked. “And everything fucking hurts, so… Ow.” Not only his body, but they didn’t need to know that now. He could read the concern in their faces as if it was written out in Chinese.

“Does it hurt too much?” Jeonghan frowned, and Jun felt a bit guilty making him worry.

“No, it’s okay. I mean, it hurts, but,” He paused to take a small breath. “I just feel tired. Like I took a beating.”

“You did. One hell of a beating.” Jisoo admitted, making it easy to see he was trying to keep the grimace off his face. “But the pain you’re feeling is normal. We could put you back on morphine, but it’s a bit strong and it can make you a bit delusional.”

“No, it’s okay.” Jun smiled small, finding the whole conversation a bit of an effort, for some reason he didn’t know. “It’s a bit hard to breathe, too.”

“The external tissue on your right lung was damaged, hyung, and you have a fractured rib.” Seungkwan explained now, fingers scratching at the plastic by the foot of the bed, where he stood. “It’s not severe, but it makes it a bit harder to breathe.”

“But he’ll be okay, right?” Soonyoung asked before Jun even could, looking over at Jisoo.

“With the proper care, yes.” The older nodded. “We’re keeping a close eye on your breathing, and we’ll start physical therapy once you’re feeling a bit better. Like Seungkwan said, it wasn’t too severe, so you’ll be able to recover fully.”

Jun nodded, feeling a bit more relieved. He was scared, yes, like he knew all of them probably were. But he trusted Jisoo, so he knew deep down he had nothing to fear.

“Am I allowed to eat?” He wondered then. “‘Cause I’m so hungry I could even eat Soonyoung’s cooking.” Wonwoo chuckled at that, and it was nice to see his friend smiling. Soonyoung looked a bit offended, but he could also see the glint in his eyes.

“Yeah, we’ll go grab you some food. I’m pretty sure Mingyu brought something.” Seungcheol smiled brightly, patting his foot.

“We should let them know he’s up, too.” Hansol reminded them.

Junhui was a bit thankful. He was glad they were there, of course, but it was also a bit tiring, talking to eight people at once. Usually it was easy, yet right now he felt it required too much of him. He just needed a little bit of time, to give them all the attention he could give. So he didn’t mind watching them leave.

But he also didn’t want to be alone.

“I’ll stay here.” Jihoon mumbled then, the rest of them pausing to look back. The smaller had a confident look, but Jun could see him fiddling with his sleeves. He was nervous. “Just to keep an eye on him.”

“Alright.” Seungcheol gave the other a knowing look, though Junhui wasn’t sure what that was about. His smile felt nice, though. “We’ll be back soon. Meanwhile, get some rest.” He nodded at Jun.

“Thanks.” Jun nodded back, smiling softly as the rest of them left.

Holding the mask over his nose and lips, he took a few more breaths, feeling a bit better. He still had to think about how it happened, why it happened, but he didn’t want to. Not right now. Not while Jihoon was sitting on the chair closest to him.

“Are you okay?” Jun asked then, putting the mask back down.

The younger blinked, looking back at him. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?” He pointed out.

“They already did.” Jun reasoned. “And I’m hooked up to monitors and painkillers. You know I’m okay.”

“Show off.” Jihoon grumbled, making Junhui smile.

“Jihoonie.” He called, hoping the other would drop the front. Thankfully, it didn’t seem like it was being held up very firmly.

“I was just scared, you know?” The younger admitted, licking his lips. “I was really fucking scared, Jun.”

“I’m sorry.” Jun mumbled, looking down a bit. That was the last thing he wanted, to worry them.

“Don’t, it’s not your fault.” Jihoon quickly pointed out. “None of this is your fault, okay? And it’s not our fault, even if that’ll take some convincing.” He added, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just…”

He went quiet for a moment, but Jun let him take his time. He wasn’t in a hurry, after all. Not now that they were alone.

“I thought it’d never happen, you know? Nothing would ever hurt us, or hurt you, actually. But something did.” Jihoon breathed in, gesturing with his hands as he talked. Jun always found that amusing, like he had to gesture to organize his thoughts. “You’re always happy, and always joking and making us happy, and I…” He pressed his lips together. “I never realized how much you added to my life until I had to imagine it without you.”

Jun blinked a couple of times, taking it all in. He wasn’t sure if it was harder to breathe because he wasn’t wearing the mask, or because his heart suddenly felt like racing. And he hoped the monitor wouldn’t pick that up. It just felt so… Warm. 

“When that happened, I was really terrified, Jun-ah.” Jihoon looked back at him, looking vulnerable and open. A rare sight, indeed. “I couldn’t imagine anything without you there. I couldn’t even fathom the possibility. And I hated myself even more for letting something like that happen without ever telling you how much you mean to me.” The younger sighed.

Jun understood, or he thought he understood, but it felt almost surreal. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying,” Jihoon took a deep breath, reaching out. His hand hesitantly hovered over Jun’s, staying there for a few of seconds before resting over it gently. “I don’t wanna be without you, Junnie.” His cheeks were red and Jun could feel his fingers trembling around his hand. “Because I like you. I really like you.”

Jun could feel his jaw dropping a bit, and he probably looked stupid as hell, but he didn’t care. Sure, part of him still hoped. Jihoon hid a lot, but Jun could tell there was something there, or else he’d never allowed himself to feel the way he did for him. But he also never wanted to push the other into anything. He knew Jihoon had his own special way of seeing the world, and he never wanted to change him in anyway.

“If I had known all it took for you to like me was a couple of shots, I would’ve done that sooner.” Jun mumbled with a soft smile showing on his lips.

Jihoon blinked, his mouth opening and closing a few times. Adorable. “Yah, don’t joke about that! That’s horrible.” The younger frowned, hitting him on the shoulder.

“Hey, I’m injured!” Jun whined.

“Not on this side. This side is free for hitting.” Jihoon pointed out. “And I’m taking it all back.”

“What? No!’ Jun complained, pouting as he squeezed Jihoon’s hand now. “You can’t!”

“Says who?” The younger frowned.

“Says me.” Jun replied stubbornly. “I won’t let you.”

“Why not?” Jihoon asked, though his frown softened slightly.

“Because I really like you too.” Jun blurted out, and maybe his cheeks were red as well, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care for anything other than Jihoon right now, and the way his eyes doubled in size.

“Do you–“

“I mean it.” Jun interrupted before he could finish asking. “And I’m not letting you take that back now that I know, Jihoonie. I’m not letting you go.”

Jihoon sat there with his eyes as big as saucers and his lips parting slightly. And Jun was pretty sure the heart monitor was beeping much faster than it should now, but again, he didn’t care. He just waited, holding Jihoon’s hand in his.

The smaller looked away then, the tip of his ears matching the color of his cheeks. “Then don’t.”

“What?” Jun blinked.

“Don’t let go, alright?” Jihoon mumbled, licking his chapped lips. “Even if you change your mind, you can’t let go anymore.”

Jun blinked again. Once, twice, before smiling brightly, almost a bit goofily even.

“I won’t.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO FIRST OF ALL  
> Thank you so so so much for all the comments. Really. It feels so amazing to read them and to know how you felt about it all and to know people like this fic. Really, really. I'm horrible at expressing myself but please know that I can't thank you enough. All the comments were so precious and it felt so good to know that I was able to get the emotion I wanted through the chapters. It really motivates me to only work harder.
> 
> Regarding that tho, I'm also so sorry if I made anyone cry- I'm too soft ok I could never do something too heartbreaking so i'm sorry if I worried anyone too much orz BUT LOOK HE'S FINE AND DANDY ~~or is he~~
> 
> Also I know this chapter is long as hell and I'm really sorry, but I had a very hard time picking which scenes to put in this one, and at the end I decided that this was the best layout for it. I could also move the little confession scene for the next chapter, but I figured I had already tortured everyone enough and I didn't want to make you wait even longer- Plus it felt nice to end it in a cute note.
> 
> But yes, again, thank you thank you thank you for all the feedback and kudos and hits. Really. It always makes me so excited to know what you think about this work.
> 
> And as always, please don't be afraid to point out any typos. I've reread and rewritten this chapter like 100 times so there's a good chance I missed some lol so you'll be helping me a lot if you find any
> 
> Once again, thank you so much!
> 
> /Edit: Call me stupid but the door monologue is one of my proudest moments and I will not apologize for it ok


	11. I'm not alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Look at us! Nobody here is okay. We can’t have more people breaking down, Wonwoo. We’re already hanging by a thread.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be lighter but somehow it seems more angsty ???  
>  ~~What is wrong with me~~

 

It was already the second morning since the whole mess, though it felt like it had been a week. So much had happened, so much had to be done, that Jeonghan felt he was stuck in a weird temporal loop. Even so, things were a bit better now. Jun was improving, and along with that everyone else’s moods seemed to be improving as well. Of course, he still needed to rest and recover, but they were in no hurry.

Jeonghan had his hair hidden under a white cap and a grey hoodie, for no particular reason. He just liked feeling comfortable. After such a couple of draining days, it was the only thing he really asked for. The boy waited in front of Jun’s room, leaning back against the wall.

“Hey,” Jeonghan blinked at the voice, looking to his right to see Joshua exiting the room.

“Hey, how’s he doing?” The older smiled warmly, pushing his hands into his pockets and standing up straight.

“He’s improving steadily. We still can’t take him off the painkillers, but we might switch to oral soon.” Joshua explained, and Jeonghan couldn’t help but smirk teasingly. “We need to start physical therapy to make sure his lungs aren’t affected.”

“Oral, huh?” The older raised a brow with a playful tone.

“Don’t.” Joshua snickered. “Anyway, he’s up if you wanna see him.”

“No, no.” Jeonghan shook his head lightly, smiling softly. “I mean, I’m glad, but actually I came for you this time.”

“Me?” Jisoo blinked, honestly surprised.

“I’m under strict orders to drag you home if necessary.” Jeonghan grinned.

“Whose orders? Seungcheol’s?” Jisoo snickered. “You’re not one to take orders, you know.”

“His, and mine.” The blonde admitted. “And you’re deviating.”

“I’m not deviating.” Jisoo chuckled, though Jeonghan easily spotted the denial in his tone. “I’ll go home when I’m done here.”

“Your shift ended yesterday, Shua.” Jeonghan pointed out, licking his lips.

“I know.” Jisoo assured him, though the more he tried to, the less convincing he sounded. “I just wanted to stick around a bit longer, okay? We still got work around here, and I’m alright.”

“You stuck around long enough.” The older reasoned, giving him a warm smile. He wasn’t angry at him, he was just worried. Plus, Joshua was far less stubborn than Seungcheol, so the way he approached him had to be much different. “He’s alright.”

“It’s not just him.” Joshua reasoned, though once again he wasn’t selling it very well. “I have other patients.”

“Who have other doctors too.” Jeonghan pointed out. “I know you’re worried about him, but you’re already doing all you can do. You said it yourself, he’s improving.”

“I know.” Joshua sighed, the frustration growing in his frown. “I just…” He bit his lip, looking around. “I need to be here in case something happens. I need to help.”

“I know Jisoo, I get it.” If anyone knew how horrible it was to feel helpless, it was him. “But you can’t help him if you’re running on three hours of sleep on a crappy hospital bed.”

“It’s okay, I’m fine, we’re used to this.” Joshua argued, pushing his hair back.

“No, Shua, you’re not.” Jeonghan insisted, sighing. “You’re used to long shifts, to treating broken strangers and whatever the hell come in through those doors. But you’re not used to this nightmare we’re going through now.”

Jeonghan gulped as he saw the other’s eyes fleeting. He was hurting, they all were, and Jeonghan wanted to help. But he couldn’t take care of them if they didn’t let him.

“Please, Shua.” The older asked, taking his wrist gently. “Come home.”

Jisoo avoided his eyes, looking down between them. “What if something happens?”

“Then Seokmin and Seungkwan will take care of him.” They managed to rest a bit at home, at least. “They’re good Shua, you know that.”

“I don’t doubt that, I trust them, I just…” The younger sighed. “I don’t want to put them through that.” Jeonghan knew what he meant. He hadn’t had a chance to talk to the two yet, but he knew whatever they saw that day was worse than anything he had seen.

“They’re already in it, Shua. We all are.” Jeonghan reasoned, his hand sliding down a bit to thread their fingers together. “I know you trust them, now you need to let yourself go. You need to come home.” He smiled small, ducking his head a bit to catch the other’s eyes. “Just for a little bit. For me?”

Jisoo breathed deeply, squeezing his fingers before nodding lightly. “Okay, you’re right.” He smiled small, broken, but Jeonghan took it nonetheless. He stepped closer, letting go if his hand to wrap his arms around the younger.

“I’m always right.” He teased, squeezing the other lightly. Maybe he couldn’t take care of everyone, but he could take care of him right now.

“Did you talk to Seungcheol?” Jisoo asked then, pulling back. “Did he make a decision?”

Jeonghan sighed, tugging on the strings of his hoodie a bit. “He wants to tell him, but he thinks it’s best to wait until he’s better.”

“And what do you think?” Jisoo raised a brow.

“Honestly? I have no idea.” The older rubbed his neck from under the hood, tilting his head a bit. “I think we got more important things to worry about now.” Jeonghan admitted, smiling small. “And one of them is getting you home.”

“Alright, fair enough.” Jisoo chuckled lightly, taking his hand again only to squeeze it once. “I just need to take care of a few things, and I’ll be right back.”

Jeonghan nodded, squeezing back before letting go. He watched the other walk away for a moment, before opening the door to the room to take a look inside. As usual, he wasn’t alone. Jeonghan smiled as he saw Hansol and Chan half squeezed on the stretched arm chair while practically sleeping on each other.

He really had no idea.

 

 

——

 

 

Minghao had been stalling. Well, kind of. He had gone to see Junhui, of course. But all the times he went were coincidentally when he was also asleep. Mingyu claimed it was not a coincidence, but what the hell did he know? It was Mingyu.

Fortunately, though that depended who one asked, Jun was up when Minghao had just arrived at the hospital that afternoon. And Soonyoung was now pushing him into the room a bit too forcefully.

“I’m going!” Minghao frowned back at him, though Soonyoung kept pushing.

“I don’t trust you until you step into that room.” He argued, making Minghao roll his eyes.

With a stronger push, the younger one stumbled through the open doorway, looking at the other ones already there. Wonwoo was reading a book on the arm chair, and if he disregarded the whole hospital aesthetic, he could think the older was at home.Seokmin was standing next to the bed helping Jun sit up, with a hand on his back and the other on his stomach. Jun was coughing, not too strongly, though his face was clearly twisted in pain and his hands were gripping his gown strongly.

“What’s going on?” Minghao frowned, quickly rushing to the other side of the bed. “What are you doing? You’re hurting him!”

Seokmin blinked, honestly surprised, though Jun was soon chuckling lightly, shaking his head. “I’m fine, Hao.”

Minghao’s brows furrowed together in confusion as he saw the much lighter expression on the other. “But you looked like you were in pain.”

“Oh, I was. That hurt like shit.” Junhui complained, resting back against the raised bed.

“Sorry, hyung.” Seokmin apologized with a gentle smile. “We can take a break now and pick it up again later, alright?” Jun whined but nodded nonetheless, earning a snicker from Wonwoo.

“I’m sorry, but can someone tell me what’s going on?” The youngest in the room frowned, far too displeased now what he was left in the dark.

“They’re starting the physiotherapy.” Soonyoung explained now, standing by the foot of the bed. “Kyeommie helps him cough to make sure his lungs heal properly.”

“You!” Junhui suddenly let out, pointing at Soonyoung.

The accused immediately jumped behind Seokmin, using the younger as a shield. “What did I do?” He whined before he even found out.

“You know what you did!” Jun frowned. “You ruined my reputation.”

“Okay, I’m not saying I agree, but you’ll have to be more specific.” Soonyoung reasoned with a light chuckle, though he quickly hid behind Seokmin again once he saw Jun practically shooting lasers out of his eyes.

“Wonwoo showed me the group chat!” Jun pointed out, scowling. “You drew on my face. My beautiful face!”

“Traitor.” Soonyoung muttered, side eyeing the boy on the chair.

“He wasn’t the one who took advantage of my unconscious state.” Junhui tried crossing his arms, though he immediately regretted it, hiding a wince.

“It wasn’t my idea, it was Jeonghan’s!” Soonyoung pleaded.

“Jeonghan wasn’t the one who put it in the group chat.” Wonwoo spoke out without even looking up from his book.

“You’re not helping.” Soonyoung glared back at him.

“I’m surprised you thought I would.” Wonwoo raised a brow.

“How are you, anyway?” Minghao cut in, hoping to stop the useless banter at once. He sounded okay, but that was one of the problems with Junhui. He always seemed okay.

“Eh, my chest hurts and my abs hurts and I’m bored as hell.” Junhui snickered, looking back at him. “But Seokminnie said I can go home on Friday.” The older grinned brightly then.

“Well, we’ll see how you’re doing.” Seokmin reasoned, smiling softly. “But usually those kinds of lung injuries heal in about five or six days. The ribs take longer, but you don’t need to be in the hospital for that.”

“And for that you gotta stop whining through your sessions.” Wonwoo pointed out, glancing at Jun who now just groaned. Minghao snickered at his annoyed expression.

“How are you, though?” Jun asked him, catching Minghao off guard.

“What?” The younger blinked.

“You didn’t get hurt, right?” Junhui frowned in concern. Leave it to Jun to worry about other people while being stuck in a damn hospital bed.

“No no, I’m fine.” Minghao smiled small, much less convincing than his friend.

“Hao.” Jun called softly.

“I’ll be fine.” Minghao corrected himself, his expression falling a bit more. “But I wasn’t hurt, he ran right after… You know.” He swallowed dryly.

The drop in Jun’s expression was visible, perhaps even more by the weak smile he tried to muster. “I’m glad.” Minghao had no doubt Jun was, but he knew bringing up the incident was affecting him.

“I’m sorry.” The younger blurted out, looking down a bit. “I couldn’t go after him. Not after you…” He licked his lips. There were so many things he could’ve done better. “If I had gone faster, maybe you’d be fine now.”

“Don’t.” Minghao hadn’t even noticed he’d left his hand on the bed until placed his own over it. “There’s no point now, Hao.” The older smiled small.

“But you’re hurt.” Minghao whispered, feeling his throat clamping down on nothing. Even if he didn’t look like it, even if he said he wasn’t, Minghao could see it. Jun was hurt. They all were.

“But I’ll heal.” Jun smiled still, ducking his head a bit to look into his eyes.

Minghao wet his lips, nodding lightly. “Don’t pretend to be fine.” He asked, pleaded, looking back at Jun now.

The other seemed a bit surprised by that, as if caught in the act. He parted his lips to speak, only to close them again, thinking on his words. “I’ll try.” He promised, and Minghao figured that was the most he’d get from him for now. That was okay, a little bit at a time.

“Alright, enough of that.” Soonyoung clapped, causing Minghao to pull his hand back quickly out of reflex. “We should all just forgive each other and grow stronger as a family.” The thief smiled brightly.

“…I’m still not forgiving you.” Jun glared at him, causing the former to let out an inhuman wail.

“But Junnie!” Soonyoung complained.

“You already screwed up, now deal with the consequences.” Woonwoo chanted, smirking.

“Okay, seriously, not helping.” Soonyoung frowned.

 

 

——

 

 

It was their turn to go home now. They had become comfortable with it, at this point. Sure, they’d prefer if things were back to normal already, but things were already going better than the alternative, so there wasn’t a lot of room for complaint. Given Mingyu was spending the night at the hospital though, they decided to order some takeout.

“Hey, the food is here.” Soonyoung called, opening the door to their shared bedroom.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Wonwoo just nodded in return, still sitting in his bed with the laptop in front of him. He had been there for hours already, and sure, he was a hacker, but Soonyoung thought he could at least take a break.

“You know, we need to discuss your habits.” The thief pointed out as he walked into the room, turning on the lights. “If you keep sitting in the dark like that, people will think you’ll return to your emo roots.”

“I was never emo.” Wonwoo frowned, looking up at his friend. “You gotta stop trusting everything Mingyu tells you.”

“I don’t know, those pictures were quite convincing.” Soonyoung grinned, sitting in the middle of the bed in front of the other.

“That was _one_ time.” Wonwoo complained. “Should I remind you of your Fin.K.L video?” He pointed out, raising a brow.

Soonyoung gasped, clutching his chest. “Jihoon showed you that?!”

“Jihoon showed everyone that.” Wonwoo snickered.

“I’m surrounded by traitors.” Soonyoung muttered. Still, he stayed in the room, leaning over to try to peek at his friend’s computer screen. “What were you doing, anyway?”

“Nothing.” Wonwoo mumbled, closing his laptop.

“Wonwoo.” Soonyoung frowned accusingly.

His friend sighed, looking away. He scratched his nape, avoiding the other’s eyes for a moment. Soonyoung could see it though, Wonwoo wasn’t okay. Not that anybody was, lately. “Did you know some lung injuries can lead to lung infections?” He asked softly.

Soonyoung’s expression immediately fell, along with his heart. “Wonwoo…” He shouldn’t be looking at those things, but Soonyoung knew him. Wonwoo liked reading, liked researching, and the thief knew he’d study six years worth of medicine in a night just to understand what was going on.

“I know, I couldn’t help myself.” He smiled bitterly, crossing his ankles. “And they could even lead to respiratory problems, you know?”

“That won’t happened with him.” Soonyoung assured him, though he didn’t know where that confidence came from. Perhaps from sheer ignorance. Or hope. Honestly, he couldn’t really tell the difference between those two nowadays. “You heard Jisoo. He’s doing well, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Even so,” Wonwoo insisted, licking his lips. “He needs to do those breathing exercises to heal, you know? But rib injuries hurt a lot. So even when he’s healing, he’s gonna be hurting, Soon.” He breathed out. “It’s not fair.”

Soonyoung breathed in deeply, nodding lightly. “It’s not.” It wasn’t. Nothing of it was one bit fair. “But we need to trust them. If you keep looking at those things you’ll only torture yourself.”

Wonwoo gulped, nodding a bit, though he said nothing. He only avoided his eyes once again, looking down. It was only then that Soonyoung realized. Fuck.

“Wonwoo, you shouldn’t be doing that.” Soonyoung pushed his hair back, eyes squeezing shut for a moment. Everybody was breaking down, even himself, and he didn’t know how to hold it all together anymore. “Torturing yourself won’t do anybody any good.”

“But it’s not fair we’re okay while he’s in pain.” Wonwoo insisted, frowning.

“We’re already in pain.” Soonyoung pointed out, huffing. “Look at us! Nobody here is okay. We can’t have more people breaking down, Wonwoo. We’re already hanging by a thread.” Soonyoung pleaded, shoulders sagging.

“I know, I know, I just…” He sounded tired, just like all of them. Just like Soonyoung. “I need to weigh all the possibilities, Soon. I need to consider everything. I can’t let something go by. Not again, I can’t.”

Fuck, he felt his heart plummeting now. “You didn’t before, either.” Soonyoung sounded weaker than he meant to. “We couldn’t have seen it coming.”

“But we should have.”

“But we _couldn’t_.” Soonyoung insisted. “Believe me, you’re not the only one blaming yourself here, Wonwoo, but we can’t keep doing this. We’re already doing all we can do.”

“What if it’s not enough?” The other asked, looking up at his friend.

“It will be.” Soonyoung nodded, a bit less confident, yet still determined. It had to be.

With a small smile and a pat to the other's knee, Soonyoung jumped up out of the bed, waiting for the other. "Come on, we gotta make sure Jihoon doesn't eat all our food."

Wonwoo hesitated for a moment, looking at the hand that was extended towards him before taking it. "Alright." He pulled himself up with the other's help, smiling small as well. 

Soonyoung thought to himself then that maybe he could do a bit more. If not for Jun, then for Wonwoo.

 

 

——

 

 

It was the middle of the afternoon when Minghao and Mingyu had come to visit him with food. The taller had made a habit of bringing him food for almost every meal, and although Jun felt a bit guilty for making him cook, he couldn’t complain. That shit was delicious.

“Can you slow down? You’re gonna get yourself sick.” Jihoon reprimanded, sitting next to him with a frown.

Wonwoo and him had been keeping him company for the day, with the others popping by every once in a while. It was a bit flustering, to have them fussing about him so much. As narcissistic as Jun knew he could be, he was also not great at being the center of attention. Thankfully, with those two, he didn’t even feel like he wasn’t at home.

“I eat with my stomach, not my chest.” Junhui pointed out, taking another bigger bite of the bibimbap the younger prepared just to finish the food.

“Technically, he’s not wrong.” Wonwoo reasoned, and Jun raised a thumb as a thank you.

“Just because your lungs are sick it doesn’t mean your stomach can’t get sick, idiot.” Minghao put it bluntly, frowning at the older.

“…He’s not wrong, either.” Wonwoo added, and Jun felt the pain of betrayal once again.

“I thought you were on my side.” The Chinese pouted.

“I’m on the side of reason.” His friend grinned, a bit too smugly in Jun’s opinion.

“Then you shouldn’t be so _unreasonable_.” Jihoon groaned at his joke, but Jun couldn’t help but laughing a bit.

“Maybe I have a _reason_ to be.” Wonwoo replied with a smirk, and the sounds of annoyance now came from everyone but the two.

“Just, stop before it gets any worse.” Mingyu complained, taking the empty food containers to put them back in the plastic bag.

“What gets worse?” They all looked at the door as Seungcheol walked in with Jisoo. The younger of the two then made his way over to the foot of the bed, only to check the clipboard.

“Hyung, their sense of humor is gonna make us all sick. Make them stop.” Mingyu whined, though Seungcheol just chuckled at his suffering.

“You ate all the food?” Jisoo questioned with a surprised look. “I thought you said you were nauseous.”

“I was.” Junhui admitted, nodding a bit. “I couldn’t eat the food here, but Mingyu’s food is too good not to eat.” He snickered, though he wasn’t lying.

“Thanks hyung.” The younger smiled brightly.

“Don’t inflate his ego.” Minghao warned with a frown.

“Don’t be jealous.” Seungcheol reprimanded with a light slap to his shoulder.

“Awh, there’s no reason to be jealous Hao!” Jun cooed. “If it makes you feel better, you’re the best pillow fluffer here.”

“God, no, please don’t say that ever again.” Minghao groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in embarrassment, the rest of them hiding their laughter.

“But it’s true!” Jun claimed with a whine to his tone. What was the big deal?

“Yeah, no, I agree with him. Don’t say that again.” Jihoon advised, his cheeks a hint of red.

“Yeah, otherwise Jihoon will get jealous too.” Seungcheol smirked, and Jun could swear Jihoon could kill the oldest with his eyes at the moment.

“Don’t be mean.” Jisoo snickered, slapping the back of Seungcheol’s head. The older whined in complaint, but Jisoo didn’t give him time to do so properly. “How are you feeling?” He asked instead, looking at Junhui.

“I’m okay. I mean, you know, as okay as I can be.” Junhui snickered, though he didn’t see as much humor in the other faces. “But I think I can go home tomorrow. I’m even breathing better!”

“Alright, I’ll schedule a scan to see how your lungs are doing, there’s no hurry.” Jisoo smiled warmly, guiding him to sit up a bit better. “I need to see how you’re healing, though.” The older opened the upper half of the gown, sliding it down his arms and exposing his torso.

Perhaps he had gotten a bit too used to how he looked in the last four days, but seeing everyone else’s reactions, he remembered that they weren’t. Well, he couldn’t blame them, it wasn’t a pretty sight. The places where the bullets had hit him were bruised beyond compare, now turning into that ugly yellow. Not to mention the stitches sticking out. Jisoo had done a great job of course, but they weren’t that great to look at.

“There’s no sign of internal bleeding.” Joshua pressed down on a few spots, Jun gritting his teeth in return. “No signs of infections, either. So we just need to keep tending to the wounds. You got one hell of a luck, you know?” The older smiled small, helping him slip the gown back on. “The second bullet went right through your abdominal muscle, but it hit nothing major. That’s a million dollar shot right there.”

Jun pressed his lips together, feeling his chest constricting, though for no physical reasons. “Maybe it wasn’t just luck.” He mumbled, though he was sure everybody heard.

“What makes you say that?” The leader questioned.

“You knew him, hyung.” Jun parted his lips, trying to find the right words. He didn’t like talking about this, he could already feel the judgement in their eyes, but Seungcheol had seen it before. He knew what he was saying. Ming Ming didn’t miss.

“This isn’t the same, Jun.” Seungcheol’s voice was soft, and perhaps Jun was being delusional, but he could swear there was some doubt in the other’s tone. “This isn’t targets and bullseyes. People change.”

“People improve.” Jun pointed out, perhaps a bit stubbornly. “They don’t get worse at what they do, not him.” The leader didn’t reply, instead he exchange looks with Jisoo. Looks Jun couldn’t really decipher, but had no time to, either.

“Wait, are you serious?” Minghao frowned once again. “Are you trying to say he missed on purpose?”

“Hao…” Mingyu called gently, holding the other’s arms.

“No, don’t even try.” The younger pulled back, looking more annoyed than Jun remembered seeing him. “Why are you taking his side? Why are you defending him?”

“I’m not defending anyone.” Jun claimed, brows furrowed together. “I just think there’s more to it than what we saw. You didn’t hear him, Hao. Something’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” Seungcheol asked, the curiosity visible in his eyes. “What did he say?”

“He wouldn’t tell me why he was there.” Jun admitted with a sigh, looking down at his hands. “But he kept saying we were biting off more than we could chew. Things like that.”

“That’s not saying much, Junnie.” Jihoon reasoned. Jun wasn’t sure if the nickname was to soften the blow, or out of pity. Though honestly, neither felt great.

“Is that all he said?” Jisoo asked now, his tone a bit more serious than usual.

“Why does it matter?” Minghao suddenly let out, looking at them as if they were crazy. “It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t change what he did.”

“I know,” Jun began, fingers curling a bit before he looked up at the other. “But maybe he did it for a reason. Maybe he needs our help.”

“A reason?!” Minghao began gesturing as his patience ran low. “He shot you!”

“Hao!” Wonwoo reprimanded, frowning at the other.

“No, you know I’m right!” The younger complained. “He fucking shot you, there’s no reason for that. He could’ve been fucking brainwashed, and there still would be no reason for that. And now you want to forgive him?”

“I’m not forgiving him–“ Jun tried to explain, feeling his head vibrating.

“Yes you are!” The tone was a bit whinier, but still angry, still frustrated. “There’s no excuse for what he did. He shot you and he left you there. And if we hadn’t gotten there–“ The younger stopped himself, gulping. “I don’t know who he was before, and honestly, I don’t give a shit. But even you should see he’s not the same person anymore.”

“Minghao, stop.” Jihoon’s tone was cold, but his eyes were begging.Junhui would be grateful, if only he could control his own emotions right now.

He felt suffocated, because Minghao was spilling truths he never wanted to hear. Because he was fine, he was fine if he didn’t have to think about it, he was fine if they talked about anything else. He was fine, until they brought him up. And now he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like his wounds were the least of his concerns.

“No, I can put up with you forgiving your bullshit of a family. I don’t get it, but I can put up with it.” Minghao grit his teeth, pushing his hair back. “But this is too much, Jun. That guy isn’t your friend anymore. He shot you, he hurt you. He almost _killed_ you. He doesn’t care about you–“

“I know!” Jun let out, gripping the sheets beneath me with more might than he thought he had. “Don’t you think I know, Hao? I’m not stupid, okay? I know I look stupid, but I’m not.” He spat, eyes beginning to sting yet again.

“Jun, you don’t–“ Wonwoo tried, but Jun didn’t gave him a chance.

“I don’t care.” He breathed out, pushing his hair back. He knew he’d regret those words later, but right now it didn’t matter. He was hurting, he was tired of hurting, and he wanted it to stop. “I know, okay? I know he hurt me, I know he shot me. I was there, I remember, I know.”

Junhui sniffled, rubbing his palm against his eyes as they began to spill. “And maybe there’s no reason, maybe he just did it to hurt me. Maybe… Maybe he did miss.” The older sighed, looking at the rest of them. They were hurting, it was clear. They were hurting because of him.

“I know it’s hard to understand, but it makes me feel a little better to think he had a reason.” Jun admitted, pleaded. “Can’t you just let me have this? Can you just let me hurt a little bit less?” His voice was shaky now, breathy, but he was too tired to hide any longer.

He couldn’t figure out the look Minghao gave him, and part of him didn’t want to. Not if he was the one to blame for it. “But it’s not real, Jun.” The younger whispered, though it was loud enough for them.

“Maybe.” Jun admitted, breathing in deeply. As deeply as he could, at least. He didn’t wanna fight, not with them. Not with him. “I’m getting a bit tired. Can you guys come back some other time?” He asked, starting to recline the bed once again.

“Hyung…” Mingyu called softly, though Jun was already closing his eyes.

“ _Please_.” He asked firmly, afraid his voice would break.

Thankfully, they listened to him, and Jun could hear all of them leave the room. Well, most of them at least. He felt a hand on his as he turned his face away, never catching a glimpse of who it was. He was grateful still, even if he didn’t show it.

 

 

——

 

 

Hansol had been the one to volunteer to stay in the room that night. After the second night, they had decided that there wasn’t much point in more than one sleeping in the room with Jun. The arm chair was the only one that stretched after all, and it was a bit small for more than one person.

Vernon, however, was used to sleeping in unusual spots, given he often took the couch in their older place. So it was easy to say he was the one who usually slept best in the room. However, it was almost inevitable not to wake up once or twice during the night. And most times, he just turned around and went back to sleep. But perhaps for some unknown reason, he was meant to wake up that one time.

He had no idea what time it was, exactly, but he did know something. He heard whimpering, small noises that sounded almost like they came from a sad animal. Hansol slowly sat up, looking over at the bed. Junhui was on his side, with his back turned towards him. It was dark, the younger couldn’t see well, but he knew then the sounds came from him.

“Hyung…?” Hansol called softly, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. Junhui visibly flinched, causing the younger to become a bit more alert. “Hyung, are you hurt?”

The older sighed, turning onto his back, not before rubbing his eyes, apparently. His brows were pinched together though, and even if Hansol couldn’t see much in the dark, he could see the skin of his cheeks glistening slightly under the light that came from the window..

“I can call Kwannie if you want.” Hansol mumbled, reaching out to press the red button next to the bed. His hand didn’t reach it though, as he felt Jun’s fingers wrapping around his wrist.

“Don’t.” the other asked, looking up at Hansol with moist eyes. “I’m fine, Hansolie.”

“You’re not fine.” The younger frowned a bit. Clearly, he wasn’t fine.

“Maybe, but it’s not something they can help with.” Jun smiled bitterly, and only then did Hansol understand.

“I can still call him.” Hansol offered. It had been a while since he’d taken his painkillers, and no doubt Seungkwan was better at helping people with emotions than he was.

“Can you wait a bit?” Jun pleaded, slowly letting go of his wrist. “Just ‘till I’m better.” He could read between the lines. Hansol could be oblivious as hell, but he knew what Junhui was saying. He didn’t want to be seen like that.

“Alright.” The younger nodded, pulling his hand back as well. Not that there was any shame to be seen like that. None of them would judge him, especially not Seungkwan. But his friend had already been though so much, who was he to deny him this one little thing?

“Thanks.” The older smiled small, yet it vanished quickly.

For a moment, they just sat there in silence. Hansol didn’t know what to say. He considered himself close to Jun. Sure, they were all friends, but Junhui was always someone he had an easy time joking around with, someone who he had no awkwardness with. Yet right now, right when it mattered, he didn’t know what to say. Maybe it was because no one really sought him often for emotional comfort. Maybe it was because he’d never seen Jun quite like this.

He could feel his fingers starting to fidget, his foot bouncing lightly in the air. It frustrated him, not being able to help. He wanted to be a good friend.

“I’m sorry.” The younger blurted out, not knowing what to say.

That seemed to hit the other out of the blue though, who looked at him with bigger eyes. “Uh?”

“I’m sorry.” Hansol breathed out, pushing his short hair back. “I’m sorry you’re hurting, I’m sorry I can’t help.”

Jun smiled softly at that. Small once again, but honest, perhaps amused by the other’s honesty.

“It’s not your fault, Hansolie.” The older pointed out, looking up. “None of this is. There’s no reason to be sorry.”

Hansol swallowed dry, pressing his lips together. “You know none of it is yours either, right?”

Jun didn’t reply at first, only looking up at the dark ceiling. “Some of it is.” He finally mumbled, before looking back at Hansol. “If I had made him stay…”

“I know you, hyung. If he didn’t stay, it’s not because you didn’t try.” Hansol reasoned, but Jun didn’t look convinced.

“I still could’ve been a better friend.” The older whispers brokenly, breathing deeply. If Hansol didn’t know any better, he’d say he was trying not to cry more.

“No offense hyung, but that’s bullshit.” Hansol smiled softly to avoid any harsh tones. “You can be a bit conceited sometimes, but if there’s one thing you’re not is a bad friend.”

“Or maybe you’re just too nice.” Jun pointed out, a smirk playing on his lips. It was good to know he still had some sense of humor, at least.

“Nah, Minghao-hyung has told me repeatedly that’s not the case.” Hansol snickered.

“Well, Hao doesn’t have the best moral compass to begin with.” Jun let out an airy chuckle, though it didn’t keep his expression up for long.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Hansolie.” He sighed, sounding like he was struggling with his words. “I want to, but I don’t know if I can be happy. Not right now.” The look Jun gave him felt like needles to his skin. It stung, it hurt, and if it was just a fraction of how the other felt, Hansol had no idea how he was smiling in the first place.

“Then don’t be, hyung.” Hansol frowned slightly. “We don’t want you to be happy. I mean, shit, that came out wrong–“ The younger ruffled his own hair a bit, trying to reorganize his words. “What I meant to say is, we want you to be okay. Like, we want you to be happy, but we can’t be happy all the time, you know? And now it’s not the time to be happy. It’s the time to be sad, and angry, and just… Yeah.”Hansol sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Clearly, words weren’t his forte. “So if you’re not happy, don’t be happy, hyung. It’s okay not to be.”

Jun seemed to be searching for words as well, given the look he gave him. His eyes were soft, his mouth half open, but he didn’t argue. He just looked exhausted, even in the dim lighting of the room. “Thanks, Hansol.” He smiled once again, though this time he looked relieved.

Hansol returned his grin, helping him put the mask back on. “Happy to help, hyung.” Sure, he was surprised he actually managed to help, but Hansol would be lying if he said it didn’t feel great. Bittersweet, but great nonetheless.

 

 

——

 

 

Friday finally came along, and just like Seokmin had told them, Jun was allowed to go home. That meant most of them had stayed in the apartment, organizing a little welcome home party for the other. Minghao wasn’t sure if it could considered a party, since they basically hung up a ‘welcome home’ banner that looked like it was made by a five year old – the five year old in this case being Hansol – and bought way too much fried chicken. Well, it was the thought that counted.

Minghao, on the other hand, had gone to the hospital with Jeonghan to help bring their friend home. Actually, he had been dragged to the hospital by Jeonghan under weirdly specific threats. And even if he was still unsure about seeing Jun again, he didn’t want to risk finding his nunchucks in a place they shouldn’t be in.

It’s not like he didn’t want to see Junhui, either. Sure, he was avoiding him, but not because he was mad. Mostly, he was just mad at himself. Minghao had made an ass of himself the day before, and he hadn’t found the guts to go visit him since. He needed to apologize, he wanted to apologize, but Minghao was never good at those things. Not when his pride stood in the way.

“The drivers are here!” Jeonghan sang, opening the door to his room. Just in time apparently, as Junhui was leaving the bathroom now wearing his own clothes, Seungkwan waiting by the side of the bed.

“Does that mean my chariot awaits?” Jun grinned, placing the folded hospital gown on the bed.

“Drop the prince of China act, it’s not gonna stick.” Seungkwan quickly retorted, before approaching the older. “Are you feeling alright? Does it hurt to stand?”

“It’s a bit sore, but nothing I can handle.” Jun admitted, patting the pocket of his sports jacket, making a rattling sound. “Took two of those, just like you told me.”

“Good. Don’t take more for another six hours.” Seungkwan nodded. “If you feel any pain before that, let us know and we’ll give you something else.”

“Look out Jeonghan, he’s trying to steal your mom job.” Jun snickered, earning himself a slap to the shoulder by the younger.

“Excuse me?” Jeonghan complained. “No one’s taking that from me, not even my own child.”

Minghao couldn’t help but groan at that, and he figured it was only then that the other two noticed him. Well, it wasn’t their fault, he was still half way out the door, with Jeonghan in front of him. The oldest seemed to notice though, quickly stepping aside and pulling the other forward.

“Hey!” The younger complained, pulling his arm away from his hyung.

“Hi Hao.” Jun called, making Minghao look at him. He didn’t sound angry. Maybe a bit shy, but not angry. And he didn’t look mad either.

Minghao gulped, wetting his lips as he thought of what to say. “Hi.” Awesome, great start. He could be a poet, even.

Jeonghan nudged at his back now, making him step forward. Minghao looked back to throw him a glare, but he didn’t look very affected by him. Stupid Jeonghan, calling his bluff.

“Look, I…” Minghao tried again, looking back at his friend. He could do this, Seokmin did it all the time. Just apologize.

“It’s okay, Hao.” Jun smiled warmly, making the younger blink. “I forgive you.”

Minghao frowned a bit stubbornly. “But I didn’t even say I was sorry.” He complained.

“So you’re not?” Jun blinked, though he didn’t look like he was judging.

“No, I am.” Minghao admitted with a huff. “But you should’ve let me apologize first, otherwise it’s just rude.”

Jun seemed to chuckle at that, making Minghao smile as well. It was okay, they were okay. Minghao felt as if he could finally breathe, letting out the air in his lungs.

“I’m sorry.” He finally said it, trying to convey all of his honestly as he looked into the other’s eyes.

“I know, I’m sorry too.” Jun admitted with a warm grin. “Come here.” The older called, opening his arms as much as he could.

“No.” Minghao shook his head. “I’m not doing that.”

“Awh, come on Hao.” Jun whined. “Make a sick man’s wish come true.”

“You’re not even sick.” The younger pointed out with a skeptical look, though soon Jeonghan was pushing him forward again.“Ugh, fine.” He conceeded, walking towards the other and standing in front of him for a moment before hesitantly wrapping his arms around him.

“Not too tight.” Seungkwan warned, though Minghao was careful, only letting the taller rest his arms around him for a bit before pulling back.

“Alright!” Jeonghan clapped, a wide grin on his face. “Now that all my kids are made up, it’s time to head back.”

“We’re not your kids.” Minghao rolled his eyes, though the eldest chose to ignore him.

“I’ll go change in the locker room and I’ll meet you guys outside.” Seungkwan informed them, following Jeonghan out the door.

Minghao waited for the two to leave before looking back at Jun. “Just a heads up, there’s a surprise party thing waiting for you at home.” He wasn’t supposed to say anything, but given the guy was coming out of the hospital, he thought it was fair to give him a warning.

“Oh, I know.” Jun smirked. “Seungkwan’s shit at keeping secrets.”

Minghao snickered then, nodding before turning to leave. A hand wrapping around his wrist pulled him back though, and he looked over his shoulder to see his friend biting at his bottom lip.

“Hao,” He called, looking up into his eyes now. “I didn’t say it before, but thanks for saving my life.” He smiled softly, but Minghao could see it was no joke.

It was an odd thing to hear, no doubt, but it did bring a warmth to his chest. The younger nodded a bit, returning the smile with a warm one of his own.

“Thanks for saving mine.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND EVERYTHING REALLY THANK YOU
> 
> Despite what I've thought before, this chapter was a bit harder to get it out. I think it was a combination of a busier week with the crazy weather making my nose hate me. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd get it out today, but the power went out yesterday and I actually managed to write two scenes I really liked, so I was able to finish all today.
> 
> I'm sorry if there's more typos than usual, I usually revise everything twice before posting, but since I've been feeling a bit under the weather today, I've only revised once. I'm okay though, don't worry. This is just the usual "seasons changing and kicking my ass" sort of thing. Either way, if you find any typos or something confusing, please let me know!
> 
> Once again, thank you so so much for all the support. It makes me so incredibly happy to know that people like this fic and are even able to relate to some of the characters. So please, don't be afraid to tell me what you think!


	12. Am I going by the seasons alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonwoo watched him as he stood up, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “What’s in it for me?”
> 
> “Not much, really.” The older smiled. “We mostly do it just for the adventure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR TAKING LONGER THAN USUAL 
> 
> Some meanie background for you all

 

_\- - / 05 / 2013_

 

This was a bad idea. Everything about this screamed ‘bad idea’. Yet here he was, sitting on the bench of a nearly empty park, picking on the little fabric balls forming on his jeans. He didn’t know why he wore jeans, given it was the end of winter and still pretty much freezing. Just like he didn’t know why he agreed to meet up with a complete stranger. Apparently, Wonwoo wasn’t great at decision making.

He took a deep breath, watching the white air leave his lips as he breathed out. Maybe it was just a prank, maybe no one would show up. Maybe he’d just go back to his boring room and his boring classes and his boring life. At least there was nothing different about that. Nothing dangerous. Nothing new.

“Seat taken?” Wonwoo blinked out of his stupor as he looked up to his right, watching a guy who seemed around his age with slightly big ears and an inviting smile.

“I guess not.” Wonwoo shrugged, fixing the beanie on top of his head.

“Stood up?” The other wondered, his round eyes turning a bit bigger.

“I don’t know, maybe.” He admitted, smirking a bit. “Might’ve saved my own ass, though.” Perhaps this was for the best, anyway.

“How so?” The man blinked, and Wonwoo was impressed the guy was that interested. He was also impressed with himself for actually sharing so much information. Not that any of it was important, but still, he’d never been the most extroverted guy. There was just something about the guy next to him that made him easy to talk to.

“I kinda set up to meet someone I don’t know.” Wonwoo admitted with a snicker.

“If you don’t know them, how did you set it up?” The male raised a brow, seeming a bit confused.

“We met online, kinda.” He explained, though he couldn’t really tell him the whole deal. Not if he wanted a potential arrest. “And they wanted to meet here. So I told them I’d come wearing a beanie,” He pointed to the one on his head. “And they’d find me.”

“Huh.” The other nodded a bit. “Do you know what they look like?” He wondered, looking around.

“Not really.” He sighed.

“Do you know their name?” The boy asked instead, looking back at him.

“Nope.” Wonwoo replied, feeling more stupid now that he talked about it out loud. This was how people ended up on those stupid ass Facebook posts about scams. Oh God, don’t let him be on a clickbait Facebook post.

“Well, for a smart guy, that’s not a very smart thing to do, Wonwoo.” The other grinned, watching him.

“Tell me about it.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes.

Wait.

Wonwoo quickly turned to the other with his eyes widening. If he was in a cartoon, there would most likely be a lightbulb lighting up on top of his head right now. This was the guy? _Him_? He couldn’t be much older than him. How did he seem so scary through a computer screen? This guy was like a hybrid of a camel with a puppy.

“How– What– _You’re_ the weird hacker guy?” Wonwoo let out, his heart beating a bit too fast in his chest.

“Uh, not exactly.” The other chuckled lightly, clearly amused by Wonwoo’s confusion. How nice of him. “He’s my friend, but we work together.”

“Work together? You’re like 17.” Wonwoo frowned, eying the other up and down.

“Hey, I’m older than you!” The scowled, apparently not very pleased by that comment.

“Okay, how the hell do you know that?” Wonwoo asked, getting a bit too preoccupied by now. “And how do you know my name?” He hadn’t told them any of that.

“Well, you were a bit hard to find.” The guy admitted, his posture relaxing a bit. “I mean, you gave Woozi one hell of a headache, it was kind of hilarious.” He grinned widely.

“Woozi?” Wonwoo’s brows furrowed along with his question. “Is he the hacker?”

“Yeah, he’s the one who managed to find out who you were too.” The other nodded, pushing his black hair back. “Took him like two nights up. He was _not_ pleasant, believe me.”

Wonwoo wet his lips, nodding a bit. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting any of this. He was expecting maybe a big guy in a suit, possibly with sunglasses, some type of secret agent shit trying to either recruit him or brainwash him. Not a guy who looked like he could be delivering pizza to the poor.

“And you are?” Wonwoo finally asked, taking a deep breath.

“Ah, of course!” The guy nodded quickly, chuckling a bit. “Sorry, I’m S.Coups. Or Seungcheol, if you prefer.”

“S.Coups?” Wonwoo frowned, perhaps a tad too judging. “What the hell of a name is that?”

“What the hell of a name is Meanie?” The guy, Seungcheol, asked in return, and okay, he’d gotten him there.

“It’s an alias, I don’t actually use it with people.” Wonwoo grumbled, looking away a bit. It wasn’t even his idea, Mingyu had come up with it.

“Yeah, because that’s much better.” Seungcheol smirked, and Wonwoo found himself smiling a bit as well.

“Alright, Seungcheol.” Wonwoo slapped his knees, grabbing at them for a moment to give himself courage. At least it was less intimidating, talking to him rather than a guy twice his size. “Why did you wanna meet, then? I’m honestly kinda lost right here.”

The other chuckled, raising a hand. “Yeah yeah, I kinda got that.” He admitted, and Wonwoo felt a bit bad for being so easy to read. “To be honest, I kinda just wanted to talk about what you did with DM Corp.”

Wonwoo blinked then, not having expected that. Oh well. “I’m gonna assume you’re too young to be a cop.”

Seungcheol snickered, shaking his head. “Far from that. You’re safe, don’t worry.”

“Well, then you should already know what happened.” Wonwoo shrugged. “They were selling client private data and sending the money to offshore accounts.” There was more to it than that, but there was no point going into details. The story had broken out last week, and it was still all over the news.

“Yes, but they had a pretty fail proof plan going on there.” Seungcheol reasoned, pursing his lips with a tilt at the corners. “So how did it fail?”

“They got cocky.” Wonwoo smirked. “That’s the thing, they always get cocky. Get a bit too drunk at parties and start bragging way too much.”

“And you’re one to go to DM Corp parties?” Seungcheol raised a brow. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he was impressed or surprised.

“Occasionally.” Wonwoo hummed with another shrug.

“Huh.” Seungcheol let out, blinking. “And then you just, managed to find all the files?”

“It’s easier to find something when you know what you’re looking for.” Wonwoo pointed out with a small smile. “Plus, their virtual security is crap. They should’ve put more of that dirty money on it.”

It was nice to see the other laughing, at least it gave him some relief. Wonwoo was pretty sure now he wasn’t there to call him out on it or threaten him, so he could relax a little bit.

“You know,” the other began, licking his lips. “Woozi’s pretty awesome at what he does, as you could probably tell.” A bit terrifying, if Wonwoo would be honest. After all, the guy found out his name and age without having anything on him. “But he’s still just one person.”

Wonwoo raised a brow, wondering if that was going where he thought he was. “So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying, we got a big thing coming up soon. It’ll be a lot of work.” Seungcheol explained, and yeah, this seemed to be going where Wonwoo thought. Was he for real, though? “Wouldn’t hurt to get a bit more help.”

“My help?” Wonwoo tried to make sure he was understanding him right.

“Think about it, alright?” Seungcheol asked, patting his shoulder. “We’re not big, but we’re trying to do the right thing here too.”

Wonwoo watched him as he stood up, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “What’s in it for me?”

“Not much, really.” The older smiled.“We mostly do it just for the adventure.” He shrugged once again, the grin not leaving him as he turned to walk away. “Think about it, yeah?”

Wonwoo didn’t reply, but he nodded, already thinking it over in his head.

An adventure, huh?

 

 

——

 

_2010_

 

“Hyung!” Mingyu called out as he entered the house, though it was a bit useless. Knowing Wonwoo he was probably locked up in his room way too into some computer game, and clearly too ignorant of anything else going on in the house.

Not to mention it was a big place. Two floors, three suites and two regular bedrooms, and Mingyu had forgotten how many bathrooms. Surely too much for a family of three, but nothing he hadn’t seen before. People in their neighborhood liked flaunting their money in different ways.

The young boy made his way inside with the key his friend had given him, leaving his shoes by the door before heading upstairs. He carried his backpack on one shoulder, the tupperware in his hand still warm as he headed straight to the other’s bedroom.

“Hyung, you seriously need to leave a door open or something.” Mingyu complained as he opened the door, shifting and tossing his backpack onto the desk. “Someone’s gonna come in and you’ll have no idea.”

Like he’d predicted, Wonwoo was on the bed, entertained by his own laptop. Mingyu could see the bottle of orange liquid by the nightstand though, and what he assumed was now a warm ice pack.

“You’re the only one who has the key.” From outside the family, of course. Mingyu knew that didn’t need to be said though.

“What if I lost it?” He pointed out, taking the now warm pack and placing it on the desk to make room for the tupperware.

“Then you wouldn’t get another one.” Wonwoo replied in monotone, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

“Hyung!” Mingyu whined, getting then at least a grin from the older.

“If you came yo whine you can leave.” Wonwoo teased, though Mingyu knew he wasn’t serious. He could whine his ass off to Wonwoo and he still wouldn’t kick him out.

“I came to bring you food, you ungrateful thing.” Mingyu grumbled, heading to the desk to grab the spoon in the front pocket. He then walked back, placing the spoon on the lid a bit grumpily before sitting next to the other on the bed. There was more than enough space for the two of them, after all.

“Hey, I’m still your hyung.” Wonwoo chided, putting his laptop aside before being handed the tupperwear. “Congee?” He asked, taking the spoon and opening the blue lid.

“Of course it’s congee.” It was almost like a ritual. Whenever Wonwoo got sick, which was far more often than Mingyu would like, he’d pay him a visit and make him congee. Apparently, it was the only thing he could eat that didn’t make him want to puke.

“How are you feeling?” the younger asked then, feeling a bit warm from watching the other eat.

“Eh, been better.” Wonwoo shrugged, speaking between spoonfuls. “Been worse though, don’t worry.”

Mingyu nodded lightly, wetting his lips. “When did it start? Did you get any sleep?”

“Around 5, I think?” Wonwoo looked up in thought, tilting his head like he did when he tried to recall things. “I did sleep a couple more hours later though, don’t worry.”

When Mingyu had failed to see Wonwoo around the school, he’d figured that was the reason. It wasn’t rare for Wonwoo to have stomach problems. Nervous gastritis or something like that, he had told him once. Still, he had hoped the other had just overslept.

“You should still get some rest. And you should finish that bottle, you know you can get really dehydrated.” Mingyu instructed, watching as the other continued to eat at his own pace.

“If my mom put half that effort I’d say you’re like a mom.” Wonwoo teased with a snicker.

“Shut up.” Mingyu held back a chuckle, shoving his friend lightly. “Where are they, by the way?”

“Australia?” Wonwoo wondered, licking his lips. “Or maybe New Zealand, I don’t know. Some work trip or something.” He chuckled then, raising his hands while still holding the spoon to make an attempt at air quotes. “ _Work_.”

“What? You think they lied?” Mingyu blinked. Sure, his parents were never the most loving, but there was no reason to lie, right?

“No, I just don’t think what they do should be considered work.” Wonwoo shrugged, wiping his lips with his sleeve. Mingyu frowned at that and made a mental note to bring napkins the next time.

“You still think they’re up to something?” The younger raised a brow, watching as his friend sighed and put the lid back on the food. He hadn’t finished it, but at least he ate a good amount.

“I don’t think so, I know so.” Wonwoo took his laptop again, this time allowing Mingyu to see what he had been doing.

To his own surprise, it wasn’t a game. It just seemed like a few long row of numbers and jumbled letters, and they honestly made zero sense to him.

“It’s the bank transfers from the company.” Wonwoo explain, reading the confusion in his face.

“Your parents company?” The other nodded. ”How did you even get that?” Mingyu frowned. He knew Wonwoo’s father wanted to get him more into the company, but it had never been something the older enjoyed. So he doubted the man had suddenly given him access to that kind of stuff.

“I installed something in my father’s computer that records everything he does.” Wonwoo explained, though he had to continue, given Mingyu wasn’t really following. “Not like, the screen. But what programs he opens, what he accesses, his keys. That sort of thing.”

“How did you even do that?” He knew Wonwoo was a bit of a computer nerd. Okay, maybe not just a bit. But still, he had no idea he was a national security threat. “Is that legal?”

“It’s not that hard, there’s a lot of forums on how to program it.” Wonwoo mumbled as if it was no big deal, brushing off the last question. “It doesn’t matter. There’s something fishy about this, Gyu.”

“Of course it matters. I’d rather prefer if the cops didn’t kick through the door right now.” Mingyu scowled, crossing his arms.

“Maybe they should.” Wonwoo looked back at him, a bit too serious for his liking.

“What do you mean?” Mingyu blinked, his expression softening a bit.

The elder sighed, looking back at the computer and using the cursor to show where he was looking at. “Look at this. All these transfers, they’re unaccounted for in the reports. I’ve read through them already, there’s nothing there.”

“So? they could’ve forgotten.” Mingyu offered, but he knew it was a long shot.

“This much money? No way. They need to put this in for taxes and other shit.” Wonwoo explained, rolling down to show everything, though for Mingyu it didn’t make much of a difference. He still couldn’t understand much.

“But those are like, going out, right?” Mingyu pointed out. “I mean it’s not like they’re receiving something. They’re paying for something, right?” From the bit he could understand, red meant loss and green meant profit.

“Yeah.” Wonwoo sighed, pushing his messy hair back. “Or loaning.” He added, looking back at Mingyu now.

“You don’t think…?” Alright, Mingyu wasn’t a genius, but he wasn’t dumb either. He knew where Wonwoo was going with this. But could it be?

“I don’t know.” The older admitted, shoulders slumping. “This is all I got so far, and it’s not much to go on. I need more.”

“Be careful, hyung.” Mingyu warned. It was useless to tell him to let go, Wonwoo was far too stubborn for that. But this was a delicate thing, and the last thing Mingyu wanted was for his friend to get hurt. “Just, leave this for now, okay? Don’t look at it anymore for today.”

Wonwoo looked back at the computer screen, chewing at his bottom lip. After a moment or two, he nodded, closing the windows. “Fine, okay.” He agreed reluctantly.

Mingyu smiled at that, glad the older didn’t put up a fight. Now wasn’t the time to get stressed, anyway. What he needed was rest, lots of water, and maybe a shower.

“Whatever it turns out to be, you know you got me, right hyung?” Mingyu offered along with a soft smile, leaning over a bit to get the other to look back at him.

Wonwoo gave in, nodding a bit before meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I know Gyu. And I’m here for you too.” He smiled softly, throwing an arm over his shoulders. “But if you lose your keys you’re sleeping on the porch next time.”

“Hyung!”

 

 

——

 

_\- - / 08 / 2013_

 

Coming to their apartment had become a bit of a routine by now. It had only been one job at first, if they could even call it that. But after hanging out with those guys, Wonwoo found himself wanting to help out a little bit more. Not to mention it was nice to talk geek to someone who wasn’t behind his computer screen once in a while.

So once again, he was at Seungcheol’s apartment right after class. Wonwoo didn’t have a lot of time to get settled though, hearing a knock as he put his backpack down on the couch next to where Jihoon sat with his laptop. Seungcheol and Soonyoung had come out of the kitchen to greet him, while Chan and Jeonghan sat on the floor by the coffee table. The rest didn’t seem to be around, though.

“Who’s that?” Chan asked out, looking at the rest of them.

“Samuel probably forgot his keys again.” Seungcheol reasoned.

“I’ll get it.” Wonwoo offered, given he was the one closest to it. Without paying much attention, he opened the door before actually looking through the peephole.

He had expected maybe to see Samuel with that puppy look on his face, apologizing for forgetting his keys yet again. Or perhaps Jun or Ming Ming hanging off each other while sweating buckets. But one thing he truly did not expect to see was Mingyu standing in front of him with a frown.

“AHA!” The younger exclaimed, pointing a finger at him.

“What the–“ Wonwoo’s eyes widened comically as he looked back at his friend. “What the hell are you doing here?!” He let out, blinking a couple of times just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.

“Who’s he?” Soonyoung asked, leaning onto Wonwoo to look over his shoulder, almost causing him to fall over.

“More like what are _you_ doing here!” Mingyu let out, crossing his arms. “You told me you were at oboe practice!” Oh, shit. He forgot about that.

“Oboe?” Soonyoung asked then, turning to look at Wonwoo. “You play the oboe?” He asked with a surprise look on his face.

“That’s seriously all you took from that?” Wonwoo grunted, shrugging the other off.

Before he could stop him, Mingyu was making his way into the apartment, clearly determined to find out some secret lair or something. Wonwoo could clearly see he wasn’t exactly expecting to find an apartment full of dudes though, with how his expression went from angry to confused.

“Who’s he?” Seungcheol asked this time, looking between Mingyu and him. The rest of them stood up, approaching them as well.

“I’m Mingyu.” The taller answered, frowning a bit. “Who are you?”

“He’s my friend.” Wonwoo clarified, pushing his hair back. “He’s an year younger, actually.”

“I didn’t know we were allowed to bring friends.” Chan pointed out, blinking in confusion.

“I didn’t bring him.” Wonwoo groaned. “I don’t even know how he found me here.” He then elbowed his friend, getting a whine from him.

“I followed you.” Mingyu replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Wait–” Wonwoo scowled, looking up at the taller. “You followed me?” Was this day actually happening or had he fallen asleep during geography again?

“How the hell did you let him follow you?” Jihoon questioned, frowning. “He’s like 2 meters tall.”

“Actually, I’m 1,85.” Mingyu corrected the older, and Wonwoo didn’t even bother reminding him that that was not the point. “And it’s not hard, you know? Wonwoo-hyung’s a bit aloof sometimes.”

“Clearly.” Jihoon muttered, though Wonwoo couldn’t bother with a reply. Instead, he gave him a harsh glare. Apparently, that wasn’t effective either.

“That doesn’t explain why you followed me.” Wonwoo looked back at his younger friend, waiting for a reply. Mingyu wasn’t exactly the stealthy kind of guy. He was more like the whine and annoy you until you spill type. And honestly, as much as Wonwoo hated to admit it, that technique worked most of the time.

“Well, it’s your fault!” Mingyu complained, though he sounded more guilty than annoyed. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks now. What was I supposed to do?”

“Trust me?” Wonwoo frowned, but he felt he took it a bit too far when he saw the look in Mingyu’s eyes. His friend did trust him, Wonwoo knew that, but maybe he had been testing that trust a bit too much lately.

“I can only trust you so much when you’re not telling the truth, hyung.” Mingyu pointed out a bit dryly, and okay, Wonwoo deserved that.

“Alright, alright, there’s no need to get upset.” Seungcheol reasoned, raising his hands as if to settle some sort of conflict. “Mingyu-ssi, I know you might be confused, but you can’t go off telling people we’re here, okay?”

“Who would I tell?” The taller blinked, though he soon looked around. “Wait, why can’t I tell? Is this a secret?”

“Well–“ Soonyoung tried to explain, but Mingyu was already cutting him off.

“Are you spies?” His eyes widened, and Wonwoo wasn’t sure if he was amused or embarrassed by his friend’s innocence.

“If we answer that we’ll have to kill you.” Jeonghan answered with the straightest face possible, causing Seungcheol to sigh.

“Ignore him, no one’s killing anyone.” The leader corrected, giving his friend a warning gaze. Jeonghan didn’t seem one bit affected though, as he replied with only a playful grin. “And we’re not spies.” He added before the other got any new ideas.

“Okay, so if it’s not spy stuff, then why all the secrecy?” Mingyu frowned, and Wonwoo recognized that face. His patience was running low. “Hyung never hid his friends from me before.”

“We’re hacking into something and we need his help.” Jihoon put it bluntly, causing Seungcheol to widen his eyes.

“Jihoon!” The oldest reprimanded, but Jihoon only shrugged. “He wanted to know. Plus, I doubt he’s gonna run and tell.” He did have a point. Mingyu could be a lot of things, a snitch wasn’t one of them.

“Hyung, is that true?” The younger asked, and Wonwoo sighed.

“Yeah.” He nodded, rubbing his own arm. “They found me a couple of months ago, and asked for my help.” Wonwoo almost flinched at Mingyu’s reaction.

“Months?!” The younger let out, clearly disappointed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Damn it, he hated when he gave him the hurt puppy look.

“Well, it’s not exactly legal.” Wonwoo reasoned, though he could see Mingyu knew that wasn’t the entire excuse. “And I didn’t wanna risk getting you in trouble, okay? The less you knew, the better.”

“We also asked him not to tell.” Jeonghan added then, all the teasing gone. “It’s really not his fault.” The older looked back at him with a soft smile, and Wonwoo would make sure to find a way to thank him later.

Mingyu nodded a couple of times, taking a look around. He could see he was still processing it, so Wonwoo let him take his time. “So, you’ve been doing this for months?” He asked, raising a brow.

“Actually, we finished the first thing a while ago, but then more stuff came up, and I don’t know.” Wonwoo admitted. “I just wanted to see things through. We’re not doing anything bad, you know?” He quickly added, raising his hands a bit. “Just… They found out about some people doing some wrong things, and I don’t know, it felt wrong not to help.”

Mingyu nodded yet again, licking his lips. “Then… You’re doing something good?” He reasoned, looking around at the group.

“The way we see it, yes.” Seungcheol looked serious enough about it..

“Alright…” Mingyu nodded, biting his lip in thought. Oh no. Wonwoo knew that look. He knew that look and he hated that look even more. It was the look he always made when he was about to do something stupid. “Then I wanna join.”

Yep, that look.

“No.” Wonwoo quickly shook his head. “No way, you can’t. What would you even do?”

“We can figure something out!” Mingyu replied stubbornly, frowning. “Right? There’s gotta be something I can do.” He offered, looking at the other five, who seemed even more confused then before.

“Uh, well, I mean yeah, but it’s not exactly legal, you know.” Soonyoung explained. “And it can be kind of dangerous.”

“I don’t care.” Mingyu stated. “If Wonwoo is in on it, I want in on it too. I can even help with some chores, you clearly need it.” The younger pointed out, gesturing towards the piles of takeout boxes on the coffee table.

“That’s not how things work. You can’t just be in on it.” Wonwoo frowned.

“He does have a point though.” Seungcheol admitted, looking around at the messy apartment.

“Hyung!” Wonwoo complained, hoping he wasn’t saying what he thought he was.

“We could use some more help.” Jihoon pointed out with a shrug. “I mean, as long as he doesn’t spill, it doesn’t matter, right?”

“You can’t be serious.” The more annoyed Wonwoo became, the more cheerful Mingyu seemed to get. That seemed to be turning into a common occurrence in their lives. Maybe he should try to figure out the formula behind it.

“I’m a good cook, too.” Mingyu added, and Wonwoo wondered why the hell did he think that was useful. “I mean, I’m sure there’s more that I can do too, but–“

“I’m sold!” Soonyoung announced, raising his hand. “All in favor of Mingyu joining?”

“You’re not even the leader!” Wonwoo exclaimed, frustration growing in his veins.

“We’ll need to discuss this better.” Seungcheol pretended to be the voice of reason, but Wonwoo could see in his eyes he was already sold on the homemade meal as well. Weak. “But we can maybe do a trial period for now, to see if that’s what you want. How about it?”

“Awesome!” Mingyu grinned brightly, a great contrast with Wonwoo’s face of utter defeat. “You won’t be disappointed, I promise!” The boy was quickly making his way through the apartment, starting to pick up the trash lying around.

“Does my opinion not even matter?” Wonwoo whined quietly, and Jeonghan only snickered.

“Next time, don’t let yourself be followed.” The older patted him on the back with a delighted smirk, and Wonwoo decided wasn’t going to thank him anymore.

 

 

——

 

 

“This is ridiculous.” Jihoon muttered, the dim light form the candle flickering on his frown.

“We heard you the first three times, Jihoon.” Seungcheol muttered, grabbing a card from his deck to place it on the candle lit table.

“Then I’ll say it again to make it five, this is ridiculous.” the shorter repeated, though thankfully his grumpiness wasn’t really contagious. Or maybe they had all just grown immune to it.

“For someone who finds this so stupid, you’re pretty competitive.” Wonwoo pointed out, watching as Jihoon added a ‘+4’ card to the pile. _Little shit,_ Wonwoo thought to himself as he took the four new cards.

“The game isn’t ridiculous.” Jihoon reasoned, and despite the lack of light, Wonwoo could swear he saw a smug smirk as he now had to buy four new cards. “What’s ridiculous is that we don’t have a generator.”

“We can’t afford a generator.” The leader explained, though he sounded like he’d said that same thing quite a few times before. “Unless you all wanna start saving up to get one.”

“I’m already broke this month.” Jeonghan added quickly, putting down a card to reverse the order of the game. Wonwoo sighed, looking at the options in his hand to play.

“How are you already broke? We’re like in the middle of the month.” Mingyu raised a brow, and Wonwoo had to agree. They all got the same share of every job, after all. It wasn’t much, but it should’ve lasted them at least a month.

“What can I say? I’m a person who requires a lot of maintenance.” Jeonghan smiled, brushing his long hair back with his fingers.

“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” Mingyu muttered, though by the whine he let out, Wonwoo was pretty sure he got a kick for that. “I feel sorry for Seungcheol-hyung,” The younger continued. “He’s the one who ends up paying for all your shit.”

“Don’t feel bad, Cheollie likes it.” Jeonghan grinned brightly, rolling his shoulders a bit to show his smugness.

“I don’t mind.” Seungcheol admitted with a shrug, yet he still threw a glare at his friend. “But don’t push it.” Jeonghan only chuckled in return though, causing the eldest to bite back a smile as well. Wonwoo wasn’t sure what and if anything was going on there, but he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to know.

“Can we focus on the issue at hand?” Jihoon asked, buying yet another card from the pile.

“How we really should get another game other than UNO?” Samuel asked now, and despite the sass, Wonwoo had to give it to him. It was like they had nothing else to play these days when the power went out.

“UNO is a classic.” Soonyoung complained, frowning a bit as he played another card.

“ _Guys_.” Jihoon groaned, trying to get the conversation back on track yet again.

“Not having a generator builds character.” Seungcheol spoke with so much authority, Wonwoo couldn’t help but be reminded of the father in a comic strip he used to read as a kid involving a blonde boy and a stuffed tiger.

“Not having a generator slows down jobs.” Jihoon pointed out bitterly, throwing a glare at his older friend. He fooled no one, though. Jihoon could be a workaholic, but they all knew he was more annoyed by the fact that he couldn’t play his games.

“If it’s that much of a deal, I can try to get us some money.” Wonwoo was a bit surprised Mingyu offered, but it wasn’t a bad idea.

“And where would you get that?” Soonyoung blinked, the others clearly confused as well. “No offense Mingyu, but if you tried to rob a bank I’m pretty sure you’d be caught before getting in.”

“You know, for someone being offered money you’re not being very nice.” Wonwoo snorted at Mingyu’s comeback, but he made no comment. “And I’d just ask my parents.”

“And your parents won’t ask why the hell you wanna buy a generator?” Jihoon pointed out what seemed like an obvious flaw to his plan.

“I don’t need to tell them what it’s for, I can just tell them I need some money to get by.” Mingyu shrugged, the innocence in his eyes taking everyone else by surprise. It was almost amusing.

“Mingyu’s parents are loaded.” Wonwoo explained then, putting down another card. He seemed to be the only one fixed on the game now though, as the others seemed to still be trying to understand what Wonwoo meant by that.

“What do you mean, loaded?” Samuel asked, eyebrows higher than he’d seen them.

“I mean, they’re full of money.” Wonwoo continued, looking around at them. Clearly, they’d forgotten about the game. “You know, rich, wealthy, uncle scrooge money pool.”

“We don’t have a money pool.” Mingyu frowned, though Wonwoo was too busy nudging Jihoon to keep playing.

“Do you have a money hot tub?” Soonyoung asked then, and going by the curiosity in his eyes, Wonwoo was pretty sure he wasn’t joking around. Oh God.

“That’s not a thing.” Mingyu groaned, pushing his hair back. “Wonwoo-hyung is pretty loaded too, you know?”

Wonwoo glared at the younger, knowing Soonyoung would never shut up about it now. Traitor.

“You’re rich and you never told us?” Soonyoung gasped, holding his cards against his chest. “But we’re best friends!”

“That’s literally the first time you called us best friends.” Wonwoo raised a brow. “Plus, I cut them off. I’m not rich anymore.”

Once again, the others seemed surprise at that. In a way, it was kind of comforting. Wonwoo knew Jihoon could’ve found everything out about them, from their school grades to their medical records. So if they had no idea about their families, that meant he probably didn’t look that far into it. Or maybe he just didn’t tell the others. Either way, he was thankful.

“We don’t need a generator.” Seungcheol repeated yet again, now looking a bit more focused on the game. “When we get more money, we can get one. For now, this is fine.”

Wonwoo and Mingyu looked at each other then with matching expressions of surprise. It was new to them, in a way. Not that the guys ever seemed like the most materialistic, but they were used to people becoming a bit more… Interested, whenever they mentioned their money. It was why Wonwoo never really brought it up in the first place. He didn’t want them looking at him in a different way.

“Plus, if we get a generator I’ll have no more excuse for beating your asses at UNO.” Jeonghan announced happily, putting down his last card. “Watch and weep, losers.”

“Wait, what?!” Mingyu exclaimed, his feelings shared by everyone else in the room at the moment. “You didn’t say uno!” The younger complained.

“I just did, didn’t you hear it?” Jeonghan smirked smugly. “Plus, you can not say it as long as you don’t get caught.” Everybody else groaned, putting down their cards in defeat. Honestly, they should’ve seen this coming.

“Do you _have_ to cheat at every game?” Seungcheol grumbled, glaring at his friend.

“It’s not cheating, Seungcheol. It’s strategy.” Jeonghan corrected him, enjoying his victory far too much.

“Strategy doesn’t make you win three times in a row.” Soonyoung accused, pointing a finger at the older.

“It does when you’re that good at it.” Jeonghan complained. “I’ll even prove it. Another round?”

Seungcheol groaned then, pushing his face against his palms. “We really need a generator.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND EVERYTHING!!  
> You guys are too nice srsly Idk what I did to deserve you.
> 
> Aaand we're back to our regular mess of whatever this fic is.
> 
> A couple of things I wanna talk abouttt  
> First of all, sorry for taking so long. I know I have no schedule and I know no one's pressuring me to write, and I am incredibly thankful for that. But I do like posting with a certain frequency.  
> However, this last couple of weeks have been a bit weirdly packed and my allergies have gotten the best of me and I felt like I couldn't do any of the things i really wanted to do.   
> I'm taking care of it though and feeling a bit better, so I just need to get back on track rn.
> 
> The second thing is, I know i've been neglecting a few characters but DON'T WORRY!!!  
> I'm just super disorganized and I really want to bring attention to all of them but I can't do it all at the same time or it will become a bit of a mess-  
> I've wanted to explore more of Wonwoo's and Mingyu's close friendship for a while now, so that's why I decided to go with them for this chapter.   
> But trust me, there's plans for everyone!! Not to mention their back stories.  
> It's okay to ask for/about them though!! I'm so happy people have been showing interest on all of them, it really inspires me to write more about them.
> 
> Also the whole ming ming mess is not settled, I'm sure you know that. Things are just going back to their happy non chronological style ~~for now~~
> 
> As always, please let me know if you spot any typos or something that's too confusing. I always re-read the chapters, but I'm stupid and miss things easily-
> 
> And don't be afraid to let me know what you think!!! I love reading your comments, seriously. I always end up giggling to myself whenever I get one, no matter the length. It really matters a lot to me what you think!! ~~Not to mention I love reading them over and over again whenever I am bored or uninspired or need some motivation.~~


	13. Stuck in trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He himself wasn’t sad, not really. Disappointed? Maybe a little bit, but you could never predict where things might go, which roads you could take. You could only keep moving. And that’s what they did, they kept moving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long and apparently my word count for scenes is always either 900 or 2000, no reasonable amount in between. I clearly have issues.
> 
> That being said, hope you enjoy this nearly 8K mess-

 

_\-- / 10 / 2016_

 

“Alright.” Jihoon overheard Seungcheol when he left his office, curiosity taking the best of him as he made his way to the kitchen.

Around the rectangular table sat the leader, Jisoo, Soonyoung, Mingyu and Seokmin. Seungcheol had a yellow notepad in front of him and a pencil in his hand. He could spot a few things he had jotted down, though Jihoon couldn’t read them from where he stood. Seungcheol’s horrible handwriting didn’t help either. If it wasn’t for the lack of people, Jihoon would’ve assumed they were planning a job without him.

“Mingyu will make the seaweed soup, and I will go with Jisoo to get the cake.” The leader continued, making Jihoon even more confused now as he stood by the doorway. They hadn’t even noticed him there.

“I can go with Chan to get the fog machine.” Soonyoung volunteered, his eyes turning into thin slits as he smiled.

“We’re not getting a fog machine, I told you.” Seungcheol frowned.

“But how can we have a birthday party without a fog machine?” Soonyoung complained, his lips forming a small pout.

“Hyung, most people have parties without a fog machine.” Seokmin reasoned, and to that Soonyoung seemed to surrender.

“Fine fine, but we’re getting the Just Dance, right?” Soonyoung tried instead, eyes a bit more pleading now. Instead of 10:10, Jihoon would say they looked more like 4:40 now.

“You’re the only one who likes dancing so much.” Mingyu pointed out.

“I think it’ll still be nice.” Jisoo added then, making Soonyoung light up once again. “Even if most of us don’t dance, it could be fun.”

“Alright, Soonyoung can go get the game.” Seungcheol granted, throwing his fist in the air celebrating his small victory. Idiot.

Jihoon was pretty caught up now on what they were doing now. After all, there was only one of them who had their birthday in October. He was surprised, however, with all the secrecy.

“Is there a reason only half of you are in on this?” The hacker finally asked out, making everyone else look at him in shock. He could’ve sworn he saw Seokmin almost jumping in his seat, too

“Dude, announce yourself?” Mingyu frowned a bit.

“It’s not my fault you have no idea what’s going on around you.” The shorter pointed out, crossing his arms. “What’s with all the mystery?”

“We’re planning a birthday party for Jeonghan-hyung.” Seokmin replied brightly, his smile shining a bit too much. “A surprise party.” He added in a tone that implied it was a naughty secret

“A surprise party?” Jihoon raised a brow, leaning against the doorframe. “For someone who spends 90% of their time in this apartment?”

“Well, we’re still figuring out the details.” Mingyu defended with a pout, Jihoon smirking at his innocence.

“Good luck with that.” Jihoon snickered, though Seokmin was soon calling for him again.

“You can help us too, hyung!” The younger suggested, though Jihoon was soon frowning at that.

“Why would I? That sounds like work.” His nose scrunched up at the thought. Sure, he cared for Jeonghan and all that shit, but planning a birthday party? Not really up his alley.

“May I remind you that you love work?” Soonyoung pointed out with a smirk, getting a glare in return. Whose side was him on? Never mind, Jihoon should know better than to assume Soonyoung would take his side on this.

“Actual work. Not party planning.” He corrected the other. “Work that I should get back to right now.”

“We don’t have any jobs yet.” Seungcheol smirked. Crap, sometimes he forgot he was the leader.

“Well, I like to be prepared.” Jihoon lied through his teeth, and it was clear no one bought it. Unfortunately, Jihoon wasn’t a great actor.

“You can take him out and distract him for the day.” Jisoo suggested, and he looked innocent, but Jihoon knew too well he was sure of what he was doing. “Can even take Seungkwan with you.” The curves of his smile turned up, revealing his mischievous ways. That little shit.

Jihon groaned, shaking his head. “No, no way. I can’t take an entire day of them.”

“Pfft, you love them.” Soonyoung waved him off, and oh how Jihoon wished he could give him a piece of his mind right now.

“It actually would help a lot.” Seungcheol agreed, making Jihoon groan yet again. Damn his curiosity. “It would buy us a lot of time to get the apartment ready.”

“I never said I’d help.” He pointed out with a huff, though he knew it was a lost cause by now.

“Too late, you’re helping.” The eldest smirked, jotting writing something down on the yellow paper. “And don’t spill anything.”

“I won’t.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the doorframe. “I’d be more worried with that one.” He nudged his head towards Seokmin.

“Why me?” The younger whined, disappointment showing in his tone and frown.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Jihoon pointed out what to him was nothing more than the obvious truth.

“He’s got a point.” Mingyu agreed before his friend could protest. Jihoon didn’t stay longer to see if he would, anyway.

Instead he headed back to his office, wondering how the hell he’d entertain a Jeonghan and a Seungkwan for a day without losing his mind. So far he had no idea.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 03 / 2017_

 

A lot of things had changed since returning home. More things that he could’ve predicted, really. Sure, Jun knew he wouldn’t go back to training right away. Not to mention he had to take meds, continue physical therapy, all that jazz that made his routine quite different from before.

However, all that he had already expected. What he didn’t expect was the other little, random things. Like how when they put on an action movie, they always looked at him when the shooting began, as if to make sure he was alright. Or how they always avoided playing the more violent games when he was around. It wasn’t bad, far from it. It actually made him feel nice, to know all of them cared about him so much.

Jisoo had warned them that he could have some negative reactions towards certain things, that it was okay and normal, and he shouldn’t be afraid to tell them when it happened. Yet it didn’t happen. Jun didn’t feel bad watching those movies, or even playing those games. They had been doing that years before anything happened, and he knew it wasn’t related. They were just fiction, fake. Things they did for fun.

So he figured maybe he was okay, maybe that wouldn’t happen to him.

“You know you can ask either of us for help, right?” Seokmin asked as they watched Seungkwan half climbing on one of the kitchen counters, trying to reach the top of the fridge, where someone had so nicely placed the cereal.

“No! I need to prove that I can do this own my own.” The younger replied grumpily, though he was clearly failing.

“But you can’t.” Jun pointed out, hiding a smirk behind his coffee cup as he watched Seungkwan from behind.

“What if all the tall people are out and we need to fend for ourselves?” Seungkwan continued, looking back at him. “We need to learn how to reach things.”

“Or you can just climb on Jihoon-hyung’s back.” Dino suggested from the kitchen table, sitting next to Hansol.

“Pretty sure that would get us all killed in a second.” Hansol reasoned, and Jun had to admit he had a point there.

“Not to mention I probably still wouldn’t reach anything.” Seungkwan muttered, making the Chinese boy snicker.

“You’re lucky he didn’t hear that.” Jun grinned, watching as the other began stretching out again to get the cereal.

“Almost, there–“ Seungkwan grunted, getting one foot off the ground while his other knee was on the counter, his hand trying to grasp the light blue box yet almost knocking it down. “AHA!” The boy cheered, finally grabbing the cereal and raising it triumphantly.

“Congratulations. You just took ten minutes to grab a box of cereal.” The irony dripped from Chan’s voice, causing Seungkwan to turn back with a frown.

“Listen here, you little hormonal pubescent brat–“ Before he could finish though, the angry boy lost his balance, and Jun rushed over to make sure the genius wouldn’t fall over.

And he didn’t. Well, he fell on Jun, knocking his coffee over him and properly ruining a perfectly nice shirt. But they were okay, sort of. They should be okay.

However, right now, Jun couldn’t really process anything. All he felt was the coffee, drenching his chest, hot and wet and making the shirt cling to his skin. The familiarity of it was almost suffocating, and it took him a moment to realize someone was talking to him.

“Hyung!” Jun blinked over at the boy in front of him. He looked a bit scared, worried, eyes a tad too open and brows just a bit too close together. “I said I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“Uh? Yeah, I…” The taller one looked down, realizing his shirt was in fact drenched, but of a light brown. For some reason, he was expecting something else. He looked further down then, noticing the shattered cup on the floor. Had he dropped that? Jun looked around, noticing the others’ concerned looks as well now. He felt cornered, and hot, still very hot. And drenched.

He nodded once or twice, wetting his lips. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just… I’m gonna go change.” He nodded yet again, stepping back.

“Wait, let me help–“ Seungkwan reached out for his wrist, and without thinking, Jun was pulling back quickly.

“ _No!_ ” He let out, a little louder than he intended. The older gulped, hurting from the look of fear in the other’s eyes. He didn’t want to scare him, or any of them. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, looking around at them. “Thanks, I’m.. I don’t need help, it’s okay.” He nodded once again before leaving to the bedroom.

He couldn’t really understand what was going on, why his heart was racing so much and why his ears were ringing. The first thing he did when he got in the room was take off that damn shirt, almost ripping it in the process before throwing it as far away as he could. He then grabbed the closest thing he could find, an old hoodie he wasn’t sure who it belonged to, and he didn’t care.

Jun wrapped it around himself, closing up the zipper and pulling up the hood before sitting on his bed with his back against the headboard, pulling his knees in as close as he could. He didn’t know how long he stayed like that before he heard the door open. He looked up, half his face hidden behind his knees as he watched Seokmin approach him.

“…Is Boo okay?” He asked softly, fearing he had hurt the boy in some way.

The younger nodded, sitting down in front of him with one leg still hanging off the side of the bed. “He’s alright, he’s just worried.” He smiled warmly, and Jun already felt a rush of comfort just from seeing that smile. He didn’t know how Seokmin did that.

“I’m sorry.” Jun mumbled, hiding a bit more behind his knees.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, hyung.” Seokmin insisted, though his smile remained the same. “Something happened back there, didn’t it?” He asked, reaching out yet hesitating, as if questioning if it was alright.

Jun nodded, he wasn’t sure what for, but Seokmin rested his hand on his knee anyway, giving a bit of his warmth. “I don’t know what, though.” The older admitted, looking down.

“That’s okay.” Seokmin reassured him, rubbing the spot under his knee a bit. “Do you remember when it happened?”

Jun blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of that. When? It wasn’t when Seungkwan was getting the box, he was fine then. It wasn’t when he fell either, Jun caught him just in time.

“I don’t know.” He sighed, fingers curling up a bit where they wrapped around his legs. “It’s the coffee.” He admitted, brows frowning a bit in confusion.

“The coffee?” Seokmin asked, sounding a bit surprised.

“Yeah, just, it scared me. I don’t know why.” Jun licked his lips, working the scene over again in his head. For some reason, talking about it helped him understand, kind of. “It was really hot, and wet, and it just kept sticking to me and suffocating and it felt like…” He breathed in, not realizing he hadn’t taken a breath yet. “It felt like blood.” He finally realized, looking up at the younger.

It was the first thing he had felt, that night. It wasn’t the pain, the fear, the cold. The first thing he felt after hearing those two shots was the warmth, seeping out of him and onto his skin, sticking to his clothes and clinging to his chest.

“I got scared.” Jun whispered now, his nose twisting a bit and brows furrowing close. He was still scared.

Jun saw the other coming closer and he put his knees down, not fighting as the younger pulled him into a hug. He felt stupid, pathetic, being held like a baby just because he was scared of a little bit of coffee. Yet he couldn’t let go. He hid against Seokmin’s chest, trying to keep his breathing steady and not make this into an even more pathetic scene, if possible.

“What you’re feeling is normal, hyung.” Seokmin mumbled, rubbing his back gently. “What happened was really scary. We’re all still scared. And our bodies, they get scared too.” The younger explained. “When you feel something that reminds you of something really bad, it goes into a weird emergency mode and pulls all the stops.”

It was a weird explanation, but it somehow made sense. Seokmin always had a way of doing that. Coming up with weird analogies that they usually made fun of. But it did help, sometimes.

“Shua-hyung warned me it could happen.” Jun admitted with a sigh, pulling back and fixing his hoodie. “I just never thought it would be coffee. I mean, I was fine with everything else. Why coffee?”

“It doesn’t need to make sense, hyung. Sometimes it’s just, a combination of a lot of things that reminds us of something bad.” Seokmin smiled softly.

“Yeah, but coffee?” Junhui frowned. “How pathetic is that?”

“It’s not pathetic at all.” Seokmin looked as serious as he sounded. “Everybody has fears. After something like that, you can’t judge your own fears. And this is coming from someone who’s scared of ladybugs.” The younger pointed out with a contagious grin, allowing Jun to chuckle a bit in return. “Plus, look at Hansolie. He’s the chillest guy in the world and he still gets anxiety attacks.”

“I guess…” Jun nodded a bit. It was hard to accept it, as it was hard to understand anything right now. But he’d make an effort, for them and for himself. “But does that mean I can’t have coffee again?” The older pouted a bit. He really liked coffee, okay?

Seokmin laughed softly, shaking his head. “I’m sure that’s not the case, hyung. Our minds work in mysterious ways, we just need to figure out what really bothers you. As long as you don’t hide it from us, we can help you get better.”

“Thanks, Kyeommie.” Junhui smiled softly, honestly feeling much better now. It was as if he could finally breathe, taking in as much air as he could. “You’re gonna be a great doctor.”

“Thanks, hyung.” The younger smiled warmly, and Jun felt some sort of accomplishment after seeing the glint in his eye.

The moment was soon interrupted by a loud crashing noise though, making the two of them look at the door.

“Seungkwan?” Junhui asked, wondering what the younger could’ve tried to get now.

“I’ll go check.” Seokmin sighed, though Jun was pretty sure he was just upset he hadn’t seen it happen.

 

 

——

 

_2015_

 

“Aaaahh…”

Jisoo raised his head from his book at the inhuman sound he heard, looking to his left to see Vernon falling face first onto the couch. The older boy had to hold back a chuckle, finding the boy’s annoyance a tad bit amusing. Hansol wasn’t one to get annoyed easily, after all. He had to enjoy the little moments.

And that made him wonder if Jihoon was maybe right, Jeonghan was becoming a bad influence on him.

“Bad day?” Jisoo asked, though the only thing he got in reply was a mumbled answer muffled by the cushions, given the younger didn’t bother looking back. “I don’t speak couch, you know.” The older teased, smiling a bit as Hansol turned on his side to face him, a frown between his brows and a slight pout forming.

“Bad week.” The other repeated, shifting and making himself comfortable with a pillow beneath his head and another between his legs.

“Something up?” Joshua raised a brow, genuinely a bit concerned now.

“Nah, just people being stupid.” Hansol sighed, turning now onto his back. Maybe he wasn’t comfortable before. Given it was Hansol, Jisoo wasn’t really surprised. The boy had a bit of a problem with staying still.

“I thought you liked hanging out with Soonyoung and the rest.” Jisoo teased, grinning when he managed to get a smile from the other.

“It wasn’t them, they’re fine.” Hansol explained with a slight fondness to his tone. “That kind of stupid doesn’t bother me.”

“Which does, then?” Jisoo wondered, putting down the book onto the coffee table before sitting back once again.

“Just…” The younger sighed, wetting his lips. “Do you ever feel like, people don’t think you belong?”

Well, Joshua couldn’t have said he had seen that coming. He blinked a couple of times, wondering where that had come from. Still, he nodded a bit, humming a small note in agreement. He knew that feeling a bit too well.

“I went to the street market and half of them thought I was a tourist.” Hansol explained, pushing his hair back. “And that’s like the third time that happened this week. I swear to god, there was an old lady that kept running away from me saying she didn’t speak english. _While_ I was speaking Korean.”

Jisoo snorted, knowing that story all too well. He couldn’t say that hadn’t happened to him either a time or two. Thankfully Hansol didn’t seem hurt, given he looked quite amused himself.

“Did you ever get that?” Hansol wondered, looking back at him now.

“More than I care to admit, to be honest.” Jisoo nodded with a small smile. “Though it happened more when I was at school. Kids can be terrible, you know.” Given he grew up in the States, he didn’t exactly look like most of his classmates.

He felt a bit guilty by the way Hansol’s expression shifted into one of concern, with his wide puppy eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine.” Jisoo chuckled, shaking his head a bit. It really was fine. “It’s far behind me now, don’t worry.”

With a warm smile, he was glad to see Hansol believed him, biting his bottom lip and looking up again. The younger was so easy to read compared to most of the others, it was almost refreshing in a way.

“But I get what you’re saying.” Jisoo continued, shrugging a bit. “When I was back home, it was like I was too Korean. Then I got here and I wasn’t Korean enough.” It felt almost weird to say that, he felt like he was complaining too much. He knew he had it easy compared to other people, but it still bothered him, making him feel lost.

“Yeah, exactly!” Hansol exclaimed, grabbing the pillow under his head and sitting up to face him. “Like, what am I supposed to look like, then? I can’t _choose_ how I look.”

“Yeah, I asked myself that a few times before.” Jisoo chuckled, feeling some sort of weight he never knew was there leaving his shoulders.

“I feel like asking other people that sometimes.” Hansol put it with a grumpy huff, though it was soon followed by a smile.

“Oh, I almost did.” Jisoo admitted with a smirk. “But I didn’t wanna get an F, so I decided to shut up.” It was after a teacher’s comment, and even though he knew the guy didn’t mean much by it, it still bothered him. Yet he chose to stay quiet rather than to stir up confusion.

“Ain’t that shit.” Hansol chuckled, not managing to avoid the pillow that now flew towards his face.

“Language.” Jisoo reprimanded with a slight frown.

“I’m like nineteen, you know.” Hansol pointed out, throwing the pillow back.

“You’re still one of the youngest.” Jisoo insisted, though if he were to tell the truth, there was maybe a small chance he only censored them for the fun of it. Just a slight chance.

“I thought we were having a brotherly moment here.” Hansol claimed, though his pout convinced no one.

“If we were brothers, you’d still be younger than me.” Jisoo smirked, noticing the boy was hiding a smile of his own as well.

“Show off.” Hansol muttered, hitting the pillow in his arms a couple of times to soften it.

“You can come to me though, you know?” The older wet his lips. Not only did it feel nice to be there for the other, but it felt just as nice to share with someone who understood. “Like, when this is bothering you.”

The younger seemed to blink at that, smiling small. “Yeah, I know.” Hansol sighed, ruffling his own hair a bit. “I just wish I didn’t have to.”

“Believe me, me too.” Jisoo smiled softly. “But this kind of stuff happens. I don’t know, maybe it won’t anymore at some point, but while it does… I’m here.” He shrugged, hoping the offer wasn’t in vain.

The younger smiled a bit more brightly then, nodding lightly. “Thanks, hyung.”

Joshua nodded as well, returning his grin too before leaning over and grabbing his book from the coffee table again.

“I’m here too, you know.” Joshua was a bit surprised by that, looking up from the pages to see Hansol flashing him another soft smile before pushing himself up to make his way to the kitchen.

Jisoo felt a wave of warmth hitting him, nodding more to himself than to the other. “Thanks, Hansolie.”

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 03 / 2017_

 

It was late when Seungkwan got back home. Nothing unusual, of course. His shift ended about an hour ago, and he was only able to leave after cleaning up and changing. When he got there it was almost four in the morning, so Seungkwan tried to be quiet.

The younger boy was taking off his shoes when he noticed a light on in the kitchen. Wondering if someone had left it on, he made his way over to the room, peeking inside. It was then that he saw Seungcheol eating a plate of cookies with a cup of milk.

“Hyung?” Seungkwan called softly, hanging his messenger bag on one of the chairs after approaching the other. “Everything alright?”

“Oh, hey.” Seungcheol smiled small, looking up at the boy. He looked restless, round eyes dropping a bit. “Yeah, just getting some midnight snack.”

“Cookies?” Seungkwan raised a brow, pulling a chair and sitting down across from him.”Wait, aren’t these Hansol’s cookies?” He recognized the silvery blue packaging.

“I’ll buy him more later.” Seungcheol waved the other off before sliding the cookies closer to the middle of the table. Seungkwan doubted that was true, given the leader had a habit of taking things and forgetting to return them, but he was pretty hungry too. With a shrug, he grabbed a cookie as well, biting into it.

“You know,” He spoke after swallowing. “I’m starting to think no one sleeps in this apartment.” It wouldn’t be the first time he found at least one of them up at this hour.

Seungcheol snickered, dunking the cookie into the milk before taking another bite. “Can’t a guy get a midnight snack in peace?”

“Not at 4 in the morning.” Seungkwan reasoned, grabbing another cookie and dunking it in as well. “Kind of late for that, hyung.” He pointed out before eating the sweet, licking his lips as some of the milk threatened to run down his chin.

Seungcheol smiled a bit bitterly before sighing then, pushing back his brown hair. Seungkwan saw it again, the tiredness, but he waited for him to speak. “Can’t sleep.”

“I figured out that much.” The younger smiled softly, finishing the moist cookie.

He knew he just had to be patient. It was odd, in some ways. Seungkwan was one of the youngest, yet not long after he joined, Seungcheol often chose him to rely his feelings to. Not that it bothered Seungkwan, in no way whatsoever. If anything, he liked it. Seungkwan would be lying if he said he didn’t like helping people, especially his friends. Especially someone like Seungcheol, who already did so much for them.

“I keep having nightmares.” The leader pursed his lips, stopping his meal for a moment. “You know, about…”

“Jun?” Seungkwan asked, feeling a bit guilty himself. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had his share of nightmares, either. Seungcheol nodded, looking to his left. “What are they like?”

“Sometimes it changes, but it’s usually the same thing, you know?” Seungkwan listened closely as he explained. “I’m running and running, for what feels like hours, and when I get there, there’s just… Blood, everywhere.” The older gulped, seemingly taking a moment to pull himself together. “And there he is, along with Minghao, just like we found them. And no matter how fast I run, it’s all the same.”

Seungkwan bit his lip, nodding lightly. “I have them too.” Seungkwan admitted, his voice softer than he’d thought. “Not the exact same, you know, just… Him hurt, in the car. And Mingyu driving while I try to take care of him, but he keeps driving and driving and never gets there.”

The younger pursed his lips. He can see Seungcheol is looking at him, but his own eyes are aimed down at his now empty hands, fingers picking at his own cuticles. “But there’s a part you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” He asked, looking back at the other again.

Seungcheol blinked at that, his own fingers twitching a bit on top of the table. Seungkwan knew that wasn’t all. That would bother Seungcheol, yes, but not to this point. There was something more.

“There’s not, I mean…” Seungcheol sighed, chewing at his bottom lip as he looked away from him once again. “It’s my fault.” He mumbled softly, almost to the point Seungkwan couldn’t hear. But he did.

“Hyung…” Seungkwan brows furrow together, the pain in his chest only increasing.

“That’s what they always say in the dream. Sometimes it’s Minghao, sometimes Wonwoo, Jihoon, even you.” The eldest smiled sadly, eyes glistening yet still not shedding a tear. Seungkwan doubted he would. “It’s your fault, hyung. How could you do this?” He repeated as if he had memorized it by now, letting down a dry chuckle and looking down.

“But it’s not your fault.” Seungkwan gulped, reaching out to squeeze one of his hands.

“I’m the leader, Seungkwan.” Seungcheol frowned, though he didn’t pull his hand back, so Seungkwan took that as a good sign. “I’m responsible for you.”

“You’re not responsible for our mistakes.” Seungkwan argued, though he kept his voice soft.

“It was my mistake, too. I let him go in there. If I had gone–“ Seungcheol tried, but the younger chuckled in return.

“Then what? It’d be you on that stretcher instead of him? It’d be you I’d have to stitch up?” Seungkwan pointed out, not noticing the frown between his own brows until he took a deep breath, trying to relax. “It wouldn’t be any easier on me, hyung. Or on us.”

Seungcheol nodded, licking his lips. Seungkwan felt him relaxing as well, and hoped he was finally getting into his head.

“He was the best choice, the right choice to go in there right then.” Seungkwan reasoned, pressing his lips together. “We underestimated our enemy, and that was our mistake. But this wasn’t our fault. It wasn’t your fault. And I can assure you no one thinks it is, either.”

The leader smiled small, though it seemed a bit more cheerful now. “Thanks, Boo.” He nodded a bit once again, squeezing his hand back. “You think you can tell that to my subconscious?”

Seungkwan hummed, pushing himself up to lean over across the table and speak a bit loudly into the leader’s ear. “It’s not your fault, idiot.” He held back a laugh as the leader hit him, pulling back quickly though not sitting down.

“Yah, I’m still your hyung, you know.” The eldest frowned, though Seungkwan only shrugged, drinking the rest of the milk before putting the empty cup in the sink.

“I was only trying to help.” Seungkwan hummed, smiling a bit as the other put away the rest of the cookies in the pantry.

“Yeah, sure.” The leader frowned, though he seemed a bit more rested, or less conflicted. Or maybe Seungkwan was just too tired and seeing things. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Now I really need to get some sleep. I’m running on 20 sleepless hours here hyung and it’s not fun.” Seungkwan whined a bit, making the other chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah, I should try too.” Seungcheol showed a soft grin, following the other out of the kitchen and turning off the lights on their way out.

“You’ll be alright?” Seungkwan questioned, stopping in front of his shared bedroom.

Seungcheol paused for a moment, then giving him a small nod. “Yeah.” His smile grew warmer. “I’ll be alright.”

 

 

——

 

_04 / 10 / 2016_

 

Everything was going according to plan. They had gotten a cake that was bigger than necessary, all the snacks everyone liked, including that weird soda Hansol seemed to be fond of. Even Wonwoo couldn’t complain about the food.

Soonyoung and Chan had installed the Playstation 4 with whatever dance game they got playing in the background. Jun and Minghao had helped decorate the place, with half of it looking quite stylish and even a bit too much like a tumblr aesthetic post, while the other half… Well, Seungcheol liked to think Jun had tried.

Still, it looked good. Homemade, a bit messy, but happy. And now they all just waited in the dark, having gotten a text from Jihoon not five minutes ago saying they were close. Seungcheol next to Jisoo with an envelope in his hand. They looked at each other in the darkness, smile still visible on his lips, yet disappearing when the door knob began jiggling. A sign that someone was trying to open it, given they always had to jiggle it a bit to get it to work.

“Quiet, quiet.” Seungcheol whispered to the others, Seokmin lighting the candles on the cake Minghao held. Mingyu wanted to hold it, but they didn’t want to risk any accidents. “Everybody, prepare.”

They all nodded, watching as light seeped in from the hallway and they could hear the distinct whining of Seungkwan’s. “That claw machine was clearly biased against me!” The younger complained, making the older two chuckle.

“No one could ever be biased against you, Kwannie. You’re too cute.” Jeonghan’s voice was as clear as day as he turned on the light. “Plus–“

“Surprise!” Everyone let out together, or almost, they still needed to work on their sync. Still, it was good enough once they spotted Jeonghan’s wide almond eyes and his lips slightly parted.

“What?” The dark haired looked around, trying to understand what was going on.

“Happy birthday!” Seungcheol announced with a wide smile, Minghao holding the cake a bit more towards the other.

Jeonghan laughed lightly, the way he always did when he felt a bit lost. Or when he lied. Sometimes it was hard to tell which was which. “What is this?” The second oldest smiled, pushing his hair back as he looked at the others. His eyes then fixed at the cake, seeming to finally put two and two together.

Before he could ask anything else though, the rest of them were already beginning to sing a jumbled mess of ‘Happy Birthday’, with Jeonghan chuckling in the middle of the crooked circle. Once the song was over, he held his long fringe back to blow out the candles.

“Ah, you guys, seriously…” The birthday boy chuckled, receiving hugs all around.

Seungcheol waited, watching. It filled his heart, seeing the other happy like this. His smile almost too bright to be true, eyes glinting with happiness and a bit of… Something else. Something familiar. Even the curve of his smile. It almost looked as if he was a bit… Smug. Seungcheol was only seeing things, surely. Why would he even be smug? It was just a surprise party…

It was then that Seungcheol gasped loudly, pointing at Jeonghan who was now hugging Seungkwan tightly. “You knew!” He accused loudly, making everyone else look back at him in disbelief.

“What?” Jeonghan blinked, innocence taking over his features. “Cheol, what are you talking about?” He let out a light chuckle, and it was now Joshua who gasped.

“You did!” The youngest of the three accused, and Seungcheol figured he also recognized the small telltales of Jeonghan. One of them being that little damn chuckle.

“Guys, what are you saying?” Seungkwan frowned a bit, looking at the two. “We were with hyung all day, there was no way he knew.”

“Hyung, is this true?” It was Seokmin who asked now, looking between the three oldest.

Jeonghan blinked again, and Seungcheol had no doubt he could convince a damn polygraph. “Well, I…” He licked his lips, and soon a smirk played on them, his eyes now becoming sharp and playful. Seungcheol was right. “Sorry.” He giggled, shrugging.

Everyone else moaned in complaint, Minghao almost dropping the cake. “Who the hell told him?!” He questioned, though his eyes were already aimed at Seokmin.

“It wasn’t me!” The other defended, raising his hands in front of himself “I was careful!”

“He’s telling the truth, I was with him whenever hyung was around.” Mingyu nodded, protecting his friend.

“Jihoon?” Seungcheol frowned. He was the most annoyed with all of this after all, and though he doubted Jihoon would spill, he also knew he loved messing with them almost as much as Jeonghan. Plus, he sold out easily.

“Don’t look at me.” The younger scowled. “You really think I’d spend a day with those two willingly?”

“Hey!” Seungkwan complained at that, clearly offended.

“It wasn’t anyone.” Jeonghan announced with far too much mirth in his voice. “Chill, I found out on my own.”

“But we were so careful.” Jisoo complained, slightly whined.

“Sorry.” Jeonghan at least sounded a bit apologetic once he noticed Jisoo’s disappointment. His grin hadn’t left him, though.

“When did you even find out?” Chan wondered, his upper lip doing that thing when he was confused where it was slightly crooked upwards, as if a thread was pulling it up.

“Not long!” Jeonghan admitted, as if that would help make them feel a bit better. “Like uh, a week ago, I think?”

“That’s when we started planning it!” Seungcheol whined, shoulders slumping in defeat. “What the hell, that’s not fair!” He huffed, Jeonghan looking happy once again as he approached him.

“Just face it Cheollie, you can’t swindle a swindler.” Jeonghan smirked, patting his cheek lightly.

“So this was all in vain?” Soonyoung pouted, Seokmin and Seungkwan matching his sad posture.

“No, no!” Jeonghan shook his head quickly, pity written on his face as he turned to the three. “Everything looks so good, and you made a party for me! How could it be a waste?” He smiled warmly, clapping twice. “Come on, let’s get this party started already.”

The three seemed to cheer up once again at that, quickly hurrying to the kitchen to grab the snacks and drinks. Minghao followed then a bit grumpily so they could start cutting the cake.

“You could’ve told us you knew it.” Seungcheol mumbled as Jeonghan turned to him and Jisoo again, the smile on his face now warm though a bit teasing as always.

“And miss that face of yours? Never.” Jeonghan snickered as Seungcheol tried hitting him with the envelope. “Plus, you guys seemed to be going through so much work, I don’t know.” The second oldest shrugged. “I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

Seungcheol softened at that, knowing that despite the playfulness, Jeonghan was speaking the truth. Even when they were doing something for him, he was looking after them. Idiot.

“You do realize we went through double trouble trying to hide it from you?” Joshua pointed out, though the smile on his face was enough proof that he wasn’t angry.

“But it was so much fun watching you all squirm around.” Jeonghan giggled, shielding himself now from hits that came from both sides. “Fine! Fine, I’m sorry. Anyway, what’s that?” He asked as he spotted the light blue envelope, trying to change the subject.

“Not that you deserve it, but it’s a gift.” Jisoo snickered while Seungcheol handed him the folded paper. “This is from the two of us.”

“I know everybody says this, but I mean it. You didn’t have to.” Seungcheol knew he meant it, but it also didn’t stop them from getting him a gift. “Amusement park tickets?” The birthday boy wondered as he held the tickets, looking up at them again with a bright smile. “That’s awesome, when are we going?”

Seungcheol looked back at Jisoo to give him a small nod. “We hope you’re free next Friday.” The youngest of the three answered, looking back at an even more confused Jeonghan.

“Guys, this is great, but…” Jeonghan looked into the envelope again, to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. “There’s only two tickets here.” He chuckled lightly.

“Like he said, we’re hope you’re free next Friday.” Seungcheol repeated, not being able to bite back his smile. “‘Cause that’s when Sungyeon can go.”

Jeonghan’s eyes widened at that, his fingers almost dropping the tickets. He looked between the two, confusion and hope taking over every line in his face, making Seungcheol’s chest squeeze.

“Does this mean… But I thought–“ The younger couldn’t find his words, looking like a deer caught in headlights. It was one of the few times Seungcheol had actually managed to catch Jeonghan by surprise, and while usually he felt either smug or accomplished, now he just felt happy.

“We pulled some strings.” The leader explained. He knew they should be avoiding contact with family, but at the same time he felt like he needed to do this for him. He hadn’t seen his sister in months, it wouldn’t hurt them to make a small exception. “It’s been three months, anyway. Things are settling down.”

“But, I–“ Jeonghan gulped, looking down at the tickets before looking up at them again, his nose and ears becoming a bit red while his eyes glistened. “Do you mean it?”

“Happy birthday, Hannie.” Jisoo smiled warmly, both of them chuckling as Jeonghan now hugged them tighter than he usually did.

“Thank you guys, seriously, thank you. Thank you so much.” The second eldest sniffled, Seungcheol wrapping an arm around his and Jisoo’s back and squeezing them lightly.

“You deserve it.” He mumbled softly, rubbing his back.

“Are the three saps gonna want cake or not?” Minghao yelled from the kitchen, ruining the moment yet making them laugh at least.

Jeonghan was the first to pull back, rubbing at his eyes a bit before bearing a bright smile, looking back at Minghao who poked his head out from the kitchen. “Of course I want it, it’s my birthday!”

“Well then get here already or Jihoon hyung is gonna eat it all.” Minghao muttered, Chan quickly rushing to the kitchen as well.

“I want some too!” Seungcheol’s younger brother called as he made his way to the kitchen, though he was soon pulled back by Jeonghan, who had a far too playful grin on his face.

“Dino…” He sang, Chan’s eyes turning into saucers.

“No, no, no!” The boy shook his head quickly, reaching out for Seungcheol. “Hyung, save me!”

Seungcheol snickered, crossing his arms. “It’s his birthday, you’re on your own.”

“Dino,” Jeonghan repeated, holding the boy closer to him with an arm draped over his shoulders. “Whose baby are you?”

 

 

——

 

 

To no one’s surprise, when Mingyu had said the only one interested in the dancing game was Soonyoung, he had been right. Not that others hadn’t joined in. Jun had played quite a few times, and Minghao clearly got a bit too competitive with Dino. Even Hansol and Seungcheol had gotten decent scores. The rest of them had given it a try, but it was mostly just for the fun of it, given their scores weren’t exactly something to be proud of.

Soonyoung, however, had barely gone a round without playing. The boy was sweating buckets by now, panting like a tired dog, yet he was still playing with Chan. Jihoon had given up long ago, spread out and taking over half of the couch, watching the two. The party was less a party and more a ‘hang out with more food than usual’ at that point, with everyone else either sprawled somewhere or going for what was possibly their 5th round of cake.

It was when he felt himself bouncing a bit on the couch that he noticed Seokmin flopping down next to him, raiding a bag of chips. Jihoon didn’t pay much attention to it, looking back at his friends dancing in front of the TV. It had been years since he’d last seen him dance, a small smile unknowingly forming on his lips.

“Hyung’s really good, huh?” Seokmin mused out with a gentle grin, still watching the two while Jihoon glanced at him.

“Yeah.” Jihoon hummed, turning his head back at the two. “I thought he’d be rusty, but he’s as good as always.” The older admitted, only because he knew Soonyoung wasn’t listening.

“He was this good back then too?” Seokmin wondered, a bit surprised sounding now. Jihoon remembered then that Seokmin, like most of them, had never seen Soonyoung dance. Not properly, at least.

Jihoon chuckled, nodding a bit. “Yeah.” He looked back at him. “I know I say the dance videos are embarrassing, but that’s mostly ‘cause his outfits were ridiculous. He was actually pretty good.”

“Really?” Seokmin looked back at him, a smile and a glint in his eyes that revealed the curiosity behind them.

“His stage name was Hurricane Hoshi.” Jihoon grinned as the other chuckled. “Yeah, I know, ridiculous. But we were kids, so.” Though he was pretty sure if asked now, Soonyoung would probably choose that name again.

“We?” Seokmin blinked, sitting up a bit better and offering him the bag of chips. Jihoon gladly took a few, shoving them into his mouth. “You danced too?”

“No, no.” He spoke with his mouth full, taking his time to swallow it all down before speaking again. “I played.”

“Played what?” Seokmin asked, the curiosity growing in is voice. Jihoon would perhaps admit then that he understood what Jeonghan meant when he said Seokmin was a kid. Maybe.

“The piano.” Jihoon licked the salt from his lips. “Though I was learning to compose too. That way we could be like a team, you know?” The older explained with a small smirk. “I’d make the music, and he’d dance.”

It had been ages since he had last thought of that, and he wondered if the same could be said for his friend. He wasn’t sad, though it was a little bittersweet. Those were good days, though laced with bad days as well. Moments he didn’t wish to bring back. They were pretty dreams, but only dreams.

“Did you have a name?” Seokmin blinked again. “Like a stage name? Hurricane Hoshi, so Jihoon… Joyous Jihoon?” The younger wondered, getting a incredulous look in return.

“Joyous?” Jihoon repeated, wondering how Seokmin would even come to that.

“…Yeah, now I see it would be confusing.” The tall boy chuckled, shaking his head. “But really, did you?”

“Yeah, but it was just Woozi.” The hacker shrugged, grabbing another chip. “Soonyoung came up with it.”

“Wait, he made up ‘Woozi’?” Seokmin asked, sounding even more surprised.

“I’m surprised he didn’t tell you.” Jihon raised a brow, soon shrugging once again. “It’s some weird acronym he made up, but it sounded nice, so I figured I’d use it as an alias or something for the hacking.” Most of them had nicknames for the intercom anyways, in case someone found a way in.

“Huh.” Seokmin nodded a bit, Jihoon almost chuckling at his expression. It was as if he was in his first day of school, learning about everything around him. He found amusement in such small things. “Did something happen?”

“What do you mean?” It was Jihoon who blinked now, confused by the boy’s question.

“I don’t know, it seemed like you guys had so much figured out.” No, they hadn’t. Not one bit. “How come it never turned into anything?”

“I don’t know, Kyeom.” Jihoon sighed, looking back at the boy dancing in front of them. “I guess it just didn’t turn into anything. They were just young dreams, you know? At some point you wake up.” He knew it sounded cold, but it was just the way it happened with them. Sometimes things worked out, sometimes they didn’t. “He stopped dancing, we started looking into other things, things just… Changed.”

Jihoon felt king of bad when he spotted the bit of sadness in the other’s eyes. He himself wasn’t sad, not really. Disappointed? Maybe a little bit, but you could never predict where things might go, which roads you could take. You could only keep moving. And that's what they did, they kept moving.

“When did he stop?” Seokmin asked, making him look back at the younger again.

“Uh?” Jihoon blinked.

“When did he stop dancing?” Seokmin wondered, raising his brows.

“Oh.” Jihoon licked his lips, glancing at the TV once again. “When they sold my piano.”

That, he didn’t like thinking about. Because that always got him in a spiral of guilt and self doubt. Soonyoung never had to stop dancing because they sold his piano. He didn’t have to stop just because Jihoon had to. Yet he did. Soonyoung said it wasn’t his fault, he just wasn’t into it anymore, didn’t see the point. It still didn’t help to silence the little voice in Jihoon’s head saying Soonyoung gave up something he loved just because Jihoon had to.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Seokmin pushed his brows together in that way that made his entire face seem too soft for a guy his age. How could anyone be upset at him?

“It’s okay, Kyeommie.” Jihoon smiled softly, reaching out to pat his head lightly. “It’s in the past now. We’re fine.” Jihoon concluded, looking back at the other two who seemed to never get tired.

They were still together, they had people who cared about them, even if Jihoon sometimes neglected that, and Soonyoung was dancing again. They were fine.

The present was much better, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I already said this last time, but I'm sorry for taking longer than usual to update.  
> However this time I really have no excuses. I just had a hard time writing the scenes I wanted, and everything felt like it was turning into crap. Therefore I chose to just take as long as necessary to post something that I felt confident on.
> 
> Once again, thank you so much for all the nice comments and kudos!!  
> I can't believe this thing is still getting kudos, so thank you- lol  
> And it always makes me really happy to know what you guys think of it, so comments are always welcome. 
> 
> And please, if you spot any typos or anything that's too confusing, don't be afraid to let me know!  
> I always say this but I'll say it again, I read these things a lot before posting but I still overlook some typos by accident. So pointing them out would really help me a lot!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Also I hadn't even recovered from Trauma and they hit us with Lilili Yabbay this isn'T FAIR HOW CAN I HANDLE THIS~~


	14. We are always tied together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What the–“ Jisoo was about to ask as he was manhandled against the now closed door, but he shut himself up once he saw the sharp blade of a knife up against his jaw.
> 
> “Shout and I’ll kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much..... domesticity....
> 
> Istg this is still a gang/agent/whateverthisis au ok I'm just weak for this shit  
> I do intend to have more mission stuff again soon tho so meanwhile forgive me-

 

_2015_

 

“I don’t get it.” Minghao admitted, watching Jeonghan practically hanging off of Jisoo as they sat on the couch, the younger with a book on his lap. Minghao himself was standing by the kitchen doorframe, out of their hearing range hopefully, but within Jihoon and Chan’s.

“What don’t you get?” The youngest prompted, looking up from his noodles.

Minghao shrugged, taking another look at the ones on the couch before looking back at his younger friend. “I thought Jeonghan-hyung and Seungcheol-hyung were dating.”

It was just an assumption, though. No one had told him, and he hadn’t asked either. But with the way the two were always so close to each other, he figured they were somewhat together. Not to mention all the flirting. God, he cringed just thinking about it.

“They are.” Chan blinked, licking his lips. “Well, I don’t know if dating is the word, but they’re like, together.” He explained poorly, though Minghao got the point.

“Huh.” Minghao nodded, looking at the couch once again. They looked too close together though. Jeonghan and Jisoo. He knew it wasn’t uncommon. Even if he wasn’t that used to closeness, some people didn’t mind it. Seungkwan and Junhui were a few examples. Jeonghan was even touchy himself, so it shouldn’t be a surprise.

Yet it looked different than the way he hugged Seungkwan, or praised Seokmin. It looked more like the way he welcomed Seungcheol home, or how he rested against him when they were watching movies. It looked… Intimate.

“Doesn’t it bother him that they’re so close?” Minghao wondered then, still watching the two.

“They?” Chan raised a brow, and only then did Minghao realize he couldn’t see what he was seeing.

“Jeonghan-hyung and Joshua-hyung.” The Chinese boy clarified, nudging his chin towards the living room where the two sat.

“Why would it?” The youngest questioned, doubt in the way his brows furrowed together. “It should bother him if they weren’t.” He added, nor helping one bit with Minghao’s confusion.

“That doesn’t make any sense.” Sure, jealousy was bad and it’d be great if Seungcheol was understanding. But to be happy Jeonghan was getting close to someone else? That was a bit too understanding, wasn’t it?

“Seungcheol is seeing Jisoo too.” Jihoon finally explained, though he didn’t bother looking up from his laptop. In fact, Minghao was pretty sure he only said that so they’d stop talking already.

“You mean, Jisoo’s seeing both of them?” Minghao questioned, frowning a bit as he tried connecting the dots. Jisoo didn’t seem like that kind of guy.

“They’re all seeing each other.” Chan explained with his mouthful, almost getting broth on the table and possibly on Jihoon’s laptop, given the older’s cold glare. “I thought you knew that? They’re pretty obvious.”

“I just thought they were close.” Minghao mumbled, glaring at Chan as well when he caught him snickering.

“Hyung, no one’s _that_ close to their friend.” Chan smirked, though Minghao didn’t bother.

“But how does that even work? Three people.” Minghao wondered out loud. He didn’t judge, but he found relationships complicated enough with only two people involved. How could they handle more?

“I don’t know, but I try not to really think about my brother’s love life.” Chan’s nose scrunched up in a funny way, clearly disturbed by whatever image he summoned.

“I mean, they can do whatever they want, I don’t care.” Minghao shrugged. “But don’t they get scared? Seems pretty easy for someone to feel left out, I don’t know.”

“That’s relative.” Jihoon spoke up again, and yet again, he didn’t look up from his screen. “Even in arelationship between two people, someone can feel left out.” The way he spoke almost made him seem like he was some relationship expert.

“So how do they do it?” Minghao blinked. No, he wasn’t that interested in love or relationships or all that sappy shit, but he was curious.

“They talk.” Chan answered, licking his lips. “They talk quite a lot, actually. It’s almost scary.”

“It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, either.” Jihoon added, making Minghao wonder what he meant by that. They seemed more than fine, now. Sure, Jeonghan tortured Seungcheol beyond compare, but that seemed like a normal recurrent thing.

“Cheol-hyung says talking is important in every relationship. Even friendship.” Chan nodded, clearly taking his older brother’s words seriously.

Huh. Minghao nodded, pursing his lips. “Well, as long as they’re happy, I guess.” He shrugged, making his way to sit down next to the youngest.

“I thought you said you didn’t care.” Jihoon smirked, finally turning from his screen only to give Minghao a smug look.

“Shut up.” He grunted, throwing back a glare of his own, though it only seemed to amuse him even more.

“Hyung says he’s the happiest he’s ever been.” Chan admitted, taking another mouthful of his noodles.

“Well, that’s good then.” Minghao hummed, grabbing a pair of chopsticks lying around on the table to steal a piece of ginger from Chan’s food. “Though, don’t you wonder how they do it?”

“Do what–“ The youngest blinked, eyes widening once he spotted Minghao’s sneaky smirk. “ _Hyung!_ ”

“I’m just saying, three people can’t be easy to coordinate. Don’t you wonder who usually takes–“ Minghao was cut off by a loud groan from the youngest.

“I’m eating! Don’t ask about my brother’s sex life!” Minghao couldn’t hold back the laughter that left him after seeing Chan’s annoyed yet hilarious frown. The youngest even went so far as move a to a seat further away from Minghao, taking his food with him.

“Everything okay over there?” They heard Jeonghan call out, Minghao now pressing his lips together to try to tone down the laughter.

“Yeah, Chan was just wondering who likes taking–“ Minghao couldn’t finish yet again, this time Chan covering his mouth with his palm.

“Everything’s fine! Don’t worry!” He yelled out before glaring at his older friend. “I hate you.” He mouthed, but Minghao couldn’t find it in himself to worry. It was just too funny.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 10 / 2012_

 

It had been a long day for Joshua. Between studying, having tests and going to class, he’d barely had time to catch a break. It was only at 10 in the evening that he was able to take a breather after watching another heart surgery. Sure, he’d soon have to go home and write a report on said surgery, but he allowed himself to at least make some time to grab a sandwich at the cafeteria.

Perhaps one would argue hospital food wasn’t exactly the best way to treat yourself, but he was hungry and tired and he honestly didn’t really care. The student was already out of his white coat when he headed down the Clinic’s wing to make his way to the cafeteria, wondering if he should get the ham or the chicken today. Unfortunately, Joshua wasn’t able to make a decision, as he was suddenly pulled into one of the clinic rooms by the back of his shirt.

“What the–“ Jisoo was about to ask as he was manhandled against the now closed door, but he shut himself up once he saw the sharp blade of a knife up against his jaw.

“Shout and I’ll kill you.” Jisoo blinked at the boy in front of him.

A boy. Well, maybe not so much a boy, but he looked around his age, so clearly not old. He had long hair, slim features, and eyes that seemed a bit too wide at the moment. They were fleeting, aimed at Jisoo but shaking with uncertainty.

The student quickly felt the adrenaline pumping through him. Was he trying to get drugs? He didn’t look high. Maybe he was trying to rob the place, which seemed even more ridiculous. Jisoo didn’t have that much money on him, and he certainly couldn’t prescribe him anything. Either way, he was screwed. He tried to keep it together, even if his fingers twitched and his palms began to sweat.

“You’re a doctor, right?” The other asked then, pressing Jisoo against the door behind him. “I saw you with the coat before. You’re a doctor, help him.” He urged, and only then did Joshua see the scene going on behind him.

On the table was another guy, probably around their age as well, face twisted in pain and cold sweating. His shirt was wet and red, and he weakly held something against his stomach. Next to him was one more boy, eyes thin and slightly angled, trying yet failing to hide the panic in his face. Okay, so at least he wasn’t trying to rob him.

“N-No, I’m not,“ Jisoo gulped, looking back at the man who still had a knife to his neck. “I’m not a doctor.”

“Don’t lie to me!” He hissed, pressing the knife further down, though for some reason Jisoo could see in his eyes that he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t hurt him. What he saw wasn’t anger, it was something else. “Can you help him or not?”

“I’m not, I’m just a student. I’m not even allowed to help.” He tried to explain as fast as he could. “But I can call someone, I can get someone in here.”

“ _No_.” The other insisted, eyes fleeting from the scene behind them and back to him when the boy in the table groaned in pain. “There’s no time, we don’t have insurance, we can’t-“ He grit his teeth. “You have to help him.”

Once the boy’s eyes met his again, Joshua was able to recognize that look. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t crazy. He was scared. 

“ _Please_.” His plea was whispered and almost painful, brows pushing just a bit more together, making Jisoo gulp from the intensity.

The student pressed his lips, looking behind the other again. Fuck, he couldn’t do this. He could get expelled, he could be arrested even. Deported, who knew? Not to mention he didn’t even know these people. What if they were criminals? Fuck.

“Fine.” He replied weakly, feeling the knife back away. “Fine, fine, but I can’t promise anything. I don’t know what I’m doing.” Jisoo explained, but the other didn’t seem to care, nodding quickly before rushing to the side of the bed.

Joshua followed him to take a better look at the injured one. He pulled away the coat they used to press against his stomach and raised the soiled shirt. It looked like a cut, pretty deep, no doubt painful, but not too deep thankfully.

“What happened?” He asked, quickly moving around to grab some sterile solution from the upper cabinet on the left.

“He was stabbed.” The boy with small eyes answered, his voice a bit shaky. “T-There was a fight, and they had a knife… We brought him here as fast as we could.”

“That’s good, you did good.” Jisoo nodded, hoping to calm the other down a bit. Little did they know he wasn’t one bit calm either.

He then began rinsing the wound with the solution. That was the first thing, from what he remembered. Clean the cut and try to reduce the blood loss. The next step would be suture. No problem, right? It’s not like he had just trained that on orange peels. Shit.

“Okay, there doesn’t seem to be anything in there, so that’s good.” Jisoo reasoned, more to himself than to anyone else, really. “What’s his name?”

“Seungcheol.” The one with the long hair answered.

“And yours?” Jisoo asked, looking at the other two.

“I’m Jeonghan and he’s Soonyoung.” He replied once again, quick and effective. Probably the adrenaline running in his blood.

“Alright, I’m gonna need your help, okay?” Jisoo asked, and the two nodded quickly. “Soonyoung, can you grab a small plastic box under that sink? The one that says ‘Sutures’ on it. And I need a pair of gloves, they should be by the table on the corner.”

The two were quick, Soonyoung grabbing the box labeled ’Sutures’ while Jeonghan grabbed the plastic bag with the gloves. Joshua took a pair, slipping them on swiftly before opening the box. He then prepared the needle, trying to will his fingers not to tremble so damn much.

“Seungcheol, right?” He looked at the boy properly now, seeing how despite his eyes pinched together in pain, they tried to focus on him. They were round, warm, a bit wet, but not very fearful. Jisoo would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed.

“I’m Jisoo.” He smiled softly, trying to give the other some sort of comfort. “This is gonna hurt, alright? But I need you to stay still. Can you do that for me?”

Seungcheol nodded, and Jeonghan was quick to move to his side, grabbing the boy’s hand between both of his. “You can squeeze my hand, okay?” He tried to smile as well, but it was twitchy and scared. Still, the sight squeezed the air out of Jisoo’s lungs for a moment, letting him know he couldn’t screw this up.

Taking a deep breath, he focused back at the task at hand. “Soonyoung, I need you to keep rinsing this, alright?” He looked up at the other. It took him a moment to understand, but he was soon taking the solution bottle once again, squeezing some of the liquid onto the wound.

“Yeah, just like that.” Joshua nodded. There was no more stalling it now, he had to do it.

 _Just think of it as an orange peel_ , Jisoo thought to himself. A big, flesh toned orange peel that bled and whimpered. Sure.

He could feel Seungcheol twitching under him once he began the suture, the boy holding back small cries whenever the needle pierced his skin. Had he more time he’d give him the anesthesia, but Jisoo was far too inexperienced at that and he was terrified of giving the guy the wrong dose and making things worse. So unfortunately, Seungcheol would have to fight this one through.

Surprisingly, Jeonghan seemed to have taken a hold of himself. He was leaning closer to the other now, using one hand to hold Seungcheol’s while the other ran through the boy’s sweaty hair. Joshua didn’t focus on them much, given he had bigger things to worry about, but he could hear the encouraging words the long haired whispered, the gentle tone of his voice even helping him focus.

Perhaps it was the words, or his own adrenaline, but Jisoo finished the suture faster than he had ever done before. Taking a few deeper breaths, he nodded to himself, looking up at Soonyoung who stood on the other side of the bed in front of him.

“You did good.” The other boy smiled small at the compliment, soon biting down his lip.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Soonyoung asked, and Jisoo was met with the three pairs of eyes that waited for the answer.

“I think so, yeah. We just need to wrap him up.” Jisoo nodded, taking the solution again to clean around the now closed wound. Once that was done, Joshua went through the cabinets once again, grabbing a closed packet of gauze.

“I’m gonna need you to sit up for a bit, okay?” Seungcheol nodded lightly, grunting as he sat up with the help of his friends. Now that Jisoo looked at him properly once again, he could see the wetness under his eyes and the redness of his cheeks. He felt it would’ve been better not to know, though.

“Chan…?” Seungcheol asked, looking at the other two.

“The kids didn’t see anything, they’re waiting outside.” Soonyoung nodded, and Jisoo refrained from asking. They seemed like kids already, who could they even be referring to?

“You guys will need to check his wounds everyday and make sure they’re clean, alright?” Jisoo informed, now wrapping the gauze over the cut and around his stomach. “Keep changing the bandages. If there’s any sign of redness, swelling, pus, or fever, you guys gotta come back here, right? Infections are dangerous.”

The two of them nodded, the seriousness in their eyes comforting Jisoo a bit. He had a feeling they wouldn’t come back unless they absolutely had to.

“What about the pain?” Jeonghan asked softly.

“I can’t prescribe him anything, I’m not a doctor.” Jisoo reminded them, licking his lips. “But he can take painkillers as long as there’s no blood thinner in them. I’ll write some down so you’ll know. Just make sure he doesn’t take more than the recommended amount.”

The other two nodded once again, and Joshua moved over to the sink to discard his gloves and wash his hands thoroughly. Meanwhile they helped the boy up, Soonyoung lending him a jacket. When Joshua was taking a paper pad and a pen to write down the names of the painkillers, he saw Jeonghan approaching him though the side of his eye.

“Thank you.” His voice was again soft, but dripping with honesty. Painfully so, even. “For saving him.”

Joshua ripped off the piece of paper, turning to hand it to him. “Don’t mention it. I’m sure anybody would’ve done the same.” He smiled warmly, though he was met only with a sad gaze.

“No, not anybody would have.” Jeonghan’s tone was so honest it almost scared him, his face softening at the words. He wondered what happened to the boy for him to say that.

“Alright, but still, don’t mention it.” He insisted. “I mean, I’m happy to help, but I could get arrested. So don’t tell anyone.” He explained with an awkward chuckle.

“Your secret’s safe with us.” Jisoo wasn’t sure he could be relieved or not by the other’s grin, reminding him so much of a fox. He chose to be, given he didn’t have much of a choice at the moment.

“Remember what I told you, alright?” He asked then, heading towards the door. He wasn’t sure how they planned to get out unnoticed, but given thy had managed to sneak in a guy with a gash in he stomach, he figured they wouldn’t have much of a problem. “Keep the wound clean and come here if it gets worse. Seriously.”

“Yes! No problem!” Soonyoung nodded quickly, his determination almost cute.

Jisoo nodded once again, waving at the three before leaving the room. He wasn’t sure he’d see them again. Probably shouldn’t, given how much he risked just at their first meeting. Yes, it would be better if they didn’t meet again. Even if his stomach made a weird turn at the thought of it.

 

 

——

 

 

Seungcheol didn’t know why he was so nervous. Sure, he wasn’t the most social guy amongst them, but he wasn’t exactly an anxious introvert either. In a scale of Jihoon to Soonyoung, he liked to think he stood in the middle, though closer to Soonyoung. However, anyone could notice the boy was picking at the corners of the small box of donuts in his hands. He swung back and forth on his heels, looking around as he stood close to the Hospital’s entrance, yet not too close.

It was his idea, thanking the guy. After all, he saved his life. The right thing would be to pay him, but they didn’t have that much money to begin with, so they settled for a box of donuts. Still, Seungcheol was a bit hesitant. He didn’t remember much about Jisoo, as Jeonghan had called him. His mind was a bit of a mess when they met, therefore he just remembered enough to pick him out of a crowd. And he was thankful, he really was. Seungcheol couldn’t put it into words.

Yet, something felt off about him. For some reason unknown to Seungcheol, the thought of him annoyed the leader a bit. It was probably just because ever since they met, Jeonghan wouldn’t shut up about the guy. How his face was so funny when he pulled him into the room, how he did such a good job with the stitches, how he was so nice to help them. Honestly, it was becoming kind of annoying. Only the talking, of course. Not that Seungcheol would be annoyed about anything else. It’s just that Jeonghan rarely talked so much about a stranger. And that’s what the guy was, a complete stranger. So why was he so fond of him? It didn’t make any sense. That’s the only reason it bothered Seungcheol, the fact it made no sense. Nothing else.

During his deviation, Seungcheol almost missed the brown haired boy walking out of the automatic glass doors, waving at someone else before walking in his direction. The round eyed male nodded to himself a bit, holding the box tighter as he watched Jisoo pass by him without noticing him.

“Uh, Jisoo-ssi?” Seungcheol called, and thankfully it really was him as the other stopped and turned towards him.

“Yes?” The student blinked a couple of times, approaching him. “Wait, aren’t you–?”

“Seungcheol, yes.” He chuckled lightly, watching the surprise on the other’s face. Okay, so maybe he did look a bit funny, he’d grant Jeonghan that. “Uh, do you have a minute?”

“Uh? Yeah, sure.” Jisoo nodded lightly, rubbing his hands together before shoving them into his pockets. “I can’t really sneak you back in though. Are you alright?”

“Oh, no, it’s okay, I’m fine.” Seungcheol blinked, a bit surprised himself to see the concern in the way his brows frowned a bit. If he was completely honest, he thought the boy would be a bit scared. After all they did pull the guy into a room with him bleeding out of his stomach. Not exactly fun. “Actually, I came to thank you.”

“Oh?” Jisoo’s brows relaxed before raising a bit.

“Yeah, you know, for sowing me up and saving my life and shit.” Seungcheol snorted, trying to bring some humor into the situation. “I know it’s kinda lame, but I mean, everybody likes donuts, right?” He smiled softly, holding out the pastel pink box.

“Ah, you really didn’t have to.” Jisoo shook his head, though he still took the box. “Thank you.”

“I thought _I_ was thanking _you_.” Seungcheol pointed out, smirking as the other let out a small laugh. He didn’t get it. He was supposed to be annoyed at the guy. Well, he wasn’t supposed to be annoyed at him, but he was. He had been, before he started talking to him. And now he found it a bit too hard to even dislike him.

“Well, call it even, then?” Jisoo suggested with a smile that twisted up right at the corners, making him look even more likable. Crap, Jeonghan was right, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, ‘cause donuts totally equal to saving someone’s life.” Seungcheol snorted, hiding his own hands in his coat’s pockets now.

“Don’t underestimate the value of a really good donut.” Jisoo’s face was as serious as he remembered, proving to Seungcheol the boy had at least a sense of humor.

“I feel like I should be offended by that.” Seungcheol raised a brow, watching as the corner of his lips twisted up again.

“Don’t be, I really like donuts.” The other smiled softly now, still holding the box carefully. “Seriously now though, how are you doing?” Jisoo frowned a bit, the concern making itself known once again.

“Ah, I’m fine.” Seungcheol reassured him with a nod. It had been about a week now, and though it was still very sore, everything seemed to be fine. “No redness, no pus, none of that nasty stuff, don’t worry.”

Jisoo chuckled lightly then. “What about rest? Not pushing yourself too much?”

He was legitimatelyworried, huh? “Jeonghan won’t let me move a muscle, seriously.” Seungcheol snickered, shaking his head a bit. “It was almost impossible to convince him to let me come here today. I swear to God, he’d probably carry me here if he could.”

“Really?” Jisoo raised a brow, clearly impressed.

“Well, no. He can barely raise himself, that lazy ass.” Seungcheol smiled at the other’s laugh, finding it a bit warming in that cold winter night.

“Well, he was really worried. Him and Soon… Soonhyun?” Jisoo guessed.

“Soonyoung.” Seungcheol corrected, his expression softening a bit. “But yeah, I guess.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re all alright.” Jisoo nodded, wetting his lips even though it was probably not the wisest thing to do in this weather.

“Also, I should apologize.” Seungcheol grimaced, scratching the back of his head. “What we did was really dumb, and you risked a lot. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I mean, no one found out, so as long as you don’t tell anyone, it’s fine.” Jisoo reasoned, seeming almost too understanding. “If you don’t mind me asking though, why didn’t you just go in through the emergency room?”

“Eh, we don’t have a lot of money.” Seungcheol shrugged. “We didn’t wanna be surprised with a big bill or some shit. Even if they didn’t charge, we’d have to put in a whole bunch of information and all.”

“But what about your parents? Weren’t they worried or something?” The innocence in the other’s tone was almost sweet.

“You’d be surprised how little they care.” Seungcheol chuckled, blinking once he spotted the sadness in his eyes. “I mean, don’t worry, really. Like, it’s complicated, but it’s not. Ah…” He groaned at his lack of capability of actually forming sentences, rubbing between his eyes. “Just, promise me you won’t worry about it, okay? It’s seriously no big deal.”

Jisoo pressed his lips together, seemingly trying to keep himself from laughing at the Seungcheol’s struggle. Well, that was better than to have him looking sad.

“Alright, I won’t.” The student nodded, swaying on his heels a bit too before checking the time on the watch on his wrist. “Ah, crap, I should really get going. I’m sorry. There’s just this test tomorrow and I haven’t had time–”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, no problem.” Seungcheol smiled softly, shaking his head a bit.

“I’m glad you’re doing okay, send the others my regards, alright?” Seungcheol nodded at that, pleasantly surprised he took them into consideration.

“I will. Again, thanks.” He smiled, waving as Jisoo began walking away.

“Ah!” The other turned back around to face him, standing a few steps away. “Uhm, if you need anything… It’s okay? Like, let me know.” Seungcheol blinked at the offer, noticing how the boy bit at his lips and struggled with his words as well. “Just, maybe next time just look for me instead of turning my day into a Liam Neeson movie?”

Seungcheol laughed softly, nodding once again. “Thanks, we’ll keep that in mind.” He waved at the other as he turned back around, smiling a bit to himself. Well, that had been easier than he expected. Nicer, too.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 01 / 2013_

 

Ever since their talk, Jisoo had stopped less and less by the apartment. It wasn’t like he was trying to avoid them. He just had classes to go to, reports to write, books to study, food to buy, parks to see.

Alright, so maybe he was avoiding them a little bit.

He just wasn’t great with confrontations. Or perhaps the lack of it. Because Jisoo knew there wouldn’t be any confrontation, just awkward silences and fake smiles, and he despised that more than an argument.

Thankfully, like Jisoo had predicted, neither of the eldest two seemed to be at home when he stopped by that morning. Soonyoung and Jihoon were there though, looking at something on Jihoon’s laptop screen while Jisoo made some coffee for himself.

“Hyung, you need to stop stealing our coffee.” Soonyoung complained a bit as he looked up at the older, who now served himself a cup.

“You do realize I buy most of the coffee here, right?” Jisoo pointed out with a grin, turning around to lean back against the kitchen counter, holding the cup up with both hands to warm himself up a bit. “Plus,” He licked his lips, smiling softly. “Who was the one to pop your shoulder back into place after you said, and I quote, ‘ _my poor poor arm is beyond repair_ ’?”

Soonyoung seemed to silence all his complaints after that, pressing his lips together before letting out an embarrassed chuckle. “I’m just kidding, hyung. You’re the best.” He tried to play it off as a joke, making it harder for Joshua to hold back a snicker.

“I’ll buy more coffee tomorrow.” Jisoo granted, noticing the cheerful smile the other sported.

“You’ll come by tomorrow?” Jihoon raised a brow, looking up at him from over the screen.

“I think so, why?” Jisoo shrugged, taking another gulp of the coffee.

“No reason, just that Cheol and Jeonghan-hyung usually stay home on Tuesdays.” Jihoon answered nonchalantly.

Jisoo almost sputtered back into the cup, quickly swallowing down the liquid and embarrassingly trying to hide his coughing. Okay, maybe he had actually forgotten about their schedule.

“So?” Jisoo tried playing it off cooly, though it was less convincing than Soonyoung’s acting. He licked his lips, clearing his throat a bit.

“Nothing.” The shorter shrugged. “Just figured it would make it harder for you to avoid them.” Jihoon didn’t really sound judgmental or annoyed. Yet there was something to his tone, something that suggested he wasn’t exactly happy. Had Jisoo upset him?

“I’m not avoiding them.” The older lied, shrugging as well while he drank a bit more.

“Hyung, you were retching.” Soonyoung pointed out, making Jisoo wonder how much they knew. Was the awkwardness so heavy between them that it spread through the apartment, or had Seungcheol just told them?

“You’re exaggerating.” Jisoo frowned, though he soon sighed, putting his cup down. “Maybe I am, a little bit. But it’s just…”

“Hyung told us you don’t wanna move in.” Soonyoung clarified, letting Jisoo know what page they were on at least. “Did you guys fight or something?”

“No, no, we didn’t fight.” Jisoo shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. Why did it feel like they did? Jisoo had no idea.

Maybe because when Jisoo had denied their offer to move in with them, he had noticed the shimmer Jeonghan’s eyes quickly fading away and Seungcheol’s smile dropping. Or maybe because they quickly assured him it was alright through fake smiles and forced glee, making things even worse.

They didn’t fight, but Jisoo felt like had hurt them.

“So why don’t you want to move in?” Soonyoung wondered, though thankfully he didn’t sound pushy., simply curious.

“I just don’t wanna complicate things.” Jisoo shrugged, looking down at his feet as he scuffed the sole against the floor. “There’s already a lot of people here, you know? I don’t wanna give you guys more work.”

“It would make things simpler too, you know?” Jihoon pointed out what, yes, Jisoo already knew. “Your lease is about to expire anyway, this is much cheaper, not to mention closer to the hospital.” Jisoo had already heard it all before from Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

“I know.” The older admitted with a sigh.

“Not to mention that the money you saved on the rent could help us out, if you felt burdened.” Jihoon added, once again not even looking at him.

“ _I know_.” Jisoo repeated, pushing his brown hair back.

“Then this isn’t about practicality.” Jihoon concluded, now looking at Jisoo with his small yet sharp eyes. Actually, Jisoo would rather he was still looking at his screen. “So what is it really about?”

Jisoo smiled small, suddenly feeling like a villain in Scooby-Doo who just got his mask snatched off. “They have something going on, don’t they?” The younger two looked at each other then, looking like it wasn’t the first time they got to that subject.

“Yes and no.” Soonyoung chewed on his bottom lip, measuring his words. “There’s nothing going on, we think, but…”

“It’s only a matter of time.” Jihoon concluded, eyes turning towards him again. “That’s what we assume, at least.” And it was a solid assumption. Jisoo had seen how they treated each other, how close they were. He himself had thought the two were together after watching them share a meal together.

“Is that a problem?” Soonyoung frowned then, much like when someone tried to steal his food.

“No, no, not at all. It’s not that.” Jisoo shook his head quickly. He didn’t have a problem with the two together, not like that. Seungcheol and Jeonghan in a relationship didn’t bother him. Or at least it shouldn’t.

Yet it did. Jisoo had no idea why, but when he thought of Jeonghan teasing someone else, when he thought of Seungcheol laughing at another’s joke… It squeezed his chest in a way Jisoo knew it shouldn’t.

“I just don’t wanna get in between them.” Jisoo admitted, placing both hands on the counter behind him now. He knew he had hurt them when he refused to move in, but he was trying to spare them from more hurt. To spare himself. “And I don’t wanna get squeezed out.”

“What makes you think you would?” Jihoon asked after a moment of silence, the other two looking at the shortest.

“Because I know myself.” He knew how he felt. “And if eventually they’ll get together, eventually I’ll be left out.” That’s just how it always went. He didn’t have a fun personality or a great charming point. He was a good guy, and that was it. Once people figured out there was nothing really special about him, they just kind of… Let him go. “I just don’t want anyone feeling sorry for me in the future.”

Jihoon rolled his eyes, closing the laptop in front of him. “So you rather feel sorry for yourself now?”

“Jihoonie!” Soonyoung reprimanded, frowning a bit. The younger simply ignored him though, looking back at Jisoo.

“Don’t you think that if they asked you to stay, it’s because they _want_ you to stay?” The hacker pointed out, raising a brow.

“Well, maybe, I…” Jisoo tried justifying himself, though he was soon being interrupted.

“You’re just scared of getting hurt, and that’s fine I guess, but don’t you think they were scared too?” Jihoon frowned, yet despite his harsh words, it didn’t feel like the younger was fighting with him. More like trying to beat some sense into him. With a 30 pound spiked club.

“I…” Jisoo breathed in, brushing his hair back. “I didn’t think of that.” He admitted with a bitter taste in his mouth that he knew didn’t come from the coffee.

Jihoon hummed, pushing himself up and tucking his laptop under his right arm. “Exactly.” The younger left the room then, leaving behind a cloud of tension and discomfort.

“Don’t mind him too much, hyung.” Soonyoung smiled softly, getting Jisoo’s attention off his own shoes and back at him. “He just has a big heart and a thick skull. Kind of an inconvenient combination.”

Jisoo smiled small, nodding a bit while slipping his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “Do you think he’s right?”

“I don’t know, I think it’s not as simple as Jihoonie likes to put things.” Soonyoung admitted, licking his lips. “But I don’t think you’d be left out.” He added with honesty in his voice and innocence in his eyes.

“Why not?” Jisoo wondered, noticing how confident Soonyoung seemed in his answer.

“Just, Cheol-hyung is one who makes sure no one feels left out.” The younger admitted. “And I’ve seen the way Jeonghan-hyung looks at you.” He added.

Jisoo raised a brow, slightly confused. “And what about it?”

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung shrugged lightly, looking up at him. “But it’s the same way he looks at Cheol-hyung.”

Jisoo paused at that, his lips parting ready for an answer, yet nothing came out. Was Soonyoung right? Or was he just trying to make him feel better?

Apparently, Jisoo wouldn’t get the answer to that, as Soonyoung was soon following after Jihoon with a warm smile and a quick wave. Jisoo nodded a bit, not being able to smile back as he still tried to comprehend what the younger had told him. Maybe he really did need to think about it. Or just stop thinking at all.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 03 / 2017_

 

This was nice. As simple as it was, it felt like ages since the last time they hung out like this. With Jisoo sitting with his back against the headboard, drying Jeonghan’s hair, on whose lap Seungcheol rested his head. The three sharing Jisoo’s bed, with the lamp on the bedside table giving off a dim yet warm light to the room and no one else there to bother them.

They used to do that a lot before, when Jeonghan’s hair was a bit longer. Jisoo would always keep the blowdryer on low, so the noise wouldn’t drown out their voices and they’d be allowed a bit more time to talk about whatever came to mind. But with how things had been lately, they had barely had time to breathe. Thankfully though, things were slowly returning to normal. Jun was back home and recovering, everyone was slowly getting back on track, and Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung had gone off to do… Well, they had no idea. At least that allowed them to have the room to themselves.

“I swear to God, I don’t trust this.” Seungcheol mumbled, allowing Jeonghan to run his fingers through his hair while he looked up at the ceiling. “They’re up to something, I know it. You can’t trust those three.”

“Stop worrying so much.” Jeonghan chuckled, poking at the frown between the older’s eyebrows. “They’ll be fine.”

“So you don’t think they’re up to something?” Jisoo raised a brow, looking over the other’s shoulder a bit. He knew Jeonghan had a bit of a softer spot for those three, especially the youngest, but their reputation had a reason behind it.

“Oh no, they’re definitely up to something.” Jeonghan grinned as he looked back at Joshua. “I’m just saying, they’ll be fine. They’re a bit odd, but they’re not stupid.” He reasoned, looking back at the one in front of him.

“Maybe they’ll be fine, but the apartment won’t.” Seungcheol pointed out grumpily, crossing his arms over his chest.

Joshua grinned to himself. Maybe Seungcheol was trying to look intimidating, but like that he just seemed like a stubborn child who had been put on time out.

“Just give them a break, they could use some fun.” Joshua shrugged, focusing back on the blonde hair.

“Yeah, so what if they break a plate or two?” Jeonghan shrugged, to which Seungcheol groaned annoyed.

“If they break anything in that kitchen I’m making them sleep in the hallway.” The leader threatened, though Jeonghan quickly tutted at him, flicking his forehead lightly.

“You do anything to Seungkwan or Seokmin and I’m making your week a living hell.” He threatened, and honestly, he sounded more convincing than Seungcheol.

“How will I know the difference?” Seungcheol looked up with a skeptical gaze.

“Oh, believe me, you’ll know, Cheollie.” Jeonghan smirked. “Just so you have an idea, think that everything up until now has been like heaven.” He explained sweetly, curving down to quickly peck the other’s forehead before sitting back up.

Joshua had to keep himself from laughing at Seungcheol’s shift from annoyed to mildly scared. Seungcheol could be the leader in the group, but between the three of them, he was probably the one with the least amount of say in things.

“What about Soonyoung?” Jisoo wondered out loud, running the round brush through the other’s hair. Honestly, he didn’t know how Jeonghan’s hair stood so much bleaching.

“He’s old enough to take care of himself.” Jeonghan reasoned.

“He’s literally one year older than Seokmin.” Jisoo pointed out with a grin.

“Still, he’s been here before me.” Jeonghan continued, his fingers once again running through Seungcheol’s brown locks. “I didn’t get to spoil him as much.”

“Chan was here before you too.” The youngest added, pointing out the flaw in Jeonghan’s reasoning.

“Yeah, but Chan is a little baby. My little baby.” Jeonghan frowned, shifting a bit to look back at the other. “Could you stop questioning my logic?”

Jisoo laughed softly at the other’s stubbornness, nudging him to look forward again so he could finish with his hair. “I’m sorry, please don’t give me a week of Hell.”

“You two are lucky you’re cute.” The one in the middle mumbled, making the other two laugh at the silliness of it, though both of them had a redness to their cheeks that wasn’t there before.

The sound of the blowdryer took over once again, a comfortable half silence settling between them. This was nice. It was familiar, easy. Talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Whatever they wanted to talk about, it would come up. Yet sometimes, they brought up things they didn’t wish to talk about either.

Joshua wasn’t a fan of doing that, especially not after such a draining time. But he’d seen how heavy the weight was becoming on Seungcheol’s shoulders, how bitter the secret was becoming behind Jeonghan’s lips. They needed to let it out.

“We need to talk about it, you know?” Jisoo prompted, noticing from the sudden tension in their shoulders that they already knew what he was referring to.

“There’s nothing more to be said.” Seungcheol sighed, his eyes turning away from the ceiling and aiming now at the door.

“There’s someone for it to be said to.” Jisoo explained patiently, knowing Jeonghan was still weighing his words.

“Should we?” Seungcheol asked, looking up at the two from where he lay. “Should we tell them? Him?”

“We can’t tell everyone else and not him.” Jisoo reasoned. They’d thought about discussing with the rest of the group before talking to him, but they quickly discarded the idea, thinking it would feel too much like they were surrounding him, leaving him out.

“I don’t like keeping secrets.” Jeonghan let out in a soft breath, looking as if he had gone over that sentence over and over again. “I mean, I know I lie all the time, but that’s for fun, for pranks.” He explained, brows pinching together as he looked between the two. “I don’t like keeping secrets when they’re hurting.”

“I get it, I do.” Seungcheol nodded, wetting his lips. “But what if it hurts him even more?”

Jisoo could see his concern was true by the way his lips pressed together and his nose scrunched up a bit. Seungcheol was running a thousand and one ideas in his head, just like he always did with a hard decision.

“But what if it doesn’t?” Jeonghan’s voice was a bit softer, a semi-tone higher even. “What if it makes him feel better?”

“It won’t.” Joshua reasoned, turning off the blowdryer and putting it down on the bedside table along with the brush. Jeonghan’s hair needed much less time to dry now, and although it was better to talk without the sound of the dryer, he did miss it a bit. However, Jisoo took the opportunity to slowly wrap his arms around the other’s slim waist, leaning forward against his back.

“At least at first, it won’t.” Jisoo explained, pressing his lips lightly to the nape of Jeonghan’s neck after sensing his concern. “He’ll probably be mad at us for not telling, too. But I think for the long term, it’s best that he knows.”

“Why for the long term?” Seungcheol asked, looking up at the two.

“Because if something happens in the future, he needs to know.” The youngest continued. “Seungcheol, if he finds out later on that we hid this from him, there’s no going back.” Jisoo squeezed Jeonghan’s waist a bit, more for himself than for the other. “He’ll hate us.”

“We don’t know if something will happen.” Seungcheol tried to reason, sitting up and shifting to face them properly now. Jisoo could see he was giving in.

“Exactly.” Jisoo pointed out. “But do you really want to risk it?”

“No, I just…” The eldest sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down.

“You want to protect him.” Jeonghan completed for him, as if he could read his mind. They both knew it, though. This was Seungcheol still fighting himself, still fighting his over protective instinct. “We all do, but we need to let him decide how he feels about this, Cheollie.”

Jeonghan reached out for the other with a soft smile, taking his hand to squeeze it gently between the two of his. Jisoo watched, eyes softening as he watched Seungcheol’s shoulders slumping.

“I just wanted to wait a bit longer.” The leader breathed out, glancing at the door. “They’ve been through enough. Jun’s been through enough. It’s not fair to strain him even more.”

Jisoo felt one of his hands being taken off the other’s waist, only to join Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s. He squeezed their fingers gently, as a weak form of comfort.

“He needs to know, Cheol.” Jeonghan’s voice was so soft it felt almost like a blanket wrapping around them. “If you want to be fair, that’s what we need to do.”

“What if it gives him hope?” The eldest asked, and that was honestly what Jisoo feared most as well. Giving the boy hope when they couldn’t even assure anything. “It might make him feel better, but I don’t want Jun to forgive him. Not when we don’t know anything.”

“That’s why he has to be the one to make that decision.” Jisoo reasoned, smiling softly. “He needs to grow, and he needs to come to his own decision, but he can’t do that if we shield him from the truth.”

Seungcheol sighed, nodding a bit. He didn’t say much else though, he simply leaned forward, resting his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. The other two chuckled lightly, and while Jeonghan wrapped his arms around the eldest, Joshua brought his hand back up to run his fingers through his dark hair. They knew it was hard for him, letting go of control and reigning back the protectiveness. But he was learning, little by little, and in times like this it showed.

“It’s gonna be hard.” Seungcheol mumbled against Jeonghan’s shoulder, slumping a bit in their hold.

The second eldest nodded in agreement, tilting his head to the side to press a kiss to the other’s temple for a moment. “It will be, but it’s alright.”

Jisoo nodded as well now, leaning to kiss the top of the eldest’s head now. “We’ll do it together.”

Because it was always a bit easier to do things like that. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK WHO MANAGED TO POST WITHIN A WEEK WOW
> 
> ALSO
> 
> 200+ KUDOS !!!! NEARLY 3K HITS !!!  
> Seriously idk where that all came from ~~especially considering the lack of action in this thing~~ but thank you so so much!  
>  And thank you so much for all the nice comments, really. I know I say this all the time but it makes me so happy and motivated to know people enjoy reading this and are legit interested.  
> Really, thank you.
> 
> And finally, some long due 95 line--  
> Jisoo's was one of the first backstories I had planned, so I'm really excited to finally post it.
> 
> Please let me know if you find any typos or something that's too confusing. I read before posting but I often overlook those things, so you'd be helping me out a lot! ^^
> 
>  
> 
> ~~P.S.: I'm a creep who likes checking everything and whenever someone bookmarks this I like seeing if they write anything and a couple of people wrote really nice things so thank you so so much~~


	15. To the next level

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yes, you must rescue Bongbong!” Soonyoung nodded proudly.
> 
> “Rescue him from what?” Hansol blinked a couple of times, looking around.
> 
> Ah, he was so, so glad he asked. With a mischievous grin and an over the top gesture, he pressed the switch on one of the metal beans, activating what looked like a whole set of lasers surrounding the small round table. “Lasers!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this feels like a filler chapter but I needed to write this ok
> 
>  
> 
> ~~also some spy talk (?) yay~~

 

_\-- / 03 / 2017_

 

“Come on Jihoonie, please!”

Seungcheol lifted his head as he heard Jun whining from the living room, taking off his shoes and closing the front door behind himself.

“No way.” Jihoon quickly replied. “I told you, I’m not doing it.”

“But it’ll be fun!” The taller complained while Seungcheol slowly made his way into the apartment, spotting the two on the couch. Jihoon sat on one end with his laptop, while Junhui took over the rest of the couch, half draped onto Jihoon while his other half stretched over the cushions.

“Maybe for you.” Jihoon frowned, looking back at the other. “For me it’ll just be one long headache.”

“No, you’ll like it! I promise.” The older insisted. “I mean, it’ll be hard at first but it’ll be worth it!”

“…Do I wanna know?” Seungcheol asked out from where he stood by Jun’s feet, the two of them now looking up at him. Not to be misunderstood, he fully supported his two friends together. In fact, it was about time. But there were some things he’d rather not know about.

“Get your mind off the gutter.” Jihoon grunted, while Jun looked like the innuendo clearly went over his head. “It’s nothing like that.”

“I’m trying to convince Jihoon to give me hacking lessons.” The taller replied with a smile that reached his eyes.

“Hacking lessons?” Seungcheol’s brows furrowed with the question, his hands slipping into the front pockets of his jeans.

“I told him that’s not a thing.” Jihoon mumbled, the stubbornness showing in his tone.

“But you could make an exception for me!” Junhui whined once again. “Please, Jihoonie. It’s so _boring_ here. I wanna help with something.” He tried to make his point by tugging on the boy’s sleeve. It didn’t look very effective, though.

Now that made sense. Seungcheol hadn’t even thought much about it, but Jun couldn’t train while he was still recovering. In fact, he couldn’t do a lot of things, according to Joshua. The leader was sure part of it was just him being overprotective, but Seungcheol really couldn’t judge anyone for that.

“Why don’t you ask Wonwoo?” Jihoon suggested, looking at the taller.

“Because I wanna spend time with you!” Seungcheol smirked at how the hacker clearly tried to keep a straight face, though his blush sold him out. “Plus, Wonwoo said something like ‘I value my mental stability too much for that’ or some shit.”

“Then go ask Seokmin to teach you medicine or something.” Jihoon shrugged lightly, almost getting Junhui off his shoulder, yet that didn’t seem like enough to push him away.

“Jihoonie, be realistic.” Jun frowned slightly. “I can’t learn medicine in weeks.”

“And you can learn hacking?” Jihoon raised a brow, clearly offended.

“I don’t know, I can at least learn how to read those number thingies or something.” Seungcheol could’ve sworn he saw Jihoon physically cringing at that.

“Hyung, please.” Jihoon looked up at him with pleading eyes, and for Jihoon to call him hyung, he must’ve been truly desperate.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.” The leader shrugged, trying not to laugh at the shift from shock to pure betrayal in Jihoon’s stare. “I’m being serious! I mean, it wouldn’t be bad if we all tried to learn a bit more, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” Jihoon’s stubbornness was letting itself be known again in his frown and slightly raised voice.

“Do you mean like, teaching each other stuff?” Junhui asked with a blink.

“Yeah, exactly. Like, I could learn a bit of thieving, and maybe some of the guys could learn some fighting.” Seungcheol explained, bringing a hand up to scratch the side of his neck. “It’s good to know those kinds of things just in case something happens, you know?”

Jihoon pursed his lips, clearly struggling between keeping his opinion or admitting Seungcheol was right. “I guess that wouldn’t be an entirely bad idea.” The younger finally granted, in his own way.

“Good.” Seungcheol grinned proudly. “I’ll gather a meeting later to let the guys know.”

“Awesome! Does that mean you can teach me now?” Junhui asked once again, smile beaming and warm in Jihoon’s direction.

The younger was about to deny, Seungcheol could see it, but he settled with a sigh and a glare in the leader’s direction. “I hate you.”

 

 

——

 

 

“Alright!” Soonyoung cheered, clapping his hands once. When Seungcheol had told them about learning and teaching new skills, Soonyoung had honestly been quite excited. He was one of the few who was actually looking forward to it, but still, he stood by his opinion. He’d have the chance to teach thieving to the others, and that seemed like a lot of fun. What could go wrong, anyway?

“Thieving is very simple.” Soonyoung began, puffing out his chest proudly.

“Figures, since you do it.” Jihoon mumbled, Hansol and Jeonghan snickering at his remark.

“ _As I was saying,_ ” Soonyoung cleared his throat, sending a sharp stare at his shorter friend. “Thieving is very simple, but it requires a lot of skill. Finesse, if you please.” Soonyoung nodded, brows pushed together in determination.

“Finesse?” Hansol raised a brow, incredulous.

“Of course!” Soonyoung gestured as he spoke, adding flare to his presentation. Alright, maybe he was enjoying this a bit too much, but that wouldn’t hurt anyone. “You need to be as light as a bird, as quick as a cheetah, as cunning as a…” He wet his lips as he tried to remember the metaphor, ignoring the bored stares aimed at him. “Stone fish!”

“Stone fish?” Jeonghan raised a brow, incredulous.

“Yes! They’re those fish who hide pretending to be a stone, then BAM!” He clapped his hand again, startling Hansol. “They eat whatever passes by.”

“How does that have anything to do with thieving?” Jihoon questioned now, leading Soonyoung to shake his head.

“Oh, Jihoon, my poor, naive little friend.” Soonyoung sighed, pitying the other’s lack of knowledge.

“Little?” The shorter frowned, making Soonyoung gulp. Alright, maybe he got a little bit carried away. He could reel it back.

“I just mean, you need to work with your environment.” Soonyoung explained. “Camouflage, blend in.”

“Can’t we just get started already?” Jeonghan complained, but Soonyoung took it as his way of showing initiative.

“Of course!” Soonyoung grinned brightly, nodding quickly as he called them over to the back of their training gym. There, he had a small set up with four metal rods of about his height, placed in the form of the corners of a square around a small table, with about 12 feet between each other. On that table was a small and quite humanoid plush toy.

“Is that Bongbong?” Jeonghan frowned slightly. The Bongbong he referred to was a creation of Mingyu’s to serve as their mascot.

“Yes, you must rescue Bongbong!” Soonyoung nodded proudly.

“Rescue him from what?” Hansol blinked a couple of times, looking around.

Ah, he was so, so glad he asked. With a mischievous grin and an over the top gesture, he pressed the switch on one of the metal beans, activating what looked like a whole set of lasers surrounding the small round table. “Lasers!”

“Seriously?” Jihoon raised a brow. “How did you even set this up?”

“Woonwoo helped me.” Soonyoung smiled, rubbing his hands together. “And yes, seriously. We face them far more often than we wished, so it’s only fair we start with them.”

“But hyung, won’t we like, get burnt or something?” Hansol asked in concern, though Soonyoung quickly shook his head.

“No no, Hansolie, don’t worry. These are just lights, they can’t do anything. But if you touch any of them, a buzzer will sound and you’ll have to start over.”

“Alright, sounds fun.” The younger gave off that 200 watt smile, showing off his eagerness. See, this is why he liked Hansol.

“Great!” Soonyoung clapped once again, not noticing the annoyance in Jihoon’s expression. “Whoever gets Bongbong will get a prize.”

Hansol seemed to already start analyzing the lasers, seeing where was the best place to enter the string figure of green lights. Soonyoung smiled to himself before spotting Jeonghan still standing in the same place. Jihoon seemed to be looking around as well, so Soonyoung would let them try it out first before giving any advice.

“Aren’t you gonna try it out, hyung?” Soonyoung asked the older, to which the boy only shrugged.

“Nah.” Jeonghan sighed. “Looks like too much effort.”

“But- Like, it’s for you to learn new things!” Soonyoung tried to make it sound exciting. “What if you get to a room and it’s all lasers?”

“Then I’ll find another way.” Jeonghan shrugged.

“But there might not be another way.” Soonyoung pointed out, looking back at the buzzing he heard. Hansol had touched one of the lights, apparently.

“So I’ll just get someone else to get the thing for me.” Jeonghan reasoned, a smirk playing on the corner of his lips.

“What if a guard shows up or something?” Soonyoung licked his lips, hearing the buzzing once again. And once again, Hansol was the culprit.

“Then I’ll convince them to get it for me.” The eldest insisted, as if it was the obvious answer.

“How will you get a _guard_ to get it for you?” Soonyoung frowned, growing annoyed at the other’s resistance. And at the constant buzzing. Okay, Hansol clearly needed some help.

“If you have to ask that, you clearly don’t know my skills.” Jeonghan frowned in returned, sounding a bit insulted. Alright, Soonyoung understood where he was coming from. Jeonghan could probably lie his way out of any situation, but Soonyoung would never admit that. Especially not now.

“Then why did you show up if you didn’t wanna learn?” Soonyoung asked with a groan, followed by another buzz. Seriously?

“I thought you’d teach us how to pick pocket or some shit. This is too much work.” The older gestured at the cage of lasers. “Plus, Cheol made me choose between thieving and fighting, and there’s no way I’m risking harming this beautiful face.”

Soonyoung sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine, hyung, but can you just-“

“Here.” Jihoon shoved Bongbong against him, making Soonyoung blink as he took the doll. “What’s the prize?”

“Wait,” The thief paused for a moment before smiling brightly. “Jihoonie, that’s incredible! How did you do it?”

The younger shrugged, acting nonchalant. “I deactivated the lasers.”

“You de- What?” Soonyoung blinked yet again, looking back at the table. Indeed, all the lights were turned off now, and Hansol was standing a couple of feet away from the table with a disappointed pout. “Yah, Jihoon-ah!” Soonyoung groaned, looking back at his friend.

“What? I got Bongbong.” Jihoon reasoned, and Soonyoung chose to ignore the grin on Jeonghan’s face.

“But you were supposed to go through the lasers!” The thief whined, clutching the doll to his chest as if it was the only one he could trust.

“You didn’t specify that.” Jihoon shrugged once again. “You just said who got Bongbong got the prize, and I got Bongbong. Does it really matter how?”

“But it’s not– the point wasn’t– Aaahh!” Soonyoung groaned in despair before finally giving in, reaching inside his jacket to hand out the chocolate bar. “Fine, just take it.” He grumbled, pushing his black hair back.

That wasn’t all he had prepared, they had a few exercises ahead of them. But between Hansol’s inability, Jeonghan’s laziness and Jihoon’s stubbornness, Soonyoung had to admit he was a little bit less excited.

 

 

——

 

 

Cooking wasn’t exactly a required skill for what they did, but it was certainly something that needed to be taught within their group. There were about three of them that could cook properly, Mingyu included, and there were some of them who shouldn’t even be allowed in the kitchen. Needless to say, they needed more cooks.

Thankfully, both Chan and Seokmin looked eager to learn. That made Mingyu a bit more confident, tying his light purple apron behind his back.

“Okay, so we’re gonna learn how to make japchae today.” Mingyu grinned brightly, straightening out his apron as a way to keep his nerves under control. “It’s a simpler recipe, not so much in it so it’s pretty easy to make.”

“Awesome!” Chan returned his smile, visibly excited.

“Alright. First, we need to marinate the meat for a bit. Kyeommie, can you cut the stake? It’s gotta be thin.” Mingyu asked, handing him the chopping board with the meat and a sharp knife. His friend nodded determinedly, placing the cutting board on the counter and beginning to cut the slices. He was a bit slow, but there was no hurry.

“Dino, you can start making the sauce, okay?” Mingyu asked as he turned to put the pot of water to boil to speed things up. “It’s one clove of garlic, one tablespoon of sugar, two tablespoons of soy sauce…”

“Wait, slow down a bit hyung,” Chan asked, taking a glass bowl to start pouring in the ingredients Mingyu told him to. “How much soy sauce?” He asked again.

“Two tablespoons.” Mingyu repeated. “And one tablespoon of sesame oil. Then you can just mix it all together with a spoon or something.” The older instructed. “Seokmin, how’s it going?” He decided to ask, stepping over to his friend’s side.

“Okay, I think, just… Is the beef supposed to bleed this much?” Seokmin asked, glancing back at Mingyu.

“Bleed?” Mingyu raised a brow, noticing the vibrant red liquid running down the other’s hand. “Uuh, Kyeommie… I think that’s your finger.”

“Oh, okay.” Seoming nodded a couple of times, taking a moment to fully understand what exactly was going on. “Oh, oh!” Only then did his eyes widened, bringing his hand up and looking back at the cook. “What do I do?”

“I don’t know, you’re the doctor–“ Mingyu blurted out. It didn’t look that bad, and given the other hadn’t even noticed the cut, it probably didn’t hurt so much either. Still, Mingyu felt a bit guilty for making him cut the meat.

“Oh, right!” Seokmin nodded quickly, heading to the sink to wash off the blood. Mingyu followed him, noticing the small cut on the tip of his right index finger. Good, it really wasn’t that bad. Mingyu left the other by the sink to get the first aid kit from the cabinet on the corner.

“Dino, can you put the noodles in the water? Careful not to burn yourself.” He asked as he got a band-aid for Seokmin, the other mumbling a small “thanks” as he put it over the cut.

“Yeah, sure.” The youngest once again did as he was told before joining the other two, leaning over the counter next to the sink. “You okay hyung?”

“Yeah Channie, I’m fine, don’t worry.” Seokmin smiled brightly, though it quickly shifted into a small pout. “But we can’t use the meat now, can we?”

“Not unless your a fan of your own blood.” Mingyu chuckled, patting the other’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we can do it without the meat.” the tallest reassured him, heading back to the stove to take a look at the pasta. “I’ll go chop the veggies. Can one of you stir the noodles so they won’t stick?” Dino nodded and followed the other’s instructions once again.

With the three working together, and more carefully now, it didn’t take long before the whole dish was done. Despite their first incident, it all went pretty smoothly. Sure, there were a few bumps, like how Mingyu had noticed Dino had thrown an actual entire clove of garlic into the sauce instead of mincing it first. It was okay, it was his own fault for not telling the younger anyway. Still, once they were done, it did look like japchae.

They called Jihoon, Jisoo and Seungkwan over to try the final result, the three eagerly sitting around the kitchen table. Mingyu wasn’t sure if they were excited for them or simply hungry. Probably the latter.

“Here you go.” Seokmin beamed as he put down the bowl of japchae in front of the three along with the metal tongs. Chan placed a small plate in front of each, allowing them to serve themselves.

While the three tried the food, the other three waited, Mingyu picking at the skin around his nails. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, he had barely done much of the cooking. Well, he had done more than he originally intended. However, it was Chan and Seokmin’s dish. It was their achievement.

“It’s good.” Jisoo nodded lightly, pressing his lips together. He didn’t look that excited about it, though.

“Yeah, it’s uh, unique.” Seungkwan added, yet he too didn’t seem to be eating much more. In fact, the only one who was still eating was Jihoon.

“Unique?” Mingyu raised a brow. “It’s the same recipe is always. Just minus the meat.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Seokmin chuckled, showing the bandaid on his finger.

“Oh, yeah, of course. It’s good, hyung.” Seungkwan nodded, eating more of the food. Yet this time Mingyu actually saw him struggling to keep it down.

“Okay, what’s wrong with it?” The tallest frowned, leaning over the table a bit and stealing Jisoo’s chopsticks to try some of the food.

As soon as the pasta touched his tongue, he knew something was wrong. It was… Salty. Extremely salty. At least for japchae.

“What the-“ The cook licked his lips. “I don’t get it. You put sugar in, right Chan?” The youngest nodded quickly as Mingyu looked back at him.

“Yeah, I even put in a bit more because I like it a bit sweeter.” Chan admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Are you sure it wasn’t salt?” Jihoon asked, finally looking up from his bowl. Why he was still eating was beyond Mingyu.

“Yeah, I took it from the blue tupperware.” Chan blinked.

“….You mean the purple one, right?” Mingyu asked. Because the blue one was the salt, it had been that way since the beginning of times.

“Uuh, no. The purple one, next to the rice.”

Mingyu couldn’t help but groan out loud then, head hanging back. “Chan, that’s the salt!” Everyone knew that was the salt. Or everyone would know, if Mingyu wasn’t the only one in that whole damn apartment who actually cooked.

“…Oh.” The youngest pressed his lips before letting out a small chuckle. “Sorry?” Mingyu groaned once again, taking off his apron and throwing it on the floor in resignation.

“Hyung, don’t be upset. It happens.” Seungkwan reasoned, reaching out to rub his arm.

“What are we gonna do with a whole bowl of that, though?” Mingyu whined, shoulders slumping. It was all going so well, he was so proud of himself, and of them, but it was all just a lie. Fate had deceived him once again, betrayal saltier than the sauce on his tongue.

Alright, maybe he was being a bit too dramatic, but he took cooking seriously.

“It’s still edible.” Jihoon shrugged, putting his own empty bowl aside to take the bigger dish, the rest of them staring at him in disbelief.

“You’re really weird, you know that?” Mingyu asked out, too disappointed in himself to fear the repercussions.

Jihoon only shrugged again though, licking his lips before eating more of the japchae.

 

 

——

 

 

While Soonyoung was quite happy about the whole sharing knowledge things, Minghao was one of the more reluctant ones. And with good reason.

It started with Seungkwan wanting to learn how to fight. He didn’t know who had suggested that to the boy, given he had the fighting ability of a leaf bug. Regardless, Minghao figured it wasn’t bad to learn some self defense. So he tried teaching the younger some moves with the nunchucks, easy things.

Well, it goes without saying that it didn’t work very well. Seungkwan ended up with a bump on the back of his head and Minghao almost had to get new nunchucks, given at some point they flew out of a window. A closed window, by the way. Seungcheol was not happy about that.

So Seungkwan had given up on the self defense thing. However, Mingyu was annoying him beyond compare. His friend insisted he wanted to learn some moves. And once again, Minghao knew it would probably be useful to him, given he went into many missions. But this was Mingyu they were talking about. The guy who managed to break three phones in less than half a year.

“Okay, let’s start with the fighting stance.” Minghao begrudgingly advised, watching as his friend held both fists up to his chest. Well, it could be worse.

“First of all, bend your knees a bit.” The Chinese boy corrected him by lightly kicking the back of his knees, hiding a grin as Mingyu looked back at him with a glare. “Fists are further up. Both by your chin, but not too close. Hold your dominant hand a bit further out.”

“What’s my dominant hand?” Mingyu raised a brow, looking back at him.

“The one that screws up less.” Minghao snickered, watching as his friend looked at both hands, trying to decide. “The one you write with, genius.” He added, standing by the other’s side to fix his left hand a bit further out.

“How did you know I write with that one?” Mingyu blinked, genuinely surprised.

“Contrary to some people, I pay attention to my surroundings.” Minghao pointed out, stepping back to let his friend face the punching bag.

“So you pay attention to me?” Mingyu grinned, making something stir in Minghao’s stomach. Thankfully, the younger willed himself not to throw up.

“Shut up.” He grumpily replied, ignoring the mirth in the other’s stare. “Just punch the bag already.”

Mingyu nodded to himself, closing his fists tight before throwing a punch at the bag. If that could even be called a punch. Minghao was sure the boy moved more than the actual target.

“You’re supposed to punch it, you know, not stroke it.” He pointed out with a brow raised.

“I did punch!” The other whined, a pout beginning to grow on his lips.

“You barely picked up any dust.” Minghao snickered. “Come on, you can’t call it a punch unless some dust comes off.”

“That’s gross, you know?” Mingyu frowned, relaxing his stance a bit. “Don’t you guys ever clean this thing?”

“It’s a punching bag, not a dining table. Now come on, we ain’t got all day.” Minghao nudged his knee with his foot, making the other huff.

Mingyu tried again, this time with a bit more strength, Minghao would grant that. Still, he was holding back far too much. Not to mention that, for some reason, he seemed to be closing his eyes whenever he threw a punch.

“…Are you scared?” Minghao blinked, watching as the other paused.

“Uh?” The taller looked back at him in confusion. “Of you? A little bit…”

“No, idiot, of the bag.” Minghao snickered. “You keep closing your eyes, what’s with that?”

“I am?” Mingyu looked honestly surprised, which confused Minghao a bit. He kept himself from groaning, knowing he had far too much to teach the other.

“Yeah, and if you close your eyes while punching someone you reduce your chance of actually hitting them by like 70%, you know?” Minghao pointed out, crossing his arms. “Not to mention it makes it much easier for them to hit you.”

“But this is a punching bag, it’s not gonna hit me.” Minghao took a deep breath at the other’s defense, resorting to the bit of patience he had left.

“But you’re not gonna be hitting punching bags out there, are you?” The younger sighed, pushing his hair back. “Just, do it like this.”

He then stood next to Mingyu, quickly getting into his own fighting stance to punch the hanging bag. It wasn’t an extremely hard punch, it was just to show technique. How his knees bent a bit more, how he used his elbows to stretch out his arm quickly. The punching bag moved nonetheless, Minghao’s eyes fixed on the softly swinging figure as he hit it a couple more times.

“See? It’s not as hard as it seems.” He stood up straight again, gesturing to his friend. “Now you try it.”

Mingyu pressed his lips together, nodding twice before trying once again. The bag didn’t move, but at least he didn’t close his eyes.

“Bend your knees a bit more and hit harder.” Minghao coached as the other did as he said, at least some specs of dust flying off now from the impact.

“Don’t worry, you won’t hurt yourself.” The thief assured him. “Again, harder.” He ordered, analyzing his form as he threw another punch, this time the bag seemingly moving an inch. “Harder.” Minghao repeated, watching as Mingyu continued.

The taller was throwing punches on his own now. His form was still a bit clumsy, but he was taking Minghao’s notes pretty well. He seemed to be controlling his strength a bit better as well, the bag swinging a little more with every hit.

“Good, good.” Minghao complimented, hoping Mingyu wouldn’t get too cocky. It was a habit of his, getting slightly too happy whenever the Chinese boy gave him a compliment. “Now, just a few more and we can–“

The younger was interrupted by the loud thud of the four feet tall punching bag falling down to the floor. The two stayed where they stood, the chain where it used to hang from swinging broken and idly, the bag lying pitifully on the floor. Minghao wasn’t sure how long the two stayed in silence before he spoke.

“You broke the punching bag.” Minghao stated, as if the scene in front of them wasn’t evidence enough. “How the hell did you break that punching bag?!” He frowned then, turning to his friend.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” The older whined out his automatic response, activating the puppy eyes. “It wasn’t my fault!”

“You were the one punching it!” Minghao let out, gesturing towards the bag on the floor.

“Because you told me to!” Mingyu argued, pointing at his friend.

“I told you to punch it, not break it!” The Chinese boy complained, scowling as he pushed his brown hair back. “You know how much those things are?”

“I said I was sorry!” The taller pouted, and fine, this time he really looked sorry. “You know I break things. I can’t control it!”

And yes, that was an unfortunate truth. Mingyu had a talent for breaking things, and it seemed to be beyond his control. Did that make it less of an inconvenience? Not, it definitely didn’t.

“We’re done for today.” Minghao announced, crossing his arms like an ‘X’ before turning to leave the training room. He’d take care of the bag issue later.

“But what about the training?” Mingyu questioned, following the other like a pitiful dog.

“I can’t train anyone else for today without the risk of strangling someone.” Minghao scowled. “And I’m hungry, so you’re cooking.” He turned to poke at the other’s chest a bit too strongly.

“Ow– Why me? I’m not hungry.” He frowned, rubbing the sore spot on his chest.

“Because you broke my punching bag and I’m mad at you.” Minghao concluded, turning back around and heading for the door.

“…Bulgogi?” Mingyu asked as he followed a few steps behind.

Minghao pulled the metal door open so strongly it banged against the wall, storming out of the gym. “Damn right, bulgogi!”

 

 

——

 

 

“I give up!” Soonyoung announced as he stormed into the apartment, followed by Jeonghan and Wonwoo. The hacker, instead of heading to the living room, decided to stop by the kitchen first, Seungcheol didn’t know what for.

“Why? What happened?” The leader blinked from where he sat on the arm chair, thought sat wasn’t quite the word. The eldest was laying sideways on the chair with his back against one arm rest and his legs over the other.

“Nothing happened, that’s the problem!” Soonyoung complained, throwing himself onto the couch next to Minghao, who didn’t seem that cheerful either after a session of undercover lessons from Mingyu. Seungcheol hadn’t much idea of how that went, but given Minghao’s grunts of “terrible teacher” and Mingyu’s complaints of “stubborn head”, he figured it could’ve gone better.

“What do you mean, nothing happened?” The leader questioned as Jeonghan nudged his leg to give him some space. Seungcheol shifted then to sit up more properly with his back against the back rest, Jeonghan half sitting on his thigh while leaning against the arm rest.

“He’s just being overdramatic.” The blonde rolled his eyes, to which Soonyoung frowned further more.

“I’m not being dramatic! He wouldn’t do anything, hyung. _Anything!_ ” The thief exclaimed while Wonwoo returned with an icepack against the side of his neck. That wasn’t a good sign.

“You mean, he couldn’t?” Seungcheol raised a brow, looking up at Jeonghan now.

“No, he just wouldn’t! Seriously, he didn’t want to go through the lasers, he simply refused to try to squeeze into the ventilation pipes, and don’t get me started on how he got Vernonie to climb the rope for him!” As much as Seungcheol would like to defend Jeonghan, it all sounded a lot like something he’d do.

“It was all just so much effort!” Jeonghan complained, his thin lips turning into a small pout as he made his claim to Seungcheol. Damn it, Jeonghan knew the he couldn’t get angry when he gave him that look. “I just don’t get why I’d go through so much trouble.”

“But Hannie, you were supposed to learn a couple of thieving things…” Seungcheol pointed out, tone softer than he intended. He blamed it on the damn pout.

“But it doesn’t make any sense. If I can get Hansolie to get something for me, why would I do it myself?” Jeonghan shrugged, Seungcheol snickering at his antics.

“He has a point, you know?” Wonwoo reasoned, head tilted to the right as he now rested on the couch next to Soonyoung. “At least he didn’t pull a muscle.”

“I told you to use your legs and not your arms.” Soonyoung spoke in a way that made Seungcheol realize it was probably not the first nor second time he had said that, yet it still had a touch of apology to it. “Do you see what I had to put up with?” He sighed, looking back at their leader.

“What about Jihoon and Hansol?” Seungcheol wondered, his hand now settling by Jeonghan’s waist.

“I kicked Hoonie out on the first day because he wasn’t playing by the rules.” Seungcheol made an effort not to snicker at Soonyoung’s frown, though Minghao surely didn’t bother hiding his amusement. “And Hansolie is well intentioned, but he’s a bit… Well… He can learn, but I think it’ll take longer than a few weeks.”

“Tell me about it. He asked me to teach him some flips yesterday and he almost sprained his ankle.” Minghao added, looking a bit more relaxed now.

“Come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.” Seungcheol reasoned, lips pressing together.

“Oh no, it was pretty bad. I mean, he was better than Mingyu, but still.” The Chinese boy insisted.

“Just admit it hyung, this was a terrible idea.” Wonwoo groaned as he turned his head a bit too much, Soonyoung patting his hair in a form of comfort.

“Yeah hyung. I mean, I hate to agree with them, but this didn’t really work out as well as we predicted.” Soonyoung pouted slightly, his eyebrows pushing together as well.

“Well, okay, it didn’t go so well, but it wasn’t _terrible_.” Seungcheol argued, feeling a bit of disappointment in the failure of his plan.

“Tell that to the punching bag.” Minghao grumbled. “And the window.”

“And my old laptop.” Wonwoo almost winced at the memory of trying to teach Seokmin some hacking.

“Fine, fine, it could’ve gone much better.” The leader granted. “But still–“

“Guys, guys, look!” Junhui interrupted the eldest as he rushed into the living room holding an open laptop with one arm, his other hand on the keyboard.

“Yah, careful with that!” Jihoon scolded as he followed the other, standing next to him.

“What is it?” Soonyoung blinked, looking at the two that stood in front of them from across the coffee table.

“Just, wait a second.” Jun grinned, typing a few things down while muttering some commands.

Jihoon didn’t say another word either, just standing on the tip of his toes to look at the screen over the top of the boy’s shoulders. There were bags under his eyes, his hair was a bit messier than usual, but he didn’t look as grumpy as he usually did when he was tired.

“I don’t get it. Are you gonna show us something?” Minghao frowned slightly in confusion, motioning to get up.

“Just, hold on…” The taller stretched out the last word as a plea for them to wait. “And… There!”

He pressed down decisively on a key Seungcheol couldn’t spot. At the same moment, all lights in the living room turned off, the only source of light coming from Junhui’s laptop. Or better yet, Jihoon’s laptop that the older boy held.

“Uh?” Jeonghan blinked, looking around in the dark. “What happened?”

“Is it a power cut?” Soonyoung’s question followed.

“I did it!” Junhui cheered brightly, his grin wide under the blue-ish light coming from the screen. “Now… Let there be light!” Their Chinese friend announced, pressing a key once again and turning on all the lights.

“I can’t believe you actually said that.” Jihoon muttered, cheeks slightly tinted from second-hand embarrassment. Or maybe something else.

“Wait, you’re doing this?” Minghao blinked, looking at the two.

Junhui giggled, nodding a bit. It would never fail to amuse Seungcheol, a guy as tall and broad as Junhui giggling over the smallest things. “Yeah. I mean, Jihoonie helped me.”

“I just told him what to do, but he did it on his own.” Jihoon explained, giving credit where credit was due.

“Huh.” Wonwoo hummed, watching as the lights went on and off once again. “Nice job.” The boy looked genuinely impressed, which seemed to make Junhui grow even giddier.

“That’s so cool, Junnie!” Soonyoung finally seemed to match the other’s excitement, sitting on the edge of the couch. “Good job!”

“Thanks!” The boy’s grin grew wider.

“Yeah, now come on, let’s stop before you blow a lightbulb.” Jihoon mumbled, reaching out for the laptop that was quickly raised higher than he could reach.

“No, wait, I wanna show Hansol and Channie first!” Jun announced, quickly making his way to their bedroom. Jihoon sighed deeply, gathering his energy before following the other once again.

“Huh.” Jeonghan looked back at Seungcheol now. “Didn’t see that coming.”

“See?” The leader grinned proudly, patting the other’s back. “It wasn’t such a bad idea after all.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS AND ALL THE KUDOS!!  
> I'm so glad people liked Jisoo's (and the 95 line) backstory, it was really nice to write.
> 
> I'm sorry it took me so long to post such a light chapter, but I really want to sort of balance things out better plus I really felt like writing this ok  
> Also, I took some time to write down everything i already know i want to write about and I was able to at least get an outline of the next two and a half chapters, so that helped a lot!
> 
> Once, please let me know if you spot any typos! I always revise before posting, but I'm an idiot who misses things- OTL
> 
> And again, thank you so so much for all the love you're giving this fic. Seriously, it means so much to me and motivates me to do better for you.
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Legit looked up pictures of mingyu to find out if he's a righty or a lefty~~


	16. Optimism works on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Jisoo-hyung has been doing it too, it can’t be that dangerous.” Seokmin added now, blinking.
> 
> “You’re on their side?” Seungkwan frowned, begging his friend to see the right side of things.
> 
> “Well, no, I mean, I just think it’d be cool.” Seokmin smiled warmly. “Plus, they seem nice.”
> 
> “Everyone seems nice to you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of background once again

 

“You called?” Seungcheol asked as he walked into the office room, spotting his friend sitting in front of the desktop.

“Yeah, grab a seat.” Jihoon gestured towards where he assumed the chairs were, not bothering to look back at the leader. Seungcheol didn’t take offense to it though, only pulling up a chair and sitting down next to the other.

“It wouldn’t hurt to open a window in here, you know?” The eldest suggested, eyes straining under the light of the two screens and the yellow lamp on the desk.

“How can you be sure? I could be a vampire or something.” Jihoon teased, eyes still aimed at the numerous open windows on the screen.

“Doubtful. How would you reach people’s necks?” Seungcheol stifled a chuckle as he shielded himself from the incoming punch, rubbing his forearms. How Jihoon got so strong without doing any sort of exercise was beyond him.

“Keep taking like that and I’m not showing you what I found.” Jihoon warned him with a glare.

“So you found something?” The leader blinked, taking a more serious posture now as he sat up on the chair.

“Honestly? It’s not much.” The younger sighed, looking back at his screen as he showed the files he managed to pull up. They were all censored, blocked. “The Casino already moved the flash drive, that’s for sure. And there’s no data on it, nothing.”

“Well, they know we got in. We knew they’d lock the doors tighter now.” Seungcheol reasoned, throwing an arm over the back of the other’s chair while leaning closer to the screen. “We didn’t have much the first time, did we?”

“No. But we had people inside, remember?” The hacker pointed out. “And I figured you’d want to avoid that for now.”

“You figured right.” Seungcheol sighed. Most of them had already exposed themselves that night, and the few that hadn’t weren’t exactly experts on going under cover. They’d be too compromised.

“That’s not all. There’s literally nothing on our break in, either. I think they moved the security to a third party.” Jihoon explained.

“What do you mean?” The older frowned, glancing at his friend. “Like they hired a security company or something?”

“Kind of, yeah. Though with the kind of money they have, I doubt they saved any expenses.” Jihoon added suggestively, and Seungcheol took the hint.

“Did you find out who they are?” Seungcheol asked, looking back at the screen. He had a feeling, a question on the tip of his tongue, but he wanted to hear the other out first.

“No, they’ve been hired for a reason, they’re good at what they do.” The shorter sighed, pushing his light hair back. The near white of is strands mimicked the light blue of the screen, and Seungcheol wondered if he had dyed his hair only to hide actual white hairs. He hoped not.

“I’ve found a few traces, though.” Jihoon admitted, opening a few more windows of the Casino’s information. “They seemed to have transferred all their security issues to this new company, so I’ve tried hacking into their guests informations once again.”

“And?” Seungcheol prompted.

“And I was right, they’re using different security methods.” The hacker explained before looking back at Seungcheol. “But we’ve seen them before.”

The leader blinked, looking back at his friend. “The Chinese agency?” Seungcheol reasoned. It was the most logic choice, after all. It’s where they’d found Ming Ming and Jun, and later Minghao, and given the first was there that day as well…

“No.” Jihoon shook his head lightly, still facing the leader. “Vernon’s case.”

“Vernon?” Seungcheol’s brows raised under his fringe, looking back at the screen. “I thought they disappeared.”

“Well, we haven’t seen them in ages. Doesn’t mean they disappeared.” Jihoon reasoned, fixing the glasses on the bridge of his nose. “But the patterns are there, the same type of security. It’s still possible it’s not them, but you know…”

“Highly unlikely.” Seungcheol completed, nodding lightly.

“Yeah.” Jihoon agreed, slumping back on his chair. “That’s all I could get so far, anyway. Maybe we can talk to Hansolie and see if he remembers anything about them.”

“Yeah, I’ll talk to him.” He wasn’t sure what the boy would know, given that was years ago. Not only that, but Hansol barely knew anything about them in the first place. That was basically the whole deal with being scammed.

Seungcheol brought his palms up to his face, rubbing his eyes with a long sigh. Things were calm now, pleasantly so, but he had a feeling a storm was about to come at some point.

“What about Ming Ming?” Seungcheol asked, noticing the sudden tension in the other’s shoulders. “Did you find anything on him yet?”

“Not really. I’m running facial recognitions everywhere, but nothing came up yet.” Jihoon showed the pictures he found, taken from subway and security cameras. Familiar faces, but none of them were his, Seungcheol could tell. “I found some files on him from a year ago, but that’s the most recent thing. He’s been AWOL since.”

“Alright, send me what you found on him, even if it’s old.” Seungcheol nodded, patting his own knees before pushing himself up.

“Cheol?” Jihoon asked as he made his way to the door, stopping half way to look back at the hacker. “Not to be rude, but why are you doing all this?” Seungcheol raised a brow, showcasing his confusion. “I mean, is there a reason? Seems like too much work for just revenge, especially for you.”

Jihoon knew him well. As furious as Seungcheol had been when everything happened, he wasn’t one to chase someone down for revenge. Not if they didn’t pose any more threat. “I just need some answers.”

“And you think he has them?” The hacker raised a brow over the rim of his glasses.

“Maybe if we ask the right questions.” The leader admitted, hand now on the doorknob, yet not turning. “Do you think he needs revenge?” He wondered.

“I don’t think Junnie would like that.” Jihoon replied almost instantly, showing he knew Junhui better than he thought so himself.

“What about you?” Seungcheol asked, noticing the boy’s inner struggle. His fingers were twitching a bit against the arm rest, teeth picking at the dry skin of his lips.

“I wouldn’t mind hitting him with a guitar or two.” Jihoon showed off a small grin, gaining a chuckle from the leader.

He was glad. Jihoon was not only being honest about his feeling, but actually finding in himself to be playful. They were healing.

“Let me know if you find anything else.” Seungcheol smiled, giving another nod before opening the door. “And open a window in here, it’s depressing.”

“Your face is depressing.” Jihoon called out as the leader walked away, snorting to himself.

Maybe they were healing a bit too well.

 

 

——

 

_\- - / 03 / 2014_

 

Chan was tired of doing the same thing over and over again. And by the same thing, he meant nothing. Because when everyone else got to get in and kick ass, he had to stay outside and monitor. Sure, he knew someone had to do it and it was useful and ‘blah blah blah’, but he wanted to do more.

Yet again, he was stuck with monitoring. Waiting outside of a warehouse by the pier, the young boy could hear the guys talking on the radio while he kicked small pebbles, keeping an ear on the situation. They were going to intervene or some kind of delivery that was happening over there, nothing new. It should be easy.

“Dino, you read?” His older brother called through the radio, and the boy quickly brought up the device.

“Yeah hyung, I’m here.” The younger answered.

“We need help.” The leader announced, and as wrong as it sounded, Chan was smiling. They needed help, his help.

“Sure hyung, on my way!” He called out, running towards the back entrance of the large rectangular building.

“No, wait! Don’t get in.” Seungcheol warned, making the younger stop in his tracks. “Open the northwest door and wait there.”

“Alright…” Chan frowned a bit, yet did as he was told, moving to the other side of the building. “But why do I need to wait there?”

“We’re sending someone out. There’s this kid here…” He could hear his brother sighing at the other end of the line. “We’re going after the rest of them, but this kid’s clean, Just stay with him ’till we get back, okay?”

Chan felt his shoulders slumping, emptying his lungs. “But hyung, I can go with you.” He protested with a pleading note.

“No, he needs someone. You’ll be helping more if you stay there.” The older insisted, and Chan knew there was no discussing it further.

“Alright, I’ll stay here.” He gave up, putting the radio in his back pocket and ignoring the other’s confirmation.

Before he could even get upset though, he saw a guy coming out through the dark corridor. He looked young, around his age maybe, so he was probably the kid Seungcheol mentioned. His hair was brown and parted in the middle, falling over his eyes a bit.

“Hey, over here.” Cham smiled, waving a bit at the other.

The boy blinked a couple of times once he spotted him, quickly rushing over. He looked antsy, panicked, clearly not involved with whatever had happened in there.

“They– I wasn’t, I swear! Like, I had no idea–“ He babbled, licking his lips while looking back and forth between Chan and the warehouse behind them.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine. I know.” Chan smiled, trying to calm the other down a bit. “Come on,” He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, only to pull it back once he noticed how he immediately flinched.“Let’s go over there, alright? Get away from the mess.”

With a nod, the other began following him closer to the pier, through the narrow spaces between the different warehouses. Then they got closer to the floating pier, the fair was starting to pick up, vendors setting up their shops for the morning.

“Hey, you wanna grab something to eat? The sweet potatoes are great.” Chan grinned as he looked back at the other, though is expression immediately softened. The boy was a few steps back, curled up on the ground with his back against a wall and his arms around his knees.

“Hey…” Chan called softly, walking over to crouch down in front of the other. “Are you okay?”

The boy nodded, though the paleness of his skin said otherwise. “Yeah, I’m just… It’s a lot, you know?” He tried to chuckle, but his hands only gripped his jeans tighter.

Chan bit at his bottom lip, trying to figure out what to do. He could ask Jisoo-hyung if he was in the radio, but he wasn’t sure what was going on. All he knew was that the guy looked scared.

“It’s okay.” Chan tried smiling again, sitting down in front of him. “What’s your name? Can you tell me that?”

“Y-Yeah, Hansol.” The other nodded, wetting his lips.

“Oh, that’s cool. You’re the first Hansol I meet.” Chan admitted with a blink. “I’m Chan.” He grinned then. “But you can call me Dino.”

“Dino?” The other questioned, raising a brow.

“Yeah, my brother gave me that nickname ‘cause I got a big mouth like a dinosaur.” The younger bit the air a couple of times, smiling with pride as he managed to get a chuckle from the other.

“That’s cool.” Hansol smiled small, shoulders seeming to relax a bit. alright, this was working. Whatever this was.

“I know it’s a bit scary, but it’s okay. I promise, you’re safe now.” Chan nodded, watching as the other loosened the hold on his knees, only to pick at the distressed jeans.

“I know, I think, just… I didn’t know there was everything to be safe from.” Chan’s brows pulled into a frown as Hansol chewed on his bottom lip. “I didn’t know about any of this, I promise. I’d never do this kind of thing. I thought I was just delivering some papers, not…” He gulped, fingers starting to curl.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine, really.” Chan assured him. “We know that, and hyung knows it too. Don’t worry, you’re not getting in trouble, I promise.” The younger insisted, nodding once again just to prove how certain he was.

Hansol’s frown softened at that, his red lips taking a rest from all the biting. “Is your hyung the one who got me?”

“I think so. The one with big ears, kind of looks like a camel?” Chan chuckled at the other’s quick nod. “Yeah, that’s him. He’s my older brother.”

“He seemed cool.” Hansol admitted, getting an even bigger grin from Chan.

“Yeah, he is. Just don’t tell him I said that.” Chan smirked, feeling a bit of relief from the way his features slowly began to relax once again.

“You kinda look like him.” The other admitted, making the younger blink.

“Really?”

“Yeah, you both got big heads.” Hansol teased, getting a light slap to the knee from the other.

Dino scoffed, personally insulted. “Well, at least I don’t have a… At least my ears aren’t… Shit, is there anything wrong with you? You look like a mini DiCaprio or something.” He frowned, though couldn’t help the grin taking over his features as the boy laughed. It felt nice, seeing him joking around. He still looked nervous, but Chan had a feeling Hansol was a good guy. “Good to know you’re feeling good enough to diss me.”

“Sorry.” Hansol chuckled softly, scratching his arm a bit.

“Eh, don’t be. If we’re hanging out, you need to know how to diss.” Chan admitted, pushing himself up and dusting off his jeans.

“We’re hanging out?” Hansol wondered, looking up at the other.

“Well, we gotta wait to hear from the others. I’m sure they wanna meet you and make sure you’re okay.” Chan smiled warmly, offering a hand to help the boy up. Thankfully, Hansol took it with a soft smile of his own. “Now come on, we’re getting sweet potatoes.”

 

 

——

 

 

It took them a while before they all met together. Hansol wasn’t even expecting that many people. He remembered Chan’s brother, and one or two more, but he was sure he hadn’t even seen the rest of them. Except for Chan, of course.

However, now there were ten people around him in that tight living room, either sitting on the floor or old chairs. The couch he was on thankfully wasn’t too occupied. He sat between Chan and his older brother, which he was also thankful for, since it gave him some stability. They were giving him space, that was good. Hansol doubted he’d feel that nervous again in there, but it felt comforting nonetheless.

Another thing he noticed, aside from how many they were, was how young they were. They just helped save him from what was apparently a drug delivery, and they looked no older than twenty-four. Meanwhile he managed to get scammed into the weirdest shit he’d ever done.

Wasn’t that a boost to the self esteem?

“So, Chan was saying you didn’t know what was going on?” Oh yeah, Hansol forgot they were actually having a conversation. He did that sometimes. The one with small eyes asked was who asked. Soonyoung, if he remembered correctly.

“Uh, yeah.” He rubbed his hands together, looking around at all of them. “I’m sorry, I know this sounds stupid as hell, but I think I got scammed.”

“Scammed?” Asked the one with longer hair, though Hansol couldn’t remember his name. He just knew he looked like a super model or something.

“That’s not stupid, it happens all the time. Really.” Seungcheol reassured with a firm nod.

“Really? Has this happened to you before?” Hansol wondered.

“Well, we haven’t actually met anyone who’s been scammed, but we know _of_ them.” Soonyoung admitted with an awkward grin, rubbing the back of his name.

“If it helps, I scammed a lot of people before.” The pretty one shrugged.

“Jeonghan, you’re not helping.” Seungcheol reprimanded, though Hansol was glad he knew his name now.

“What? I’m just saying he shouldn’t feel bad. It’s easy to fool people.” Jeonghan reasoned, crossing his arms.

“Thanks…?” Hansol raised a brow, wondering if that was meant as a compliment.

“Don’t pay attention to him.” One of the shortest spoke for what seemed to be the first time. “Can you tell us how it happened?”

“Yeah, just… It’s kinda stupid?” Hansol admitted with an embarrassed smile. “I kind of came to Seoul to, you know, make it big.” The boy felt even more ridiculous by admitting it. “I’ve done some acting as a kid, and I wanted to try again. I wanted to help my parents get some money, you know? And my dad wasn’t really into it, but mom told me to go for it, so–“

“Wait.” The tall one interrupted his rambling. “So you live with your parents?”

“No no, I came to the city alone. They’re back in Busan with my sister.” Hansol explained, wetting his lips. “I just… I wanted to make them proud, you know? And then this guy came to me after an audition, saying he liked my style, and…”

“Offered to recruit you?” The shorter asked again, to which Hansol nodded.

“Yeah.” He smiled small, shrugging. “Like I said, stupid.”

“It’s not stupid.” One who sat on the floor insisted. “It happens more than you think.”

“Jun’s right.” Seungcheol nodded. “You didn’t do anything wrong. They’re the ones who took advantage of you.”

“Wait, but how did you get from training to be an actor to delivering drugs?” Chan wondered, innocence weaved into his words.

“They made me do some chores once in a while, you know? To kind of pay for auditions and stuff. They honestly told me I was just delivering some paperwork to some associates and gave me a box. I promise you, I didn’t know anything, really.” Hansol insisted, pleading them to take this word.

“Hey, we know that, we believe you.” Seungcheol reassured him with a nod. “We just wanna know as much as we can so we make sure they don’t try something like that again.”

“Well, I can give you their card if you want. And I can show you were they stayed.” Hansol suggested, trying to help.

“I doubt they’ll still be there, but any information helps.” The shortest agreed.

“What about you?” Chan’s older brother asked, getting a confused look from the younger.

“What about me?”

“Are you gonna be okay? Where are you staying?” He asked, brows furrowed in what seemed like concern.

“Uh, I was staying in a rented room.” Hansol admitted, running his fingers through his hair. “I got like another month on the lease. I didn’t renovate it because they said they’d find a dorm for me, so… Well, that’s kinda not an option anymore.” The boy chuckled.

“Do you need a place to stay?” Jeonghan frowned, though he seemed more preoccupied than anything else.

“Ah, no, it’s fine. I can figure something out.” Hansol smiled brightly, trying to keep them from worrying too much. “If anything I can just go back home.”

“Alright, but don’t be afraid to come to us, alright?” Seungcheol patted his shoulder before getting up. “We’ll keep an eye on you too.”

“On me?” Hansol blinked, looking around.

“Don’t scare him.” Joshua, the other one whose name he remembered, slapped Seungcheol’s arm lightly. “He just means they’ll keep an eye to make sure those guys don’t bother you again.” He smiled softly, and Hansol felt more at ease, somehow.

“Oh, thanks.” The boy grinned once again, getting himself up as well. “Anyway, I should get out of your hair now.”

“What are you talking about?” Chan frowned, jumping up from the couch as well. “You’re staying for dinner, right hyung?” The younger looked over and Seungcheol, who just chuckled.

“We’d like that, but don’t force him, Chan.” The older ruffled his brother’s hair before walking to the kitchen.

“You sure it’s not too much trouble?” Hansol asked, not wanting to burden them anymore.

“Don’t worry, Mingyu likes cooking, right Mingyu?” Samuel, the youngest, asked, almost jumping on top of the tallest’s back.

“Yeah, one more mouth won’t make that much difference, don’t worry.” Mingyu grinned, his canines poking out a bit as he now carried the young boy.

Hansol wet his lips. He barely knew them, and after just being scammed he should really be more careful, but they didn’t seem like bad people. In fact, they seemed like the kind of people Hansol could easily be friends with. Plus, if he went home he’d probably just be eating instant noodles for what would be the 5th night in a row.

“Alright, guess I’ll stay then. Thanks.” The boy grinned, following Mingyu to the kitchen to at least see if he could help.

It was only one night after all, how much harm could it be?

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 08 / 2014_

 

“I’m just saying.” Seungkwan continued, walking down the corridor with Seokmin by his side. “If you’re allergic to peanuts, don’t eat the damn peanuts. Do people think they’ll just stop being allergic at some point in their lives?”

“Maybe he didn’t know there were peanuts in it.” Seokmin reasoned, slipping his hands into his navy coat.

“It was a cereal bar, hyung. You just read the label, it’s not that hard.” Seungkwan frowned. Sure, it wasn’t hard to give the guy a epinephrin shot either, but it pissed him off when people came into the ER with things that were completely avoidable.

“You know, some people think that allergies are mostly psychological.” Seokmin added while they both stopped in front of the apartment door, ringing the doorbell. Seungkwan could only look at the other with the most incredulous stare he could manage.

“Well, those people can shove peanuts right up their- Hyung!” Seungkwan called, watching Jisoo opening the door to the apartment. The older quickly froze, as if caught red handed, though he relaxed once he saw the two of them.

“Hey guys.” Jisoo smiled warmly, slightly closing the door behind him. “I’m glad you could make it, are you sure you have some time?”

“Yeah, we just finished the last class of the day.” Seokmin nodded.

“If by class you mean watching the most boring ER session ever…” Seungkwan muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Come on, Kwannie, I doubt the ER could ever be boring.” Jisoo chuckled. The older was a few years ahead of them, already having started his internships. They had met in one of the classes where he worked as an assistant professor, and the three had quickly bonded. Seungkwan felt thankful towards him. His hyung could be a bit embarrassing sometimes with his humor, but he helped them around a lot.

“Well, I’m sure whatever you wanna ask us will be better.” Seungkwan reasoned. “So what is it?”

“Alright,” The older licked his lips. “You trust me, right?”

The younger two looked between each other in confusion, but nodded nonetheless. “Of course, hyung.” Seokmin stated.

“And I trust you.” Jisoo added. “So whatever happens in there, you gotta promise me you won’t tell anyone, alright?” He pleaded, expression gentle but tone firm.

“…Please tell me you didn’t kill anyone.” Seungkwan frowned, wondering why the other was being so mysterious.

“I didn’t–“ Jisoo quickly replied before being interrupted.

“Did you make a Frankenstein from the morgue?” Seokmin suddenly asked, brows raised.

“Oh God, please, no Frankenstein. I can’t deal with that shit hyung, I was _not_ build for that.” Seugkwan shook his head quickly, to which Jisoo only sighed.

“ _Language_.” The oldest corrected before his shoulders slumped. “Just, get in there.” He was quick to shove the two of them into the apartment, following them inside before quickly locking the door behind them.

Seungkwan quickly scanned the room for any reanimated limbs, but instead he found about fourguys standing around in the living room. Seungkwan had never been to Jisoo’s apartment, and he was sure Seokmin hadn’t either, so it was a surprise to see so many people around. Did they live here as well?

“Uh, hi?” The younger smiled awkwardly before looking back at Jisoo. “Hyung, exactly how many people are taking care of your apartment while you’re traveling?”

“Is that what you told them?” One of the guys asked, the one with round eyes and big ears.

“Well, I had to tell them something.” Jisoo reasoned. “Plus, it’s not a complete lie. Someone needs to take care of you while I’m out.”

“Wait, wait,” Seokmin raised his hands a bit as if to ask them to slow down. “You want us to take care of… Them?”

“What exactly is going on here?” Seungkwan demanded, not in the mood for games. “‘Cause no offense hyung, but they seem like grown ass men who can take care of themselves. Well, except for him.” He then gestured to the shorter looking one with slightly long hair, who let out an insulted “Hey!”

“No, it’s not– calm down.” Jisoo took a deep breath. “These are my friends, my roommates.” He decided to introduce them first, which did make Seungkwan feel a bit calmer. “That’s Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Jihoon, and Soonyoung. The rest isn’t here right now.”

“Rest?” Seungkwan raised a brow. “How many roommates do you have?”

“Too many.” The shortest one, Jihoon, muttered.

“I’m Seokmin, nice to meet you!” The taller announced happily, bowing his head. Bless his positivity. “And this is Seungkwan.” Seungkwan did the same, though he still felt a bit lost.

“Nice to meet you too.” Seungcheol smiled. “Jisoo’s talked a lot about you.”

“Really?” Seungkwan blinked, honestly surprised. He felt close to his hyung, but with so many friends, he wasn’t sure Jisoo would feel the same. It was nice to know that he did.

“Mmh, he says you’re good friends.” Jeonghan nodded with a playful grin. Seungkwan wasn’t sure if he was teasing or if it was simply his regular smile.

“Han, you’re embarrassing them.” Jisoo groaned, standing between the two of them now. They weren’t using any honorifics, so Seungkwan assumed they were the same age.

“No no, please tell us more about how much hyung loves us.” Seungkwan shook his head quickly, eager to hear.

“Yes, we’d love to hear it.” Seokmin added with a bright smile, both the youngest standing close to each other now.

Jeonghan simply laughed at Jisoo’s embarrassment, his eyes shining a bit more. “I like them already.” Seungkwan wasn’t sure why that made him feel so warm.

“Can we just get to the point?” Jisoo pleaded, looking at Seungcheol.

“Yeah, he’s right.” The dark haired nodded, looking at the youngsters now. “As Jisoo said, he’s our roommate, but it’s not just that.” He explained. “He helps us out, too.”

“Help you out with what?” Seokmin stole the question he was about to ask.

“Doctor things.” Jeonghan clarified then.

“But, hyung’s not a doctor.” Seungkwan frowned a bit. “Not yet, at least.”

“Yeah, we know that.” Soonyoung now spoke up. “But we can’t afford an actual doctor. No offense, hyung.” He added as he looked at Jisoo, but the other didn’t seem to take offense.

“So you just, act like their doctor?” Seokmin asked, brows furrowing together as well.

“Yeah, kind of.” Jisoo nodded. “When they get hurt, injured, all that, I help them out.”

Seungkwan snorted then. “Do they get hurt that often?”

“You’d be surprised.” Soonyoung chuckled, though for some reason that just made Seungkwan more scared. There was nothing wrong with helping a friend out, but they were making it seem like it was such a big deal.

“We have a certain… Line of work,” Seungcheol began. “That grants us a few inconveniences. Sometimes it’s a sprained ankle, sometimes it’s a broken finger…”

“And sometimes it’s a stab to the stomach.” Jihoon put it simply, making Seungkwan widen his eyes.

“Jihoon!” Jisoo reprimanded, though the other shrugged.

“You were all taking too long.” He rolled his eyes before looking at the two guests now. “We do illegal shit, and sometimes we get hurt. Jisoo helps us out ‘cause, like Soon said, we can’t afford a doctor, and he’s our friend. But he’s spending three weeks in America and he wants to make sure someone can help us out in case we get hurt.” The rest of the three groaned in unison, probably displeased that the boy simple spilled it out.

“Okay.” Seokmin blinked before smiling brightly. “We can do it.”

“Wait–“ Seungkwan’s eyes widened, even more as he looked back at his friend. “You’re saying yes? Just like that?!”

“What?” Seokmin raised a brow, innocence too evident in his eyes. “Hyung does it, so it should be fine.”

“It’s not- That isn’t- That’s not how things work!” Seungkwan let out, frustrated. He loved Seokmin, he really did, the boy was a dear and he’d protect him to the ends of the Earth. But he was not about to get himself stabbed because of his friend’s larger than life heart.

“What did you mean by illegal things?” Seungkwan questioned, brow raised at the others.

“Well, we do bad things for good results.” Seungcheol explained, though Seungkwan gave him a look that showed him he wasn’t buying it. “We hack, we rob people, but we only do it to bad people.”

“You don’t even need to be involved.” Soonyoung reassured them, nodding quickly.

“But we’d still be helping.” Seungkwan insisted. “What if you get caught? What if we get arrested? We’d lose any opportunity of ever becoming a doctor. Or anything.” He pointed out what to him was the obvious.

“It’s a good way to study, though.” Jisoo reasoned, and Seungkwan couldn’t believe he was actually saying that.

“Jisoo-hyung has been doing it too, it can’t be that dangerous.” Seokmin added now, blinking.

“You’re on their side?” Seungkwan frowned, begging his friend to see the right side of things.

“Well, no, I mean, I just think it’d be cool.” Seokmin smiled warmly. “Plus, they seem nice.”

“Everyone seems nice to you!” Seungkwan groaned, tugging on his own hair a bit.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine.” Jeonghan announced, trying to calm them down. “If he doesn’t wanna do it, it’s okay.” Seungkwan watched him nudging their friend, who was soon sharing a look with Seungcheol as well. He didn’t trust that look.

“He’s right, we can’t force you.” Jisoo sighed, pushing his hair back. “It’s such a shame though.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have brought him over.” Seungcheol tutted.

“What do you mean?” Seungkwan frowned, trying to understand what the three were up to.

“Now you know where we live.” Jeonghan reasoned. “And what we do. It’s a shame, really. I was really starting to like you.”

Seungkwan gulped, wetting his lips. “Haha, very funny.” He chuckled awkwardly, stepping back when the bulkier one began moving forward.

“Don’t take it personally, we just can’t have anyone talking, you know?” Seungcheol explained as he stepped closer, and Seungkwan sent a pleading look to his best friend. Unfortunately, Seokmin was as intuitive as a rock.

“B-But I won’t talk! I never talk! I swear, I’m the quietest guy in this room.” Seungkwan almost threw something at Seokmin when he heard the boy stifling a laugh.

He continued moving back, trying to open the door behind him, but it seemed locked. Great, he was screwed. He had pissed off the head of a gang and now he’d go out mafia style. Or at least have his mouth sewed shut.

“I promise! I don’t have anyone to tell, I live alone!” He pleaded, almost flinching when Seungcheol reached out to him. “FINE! Fine, I’ll help, just please don’t hurt me!” He whined, eyes closed shit as he pressed back against the door.

“…Awesome.” Seungcheol patted him strongly on the shoulder, Seungkwan opening his eyes hesitantly. They were smiling. Well, most of them. Jihoon and Jeonghan seemed to be having a hard time keeping their laughter under control. “Welcome to the group.”

His knees were still trembling as the older guided him to the couch in the living room, Seokmin following them with a bounce to his step.

What the hell had just happened?

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 12 / 2015_

 

“This is when we were watching the snow, and this is when her hair was looking all weird…” Mingyu continued, flipping through the pictures in his phone. “And this is when she broke my phone.” Seokmin and Minghao snickered, both sitting on each of Mingyu’s sides. Seungkwan and Hansol stood behind them, perched on the back of the couch, while Wonwoo on the arm chair with an open book.

“I’m starting to think your family has a personal vendetta against phones.” Minghao grinned, immune to Mingyu’s glare.

“Well, at least she meant to break it. It’s not like it was an accident.” Seokmin reasoned, eyebrows up.

“Kyeom, that doesn’t make it any better for me.” Mingyu pouted, showing off the crack that travelled across his screen. Given the amount of damage Seungkwan had seen Mingyu cause on other things, he honestly thought the crack wasn’t that bad.

“You know you can buy another one, right?” Wonwoo pointed out, glancing over his book.

“Yeah hyung, you really shouldn’t get emotionally attached to your things, considering how long they last.” Seungkwan added, stifling a chuckle at the look of Mingyu’s frown.

“You’re all as bad as her, you know that?” The boy complained, putting his phone away in his pocket.

“That’s why I approve of her, she seems cool.” Minghao nodded, a playful smirk still on his lips. “Cooler than you, at least.”

“She is.” Wonwoo butted in before Mingyu could complain, only managing to get a whine through.

“You know her?” Hansol wondered, looking over at the other.

“Yeah.” The older replied with a shrug. “Our families know each other, so I’ve known them since we were kids.”

That’s right, Seungkwan sometimes forgot about that. “That’s not fair, we should get to meet her too.” He pouted, lightly slapping the back of Mingyu’s head.

“Hey!” The taller complained, looking back at him. “You’re not meeting her. The last thing I need is all of you in the same room dissing me.”

“Actually that sounds like a lot of fun.” Minghao commented, yet again amused by Mingyu’s suffering. Seungkwan doubted he’d ever understand those two.

“Come on! I always wanted a sister, so at least let me meet yours.” Seungkwan frowned, crossing his arms.

“That’s shitty reasoning.” Mingyu frowned, tilting his head back to look up at him. That only got his forehead poked, though.

“I don’t care. It’s bad enough we didn’t even know about Jeonghan’s sister until recently.” The younger pouted. It’s like they were all hiding their siblings from him. He was great with kids, so why would they want to deprive him of that?

“Actually, that’s probably a good thing.” Wonwoo reasoned, lifting a brow. “Jihoonie said she’s basically the teenage girl version of Jeonghan. Even Cheol-hyung is scared of her.”

“Oh God, don’t tell me there’s two of them on this Earth.” Minghao groaned, annoyed.

“What about Hansol’s sister? Ask him. He could bring her over.” Mingyu reasoned, looking over at their American friend. Said friend quickly looked up from his own phone now like a deer caught in headlights.

“Haha, no.” Hansol quickly denied, with fake amusement and clear sarcasm.

“Why not?” Seungkwan’s pout intensified as he grabbed his friend’s arm, shaking him a bit.

“I’m not bringing Sofia here. If it’s up to me none of you are meeting her. Ever.” Vernon insisted with a frown.

“When you put it like that it’s like you’re embarrassed of us.” Seokmin pointed out, blinking in surprise.

“Well, I am, but it’s not because of that.” Hansol reasoned.

“Then what is it? You afraid she’s gonna diss your or something?” Minghao asked, taking Mingyu’s example.

“No, Sofia is a little angel.” Hansol answered with far too much pride and a fond smile. “I just don’t trust any of you.”

“Dude, isn’t she like 10? We’re not gonna hit on her or anything.” Mingyu pointed out with a disgusted frown.

“Gross, I know that. And she’s 13.” Hansol replied with a matching expression. “She’s just easily impressionable, and none of you are good enough to be around her.”

Seungkwan couldn’t help chuckling at that. He was still mad that Hansol wouldn’t let them meet her, and he certainly intended to change his mind, but this was cute. Seeing how protective he was of her. A different protective than Seungcheol was of Chan, yet still just as intense.

“Excuse you?” Minghao raised a brow, now clearly offended. “First of all, we’re way better than you. Second of all, what sort of impression do you have of us?”

“Honestly?” Hansol blinked, tilting his head. His hands were once again on the back of the couch as he used it as leverage to sway back and forth. “You’re rude as hell. Not to mention your temper. I mean it’s fun, but she’s just a young girl.”

“I wouldn’t be like that with _her_.” Minghao crossed his arms, clearly not happy with how easily Hansol had insulted him.

“Wonwoo-hyung is smart but his dad jokes are way too much. Sofia needs a more refined sense of humor.” Hansol frowned slightly as he continued. “Not to mention you got that inner dictator thing that I don’t trust.”

“My humor is refined, you buffoons are just too dumb to get it.” Wonwoo defended, though the younger just ignored him.

“Mingyu-hyung is nice, and he can cook, but you break too many things, hyung, and I can’t risk her safety.” Hansol reasoned, and Seungkwan could honestly get behind that. “Plus, you’re too pretty.”

“It’s not on purpose!” Mingyu whined, as he always did. Seungkwan wondered why he didn’t just make a recording of that already just to play it over whenever he actually broke something.

“And Seokmin-hyung is really nice too, but he’s a bit too nice.” Hansol concluded, pursing his lips.

“Too nice?” Seokmin blinked, clearly unsure if he should be offended or not.

“Do you see that as a bad thing? He’s the fucking sunshine.” Minghao defended, apparently insulted on his friend’s behalf.

“No, but I don’t trust anyone who’s too nice.” Hansol pointed out, eyes squinting a bit. “And he’s way too innocent. Sorry hyung, I need someone who can protect her from second intentions.” Seungkwan wondered how this had gone from meeting his sister to considering possible future husbands.

“Then what about Boo?” Mingyu raised a brow, looking between the two.

This was it, this was what Seungkwan had prepared for. And by prepared for, he meant thought about it in the last 5 minutes. He was ready to stake his claim, to defend himself of any accusations, so Hansol would have absolutely no reason to not let him meet his sister.

“Eh, Kwanie is fine.” Hansol shrugged then, looking over at his friend.

“Wait a second, I-“ Seungkwan was even raising a finger when he paused, mouth still open mid-speech. “Fine?” Had he heard that right?

“Yeah.” Hansol hummed, nodding a couple of times.

“You mean everyone else has something wrong, but Seungkwan is perfect?” Mingyu frowned now, apparently more insulted than before.

“I didn’t say he was perfect, I said he was fine.” Hansol corrected him, standing up straight. “He’s nice, he’s a bit over the top but not too much, so it’s funny. And he’s very caring, so I know she’d be in good hands. I think Sofia would like him.” He concluded, before adding with a frown. “But not too much.”

“You heard him, I’m perfect!” Seungkwan bragged with a wide grin, throwing his arms over the other’s shoulder and pulling him into a hug. “So when do I get to meet her?”

Hansol snorted, trying to pull away from him. “You’re still not meeting her.”

“But you said she’d like me!” Seungkwan complained, pulling back.

“Yes. So in case she’d ever have to meet any of you, in circumstances I had absolutely no say in it, I’d rather it’d be you.” Hansol explained, though it still wasn’t good enough for him.

"Mark my words, Hansol." Seungkwan frowned, determination showing in the way he poked his friend’s chest. “I _am_ meeting your sister."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always say it because I mean it, thank you so so much for all the nice comments and kudos!!  
> Reading your comments make me want to write even more and gives me so much inspiration, really, thank you.
> 
> I was really wanting to show a bit more vernon's and booseok's(?) backstory 'cause I felt like it'd be a good balance between serious and funny. ~~if I managed to make it funny~~ Plus it felt really refreshing to write things in their point of view, since I don't do it very often.  
>  I'm still wondering if I should do some side fics to deepen a few characters, or if I should just put it all in his fic. On one hand, I feel like there's no need to rush and it's nice to go into the different pasts and relationships in this one fic. On the other hand, I'm afraid it might become too massive or tiring. So I'm still thinking on that. Feel free to let me know what you think!
> 
> Also, like I always say, I read these things before posting but I ALWAYS miss a typo or something. So if you find a mistake please don't be afraid to point it out, it'd help me a lot!!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~And guess what Seventeen's comeback is scheduled for my birthday and I feel both honored and very frustrated because I have no money~~


	17. It’s alright, these things happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m on my way out–“ Mingyu paused in the middle of his announcement, almost bumping into someone else with the door half closed behind him. “Oh, sorry.”
> 
> “Mingyu?” The man asked, and only now did the taller take a proper look at him, eyes also widening at the sight.
> 
> “Kookie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me like 2 weeks for this slightly underwhelming chapter-

 

_\-- / 06 / 2016_

 

“Woozi, are you in yet?” Wonwoo asked through the intercom, right as Jihoon closed the door behind them. The room itself seemed to consists of shades of silvery blues, with computers covering almost an entire wall and a long desk in front of it.

“We’re in.” The shorter answered, locking the same door while Mingyu placed the briefcase over the desk. “You know you could’ve just looked at the screen, right?”

“I was making sure Hoshi wasn’t fucking up.” The other hacker replied as if it was routine.

They were trying something new this time. Wonwoo wasn’t in the best condition to go into the field, given his stomach flu, so the two hackers decided to trade places. It wasn’t Jihoon’s first time going into a job, but it had certainly been a while. He enjoyed staying at home, watching them through the screens. He felt like he was more useful like that, had more of a chance of helping.

“Hey!” The thief complained loudly, making Jihoon wince. “I was doing just fine, excuse you.”

“You almost broke a five hundred thousand won vase.” Wonwoo corrected him with barely any change in his voice.

“Key word, _almost_.” Soonyoung pointed out. It almost felt weird, being on the spectator side of bickering with Soonyoung. Jihoon wasn’t at all jealous, though.

“Can we get back to what matters?” Jihoon could hear Seungcheol sighing on the other end, and couldn’t help the smirk that took over his lips. He had told the leader this wouldn’t be easy.

“Yeah, we just need to set up the machine and connect it to their main computer, that way I can hack into it.” Jihoon explained as he turned to look at Mingyu, who for some reason was standing in front of the briefcase with a weird looking half grin.

“So…” The younger started. Oh no. Jihoon knew that look. That look that came with headaches and premature grey hairs.

That look meant Mingyu had screwed up.

“What did you break?” Jihoon huffed, pushing his hair back. The sooner they took care of it, the sooner they could go back to work.

“Nothing!” Mingyu protested, looking mildly insulted. Jihoon had no idea why, given it was a totally reasonable assumption. “I just… Can’t open the briefcase.”

The hacker frowned at that, the fingers in his hair stopping midway. “What do you mean, you can’t open the briefcase? Just put in the damn combination.”

“I did!” Mingyu pointed out, a slight pout forming on his lips. No, that look wouldn’t work on him. Maybe on Seokmin, but definitely not on him. “But it’s not opening.”

“Mingyu, it’s a combination lock. That’s how it works!” Jihoon exclaimed, gripping at his own hair a bit before letting go.

“I know!” Mingyu groaned. “But it’s not working!”

“Are you sure you put in the right numbers?” The shorter pushed passed him to get to the silver briefcase, looking at the numbers. “What were the numbers?”

“I’m positive!” Mingyu pouted once again, picking at his own sleeves. “It’s 711.”

“You chose the combination after a damn convenience store?” Jihoon frowned, rolling the numbers before putting in the same combination again, wondering if something had just jammed the previous time. Unfortunately, it still wasn’t working.

“Convenience store…? Oh, I hadn’t realized.” Mingyu admitted with a blink.

“How did you not– Ugh, never mind, don’t answer.” Jihoon groaned, rubbing at his own temples. It was coming for him, the headache. “Wonwoo, how do I open this?”

They were both hackers, but gadgets were Wonwoo’s specialty. That’s why he was the one to go on missions so often. Jihoon was usually better at sticking with codes.

“Well, you could try putting in every possible combination.” Wonwoo suggested, and foolishly, Mingyu did just as he was told. Jihoon didn’t stop him. If he wanted to waste his time, that was his choice.

“We don’t have 2 hours.” The shorter hacker pointed out with exhaustion in his voice. This is why he preferred staying at home. Not laziness, not fear, just much more control.

“I can’t hack into a briefcase, Woozi.” Wonwoo replied, knowing Jihoon already knew that. “Even if I was there, that thing is top of the line theft proof. There’s not much we can do.”

“There must be something.” It was Seungcheol who spoke now, their main voice of reason. “Hoshi, The8, how do we open that thing?”

“Knock Mingyu’s dumb head against it.” Minghao provided, and if Jihoon wasn’t so annoyed at the moment he’d probably laugh.

“Not helping.” Mingyu pointed out grumpily as he continued to try other combinations.

“Might be worth a try.” Jihoon admitted with a slight smirk, the taller’s glare only adding to his smugness.

The hacker decided to sit down on the comfortable desk chair now, sprawling out. What? It wasn’t like standing up would help them much more.

“Is there a paperclip or something nearby?” Soonyoung asked and Jihoon rolled closer to the desk to check for any open drawers. He was only successful on the third try.

“I found safety pins.” The hacker provided, grabbing a handful and placing it on the desk.

“Alright, that should work.” The thief sounded positive, though that wasn’t an uncommon thing with Soonyoung. Still, it didn’t stop being helpful. “You’re gonna have to try to pick the lock. It’s kinda tricky, but you know how a lock works, right? You’ll have to push each roll until–“

“HA!” Jihoon almost jumped at Mingyu’s shouting, eyes wide.

“Dude, what the hell!?” The hacker reprimanded with a frown, though Mingyu continued to grin widely.

Instead of answering, the younger turned the briefcase towards him, opening and closing it repeatedly. Wait, it was open?

“What the hell!?” Jihoon repeated, and maybe his eyes were bulging out when he looked up at Mingyu, but he didn’t care. “How did you do that?”

“I guessed the right combination!” Mingyu grinned proudly as they heard the choruses of “What happened?” in their ears.

“We opened the case!” Jihoon let out with relief, getting up from the chair.

“ _I_ opened the case.” Mingyu corrected him, getting a glare from the shorter.

“Yes, but you also wasted like half our time. You don’t get to gloat.” Call him evil, but he felt a bit of satisfaction when he saw the smugness leave the other’s eyes.

“Just get that machine running already, you don’t have much time.” Wonwoo pointed out, and the shorter hacker got to work.

“Calm down, I’m working on it.” Jihoon grunted, plugging the USB to the machine on the wall. “Don’t need to be so pissy.”

“You mean like you are at every job?” Wonwoo snickered, making the frown between Jihoon’s eyes grow tighter.

“I’m not _that_ bad.” Jihoon protested.

“Yes you are.” They all answered in unison, including Mingyu, who stood next to him. Given he couldn’t hit every single one of them at the moment, he settled for throwing a punch at the other’s arm, getting a whine in return.

Okay, so maybe there was one advantage to working in the field.

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 01 / 2016_

 

Despite all setbacks, all minor incidents, no one could deny Mingyu was good at what he did. Perhaps he wasn’t a great fighter, and definitely not a hacker, but Mingyu could charm the hell out of anyone if necessary. Not exactly a perfect liar, like Jeonghan. Mingyu was more of that guy no one could say no to. He knew how to behave in social gatherings, knew how to play whichever part he was given. Jeonghan had once claimed it was his puppy eyes, they were impossible to refuse. Whatever it was, it made him perfect for their current job.

The young male had become quite close to the host of the large party in a matter of days, and now, the day of the big event, Mingyu had managed to gain access to his personal office. He simply claimed he had a bad headache, needed to take something and lie down for a bit. The man, ever so fond of him, had granted him the keys without another question.

“Guys, I’m getting some interference on my signal.” Jihoon spoke through the radio, “How long ‘till we get the card?”

“Getting it.” Mingyu provided, finally finding the access card in the bottom drawer of the man’s desk. “Piece of cake.” He smirked, holding up the white plastic card before slipping into the inner pocket of his navy suit.

“Oh, we should get cake after this.” Hansol suddenly spoke through.

“Dude, seriously?” Wonwoo reprimanded, and for once Mingyu enjoyed not being on the other side of things.

“What? I can’t control my hunger.” Vernon defended, almost making Mingyu snicker as he left the office.

“I’m on my way out–“ Mingyu paused in the middle of his announcement, almost bumping into someone else with the door half closed behind him. “Oh, sorry.”

“Mingyu?” The man asked, and only now did the taller take a proper look at him, eyes also widening at the sight.

“Kookie?” Mingyu sputtered, quickly closing the door behind him while trying not to look suspicious. “What– I mean, Jungkook, hi, uh, what are you doing here?” The taller gulped, managing a grin as he tried to act normal. He could already imagine Minghao asking if he was even able to do that. Great, now he could even hear him in his head.

“Uh, hi, yeah, I mean, I was invited.” The boy nodded, clearing his throat. Mingyu wasn’t sure if it was just his awkwardness or if something was going on. At some point in their lives he could’ve easily told, given how close the two had been. However, he hadn’t seen the other in years.

“Oh yeah, me too.” Mingyu nodded as well, wetting his lips. “So how’ve you been?”

Part of him was just trying to make conversation, buying some time to slide a bit further away from the door to look less suspicious. Yet the rest of him was genuinely interested. Jungkook had changed a lot, without a doubt. He looked taller, stronger too, certainly carrying himself with more confidence.

“Oh, good, actually.” His old friend grinned with his two front teeth bigger than the rest, and Mingyu had recognized that smile right away. At least some things hadn’t changed. “Shouldn’t you be at the party?”

“Ah, yeah, I was just getting a thing. Some things, I mean.” The tallest chuckled, scratching the back of his neck.

“Guys, something’s wrong.” Woozi announced, getting Mingyu’s attention though he tried not to look distracted. “Shit, this is weird. The interference is coming from somewhere else.”

“What do you mean somewhere else?” Mingyu was glad Chan was asking the questions he couldn’t.

“We should head back now.” Mingyu suggested, patting Jungkook’s shoulder. The other was still smiling, yet he eyed him in a weird manner.

“Yeah, sure.” The smaller agreed. “I just need to grab something in there.”

“In there?” Mingyu blinked, suppressing a wince as Jihoon almost shouted in their ears.

“Fuck! They’re trying to hack us.” The hacker threw out a few more curses.

“How the hell? He’s at the party.” Seungcheol grunted.

“Not him, someone else. Shit, I can’t keep an eye on you while they– Fuck, who the hell is this guy?” Mingyu gulped, worrying for himself and their friends as he held onto Jungkook’s elbow.

“Actually, could you take me back first? I’m not feeling great.” Mingyu pleaded with a small smile. He wasn’t sure what Jungkook wanted in that room, but he felt like he needed to get the boy out of there too.

“You just said you were good… Is something up?” The younger frowned a bit, but Mingyu didn’t get a chance to answer.

“…Shit, guys,” Jihoon’s voice was lower, yet it seemed to carry more weight than ever. “It’s Bangtan.”

“Bangtan!?” Someone let out.

“Wha– How do you know?” Jungkook’s eyes were wide as he pulled his arm back. Wait, how did he…?

 _Oh fuck_ , Mingyu cursed mentally as he realized he was the one who actually said it. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Uh, how do I know what?” He tried to play it cool, yet he was sure the sweat on his temple sold him out.

“You just said Bangtan!” The younger let out, though he quickly lowered his voice.

“I didn’t– Wait,” They were both whisper shouting at that point. “How do you know about Bangtan?”

“I-I don’t!” Jungkook stuttered, his acting worse than Mingyu’s.

“Then why are you freaking out!?” Mingyu pointed out, watching as the other looked around them.

“I’m not! You are– Shit, we gotta go.” The younger grit his teeth, grabbing Mingyu by the forearm with a strength he didn’t think he had.

“Wait, what? Why?” Mingyu frowned, reluctantly following the other.

“No reason!” Jungkook groaned, still pulling him along through the hallway.

“Jungkook!” Mingyu complained, pulling his arm back.

“Ugh, fine!” The younger gave in, pausing to look back at the other. He looked torn, annoyed, and partly worried. “We set up explosives and they’re about to go off in two minutes.”

“What?!” Mingyu let out, and this time he ran with Jungkook as his friend pulled on his arm. “Wait, we? You’re in Bangtan!?”

“That’s not the point right now!” Jungkook complained while the two ran out the fire exit, down the staircase.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The taller insisted, panting.

“How was I supposed to tell you?” Jungkook groaned. “Hey, long time no see, by the way, I’m in the biggest illegal gang in the country?”

Mingyu scoffed, not pleased by the other’s attitude. “You’re _not_ the biggest gang.”

“We kinda are.” Jungkook grinned smugly, another part of him that Mingyu easily recognized. He wished he could’ve left that part behind, though. “What about you? How did you know about us?” The younger accused as they ran for the exit.

“Nu-uh, this is my turn to ask questions– Hey!” Mingyu grunted as he knocked into his friend, causing them both to tumble out of the building face first onto the sidewalk.

“Ow, fuck, dude!” Jungkook complained, rolling out from underneath him.

“You shouldn’t stop at the door.” Mingyu pointed out, pushing himself up with a groan and dusting himself off.

“Hurry up, you idiot!” He suddenly looked up to see Minghao waiting in one of the cars, the motor running already and the door open for him. In their rush, Mingyu hadn’t even heard the others in the intercom.

“Coming.” Mingyu announced, though he stopped halfway there when he heard Jungkook groan. As he looked back, his friend was struggling to get up, not letting his right foot down on the ground. Shit.

Without a second thought, Mingyu rushed back to him, pulling Jungkook’s arm over his shoulders and helping him up. “Come on.”

“Dude, what the hell?” Minghao frowned as his friend helped the other into the backseat of the car.

“He’s hurt.” Mingyu explained, and he knew Minghao was about to protest, so he gave him no time to do so. “Just drive, I’ll explain later.”

 

 

——

 

2013

 

Alright, Jeonghan wanted to get something straight: he didn’t usually fuck up. In fact, he was one of the few of them who practically never fucked up, along with Jihoon. However, as much as he’d deny it, he wasn’t perfect. And today was one of those days where he wasn’t feeling exactly perfect.

So okay, maybe he let his feelings get the best of him. And _maybe_ he punched someone he shouldn’t have. That someone actually being their target, who he was supposed to befriend and collect information from. And perhaps that resulted in a small fight between Jeonghan and the guy’s bodyguard that eventually got him kicked out of the premises.

Fine, he did fuck up.

“You can’t pull that shit, Han. Are you crazy?!” Seungcheol scolded as they got to the apartment, the culprit quickly greeted by Jisoo who held an ice pack out for him. Count on him to be the calm _during_ the storm, in this case.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan pointed out with a scowl, holding the cold plastic bag against the bruise blooming on his cheek. “I get it, okay? I screwed up.”

“This isn’t just screwing up,” The leader frowned, turning to face him as they both stood in the loving room now.

Soonyoung followed them inside while Chan and Samuel waited on the couch, none of them saying a word. Jihoon himself had come out of his room to greet them, yet he didn’t go past the door.

“This is more than fucking something up, Han. What were you thinking? This isn’t like you.” His friend continued, his frown laced with something Jeonghan could easily mistake for sadness.

“I wasn’t thinking, that’s the point.” Jeonghan clenched his jaw, feeling the ache on his left side. He wasn’t a bad fighter, but he seriously needed to learn how to block. “I’ll fix this, okay? I’ll find another way to get what we need.”

“This isn’t about what we need!” Seungcheol blurted out, hands almost gripping at his own hair before he took a deep breath. “You could’ve gotten seriously hurt. You did get hurt! You can’t pull this shit without thinking, Han.”

He knew that. He knew Seungcheol was just concerned and he had a shit way of showing it sometimes, but Jeonghan wasn’t great at being reasonable, either. Not when his nerves were already on edge and his mind was more of a mess than it usually was.

“It’s not that big of a deal, Cheol. It’s not like I’ve never been hit before.” Jeonghan pointed out bitterly, and now he knew it was sadness that he could spot in Seungcheol’s eyes. He should apologize, he took it too far, still he didn’t.

“ _Han_.” Seungcheol warned, or pleaded, the younger didn’t know which. His friend was usually so easy to read, yet now Jeonghan felt like he was trying to read greek.

“I’m gonna wash up.” Jeonghan concluded, not giving space for more conversation before he headed to their shared bedroom to get some clothes. Thankfully, no one seemed to try to make him stay.

He felt like shit, in a way he hadn’t in a while. And not because of the bruises, either. They weren’t much, just a growing purple-ish red on his cheek and jaw, and some scrapes on his knuckles for fighting back. They were nothing.

He felt like shit for screwing up, for losing control of himself, and for lashing out like that. But he was selfish and he couldn’t apologize, not now. Seungcheol was selfless, he’d probably apologize soon enough with a lowered gaze and regret written on his skin. The thought only made Jeonghan hate himself even more, because he knew he’d ever deserve a friend like that. Yet that was the thing about being selfish. Even though he knew he didn’t deserve him, he still wanted him, still clung to him, like a parasite.

Oh god, he was really down the self pity road today. What the hell was wrong with him?

Jeonghan had already selected the clothes he wanted to wear, yet they were just thrown on the bed along with himself. The boy sighed, sitting with his back against the headboard and his face hidden in his palms, elbows resting on his knees. He didn’t even look up when he heard the hinges of the door squeaking, though surprised Seungcheol would come to talk so soon.

“Han?” Maybe not Seungcheol, then.

Jeonghan licked his lips, looking up from his palms to watch as Jisoo approached him with a small white plastic box. “What’s up, Doc?” He joked lamely, yet thankfully the other granted him a small smile.

His friend sat on the edge of the bed, next to him. He opened the box, getting out some cotton pads and a clear solution. “Hands?” He asked and Jeonghan granted, giving him his right hand first.

“Sorry about all that.” Jeonghan mumbled after a few moments of Joshua wiping the blood off his knuckles. It stung, but the gentleness in which he held him made up for it, somehow.

“It’s fine, kind of refreshing after so much of Soonhoon’s bickering.” Jisoo admitted with a light shrug.

“Soonhoon?” Jeonghan raised a brow, partially confused.

“Soonyoung and Jihoon.” Jisoo grinned, and Jeonghan couldn’t help grinning as well. “Soonyoung came up with it, believe it or not.”

“Oh, I believe it.” The older hummed, handing him his left hand now as Jisoo took out more clean pads.

While he cleaned, they didn’t talk. Silence hung between them, yet it was comfortable, almost warming up the air around them. Jisoo didn’t need to speak a word to make Jeonghan feel more open, more bare, and it comforted him as much as it freaked him out.

“You know he was only worried, right?” Jisoo finally asked as he finished wiping his knuckles, not yet letting go. Jeonghan didn’t pull back, either.

“I know.” Jeonghan sighed, using his free hand to push back his hair. “I just… I was angry, I wasn’t thinking. And he worries too much, too.”

“He worries enough.” Jisoo corrected him, tone firmer than Jeonghan was used to. “I may not know you for as long as he does, but I know it takes a lot to set you off.” The younger continued, eyes now piercing into Jeonghan’s. But instead of sharp, they were soft. Instead of threatening, they were disarming.

“I…” Jeonghan’s lips parted before pressing together again, and he hated it, he hated how vulnerable he sounded. “It’s people like him who break families.”

Joshua didn’t argue now, but his forehead frowned in confusion, as if asking Jeonghan to continue. So he did.

“People like him, who ask for thousands from people who barely have dozens. People who make promises and give fake hope, only to take it all away and more.” He owned a gambling ring. A pristine looking place that was nothing more than a overly fancy toilet in which people flushed down their money.

“He takes pleasure in it, Shua.” Jeonghan missed the way his own brows frowned at the memory. “He said it himself. How funny it is to watch people bet it all away. How stupid they look, thinking they have a shot.”

“Han…” Unlike Seungcheol’s, Jisoo’s voice was smoother than honey, prompting him instead of stopping him.

“I know my stepfather was no saint, but It’s people like him that broke us apart.” Jeonghan wet his lips around the words that were begging to leave. “It’s because of people like him that I can’t go home.” He smiled small, bitterly, fingers twitching around the other’s hand.

Jisoo wrapped his hand tighter around his, his thumb brushing over the bruised knuckles, yet it still didn’t hurt. It almost gave him stability, something Jeonghan didn’t know he needed.

“Did you at least get a good hit?” The younger questioned with a small curve to his lips, lightening the mood.

“Right hook, right under the jaw. Think I broke a tooth or two.” Jeonghan grinned proudly, glad the other didn’t seem that upset at him. It was bad enough he had upset Seungcheol.

The student reached for the ice pack that was thrown over the sheets, shifting to pull away. “Alright, I’ll keep this in the freezer while you shower.”

As Jeonghan felt the other’s hand slipping away, he held tighter, against his better judgement and with a clogged throat. “Wait!” He blurted out, unsure why, tho it did make Jisoo stop midway up. “Just… Can you stay? Just for a little bit…”

The younger seemed surprised, and maybe a bit lost, as if considering too many things at once. And after a few seconds that felt much longer than they should, he sat back down, palm once again against Jeonghan’s as he ran his thumb against the back of his hand. “Okay.” He mumbled softly, not saying another word.

Somewhere inside him, Jeonghan knew this was wrong. Somewhere in his head there was a voice saying he was asking for too much. But as wrong as it was, it felt so right. It felt like it did with Seungcheol, different and yet the same. And that was wrong on its own, the fact that it felt good. Because Jeonghan already had something with Seungcheol, even if he didn’t know what that something was. He didn’t need to look for anything else in anyone else.

Yet there he was, holding onto something he couldn’t name, giving hope where he shouldn’t give. Having hope where he shouldn’t have. There he was, taking far too much when he already had more than he deserved to begin with. But Jeonghan was selfish, and that was the thing about being selfish. He knew he didn’t deserve either of them, yet he still wanted both.

 

 

——

 

 

Honestly, if someone had asked Mingyu what he thought Jungkook would be doing for a living, he’d probably have answered something like the CEO of a company, or even a popular TV star of the sort. Regardless, he’d be successful, since his friend was as hard working as he was stubborn. However, out of all the things Mingyu could’ve imagined him doing, being part of a gang wasn’t one of them. Not that he should be the one to judge.

“Why are you so damn tall?” His friend asked, snapping him out of his reflection.

“It’s not my fault barely grew an inch.” Mingyu had Jungkook’s right arm over his shoulders as he ushered the other to their apartment, Minghao following close behind. Apparently they had been the first ones to get there, given they had all taken different routes.

“It’s your fault I twisted my ankle.” Jungkook pointed out, but Mingyu only groaned.

“It was an accident!” He complained, blinking when the door opened before he could ring the bell.

“By now you should’ve learned that saying that won’t take it back.” Jihoon was the one to greet them, though with crossed arms and a frown. “Though you certainly moved from breaking things to breaking people, that shows improvement.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice as he eyed the two up and down, Jungkook’s eyes a bit too big.

“Dude, I’m having the weirdest déjà vu.” The guest blurted out, causing Jihoon’s right eyebrow to move up in confusion.

“Is he serious?” Their older friend looked back at Mingyu, asking for some sort of explanation, though the younger was as lost as him.

“Maybe his delirious from his injuries– ow!” Mingyu complained as Jungkook punched his side, threatening to drop him in return.

“I hurt my ankle, not my head.” Jungkook pointed out grumpily.

“All the more reason not to baby him.” Minghao added from behind. The younger had been awfully wary of Jungkook since they had first gotten in the car together, even if the other had given him no reason to be. Mingyu blamed it on Minghao’s usual paranoia.

“Just, come in.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, stepping back so the three could join them in the apartment. Thankfully Seokmin was there was well, so perhaps he could help.

“DK, can you check his ankle?” Mingyu asked as he sat down on the couch with his uninvited guest.

“DK? Like Donkey Kong?” Jungkook asked with surprised eyes.

“More like Dokyeom, but Donkey Kong does sound cooler.” Seokmin laughed softly as he sat down on the coffee table in front of them. The fact that the other laughed as well only proved how contagious Seokmin’s mood was.

“Can we get back to what matters?” Minghao frowned, plopping down on the arm chair. Well, contagious to some, at least.

“He’s right.” Jihoon agreed as he stood in front of them, next to Seokmin. “Why’d you never tell us you knew someone in Bangtan?” He questioned, though he didn’t look as angry anymore, maybe confused. As good as Mingyu was on reading people, reading Jihoon was on a totally other level.

“I didn’t _know_ he was in Bangtan.” Mingyu admitted with a slightly involuntary pout.

“He’s right, we hadn’t seen each other in ages.” Jungkook added, defending his friend. Mingyu smiled small at the other, missing the displeased curve on Minghao’s lips.

“You’ll get to talk when I get to you.” Jihoon quickly shut the other up, or tried to.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but I gotta ask,” Jungkook grunted a bit when Seokmin turned his ankle in an odd way, though the boy soon gave him an apologetic smile. “Do you have an older brother?”

“What?” The shorter frowned, arms crossed over his chest once again.

“Like a secret older brother, or a very close cousin.” Jungkook continued, pursing his lips. “Maybe a clone…? I swear to God, you look just like–”

“Are you sure he didn’t hit his head?” Jihoon interrupted with a skeptical gazed aimed at Mingyu.

“You even talk like him!” Jungkook exclaimed, though he quickly shut up under Jihoon’s icy glare. “Sorry.” He mumbled.

“Even if you didn’t know,” Minghao continued, as if he hadn’t even heard the last bit of conversation they were having him. “You shouldn’t have brought him here. How do you know if we can trust him?”

“‘Cause he’s my friend, Hao. I couldn’t just leave him there.” Mingyu replied with patience, but the way Minghao spoke as if the guy wasn’t even there made his jaw clench a bit.

“I thought you hadn’t spoken in ages.” The younger pointed out with a defying gaze.

“That doesn’t mean we’re not friends anymore. I knew him longer than I know you, you know?” Mingyu returned his friend’s glare. Why was Minghao on his tail so much?

“So? He’s from another group, and they almost blew up that place.” The Chinese boy wasn’t raising his voice, but Mingyu could tell he wanted to. “For all we know this could be a part of their plan.”

“So were you, and we still took you in, didn’t we?” Mingyu nudged his chin at his friend. “What is wrong with you today? Can’t you at least trust me when I say we can trust him? We’re not giving him our account numbers for fuck’s sake, we’re just helping him out.”

Mingyu was used to arguing with Minghao, it was practically a daily thing for them, but this was different. Usually they just bickered, argued about silly things, things that in the end they both knew didn’t matter. Yet this felt like Minghao was just being spiteful, like he wanted to get under Mingyu’s skin for some reason. And he was certainly succeeding by insulting his friend.

“Guys,” Seokmin called, his voice loud and clear yet still somehow gentle. “There’s no point arguing about it now. What’s done is done.” And like that, Seokmin had managed to shut both of them up, patting Jungkook’s ankle lightly. “Nothing’s broken, it’s just a sprain, but I’m gonna wrap it up anyway, alright?”

Mingyu’s friend only nodded, the tension in his shoulders easing with Seokmin’s smile. As the former left to get the bandages, Jungkook rubbed at his own neck, sighing. “Look, you can choose to take my word or not, but I cut contact with pretty much everyone I knew when I joined Bangtan. Mingyu included. And we had no idea anyone else would be trying to pull that job, we only found out during the job. Whoever they are, your hacker’s pretty legit.” Jihoon tried to hide it, but Mingyu spotted the smirk pulling at his lips.

“What about the explosives?” Minghao asked, though at least he sounded less snappy.

“It’s our thing, we blow shit up. You know, BANG-tan.” The boy explained as Seokmin returned with the gauze, pulling the end of his pant leg up to start wrapping his ankle.

“That’s stupid.” Mingyu raised a brow, holding back a chuckle.

“Better than Seventeen.” Jungkook pointed out with a daring glare.

“You told them our name?” Jihoon frowned at the younger, and Mingyu felt his brows pulling together.

“He asked!” He defended. “Plus, I kinda busted his ankle, so…”

“Just–“ Jihoon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he muttered something close to ‘this is why I’m not the leader’. “Finish up his ankle and send him off, alright? We’ll talk to Cheol-hyung once he gets here. And you,” He pointed to Jungkook, the boy immediately freezing in his spot even though he was much bigger than the hacker. “We’re choosing to trust you here, so if you try to cross us, I’m breaking your other ankle, get it?” Jungkook only nodded, the four of them staying in the same spot as the hacker left to his office.

“I swear to god, they’re identical.” The visitor whispered to Mingyu, without giving them any more explanation.

 

 

——

 

\-- / 02 / 2017

 

To say Junhui was tall was obvious. Maybe not as tall as Mingyu, but a close second, even though none of them ever bothered measuring them. And to say Jihoon was short was the epitome of obvious, he didn’t argue with that, even if sassy comments were less than welcome. Therefore, when Jihoon was with Jun he should feel shorter. Shorter than he did with almost everyone else, at least. But he didn’t.

He felt like he could stand stall, like he gained a foot in height and a mile in confidence. Maybe it was Jun’s own self confidence that managed to seep into him by some weird sort of osmosis. Either way, it felt good. Even now, as the hacker sat on the couch with Jun resting with his head on his lap and the rest of his body taking over the entirety of the couch and more, Jihoon felt big. He felt nice.

“What are you thinking of?” Jihoon blinked as he snapped out of his thoughts, his fingers buried in the other’s hair as he looked up from the game he played on his phone. Or maybe it was another cat video, he wasn’t sure.

“Uh? Nothing.” Jihoon shook his head lightly, fingers resuming their path between the other’s locks. Usually he’d be too embarrassed to be seen like this, but they were alone in the living room for once. And his growing confidence said he wouldn’t care much if they were caught, either. “Just thinking.”

“Something good or something bad?” Junhui questioned, putting his phone down on his chest.

“Neither?” Jihoon pursed his lips, shrugging a bit. “Lot of things. Some good, some bad.”

Jun nodded once or twice, grabbing a throw pillow to hold against his chest. “Talk to me?”

And that, that was another thing. Junhui always knew when to ask, when to prompt, when to push and when to stay quiet. He was never too much, and never less than enough. Jihoon had no idea what had got him so thoughtful today, but he was suddenly considering everything. And maybe it was because he felt so tall and confident that he found it in himself to open up a bit more.

“I don’t get it.” Jihoon admitted with a soft breath, watching a small frown forming between the other’s brows.

“Don’t get what?” He questioned, perplexed.

“How is this enough for you?” Jihoon wondered, though he wasn’t judgmental or frustrated. He was simply confused.

“Jihoonie, if you’re trying to start a break up talk you have really shitty timing.” Jun blinked, confusion still written on his face.

“What? Shut up.” The shorter frowned now, flicking the other’s forehead. “I’m not breaking up with you, you idiot. What the hell?”

“Alright, alright, just making sure.” Junhui chuckled, rubbing at his forehead. “But what did you mean by being enough?”

“I don’t know, I just,” The hacker sighed, pushing his own light colored hair back now as he thought of the best way to put it. “You do a lot for me, you know? You make me food, you send me videos that made you think of me, you tell everyone how cute I am… Which is incredibly cringey, by the way, but you still do it.” He reasoned, cheeks a bit red just from remembering Soonyoung cooing at them and Minghao nearly gagging.

“Okay, so…” Junhui wet his lips, seemingly taking it all in. “You want me to stop?”

“No, no,” Jihoon quickly shook his head. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.” Truth was he liked it, but he still wasn’t confident enough to admit that. “What I’m saying is, you’re always showing how much you like us, how much you like me.” He explained, pressing his lips together since even admitting that was a bit difficult sometimes. Soonyoung was right, he was emotionally constipated. “But I never really show it, you know?” Was that really enough?

Junhui hummed, pursing his lips in thought now. Part of Jihoon wondered if the other was only noticing the flaw in their relationship now. If they could even call it a relationship. Fuck, he had just opened Pandora’s box, hadn’t he? _Awesome_.

“I like you.” Jun put it simply, and Jihoon wondered if everything was that simple to him. If so, he truly envied him. “And you like me, right?” Jihoon nodded quickly, surprised by his own speed. “And that makes me happy. I don’t see why I’d have a problem.”

Okay, that was good. Still didn’t make a lot of sense to him, but it was good. “Yeah, alright, but, don’t you want more?”

“Like what?” Junhui asked, blinking a couple of times.

He was really going to make him say it, wasn’t he? “Like, being more intimate, I don’t know. Like hugging, kissing… Couple-y stuff.” Once again he felt his cheeks burning only from mentioning those things.

He wasn’t a prude, not that there was anything wrong with that. He just, they just, didn’t do that often. Hugging, maybe. Because Junhui was a born hugger and Jihoon didn’t really mind having the boy draped around him from time to time. But the hacker rarely initiated anything. He was either too embarrassed, or too uncomfortable, or he simply just didn’t feel like it.

“…You’re adorable.” Junhui cooed, reaching up to pinch the boy’s cheek.

“Shut up.” Jihoon swatted at the other’s hand with a grumpy pout that he was sure didn’t help his case.

“I like you, Jihoonie.” Junhui said once again, with a warm smile dripping with sincerity. “I like who you are, I like how you are. You’re different, but I like different. You make me happy. And knowing you like me too makes me even happier.”

“But don’t you want normal?” The hacker wondered.

“Normal is boring. ” His grin grew brighter, and a bit playful. “Plus, you said you don’t show me how much you like me, but that’s bullshit. You do it all the time.”

Jihoon frowned at that, wondering what the other meant. Thankfully, he didn’t need to question, as Junhui seemed to have read his mind.

“Whenever we order chicken you always get me the bigger piece before anyone gets to it. You’re always with me when the guys are checking on my injuries. You let me hug you, you let me bother you all the time but you never snap at me. You’re always making sure I don’t push myself too hard, even though you’re shit at doing that for yourself.” Junhui snickered before his smile turned into a softer one, one of his hands stealing Jihoon’s and threading their fingers together. “You show me you like me all the time, Jihoonie, and that makes me happy. What more could I ask for?”

Well, Jihoon’s heart had just decided to leap up to his throat, while his stomach was probably doing back flips. What he ever did to deserve Junhui was a subject Jihoon wasn’t prepared to face at the moment, so he’d lock it away with the rest of his self conscious thoughts.

“Shit.” The shorter gulped, trying to will down the temperature of his face. “Just, where do you learn to say all that shit? How can you be so good at this? Seriously, it’s not fair. You’re like fucking Shakespeare or something.” Jihoon complained with a frown, causing the other to laugh loudly, which was also not great for his heart.

“I may not be that smart, but I’m good with feelings.” Junhui grinned cheekily.

“You’re very smart, Junnie.” Jihoon added, this time no jokes and just sheer honesty. “You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

Junhui had seemed to be taken by surprise by that, given how his expression softened and his eyes widened. He was soon smiling once again though, his free hand picking his phone up again. “Maybe, but have you seen this bunny? He’s a genius.”

Jihoon felt tempted to point out the blush on the other’s cheeks, or to maybe ask why he was avoiding that subject, but he settled for watching the video of the rabbit in the obstacle course. He hadn’t even noticed their hands were still together until he realized his thumb was brushing against the side of Jun’s palm, but he decided he wouldn’t be the first one to pull away, either. He wasn’t one to take initiative, after all.

 

 

——

 

 

“I now declare you, Junhui,” Jisoo announced as he placed the stethoscope around his neck. “Free of the medication.”

“Yes!” Junhui jumped off the table with a fist bump to the air, his smile wider than Seungcheol had seen in the last few weeks.

“You go, Junnie!” Soonyoung cheered, highfiving his friend with a matching grin.

“That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though!” Jihoon reminded them, his concern disguising itself as grumpiness. “You’re still hurt.”

“Jihoonie’s right.” Jisoo agreed with a nod. “You’re much better, but you still gotta watch out, okay? No heavy lifting, no hard training, and if you feel any pain you gotta let me know, even if it’s nothing.”

Jun groaned, yet he nodded nonetheless, muttering, “I know, I know.”

“Still, we should celebrate!” Soonyoung announced, looking around at the rest of them. “How about a party?”

“We’re not throwing another party.” Seungcheol was quick to intervene, arms crossed as he leaned back against the kitchen counter. “Too much work and too big of a mess to clean up.”

“You know, denying parties is a sign of old age.” The thief replied grumpily, eyes sharp at their leader.

“Then Jihoonie must be pushing 60.” Seungcheol smirked, noticing the less than amused stare his friend sent his way.

“Don’t make me take his side.” The shorter warned, though Seungcheol knew it was an empty threat.

“Soonyoung-ah, think about Jun. He shouldn’t be pushing himself or dancing. Do you really wanna throw a party when he can’t dance?” Seungcheol watched as Joshua joined him, feeling the warmth of his boyfriend’s hand on his back. The leader had to admit, Jeonghan really taught him how to manipulate people. Seungcheol wasn’t sure if he should be proud or worried.

Soonyoung’s determination quickly dissolved into sadness from the doctor’s words, as he was soon looking at his friend. “I didn’t even think of that. I’m so sorry Junnie!” He pouted, though Jun seemed less than bothered.

“Uh? It’s fine.” Junhui blinked a couple of times, making Seungcheol wonder if he actually paid attention to any of their conversation. “Actually, I don’t miss partying much.” The tall boy admitted with a shrug. “I do miss drinking though.” He confessed with an embarrassed chuckle, taking Seungcheol by surprise.

“Really?” The leader asked, raising a brow. “I didn’t think you were much of a drinker.”

None of them were, actually. At least not for a while now. Sure, Wonwoo was known to drink a glass of wine or two once in a while. Mingyu too, to everyone’s surprise. And Jeonghan could basically down anything you put in front of him. Even Seungcheol himself did enjoy a beer after a long day. However, no one was really into getting pissed drunk or anything like that.

“Well, I’m not, I think. Not regularly, at least.” Junhui chuckled once again, arm raised as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But it’s been a while, you know? I wasn’t allowed to drink for, what, a month?” The taller pursed his lips in thought, cheeks slightly red with embarrassment. “I kinda wanna do it just ‘cause I’m allowed now.”

Of course, now Seungcheol understood. Not that Jun owed them an explanation, but it made sense. He had been taking heavy painkillers ever since he they got him back home, and even when he got off those, he was still taking over the counter medication on a regular basis. With the amount of shit they’d been through, the guy wasn’t even allowed to have a drink. No wonder he missed it.

“Drinking party!” Soonyoung suddenly announced, seemingly even giddier than before.

“Didn’t we have one of those like, ages ago?” Jisoo frowned a bit as he tried to remember.

“Yes, and it was followed by hangovers and regrets.” Jihoon provided from where he sat on the table, feet dangling a bit in the air.

“But it was fun!” Soonyoung argued, grin quickly turning into a pout. “At least from what I can remember.”

“You’re really not helping your case, you know.” Jihoon pointed out sharply, now practically a professional at arguing with Soonyoung. Well, they did have years of practice.

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea.” Seungcheol admitted, tilting his head a bit as he thought it over. It couldn’t hurt, right? It’s not like they had much work to do, they could take some time to enjoy themselves.

“May I remind you that’s usually how all our bad ideas begin?” The hacker raised a brow at their leader, as if this was simply a repetition of all their failed experiments.

It was not. Seungcheol was sure of it this time.

“Think about it, why not?” The eldest reasoned, wetting his lips. “We all need to let out a little steam, yeah? Plus, last time we really got to bond.” Sure, it was a bit messy, but they did grow closer.

“You mean, bond over our distaste for hangovers and a half naked Soonyoung.” The thief’s cheeks turned red at the hacker’s accusation, and Seungcheol could spot the smirk on Jisoo’s lips.

“It wasn’t what it looked like!” Soonyoung defended, though it was a lost cause already.

“What does Jun think?” Jisoo asked instead, trying to spare Soonyoung of more embarrassment. Perhaps he was still better than Jeonghan in some ways.

“Of half naked Soonyoung?” Jun blinked, visibly surprised. “Kind of skinny, but I’m sure he filled up a bit more now–“

“Jun!” Soonyoung whined, and this time Seungcheol couldn’t help the laugh that left him.

“I think he meant the drinking party.” The leader quickly provided, though he, unlike Jisoo, would love to see Soonyoung embarrass himself some more.

“Oh!” Junhui’s eyes widened before he nodded a bit, leaning back against the table with his palms on the edge of it. “It sounds kind of fun, actually.” He admitted with a shy grin, wetting his lips.

“Minghao and Hansol think it’s a good idea too!” Soonyoung provided while raising his phone.

“When the hell did you talk to them?” Jihoon frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Just now.” Soonyoung showed off a smug grin. “And Wonwoo said he’s in as long as he has a say in the drinks.” The thief was quick as he typed on his smartphone, ignorant to the heated glare Jihoon sent him.

“Sure. When _I_ need a favor they take five hours to answer.” The hacker grumbled, to which Junhui had to stifle a chuckle.

“Alright, it’s settle then!” Seungcheol announced with a wide grin, pushing himself off the counter and throwing an arm over Jisoo’s shoulders. “We’re having a drinking party.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so so much for all the comments and kudos and just for reading it at all, seriously.  
> I can't believe this actually got 4K hits, and I kinda feel bad it took me so long to update, but the last couple of weeks have been so busy and given we're nearing the end of the year, things will probably be a bit like this for a while.  
> Still, thank you so much for you support!!
> 
> And ok I wasn't sure about including that little junhoon bit in this chapter but I'm weak for them ok sue me–  
> Also, "I don't mind" is Jihoon's code word for "I like it", in case it wasn't clear enough lol
> 
> Like always, I always revise these things before posting, but I often miss a typo or two (or occasionally 10-), so please don't be afraid to let me know if you find one!  
> And feel free to leave feedback!! Only if you want to, ofc. I always enjoy reading comments and they motivate me so much to keep writing <3
> 
> AND I ALMOST FORGOT BUT WOW SEVENTEEN'S COMEBACK  
> that whole album is perfection istg i'm still ugH


	18. Let’s have fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Water for my dearest Shua.” Jeonghan smirked, handing him a bottle of still water.
> 
> “Will you ever let that go?” Jisoo complained with a disappointed frown, referring to an old video he clearly regretted making.
> 
> “Oh, darling, it’s like you don’t even know me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me at myself: Yeah I can totally get this out by Thursday
> 
> me on Thursday: HAHAHA i hate myself

 

 

They were doing this, they were actually doing this. Jihoon couldn’t believe they hadn’t learned their lesson from the last time. Sure, it had been fun,a bonding experience or whatever Seungcheol liked to call it. But honestly, Jihoon thought some things were best left untold, and naked best bodies left unseen.

Still, they were there already, with the coffee table was pushed aside and the couch pushed back as well to leave the rug free for sitting. Some pillows were scattered around and others placed nicely on a half circle, a contrast that happened when you put Jisoo and Chan to do the same task. There were about seven bags of tortilla chips in the middle of the oddly shaped circle, yet no dip. A result of putting Hansol in charge of food. He was a well intented kid, but often forgetful.

“Are we doing this or not?” Jihoon asked as he plopped down on one of the cushions. Junhui joined his side quickly, with a much giddier expression. If they were truly going through with this stupid idea, he was intent on drinking.

“I thought you didn’t wanna do this.” Seungcheol pointed out with a smirk, watching as his friend shrugged grumpily.

“I don’t. Which is why I wanna get it over with already.” The shorter reasoned, sticking his hands into the grey hoodie that some would clame was many sizes too big. Jihoon didn’t care, he thought it was comfortable.

“Alright, who’s drinking what?” Jeonghan asked as he kneeled down on one of the pillows, Jisoo and Seungcheol joining him by his sides. 

“Since when are you the drinking expert?” Mingyu raised a brow, bringing in the glasses and a generous amount of paper towels along with Minghao and Seokmin.

“If it wasn’t for me you’d probably be drinking gas station beer.” Jeonghan accused, and the rest soon joined them as well.

Soonyoung took the spot next to the shorter hacker, while Wonwoo sat next to Jun. Following him was Mingyu, Minghao and Seokmin, with Seungkwan sitting between the latter and Hansol. Chan took the space between his brother and Soonyoung, and Jihoon was sure the youngest would regret that decision after a few drinks.

“Says the guy who once mixed kool-aid and vodka.” Seungcheol teased with a smirk while they all leaned in to get the glasses.

“Excuse me, that is a legit high end drink in France.” The second oldest argued, though even that lie was a bit too ridiculous to buy.

“Do they even have kool-aid in France?” Seokmin raised a brow, looking genuinely curious.

“Well, the french equivalent.” Jeonghan concluded with a wave, finally taking all the drinks out of the bags. Wonwoo did the same with the ones he carried, and Jihoon was honestly afraid to ask how much they spent on it, counting the number of bottles he saw.

“Can I have the beer?” Chan asked, making Jihoon wonder if he was simply being polite or asking Seungcheol for permission. Probably both.

His older brother handed him a long can, which was a bit of a surprise. “Alright, but I’m counting them.” That was more like him.

“You know I’m 20, right?” The younger frowned, opening the can.

“Yet you’re still my younger brother, suck it up.” Seungcheol snickered, ruffling the boy’s hair and laughing when he tried to dodge him. Maybe Jihoon had been wrong, because it looked like Chan was already regretting his seating choice.

“Water for my dearest Shua.” Jeonghan smirked, handing him a bottle of still water.

“Will you ever let that go?” Jisoo complained with a disappointed frown, referring to an old video he clearly regretted making.

“Oh, darling, it’s like you don’t even know me.” The older grinned with an affectionate tap to the other’s cheek.

“I’ll take that.” Seungkwan announced, stealing his friend’s water. “I got a test tomorrow and the last thing I need is a hangover.”

“Are we doing shots?” Soonyoung asked, eyes glinting and excited.

“Shots!” Hansol cheered, raising his hands.

“We do have vodka.” Wonwoo reasoned, raising one of the many bottles. “And tequila.” Oh god, Jihoon was regretting this already.

“Eh, why not?” The hacker resigned, pushing his hair back. “It’s not like this night won’t be a disaster anyway.”

“That’s the spirit!” Soonyoung exclaimed, patting Jihoon on the back a bit too strongly. “Who’s having shots?” A bit over half of them raised their hands, while the others decided to go with something more mellow to start with.

“I’ll have two shots!” Junhui announced with a bright smile, the rest of them staring at him oddly. “Get it? Two shots?” He giggled, thinking too highly of his own joke. The others simply groaned though, accustomed yet still not amused by the other’s sense of humor.

“Hyung!” Seungkwan whined with a pout. “You shouldn’t joke about that!” Junhui was too busy laughing at his own joke however, and despite the silence, Jihoon could see the grin threatening to break Seungcheol’s features.

“Can we at least leave the lame jokes for when I’m drunk?” The short hacker complained, getting the shot glass that was handed to him.

“Alright, let’s make a toast!” The leader announced, raising his can of beer. “To a night we’ll always remember!”

“Though we’ll probably forget.” Jeonghan added with a smug grin, getting a glare in return.

“Jeonghan!” Seungcheol reprimanded, though they all knew that never worked.

“To us!” Seokmin suggested with a bright grin, raising his glass as well.

“To us!” They all cheered before taking their first generous gulp. This was going to be one long night.

 

 

——

 

 

“Never have I ever…” Hansol stretched out the last syllable, swaying a bit from side to side. Jun could tell he was deep in thought or he had just forgotten what he was going to ask. “Okay, never have I ever slept on the kitchen counter.”

“Our kitchen counter or any kitchen counter?” Jeonghan asked to clarify, though Jun wondered if that truly made any difference.

“Any kitchen counter.” With Hansol’s answer, both Jeonghan and Jihoon took a shot of vodka. Well, a half shot, since they all agreed that game would get them wasted far too quickly. Perhaps not Jeonghan, who was apparently still sober after five shots. Or maybe he was just a great actor, they really couldn’t tell.

“Seriously? Even the floor is more comfortable.” Wonwoo pointed out, raising a brow.

“You think too small, dear friend.” Jeonghan hummed, shaking his head. “Anyone would choose the floor. Only avid sleepers would take the challenge of the counter.”

“Is that really a thing?” Jun blinked, looking down at Jihoon. The shorter only snorted though, which didn’t exactly answer his question.

“Please don’t try to sleep on the counter.” Minghao quickly shot down the idea with a frown. “You’ll either break it or fall off of it. Or both.”

Junhui gasped, honestly offended, though he couldn’t come up with a comeback. Damn alcohol. “ _Fine_.” The older frowned. “Never have I ever started a childhood gang when I was ten and made up my own street name.”

“Traitor.” Minghao frowned, though Jun could only smirk smugly as his friend took a gulp of beer.

“Wait, what street name?” Hansol quickly asked with a chuckle playing in his tone.

“Oh,” Junhui grinned even more, watching as Minghao tried to stop him with the most threatening glare he could muster.

“Don’t you dare.” The younger even added, though it didn’t work.

“Thughao.” Junhui pronounced each syllable with a proud smile, followed by a choir of laughters and one single groan from the victim.

“Thughao? Seriously?” Mingyu leaned forward as he clutched his stomach in laughter, and even a shove from his friend didn’t shut him up. Junhui couldn’t help laughing himself, incredibly amused by the flush on Minghao’s cheeks.

“I was ten, okay?” Minghao complained grumpily. “I’m sure you did stupid shit when you were ten.”

“He still does stupid shit.” Wonwoo provided with a chuckle, resulting in a now also grumpy Mingyu. They were the only two with a sour mood, though.

“That reminds me,” Mingyu cleared his throat, “Never have I ever lied about having allergies to get out of eating things I don’t like.”

Junhui blinked a couple of times, not entirely sure whom that was directed to. It was by his side though that Wonwoo sighed, filling his glass up to half before gulping down the liquid. “You promised not to tell.” Wonwoo complained.

“Technically, I didn’t tell. You’re the one admitting it.” Mingyu pointed out with a half smirk, though the older looked less then amused by his argument.

“Wait,” Jun frowned, looking at the boy beside him as he finally connected the dots in his mind. “You mean you’re not allergic to seafood?”

“No, he’s just really picky about it.” Mingyu explained, and by the roll of his eyes he knew it for quite a while now.

Junhui felt betrayed, utterly devastated. First, because Wonwoo kept such a secret from him. They were friends, good friends, they shouldn’t hide those kinds of things. Second, Junhui really liked sea food.

“Do you know how many times I kept them from buying fish ‘cause you’re allergic!?” Jun whined, head dropping to the side. “All the shrimp we could’ve head, all the haddock…”

“Yah, I never kept you from eating it.” Wonwoo complained, shoving the other slightly.

“But we still didn’t buy it cause he thought you’d get a reaction just from being near it.” Seungcheol pointed out as he gestured to him. Alright, perhaps Junhui had been a little bit overprotective, but he still blamed Wonwoo.

“Don’t worry Junnie, I’ll make us some fried fish tomorrow.” Mingyu offered, and suddenly Junhui already felt so much better. And it probably showed in his grin and straight posture.

“My turn!” Seungkwan announced. Yes, he was still allowed to play even if he wasn’t exactly drinking. After all, it was a group party. “Never have I ever lied about not understanding a language just to avoid a conversation.”

At that, Hansol, Minghao and Jeonghan took a drink. Junhui was surprised Jisoo didn’t, though he reasoned the older was probably too nice for that. Jun himself didn’t take another shot because most of the time he truly tried to understand people as much as he could. Sometimes inconveniently so.

“What?” Hansol questioned after being faced by Seungkwan’s judging stare. “People judge me by my looks all the time, I might as well get something out of it. Jeonghan-hyung is the weird one, he’s not even a foreigner.” The younger accused.

“Okay, in my defense,” Jeonghan raised his hand after drinking. “Any accusation involving lies I have 70% more of a chance of being guilty of it.”

“How is that our fault?” The leader pointed out with a smirk.

“It’s not. But if you want the alcohol to last longer I suggest you choose wisely.” Jeonghan smirked in return, patting the eldest’s cheek smugly.

“Lies or not, there’s not a lot you haven’t done, Han.” Jisoo reasoned. “I mean, judging by he current results.” Junhui wasn’t keeping count, but he did notice the older drank quite a few rounds.

“Fine then, I got one.” Jeonghan wet his lips, crossing his arms. “Never have I ever killed someone. See? There’s plenty I haven’t done.”

Shit. Junhui was sure that was a joke, but he found himself meeting Minghao’s eyes anyway. Did it count? Without realizing, Junhui reached for the bottle before him. He filled his own small glass before offering the bottle to his younger friend. The boy took it with a small nod, and he waited for Minghao to pour his drink before they both downed it together.

The sound of the liquid running down his throat was louder than anything in that living room, and even if he refused to look up from his glass, he could feel the stares on them. He could even hear their questions, wondering how that had even happened.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Jeonghan breathed out, and finally Jun was able to look up. Instead of the judging stares he expected, he was met with warm ones.

“Don’t be, you didn’t know.” Minghao reasoned, waving him off. “It’s fine. Like, it sucks, but it’s fine.”

“Were you together…?” The youngest asked with a confused frown. Junhui knew he was already trying to understand what happened, Chan was a smart kid after all.

“No no. It was just a rite of passage kind of thing.” Junhui explained, sort of. He didn’t like going into the details. “It’s the last test before they send you off to work.”

“It’s usually people they have beef with. Snitches or enemies or something like that.” Minghao added, though honestly it didn’t make it any better.

“Wait, but weren’t you like, teens?” Jisoo asked, a frown adorning his usual soft eyes as well. Junhui felt a bit guilty, being responsible for that frown far too many times these last few weeks.

“Didn’t really stop them.” Minghao snickered, shrugging. “Now you know why we’re all fucked up.”

“Excuse me, I’m much less fucked up then you.” Junhui complained, trying to lighten the mood. He knew the others probably wanted to know more, to ask more, but Jun wasn’t sure he was drunk enough for that yet.

“Oh yeah, says the guy who’d forgive a bee for stinging him.” Minghao’s words were a bit slurred as he pointed a finger at him.

“Bees are innocent! They make honey and sex up flowers!” Junhui argued, though unfortunately it sounded more like a whine.

“Okay, no, gross. Don’t talk about bee sex.” Jihoon reprimanded with his face scrunched up in disgust, but Jun had a feeling he was helping them steer the conversation into something knew. The taller couldn’t convey how thankful he was for that.

“Fine, then I’ll retract my statement and say something else.” Jeonghan decided, flipping his hair back. “Never have I ever stole a dear friend’s smartphone, thought I lost it, and bought a new one to replace it thinking he wouldn’t even notice the difference.”

“You knew?!” Soonyoung let out loudly, grasping his own chest.

“Of course I knew. I know everything that goes on in this apartment, Kwon Soonyoung.” Jeonghan pointed out with both pride and spite, sounding as scary as he did whenever he went on a mission. “Especially when it involves my things.”

“But I was careful! And– Wait, what do you mean ‘thought I lost it’?” Soonyoung frowned for a second, only getting a mischievous smirk as an answer. The thief then gasped loudly, clenching his chest once again. “Hyung!”

“You may be a thief, but I told you, I know everything that goes on around here.” Jeonghan grinned smugly.

“But I bought you a new one! I was saving up for a boat!” Soonyoung whined, shoulders slumping. “Why would you even need two phones?”

“Why would you need a boat?” Chan asked with a perplexed stare, though the thief paid him no mind.

“I don’t. That’s why I sold it.” Jeonghan giggled, actually giggled, and Junhui couldn’t help laughing at his friend’s misery as well.

“But, but–!” Soonyoung gaped, trying to come up with words without much success. “You’re evil.” He settled for that, crossing his arms and pouting.

“I was only doing a good job as a mother and teaching you a lesson.” Jeonghan boasted, nudging his chin at the younger. “Now drink up, Soonyoungie.”

 

 

——

 

 

“And with that I conclude my argument that Lee Taemin is the best dancer this country has seen in ten years.” Soonyoung announced, theatrically putting down his glass and almost smashing it in the process.

“Bravo!” Seokmin clapped as loudly as he spoke, looking genuinely impressed.

“That’s great hyung, but,” Chan interrupted, now in his second can of beer. He was impressed Seungcheol hadn’t had a complain about that yet, though he thought it could be because of the level of alcohol in his blood. He wouldn’t risk asking, of course. “My question was why didn’t we get more chips?”

Because three hours in all the food had ended, and Hansol had already tipped back every bag for any crumbs. The alcohol, however, was still enough to get a baby elephant wasted.

“How the fuck do you manage to put Taemin in every conversation?” Jihoon grumbled, nudging his friend though almost falling onto him from the action.

“Blasphemy!” Soonyoung gasped, pushing Jihoon off and looking at Jisoo for help. “Hyung, tell him!”

“I don’t think that counts as blasphemy.” The older frowned, glancing at Jeonghan for reassurance. The other just snickered though, eyes both fond and amused as he ruffled the boy’s hair.

“Yeah, doesn’t it need to involve god to count as blasphemy?” Reasoned Seungkwan, who was now on his second water bottle.

“Ha!” Soonyoung scoffed, “Taemin is a dance god, so joke’s on you!” He insisted, and Chan wondered if they should maybe worry about his hyung’s obsession.

“Hansolie was in charge of the food, ask him.” Jeonghan provided through the useless conversation, while said boy had seemed to be caught in the midst of some mind opening epiphany. Chan knew better though, the big eyes and confused expression were Vernon’s go-to look for whenever someone called his name.

“Ask me what?” The American boy questioned, clearly not keeping up with them.

“Why you didn’t get more food.” Wonwoo helpfully informed him, while nudging his glass at him for some reason. He tried to act sober, but the youngest could see his hyung was already more on the tipsy side than not. And it was definitely amusing.

“But stores are closed now!” Hansol complained with a pout, looking back at the older.

“I didn’t mean–“ Chan tried to point out, but Mingyu was already cutting in.

“The convenience store is open.” The taller reminded them.

“It’s 1 AM, you’re not going to the convenience store.” Minghao quickly reprimanded, with a grumpy stare and a thick accent.

“Why not?” Mingyu whined, nudging the other and almost shoving him onto Seokmin. The older took that as a reason to wrap his arms around the Chinese boy, who didn’t seem to object.

“Because it’s one in the morning and you’re scared of your own fucking shadow you idiot.” Minghao pointed out, to which Mingyu only stuck his tongue out.

“No one’s going anywhere.” Seungcheol waved his hand around as if his word was the law. In some cases, Chan knew it was, but most of the time it didn’t bother him.

Sure, it annoyed the hell out of him when Seungcheol decided to be overprotective and stubborn, but at the end of the day he was a good brother, and a good leader, so Chan couldn’t complain much. Despite the popular bickering brothers trope, Seungcheol and him got along pretty well.

“What I want to know,” Seungkwan announced, placing a hand on his chest. “Is why can’t we continue with our game?”

Oh yeah, the game. Chan had genuinely forgotten. It was a superlatives game, or something like that, he called it. Something silly, just deciding who was the ‘most’ on random things. It was dumb, but it did provide them with a lot of laughs, though that was also related to how much they had already drank.

So far, they had decided Hansol was the messiest member, ramen was Mingyu’s best food (with a lot of fighting on that subject), and Soonyoung’s feet were the stinkiest. The latter was a conclusion Chan was not happy to act as a judge for. Oh, and apparently, Lee Taemin was Korea’s best dancer, even if that hadn’t even been a topic for discussion in the first place.

“Oh, oh!” Jun raised his hand, the excitement showing in the way he almost bounced on his pillow. “Who’s the coolest hyung?”

“Oooh!” Seokmin let out excitedly, Soonyoung and Seungkwan joining in.

“If you gotta ask is clearly not you.” Wonwoo reasoned, ignoring his friend’s frown.

“Well, neither is you, mister grumpy emo eyeliner.” Jun pointed out childishly.

“Did you tell everyone!?” Wonwoo complained to Mingyu who only blinked a couple of times.

“I didn’t do anything!” He whined once again. Mingyu was one that in spite of how much he drank, he continued as whiny as always. And perhaps a bit poutier. Chan, however, did spot Jihoon barely containing a smirk, and he was certain the hacker was the one to blame.

“Shouldn’t we ask Chan that?” Hansol suggested, and suddenly the youngest felt all eyes on him.

“What?” He blinked, now finding himself not exactly caught up to the conversation.

“He’s right, you’re the youngest.” His brother reasoned, patting his shoulder. “Everyone’s your hyung, so you’re the most apt to choose.” He explained as if he hadn’t gone through three cans of beer already.

Jeonghan frowned at that though, pulling Seungcheol back. “I see what you’re doing.” He pointed out with sharp eyees before softening them for the youngest. “You can’t choose your brother.”

“Why not?” Seungcheol complained loudly, pulling away from his boyfriend with an scandalized frown.

“Because he looks up to you, you’re his older brother.” Seungkwan pointed out, the only sober voice, though that was sometimes doubtful. “It’d be biased, it’s not fair.”

“ _That’s_ not fair!” Seungcheol let out, though his shoulders slumped in a way he knew he’d lose the argument.

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t choose him anyway.” Chan shrugged, blinking at his brother’s gasp.

“Chan!” The look on his brother’s face was of utter betrayal, but the younger could do nothing but laugh.

“I’m sorry! It’s just, you’re cool, don’t get me wrong, but you can be a bit cringe-y. I mean, you’re my brother. But you’re also my brother, you know?” In his head it made sense, though from Seungcheol’s incredulous stare, it didn’t do much for him. “Plus, your dad jokes are awful.”

“Guess that rules out Wonwoo and Jun too.” Minghao pointed out, smirking at both of their annoyed reactions.

“The joke’s on all of you.” Soonyoung claimed, and Chan suddenly felt the weight of his older friend on him. The younger grunted, trying to push him off, though that seemed only like a challengefor Soonyoung to him hold on tighter. “I’m clearly Chan’s favorite. Right Channie? I’m the coolest hyung.”

“Actually–“ Chan attempted, his word muffled against the other’s chest. He finally managed to pull back from his hold a bit, looking over Soonyoung’s shoulders. “I was gonna say Jihoon hyung.”

The shorter seemed quite surprised, lowering his glass as he looked back at the younger. Chan wasn’t kidding, though, he meant it. Truly. “I know we’re not like, super close.” Not that they didn’t get along well. Jihoon was just very introverted sometimes, and so was Chan, therefore the boy had a hard time knowing how the older felt about him. “But I really look up to him. He’s hard working, and he’s so good at his job it’s scary.”

The hacker snickered at that, but he raised his glass nonetheless, meeting Chan’s eyes once again. The boy took the hint and raised his can to the glass as well before both of them took a gulp of their respective drinks.

“I won’t say I’m not heartbroken.” Soonyoung began, pulling away with a sigh. “But that was cute, so I’ll forgive you for that.”

“He’s right, hyung is so cool.” Seokmin sighed almost dreamily. “I wish I was more like hyung.”

“Ew, no, we only need one grumpy guy and we already have two.” Seungkwan shook his head quickly, giving a warning stare at Minghao, who seemed to want to protest.

“But maybe if I was meaner people wouldn’t bother me so much.” The older pouted, shoulders slumping. It was definitely a rare sight, seeing Seokmin so down on himself. Not one Chan particularly liked, either.

“Who’s bothering you?” Jeonghan was quick to ask, his protective vein making itself known.

“No one, there’s just this stupid professor who gets on his tail a lot.” Seungkwan explained, rubbing his friend’s back. “Actually, he’s kind of a dick.”

“He says I’m too happy!” Seokmin wails pitifully. “That I don’t take myself seriously, but I do! I’m super serious! Why can’t I be happy and serious?”

“You can. I don’t know who he is, but that guy is a fucktard.” Minghao put it so eloquently, making Chan snicker.

“What’s a fucktard?” Junhui asked.

“I don’t know, a fuck and a tard put together.” Minghao grumbled, waving them off. Chan was certain that was a lot wrong with that sentence, but he knew that wasn’t the point. Also, if there was anything that night taught him was that he shouldn’t try reasoning with drunk people.

“Who is this guy anyway?” Jeonghan questioned, his tone much lighter yet much more suspicious, for some reason.

“Professor Song.” Seungkwan answered, to which Jisoo let out a knowledgable ‘Aah’.

“Yeah, he can be a bit of a dictator.” Joshua so usefully added.

“Haha, _dick-tator_.” Wonwoo provided, and once again it was only him and Jun laughing at the horrible pun.

“Wait, no. What are you two doing?” Jisoo frowned as he looked back at Jeonghan, only to find him whispering something to Seungcheol.

“What? Nothing. Did we do anything, Seungcheol?” Jeonghan asked the eldest, blinking his eyes a few too many times.

“Not that I know of.” His brother shrugged, and now even Chan was growing suspicious. It was obvious something was going on, by the looks the three exchanged, but the youngest decided not to question. Sometimes it was best not to know.

 

 

——

 

 

It was closer to dawn than dusk now, and most of them were properly drunk. Thankfully not to the point of being sick, just to the point of emotional confessions and perhaps bumping into walls while trying to go to the bathroom. The games were over, the atmosphere was mellow, and Wonwoo just felt numb. In a good way, kind of.

“I have a question.” Chan spoke out, because that’s what they had been doing for the last hour, asking each other random questions and being as blunt honest as they could be. Some sort of weird truth or dare with no dares involved, because no one could really bother at that point.

“Shoot.” Jun grinned, making finger guns at the boy.“Get it? Shoot?”

“I’m drunk and the joke’s still not funny.” Jihoon groaned, now leaning more onto Jun than sitting, rubbing his face against the taller’s shoulder. Instead of being upset, the Chinese giggled and nuzzled the shorter’s hair. Wonwoo wasn’t sure if Jihoon let him get away with it because it was Jun or because the hacker was drunk. Probably the latter.

“What do you miss most about being rich?” Wonwoo blinked once he realized Chan’s question was directed to him. Well, Mingyu and him, though the younger could still get access to more money if he wished.

“I don’t know.” Mingyu admitted, rubbing the back of his neck while leaning back on his other hand. “There’s not much I miss besides my family. Maybe the kitchen…”

“The garden.” Wonwoo spoke without thinking, taking a sip of water now. He decided to drop the alcohol for a while, so he could try to prevent a horrible hangover.

“Garden?” Hansol looked quite surprised with his big brown eyes. “Why the garden?”

“I don’t know, I just really liked it.” Wonwoo shrugged. “We had this huge ass garden, with plans like, everywhere. Hanging from walls and shit. It was a good place to spend time in.” He pushed his glasses further up, hugging his right leg and resting his chin on his knee. “Plus, it was cool to raise the plants, you know? Kinda weird in a way, to see a living thing growing out of this tiny little seed.”

“Can’t you have plants here?” Seokmin asked, looking either curious or worried. Wonwoo couldn’t tell in his current inebriated stated, and he was sure Seokmin couldn’t tell either.

“I guess, but it’s not the same.” Wonwoo shrugged once again.

“I legit thought you’d say library or some nerdy shit.” Minghao admitted, and Wonwoo threw one of the empty water bottles at him. Unfortunately, his aim was even worse when he was drunk.

“Why did you cut them off, then?” It was Seungkwan who asked now, yet Wonwoo found himself meeting Mingyu’s eyes. He was the only one who knew, and despite the alcohol in his blood, Wonwoo could tell what the younger was trying to convey. _You don’t have to tell_.

“Eh, might as well come out with it.” Wonwoo sighed, sitting up straight and stretching out his legs, trying to avoid the collection of cans and bottles while he leaned back on his hands. “My parents are loan sharks.”

“What?” Jeonghan asked, eyes wide and matching the looks around him.

“They’re loan sharks.” Wonwoo was always afraid to say it for a reason. He was ashamed of them, ashamed of himself in some way. “They’re the kind of people we try to stop.” He snickered, pushing his hair back. “I couldn’t live like that, knowing where that money came from. I mean I did live like that for so long, but ‘ya know…”

“You’re not like them.” Junhui spoke out, and Wonwoo was impressed that even drunk his friend could read him so well.

“I know, but I’m not exactly right either.” Wonwoo reasoned, frowning a bit. “They’re out there, doing shit, and I… I know, I should’ve told you guys, I should’ve said something. I was just scared, like, as much as I hate them…”

“They’re still your parents.” Jihoon concluded, and the older could only nod in return.

They were bad people, but they were still his parents. And as much as he wanted to take them down, he wasn’t sure he was strong enough. Not yet.

“It’s not your fault.” Seungcheol spoke like a true leader, even after so many beers and a few shots. Wonwoo smiled in return, thankful even for the things that were left unsaid.

“I have another question.” Minghao mumbled, his accent showing in his slurred speech. “How are you feeling?”

This time the question wasn’t directed at him, but at his other Chinese friend. Junhui seemed surprised as well, blinking a couple of times.

“Uh, right now?” Jun looked as confused as he sounded, looking around a bit. “Pretty good, I guess. A bit dizzy.”

“I mean, in general, after all that shit.” Minghao explained, and despite not sitting that close to Junhui, Wonwoo could almost feel him freeze. “Honestly.”

“Honestly?” Junhui asked for confirmation, and he got it in the form of a nod. “Like shit.” His friend chuckled, though it lacked its usual glee.

“Hyung.” Seungkwan called, concerned.

“Let him talk.” Seungcheol ordered instead, nudging his chin at Junhui.

“I don’t know if there’s much more to say.” Junhui admitted with a sigh and a shrug. “It’s just, shit. My body hurts, I hurt, everything is wrong.” Wonwoo could read the concern in the medical team’s stares, but Wonwoo knew the physical pain was the least of Jun’s concerns.

“I mean, I’m fine, I’m promise. But I’m also not, I just…” He did that thing again, where he tried to find the right words to express himself. “It sucks, you know? It fucking sucks. Because I’m hurt, and I know I’m getting better but I still can’t do half the shit that makes me happy, so it doesn’t feel like I’m getting better. And in the meantime you’re all so worried about me and taking care of me, and…”

Wonwoo placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder, trying to get him to breathe. Thankfully he took the hint, thanking him with a small smile. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful, I really am. You guys are awesome. Really, the best friends, fucking awesome. I’m just not used to this kind of attention, I’m not used to people worrying about me, not like this. I’m the one who takes care of people, not the other way around.” His friend breathed out, as if he had that stuck in him for far too long. Perhaps he had. “I’m tired of being a burden.”

“You’re not a burden, hyung.” Mingyu quickly replied, though they were all thinking it.

“I know, I know that.” Junhui smiled small, and Wonwoo could tell already that his friend didn’t want comfort, he just wanted to vent. He was grateful Minghao had seen that. “But I still feel like one, I can’t help it.”

Wonwoo pressed his lips, bringing a hand up to pinch the back of the other’s neck lightly, just to show him he was there.

“Thanks, hyung.” Minghao’s voice was unusually soft, but still as sincere as always. “For tellin’ the truth.”

“Thanks, Hao.” Junhui smiled in return, the grin gaining back some of its warmth.

“This is gonna sound cheesy as fuck, so I won’t say it again. Listen up, fuckers.” Jihoon announced, sitting up straight and raising a near empty bottle of vodka. “I don’t know where I’d be without y’all. So, ya know, thanks.” His words were slurred and his arm was swinging slightly, but Wonwoo grinned at the other’s sincerity.

“Aaawhh, Jihoonie!” Soonyoung cooed, throwing his arms around the shorter and pulling him into a hug. “We love you too!”

“I never said that.” The hacker grumbled, not making much of an effort to escape his friend’s grip. Yep, definitely drunk.

“I got a confession too.” Seungcheol cleared his throat, slapping his own thighs with both hands. “But I’ll do it when we’re sober.”

“What?!” Seungkwan scoffed with a more than displeased frown. “You can’t give us that cliffhanger! I’m sober, tell me!” He whined, his need for gossip showing.

“Nope, we’re telling everyone at the same time.” The leader decided with an over the top nod.

“We? Oh my god, are you all getting married?!” Seokmin almost squealed, looking at the eldest three.

“Pfft, if we were, we’d _definitely_ be announcing it drunk.” Jeonghan grinned, looking much too sober for someone who had practically drank a whole bottle of tequila on his own.

“And I’m pretty sure that’s not legal.” Jisoo reasoned, frowning a bit as if trying to remember something. He clearly didn’t hold his liquor as well as his boyfriend. Wonwoo wasn’t sure anyone did, though.

“It’s not like that ever stopped us from doing pretty much anything.” Minghao pointed out, letting out a giggle.

Hansol gasped then, pointing at the three. “Can I be the ring bearer?” The boy asked with actual hope shining in his eyes.

“Only if you wear a bear costume.” Wonwoo suggested with a chuckle, noticing the giggles that left Junhui as well.

“Hey, it’s our wedding! We decide on the costumes!” Joshua whined, much unlike himself, which only made the scene more amusing as half of them burst out in laughter.

“Okay, okay, I think it’s time for bed.” The leader announced, pushing himself up and only slightly stumbling as he looked down at them.

“Getting cold feet?”Jeonghan teased with a mischievous smirk.

“Shut up.” Seungcheol frowned, failing to hide his chuckle as he lightly kicked the other’s back. “Come on.”

They all groaned together, but agreed it was time to call it a night. Wonwoo would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what Seungcheol had to say, though in his current condition he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to give it the proper attention. In fact, he was starting to forget about it already when he thought about the warm bed waiting for him and the promise that it held.

 

 

——

 

 

Minghao had no idea how he got stuck with cleaning. Alright, he had some idea. It might have had something to do with the fact that the rest of them were surprisingly fast drunks and went to bed far quicker than he expected. Or wherever else they went to. It could also have to do with the fact that although Mingyu could get drunk, his inner housewife was still very much sober, and insisted that Minghao should help him.

“No, no, no.” Minghao grumbled, grabbing the bottles from his friend. “You’re already a danger sober. Grab the pillows.” He ordered, though he knew it lacked his usual bossiness.

What? His mind was hazy and his legs were slow, after so many drinks he believed he was doing pretty well. He’d go back to his usual grumpiness in the morning.

“Grab the pillows.” Mingyu repeated much like a child, yet at least he did as he was told, taking the couch cushions from the floor and placing them back where they belonged. Well, not exactly. Minghao was sure he traded the seat cushions with the back cushions, but the Chinese male couldn’t be bothered. Instead, he continued to take the bottles into the kitchen only to leave them in the sink, hoping someone else would deal with them later.

“The bags too, in the trash.” Minghao pointed out as he returned to the living room to collect more of the bottles and cans.

“Bags too.” The taller repeated once again, taking the empty bags of chips and following him into the kitchen. “Into the… Hao, there’s two bins.”

Minghao snickered at his friend’s antics, watching him stand in front of the two trash bins next to the counter as if he was trying to solve a math problem. “The left one.” The shorter provided, though that didn’t seem to help him much. “The green one.” He added with a laugh.

“Green one!” Mingyu cheered, opening the lid and pushing the bags into the bin, making quite some noise. “Shhh, people are sleeping.” He reprimanded the trash, and Minghao found himself rolling his eyes fondly at him. No, not fondly. Drunkly. Yes.

“Come on, ’s late.” The younger called out, pulling the other away from the kitchen before he began scolding more inanimate objects.

He meant to check his own room first, given in nights like these the boys forgot about sleeping arrangements and just slept in whatever bed they found first. When he was about to open the door, however, he was met with noises that were less than inviting.

“Ugh, why did they take the big room?” The shorter complained with a groan, his older friend now almost leaning onto him with all his weight. “This is your fault you know? If you hadn’t insisted on cleaning we’d have a bed by now.” Minghao pointed out, pushing the other off. As a result Mingyu stumbled backwards, pulling on Minghao’s arm for balance.

“Why? What? Check the other rooms.” Mingyu frowned sleepily, gesturing to the other doors down the hallway.

He didn’t need to check the other rooms. Even in his intoxicated mind he could do the math and know there weren’t enough empty beds. He wouldn’t be surprised if some of the others were sharing. “There aren’t enough beds, you idiot.” The younger scowled.

However, instead of whining like he usually did, the taller chuckled. He actually chuckled, pointy teeth and all. Which of course, prompted Minghao to raise a brow.

“What’s so funny?” The younger questioned, with his friend now practically swaying back and forth with the lack of motor coordination. He placed his hands on the other’s chest to steady him, and perhaps at some other time he’d be more embarrassed by the action, but at the moment he was too drunk and too sleepy to care.

“You’re cute.” Mingyu giggled now, showing how he failed to hold his liquor.

“What?” The shorter frowned, not really catching his words as he also struggled to stand up straight and keep the other up at the same time.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” Mingyu repeated with an addition and a grin.

If Minghao felt his face warming up, he’d blame it once again on the alcohol. And maybe on the other’s breath. “Shut up.” He put it so eloquently, making Mingyu giggle once again.

With a more annoyed eye roll, Minghao pushed the other off, now not caring if he fell back or not. The clumsy one only seemed to stumble though, which thankfully meant he wouldn’t have to pick a drunk Mingyu up off the floor. Instead, he used his time to fix the couch cushions as well as he could in his sleepy state.

“Come on, you can have the couch.” Minghao gestured mindlessly to said furniture before placing some pillows back onto the floor to make himself a bed. Or something that could act as one.

His friend nodded obediently and almost made himself dizzy. Despite that, he managed to find his way onto the couch, lying down on his side and facing the boy who kicked the pillows around.

“Hao, sleep with me!” Minghao’s head fell back with a groan before he turned to look at the other. As predicted, Mingyu had a pout on his face and hogged over half of the width of the couch.

“We can’t fit there. You can barely fit, you moron.” Minghao reasoned, his sleepiness perhaps turning him a little bit more sour.

“Please?” Mingyu insisted, and the younger knew from the look in his eyes that he wouldn’t let this go. Also, as much as Minghao wished he could deny it, his body would also thank him immensely if he chose the comfortable couch over the hard floor.

“Fine, but scoot over.” He gave in, waiting for the other to push himself further against the back of the couch before joining him.

He wasn’t sure if it’d be worse to face him, or to have his back against him and have the risk of Mingyu spooning him over the night. It wouldn’t be the first time sharing a bed with the other, or in this case a couch, and Minghao knew how clingy he could get. So he settled for the first option, making himself as comfortable as possible yet still lying a bit too close for comfort to the other’s face.

“Your breath smells.” Mingyu mumbled while throwing an arm around him, only proving his point of the boy being too clingy.

“Well, if you weren’t such a neat freak we’d be in our own beds and not breathing in each other’s face.” Minghao grumbled, sleep calling for him even louder now as he finally got to lie down.

“But we needed to clean!” Mingyu pouted, his inner housewife showing once again.

“We could clean after we slept.” The younger mumbled in a tone that was more whiny than angry, so he added it to the list of things he blamed the alcohol in his blood for. “Why did you choose me anyway? Why didn’t you get Shua to help you or something?”

“Because you’re my best friend.” Mingyu spoke as if he was stating that water was wet and Seokmin was loud.

“I thought Wonwoo was your best friend.” Minghao wondered with his brows pulling together slightly.

Mingyu hummed in disagreement, shaking his head lightly though his eyes were threatening to close. His voice was low now too, though perhaps Minghao’s was as well and he just hadn’t notice. “Wonwoo’s like a brother. He’s my favorite brother.”

“You don’t even have brothers.” Minghao scowled, though that didn’t stop the other from continuing.

“He’s my favorite brother.” The taller repeated before yawning. “You’re my favorite person.”

Oh, well, Minghao was perhaps at a loss for words for the first time in his life. What was he supposed to say to that? He wasn’t even sure he could blame it on the booze anymore. But that was all it was, of course. Drinking, it made people sappy and clingy. Even Jihoon had accepted a piggy back ride from Junhui when they left the living room. Everybody got a bit more loving with a little bit of alcohol in their bodies.

“You’re my favorite person too, Gyu.” Minghao added with a sigh, deciding to resign to the sappiness in him as well for just a moment. “Now go to sleep.” It was a short moment, alright?

Mingyu grinned toothily nonetheless, and that was all Minghao saw before turning his back towards the other, deciding his damp breath would bother him too much during the night.

“Goodnight, Hao.” Mingyu called with a yawn, the hand around the other’s waist tired but unmoving.

“‘Night, Gyu.” Minghao replied with a soft tone, closing his eyes and finally surrendering to his sleepiness.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and hits and comments!!  
> Seriously, you're all so nice what did i do to deserve this--  
> And I'm so glad people reacted well to the inclusion of bangtan! 
> 
> I really wanted to post this chapter last week, but things were just too busy around here so it took me longer. The weeks will probably be busy for a while now so I rather not make any promises on when the next chapters will be posted.
> 
> BUT !!!!  
> Things are moving along! I know it doesn't look like much from this chapter but they are ok that I can promise-
> 
> once again THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT<3  
> Please, feel free to let me know what you're thinking about it, seriously, i love reading comments.
> 
> And like always, if you see any typos please let me know! ~~I only had the chance to read this like twice before posting so chances are there are a few of them spread around there- OTL I'm so sorry ok I really am~~


	19. Every day, we’re growing without rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regret.
> 
> That was the main thing in Minghao’s head right now. Regret. Oh, and of course, a pounding headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was not supposed to take two weeks and have a 2k monster of a scene in it, so sorry-

 

Regret.

That was the main thing in Minghao’s head right now. Regret. Oh, and of course, a pounding headache.

The boy let out a questionable noise that stood somewhere between a groan and an elephant call, trying to pull the blanket over his head to shield himself from the light. It didn’t work very well, given some of the sunlight still peeked through from under the blanket, but it was honestly the best he could do right now.

“You two are adorable.” Minghao heard a particularly annoying voice call out, and he dared peeking from under the blanket. Boo Seungkwan.

“Fuck you.” He croaked, his voice a bit rougher than he expected. His words barely seemed to bother the younger however, who stood there with a smug grin and a look that screamed ‘I told you so’.

“You know, that sounds a lot less threatening when it comes from someone being cuddled.” Seungkwan pointed out before turning to walk to the kitchen.

What? Minghao frowned, and only then did he notice that yes, he was in fact being cuddled. There was a long arm wrapped around his waist and a warm chest against his back. Without even thinking – and really, he should’ve thought – Minghao successfully pushed himself off and away from his friend’s grip, though also successfully landing face first on the floor.

Regret. And an even stronger headache.

“I hate you.” Minghao spoke to no one in particular, but someone apparently caught it.

“It’s mutual.” Jihoon replied as he walked, or more like dragged himself passed him, followed by someone much taller and much quieter.

The hacker fell back on the arm chair, while Junhui decided to lie down on the floor next to Minghao. The younger wasn’t sure he did that out of sympathy or if it was the best spot in the room. He didn’t have the mind to question it.

“Don’t be mean.” Seungkwan reprimanded as he now went around handing them painkillers and water bottles. Probably the only liquid that was left after their party. “Drink up, but not too fast. If any of you throw up in here I’m _not_ cleaning it.”

“Who threw up?” Wonwoo’s deep voice was the only one that didn’t make his ears bleed. Minghao shifted to sit up and take the pills along with a gulp of water while watching the older approach them, moving Mingyu’s feet to make some room on the couch and waking him up in the process.

“Ugh.” Mingyu groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes. “Turn off the lights.”

“The lights are off.” Jihoon pointed out, though with his eyes closed Minghao wondered how he could even tell.

“Then why is it so bright?” Mingyu insisted with his nose scrunched up and an annoyed frown.

“That’s called the Sun, hyung.” Seungkwan provided along with a glass of water and two painkillers. The taller struggled to sit up to take them, holding a pillow against his chest much like a child with a teddy bear. Though less cute.

“Turn it off.” Mingyu grumpily replied, handing the glass back before he found a way to break it.

“You’re welcome for being an amazing friend and helping you all, by the way.” Seungkwan answered instead, and the rest simply groaned in agreement.

“Don’t you have a test or something?” Minghao grumbled, remembering the reason why the other was so fucking chirpy.

“Yes, and I’ll be leaving in half an hour so I need to know you guys will be somewhat functional.” Minghao wasn’t sure if he should feel grateful or offended. For now, he just stuck with the regret.

“Why are you so loud?” Seungcheol asked as he joined them, his hair sticking up in gravity-defying positions. Minghao looked up to see the eldest three coming from the bathroom, wondering when they even got there in the first place.

“Why are you so grumpy?” Seungkwan questioned in return, but this time their leader only answered with a glare that read ‘not now’.

“Be nice to him, Cheollie’s feeling sick.” Jeonghan reprimanded the younger while placing both hands on the eldest’s shoulders from behind, only to lean over and kiss his cheek. Minghao didn’t know if Jeonghan was being nicer because of the other’s condition, or if it was some weird symptom of his own hangover.

“How are you not sick?” Wonwoo questioned with a brow raised. He assumed the hacker’s plan of drinking water worked in a way, given his older friend was looking quite a bit better than them. He still didn’t look as good as Jeonghan, however.

“I got a bit of a headache.” Jeonghan answered, though Minghao questioned if he was telling the truth or if he was just being nice. Neither the options sounded like something Jeonghan would do. “But seeing all that puke kinda woke me up.”

“Don’t talk about puke.” Joshua pleaded as he also made his way to the couch, sitting back.

“Did you throw up too?” Minghao wondered, looking up at the older.

“He got sick by seeing Cheollie sick.” Jeonghan explained, and apparently all the sick talk did affect someone, as Mingyu seemed to jump out of the couch and rush to the bathroom.

Wonwoo sighed loudly then, taking a while to get up from his own seat. “I’ll go check on him.” Minghao was going to volunteer, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t glad Wonwoo beat him to it.

Seungcheol and Jeonghan took the opportunity to steal their seats, joining Jisoo on the couch. The eldest leaned on the youngest of the three who leaned on Jeonghan, who could only snicker at the scene. Though he still ran his fingers through Joshua’s hair, and now Minghao was the one who wanted to puke.

“Hansolie!” Seungkwan announced as the boy walked in with Chan, who looked as good as Seungkwan to be honest. Not that it was a surprise, the boy had followed Seungcheol’s rules and not drank too much. Lucky shit.

“Loud.” Jihoon complained, covering his ears. It didn’t seem to stop Seungkwan from hugging the American boy though, who seemed too resigned to protest.

“How are you feeling?” Seungkwan asked as he pulled back, uselessly fixing the boy’s hair. Meanwhile, the youngest joined Minghao on the floor, sitting next to Jun, who seemed not to have moved an inch.

“Like shit.” Hansol slurred, willingly taking the meds and water from the other. Minghao wasn’t paying much attention, but he could swear Seungkwan was sprouting those out of thin air.

“Is hyung okay?” Chan questioned, poking Jun’s shoulder.

“Are any of us?” Seungcheol reasoned.

“Sitting up makes him dizzy.” Jihoon answered instead, and Minghao wondered how he knew that. Junhui seemed to groan in agreement though, so he was probably right. He did turn onto his back, so that was probably some sort of progress.

“Kwaaaan.” It was Seokmin who called now, coming out of the smaller bedroom.

“ _Loooud_.” The short hacker repeated with a groan, yet he seemed to give up on covering his ears.

“Everything hurts.” Seokmin pouted, and Seungkwan seemed to let out a laugh at that. Still, like always, he gave his friend to pills and a glass of water.

“Everything hurts me too.” Soonyoung announced as he finally joined them as well, his eyes swollen and looking like two thin lines to the point Minghao wondered if they were even open.

“You.” Jun accused, and Minghao had a suspicion it was supposed to be loud and dramatic, but it simply sounded tired and annoyed.

“What?” Soonyoung asked in annoyance, forcing himself onto the armchair next to Jihoon. The shorter didn’t seem happy about it, but he didn’t really do much to protest.

“You know what you did.” And like last time, he was naked. Well, thankfully not fully, but he did only have his underwear on. That and his right sock, oddly enough.

“I really don’t fucking know.” Soonyoung admitted, voice lacking it’s usually playfulness.

“Language.” Jisoo called tiredly.

“It wasn’t me!” Chan complained, knowing the doctor only really reprimanded him now, despite being of age.

“Ugh, then I don’t fucking care.” Jisoo grumbled much unlike himself, which managed to get a laugh out of Jeonghan.

“Alright, that’s my cue.” Jeonghan got up and offered his place to Seokmin, who took it more than willingly.

“Cue for what?” Seungcheol questioned, leaning his head back to look at the other, who was now making his way around the couch.

“I’m gonna see if we have stuff for my magic hangover cure.” Jeonghan answered, gently ruffling the other’s hair before making his way to the kitchen.

“Alright, I gotta go too if I wanna study a bit more before the test.” Seungkwan explained as he patted Seokmin’s cheek. The younger grumbled something as a reply while the former went into his room to grab his backpack.

“You guys are gonna be okay, right?” Seungkwan asked once he returned to the living room, ready to leave. Despite the boy’s teasing and overall smugness, it was at times like these that they were reminded of how much he looked after them.

“Just go, you’re gonna be late.” Minghao waved him off, to which the other smiled brightly.

“Alright, take care! Don’t get too grumpy!” Seungkwan called out before slamming the door a bit too loudly, making the short hacker groan once again.

“ _Loud!_ ”

 

 

——

 

 

“Everything hurts.” Soonyoung groaned with upper body slouched over the kitchen table. He had moved there at some point, honestly he wasn’t sure when, but it was somewhere before Jeonghan started making his magical hangover cure and after Jihoon nagged him to put on some pants in the kitchen.

“You said that already.” Jihoon complained from the seat next to his, the shorter boy not looking much better.

“That’s because it still hurts.” Soonyoung pointed out stubbornly, rubbing his face against the hard surface as if it would ease his headache. At least the room had stopped turning, that was an improvement.

“Well, it was your stupid idea.” The hacker grunted, and Soonyoung was thankful he was too tired to try to hit him.

“Hyung said it’d be fun…!” Soonyoung protested, though he was sure it wasn’t as convincing as he wished.

“Cheol thinks all stupid ideas are fun.” Jihoon grumbled.

“Hey!” The leader complained, yet he also seemed far too exhausted for a proper scolding. “It wasn’t a bad idea. Entirely.”

“Your stubbornness continues to amaze me.” The shorter replied in a dull tone, still managing to send him a glare despite his state.

“I’m serious.” Seungcheol insisted, looking at Jisoo to see if he’d back him up. The other seemed far away in his own world though, also slouching over the table with his face against his arms. Now that Soonyoung thought of it, he wasn’t even sure the older was awake. “We got to relax, vent out… We even learned more about each other. And we had fun, right? That’s the most important thing.”

“Why do you sound like a Sesame Street character?” Jihoon raised a brow, pulling his feet up on the chair to hug his knees.

“Bert and Ernie get wasted and learn that getting drunk and facing a hangover is worth it as long as you have fun.” Jeonghan quoted, finishing whatever step of his secret recipe he was on. Soonyoung didn’t really bother looking behind himself, but he could say the kitchen smelled considerably worse. “I must’ve missed that episode.”

“You probably wrote that episode.” Seungcheol muttered, though the other still caught it, if his laugh was anything to go for.

“Awh, you have a better sense of humor hungover.” Jeonghan pecked the top of the leader’s head as he leaned over the table to place down a pitcher of some red pasty liquid.

“Ugh, don’t make me throw up.” Soonyoung complained, yet that however Jeonghan didn’t seem to catch, as he ran his fingers through Jisoo’s hair and helped him sit up once again.

“Don’t be grumpy or you’re not getting any of my magical cure.” Jeonghan reprimanded, and Soonyoung decided to give in and sit up as well.

“Do we really want that?” Jihoon questioned as the second eldest brought now four glasses, placing one in front of each of them.

“If you want to be up and running in an hour, yes.” Their friend answered, filling every glass an inch from reaching the brim.

Soonyoung found himself leaning over a bit to look into his cup. The stench was even more prominent now, and he was sure he lost a nose hair or two with that sniff. It was as if someone had mixed rotten eggs and vinegar together, but it looked like some really dingy tomato soup. The kind you’d find in a gas station restaurant in the middle of nowhere during the hottest summer day.

“How do we know you’re not lying?” Soonyoung questioned, looking up at the older who now stood behind Jisoo and Seungcheol with each hand on the back of their chairs. “This could be just a prank.”

“And why would I do that?” Jeonghan pouted slightly, though he really shouldn’t take offense.

“Because you lie all the time?” Jihoon suggested.

Jeonghan seemed to nudge Seungcheol at that, who sighed in return. “He’s not lying, it’s legit.” Although Soonyoung would normally be suspicious, he figured Seungcheol really wasn’t in the mood for pranks right now. “I can vouch for it.”

The thief looked into his glass again, raising it slightly. “It looks like that thing we used to unclog the kitchen sink.” That coincidentally was also one of Jeonghan’s inventions.

“It’s the same base.” Jeonghan waved him off, and Soonyoung found himself whimpering at that.

“Jisoo-hyung?” He was a doctor. If this was bad for them, he should know, right? Not that a lot could be worse right now. Soonyoung already felt like he had ran uphill carrying a 5 ton cement block, and then fell down said hill with the same block. So really, how worse could it get?

The older simply sighed though, taking his glass and raising it to the others. “Cheers.” He announced far too tiredly for the purpose of the word and began drinking.

Taking one deep breath, Soonyoung did as the others and raised the cup to his lips, fearing what he was about to taste.

Well, if it was any comfort, it tasted exactly as it smelled.

 

 

——

 

 

“Hey,” Minghao called as he entered the bedroom. For some reason he was expecting the blinds to be down and the room to be pitch black, but instead he found himself in a fairly lit bedroom with the sunlight pouring over the unmade beds. “Any better?”

“Much better.” Junhui answered, the older boy sitting up on the bed he was previously lying on. He did lookbetter. At least less sickly and with his hair looking more like hair and less like an angry bird hat. “I’m kind of scared of that cure now.”

“Tell me about it.” Minghao snickered, plopping down on his own bed, next to the other’s. “Hansol wanted the recipe, but I honestly don’t wanna know what was in it.”

“It’s so weird, I feel like instead of drinking we went to a spa and have no recollection of it.” Minghao chuckled at his friend’s analogy, ever so amused by Jun’s comparisons.

“Oh no, I have clear recollection of you hiding behind Jihoon-hyung while Joshua scolded you for trying to show off wushu moves.” Or tried to hide, given his height. It only made it an even funnier sight though, especially if you considered how drunk the three of them were.

Junhui groaned, almost falling back on the bed again as he leaned back. “Can you not?” He pleaded, which made it even harder for the younger to hold back his laughter. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.” Minghao let out one last chuckle before he crossed his legs and pulled a pillow onto his lap, becoming much more comfortable. Though he doubted it was because of the pillow. Minghao would never admit it, given the reputation he had to uphold and his dislike for overly mushy things, but Jun had a way of making him feel at home, even when he wasn’t sure what home was.

“So you’re okay?” Minghao asked in Mandarin now, given it wasn’t uncommon for them to switch back and forth between languages when they were alone. “Like, really okay?”

The elder seemed a bit surprised by his question, though thankfully not in a bad way. “Yeah, I think.” He nodded twice, both feet up on the mattress with him as he held onto them, his legs spread and bent at the knees. “It might sound stupid, but it really helped, you know? Talking.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s kind of stupid that you didn’t know.” Minghao reasoned, glad the pout in his friends face was far from reprimanding. He knew he wasn’t the best with words, being a bit too blunt at times, and he was grateful Jun knew so as well. “I’m glad you talked, but you don’t need a reason to, you know? Like, I’m here, whenever.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Aaawwn, Hao.” Junhui cooed, the pout quickly replaced by a smug and proud smile. “Is that your way of saying you love me?”

“Shut up.” Minghao grumbled, tempted to throw the pillow at his friend. “I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

The smugness in his smile gave way to a warmer grin, his eyes squinting a bit in happiness as well. “You are a great friend, Hao.”

Minghao muttered syllables he himself wasn’t sure what they meant, though he did sport his best annoyed face to keep away his embarrassment. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure it worked very well.

“It’s okay, your secret is safe with me.” Junhui chuckled as he got another glare, apparently immune to those now. Minghao should’ve known, he was with Jihoon after all. “So, what did you come in for?”

Minghao blinked at that, looking up at his friend once again. “What?”

“Come on, I know you didn’t come just to check on me.” Junhui reasoned, and damn it, he wished the other didn’t know him that well.

“How are you so sure? I thought you said I was a great friend.” Minghao pointed out, stubbornly trying to escape the same conversation he came in for. He had no idea why he did that, why he liked making things harder than they needed to be. He just had issues. Given how he had been brought up, he figured he had the right to be a bit messed up.

“You are, but so am I.” The older bragged, though he seemed more inviting then off-putting. Minghao still had no idea how the other did that. “And I can see when something’s bothering you.”

The younger breathed in, shoulders sagging a bit as he let the air out. “It’s not bothering me.” He tried. “I mean, it wasn’t. Not until last night, I guess. I don’t know.”

He really didn’t know. Because until the previous night, everything was fine. Before that night, he was just Xu Minghao. He lived with 12 other guys, he worked as a thief, and he liked frogs. Before last night, Mingyu was his best friend. Yet now he didn’t know.

“Did something happen?” Jun’s previous glee was now replaced with concern, which showed in the small frown he sported.

“Kind of, yeah. Not something bad, just… Something weird.” Minghao pressed his lips together, looking for a way to word it properly. How could he even put it? “Maybe it wasn’t even anything.”

“If you tell me I can help you figure it out.” Junhui suggested, not pushed, because he never pushed.

“Fine, just, don’t laugh.” Minghao warned, even if he knew it was needless. Taking another deep breath, he tried to collect his nerves, and his courage. “Last night, after you all went to bed and left Mingyu and I to clean all the mess by ourselves,”

“I could do without the sass.” Junhui reminded him, but the younger continued nonetheless.

“We were just, I don’t know, getting ready to sleep and…” Minghao pursed his lips, doubting his own words. “He called me cute.”

“What?” Junhui blinked, though Minghao wasn’t sure if it was surprise he saw in his eyes.

“Mingyu called me cute.” Minghao repeated, and it sounded even more stupid as he did so. “He said something like I look cute when I’m angry, and then he said I’m his favorite person.”

“O…kay…” Jun spoke slowly, as if he was trying to figure out what Minghao was feeling. The younger wished him luck, given he didn’t even know it himself. “Did he say anything else?”

“Nothing relevant, he was drunk off his mind.” Minghao reasoned, fingers pushing back his brown hair. “And he didn’t say anything this morning, so I doubt he remembers.”

“Aah…” Junhui nodded, as if everything made sense now. “So you’re upset he doesn’t remember?”

“What? No–“ Minghao frowned, confused by his friend’s conclusion. “Why would I be upset?”

“Because you like him?” Jun asked with so much innocence in his voice Minghao knew he wasn’t joking.

“Like…?” Minghao’s eyes widened at that, finding the other’s accusation simply preposterous. “I don’t like–!“ The shorter quickly lowered his voice, looking around as if to make sure no one else heard that. “I don’t like Mingyu!” He almost whispered shouted.

“Minghao, please.” Junhui frowned then, looking genuinely annoyed, something that didn’t happen so often.

“Why the hell would you think I like him?” Minghao scoffed, wondering how his friend even got to that assumption.

“Seriously?” Junhui raised an accusing brow, as if asking if Minghao really wanted him to go there. And oh, he went there. “You two are always together, you go to movies together, you buy clothes together!”

“So? Friends do that.” Minghao replied, because friends did do that, right? It wasn’t unusual.

“Yes, but friends don’t cuddle in the couch that can barely fit one.” Minghao gasped, wondering how the other even knew. “Oh please, who do you think put the blanket on you?”

“Still,” The younger insisted. “We were just drunk. Plus, you cuddle with people all the time!”

“Yes, but I’m me. It’s normal for me.” Junhui shrugged, clearly far too pleased with himself.“Listen, I’m all for letting feelings take their time, I’m with Jihoon for crying out loud, but you’re really pushing it.”

“I’m not pushing it. We’re friends.” Minghao repeated for what felt like the tenth time.

“Alright, last Christmas, what did you give him?” Jun asked with an almost resigned sigh. “Just answer it.” The older cut him off before he could ask why.

“A toy.” Minghao answered with a shrug.

“An old toy rabbit he used to love as a kid and that has not been sold for the last ten years. You had to search through three different websites to find that damn toy in mint condition, and it cost much more than a simple ‘toy’.” Junhui corrected him, and it scared Minghao how much he knew.

“So?” The younger grumbled, afraid of the conclusion he was getting to now.

“You gave _me_ a gift card to Baskin Robbins.” Junhui added, his skeptical brow still up and judging him. “No that I didn’t love it, but what does that tell you?”

It didn’t tell him anything. He didn’t like Mingyu more than Jun. Jun was like a brother, it was different. He loved him, even if he’d never say it with those exact words, and he knew his friend would love ice cream anyway.

Mingyu had a different taste. Plus, Minghao just happened to remember about how he lost his favorite toy when he was a kid and he never found it again. He remembered the way he talked about the pink rabbit, how he told him his secrets and believed the plush bunny understood all his problems. So he knew his friend would love the gift.

And so what if it was hard to find? It was totally worth it. Mingyu looked so damn happy, with that stupid grin of his and his voice pitches higher than it normally was and hugging him far too much. Minghao liked seeing him like that. He’d do it all over again if it meant he’d see him as happy as that. Seeing Mingyu so happy was the best gift he could’ve gotten.

“…Fuck.” Minghao blurted out, looking up at his friends in both realization and despair. “I like Mingyu.”

“Thank you!” Junhui let out, raising his arms before he fall back on the bed.

Instead of being pleased, however, Minghao groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Well, why didn’t you tell me!?” The younger complained, looking at his friend who now struggled to sit up once again. “Ugh, I can’t believe I like Mingyu, of all people. What the hell did I do to deserve that!?””

“I wanted to give you time! I didn’t know you would take so fucking long.” Junhui pointed out with a frown. “What’s so wrong with liking him, anyway?”

“He’s an idiot!” Minghao exclaimed. “He’s a clumsy idiot. He keeps hitting himself on things, he’s way too naive for the things we gotta do, he’s basically a giant puppy that has to be taken care of 24/7.” The younger complained, though he didn’t miss the grin growing on his friend’s face. “What?”

“You’re adorable.” Junhui cooed, and this time Minghao did throw the pillow at his face.

“Shut up, this is serious! What do I even do now?” The younger groaned once again, far too displeased with his realization.

“Tell him you like him too.” Junhui shrugged as if that was the easiest thing in the world to do.

“You’re kidding, right? I don’t even know if he likes me.” Minghao pointed out with a frown.

“He said you’re his favorite person.” Junhui reasoned. “Plus, he was drunk. Drunk people are honest.”

“Drunk people are also overly affectionate.” Minghao added, cursing his friend for trying to get his hopes up. “And he said I’m his best friend. That’s all he sees me as.” His shoulders dropped a bit at the thought that not hours ago made him so happy.

“Okay, no, don’t even.” Junhui shook his head quickly, looking almost offended. “What did you expect him to say? I love you and I want to kiss you and hug you and share my food with you?” The older asked, though he gave him no time to answer. “Just because he sees you as a best friend right now that doesn’t mean he can’t see you as something else too. Being called a best friend is like the best compliment someone could get, don’t make it a bad thing. Plus, just a second ago you saw him as nothing more than that, too.”

Fuck, he hated when Jun was right. Which happened to be more often than he cared to admit, when it came to his feelings. Minghao bit at his bottom lip, looking down at his hands now he had nothing to hold. “Even so… I don’t wanna fuck up our friendship.” Was it even worth the risk? He’d just figured out his feelings, was it worth risking such a close friendship for something he wasn’t even sure of?“He’s my best friend, Jun.”

“I understand.” Junhui nodded, and his expression became much softer in an instant. “I do, really. But I think the friendship you guys have is stronger than you think. Maybe something will happen, maybe it won’t work out, but will you really let that stop you from being his friend?” Minghao remained quiet, taking a moment before shaking his head. “And I’m pretty sure Mingyu wouldn’t let that happen either.”

Minghao would say so, but he knew Jun was right. The boy was loyal, sometimes too much so, and he wouldn’t let their friendship dissolve over something silly. Still, it was scary.

“Look,” Junhui called for his attention again, as if he could sense his apprehension. Honestly, Minghao wouldn’t be surprised if he could. “There’s no hurry, right? Just take your time to see how you feel, and if you need anything, I’m here. Sounds good?” He smiled softly, and how could Minghao be mad at that?

“Sounds awful.” The younger muttered stubbornly, yet still he sighed, nodding a bit. “But yeah, I’ll do that.” He gave in, finding himself smiling a bit at his older friend. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad thing that Junhui knew him so well.

“Good.” Jun nodded as well, pushing himself up off the bed. “Now I gotta have a word with the other thief.” His tone turned from cheerful to displeased, making Minghao the one to raise a brow now.

“What’d he do?” The younger questioned as Jun paused by the door.

“He know what he did.” The taller squinted ominously, standing there for a while as if to give emphasis to his statement before leaving the room.

Minghao had no idea what that was about, but honestly, he had other things to worry about now.

 

 

——

 

 

There was no arguing Jeonghan’s magic potion worked like a charm. In fact, Mingyu would say it worked too well. Not only was he no longer hungover, but his mind was so clear it made space for all kinds of concerns. Concerns he’d rather not have bothering him, thank you very much.

“Why do I have to clean the dishes?” Wonwoo complained while Mingyu cooked dinner not too far from him. Like promised, he was making some fried fish for Jun. Though being the great friend he was he had also some chicken done for the picky one.

“Because I’m cooking and I am not touching the blender Jeonghan-hyung used.” The younger pointed out, though he kept an eye on the fish to make sure it wouldn’t burn.

“What’s got you so snappy?” Jeonghan questioned, sitting at the table along with Jisoo. The other seemed to have his nose buried in a book already. He wasn’t sure if that showed commitment or if it was just more proof that Jeonghan’s drink worked too well.

“I’m not snappy, I’m just scared something’s gonna jump out of that and bite me.” Mingyu argued, placing the cooked fillets on the plate before placing the raw ones in the frying pan. “I don’t know what you put in that thing.”

“Does it even matter? It worked, didn’t it?” The older pointed out, and although Mingyu didn’t look back at him, he knew he was sporting a smirk.

“It matters if it ruins my blender.” Mingyu muttered with a slight pout, not missing the snicker that came from Wonwoo.

“Hyung’s right, something’s bothering you.” The hacker agreed, now taking the challenge of the blender. The only reason Mingyu didn’t bother snapping back was because he spotted the disgust in his friend’s face. _Good_.

“I’m just worried.” Mingyu admitted with a shrug, making sure no oil spat back at him from the pan. “About Seokminnie.”

“About his teacher?” Jeonghan asked, reading him too accurately for someone who couldn’t even see his face.

“Yeah.” Mingyu wet his lips, flipping the fillets. “I just wonder why he never told us? Like, I get he’s close to Seungkwan, but we’re close too…” He wasn’t jealous, not really. He just knew he could rely on Seokmin for a lot of things, so he wished his friend would feel the same way about him.

“I don’t think it’s about being close.” Wonwoo offered, still fighting with the weird goo stuck at the bottom of the blender cup. “Seokmin doesn’t like making a big deal out of things. Well, that kind of thing.” The older reasoned, knowing the boy did enjoy making a scene ever so often, though mostly about happy occasions. “I think he just thought it’d eventually pass, didn’t want us to worry.”

“I know, I get that.” Mingyu nodded, using the tongs to change the fillets once again. “But I don’t want him to think he can’t come to us for help. He doesn’t have to deal with things alone.” They were the same age, so Mingyu felt like they had a special connection. Not to mention Seokmin was incredibly easy to talk to. Therefore, it worried him when his friend would rather face his problems on his own than come to him for help.

“Maybe that’s exactly what he wants.” Jisoo suggested, finally looking up from his book. Mingyu only knew because he looked back as well after turning off the stove. “To deal with things alone.”

“But why?” Mingyu wondered, placing the last slices on the plate.

“I think because of how positive he is, we think Seokminnie needs to be protected.” Joshua explained, and Wonwoo seemed to turn to look at him as well. “But he’s seen a lot, too. More than most of you guys. I mean, we see a lot of things in the hospital.”

And Mingyu understood that, though he wasn’t sure how that had to do with his friend not wanting help. “But there’s nothing wrong with needing help.”

“But Shua’s right, it’s not really about that, it’s about doing things on his own.” Jeonghan continued, fixing his hair back. “I think he wants to feel independent. If he hasn’t told us, maybe it’s because he trusts himself to work things out. So we should trust him too.”

“Huh,” Mingyu blinked, now getting what the elder two meant. “That makes some sense, I guess.”

“What makes sense?” Seungkwan asked as he joined them in the kitchen, still wearing his coat. “Oh, fish!”

“Nothing.” Wonwoo dismissed him quickly, knowing it was time to close the discussion. “How was your test?”

The younger blinked, already stealing a piece of fish from the plate. Mingyu simply rolled his eyes, handing him a napkin so he wouldn’t make a mess. “A torture.” Seungkwan sighed, taking a bite of the fish. “But I think it went okay.”

“That’s good.” Jeonghan praised as the younger joined them on the table. “How long was it? I thought you were coming home earlier.”

“Oh, no,” Seungkwan shook his head, swallowing his food before he spoke again. “Something really weird happened, so there was a delay.”

“What happened?” Mingyu frowned, crossing his arms in confusion.

“I’m not sure, the teacher just got in really late.” The younger licked his lips before taking another bite, seemingly not concerned with speaking with his mouth full. “And then he talked about how all his tires had holes in them, and the hood of his car was scratched. He looked pretty roughed up too.”

“Was he mugged or something?” Wonwoo asked, all of them looking quite worried. Well, most of them. For some reason, Jeonghan seemed to be more worried about taking the jacket off Seungkwan and hanging it on his chair.

“I don’t know, we tried asking but he just looked really nervous.” Seungkwan shrugged, finishing the small fillet he had in hand. “I don’t wanna say it serves him right, but I can’t feel too bad about him.”

“Wait, is he that dick professor?” Mingyu blinked, surprised at his friend’s nod.

At that, Jisoo seemed to immediately glare at Jeonghan, though the older seemed unaffected. “Seungkwan, can you go get Cheol for me?”

“Sure hyung.” The younger answered with a bit of doubt in his voice, but he got up and left nonetheless.

“ _Jeonghan_.” Jisoo called then in a much more reprimanding tone than he usually used on the other.

“What?” The older blinked innocently, looking back at his boyfriend.

“Don’t ‘ _what_ ’ me, what did you do?” The younger frowned, and only now did Mingyu understand.

“Wait, did you go after the teacher?” He questioned in awe, though his hyung’s face was as impassive as always.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Jeonghan shrugged, though Wonwoo was already snickering at the scene. “We just went out for groceries, that’s all.”

“You didn’t happen to track him down and trash his car?” Jisoo raised a brow, clearly not believing any part of his little act.

The older gasped, expression scandalized as if the other had accused him of some profanity. “How could you even think that of me?” Mingyu almost answered that it was because they knew him, but he chose not to feed the act. “Of course I did no such thing! Even if he totally deserved it and in fact deserved much worse but whoever did that to him probably chose not to go too far and just give him a warning.”

Joshua sighed at that, pinching the bridge of his nose. Wonwoo, on the other hand, seemed to be chuckling to himself.

“What about trusting him?” Mingyu snickered, questioning Jeonghan’s words from just moments ago.

“I trust Seokminnie fully.” Jeonghan argued, placing a hand on his chest as if to show how serious he was. “But I wouldn’t argue with anyone who believes that who messes with Seokminnie needs to pay.”

Mingyu grinned, though he couldn’t agree more. He trusted Seokmin fully, he truly did. But whoever messed with his friend deserved to get his tires slashed and the hell scared out of him. 

 

 

——

 

 

Seungcheol sighed, sitting down by the coffee table that was now back in place. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous. Okay, maybe he had a clue. Seungcheol liked going into things with a bit of a plan. Perhaps not an extremely detailed one, because honestly that was impossible when you tried keeping a conversation in their group, but he liked to have a general outline of things.

However, right now he felt like he couldn’t even get an outline. He had no idea how things would go. Would they be angry? Confused? Would they not even care at all? Seungcheol had no fucking idea, and it was probably why it made him more nervous than normal. Thankfully, Jeonghan and Joshua seemed to spot his anxiousness, and either by coincidence or some weird telepathy they both placed their hands on his knees, sitting next to him.

“Do we all really need to be here?” Soonyoung complained, plopping down on the couch where Hansol and Minghao were already sitting. The rest of them were scattered around the coffee table, with Jihoon on the arm chair and Wonwoo and Junhui sitting on the floor in front of him. Chan, Mingyu and Seokmin sat on the other side of the table, with their controllers laying uselessly on said table. “If Mingyu wins Jihoon has to buy me food.”

“Then you’ll starve.” Wonwoo teased, his smirk unaffected by Mingyu’s glare.

“You can finish your game later.” Jeonghan waved them off. “We need everybody here, alright? It concerns everyone.”

“Is it as important as you’re making it sound or are you just making too much drama again?” Jihoon wondered, and Jeonghan gasped in such a way Seungcheol wondered if he was even acting.

“When have I _ever_?” He sounded as insulted as he looked with a hand on his chest as his brows pulled together.

“When Chan refused to go with you to buy Christmas decorations?” Hansol suggested, and Seungcheol remembered that day. Well, ‘drama’ was one way to put it.

“My reaction was perfectly normal. It was our Christmas tradition!” Jeonghan complained, and yes, the leader could see Jihoon’s point now.

“Please, not again.” The youngest whined, leaning his head back.

“It’s not like that this time.” Seungcheol clarified, pressing his lips together. “It’s serious, this time.”

For some reason, that seemed to take the humor out of the conversation. The rest of them looked between each other, as if trying to figure out what this could be about.

“Is it bad?” Hansol asked, with a tone more serious than Seungcheol would expect from him.

“No, it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not good either, just…” The leader sighed, pushing his hair back. He found comfort in the way Jisoo smiled at him, soft but filled with encouragement.

“Does it have something to do with your confession?” Seungkwan asked now, and the leader was not surprised he remembered. Seungkwan paid attention to a lot of things, despite his usual playful demeanor. Plus, he was the only one fully sober.

“Yes.” Seungcheol answered with a nod, glad his headache was far away by now, though he also feared another would come soon. “It’s something I should’ve told sooner,”

“We.” Jeonghan corrected him. “We should’ve told sooner.” Seungcheol thanked him with a small smile, though he was serious again when he looked at the others.

“Well, I don’t know if it’s your intention, but you’re making it seem like we should be scared or something, hyung.” Chan admitted, his voice light as it always became when he was indeed a bit scared.

“It’s nothing to be scared of.” Maybe he was the one making too big a deal out of it. It was nothing terrible, really. He was afraid of how they’d react, but maybe they’d take it well. They were being pretty mature so far. Perhaps it was all in Seungcheol’s head.

“Then just say it, Cheol.” Jihoon blurted out, ever so honest.

“Something happened when you were at the hospital.” Seungcheol replied, though now he looked at the oldest Chinese member, who was visibly surprised. Still, the younger nodded lightly, as if taking in the close to nothing amount of information he just got.

“Okay…” Jun replied, and Soonyoung was soon cutting in.

“Is he okay?” The thief asked, all the playfulness in his voice replaced with concern.

“Yes, he’s alright.” Jisoo was also quick to answer, probably afraid to worry them even further. “It’s nothing medical.” The doctor added, just to be sure.

“Well, then what is it?” Minghao asked out, surprisingly silent until now.

Seungcheol took a deep breath, looking at Junhui once again. This was ridiculous. They had been stalling long enough, it was about time he said it already. It was fine, they could do it, he could do it. _Just say it_.

“Ming Ming came to see you.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS FIC AND LEAVING COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND EVERTHING WOW LIKE 300 KUDOS WHEN I TAKE LIKE 2 WEEKS TO UPDATE SRSLY THANK YOU
> 
> I know I have no schedule, I just wanted to explain that I truly intended to update earlier, but last week has been full every single day and although I WANTED to write I truly didn't have time.
> 
> And then I take two weeks to give you this mess and a shitty cliffhanger- I'M SO SORRY OK PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I HATE ME ENOUGH  
> And the little china line talk came out a bit too long I know I'm sorry I just couldn't cut it short. Like I read it over and over again to see if there was anything I could cut out or anywhere I could split it but it would just ruin the flow. (I know it's hard to believe but the scenes are meant to have a flow-)
> 
> But once again, thank you so much for all the comments and hits and everything, really.  
> Please, don't be afraid to let me know what you think about the fic. I love reading and replying to comments, seriously.
> 
> And if you spot any typos please please pleASE let me know. You'll be helping me so much you got no idea. Like always, I reread these things a bunch of times before posting but I always miss a typo or two orz
> 
> ~~ohoho is that a new tag I see~~


	20. I’ll protect them for sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others seemed to quiet down at that, with a feeling of shame downing over them. “It’s not fair to give him hope.” Minghao spoke in a much softer tone than before, and Jihoon could see so clearly how the boy was just trying to look after his friend.
> 
> “Whether he sees hope in this or not, that’s not our choice.” Jihoon pointed out. “I know we’re just trying to protect him. The fact is we should’ve protected him before, and we failed, and he…” Jihoon swallowed down the lump in his throat. “He got hurt. And perhaps since then we got a bit too protective, but we can’t do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure if I should write something about what happened earlier last week, but I feel it is wrong to make no mention.  
> There's a lot I'd like to say, but I feel like all has been said and I don't want to keep repeating it.  
> But I do want to say one thing.  
> If you're feeling lost, bad about yourself, sad, angry, sick, anything, and I mean anything, please speak out.  
> Please talk to someone. It can be your family, your friends, a doctor, even me. I'm always open.  
> But whatever you do, please don't suffer in silence.  
> You deserve to feel better about yourself, you have the right to, and if you're not feeling that way then there is absolutely no shame in calling for help.  
> Please, don't hurt alone.  
> [Link ](https://www.imalive.org/)to chat like hotline
> 
> [List](http://deadinparadice.tumblr.com/post/119568503070/dont-ever-hesitate-reblog-this-tumblr-rule) of suicide hotlines worldwide
> 
> You did well

 

It was more morning than night now. Jun had already been moved to his own room, but Seungcheol was yet to tell the others in the apartment. That was only because he himself was exhausted. His feet were throbbing, his eyes were dry, and he could give anything to be in his bed right now.

Yet at the same time, he was certain he wouldn’t be able to sleep even if he tried. So much had happened in one night, so much went wrong, and he couldn’t rest. He had to be strong, be reasonable, because he could see everyone else was on the verge of breaking down. And so was he.

But Seungcheol was the leader, he needed to be strong.

After sending Chan and Wonwoo to get them some food from the cafeteria, the older walked back into the room, hoping to at least rest a bit on the larger arm chair. Seungcheol sighed, pushing his dark hair back as he walked into the dimly lit room.

“Uh? You’re back already?” The oldest raised a brow when he glimpsed at someone standing by the foot of Jun’s bed. Probably Wonwoo, given the height.

“Hey, Seungcheol.” The leader’s eyes widened once he recognized the voice, and he didn’t waste a second.

Before he could even hold himself back, he was grabbing the boy and pushing him up against the closest wall, his forearm pressing against his neck. If his mind was functioning with any more reason, he would realize what a ridiculous thing he was doing. But right now, Seungcheol had abandoned reason. He was tired, he was hurt, and he was furious.

“Give me one reason not to kill you.” Seungcheol spat, looking the other in the eye as he barely struggled.

“That sounds too dark even for you, Seungcheol.” Ming Ming teased, though he had no hint of amusement in his eyes.

“One fucking reason.” Seungcheol warned, pulling the other back a bit only to push him harder against the wall. Perhaps it was a childish thing to do, but it did give him some satisfaction.

“Because we’re in a hospital and your boyfriend can only do so much to cover for you?” Ming Ming reasoned, but again, Seungcheol was beyond reason.

“I can handle that.” Seungcheol pointed out.

“Then I guess there’s no reason.” Ming Ming breathed out, his eyes looking bleak.

Seungcheol’s jaw clenched as he held the other up. “Self pity won’t help you.”

“I think we both know it’s not so much self pity as it is common sense right now.” The younger smirked, though again, it lacked any amusement.

Against his own better judgement, Seungcheol decided to put him down, pulling back. “If you try to hurt him–“

“I already did.” Ming Ming pointed out, looking back at the bed. And there his friend was, lying down with a breathing mask and looking much paler than he should. “How is he?” His voice was different. Low, defeated.

Seungcheol was too tired for this shit. He wanted to hate Ming Ming, and he did, with blinding fury. Yet a tiny part of him felt like pitying him. Because they were once friends, he was once his leader too. But fuck, he hated that part.

“Not great, but could be worse.” Seungcheol admitted, looking back at Jun as well. It almost gave him goosebumps, seeing his friend so still, so quiet. “Guess your aim is not the same anymore.”

“I didn’t miss.” Ming Ming mumbled.

“You telling me you intended to hit his fucking rib?” Seungcheol snickered, incredulous.

“I don’t miss, Seungcheol.” Ming Ming repeated, looking back at him now.

“Then what are you saying?” Seungcheol scoffed, turning towards him. “That we should be thankful that you hit a bone instead of his heart? That you’re some sort of savior?” He let out a dry laugh. “You still fucking hurt him! If we hadn’t gotten here in time–“

“But you did, didn’t you?” Ming Ming raised his voice as well, his calm exterior threatening to break. “I did what I had to do.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Seungcheol frowned. He couldn’t do this, not now. He couldn’t help everyone else when he could barely help himself.

Ming Ming didn’t reply, however. He pressed his lips together, looking back at the boy on the bed. He took a step closer, but nothing more. Not that Seungcheol would let him touch him. “Do you think he’d forgive me?” He asked softly, brows twitching together.

“…Do you think you deserve to be forgiven?” Seungcheol asked with a scowl.

“No. Not now, at least.” The younger admitted, smiling bitterly. “But it’s Jun.”

As much as Seungcheol hated him right now, he was right. Jun was never one to hold grudges, even when he should. “Then probably. He’s too forgiving, anyway.”

“He’s too trusting.” Ming Ming corrected him, looking back at the leader.

“I find that a quality.” Seungcheol pointed out, staring him in the eyes.

“A dangerous quality.” Ming Ming added, eyes fleeting for a moment before they focused back on Seungcheol. “But that’s why he has you, right?” He smirked. “I knew you’d take care of him.”

“Someone had to, after you left.” Seungcheol replied.

“No one _has to_ take care of anyone, Seungcheol. We choose to.” Ming Ming corrected him once again, wetting his lips.

“And you chose not to.” A low blow, maybe, but Seungcheol wasn’t above those right now. “You chose to leave him.”

Ming Ming had no answer to that. Instead, he glanced back at Jun. “I didn’t miss, Seungcheol.”

“You said that already.” His brows furrowed in a bit of confusion.

“Because I didn’t.” Ming Ming repeated. “It wasn’t supposed to…” He licked his lips, as if he could utter the word. “It was supposed to warn.”

“Warn about what?” The leader frowned now, stepping closer.

“Let this one go.” The younger spoke firmly. “These people aren’t what you’re used to, Seungcheol. Don’t go after them.”

Seungcheol wanted to ask, wanted to push him back against that wall and ask him what the hell he was talking about. But he was exhausted, and as much as he still wanted to kick his ass right now, this wasn’t about him or Ming Ming. So he let the other walk past him, turning around to watch him leave.

“Are you happy?” Seungcheol asked.

Ming Ming paused, holding the door open for a moment. “It’s not about happiness, anymore.” He replied without turning around, closing the door behind him once he left.

 

 

——

 

 

“What?”

Junhui had to ask, because he wasn’t sure he heard it right the first time. It couldn’t be, right? Seungcheol hadn’t even spoken that fast, yet Jun felt as if the words had rushed right past him, with no intent of reaching his ears. He needed to hear it again, needed to make sure he wasn’t just daydreaming and caught some odd words in one sentence.

“Ming Ming came to see you in the hospital.” The leader repeated, this time with a small explanation in addition, though it helped him no more.

“What are you talking about?” It was Wonwoo who asked now, and he sounded a bit angry. Junhui wasn’t sure if he shared the sentiment. He had no idea what he felt right now. “That doesn’t make sense, we were with him the whole time.”

He was right, it didn’t make sense. So much so Junhui wasn’t sure if his mind had infinitely slowed down to help him understand, or if it had sped up to the point he couldn’t keep up.

“It was right after you got moved to your room.” Seungcheol began explaining once again, and Jun knew the leader had his eyes on him, but as much as he looked back he couldn’t see him. Couldn’t focus on him. “Wonwoo and Chan had left to get food, I was just talking to Shua and when I got back… He was there.”

“What do you mean he was there? How did he even get in?” Jun would be grateful of Mingyu’s concerned questioning, if he wasn’t so curious to find out what the fuck was going on as well.

“We don’t know, there’s no record.” Jisoo answered this time. “Wouldn’t be the first time someone snuck in the hospital.” He pointed out, basing it on his own experience.

“This isn’t just sneaking in, he could’ve hurt him!” Minghao complained, as protective as always.

“Why was he there?” Jun knew his voice was low compared to the others’, but in his head it was the loudest one. Or at least that question was, pounding and ringing in his ears, begging for an answer.

“I don’t know, I…” Seungcheol seemed to struggle at how to continue, looking at the two next to him for some assurance. “I’ll be honest, because that’s the least you deserve.” Junhui wasn’t sure if he should take that as a bad thing or a good thing, so he simply nodded, trying to brace himself for what was to come.

“He wasn’t there to hurt you, that much I am sure. He just… He didn’t say much. I wasn’t exactly happy to see him either, as you can imagine, so I didn’t ask much. I don’t know, maybe I could’ve gotten more out of him, but…” The leader sighed, Jisoo’s hand rubbing the other’s sagging shoulders. “He asked how you were doing, I told him you’d be okay, no thanks to him…” Jun felt as if he should flinch at that, but instead he simply placed his palms over his face, rubbing his eyes with his fingers. It was all too much, even if Seungcheol was the only one speaking. “We didn’t talk a lot, but… He said he didn’t miss.”

Junhui breathed in at that, his hands sliding up his face and pushing his hair back. Seungcheol seemed to give him a moment before continuing. “I didn’t really believe him, and even if I did, I told him it didn’t matter, he still hurt you. But he said he knew what he was doing.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jihoon muttered, less angry yet more hurt than Jun expected.

“He said he was giving us a warning.” Seungcheol’s tone shifted slightly, now directing his words to everyone in the room. “That we’re meddling with things we shouldn’t go against, and then… And then he left.”

“Fuck.” Junhui breathed, tugging at his own hair a bit before throwing his head back with a light chuckle, if one could even call it that.

“Jun…” Jeonghan called softly, but no amount of softness could help him right now.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jun mentally cursed at how weak his voice sounded, how hard it was not to break at the words. He couldn’t imagine what he looked like, but given the way Seungcheol’s eyes curved downwards in disappointment, it wasn’t pretty.

“We wanted you to get better first. You were hurt, gravely hurt, we didn’t wanna risk your recovery.” Seungcheol explained, looking between Jisoo and Jeonghan before looking back at Jun. “But we took too long, and I’m sorry. We were scared, we wanted to protect you, and it wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry.”

“We’re sorry.” Jeonghan corrected him like before, with voice dripping with sincerity.

Junhui understood. Or he should understand. He felt like he should, but he wasn’t sure he did anymore. Everything was a mess in his mind, feelings he should feel, questions he should ask, people he should judge, or shouldn’t. It was all going too fast.

“I can’t, I can’t do this.” The boy breathed out, burying his face in his hands. They couldn’t do this. He’d been fighting himself, fighting to convince himself that what had happened had happened, that there wasn’t more to it than what they had seen. He had tried so hard to let this go, and now it came running back.

They were dangling hope right in front of him, like bait on a hook. He was eager to take it, because that’s what he always did. He held onto hope, only to have himself hooked and dragged for miles and miles, then thrown back into the ocean as if it was nothing. And like a fish, he was eager to hold onto it once more. It didn’t matter how many times he got hurt, how many times they held hope in front of him only to take it away, he never learned.

And he was so, so fucking eager to hold on again. He wanted so much to believe Ming Ming never meant to hurt him, to believe something was going on and that his once best friend needed his help. But last time had hurt so much. Trusting him had hurt so damn much, and if hope happened to let him down once again, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it.

“Junnie…” Jun snapped out of his thoughts at Jihoon’s voice, looking back at the other who wore an expression Jun couldn’t read at the moment, and that was a first. The older felt his eyes water, but he was glad no tears were shed. He didn’t want them to see him like this, or at least he didn’t know what he wanted.

“I can’t… I gotta go.” The Chinese gulped, pushing himself up faster than he realized. They all looked as if they meant to stop him, but thankfully no one did.

“Hyung.” Hansol called softly, and it hurt Jun even more to see the pain on the younger’s face.

“We can talk about this.” Seungcheol offered, and it was probably best, honestly. However, Jun couldn’t do that, not right now.

“I just, I need some time alone.” Junhui clarified, and he should apologize, he should say something, but he couldn’t. It was unlike himself, to up and leave how he was doing, but he felt anything but himself at the moment.

“Jun…!” It was Soonyoung to call now, but Junhui was already out the door, with no idea where he should go. He just needed to get out.

 

 

——

 

 

“You shouldn’t have told him.” Minghao was the first to speak out after the older left. He looked angry, worried, a mixture of feelings that brought an unpleasant frown to his face. Jihoon couldn’t say any of the others looked any better, though.

“What? You wanted to keep this from him?” Hansol questioned, his brows pulled together with the rare judgmental tone.

“No, but I think they should’ve come to us first.” The Chinese defended, gesturing towards the other three who looked as guilty as they probably felt. Still, they didn’t look pitiful. The three of them had an open posture, as if they’d thought long and hard about the subject, and that Jihoon didn’t doubt the least.

“We didn’t want to corner him.” Jeonghan explained, his voice clear and patient. “It wouldn’t be fair to tell everyone else before telling him. How do you think he would’ve felt?”

“How do you think he feels now?” Wonwoo asked then, clearly not satisfied with the outcome either.

“Better than he would’ve felt if we’d told everyone else first.” Seungcheol insisted. “What difference would it make, keeping it from him? It’s not like it would change the fact that Ming Ming was there.”

“No, but we could’ve found another way to come about it.” Minghao argued, this time standing up and crossing his arms. “Why didn’t you tell us at the time? Why didn’t you go after him? You were right in front of him!”

“Hyung,” Seungkwan tried to call him down by tugging on his arm, but Minghao didn’t really give in.

“And what? Should I have picked a fight in the middle of the hospital? While Jun was in the fucking bed?” Seungcheol argued, and though it wasn’t like himself to lose his temper, it wasn’t something completely knew either. Jihoon knew his friend. Seungcheol was righteous, but he also stood firm to his beliefs, and sometimes that got the best of him.

“You saw what he did to Junnie, hyung.” Soonyoung voiced out, his tone much lower compared to the two, but he didn’t sound very apologetic either. “Why did you let him get away?”

Seungcheol sighed, pushing the dark strands of his hair back as if he was running out of places to go. It was Joshua who spoke next though, sounding as impartial as he could. “He didn’t do it on purpose.” The American defended. “He was hurt and tired. We all were that night. I don’t know what I would’ve done, as I’m sure none of you do either. So cut him some slack. He screwed up, but things could’ve gone much worse than they did.” It wasn’t usual for Jisoo to use such a cold and harsh tone, but it worked on getting some sense into all of them.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Seungcheol breathed out, looking up at them with tired eyes. Jihoon could see it, how that secret had been eating him out from inside for weeks. He almost felt bad for his friend, but his concern for Jun at the moment took a larger part of his feelings. “Things could’ve gone much better too, I know, and I’m sorry. But it was all I could do at the time. I told Han and Jisoo because I couldn’t handle it alone, I didn’t know what to do.”

“We understand, hyung. We just wish you could’ve told us sooner.” Seungkwan reasoned, his voice much softer in comparison to the others.

“We know. We just thought that everyone was getting so much better, feeling so happy… We wanted to give you some time to feel good.” Jeonghan explained in a motherly tone, teeth digging on his bottom lip.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have told him at all.” Minghao suggested, sitting back down with a defeated expression.

“He deserved to know.” Jisoo pointed out. “It concerns him more than anyone else in this room.”

“I’m with Hao.” Wonwoo let out, leaning back against the front of the arm chair with an arm resting over his bent knee. “Just because he deserves to know doesn’t mean he has too. Maybe it would’ve been better if he didn’t.”

“How could that have been better?” Mingyu frowned, for once going against his friend.

“Because now he’s gonna spend every damn night awake wondering what the hell that jerk was doing there.” And Wonwoo had a point there. Jihoon had to agree, Junhui was one to consider everybody’s feelings. Even feelings that didn’t deserved to be considered. “Not one fucking second of Jun’s time should be wasted thinking about that guy’s intention. He had no right to be there in the first place.”

“It’s not that simple.” Soonyoung argued, though it lacked anyresemblance to their usual playful banter. “What would’ve happened if he found out? What would we have said to him? Oh yeah, your former best friend stopped by but we decided not to tell you ‘cause it wasn’t worth your time?”

“If there wasn’t anyone else there, he wouldn’t have found out.” Minghao pointed out.

“It still wouldn’t be our secret to keep.” Chan argued then, though he seemed torn between both sides. Jihoon figured he probably settled with his brother, still.

“It wasn’t theirs either and they kept it.” Wonwoo gestured to the elder three. “And look how great he was doing until now. I don’t care who Ming Ming was, he’s no longer a friend, not after the shit he pulled. Not after hurting Jun more than once now.”

“He wasn’t doing great.” Jihoon spoke out for the first time since the taller walked out, having all eyes turned on him. Maybe they expected him to have said something sooner, but honestly, he had no idea what to say. He wasn’t even sure how he was feeling.

A bit nauseous, maybe from the overload of information that had been dumped on them. He figured he was angry, too. Angry at Seungcheol for not coming to him before, angry at Wonwoo and Minghao for being so ignorant to their friend’s feeling. Yet anger wasn’t the overpowering feeling in his gut. Right now, he figured he didn’t care if Seungcheol or Wonwoo were right, he didn’t care if they should’ve told him or not. He cared about Jun. He cared about the fact that Junhui had left the apartment alone without saying where he went, because he never did that. He cared that the older was now somewhere alone with his feelings, feelings that were far from being anything pleasant. He was worried about Jun.

“He was doing better, but not great.” Jihoon clarified, standing up. “Just because he didn’t talk about it as much, it doesn’t mean he didn’t still think about it. It’d be foolish to think Jun ever stopped thinking about why Ming Ming was there.”

The others seemed to quiet down at that, with a feeling of shame downing over them. “It’s not fair to give him hope.” Minghao spoke in a much softer tone than before, and Jihoon could see so clearly how the boy was just trying to look after his friend.

“Whether he sees hope in this or not, that’s not our choice.” Jihoon pointed out. “I know we’re just trying to protect him. The fact is we should’ve protected him before, and we failed, and he…” Jihoon swallowed down the lump in his throat. “He got hurt. And perhaps since then we got a bit too protective, but we can’t do that.”

“You can’t blame us for wanting to protect him.” Mingyu pointed out with a frown, loyalty showing in his tone.

“I can’t, but no matter how much we try to shield him now, it won’t make up for the fact we already failed to do so before.” The words were bitter in his tongue, as Jihoon admitted his own fault in the whole thing.

“So? You want us to just stop caring for his feelings?” Wonwoo argued, still a bit stubborn.

“No, but if we hid this from him we wouldn’t be caring for them, we’d be neglecting them.” Jihoon put it bluntly. “It wasn’t their secret to keep, believe me, I’m not happy about that either.” The shorter threw a glance at their leader before continuing his argument. “But it’s not ours either. And arguing about it won’t make any fucking difference. Cat’s out of the bag now, and we can’t put it back. So instead of discussing whether we should’ve told him or not, we should be there for him.”

“He’s right.” Seokmin agreed, nodding. “If hyung is hurting again, it just means we should have his back even more. Fighting about it won’t help anyone.”

Jihoon sent a small but grateful smile in his friend’s direction, who thankfully replied with one of his own. He was glad Seokmin understood, though he was not surprised. What the boy lacked in stubbornness he more than made up for it in empathy.

“Just, figure yourselves out before making more of a mess out of this.” The hacker sighed, walking to the front door to slip on his shoes, grabbing a coat while at it.

“Where are you going?” Chan asked, as if worried about another of them leaving in the middle of the conversation.

“I’m gonna go find him.” Jihoon answered as he opened the door.

He was going to find him, and he was going to be there for him.

 

 

——

 

 

Fortunately, it wasn’t hard to find his friend. In fact, Junhui was in the first place Jihoon had thought of looking, the training gym. It was a relief to find him nonetheless, even if that relief was soon replaced by a cold shiver running down his spine. The closer he got to the other, the colder that shiver grew.

Junhui was sitting down on the old beaten training tatami, with his shoulders slumped and his head low. And for a moment, Jihoon felt himself stop. For a moment, his right foot wouldn’t move in front of the left, and he stood there, stuck. It’s not that he didn’t want to go to him, he did, truly. He wanted to be there for him, to help him, but could he?

He wasn’t Jeonghan, or Seungkwan, or even Soonyoung. He was just starting to get the hang of opening himself to others, he was in no place to be comforting anybody. He had the emotional fluency of a sea kelp. Wait, who was he kidding? He was worse than a damn sea kelp. And Junhui needed him and he was stuck in place frozen in a mix of anxiety and self doubt.

No, this wasn’t about him. For once, he wasn’t the one who needed someone to pry his feelings out of the damn cliché metaphorical wall he built around himself. For the first time, Junhui needed his help, and it didn’t have to do with computers or missions. So this wasn’t about if he could help him or not, it was about if he should help him. And given the amount of times Jun had been there for him, returning the favor was the least Jihoon could do.

So with renewed energy, the younger made his way over, plopping down next to the taller. For a moment, he simply sat there, wondering if Junhui wanted to break the ice. If the older was ignoring him or simply hadn’t noticed his presence, Jihoon wouldn’t know.

“Hey,” He tried, and it seemed to be the second option, as Junhui seemed to suddenly snap out of whatever thoughts were haunting him to look at his friend. “How are you?”

“I…” Jun wet his lips, fixing his posture a bit and already trying to slip on the mask he wore so well. “I don’t know. I’ll be okay, I guess.”

“Future me can care about how you will be, present me doesn’t give a fuck.” Alright, maybe that was a little rough. “I wanna know how you feel _now_.”

“Well, I told you.” Junhui pushed back his dark hair with a resigned sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Talk through it?” The younger suggested much like the elder had countless times before.

“Don’t steal my line.” Jun reprimanded playfully, though Jihoon remained unamused.

“Jun.” He insisted, raising a brow. Thankfully, the other didn’t insist on his act, simply sighing once again. Alright, that was an improvement, right? What could he do next? “Maybe you’re upset?” He tried suggesting.

“Why would I be upset?” Junhui questioned, not judging, but curious.

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Jihoon frowned, genuinely surprised. “You just found out your old best friend, who by the way, shot you, came to see you in the damn hospital. And your _current_ friends kept that from you for weeks.”

“Wow, how are you _not_ a psychiatrist?” Junhui snickered. “Honestly, you have a gift.”

The dry humor wasn’t common for the other, but Jihoon preferred that over fake smiles. “I’m just saying, you got more than enough reason to be upset. And mad, confused, whatever.”

“I am confused.” Junhui agreed with a slight groan, taking a breath as if to collect his thoughts. “I just,” He tried once again. “Nothing makes sense. I knew it, okay? Not that he was there, but I knew he wouldn’t hurt me for no reason. I knew there was more to it than just… Hurting me.”

Jihoon couldn’t describe how much those words hurt him. Because this was Junhui trying to excuse shitty behavior because he’s thinking of other people before himself. In times like these, Jihoon more than understood Minghao. However, he didn’t interrupt. He wasn’t there to talk, he was there to listen.

“But I spent so much time trying to let go of that. I tried, I really tried, and it hurt like shit to tell myself over and over again that Ming Ming didn’t fucking care.” Junhui gasped softly, as if he was running out of air. “And now they come and tell me that he did?” The grimace in his face was an easy dagger through that brick wall of his and straight into his damn heart. Fuck. “How the hell am I supposed to feel? I have no idea, Jihoonie.”

“Well, for starters, I’d be fucking furious.” Jihoon admitted, crossing his legs and rubbing his knees.

“At who?” Junhui wondered tiredly, because apparently even that was hard.

“I don’t know, at everybody. I wouldn’t fucking care. At the universe even, for pulling that kind of shit.” Jihoon threw his hands up in resignation. “Look at everything that happened in like, two months. You didn’t do anything to deserve that shit, so what gives? I’d be cursing my way through the solar system if I were you.”

Junhui’s eyes were open a bit too wide, as if enthralled by Jihoon’s response. A frown soon took over though, along with a decided nod. “Yeah, I’m angry. I am angry.” He repeated, and for once Jihoon could finally feel the frustration in his tone. “Like what the hell? First of all I see Ming Ming, and then I think wow, great! But then he fucking shoots me? And then he comes back for me?”

Perhaps this wasn’t the time, but Jihoon was so fucking proud. Finally, Junhui was letting it out. Finally, he was giving him a piece of his mind. So once again, Jihoon didn’t even think of interrupting him.

“And I can’t even do anything, you know? I can’t ask Ming Ming why the fuck he was there because I got no clue where he is. I can’t train, I can’t beat out my frustration. I wanna break every fucking thing in this room and I can’t and I–“ It was only with that gasp that Jihoon noticed the redness in the other’s eyes, the fat tears beginning to escape them, and that just fucking jabbed the dagger into his heart.

“So do it.” Jihoon blurted out, not knowing when his hand found it’s way onto the other’s upper back, feeling the sobs he attempted to hold back. “Get angry, break everything. You’re already hurt anyway, what’s it gonna do, fuck you up even more?”

Junhui gulped, looking back at Jihoon once again. “But Shua-hyung said–“

“Fuck what he said! He kept the truth from you, anyway.” Jihoon pointed out perhaps a bit too angrily, but in his defense he just wanted to spure Jun on a bit. “And fuck them too! Who told them they could keep a secret from you?”

“I know!” Junhui exclaimed. “They shouldn't have kept it from me! I… But I can’t be upset. They were just looking after me, you know they were…”

“I don’t give a fuck what they were trying to do!” Jihoon let out, gesturing towards the entrance door as if the three were hidden behind it. “It was still wrong, they still hurt you. So you wanna get angry? Get angry! Stop thinking about how you should feel and just feel it.”

“But I just… I..” The older swallowed down his voice, messily wiping his tears on his long sleeve before nodding quickly. “Y-Yeah, you’re right!” He sputtered. “They had no right to do that, right?”

“Right!” Jihoon agreed, relieved that Junhui was finally thinking of himself first.

“And screw the guys for blaming me about thinking of Ming Ming. And fuck Ming Ming for what he did!” Perhaps it wasn’t the time to grin, but Jihoon found himself smiling with excitement as he pushed himself up, much too proud of his friend.

“Yeah, fuck’em!” Jihoon cheered, looking around and rushing to grab a small dumbbell from the floor next to the pull up bars, quickly rushing back to the other. “Come on.”

Junhui seemed lost as he stood up as well, sniffling a bit. “What?”

“Throw it.” Jihoon placed the weight on the taller’s hand. “Come on, break something.”

Jun eyed the dumbbell on his hand before looking around the room, closing his hand around it. “I… But we shouldn’t–“

The hacker only groaned. “Don’t be a wuss. What are they gonna do, scold us? Just do it.” And for emphasis, the shorter threw a kick at the other’s ankle.

“Ow, hey–!” Junhui complained. “You’re really shitty at this, you know?”

“Throw the damn weight.” Jihoon frowned, unrelentless.

“Fine.” Junhui huffed, turning the weight a couple of times in his hand while looking around. Jihoon took a couple of steps back once the other seemed to aim at one of the doll dummies, pulling his arm back and finally throwing the damn thing.

And oh, it was beautiful. the bell hit right on the chest of the plastic doll, not only knocking it aside but properly causing a domino effect that took down three more dummies and two benches.

“Shit–“

“Awesome!” Jihoon let out, grinning from ear to ear.

“But the dolls–“ Junhui tried, being interrupted once again.

“Come on,” The shorter insisted, elbowing his side lightly. “Didn’t that feel great?”

Jihoon wasn’t sure if his own joy was becoming contagious, or if the weird therapy was working, but a smile slowly made its way through Junhui’s lips. “It was kinda cool.” He admitted with a shy yet mischievous grin.

“Told you.” Jihoon was perhaps a bit smug, but he didn’t dwell on it. “Just let it go, alright? Break things, be angry at them, it’s fine.”

“I know, I know, just… I don’t wanna hurt anybody.” Junhui explained, though he already seemed much more well resolved than when he had found him.

“You won’t. I’m angry at them all the time and they still fucking love me.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, though he did give in a little bit. “But if it makes you feel better, I can try to… Be a bit nicer, to them.” The younger suggested with a sigh. “That way I’ll compensate for you being angry.”

Junhui’s brow almost disappeared under his bangs, and Jihoon wondered if he should take offense. “Are you even capable of that?”

“I am trying to help here Junhui, don’t push it.” Jihoon warned with a frown, though the other soon snorted.

“You’re not trying, you _are_ helping, Jihoonie.” The taller threw an arm over his shoulder, and just for the sake of the moment, Jihoon didn’t push him off. “And I’ll take you on that, thanks.”

“Eh, it’s my job to take care of you.” The hacker shrugged, smirking up at the other.

“Then you’re doing a great job.” And if the dagger was suddenly replaced with a warm flood of emotions, Jihoon would insist it was just a coincidence.

 

 

——

 

 

Minghao should’ve expected someone to come after him, given the way he had stormed off to his room not too long after Jihoon. But what was he supposed to have done? Stayed there and talked? Seungcheol clearly wasn’t changing his mind, and honestly, neither would he. Plus, what difference would it make? Jihoon was right, what’s done is done. But he could still be angry about it.

What? He held grudges. Blame his personality or sign or something.

“Did you get the short straw now?” Minghao wondered as Hansol was the one to walk through the door. Not that he didn’t like the younger. Hansol and him got along incredibly well, actually, and hung out in a regular basis. But the American was rarely the one to talk sense into anyone, it just wasn’t his thing.

“Nah, I’d say Mingyu got it, he’s stuck with talking to Wonwoo.” Minghao would laugh if he hadn’t almost flinched at the first name. Well, he was sure glad Mingyu wasn’t the one to come to him. That was usually how it went, and most of the times it worked. However, since the previous night, Minghao found himself feeling slight odd next to the other.

Because whenever they were alone in a room together he’d start questioning his feelings for his best friend. He’d start over analyzing every damn word, every gesture, anything either of them would do. He’d try to figure out the meaning behind them, if they were simply normal words friends would exchange or if they had more feelings attached to them. And he had to do all that while trying not to let Mingyu know what as going on inside his head.

It was a pain in the ass.

So if a scolding from Vernon was what he’d get in exchange for not having to face his best friend, he’d gladly take it.

“Look.” The Chinese sighed, putting down the nunchucks he’d picked up not long before the boy had joined him and turning to look at him properly. “I know I lost my temper and all that, but I stand by my words.”

“I know, I get that.” Hansol nodded, sticking his hands deep into the pockets of his old stained hoodie. “I’m not here to change your mind.”

“You don’t seem to be here to hang either.” Minghao pointed out, raising a brow.

“Well, not right now.” Hansol admitted with a small smile before shrugging. “I’m not stupid– I’m not!” The younger insisted after receiving a slightly accusing glare from the taller. “I know you’re too stubborn and too protective to change your mind.”

Minghao chose to look pass the stubborn comment so he could finally get to it. “But you agree with Seungcheol?”

“No, I just think you gotta find a better way to put it.” Hansol frowned a bit before letting out a long sigh.

“So you want me to shut up?” Minghao accused.

“Sometimes? Yeah, I do.” Hansol blurted out, though there was no anger or judgment in his tone, as usual.

“And let them fuck everything up?” The older questioned, failing to hold back the tone of his voice.

Hansol groaned however, rolling his head. “Didn’t you hear Shua-hyung? They already fucked up. What’s the point of fighting about it?”

Minghao parted his lips to reply, but he couldn’t manage to find the words. Instead, he half turned around, looking around the room he shared with the others. It was messy, definitely needing a clean up. And he did not want to know what the hell was peeking out from under Hansol’s bed. He hoped it was an old fur coat, but he was pretty sure it moved.

“This isn’t about if they told him or not.” Hansol continued, noticing the other’s attempt to avoid the subject. “I know that’s not what you’re mad about.”

“I am mad about that.” Minghao insisted, glaring at his friend.

“Okay, then it’s not all you’re mad about.” Hansol reasoned, and well, Minghao figured that was obvious enough if Hansol could tell.

“Of course it’s not the only thing!” The older let out, pushing his hair back. “That guy that hurt him, that we don’t even know, came back. And they’re acting like it’s not fucking big deal. You’re acting like that!” He gesture to his friend, who seemed less than bothered by the whole ordeal. “How can you not be angry?”

“Who said I’m not angry?” It was the first time Hansol actually raised his voice, a frown adorning his face. “Of course I’m angry. You said it yourself. They talk of Ming Ming this, Ming Ming that, and all I know is that he shot our friend! Don’t you think I’m angry too?”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Minghao complained, confused yet also frustrated. Why was Wonwoo and him the only ones to speak up?

“Because it’s not about me!” Vernon let out, properly shutting Minghao up. The younger let out a long breath then, as if the simple act of getting angry had taken a toll out of him. “I don’t think any of us know what we’re dealing with here, hyung. We’ve never done this before. It’s like some next level Hamlet shit, and we’re lost as fuck, but it’s _not about us_.”

Minghao wasn’t sure when he had moved to his bed, but he found himself sitting down on the edge, elbows on his knees and head dropping. He was right, they had no idea of what was going on, and he was so tired of trying to figure it out. So tired and so angry.

“I’m just trying to do what’s best for him.” He admitted weakly, glancing at his friend who now sat next to him on the mattress.

“I know, we all know. And we’re all trying to do the same thing.” The younger’s voice as still as deep as always, but much warmer. “But I think Jihoon-hyung’s right, you know? The best we can do is to be there for him.”

“How? He doesn’t even wanna talk to us right now.” He had walked right out the door, like he had never done before. To say Minghao was lost was to state the obvious.

“He’s gonna wanna talk about it eventually, and we need to have his back.” Hansol explained, showing much more maturity than it could be expected from him. Though that was the thing about Hansol. He was a kid at heart, but he knew a lot more than he led on.

Minghao swallowed the words in his chest, nodding lightly. He still had many complaints, many questions, but Handol was right. Jihoon was right. This wasn’t about him. “What if he chooses to forgive him?” He felt his brows pulling together, his eyes squeezing at the question. Because that was one of his biggest fears. What if Jun chose to forgive the man that had done that to him?

“Then we’ll support him on his choice.” Hansol spoke as if it was the only choice, and Minghao understood that it wasn’t the only one, but it was the right one. “He needs to know we’re there for him.”

“Doesn’t mean we need to forgive him though, right?” Because if that was asked of him he’d break the whole damn apartment down.

“Oh, fuck no. I’m not forgiving that piece of shit.” Hansol scoffed with a slight smirk, shaking his head. “But–“

“It’s not about us.” Minghao completed, earning a rewarding smile in return. Hansol was good at those. “Yeah, I think I get it now.”

“Good.” The younger’s smile shone in the white light when he patted Minghao’s knee before pushing himself up. “Now, can we hang out?”

“Sure, but I’m not teaching you how to use those.” Minghao quickly shot down that idea when he saw Hansol going for the nunchucks. He had learned his lesson with Seungkwan. Never again.

 

 

——

 

 

To say he felt a bit guilty was too much of an understatement. He felt the guilt seeping into his bones, sinking into his stomach and making his body much heavier than it should feel. Not that he didn’t stand by their decision. He took a bit too long to tell the group, yes, that was a mistake he was willing to admit. The same mistake that gnawed at his heart. However, he didn’t regret telling them the truth.

Yet like said, guilt was still weighing heavy on his shoulders, particularly when he visited a certain friend of his.

“Hey,” The leader called as he peeked into the dark room, spotting the hacker in front of the multiple computer screens. “Got some time?”

“Mmh.” The other just hummed. Not exactly a great sign, though it was better than having a stapler thrown at him, which may or may not have happened sometime before.

Seungcheol took the taciturn answer as an invitation and made his way inside, closing the door behind him and trying to find a chair in the dim lighting. Once he managed, he slid over to his friend, trying to figure out what he was doing.

“What are you doing?” He gave up and asked, since he couldn’t understand neither the numbers or the alphabet on the screen.

“Working on something.” Jihoon answered, typing away in the blue light keyboard.

“Work or pleasure?” Seungcheol questioned, genuinely curious. Though he figured if it was work, Jihoon would’ve already told him about it.

“Pleasure, kinda.” The shorter answered with a shrug.

“Something kinky?” Seungcheol teased, trying to lighten up. Taking by the glare he got in return, it didn’t exactly work.

“Did you need anything?” Jihoon asked instead, looking back at the screen before him.

“No, I just…” The older sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t even sure how to start. “You’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad, I’m angry.” Jihoon corrected, and though he didn’t bother to look at him, Seungcheol felt like his friend was a bit more open. He’d rather be scolded by Jihoon any day than be ignored by him.

“What’s the difference?” Seugncheol wondered, frowning a bit.

“I don’t know, but it feels different.” Well, that was something Seungcheol didn’t expect, at least coming from him. The younger had always had a bit of a tough time with figuring out his emotions, so it came as a surprise to know he could tell the difference, even if it was only in his mind. Perhaps he wasn’t giving his friend as much credit as he deserved.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol sighed, shoulders slumping. He truly was. The last thing he ever wanted was to get anyone angry at him.

“It’s not me you should be apologizing to.” Jihoon mumbled, the unsettled feeling showing in his tone.

“You deserve an apology too.” Seungcheol pointed out. They all did, but the leader felt like he owed him more. Because for years it had been him and Jihoon, and hiding such a big thing from him felt almost like a betrayal.

“I know I should’ve told you.” The leader continued, so he wouldn’t lose the courage. Truth is, I should’ve probably talked to you first. And Soonyoung.” They were always the first ones he talked to when the matter was the group, so it only made sense.

“But I was confused, and tired, and just…” Seungcheol sighed, pushing his hair back. “I didn’t know what to do, and I went to them first. And I don’t regret talking to them, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t bring the matter to you too.”

Jihoon had stopped typing by then, looking down at the keyboard as if the words he was looking for would be there. Seungcheol simply waited, let the silence take over for a moment.

“It’s okay.” Jihoon spoke then, finally staring at him properly. “I mean, it was really, really stupid to hide it for so long, and you should’ve at least told the two of us, but… I forgive you.”

Seungcheol breathed those words in as if they were fresh air, finally filling his lungs properly. “Thanks.” He smiled small, genuinely grateful.

“I’m still angry at you though.” Jihoon frowned, and honestly, Seungcheol wouldn’t have expected anything else. “But it was hard. We were all pretty shaken up, still are, and just… I can’t imagine what it was like to go through that then. It was hard, right?”

Seungcheol’s lips parted, though he wasn’t surprised. Jihoon never had much trouble understanding him, which was one of the reasons they got along so well. And he had talked about this with Jisoo and Jeonghan, over and over again. After all, the two were as worried about him as he was about them. So he never imagined he actually missed talking about this with Jihoon.

“Well, wasn’t great.” Seungcheol smiled bitterly, scratching the side of his neck. “Kinda wanted to smash his face in when I saw him.” He admitted with a lighter chuckle, gaining a smirk from his friend as well.

“Surprised you didn’t.” Jihoon added, which made sense, given Seungcheol’s temper wasn’t exactly a quality of his.

“Can’t say I didn’t try.” The leader confessed. “But I didn’t wanna cause Shua any problems. Plus, Jun was right there, so…”

“Yeah.” Jihoon nodded, showing he understood once again. “It was the right thing to do.” He reassured, to which Seungcheol sent him a grateful smile. “You okay, though?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Seungcheol nodded, straightening his posture a bit. He wasn’t lying, either. Like said, the three of them had talked about it over and over again, both Jisoo and Jeonghan trying their best to make sure Seungcheol was alright. And he felt he was, right now. “Just, tons of questions, you know?”

“Well, you’re not alone there.” Jihoon hummed, pulling ups his sleeves that were sliding pass his fingertips before. “Is that why you wanted me to look him up?”

Seungcheol nodded, cracking his knuckles as a force of habit. One Seungkwan was not particularly fond of. “Yeah, I just don’t like not knowing what’s going on.” He explained, though once again he knew he wasn’t the only one sharing that feeling. “How’s Jun doing?”

Jihoon’s whole posture seemed to change at that, with his shoulders sagging and his expression softening. “He’s… Confused.” The boy sighed.

“It’s a lot to take in.” Seungcheol reasoned, earning a couple of nods from the other.

“And he’s not sure what he can take in either. It’s just like you said, too many questions, and he doesn’t know what to take from all of that.” The shorter explained, which showed how much he had talked to him. Seungcheol was glad though, that they could rely on each other.

“Is he mad at us?” Seungcheol wondered, though he wasn’t upset. Of course he wasn’t happy either, just he understood if it was the case.

“I don’t think so, but I told him he should be mad for a while.” Jihoon confessed, to which Seungcheol gasped playfully.

“Traitor.” He accused, quickly playing it off with a laugh. And thankfully, Jihoon joined in, making him feel even lighter.

“Don’t tell me shit and that’s what you get.” Jihoon smirked, though he was soon shaking his head. “Nah, just, I think he should let himself get a little mad at people, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it.” The leader agreed, nodding. “Can’t promise Jeonghan will be as understanding though.” Even if he could be the most understanding out of the three sometimes, he was also the softest one when it came to the other members.

“Eh, I doubt he’ll be able to stay mad for long either.” Jihoon reasoned with a shrug.

“True.” Seungcheol snorted. “I’m proud of you, Jihoonie. You’re opening up.” He cheered, reaching out to ruffle his friend’s hair. A gesture that was not kindly taken. “Soon enough you’ll be hugging us and telling all your secrets.”

The younger quickly swatted his hand away, frowning. “Ew, gross. Don’t pull a Soonyoung.” The disgust was clear in his eyes, but Seungcheol couldn’t help but laugh.

“Fine, fine, one step at a time.” The leader chuckled, pulling back to get back up and leave Jihoon to his things. Before he left, however, he stopped by the door, looking back at his friend who was helplessly trying to fix his hair.

“We’re okay, right?” Seungcheol asked, hopeful.

The hacker seemed to be taken by surprise, his expression softening once again. “Yeah, Cheol.” Jihoon smiled small. “We’re okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and all the comments and the crazy amount of hits!  
> Seriously, I can't express how much warmth it brings me to know so many people are enjoying this fic.
> 
> Fun fact!  
> I had that first scene written out since the first hospital chapter, I kid you not, because I originally wanted to post it then. But then clever me thought Hey, let's be a little shit and make people wait-  
> So sorry about that-
> 
> Also, I knew I wouldn't be able to post last week so I decided to give this as a little Christmas gift (even tho this is like pure angst I'm sorRY)
> 
> Please please pleASE don't be afraid to leave any comments! I love reading them and knowing what you think of this fic, seriously. And if they take a while to show up I probably already read them and am just waiting 'till I have the time to properly reply to them with all the attention they deserve-
> 
> And as always, if you see any typos, please let me know! I always re-read before posting but something always manages to slip by orz
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and have a happy holiday!!  
> (but also don't feel pressured to have a happy holiday, it's jsut another day, you do you <3)


	21. Rough lies fill up the world, but they make me braver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He could easily draw her smile, if he had ever attained such a skill. It was fragile, tense, loaded with far too much warmth for such fearful eyes. She said they were going on a trip, but no trip ever started like that. Not once had they stopped by their favorite ice cream shop before going to the beach, or gotten a toy each when they’d go on their annual summer trip to the zoo. No, they weren’t going on a trip. Even in his eight year old heart, Seungcheol knew what she was doing.
> 
> She was going to leave them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year everyone!
> 
> And guess who got some backstory w00t

 

 

Seungcheol remembered like it was last week. Whenever he had to retell the story, he felt as if he should say it was a rainy day, where the rain never stopped pouring and he couldn’t see ten inches from his face, but he knew it was a lie.

No, it had been a sunny day. In spring, actually. One of those days where it’s just a little too chilly in the shade and way too hot under the sun. He remembered his mother loading the trunk with two suitcases, a bit too big for him and his younger brother to carry. He remembered the warmth of Chan’s hand against his own, clinging with the little strength he had while his eyes followed their mother around, pooling with confusion.

He could easily draw her smile, if he had ever attained such a skill. It was fragile, tense, loaded with far too much warmth for such fearful eyes. She said they were going on a trip, but no trip ever started like that. Not once had they stopped by their favorite ice cream shop before going to the beach, or gotten a toy each when they’d go on their annual summer trip to the zoo. No, they weren’t going on a trip. Even in his eight year old heart, Seungcheol knew what she was doing.

She was going to leave them.

So when he climbed into the back seat with his brother’s hand still locked in his, he looked out around and tried to remember as much as he could. He counted the stitches on the passenger seat before him, noticing how the leather was a bit worse for wear. He memorized the colors on Chan’s baby chair — green and blue, just like the toy dinosaur he held. He paid attention to his mother’s scarf. She wore the dark blue one with the light pink flower blossoms. Seungcheol liked that one, he thought it made her cheeks look pretty, even if now they seemed to be a bit wet.

Perhaps Seungcheol should have been crying too, but that’s the one thing he didn’t recall. He didn’t remember crying. He didn’t remember wanting to cry. Chan did, of course. His older brother had to hold him back as the boy cried for their mother as she got back into the car without them. He screamed his lungs out as she drove away, leaving them under the care of a strange woman that ran the orphanage.

“ _It’s going to be okay._ ” He remember telling his brother one night, not too long after they had been place in a room of their own. It was rare to have such a luck, but given the young boy often cried himself to sleep, they quickly learned it was better to place him in a room with only his brother than to risk waking up the other kids.

“ _B-But they said…!_ ” The younger sobbed, not even finishing his words. Seungcheol knew what they’d said, he remembered to this day. How the kids would tell them their mother wasn’t coming back, because none of them ever did.

And they were right.

“ _I know, Channie, but it’s okay._ ” Seungcheol repeated, wiping his brother’s cheeks before hugging him against his chest. “ _It doesn’t matter if she comes back or not, because I’m here, okay? I’m staying here._ ”

Seungcheol could recall how watery Chan’s eyes were as he looked up at him, how those big tears threatened to spill over his round cheeks, as if they hadn’t already for days.

“ _Promise?_ ” The boy asked, voice soft yet full of hope.

“ _Promise._ ”

“Hyung!” It was his brothers own voice to snap him out of his trip down memory lane, now much louder and a bit pitchy from his hormonal swings.

“Uh?” Seungcheol blinked, looking around him. Sat across from him at the table was Wonwoo, staring at the leader with his brow raised as if wondering if he should be worried. Chan was at the counter, making himself a sandwich.

“I asked if you and Chan—“ Wonwoo tried once again before being interrupted.

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Seungcheol nodded, and now he remembered why he thought of that day in the first place. Wonwoo had asked him if Chan and him were brothers related by blood or not, given their different family names. Apparently, the hacker had come across them while looking at their database. “Yeah, we have the same parents. They changed our surnames after the adoption.”

“But I thought you were adopted together?” Wonwoo pointed out with a slight frown, and Seungcheol didn’t blame him for having a hard time understanding.

“Yeah, but—“

“Our foster parents are dicks.” Chan put it bluntly, and a bit too crudely for Seungcheol’s taste.

“Language.”The older reprimanded, glancing at his brother.

“What? They are!” Chan complained, brows pulling together as they did whenever they had an argument. “They changed my name and kept yours.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes before looking back at Wonwoo who was clearly still awaiting answers. “When they came to adopt a kid, they only wanted one kid. And they fell in love with Chan, for some ungodly reason.” Seungcheol ignored his brother’s “ _Hey_!” and continued with his explanation. “But Chan refused to go without me, and I refused to let him go too.”

“Can you do that?” There was surprise in Wonwoo’s voice.

“Well, it’s not normal, but given we threatened to handcuff ourselves to each other and actually managed to find handcuffs, I think they figured they should take us seriously.” Seungcheol reasoned.

“How the hell did you find—?” Wonwoo seemed to be more confused by that, but Seungcheol only shook his head.

“That’s for another time.” He dismissed him, saving that question for another day. “Anyway, they figured they wouldn’t be able to adopt Chan without me, so they kinda gave in and got me along, but it was never really in their plan you know? And you shouldn’t really get a kid if you’re not into it. Especially if that kid is actually a teen by then.”

“See? Dicks.” Chan concluded, getting a glare in return.

“As I was saying,” Seungcheol continued before his brother could get too carried away. “They loved Chan a lot, treated him like his own kid, or tried to.” It was a hard thing to do when his brother hated their guts simply for treating Seungcheol wrong. Apparently, they never figured that out. “So they changed his surname to Lee. But they never bothered changing mine.”

“No offense hyung, but they do sound like dicks.” Wonwoo put it just as bluntly as his brother, gaining a “ _Thank you!_ ” from the younger.

“Eh, they weren’t good parents to me but they treated Chan well, so that’s what mattered.” Seungcheol shrugged. They got into a fairly good school, had a home and food, and Chan was loved. Even if it weren’t the ideal circumstances, it was still much better than the orphanage. “And they weren’t mean to me either. They just treated me like an appendage. Like I got a room and food and education and all that shit, so.”

“And you didn’t get annoyed at them?” Wonwoo questioned, a bit incredulous.

“Of course I was annoyed, I was a teenager.” Just one look at his school record would show. “I’m just saying all in all the situation wasn’t terrible. I wouldn’t call them my parents, but my priority at the time wasn’t that either.” It was Chan. Though he believed that could be left unsaid.

“Huh.” Wonwoo nodded, and thankfully he seemed to drop the subject. Seungcheol had no problem speaking about it, neither of them did. They had years together to cope with the fact that both their parents had left them, and somehow at some point they simply found a way not to hurt over it anymore. Perhaps it was easier because they had each other.

“No, wait a second.” Wonwoo called for his attention once again. “Does that mean your family name is Choi?”

“Yeah.” Seungcheol answered with a blink, wondering why that was so interesting.

“So are you telling me that Chan’s original surname was Choi?” Wonwoo tried not to snicker. “Choi Chan?”

“So what?” Chan frowned while Seungcheol bit back a smile of his own, forgetting how amusing his brother’s original name sounded.

“Dude, forget about abandoning you. You should’ve known your parents were bad people when they decided to name you Choi Chan.” The hacker failed to hold back a laugh now, ducking to avoid the leaf of lettuce that came flying at him.

Well, at least they could agree that some changes had been for the best.

 

 

——

 

_2010_

 

“You know, I’m 90% sure this is illegal.” Doyoon not so usefully pointed out as Soonyoung kept working on the lock.

“I am 100% sure this is illegal.” Jihoon unhelpfully added to the list, crossing his arms stubbornly. “The fact that we’re here in the middle of the night only adds to it.”

“Says the guy who hacked the school system to change the lunch menu three times.” Seungcheol pointed out with a smug grin.

“Guys, seriously, I need to focus.” Soonyoung complained, looking up from the keyhole in which he had stuck a hairpin and a half straightened out paper clip.

“I thought you’d done this before.” His shorter friend reasoned, and Soonyoung wondered if he was set on not being helpful today.

“Yeah, but it was like one time and at home.” Soonyoung whined, ignorant to the pout forming in his own lips.

“Why did you need to break into your own home?” Doyoon raised a brow, looking genuinely confused.

Soonyoung didn’t know the guy very well honestly, but he seemed cool so far. They had met him through Seungcheol, but the boy was easily making his way into their small friend group. Or perhaps they were barging their way into Seungcheol’s friend circle. Truthfully, Soonyoung didn’t know the difference, but it also didn’t matter. Doyoon was here to help, supposedly, so he was good in his book.

“It’s a long story.” The younger waved him off before focusing once again on the door. He could do this, he knew it. Sure, he had only done it once before, but it was the same principle. Not to mention he had read a lot on the subject. “Hyung, can you help me out here?” He looked at Seungcheol, who seemed to suddenly snap out of his thoughts and quickly join him by the door.

“Yeah?” The older asked, eyes opened a bit too wide, yet clearly eager to help.

“I need you to try turning the knob when I say so, okay?” Once Soonyoung got a nod in return, he looked back into the keyhole. Honestly, looking didn’t help much, it was much more about the feel of it. Still, it helped him focus. And it looked much cooler. “Okay, and… Try turning it now.” He instructed as he turned the strings of metal in his hand, hopefully holding the door unlocked.

Seungcheol did as he said, and thankfully, the telling cringing of the door opening could be heard. Soonyoung couldn’t help the way his eyes turned into two angled slits as he shot up proudly, almost knocking into Seungcheol in the process.

“Told you!” He gloated, immune to Jihoon’s annoyed gaze. “Call me Soonyoung, lockpicking master.”

“That hardly sounds like something you should be proud of.” Jihoon added bitterly.

“Shh!” Soonyoung protested as Seungcheol hushed them and pushed them into the principal’s office, closing the door behind him once they were all inside. “Come on, we can’t be too loud, the guard still comes around every half hour.”

“Right, right.” Soonyoung nodded, adjusting his grey hoodie as they looked around in the room. Thankfully, Jihoon was smart enough to remind them not to turn on the lights so they wouldn’t get caught. Instead, they each grabbed either their cellphones or a small pocket flashlight.

“What are we looking for, again?” Doyoon was the one to ask, looking at Seungcheol.

“A grey Nintendo DS.” The other answered, already searching through the man’s cabinets by the side of the room.

“Are we seriously going through with this over a Nintendo DS?” Jihoon grumbled even though he also began looking under the piles of papers on the large wooden desk.

“I told you, they stole it from him.” Seungcheol explained once again. Apparently, the owner was Dongjin, one of Chan’s friends. The kid however was only playing with it during recess before one of those class A regular bullies snatched it from him. And in some convoluted way that Soonyoung honestly didn’t remember, it ended up being confiscated by the school’s principal.

“And if his parents find out he doesn’t have it anymore they’ll ground him and probably never give him something like that again.” Doyoon completed, showing he paid more attention to the story than Jihoon. Or probably he just was less grumpy. It wasn’t exactly a hard thing to achieve.

“So if you think about it, we’re only getting the game back to it’s rightful owner.” Seungcheol concluded, crouching down to look in the lower cabinets. “It’s not even illegal.”

“I don’t think the police would see it that way.” Jihoon grumbled while making way for Soonyoung to look through the desk drawers.

“Don’t worry Jihoonie, I doubt they’d call the police on us.” He reasoned, quickly scanning through each drawer. “We’d probably just get suspended or maybe a month of detention.”

“Oh yeah, because that’s much better.” The shorter rolled his eyes, but Soonyoung had no time to reply as he quickly fished the grey plastic rectangle from the bottom drawer on the left side of the desk.

“AHA!” Soonyoung cheered, raising the game over his head as if it was a trophy. On second thought, that probably wasn’t a good idea, as he seemed to have had found the damn game right when the guard was passing by the office.

“What was that?” The woman asked from the other side of the door, the four teenagers looking at each other before quickly scrambling to turn off their lights and fit under the desk.

It was no easy task, fitting four growing teenagers under an office table. Their backs were against the wooden plank that blocked anyone from seeing under the table. Their shoulders were bumping and pressing against shoulders and ribs, legs bent at the knees so they wouldn’t peek out. Soonyoung was squished between Doyoon and Jihoon, feeling much like a sardine in a can.

“Did you have to shout?!” Jihoon whisper shouted, and Soonyoung had to keep himself from whining.

“I didn’t see her walking—“

“Is anyone there?” The woman asked then, opening the door to the office. Soonyoung felt the shoulders tensing up against him, and he figured he was probably the same.

Why did people even asked that? Who’s there? Did they seriously think anyone would actually reply? ‘ _Oh yes, we’re here. We just broke in to steal back something that isn’t ours and probably broke at least five laws in the meantime. Also, how are you?_ ’

Apparently, the time it took Soonyoung to come up with that little scenario in his head was enough time for the guard to deem the room vacant and go back to her round. Honestly, it would cost her nothing to actually check the room, but Soonyoung didn’t complain. He simply thanked her lack of commitment and waited about five minutes before he crawled out from under the desk along with the other three.

“Bless the school and their lacking security budget.” Jihoon groaned while stretching his arms over his head.

“Come on, let’s head out of here before she comes by again.” Seungcheol instructed before they could make anymore mistakes, waiting for the three to get out before leaving as well.

It was only after jumping the front gate that they were all fully out of reach and could finally relax. Soonyoung handed the game to Seungcheol, whose pride was visible in his bright smile. They all felt pretty satisfied, though. Even Jihoon didn’t look that annoyed, despite sacrificing his sleep for this.

“Where are you guys heading now?” Soonyoung wondered, blinking a few times to make their faces in the dark.

“I told my mom I’d be sleeping over.” Doyoon reminded Seungcheol, who only nodded.

“You can sleep at mine if you want.” Jihoon offered to the two with a shrug, showing that little softness in him that he so stubbornly liked to keep hidden.

“Nah it’s fine, they don’t mind as long as we don’t make any noise coming in.” Seungcheol explained.

“Alright.” Jihoon shrugged before looking at Soonyoung. “You coming though, right?”

“Yeah, yeah.” The taller nodded quickly, thankful the offer was still standing, though he never thought the other would let him down.

“Come on then.” Jihoon tilted his head in the right direction before turning to make his way home.

“I– Okay, wait—“ Soonyoung didn’t know why his friend was in such a hurry, but he caught up quickly, walking next to him. “Let us know when you get home!” He yelled back at the others, giving them a wave.

“You too. And thanks again!” Seungcheol shouted back with a soft grin before turning to walk the opposite way with Doyoon, who also graced him with a wave. Jihoon was more discreet, not turning around but only waving a hand at the other two.

Soonyoung grinned, biting down his lip as he slipped his hands into his jeans pockets to protect them from the chilly wind. “This was fun, right?” He glanced at his best friend, who raised a brow at the question.

“Your affection for illegal actions worries me.” The shorter grumbled, though his eyes softened as he looked ahead. “But yeah, it was kind of fun.”

Soonyoung smile grew at that, and through he refrained from saying so, he wouldn’t mind doing something like that. Was that bad?

 

 

——

 

 

“No.” Jihoon’s reply was short and blunt, much like himself.

“Come on, hear me out first.” Seungcheol insisted, though some would argue it sounded more like a plea. With Jihoon, it had to be like that. If he simply tried to boss him around he knew he’d never be successful.

“I don’t need to, I know my answer will still be no.” The younger insisted, sitting on his computer chair with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Actually—“ Soonyoung tried, though his friend was cutting him off.

“No.” Jihoon repeated, this time glaring at the small eyed friend.

“Hyung, please hear him out.” It was Chan who asked this time, knowing well enough how he was the one they were most likely to want to please. As much as they’d like to deny it, he was still the baby.

“Plus, I’m kinda curious.” Soonyoung admitted, glancing at Jihoon who didn’t look very satisfied as he realized he was losing the argument. “What do you mean we should do it again?” His attention was on the oldest now, who sat on the bed while continuously cracking his knuckles.

“The thing we did for Dongjin, helping him out.” Seungcheol was glad he was given a chance to explain, looking between the boy on the floor and the one on the chair, while his brother sat next to him on the mattress. “Like, that was fun, right? Not stealing shit, but I mean, doing the right thing.”

“We can do the right thing by actually not doing illegal shit, you know?” Jihoon raised a brow to make his point.

“Come on Jihoon-ah, you saw Dongjin’s face when he came to thank us!” Seungcheol complained. “Have you ever seen anyone that happy?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t exactly feed on other’s people joy.” The younger put it dryly, being as stubborn as always. It was the same kind of talk he gave him when he first told them his idea of actually stealing the game.

“And it wasn’t the first time it happened either.” Chan reasoned, his voice softer than theirs but just as loud. “Those jerks mess with people all the time. Even outside of school.” The youngest explained, brows tugging together in that puppy stare Seungcheol so strongly tried to avoid. “You really helped Dongjinnie out, seriously.”

There was a moment of silence, followed by an inconspicuous “He’s got a point, you know,” from Soonyoung. “I mean, shit goes down all the time, and the teachers don’t see half of it. And that’s if they even care. Remember how we met Cheol-hyung?”

Jihoon only groaned in response, dropping his arms to his sides and throwing his head back. “Even if we said yes, how would we even do that? We can’t exactly put up flyers.” The younger pointed out before faking a very unconvincing happy tone. “Hey, got something stolen? Well we’ll steal it back for you from people who could probably kick our asses or get us expelled!”

“I think we’d get caught like that, Jihoonie.” Soonyoung pointed out, entirely oblivious to the sarcasm. Whether Jihoon didn’t correct him for affection or lack of patience, Seungcheol couldn’t tell.

“We don’t need to announce ourselves. I mean, we don’t even need to go around saying we’re out to help people or anything.” Seungcheol reasoned, shrugging a bit. “To be honest, I didn’t think that much about it.” He scorned at Jihoon’s scoff, not appreciating it. “But like, we can just help if we hear about something. Like we did with Dongjin. Channie told us about him and we helped.”

“Yeah, but Cheol, that was one thing. One time.” Jihoon explained, the stubbornness now making way for something else. Something more vulnerable. “We’re just… Kids. Teens. We can’t do shit. Sure I hacked the school a few times, but that’s it.”

Seungcheol would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared of that, too. One of his flaws was that he could be a bit over confident sometimes, which may have caused him a few problems in the past. So it was easy to say Seungcheol was afraid his confidence was getting them in a great amount of trouble this time. But that’s why he came to them. They’d either be blunt and tell him he’s an idiot, or give in and help out.

“Look, I know, believe me.” Seungcheol confessed, rubbing the back of his neck. “But we also had no idea we could break into school at 3 AM and retrieve a game, but we did it. Like, _we_ did it, no one else helped us, no one else bothered. And maybe if we hadn’t bothered, Dongjin would be in deep shit right now.” The two who shared the same age look at each other, as if having a silent conversation, while Seungcheol continued. “I know we can’t be cocky, but… I think we’re not giving ourselves enough credit here.”

“He does make sense, Jihoonie.” Soonyoung spoke after a moment, looking back at his shorter friend. “And you did admit that was fun.”

“Yeah, it was fun, but I wasn’t exactly thinking about doing it again.” Jihoon pointed out, though his opinion seemed to be changing. “We got lucky.”

“But what if it wasn’t luck?” Chan offered. “What if you guys were just good? I mean, we’ve never exactly been lucky.” And the younger had a point there.

“Come on Jihoonie, what’s the worst that could happen?” Soonyoung offered, now apparently decidedly on Seungcheol’s side. The oldest was glad, given it was much easier to convince Jihoon with Soonyoung on his side.

“We could get in trouble.” Jihoon frowned, though Seungcheol knew what he meant. _You could get in trouble_ , was that the shorter wanted to say. Because he knew Jihoon cared little about being suspended or expelled, and his parents cared even less.

“Eh, when are we not?” Seungcheol grinned, trying a playful approach to convince his friend.

“You’re all ridiculous, you know?” Jihoon scoffed, crossing his arms once again. “You’re gonna get your asses kicked at some point.”

“And if you help us you could be there to watch it.” Seungcheol suggested with a smirk, getting an eye roll in return.

“Fine, whatever, I’ll help.” The shorter gave in, which apparently was enough to get Soonyoung up on his feet and fist bumping the air. “But if you get in trouble, I _will_ say I told you so.”

Seungcheol nodded with a chuckle, figuring that was a fair price. “Honestly, Jihoonie, I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

 

 

——

 

_2015_

 

“Wait,” Seungkwan felt himself frowning as he tried to take in the conversation. It was a bit frustrating when Jihoon barely paid him any attention and Soonyoung gave him chopped bits of information. Seungcheol wasn’t any help either, chopping vegetables for later. “So you’re telling me you decided to join just like that? Because it sounded fun?”

“Well, it’s not like we had much else going on.” Soonyoung shrugged, his eyes blinking and innocent. “Plus we didn’t really think we’d move on from getting video games to stealing from the Seoul elite.”

“Yeah, but hyung, it’s not like breaking into principal’s offices is anyone’s go to leisure activity in the first place.” Seungkwan pointed out skeptically. “I mean, I get why you did it in the first place, but you kept doing it. Like, was Jihoon-hyung the only one worried about getting in trouble?”

“You’d be surprised how often that happens.” Jihoon provided, not even glancing up from his phone.

“Eeh, we knew the risks, but we also didn’t care about it much.” The small eyes boy shrugged once again, gesturing widely as if to make his point. “We were looking at the bigger picture, you know?”

“I seriously doubt that.” The youngest raised a brow.

“Soonyoung-hyung wanted to help and dragged Jihoon hyung with him.” Chan provided from the other side of the table, drinking from a jug of juice. Mingyu would not be happy about it, but none of them had the patience to scold the kid at the moment.

“You really need to consider things more before doing them, hyung.” Seungkwan’s tone was a bit reprimanding but he honestly meant it. Soonyoung was a lot of fun, and a great friend, but he had a tendency of doing things ‘just for fun’ too often for his own good.

“Hey, it worked out, didn’t it?” The older defended. “We barely got into any trouble—“ Soonyoung didn’t even pause at Jihoon’s chuckle. “And if we hadn’t decided to do that, maybe we never would’ve met you all. And maybe there would be a lot more people in trouble. We knew what we were doing.”

“Once again, I seriously doubt that.” This time Seugkwan smiled though, finding the other’s words rather endearing in a way. “But that was sweet so I guess I’ll let it go.” And he had a point, in some way. Things worked out, right? That was all that mattered.

“It was better than getting scared into joining.” Seungkwan scoffed at Jihoon’s accusation, jaw dropping in insult.

“I was not scared. I made a smart decision in complicated conditions.” The boy defended, placing a hand on his chest as he made his plea.

“You joined because you were scared Coups would kick your ass or something.” The shorter snickered, unfortunately avoiding the kick Seungkwan sent his way from under the table. How he did that with his eyes glued to his phone was beyond him.

“Well, you would be too!” Seungkwan complained, his voice taking a whinier tone. “He was acting like a gangster or something! Plus, you know what he did to Doyoon, I don’t know what he’s capable of now.”

“What?” Soonyoung was the one to ask, his frown making his eyes appear thinner. “What’d he do to Doyoon?”

“You know…!” Seungkwan lowered his voice as he noticed Seungcheol didn’t even bother turning to look at them, and only continued chopping the carrots. “How he… ‘offed’ him. “ He whispered now at the confused stares, which this time included Jihoon’s. He didn’t know how they weren’t aware of it. They had been there for much longer than him, after all. Had Seungcheol never told them?

“Offed him?” Chan was the one to frown, and oh, how it hurt to see the deception in the boy’s eyes. Seungkwan couldn’t even imagine the pain of finding out his brother had done such a thing.

“Yeah, you know, because he was asking too much and wouldn’t shut up, so he ‘ _took care of him_ ’…” Seungkwan whispered, the sound of the knife hitting the chopping board becoming much more prominent.

“What? Hyung, Doyoon-hyung moved.” Chan’s brows were so close together you could barely tell them apart.

“What?” It was Seungkwan’s turn to ask now, confusion taking over his features as well.

“His family moved to another city.” Chan explained, now raising a brow as if wondering where the hell Seungkwan had gotten that idea in the first place. “He didn’t even join the group. His mom was sick a lot so he was afraid he’d worry her or something.”

“In fact, I think they moved because they were going to try another treatment in Busan.” Soonyoung added, his expression practically matching Chan’s.

It didn’t make any sense. If that was true, why had Seungcheol lied about hurting Doyoon in the first place? Why would he even say something like that? Something that he knew would scare him and intimidate—

Wait.

“What?!” Seungkwan shouted, pushing himself up and pointing an accusing finger at the leader. “Choi Seungcheol!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Seungcheol defended as he finally turned around, though the lack of restraint in his amused smile sold him off completely.

“You told me you killed him!” The younger scoffed.

“I said I took care of him—“

“Yeah, like the Mafia takes care of people. Seriously, hyung, what the hell?!” Seungkwan complained, his shoulders dropping but the anger still burning strong in his chest.

“Why would you tell him that?” Soonyoung wondered, looking evidently confused.

“Eh, I needed him to help me out with something and he wouldn’t stop whining about it…” The leader explained, his grin taking a more apologetic turn, but it wasn’t enough for Seungkwan.

“That’s hilarious.” Jihoon snorted, properly ignoring the heated glare sent his way.

“You made me think you killed people!” Seungkwan protested.

“Hyung? He can barely hurt a fly. He’s too soft.” It was at least nice to see Seungcheol annoyed, even if it was only at Chan’s accusation.

“You know what?” Seungkwan shook his head, making his way around the table to jab his index finger at the other’s chest. “Next time you sprain an ankle, you’re walking home!” The boy announced, the metaphorical fumes coming out of his ears as he made his way out of the kitchen, muttering a low but loud enough “Too soft my ass.”

 

 

——

 

_2010_

 

Seungcheol really had to start thinking before he did things. Jihoon had already told him that, far more often than he would have liked. And most times, he just ignored the shorter. What did he know, anyway? Sure, he was a genius, but he was still a year younger than him. Seungcheol was clearly the more experienced one.

Unfortunately, it was also clear he was not learning from said experience, given from the rip on his shirt and the cut on his lip. Thankfully, however, it went much better than it could’ve gone. That’s what he liked to tell himself at least.

“I didn’t know your dad was a cop.” Doyoon let out a chuckle, wiping the bit of blood off the corner of his lips as he leaned against the brick wall in the alley. They sat by the back of the convenience store, the smell coming from the trash displeasing but somewhat familiar.

“He isn’t, but they didn’t know that either.” Seungcheol smirked, quickly wincing once he felt the stretch on his cut.

“How did you know that was gonna work?” The other raised a brow, the bruise on his cheek shining a bit darker as it caught a bit of the sunlight peeking through the top of the wall.

“I didn’t.” Seungcheol groaned as he rolled his neck, carefully wiping at his lip as well with his apron. “Lucky shot, I guess.”

“Lucky indeed.” Doyoon snickered, pushing his matted hair back. “…Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem.” Seungcheol shrugged, tilting his head to look at his friend. Doyoon worked at the store with him, but today was supposed to be his day off. Instead, Seungcheol found him taking a beating from three older guys by the back alley. “Gonna tell me what happened?”

“Guess I owe you that much, huh?” His friend smiled small, pulling his knees up a bit as he rested against the wall.

“You don’t owe me.” Seungcheol shook his head. He wasn’t one to pry secrets out of others, he found that’d be a tad hypocritical of him.

“Nah, it’s fine.” The other hummed, licking his bruised lips. “It’s not what it looked like. Although, I don’t really know what it looked like.” He confessed with another chuckle. Even battered up, his face still looked as soft as always.

“Alright…” He nodded, stupidly pursing his lips, feeling the sting once again. He seriously had to stop moving his mouth so much. “What was it, then? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now it is, I think.” Doyoon gave him a slight nod, along with a small relieved sigh. “I’d borrowed some money, and I was giving it back today.”

Seungcheol almost winced at that alone, knowing those kind of stories a bit to well. “Didn’t have the money.”

“I did.” Doyoon corrected him, snorting lightly. “They just said I had to pay interests or some shit. And I didn’t have it, you know? Like I’d pay them to keep them off my back, really. I just didn’t have more. That was all I had.”

Seungcheol felt his heart dropping at the sight of the other’s grimace. It didn’t feel right. Doyoon was usually cheerful, playful, kind. He wasn’t one to get into these kinds of things, which made Seungcheol wonder how bad things really were.

“I can almost hear you thinking, you know?” Doyoon smirked, wetting his lips once again. “I know it was stupid. Believe me, I know. You don’t borrow money from shady people. We just needed to pay the rent, and mom hadn’t been doing so well, so…”

“I’m not judging.” Seungcheol quickly assured him. He wasn’t exactly in the position to judge.

“Thanks.” The other smiled softly, wiping the dirt off his palms with his thumbs. “Anyway, I paid them back already. I just needed to get my paycheck. And I won’t do it again, I learned my lesson.”

“If you need to, just come to me first you know?” Seungcheol suggested with a light pat to the other’s shoulder, resting his hand there for a moment.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause you’re swimming in money.” Doyoon snickered as Seungcheol shoved him, both boys now sharing a laugh.

“Shut up.” Seungcheol didn’t mind the sting on his lip if it was the price for the lightness in his heart. “I mean it, we can find a way to help.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll let you know.” Dooyoung granted, now trying to push himself up. Seungcheol got up instead to help his friend, noticing how his let foot didn’t rest very well on the ground. “Thanks, really. I owe you one.”

“Dude, I said it’s fine.” Seungcheol grinned, shaking his head.

“No, seriously. If you need anything, just tell me.” Doyoon insisted, walking into the store through the back along with Seungcheol. “My mom would’ve killed me if I showed up with a broken arm or something.”

“Is a black eye any better?” Seungcheol wondered, taking the other to the staff room.

“Of course. Now she’ll just maim me.” Doyoon grinned, sitting down on one of the benches as he looked up at Seungcheol.

“Much better, then.” Seungcheol snickered. “Stay here, alright? I’m gonna grab some things from the shop.” They sold bandaids and that kind of shit, Seungcheol was sure it would help with something.

He turned to walk out of the room, fixing his apron before opening the door. “Cheol, I mean it.” He paused as Doyoon called out, looking back at his friend. “I really owe you one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND OMG 6K HITS LIKE WTH THANK YOU  
> Seriously idk how it got this long or how so many people are liking it but it gives me so much motivation so thank you
> 
> I really really wanted to post this earlier, but I was struggling with what chapter to go with.  
> I just wasn't sure if I should show this Coup's chapter now or later, but I felt like now would be a good time.  
> (Even though I had inspiration for completely different scenes and had to focus on actually writing for this chapter- OTL)
> 
> Also I had that Doyoon chapter written for AGES seriously you have no idea--
> 
> I hope you all had a good passage of year. Whether you celebrate it or not, just remember to take care of yourselves and not pressure yourselves into anything. You can think of this as a restart or just another week. You do you <3
> 
> As usual, I try to reread these things a lot before posting but I always miss a typo or teo. So please please pleASE let me know if you see any typos or anything, it'd help me out a lot. 
> 
> And don't be afraid to leave any comments if you want to! I love reading them so much <3
> 
>  
> 
> ~~I'm also curious on rather anyone would be interested in a powers/college au type of thing tho I make no promises~~


	22. Our inner feelings that couldn't be seen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did you really wanna ask, Channie?” Soonyoung gave in, figuring they’d stop beating around the bush and just get to it. If Chan wanted to know, he’d find out anyway.
> 
> The youngest seemed somewhat surprised by the other’s question, perhaps not expecting to be asked so openly. He blinked a couple of times before licking his lips as well, fingers now tugging on his shoelaces. “Is there something we should be scared of?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took ages istg I am so sorry

 

 

“Not that I don’t love hanging out with you guys, really.” Soonyoung admitted, joining Seuncheol and Jihoon in the younger’s office. “But why are we here again?” Because when Seungcheol had called for an impromptu meeting between the three, he hadn’t actually given them much detail.

“I need to talk to you guys about what’s going on.” The leader explained, or tried to, because Soonyoung couldn’t say he felt less ignorant.

“And what would that be?” The thief questioned, joining the two by grabbing a stool and sitting with them in a circle. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but as long as they didn’t spend hours talking, he’d be alright. “‘Cause I mean, there’s the Ming Ming thing, there’s the Casino thing, there’s the Vernon’s agency thing…”

“All of it.” Soonyoung had to bite back a whimper. Shit, he really shouldn’t have gotten the stool. “We need to make some decisions, and I can’t do that on my own. I don’t wanna do it on my own.”

“Is this because you felt bad about the Ming Ming thing?” The hacker raised an accusing brow, looking borderline insulted.

“No, no, I promise.” Seungcheol shook his head quickly before letting out a sigh. He didn’t look particularly tired, or worn out. In fact, he somehow looked better than he did before they told them what happened. Still, there was some heaviness on his shoulders. Something weighing them down, making the worry grow in Soonyoung’s chest.

“Alright, one thing at a time then.” The thief proposed, patting his own knees. “We know so far that the guys in the Casino security have something to do with the guys that scammed Hansolie, right?”

“We don’t know, but it’s safe to assume.” Jihoon corrected him. “Their coding pattern, the way they’ve encrypted things, it’s all too similar, like a signature.”

“And Ming Ming’s working with them?” Soonyoung asked the question no one really wanted to ask, but they had to bring it up anyway.

“That’s the thing, we don’t know. It looks like it,” Jihoon reasoned. “However, I can’t find shit on him. Nothing.”

“That’s not what’s troubling me.” Seungcheol admitted, the look in his eyes already conveying what he was going to say. “I think I’m not the only one who considered they might know more about us than we about them.”

“Are you saying…?” Soonyoung prompted, because that was a question he wasn’t ready to ask.

“They knew we’d be there.” Seungcheol’s tone was low and firm, striking fear into his heart. Not fear of him, but fear of the possibility of him being right. “Ming Ming working for them or not, it’s not a coincidence he was there. Whoever they are, whatever the reason, they wanted to hit us hard. They wanted to make it personal.”

“And they did.” Jihoon muttered with a resigned sigh, pushing his light hair back while revealing the frown on his forehead.

“And we can’t let them.” Seungcheol tried, but Soonyoung found himself shaking his head.

“I don’t think we can help that anymore, hyung.” He wet his lips. “I think once it became personal, we can’t… ‘unpersonalize’ it.” Given Jihoon’s judging stare, Soonyoung doubted that was actually a word, but he lacked the vocabulary at the moment.

“He’s right, on some level.” The shorter agreed with his arms still crossed. “The guys are still taking it in, we all are.”

“Okay, you’re right.” Seungcheol agreed with yet another sigh, elbows on the arms of the chair with his fingers laced together over his lap. “But we need to thread carefully.”

“How much do they have on us?” Soonyoung wondered, his heart beating a bit harder now. This wasn’t a normal meeting, this was new. It lacked the excitement, being quickly replaced by fear and uncertainty.

“That’s the thing, we don’t know.” The leader grimaced, unlinking his hands so he could scratch the back of his neck. “If we’re to assume Ming Ming’s working with them, then they know everything he knows.”

“So that’s what?” Jihoon wondered. “Everything between the time he joined and left?”

“So everything about all of us except Hansol, Seungkwan, Seokmin and Minghao.” Soonyoung concluded. It was terrifying, knowing a stranger could know so much about them. Yet at least some of them were safe. Knowing it was some of the younger ones also brought him some peace of mind. “That’s if he’s told them, right?”

“I think we should be working with the worst case scenario from now on.” The leader reasoned. “So assume he told them everything.”

“Well, we moved, so they don’t know where we are.” Jihoon added. “He didn’t know about our families either, right? Except maybe Jun’s.”

“And Mingyu’s.” Seungcheol added. “They’re high profile, I doubt they’ll go after them. Either way, we gotta keep a close eye on all families. Contact is out of the question. Also–“

“Samuel.” Soonyoung blinked, suddenly remembering.

“Yes.” Seungcheol’s tone was firm again as he looked at the younger in the room. “We’re gonna keep all eyes on him, 24/7. Chances are they’re doing the same, and I swear to God if they try anything–“

“They won’t.” Jihoon replied, quick and sharp. “We won’t let them.”

“Yeah.” Soonyoung nodded with determination. “What else should we do?”

“This is where the hard part comes.” The oldest took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “There’s people out there, bad people, who have at least some level of information on us, and we gotta know what to do. And I…” The leader sagged in his chair, head lower than it usually was. “I have no idea.”

It hurt Soonyoung to see the other like this. Seungcheol was the leader. He was the one who always came up with plans, the one to guide and encourage, the one who somehow always knew what to do. Even when they had their little meetings with the three of them, Seungcheol always knew what to say, in which direction to go. However, now he just looked lost.

“Well, what can we do?” Soonyoung asked, trying to be useful. Seungcheol was asking for help, so count on him to help his friend. “What are our options?” The leader’s eyes widened a bit, maybe surprised at Soonyoung’s responsiveness.

“We can go after them, or we can try to hide better.” Jihoon replied, also showing his willingness to help. “We’ve been laying low for a while, and I’ve increased security, so that helps us.”

“There’s only so long we can hide for, though.” Seungcheol reasoned, though he seemed open, appreciative.

“There’s also Ming Ming.” Soonyoung reminded them, even if he wished he didn’t have to. “If what you said is true, then maybe… I mean, I’m not the only one who thought of it, yeah?”

“That maybe he’s not doing this willingly?” The thief nodded at the older’s question. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of that, but I’ve been trying not to focus on it.”

“We should ask that to everyone else.” Jihoon suggested. “The whole Ming Ming thing… Jun should be a part of that discussion, and the others too. I think we’ve learned that much already.”

“But what exactly is the discussion?” Soonyoung wondered, feeling lost himself now.

“Whether we should consider helping him or not.” Jihoon sighed. “I don’t know. If he’s on their side or not, if he needs help or not… Either way, we need to decide what to do in case we come across him again.”

“…I have a feeling that won’t be a very fun conversation.” Soonyoung mumbled, getting at least a snicker from Seungcheol.

“Oh, it’ll suck, but I think we’re getting the grip on shitty conversations.” The leader provided, managing to get a grin from the other two as well. “That’s not what scares me.”

“What’s scaring you, then?” Soonyoung asked with innocence in his voice. Not because he was also scared, which he was, but because his friend was scared, and he wanted to help.

“Just… We never faced this before.” Seungcheol mumbled, pushing back the dark locks off his face. “This is getting so big, there’s so much going on, and we’re still just… Us. Half of the time I feel like we got no idea what we’re doing.”

“Hyung, I have no idea what I’m doing 90% of the time.” Soonyoung admitted, glaring at Jihoon’s chuckle. “But you know, I still do it. Just like we always did it. We kinda know and don’t know at the same time.”

“It’s scary as fuck.” Jihoon agreed, finally uncrossing his arms as he shrugged. “But like, what can we do now? We’re already here, might as well face it.”

“And what if we can’t?” The leader’s brows pulled together, those puppy eyes making another appearance.

“We’ll manage. I think that if we’re already here, like, we can find a way, you know?” Soonyoung tried to explain. “Like a video game. We can only face a certain boss if we get to a certain level. So maybe we’re at a really high level. And the boss is like, super strong and scary with eight arms that throw fireballs. But we’re a lot stronger too, you know?”

“Do you ever think before speaking?” Jihoon frowned, clearly showing how ignorant he was to Soonyoung’s genius analogy.

“No, no, I get it.” Seungcheol smiled softly, his features finally relaxing for once. “I mean, we came a long way from picking locks, right?”

“Exactly!” Soonyoung cheered before sticking his tongue out at the shorter male. “See? Hyung gets it.”

“So are we going after them or not?” Jihoon asked instead, successfully ignoring his friend.

“Not yet. We’re gonna gather information first. Lay low, stay quiet, make it harder for them to find more about us while we try to gather more about them. Maybe even ask for some help, though we gotta be careful.” Seungcheol decided, looking much more like the leader they knew. “We’re also gonna talk to the guys, see what they think. This concerns all of us.”

“Got it, boss!” Soonyoung’s grin was wide and bright as he stood to salute the other.

“Ugh, I am _not_ calling you boss.” Jihoon grumbled, still frowning after Seuncheol’s chuckle. “Now get out you two, I’m gonna get back to work.”

Soonyoung scoffed at his friend’s rudeness. “Actual work or back to stalking–“

The thief was thankful for his quick reflexes, as he managed to dodge the slipper thrown his way. Afraid of angering the boy even further, he quickly made his way out of the office along with Seungcheol, both of them laughing at Jihoon’s antics. Yes, they came a long way from picking locks, but they clearly hadn’t changed much since. And honestly, Soonyoung was glad they didn’t.

 

 

——

 

 

“How could he do this? How could Seungcheol agree to this?” Jeonghan threw himself on the end of the couch, a frown adoring his usually soft features.

“Jeonghan, just let it go.” Jisoo begged tiredly, slouching on the other side of the couch. He knew Jeonghan meant well, truly, but it had an hour since Seungcheol had told them why Junhui was supposedly mad at them and Jeonghan was still complaining about it like a dog who refused to let go of a meatless bone.

“I don’t know how you can even suggest that!” The older gasped, visibly insulted. “One of my children is mad at me and you’re just acting like it’s no big deal!”

“You really gotta stop calling us children, hyung.” Seungkwan provided from the arm chair, his legs stretched out and poking Seokmin in the back, who seemed unsurprisingly unbothered from where he sat on the floor. “And Junnie-hyung is like a year younger than you.”

“I don’t mind being called your kid.” Seokmin shrugged, missing the entire point.

“See, this is why you’re one of my favorites.” Jeonghan showed the smiley one a grateful grin before crossing his arms once again.

“Children or not, they have the right to be mad at whoever they want. Especially Jun.” Jisoo reminded him, unsure if he should continue the subject. Part of him figured Jeonghan would bring it back anyway, so he might as well get a head start.

“I know that!” The light haired groaned, now grabbing a pillow only to crunch it against his chest. “But we should get a chance to apologize properly. Jihoon doesn’t get the right to tell him to be mad at us!”

“I think he was just trying to look after him, hyung.” Seokmin suggested, now earning a pout from the other.

“You’re supposed to be my favorite, Seokminnie.” That sounded both like a plea and a sarcastic remark, and if Joshua couldn’t tell which it was, he was sure Seokmin couldn’t either.

“I’m not saying this to upset you, hyung.” The taller pouted slightly. “But I mean it. Jihoonie looks after Junnie a lot. All of us, actually.”

“And hyung’s is shit at letting out his frustrations.” Seungkwan added. “It’s healthy for him to get angry at people sometimes.”

“Not if those people are his friend who want him to be happy.” Jeonghan grumbled, slim fingers now picking at the loose threads of the cream-colored pillow.

Jisoo knew this was more than just Jeonghan being annoyed at Jihoon, or upset that Jun was mad at him. He liked helping them, all of them, and to know he wasn’t exactly allowed to now, especially at a time when one of them truly needed help, frustrated him to no end. And Jisoo truly wished he could do more to make him feel better, but this one was out of his hands.

“What if he needs someone to talk to but he’s too mad to come to us?” Jeonghan argued, a frown pulling on his almond eyes.

“He’s got other people to talk to, you know?” The youngest there reasoned, though Jisoo feared reason wouldn’t exactly work with Jeonghan this time. It was probably best to just wait this one out.

“Who? Jihoon? Yeah, ‘cause he’s such a blooming psychologist.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, the bitterness almost palpable in his words.

“Don’t be upset at Jihoon just because he did what he did.” Jisoo reprimanded, nudging the other’s thigh with his foot.

“Fine, I won’t be mad at him, but I will teach him a lesson.” The oldest frowned, and oh lord, Jisoo wondered for how long that would stretch out.

“You’re not doing anything.” He groaned, pushing his brown hair back.

“Plus, going against Jihoon is not the smartest thing, hyung.” Seokmin pointed out, though he was rarely a victim of the other’s rage. The younger boy was often too cheerful for Jihoon himself to do anything against him.

“Pfft, the day I get scared of that monosyllabic nerd is the day Hell freezes over.” Jeonghan huffed, and Jisoo would’ve probably found it cute if he wasn’t so tired of talking about this.

“You’re not doing anything to Jihoon and you’re not gonna approach Junhui about this.” Jisoo settled, now jealous of Seungcheol who had wisely decided to go train.

“And who are you to tell me what to do?” The heat in Jeonghan’s eyes was threatening, dangerous even, but he wouldn’t let that scare him.

“If you do I will wake you up everyday at 7 AM.” Jisoo thretened, the way Jeonghan’s mouth gaped in outrage showing him he’d probably be getting a cold shoulder after this conversation.

“You and Cheol can’t keep threatening me with the same thing!” The older complained, throwing the pillow down angrily.

“We can and we will. Now stop complaining about it and let it go.” Jisoo breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t worried about hurting the other, he knew Jeonghan wouldn’t be hurt so easily. After all, they’ve had far worse arguments than that. However, handling his stubborn side still proved to be a bit draining.

“ _Fine_.” Jeonghan announced, his tone both bitter and hurt as he pushed himself off the couch. “Then let him stay mad and let Jihoon dictate how everyone should feel from now on! See if I care!” The boy let out as he stormed out of the apartment.

Joshua took a deep breath, both thankful for the momentary silence and dreadful of the unavoidable consequences that would come from their little dispute. Still, it was the right thing to do, and he was sure Jeonghan would understand it eventually.

“If that’s just one of them, how the hell do you handle both?” Jisoo opened his eyes at Seungkwan’s question, spotting the two younger ones watching him with wide eyes.

“I honestly have no idea.”

 

 

——

 

 

 

It was no later than four in the afternoon when Mingyu returned from grocery shopping, with no help from anyone else, of course. He wanted to complain, after all carrying four bags of groceries wasn’t the most fun experience in the world. However, knowing most of his usual company was busy and he refused to go shopping with Soonyoung and Hansol — they always wanted to buy everything on the shelves and he did not have the patience for that,— going alone seemed like the wiser choice.

Still, he was grateful to see his two same age friends were already back when he placed the plastic bags on the kitchen table. He was sure he interrupted some sort of conversation, though knowing them they’d probably go back to it eventually.

“Hao, can you help me out with the groceries?” The tallest asked as he began taking the products out of the bags, starting with anything that could go into the fridge.

“No!” The younger replied as he practically jumped out of his seat. “I mean, I can’t. I promised Hansol I’d help him out with training today.” He quickly blurted out, seemingly in a rush as if he hadn’t just been leisurely talking to Seokmin a second ago.

“But it’ll just take a second–“ Mingyu tried, though the slim boy was already sliding past him and out the door.

“Can’t, sorry! Ask Seokminnie!” He let out before hurrying out of the apartment, barely getting his shoes on in time. And Mingyu stood there, with a carton of milk in one hand and an apple in the other, trying to understand exactly what had happened in those five minutes.

“I’m not the only one who saw that, right?” Mingyu asked his other friend, who given way his eyes bulged, seemed to be as confused as him.

“If by ‘that’ you mean how Minghao just ran from you as if you’re an overbearing shop assistant, no.” Seokmin admitted, blinking at him as Mingyu groaned and put down both the milk and the apple, grabbing a chair to sit down across from the boy.

“Good, I thought I was going crazy.” Groceries be damned, now he just wanted to slump on that chair and whine. Sue him.

“What did you do this time?” Seokmin wondered, and Mingyu knew it was out of curiosity, not judgement.

“Nothing.” The taller muttered, frowning at the slightly incredulous stare he got in return. “ _Nothing!_ Seriously, I didn’t do anything this time. He’s just been acting weird for days.” And yeah, Minghao was temperamental and bitter and he got in weird moods sometimes that Mingyu dared not to question, but he was never like this. He bickered, he didn’t run away.

“Well, maybe something happened and he’s upset.” Seokmin suggested, grabbing a pack of chips from one of the bags and pulling it open. “Did he mention anything to you?”

“No.” Mingyu admitted, which was another thing that bothered him. Minghao would talk to them if he had a problem, right? “You?”

“Nope.” Seokmin grimaced, grabbing a few of the spicy chips before offering them to Mingyu. The younger decided to accept, shoving a handful of the less than healthy snack into his mouth. “How long has he been like this?”

“I dunno-“ He made an effort to swallow down the food before speaking again. “I mean, when there’s more people around it’s fine. I only started noticing anything because when we’re alone he just bolts out, or gets all weird.” Mingyu shrugged, his elbows now resting on the table as he took more reasonable portions of the chips.

“Maybe it’s something you said. You really don’t remember when it started?” Seokmin suggested, and Mingyu was glad it was him he was having this conversation with. If it had been anyone else, they’d probably sound somewhat accusing, even if it wasn’t their intention. Seokmin, however, lacked any malicious intent. He was evidently trying to help, probably just as worried as Mingyu, and the taller was grateful for that.

“Well, not long ago that’s for sure. I mean, he was fine at the drinking party. He even helped me clean.” Mingyu blinked in realization then, looking at his friend to see if he caught his discovery. “I think it was after that!”

“After what?” Seokmin frowned in confusion, his lips already red from the spicy flavor. “The drinking party?”

“Yeah!” Mingyu nodded. “Maybe I said something then?”

“I don’t know, I think more people would’ve remembered. I don’t remember you saying anything bad to him. Well, nothing worse than usual.” The older reasoned, though he seemed invested in the idea. “But you said you cleaned together, right?”

“Yeah, but honestly, I can’t remember much.” Mingyu admitted shamefully, rubbing the back of his neck. He wasn’t the best at holding his liquor, and he was even worse at remembering things. “I just know he offered to clean the living room with me and then I slept on the couch.”

“He offered?” Seokmin raised a brow, and alright, now Mingyu heard the judgement.

“Fine, I might’ve asked, I don’t know.” Mingyu shrugged. “That’s not the point anyway. I can’t remember doing anything wrong.” He sighed once again, feeling his voice dropping at the last syllables. He wasn’t usually a mean drunk, but what if he had said something bad to his friend? What if Minghao was upset at him for genuine reasons?

“Then it’s not your fault, Gyu.” Seokmin reasoned with a warm smile that almost pushed all his troubles away. “I mean, I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. And if not, then you can just maybe ask him? Get him to give you a chance to apologize.”

“I guess.” Mingyu mumbled, taking another look at his friend’s smile to lift himself up a bit. “Thanks, Kyeommie.”

“No problem.” Seokmin practically cheered, before blinking at the table. “Uh, why is that bag leaking red?” He questioned, making Mingyu look at what his friend was talking about.

“Shit, the ice cream!”

 

 

——

 

 

“That’s it!” He had had enough. Four days had passed. Four days without Jun showing them cute videos, or making stupid jokes, or even inappropriately hugging them. Four days of their Chinese friend awkwardly avoiding them while supposedly being mad at them. It was weird, it was tiring, and Jeonghan had had enough of it.

“Han– What–?” Jisoo followed him as the older jumped off the bed, opening the bedroom door wide open.

“Jun, get in here, now!” Jeonghan called out, startling the taller boy from whatever he was looking at on his phone. He could already sense Jisoo’s disapproving glare behind him, but he didn’t care.

“Jeonghan, don’t! We promised them we’d give him time.” The younger argued, but despite all the love Jeonghan had for his boyfriend, his patience had ran incredibly short.

“Jisoo, if you’re not going to let me do this I am shoving you into the closet.” He hoped his stare was enough to convince the other of how serious he was.

“Shove me- What?” Jisoo frowned, a look that wasn’t new yet was still unusual on him. “Don’t be crazy, we’re not kids.”

Well, he gave him a fair warning. Without wasting another second, Jeonghan began pushing his slim yet surprisingly feisty boyfriend into the built in closet of the bedroom he shared with three others. He was lucky it wasn’t Seungcheol, otherwise he’d certainly not succeed.

“What the hell?!” The brown haired shouted as he was shoved into the musty, suspiciously smelly closet. “Jeonghan, let me out!”

“I’ll let you out after I do this!” Jeonghan promised as he held the doors closed together with all his strength.

“Did you just shove Shua-hyung in the closet?” Jeonghan turned around at Jun’s question, keeping the doors closed behind himself. The boy was standing by the bedroom door, sporting a black shirt and grey sweatpants, looking more confused than mad.

“It’s fine, it’s not like he’s never been in one.” Jeonghan rolled his eyes, ignoring his boyfriend’s shouts of protest.

“O…kay…?” The Chinese blinked a couple of times, and Jeonghan wasn’t sure if he didn’t get the joke or if he simply learned not to question anymore.

“Look, I’ll make this quick, okay?” Both because he didn’t want anyone else to walk in on them and because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep Jisoo in there for long.

“Sure, but, what exactly is this?” Junhui’s brows frowned in confusion, his lips pursing repeatedly as if trying to find the more appropriate words for the situation. Jeonghan doubted there were any.

“I know you’re mad at us. We know.” Jeonghan began, noticing how Junhui’s expression relaxed before turning slightly awkward once again. “And it’s fine, okay? You’re allowed to be mad at us, I get that, I really do. And they made me promise I wouldn’t bother you and I don’t wanna bother you, I just wanna talk and this is stupid–“

“Jeonghan!” Jisoo reprimanded from behind the dirty white doors, sounding much madder than he normally did.

“ _No!_ ” Jeonghan complained stubbornly. He had a point to this and he was going to get to it. “I know what it’s like, okay?!” He let it out loud and clear, so both would give him a chance to speak. “Junnie,” He took a deep breath as he looked at his friend once again, who seemed to be caught between a lovers’ spat. “I know what it’s like to be hurt by the person you trusted most.”

It hurt. It hurt to watch his expression fall. To see how his eyes softened knowingly, how his lips parted in awe. Even the rustling against the door had suddenly stopped and Joshua’s protests had quietened, but he had to say this.

“I mean, I know it doesn’t even compare to what you’ve gone through, but I think I know how it feels, just a little bit.” Jeonghan wet his bottom lip as he tried to find the right words to say what he had to say. “So I just needed you to know that if you need to talk, I’m here. Like, you can be mad at us, you can hate us, it’s fine. I get it. And I’m sorry we hid that from you. But even so, if you need to talk…” And Jeonghan knew he’d need to, eventually.

“You can go back to hating me afterwards, it’s fine. I just don’t want you to go through that on your own. It’s too hard, and it’s not fair to you. You need all the friends you can get on your side. And I want you to know that I’m one of them, even if you don’t want me there.” With that, he stepped away from the closet, letting his boyfriend out of its dark confines. He expected him to be furious, or at least look the part, but Joshua’s brows were tugged together in an almost apologetic stare.

Before he could question it though, Jeonghan felt a pair of strong arms wrapping around him, and broad shoulders blocking his vision. To say the older was surprised would be an understatement, but he welcomed the hug nonetheless, with the most amount of gratitude he could convey.

“I don’t hate you, any of you.” Junhui mumbled almost stubbornly, as if he was insulted by the accusation. “And I forgive you.” His tone was softer then, his eyes gentle as he pulled back to look at the blonde. “I was mad you guys didn’t tell me, but I’m not anymore. Really.”

“But I mean it, you can stay mad at us.” Jeonghan assured him, finding the hand that remained on his shoulder rather comforting. “I just don’t want you to think you can’t talk to us because of that.”

“Hyung, how can I even stay mad after all of that?” Junhui smiled, actually smiled, wide and bright and it was honestly all Jeonghan needed to see to put his heart at ease. “I’m really not good at staying mad anyway. Plus, seeing you shove Jisoo hyung in there was kind of funny.” He admitted with a chuckle, and even Joshua seemed a bit amused at the remark.

“Don’t give him any ideas.” The American warned, though his smile was gentle and playful.

“At least it wasn’t their closet.” Jeonghan reasoned, nudging his head towards the taller. “Can you imagine what Hansol keeps in there?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.” Junhui’s nose scrunched up in disgust before he shook his head quickly. “But still, thank you hyung, really.” The boy’s smile was warm once again. Trust Jun to thank him for shoving Jisoo in a closet and almost scaring him into a conversation he probably didn’t see coming.

The blonde shook his head, returning the grin. “Anytime, Junnie. I mean it.”

 

 

——

 

 

I had been a tiring training session, but a worthy one nonetheless. More often than so, that’s how Soonyoung knew they had been good. When his bones shook, when his muscles complained, and when his hair was in desperate need of a shower. In other words, when he was physically exhausted, yet his mind was as clear as a spring morning. Those were the training sessions that gave him the most satisfaction.

Of course, as usual, he wasn’t alone. The youngest was sitting on the tatami as well, panting with one leg stretched out and another bent at the knee, his hands propping him up. Soonyoung, however, had given up on sitting and opted for simply sprawling out on the less than clean surface, with one hand over his chest feeling his fast heartbeat gradually lower.

“Hyung,” Chan called, after they had somewhat recovered themselves. It’s not like they had been fighting much, they had been practicing mostly acrobatics and working on their stamina, which was why it had been so exhausting. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Channie.” Soonyoung rolled onto his side to look at his friend. “My Channie, my pal, my lil’ bro, hyung is always here for you.”

“Ugh, nevermind.” Chan rolled his eyes, yet Soonyoung didn’t take it to heart. He knew the boy was going through some sort of second puberty where he was a bit too snarky for his taste, but Soonyoung knew he didn’t mean it. He also knew he could be a bit overbearing on the younger sometimes, but how could he not? He was their little baby brother and the older refused to treat him otherwise.

“Noo, come on,” Soonyoung pouted, managing to sit up with his legs crossed. “Now you gotta ask.”

“Only if you stop being sappy.” The boy frowned, like always resembling his brother.

“Fine, fine.” Soonyoung agreed with a dramatic sigh. “What is troubling you, young padawan?” That wasn’t sappy, right? Chan still looked skeptical, but it seemed to be good enough for him.

“What was that meeting hyung had with you guys?” Chan wondered, and Soonyoung already knew what meeting he was referring to. He wasn’t really sure how he knew about it, if Seungcheol had told him or if he had simply seen them gathering together and assumed. He was a pretty smart kid, after all.

“Well, sorry Channie, for now that’s confidential.” Soonyoung clicked his tongue, feeling a bit apologetic. “But it’s just boring security stuff, no biggie.”

“So it wasn’t a new job, right?” The look the younger gave him told him the boy somehow already knew the answer to that.

“No. Not yet, at least.” Soonyoung shrugged, watching as the gears seemed to turn in Chan’s mind.

“We haven’t had one in a while…” The younger prompted, which made the older wonder where exactly he was going with that. Still, instead of asking, he decided to play it cool.

“Yeah, but it’s kinda been a bit busy around here, right?” He reasoned, ruffling his damp hair. “And with Junnie hurt and all it kind of complicates things. I think we all needed a break.”

“Yeah, I know.” Chan nodded, picking at the pieces of his sneakers that seemed to be literally falling apart. They should get him a new pair. The boy seemed to go through those as if they were made of paper. “But if we don’t have any new missions, why were you talking about security stuff?”

A smart kid indeed, huh? Soonyoung licked his lips, smiling a bit. He didn’t like lying to the boy. He didn’t like lying to no one, given he wasn’t exactly great at it. Sure, better than Seokmin, but still nowhere close to Jeonghan or Wonwoo. But he also didn’t like lying especially to Dino, because he always felt like he was more mature that they gave him credit for. Even if Soonyoung himself enjoyed babying the kid, he knew Chan could understand most things that went on in their apartment.

“What did you really wanna ask, Channie?” Soonyoung gave in, figuring they’d stop beating around the bush and just get to it. If Chan wanted to know, he’d find out anyway.

The youngest seemed somewhat surprised by the other’s question, perhaps not expecting to be asked so openly. He blinked a couple of times before licking his lips as well, fingers now tugging on his shoelaces. “Is there something we should be scared of?”

Soonyoung frowned slightly at Chan’s concern, because if anyone shouldn’t be worrying about that, it was him. “What do you mean?”

“Is there something we should be scared of?” The youngest repeated, his eyes now showing a vulnerability that Soonyoung hadn’t seen in a while. “Is someone after us?”

The older shook his head lightly first, only to assure the other. “No, no one’s after us.” Because they weren’t, right? At least not that they knew of. “But someone knows about us.” He really didn’t want to worry the boy with this, but he figured if he was asking, he preferred to know.

“Ming Ming?” Chan asked, his brows pulled together revealing the doubt in his eyes.

“Yeah, and whoever he’s working with, we think.” Soonyoung reasoned, because that was really most of what they knew.

“The ones in the Casino?” The youngest asked. “Are they who wanted to hurt Jun-hyung?” Soonyoung was impressed at how stable his voice was, even if it was lower than usual.

“We think so, yeah. But honestly, we’re not entirely sure ourselves.” The older admitted, trying to be as reassuring as he was being honest. “But we’re looking into it. That’s why Cheol wanted to talk to us, to kind of get organized and figure out what’s going on.”

“Uh-huh.” The boy nodded, but Soonyoung could still see a bit of doubt in his lowered gaze.

“Are _you_ scared, Channie?” He asked, trying to escape from any pitying tones. Was that what this was all about?

“Would it be stupid of I said I am?” Chan looked at him with a slight smirk, trying to be playful.

“It would be stupid if you weren’t.” Soonyoung blurted out.

“So I should be?” The younger quickly blinked, as if he had been right all along. Shit, good going Soonyoung.

“No– I mean,” The thief shook his head quickly, his hair already a mess from what it had been through so far. “Like, after all that’s happened, it’s kind of expected to be scared. But there’s no specific reason to be, we’re taking care of things.”

“So you’re not scared?” Chan raised a brow, now confusion showing in his tone as well, making Soonyoung wonder if he was just making things worse.

“Uuh, well, honestly?” The older sighed, shrugging lightly. “Yeah, I’m a bit scared. But not that anything might happen, ‘cause I don’t think that’s the case. Just ‘cause there’s some people we don’t know out there that know about us, and it scares me a bit to be left in the dark.”

“I see.” The boy nodded a bit, pressing his lips together.

“But there’s really nothing to be scared of, Channie.” Soonyoung insisted, smiling softly. “All that’s going on, or not going on, we’re taking care of it, alright? That’s our job. There’s no reason for you, or Hansolie, or any of the younger’s to be worried.”

“But isn’t it better to be scared?” Chan asked softly, catching him off-guard.

“What do you mean?” Soonyoung wondered, his own brows now frowning together.

“I don’t know, just…” He sighed, shoulders slumping as well. “We weren’t scared before, and Jun-hyung got hurt. What if we’re too confident, and someone else gets hurt? What if we’re not scared enough? What if Cheol-hyung–?”

“Hey, hey,” Soonyoung didn’t know when he moved, but he found himself now kneeling in front of the youngest, his hands squeezing his ankles in some sort of comfort. “First of all, Seungcheol is too stubborn for that and you know it, right?” The boy only lowered his head at that, pursing his lips. “And I know I can’t tell you it won’t happen again. What happened in the Casino hurt us pretty bad, and it left a pretty big mark, yeah?” It was soft, but Chan seemed to nod at that. “But that’s what scars are for. They’re there to remind us of what happened, of how it happened, to show us we got through it once and to remind us not to let it happen again.” Chan seemed to relax a bit at that, with the way his expression softened and he was more willing to face Soonyoung.

“And I think you’re right, in a way.” The thief confessed, sitting back now to give the boy a bit more space. “It’s smart to be a bit scared. I think we all are, on different levels.”

“Really?” The way the boy asked that simple question almost took him nine years back, when he was still just a little kid with far too much to find out about the world.

“Yeah.” Soonyoung agreed. “But we also can’t let that fear take over us, alright? Instead, we gotta use it to fuel us, to keep us working harder.” The older explained, unsure of where those words came from. He supposed this conversation was helping him as well, in some way.

“That makes sense.” Chan agreed, sporing a warm smile now that eased all the concern in Soonyoung’s heart.

“Of course I am! I’m a genius, you know?” The thief teased, lightly kicking the boy’s shin.

“I thought that was Jihoon-hyung’s job.” Chan teased back.

“Eh, can’t there be two geniuses in the group?” Soonyoung frowned, a bit displeased with the statement.

“Yeah, I guess there is.” Chan agreed with a bright smile, to Soonyoung’s own surprise, and he was so, so tempted to ruin the moment. So tempted to throw his arms around Chan and squeeze the love out of him and call him the cutest baby. But thankfully, he refrained, only sending him a grateful smile in return.

It wasn’t everyday he was called a genius, after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS AND ALL THE KUDOS AND HITS SERIOUSLY THANK YOU SO MUCH 
> 
> This took way longer than I thought but as the story gets a bit thicker now I am really trying to organize the chapters properly.  
> Not to mention these two weeks have been busier than I predicted and I suck at time managing ok-
> 
> That being said, I just wanted to let you guys know I go on holiday next week and therefore I probably won't be able to post until about mid february.  
> I really wanted to have more written out so I could post quickly when I get back, but I really didn't get to write much this week orz
> 
> Also, thank you so much for those who replied and said they'd be interested in the powers/college au!  
> I still got a lot of it to figure out but knowing some of you would be interested motivates me to work on it! ( ~~though I do want to have more of this one done before actually starting anything~~ )
> 
> As usual, comments are always welcome! I love reading them over and over again so please let me know what you think!  
> Also, I always reread before posting but I ALWAYS miss some typos, so please don't be afraid to point them out! It'd be helping me a lot ^^


	23. I’m just facing the wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But what can we do, then?” Sokmin wondered with a curious but gentle voice, managing to pull out a smile from the other.
> 
> “The same thing you always do.”
> 
> “Try to conquer the world?” Seungkwan suggested with a grin, feeling a burst of success as an honest laugh escaped Jeonghan’s lips.
> 
> “No, I’m pretty sure that’s what Hao does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHAT BITCH IS BACK
> 
> sorry that was uncalled for
> 
> anyway explanations to why I took an age to post are in the bottom notes, meanwhile enjoy this long mess-

 

 

Sharing a bedroom with five other people, one never knew who they could find in said room. Occasionally all of them, rarely none of them, and not so rarely people who didn’t even sleep in that room. So really, any of the members could be found in the biggest room of the house. This afternoon, however, Junhui only found Wonwoo.

His friend was lying on his bed with a book held up above his face and his specs resting easily over his nose. Jun was sure the position was bad for the other in so many different ways, but when it came to Wonwoo’s reading habits there wasn’t much point in trying to correct them. Instead, the Chinese jumped onto his own bed, swiftly lying on his back as well with his hands behind his head.

Honestly, he didn’t have much of a plan before coming in. He just wanted to relax, maybe find someone to help him chase away his boredom. However, he knew Wonwoo didn’t like being interrupted while he was reading, so Jun would settle simply for the silent company. Perhaps he’d play some games on his phone, or at least clean some out given he was running out of storage space yet again.

“Bored?” A low voice interrupted his thoughts, making him glance at the boy on the other bed. He didn’t like interrupting Wonwoo, but when the guy did it himself, it wasn’t really his fault, was it?

“Terribly.” Junhui groaned, shifting onto his side in a half seated position, with the side of his torso leaning uncomfortable against a pile of pillows he quickly gathered.

Wonwoo only snickered, yet he put down his book, showing he was done for the moment. A mellow warmth spread through his chest at the action, seeing in those little moments how much his friend enjoyed his company as well. That, and because he kind of missed talking to Wonwoo.

The two hadn’t had a proper conversation since the talk about Ming Ming. There were several reasons behind it, from both sides, Junhui was sure. Yet if anyone asked him, he simply didn’t want to go into the subject with any of the members any time soon. Not before he made up his mind, at least. And that was the thing about Wonwoo — Jun knew he already had his mind made up. Probably already had it even before it all happened. So the last thing he wanted was to have yet another argument with one of his best friends.

“Mingyu was going to clean the drains.” Wonwoo recalled, trying to hide the smirk on the corner of his lips. “I’m sure he’d love some help.”

“Do not use my willingness to help against me, Wonwoo.” Junhui reprimanded with a frown, yet the more they talked the lighter he felt. “It was hard enough to avoid his puppy eyes. No wonder Hao’s always helping him against his will.”

“Speaking of Tom and Jerry,” A sweet nickname they called them once in a while. Always behind their backs, of course. “Wanna tell me why Minghao’s avoiding Gyu?”

Jun blinked a couple of times. Honestly, he had no idea that was even happening. He had been a bit secluded, if that was the right word. For his own reasons, of course. So he wasn’t really keeping up with what was happening around the house.

The Chinese groaned, sitting up while Wonwoo mimicked his position. “Please tell me he isn’t.”

“As if he’s Chan and Mingyu is a sentimental Jeonghan.” Wonwoo added helpfully, making the taller groan once again.

Yes, he knew why Minghao was avoiding Mingyu. Because Junhui told him it was okay to take some time and figure out his feelings. He didn’t mean for him to avoid his own best friend and probably make him feel alienated, though. Unfortunately, he had no chance to explain that to his younger friend, given he had been in over his head with his own problems. Guilt caught up to him now though, and it felt thick and heavy in his gut as he thought of how Minghao had to deal with his feelings on his own with no one to talk to.

The older sighed, brushing his hair back with his fingers. “He just found out he likes Mingyu.” And he felt no guilt in telling Wonwoo, because—

“You’re fucking with me. Just now?” Yes, Wonwoo already knew. Junhui was surprised everyone didn’t know, because the two were as obvious as fucking daylight. But perhaps because Wonwoo and him knew them best, it had always been crystal clear to them.

“Yep.” Jun popped the ‘p’ at the end, smiling small. “And now he’s freaking out because he doesn’t wanna mess up their friendship and all that.” He waved his hand on, because they both knew the type of concern.

“They’re the shittiest version of a Love Actually story.” Wonwoo was the one to groan now, clearly annoyed by their friend’s denial. Finally, someone Junhui could share his frustrations with.

“I know right?” Junhui exclaimed, raising his arms. “And you know what else? Mingyu actually told Hao he’s his favorite person or some shit like that, and Hao still doesn’t think he’ll return his feelings.” The older blurted out, clearly needing to share.

“Wait, what did Gyu tell him?” Wonwoo frowned in confusion, which surprised Junhui as well, because if Mingyu would tell anyone about it, it would be Wonwoo. And given Minghao, one of the most closed off stubborn headed guys Jun knew came to him to talk about it, Mingyu would’ve definitely told his older friend as well.

“I don’t remember exactly, something about best person, favorite friend.” Junhui tried to recall, scratching his neck. “It was something really cute though. Of course, they were drunk, so it might sound cuter than it actually was.” He reasoned.

“Eugh, of course they were drunk.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes, and Jun would be lying if he said he didn’t feel a bit proud in his friend adopting some of his habits. “Mingyu is a forgetful drunk. Honestly, he doesn’t remember half the shit he does. Or says.”

“Of course he doesn’t.” Because this little tale had to get inconvenient. “So, Hao’s avoiding Gyu because of a possible confession that he doesn’t even remember?”

“And Hao is probably biting his nails over the fact that Mingyu doesn’t remember anything either.” Wonwoo reasoned, and now both groaned in unison at the mess of their friend’s relationship. “Forget Love Actually, this has tv drama written all over it.” The younger huffed, yet still snickered to himself. Well, they could at least find some amusement in all of this.

“Why is everyone in this apartment so emotionally constipated?” The Chinese complained.

“Says the guy dating Jihoon.” Wonwoo let out a chuckle while trying to avoid the pillow thrown at him.

“At least he did something! I get what Hao’s feeling, I really do,” And it moved him so much when his friend came to him for help. A couple of years ago, Junhui would have had to pull his feelings out of him with a wrench. “But if he keeps avoiding Mingyu, he’s gonna get hurt too.”

“He’s already hurting.” The younger mumbled, though he didn’t seem upset, only still frustrated. “What are we gonna do?”

What could they do? “Nothing.” The answer seemed to take the other by surprised with the way his brows rose. “For now, at least. There’s no point meddling in. If I know Hao, he’ll think we’re just plotting against him or some shit and push us away even more.” Junhui explained, wetting his lips. “We just gotta wait for them to figure it out, and if it starts taking too long, we sit down and talk to them separately.”

“Alright…” Wonwoo nodded. “You sure?”

“Dude,” Junhui chuckled. “I’m not sure about anything anymore.” Maybe that sounded a bit darker than it should have, and it showed when Wonwoo’s eyes squinted a bit. “But I think we gotta let them come to each other.” The taller added with a softer tone.

“Hopefully they’re not too stupid not to find the way.” Wonwoo tried lightening the mood, and given how Jun found himself smiling, he’d say it worked.

“Wanna tell me about that plant, though?” The Chinese changed the subject, pointing to the little succulent on the desk under the window. It had appeared there the night before, though only now he got the chance of asking. The leafs were a pale green, flat yet slightly chubby in a way that made Junhui want to squish them. Their tips were triangular though, turning into a delicate shade of red. The plant itself sat on a small blue pot, discrete yet welcoming, much like Wonwoo himself.

“I don’t know.” Wonwoo blinked a couple of times, looking back at the plant that watched them from behind him. “I just found it in the kitchen yesterday, it had my name on it but didn’t say who it was from.”

“Uhuh…” Junhui hummed for a tad too long, getting an annoyed glare in return.

“Don’t start.” Wonwoo warned, because they both knew exactly who it was from.

Junhui scoffed. “You know, you talk about those two but you’re no better.” He accused, only getting a shrug as a reply.

“I don’t know what you mean, we’re already figured out.” Wonwoo insisted, with his tone light as if there was no reason to question him.

“You know what? I’ll bite, ‘cause I can’t deal with more of this shit right now.” Junhui surrendered, grabbing a pillow to hold against his lap. “What’s its name, anyway?” He wondered, figuring that if he couldn’t fight them, he might as well join them.

“Echeveria Crassulaceae.” Wonwoo answered, or at least Junhui thought he did, because honestly he couldn’t understand one syllable he said. “Well I’m sure Echeveria is the genus, I’m just not entirely sure of the species. But from what I looked up, that’s the one.”

“God, you’re a nerd.” Junhui almost failed to hold back a laugh, especially when Wonwoo tried to throw a pillow back at him. “I meant the name you gave her, smart ass.”

“Oh.” The younger blinked, scratching his head. “I don’t know, it’s a plant, I didn’t think it needed a name.”

The Chinese gasped at the almost insult, shaking his head. “Of course it needs a name, everybody needs a name! It doesn’t need to be fancy, just something that you like. Or maybe something it reminds you of.”

“Uh…” For someone who hadn’t considered the option at first, Wonwoo seemed to be putting a lot of thought into the name. Junhui could tell by how his eyes relaxed and aimed at the plant, not really paying attention to their surroundings.

“Byeol.” His friend answered gently, softening Jun’s expression as well.

“Byeol is a good name.” The taller agreed with a warm smile, glad to meet one in return, even if his chest squeezed a bit. “Wonwoo?”

“Yeah?” The boy blinked, waiting.

“Don’t get hurt, okay?” Junhui asked, tried not to plead, because he knew he tended to do that too much sometimes.

“Come on, you’re worrying too much again.” Wonwoo snickered, lightly kicking his knee from across the space between them. Junhui bit back a grin, trying to return the ever so loving gesture, even if he wasn’t fully satisfied with his answer.

Because honestly, how could he not worry?

 

 

——

 

 

It was a nice, sunny afternoon when Seungcheol made his way to the park. The days were starting to get warmer, but still cool enough so he could throw a jumper on and stay comfortable. Apparently school hadn’t ended yet either, or maybe kids were simply getting tired of playing outside, given how quiet everything was. Not that Seungcheol was one to judge, he too was guilty of spending his teenage years stuck inside playing video games with Jihoon and Soonyoung.

It didn’t take long before he found the open basketball court, the net ripped and barely hanging on. Standing on the sun heated concrete were Mingyu, Wonwoo and Hansol, chatting and laughing about something Seungcheol had no clue of.

“Hey,” The leader called, hands in his pockets as they acknowledged his presence with a nod. “What’d you want me for?”

“Ah, hyung!” Hansol grinned, greeting him with a high five as his left hand was busy holding a basketball. “Glad you could come. We wanted to play in teams but it’s hard with three.” The younger explained.

“What?” Seungcheol frowned slightly, “I thought you said it was an emergency.”

“Well, it kinda is. Do you know how hard it is to get this court for ourselves?” Hansol reasoned, if one could even call that reasoning. “Another half hour and those annoying kids from the east block would’ve claimed it.”

“Yah, I told you to stop using emergency for everything!” The leader scolded, though all he got in return was a slightly apologetic smile. “Plus, I got stuff to do.”

“C’mon hyung,” It was Mingyu now who tried winning him over with his tell-tale whine. “It’s been ages since we played. You can work later.”

“You’re already here now anyway.” Wonwoo reasoned, clearly with more experience in doing so. “Might as well get something out of the trip.”

“It’s a ten minute trip.” The oldest pointed out with a skeptical glare, which soon washed away when Hansol tossed him the ball.

“Come on hyung, less talk more game.” The youngest gave him a challenging grin, and damn him if he’d ever let that kid talk back at him like that.

“Fine.” Seungcheol relented, bouncing the ball a bit to get himself warmed up. “What are the teams?”

“I wanna pair with Wonwoo-hyung.” Mingyu raised his hand as if it was actually needed.

“You always pair with him!” Hansol half complained, half laughed.

“That’s because I know we can beat hyung.” The taller smirked. They really were getting sassier, huh? Seungcheol would have to teach them a lesson.

“Your height ain’t gonna keep you from getting your ass kicked, Mingyu-ah.” The leader claimed with an admittedly smug grin, perhaps getting a bit carried away by their silly trash talk.

“Can we please stop the High School Musical dialogue and start playing?” Wonwoo rolled his eyes, and despite the language the leader figured he had a point.

Being so, they started the game. It was more messing around than an actual game, but it didn’t mean they didn’t give it their all. Scoring, missing, laughing, definitely committing some fowls, the game went on for longer than Seungcheol expected. They won, of course. Like hell he’d ever let Mingyu talk to him like that and get away with it.

When the boys finally had no energy to spare, the sun had already began to sweat, the breeze starting to cool down their sweaty skin. Seungcheol retrieved his jumper from where he had tossed by the side of the court. Jeonghan would no doubt scold him for getting it dirty yet again, but he’d scold him even more if he returned home in just his sleeveless shirt. The rest of the boys did the same, all still panting with their hairs damp and falling over their eyes a bit.

“So,” Seungcheol called softly as they began making their way back home. He walked along with Hansol, while the other two walked in front of them, forming almost a barrier. “What was this all about?”

“Uh?” Hansol blinked, snapping out of whatever daydream took over his mind this time. “Well, you see, usually when friends enjoy doing certain things, they do them together. Like playing sports, or video games, or watching movies. That is popularly referred to as ‘hanging out’.”

Seungcheol snorted, elbowing the other’s side a bit too roughly. “Yah, stop joking, I mean it.”

Hansol laughed in return, recovering from the small attack. “I mean it too, hyung.” His tone was more serious, but a smile still adorned his face, like it often did. “Seriously. I couldn’t remember the last time we went out to play. Do you?”

The leader blinked at the question, though now that he thought of hit, he also couldn’t recall. “Huh.”

“See?” The younger’s grin turned softer. “We gotta do these things, y’know? Hanging out and shit. Or else we’re gonna go crazy, bro.”

“Uhuh…” Seungcheol hummed, nodding lightly. He got it, in away. After all, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel much better after their game. Tired? yes. Smelly? Maybe. But so, so much lighter. So much happier. “I thought Shua was your bro.” The leader decided to tease then, trying to keep up the good mood.

Hansol’s laugh came through, though the boy shook his head lightly. “You’re all my bros. Josh is just like, my bro bro, you know? Like core-bro.”

“Should I be worried then?” The leader raised an accusing brow, though he couldn’t hide the grin that tugged on the corner of his lips.

“Nah, the bro bond is strong, but it’s all brotherly bro love.” Hansol explained as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

“If you say the word ‘bro’ again, I’m throwing this ball at your face.” Wonwoo’s voice called out, and the two now turned their heads to the other’s annoyed frown. Seungcheol could only laugh as Hansol hid behind him, his body shaking a bit as the younger gripped his shoulders.

“You wouldn’t! Hyung, tell him he can’t do that.” Hansol pleaded, though Seungcheol only gave him a grin.

“You’re on your own, _bro_.”

 

 

——

 

 

“So…” Hansol was the first to speak after Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Jihoon had finished explaining all that they knew to them. Which at the same time that it sounded like a lot, really wasn’t much. “The guys who scammed me are the ones after us?”

“We’re assuming so, yeah.” Seungcheol’s arms were crossed from where he stood in front of the TV. As careful as they were delivering the message, Hansol couldn’t deny the guilt that weighed down on his stomach, even if he knew deep inside it wasn’t really his fault.

“How is that possible?” Mingyu was the one to ask, his long legs stretched out under the coffee table. “They were just some phony company back then and we basically dismantled them, how did they even get so big?” He had a point. To be dealing with a Casino’s security, and with their illegal matters, they had to have had some sort of reputation.

“That’s also what we’re trying to find out.” Soonyoung admitted. “You know, along with everything else we don’t know yet.”

“But they’re after us?” Hansol confirmed more than asked, though the three still nodded in reply. “Why? Is it some kind of personal vendetta shit?”

“That’s what we’re going with so far.” The leader sighed, pushing his dark hair back. It didn’t seem to take him long to spot the hesitance in the younger’s eyes though, not that Hansol was ever good at keeping a straight face. “This isn’t on you, Hansolie.”

“I know, I know.” The younger waved them off with a small smile. the last thing he wanted was to give them more reason to worry. “Still…”

“You were the only one who didn’t go after them that day.” Wonwoo reminded him, looking down at the boy from where he sat on the couch. “If anything, we’re to blame, not you.” Hansol couldn’t help to feel somewhat shielded by the other’s words. He knew they’d have his back, but it always felt nice to be reminded.

“What about his family?” Seungkwan was the one to ask now, sitting beside him on the floor. “You said they might know about them.” The concern in his voice was evident, as if he was talking of his own family.

“Like before, we’re cutting contact with all families once again. Especially the ones Ming Ming knew about.” Jihoon instructed, and this time it came as no shock. In fact, Hansol was sure all of them would do that even if they weren’t required to, just to be safe. “I’m keeping an eye on all of them, especially yours, Hansol. If there’s even a sign of a reason to be worried, we’ll forge a small contest and they’ll win a trip to America, it’s all planned out.”

The younger felt a small breath of relief leave him. Knowing that there was a plan to keep them safe gave him a bit more confidence. After all, he trusted them. If they said they’d protect his family, he believed them.

“And what about Ming Ming?” There was the question no one wanted to ask, yet it was the youngest who was brave enough to do so. The tension was almost visible, fogging up the room and making the air harder to breathe.

“We told you all we know by now.” Seungcheol reminded them, his voice firm yet still with a hint of warmth, knowing how delicate the subject was. “All the things we know are things we could only assume. We _assume_ he’s working with them, we _assume_ he’s been with them for at least year, but nothing is certain. We don’t know why he’s with them, but—“

“You assume he’s told them about us.” Jeonghan was so professional it almost didn’t sound like him. Hansol wasn’t sure if he was trying to emphasize how serious this was or if he was simply trying to keep his feelings at bay.

“It’s safe to assume so, isn’t it?” Junhui’s voice cut through the tension like a knife. It was low, lacking it’s usual bouncy quality, instead carrying a heavier note. “He was there, it couldn’t be just a coincidence.”

Hansol glanced at Seungkwan and Chan, the ones closest to him, both of them sharing the same look. It felt wrong, hearing those words coming from their friend. He supposed all of them expected him to still be somewhat protective of his old friend, however it appeared that the older was finally giving into the facts before him. Supposedly it was a good thing, but it didn’t feel good.

“Yes, we can’t afford to blame things on coincidence anymore.” In contrast, Jihoon’s voice was softer, as if trying to comfort the other even if they stood far apart.

“But you said we can’t know why he joined them.” Seokmin continued, clearly trying to being some hope to the conversation. “And I mean, from the conversation you had…”

“We can’t know anything.” Seungcheol sighed once again, rubbing the back of his neck a bit too hard. “He could’ve been lying, he could’ve been telling the truth, we have no fucking clue. And there’s no hint to why he’s helping them. It could’ve been willingly, but there’s always the option he might’ve been forced. And honestly, I don’t know which is worst.”

“So what do we do?” Jisoo asked, the voice of reason providing some sort of guidance in the conversation. No doubt it hurt him to see Seungcheol so helpless.

“Right now, like I said, we’re investigating them while keeping a low profile. We gotta know more about them before they know about us. And regarding Ming Ming…” Seungcheol pressed his lips together before looking at the older Chinese in the room. “We’re leaving that up to you, Jun-ah.”

The taller seemed to blink out surprise, staring at their leader with as much confusion as the rest of them did. “What?”

“I know it’s somewhat of a burden, but we want you to decide what to do in case we find out he’s in danger.” The leader explained, though it didn’t seem to make things easier.

Hansol was sure the older had been thinking about that for the last few days. And just out of curiosity, he stole a glance at Minghao to see how he was dealing with it. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to make any mention to speak up, perhaps taking the previous advice Hansol had given him.

“But you said you don’t know, right?” Jun asked for confirmation, his voice a bit shakier than before, though it didn’t seem to be out of sadness. Hansol wondered if he was simply scared of being caught off guard once again.

“We don’t.” Seungcheol reassured him. “We just wanted you to be the one to make this decision. With all that’s happened, and what you two shared, it didn’t seem fair for anyone else to make the call.”

“Junnie.” Jihoon was the one to call, the Chinese’s eyes immediately shifting to meet his. “All we wanna know is if you want us to help him in case we find out he needs help.” He clarified with no judgement in his tone.

“I…” Jun liked his lips, and despite his hesitant eyes, Hansol felt the older already knew his answer. Perhaps he was just afraid of their reaction, which somewhat hurt the younger a bit. The last thing he wanted was the older to be afraid of them. “I wanna help.”

There were a few who visibly tensed at that, Wonwoo and Minghao were two of them, but not the only ones. If Hansol was fully honest with himself, he wasn’t that happy either. Yet it still felt somewhat comforting to know that deep inside Jun was still his caring self.

Thankfully, no one gave a judgmental comment. Even so, Jun lowered his head lightly, fumbling with his thumbs. “I don’t forgive him.” He explained, even if he didn’t have to. “I know you’re scared that I will, but I don’t. I can’t, not yet.”

“Jun, you don’t have to—“ Hansol tried, but the other was quickly shaking his head, giving him a thankful look.

“I know, but I want to. I want you guys to know why.” Junhui insisted, now finally staring back at all of them. “He didn’t just hurt me, he hurt us, and I can’t forgive that.” He continued, his tone a bit more certain now. “But if there’s any chance he’s being hurt, if there’s any chance he’s in danger… I can’t turn my back on him. I can’t simply pretend he doesn’t need my help.”

“Are you sure, hyung?” Mingyu asked, though he truly only seemed to want the other’s confirmation.

The older replied with a nod, gulping quietly. “He was like a brother to me. And I know half of you didn’t even know him, but just… If it was Samuel, wouldn’t you want to do the same for him?”

It felt like a low blow, bringing the other up, but Hansol knew Jun would never be capable of intentionally pressing them against the wall. He was simply trying to make them understand, and not surprisingly, they did.

“We understand, Junnie.” Soonyoung admitted, his smile small but gentle, honest. “And it doesn’t matter what we think, whatever you wanna do regarding him, we got your back.” The rest of them either hummed or nodded in agreement, and only then could he see the tension leaving the Chinese’s broad shoulders.

“Thanks, guys.” Hansol could practically feel the older’s gratefulness in his smile, and he couldn’t help returning it as well.

Silence didn’t take over the room for long before the youngest was piping up again.”So…” He looked around before settling on his older brother. “What do we do now?”

The three in front of the TV looked at each other before Soonyoung shrugged. “Movie night?”

“Seriously?” And the judgment was back with Jihoon’s skepticism, though as usual it didn’t make a dent on Soonyoung’s confidence.

“Horror movie night?” Minghao suggested instead, to which Seungkwan gasped with the utmost offense.

“No, nu-huh, no way!” His friend shook his head quickly, practically clinging to Hansol for support even though they were both sitting down. “I am not watching another horror movie with you! I couldn’t sleep for days!”

Perhaps it was wrong, how easily the conversation went from something serious to Seungkwan and Minghao discussing how terrible each other’s movie choices were. Yet Hansol couldn’t help laughing at their antics, almost falling to the side as Seungkwan tried to physically drag him into the conversation to take his side. Even Junhui looked tempted to join in, with more glee in his eyes than Hansol had seen in days.

Perhaps it was wrong, but it was just how they functioned. And if anyone asked him, he’d say it worked just fine.

 

 

——

 

 

Yes, they did end up watching a horror movie. If they could even call it that. It was an old Japanese film that was more senseless comedy than horror. No, it was not funny. Not to Seungkwan, at least. After all it was two in the morning and he still couldn’t fall asleep because the image of a butt-biting floating head still cursed his thoughts.

So he did what everyone apparently did when they couldn’t sleep in the middle of the night. He went to get some milk.

In the kitchen he found Dokyeom sitting with a tired expression and a glass half full of milk. His eyes seemed to light up a bit when he spotted the younger, though Seungkwan knew that was an automatic response to whenever he saw any of them. Still managed to be sweet though, even if he’d never admit it.

“Can’t sleep either?” Seungkwan wondered, thankful that the older hadn’t put away the milk yet and serving himself a mug.

“No. How am I supposed to go to class in five hours when I can’t stop thinking about the floating head?” Seokmin groaned.

“Oh my god!” The younger exclained as he took the spot across from him with the powdered chocolate mix. What? He was a young adult who happened to enjoy chocolate milk. “You too still thinking about the butt biting?”

“Of course! You can’t simply erase that from your mind.” Seokmin complained, though he seemed to be glad someone understood. Seungkwan had to admit he shared the same feeling. “Where did Jisoo-hyung even find that movie?”

“I got no fucking clue, but I’m making a petition to ban all horror movies from this apartment from now on.” The shorter grumbled as he mixed in the brown dust into the milk, enjoying the nostalgic scent that came with it.

“What are you two up and whining about?” Both boys looked up to see Jeonghan entering the kitchen in a pair of grey sweatpants and a disheveled shirt that looked a couple sizes too big for his frame. Still, the bastard made it look good.

“We’re banning horror movies from the apartment.” Seokmin explained as the eldest opened the fridge to grab a bottle of water. Jisoo would probably be frustrated someone drank from the bottle he liked taking to class, but if anyone could get away with it, it was Jeonghan.

“Seriously? Because of Hausu?” His frown was almost comical as he twisted the cap open. “That can barely be considered horror.”

“Oh yeah? Say that to the floating head that bites butts.” Seungkwan frowned back, wiping the chocolate mustache off his upper lip.

“Huh,” Jeonghan’s head tilted to the side a bit after he chugged down half the bottle. “I honestly thought the banana man would scare you more.”

“Shit,” Seokmin cursed, eyes a bit wide as he stared back at Seungkwan. “I forgot about the banana man.”

Seungkwan scoffed at the oldest’s chuckle, looking up at him accusingly. “Who are you to talk, hyung? You’re up at this ungodly hour too.” He pointed out, knowing Jeonghan was an expert at pretending nothing affected him.

“Who said it’s because of the movie? Maybe something else kept me up.” Jeonghan’s grin was smug and a bit sleazy, which made the youngest’s frown quickly turn into disgust.

“Ew, gross, I don’t wanna know.” Because he knew that expression and if he had any intention of sleeping tonight, he wouldn’t question it.

 

Thankfully, Jeonghan simply let out a hearty laugh before finishing the content of the bottle. To Seungkwan’s own surprise, he actually began filling it back up. “Ah, Seungkwanie, you’re too easy to mess with.”

“Thanks for ruining any chance of sleep I still had left.” The student grumbled, once again followed by a laugh from the other.

“Whatever, you two should still try sleeping. Don’t you have class in the morning?” Because despite everyone’s complaining, Jeonghan was still very much like a mother and knew most of their schedules.

“It’s hard to sleep with the thought that a head might come bite you in the ass, hyung.” Seokmin’s voice was so innocent and honest, Seungkwan could’ve burst out laughing if he wasn’t victim of the same cursed image.

“Then just sleep on your backs.” The eldest grinned playfully, proving once again he was of no help at all.

“It’s also hard sleeping after that whole conversation.” Seungkwan didn’t even know when the words slipped his lips, but when he looked up from his mug, the two were staring at him in silence. The only thing that broke said silence was a chair gently scraping against the tiles and Jeonghan taking a seat next to him.

“You guys don’t need to be scared, okay?” All the playfulness in the eldest’s tone had made way to comfort and patience. It was almost scary how quickly his attitude could change. “We’re taking care of everything so we won’t make more mistakes.”

“We know, hyung.” Seokmin smiled gratefully before stealing a glance at the youngest. “I think, it’s just hard to believe so much is going on when everything still feels…”

“Normal.” Seungkwan finished his sentence, glad they were on the same page. It was odd yet always comforting, how Seokmin and him understood each other so well. “Apart from what happened in the Casino, it feels like we’re still doing the same thing we were doing six months ago.” He tried to explain, looking at Jeonghan. “We’re still playing around and going to class and… Shouldn’t we be taking things more seriously?”

“No.” Jeonghan’s answer was so quick and blunt, Seungkwan wondered if he had simply imagined it. “Look,” The older sighed, pushing his hair back. “We can’t start taking things more seriously than we already are. This is the first night I’ve seen Seungcheol actually sleep for more than an hour without waking up.” Seungkwan’s stomach turned a bit as he imagined the stress the leader must’ve been going through. “We’ve already been taking things seriously enough. Cheol’s stressed out, Jun has more than enough on his plate, and I’m seriously considering removing the door of Jihoon’s office if he spends another night in there.”

“But what can we do, then?” Sokmin wondered with a curious but gentle voice, managing to pull out a smile from the other.

“The same thing you always do.”

“Try to conquer the world?” Seungkwan suggested with a grin, feeling a burst of success as an honest laugh escaped Jeonghan’s lips.

“No, I’m pretty sure that’s what Hao does.” The older joked, his warm smile fitting him much better than the worried frown he had moments ago. “Just keep doing this, be yourselves. And this isn’t just some ‘you do you and always be yourself’ kind of shit. Just, honestly, you guys help us so fucking much by just being you and not taking things too seriously. We need to keep in mind that there’s more to life than missions and things to worry about.”

Perhaps Jeonghan simply had a way with words, they knew that much was true, but Seungkwan felt much more confident ever he explained it to them. Sure, he always felt pleasure in making his friends feel better, but to know it actually made a difference somehow made his efforts even more important.

“Like butt-biting heads?” Seokmin teased, earning a snicker from the one who was already pushing himself up and placing the bottle back in the fridge.

“Yes Kyeommie, like butt-biting heads.” Jeonghan granted. “Though if you ask me, I’m not entirely against some butt biting.” The older gave off a teasing grin before leaving the kitchen, pretending not to hear the other two groan in protest.

“ _Did not ask!_ ” Seungkwan called out before crossing his arms on the table in front of him and plopping his head down on it. Yep, whatever hope he had of catching some sleep that night was clearly far and gone now.

 

 

——

 

 

Jihoon wasn’t sure how long it had passed since he’d messaged Jun before the taller walked in through the door. He had kept himself busy with the last few details of what he wanted to show the other, unintentionally not even sparing him a glance as the male stood next to him.

“Hey, grab a seat.” Jihoon instructed before taking a sip from the now bitterly cold coffee that sat for far too long in his tumbler.

When the taller didn’t reply nor made any means to do as he was told, Jihoon looked up at him in question. Junhui stood there with his brows pulled in a judging frown and his arms crossed over his chest. As oblivious as the hacker was, even he knew the taller was upset about something. The question was, what?

He didn’t recall ignoring him, or forgetting to take a break during work. He even went outside today! That was saying something. Something incredibly pathetic, but something.

Taking a quick look around his office, Jihoon finally realized what was wrong. With a roll of his eyes he was sure he picked up from the other, he leaned over his desk to turn on the small red desk lamp, immediately lighting up a grin on Junhui’s face as well.

“Thank you.” The Chinese piped, always so insisting on Jihoon turning on a damn light in the room so he’d stop forcing his eyesight. The younger thought it was a lost cause already given his growing astigmatism, but he’d figured out long ago that it was easier to surrender to Junhui’s pampering than to argue against it. “Now gimme some room.” The taller gestured, earning a frown in return.

“Get your own chair.” Jihoon complained. “We can’t both fit on this one.”

“But I wanna stay close to you!” The other pouted, yet again trying to get his own way. Not satisfied with the whining, he even tried sitting on Jihoon’s lap, though the younger was quick to push him away.

“Yah, you wanna break me!?” He let out. As strong as he was, he was not confident in holding Junhui up on his lap.

“Are you saying I’m heavy?” The taller gasped, clenching his chest.

“No, I’m saying you’re a giant.” He grumbled, once again resigning to the other’s wishes and getting up to give him his spot instead. Ignoring the thumping in his chest, Jihoon then took the spot on his lap, trying not to think too much about the arms that now wrapped around his waist. Instead, the hacker decided to focus on the larger screen in front of them, waiting for the video feed to start.

“What are we watching?” Junhui wondered, obnoxiously placing his chin on the boy’s shoulder.

“A video trying to buffer with our shitty internet.” Jihoon complained, tapping his short nails impatiently on the wooden surface.

Only after what seemed like ages, finally, finally did the video feed come in. It was laggy and at most 480p, but it was the best he could do at the moment. They could still spot the gymnasium, with a group of kids, perhaps teenagers, running around in what seemed to be a soccer game.

“…You know we get ESPN, right?” Junhui pointed out, huffing out a small complaint when Jihoon answered his question with an elbow to the stomach.

“Shut up and pay attention.” Jihoon mumbled, reaching out to point at the kid with the yellow shirt. “There, I think it’s him.” Even with the low quality video, Jihoon could spot the round cheeks and the glasses that probably shouldn’t be worn during a soccer game.

“Who?” Junhui questioned, leaning over a bit and almost squishing Jihoon against the desk. “Wait, is that my town?” The older asked, probably recognizing the old gym. “Jihoonie, what am I seeing?” His voice was soft now, curious yet almost afraid. No, not afraid, vulnerable. For a moment, Jihoon wondered if this was the right thing to do, but there was no going back now, was there?

The shorter wet his lips, buying himself some time to build a little courage and hope this was not in vain. “That’s your brother.” He killed the suspense, pointing once again to the young teen that was now joking with one of his friends.

The hands on his stomach seemed to stiffen, the breath that was once hitting his shoulder stopped. Jihoon resisted the urge to close his eyes, his normal reaction to situations where he screwed up. Instead he dared glancing at Jun, whose eyes seemed not to even blink.

“That’s Fengjun?” His voice was even softenr now, almost a whisper. The hacker nodded in return.

“It’s hard to see in this quality, but I’m 99% sure.” Jihoon admited. He had done quite a lot of researched before finding the boy. From searching his family name to finding out his schedule. “He has soccer practice every Tuesdays and Thursdays. I had to wait for a clear day too to help the streaming.” The hacker explained, but the other seemed not to care about the details.

“I didn’t even recognize him.” The male let out a shaky chuckle, his hands wrapping a bit tighter around him.

“I’m sorry, this video is shitty—“

“No, no.” Junhui shook his head quickly, taking in a slow breath. “Just, he’s so big you know? Last I remember, I could carry him on my shoulders. He was just this tiny little thing, and now… I can’t even tell him apart.” His words contrasted with his smile, and Jihoon had a hard time telling if the boy was happy or sad. Maybe both. “I just see it now there’s so much I missed…”

“It was out of your hands.” Jihoon reminded him, and Junhui finally looked away from the screen to look back at him with a small yet grateful smile.

“I know, it just… Hurts a bit.” Junhui admitted, his eyes a bit glossy under the weak light of the red lamp. Jihoon wondered if it had been a bad idea after all, if Junhui was better off not knowing. However the taller seemed to almost read his mind, as he so often did. “This is amazing, Jihoonie. It must’ve been so much work.”

“It’s nothing.” The younger shrugged lightly, looking back at the screen as well. He had some free time between his investigations of all the other shit that had been going on, and he figured he could put it to a good use.

“Can I ask why you did it?” His tone was gentle once again, yet Jihoon still wasn’t sure he could answer that question.

“I don’t know.” Jihoon mumbled, keeping his eyes on the video now. “So much has been going on, you know? After all that happened, I just thought you could use something to cheer you up.” _I did it for you_ , he wished to say instead, but Jihoon had never been one to bear his heart on his sleeve, even when he wished to. “I was tired of seeing you hurt.”

Junhui hummed, the tone low and stable as his arms squeezed around him once more. Yet that wasn’t what succeeded in knocking the air out of the shorter’s lungs and leaving him in utter stupor. No, what managed to steal every remaining words of his lips was what Junhui spoke to him next.

“I love you too, Jihoonie.” He whispered as if they were the easiest words to pronounce, as if he was born to say them. Junhui had no restrains, no qualms in shocking Jihoon to his very bones.

Jihoon had once read that when a person blushed, the redness began on their face and travelled down their body as their embarrassment grew. If that was truly the case, he was sure his toes were scarlet red at the moment.

_I love you too._

_Too_.

That’s what made the hacker swallow around nothing. The fact that Junhui not only told him he loved him, but that just from what Jihoon did for him he assumed the hacker loved him as well. No, he _knew_ the hacker loved him as well. He knew, and he never asked for Jihoon to spell it out, because he could read it in his actions, in his gestures. Because he knew that for some stupid unknown reason Jihoon struggled to share his feelings like a normal person, and he didn’t force him to either. Junhui knew him, and he loved him even so.

“How long is their practice?” Junhui gently snapped him out of his thoughts, sparing him from having to return his words. Once again, the taller was pampering, and he let him.

“Ah, another hour, I think.” The hacker mentally cursed at how detached his voice sounded, trying to pull himself back to the situation and out of his emotional epiphany.

“Is it okay if we watch for a while or is that creepy?” The older asked, and Jihoon found himself nodding before he finished the question.

“You’re his big brother, you have the right to be creepy.” Jihoon managed to flash him a half grin, getting a hint of a laugh in return.

“Thanks, Jihoon-ah.” The Chinese hummed, once again resting his chin on the smaller’s shoulder.

This time, Jihoon rested back against him as well, surrendering to the overload of sensations that surrounded him. He decided to freak out about Junhui’s words later, now opting enjoy the way the other’s chest shook behind him as he laughed at his brother’s antics. Right now, he opted for enjoying the other’s happiness, and his own that stemmed from it.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what to say first, thank you or I'm sorry-  
> I'm going with thanks first so THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!  
> All the nice comments, all the kudos, hits, even bookmarks and subscriptions, thank you so so much.  
> I don't know what I did for this fic to deserve such love but thank you so much.
> 
> As to why it took me ages to post-  
> I definitely didn't intend to take so long to post. I came back from my trip on the 9th and believe me, I had all the intention of sitting down and writing. But then I came down with a fever and I was basically useless for a week.  
> Don't worry, I'm ok and I know those things are out of my control. That's not why I'm apologizing.  
> But I wanted to explain nonetheless why I still took so long.  
> A bit was writer's block, yes, but mainly it was because there's more and more plot coming in, and I have a harder time figuring out what to show and what to omit, how to pace things out, where to place each scene.  
> I've been writing since I my fever went away, but I didn't just wanna put any scene I could write in this chapter. I want to place the right scenes in the right chapters, develop the relationships and problems properly.  
> And that's because you guys have said so many nice things about this fic! There's like 440 kudos, that's crazy. And to know some of you care so much for it, I can't simply just post anything. I need to post something that is worthy of your time.  
> So what I'm trying to say with this essay is that if I take long to post, it's only because I wanna put out the best quality chapter I can write at the moment, because I feel that's the least you deserve.
> 
> BREATHES IN  
> Anyway-
> 
> Thanks again so much for the support!  
> As for the powers au, I have it mostly figured by now, the only thing I'm still deciding on are the pairs lol-
> 
> As always, please let me know if you spot any typos! I always reread before posting, but I always miss something orz
> 
> Also, don't be afraid to let me know what you think! I love reading your comments, really <3
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Btw that comeback that video that choreo and gyuhao getting their instagrams like damN my feels~~
> 
> P.S.: For those who don't know, yes, Hausu is a real movie. Yes, it's hilarious. No, I do not recommend watching it. If you do, do it at your own risk.


	24. When I see you smile, I feel something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I thought you were all good friends. You always argue about such silly things?” The smaller wondered, though he meant no offense by it. It happened a lot. Sometimes he was just a bit too dry for other people’s liking, which was one of the many reasons he wasn’t great at the making friends thing.
> 
> “Well, I mean, that’s what friends do right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHA
> 
>  
> 
> you're welcome

 

_2015_

 

Minghao was a lot of things. Stubborn, blunt, practical, and at the moment, sleepless. The last one, however, was not something he was keen on making a permanent quality of his, even if it was becoming somewhat frequent.

In truth, he had been sleeping just fine five minutes before, until a nightmare woke him up. He couldn’t even recall what is was, probably just one of his many memories that came back to haunt him. The young male seemed to have a collection of those.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep again anytime soon, the Chinese looked around for his fellow countryman. It somewhat of a secret amongst the two, that he would seek out Junhui when he felt cursed by his own past. It started out almost wordlessly, with the older approaching him during one of his insomniac episodes, and it quickly became a habit. He never really asked for Jun not to tell the others, but the older somewhat knew, like he always knew how to help him through said episodes.

Unfortunately though, Minghao couldn’t find the other in his bed. Perhaps he was in the bathroom, he thought to himself, though he also didn’t think it was likely. And even if it was the case, he was not going to check it.

Accepting of the fact that he was probably doomed to staying up for the rest of the night, Minghao figured he’d be better off occupying his mind with something to do in the living room. Swiftly, the boy jumped off his bed, making sure not to wake any of the others up as he walked out of the bedroom.

His throat was parched and the hairs closer to his neck were damp, even though his skin still felt cold to the touch. Minghao didn’t even want to know what he looked like, so he avoided any mirrors as he headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

What he didn’t think he’d need to avoid though was the tall boy standing by the kitchen counter, seemingly reading the nutritional table of a cereal box. And he truly wished to avoid him. Not for any personal reasons, it was simply that Minghao was still fairly new to the group, and he hand’t exactly grown close to most of them. Honestly, part of him doubted he ever would. He’d never been great at making friends, and after years in that institution, he forgot the need to have them in the first place.

Deciding not to greet or avoid him, the Chinese decided instead to simply open the fridge door and get himself a much needed glass of water. Unfortunately, the mere sound of that seemed enough to startle the other boy, who looked almost like a scaredy cat with the way he jumped on the spot and spilled cheerios all over the floor.

“What the—“ The taller gasped, his expression turning from surprised to relieved once he spotted Minghao by the fridge. “Dude, you scared the hell out of me.” His tone lacked accusation though as he kneeled down to start gathering the wasted food.

Minghao raised a brow, wondering how someone who worked in their kind of business could be scared so easily. “Thirsty.” He raised the jar of cold water in a simple explanation before grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

“Huh.” Mingyu hummed, and in return he shook the cereal box in his left hand, making a rattling sound. “Hungry.” He explained himself, though Minghao felt he had no need to.

The shorter simply began quenching his thirst, finding himself momentarily occupied with watching the other gathering the spilled cereal onto a bowl. He raised a judging brow then, still holding the glass up to his lips. “You’re not eating that, are you?”

“What? Oh, no, no.” Mingyu chuckled, quickly shaking his head. “Though technically, it’s been less than five seconds, so I think it’d be fine.”

Minghao’s judging glare stayed in place though as he wondered if the boy was actually serious. “I’ve seen how Hansol cleans that floor, I wouldn’t risk it.”

“I know, I know, I’m just kidding.” Mingyu reassured him with another chuckle, pouring the ruined food into the trash bin. He served himself a fresh bowl while Minghao washed his cup, ignorant to the boy next to him. “You want some?” The taller offered, making Minghao glance his way. The Chinese only shrugged in reply. He wasn’t particularly hungry, but he also wasn’t one to deny food, so he’d leave it to Mingyu to interpret his answer the way he wished. Surprisingly, he took it as a yes and served Minghao a bowl as well.

Minghao left his cup in the drying rack before exchanging the jar of water for the milk carton in the fridge. He placed the carton on the table, where Mingyu also placed his bowl before taking a seat. The Chinese settled for the seat across from him, taking his bowl and pouring in the milk.

“I’m glad you’re a cereal first kind of guy.” Mingyu smiled, placing the carton back on the table before digging into his cereal.

“What?” Minghao frowned, honestly confused by the other’s remark.

“You know, you put your cereal in before the milk.” Mingyu explained, seemingly not bothered with his own chewing.

“Of course I do. Who the hell puts the milk in first?” The Chinese’s frown deepens as he wonders if anyone is actually stupid enough to do that.

“Well, Hoshi-hyung and Channie do that. Though I think Channie only does it because hyung does it.” And yes, Minghao had noticed how the youngest seemed to admire the other thief so much. Still, it was a shame the older was guiding him down such a wrong path.

“That’s ridiculous. What if they pour the milk and there’s not enough cereal for it?” Minghao argued, using gesturing with his spoon.

“That’s what I told them! Plus, the cereal probably gets extra soggy.” Mingyu added, licking his lips after swallowing down another spoonful. “But they say the cereal gets soaked more evenly, and the milk doesn’t splash around when you pour it.”

“It won’t splash if you actually know how to pour it like a normal human being.” Minghao grumbled, surprised at the other’s laugh. He seemed to be easily amused, he noticed, but interestingly enough it didn’t bother him as much as it should.

“Right? I’m glad at least someone’s on my side.” Mingyu grinned, eating more of his midnight snack.

“Your side?” The younger raised a brow. “Is this a discussion that happens often?”

“You’d be surprised.” There was so much honestly and skepticism in the other’s tone, Minghao couldn’t help but snicker.

“I thought you were all good friends. You always argue about such silly things?” The smaller wondered, though he meant no offense by it. It happened a lot. Sometimes he was just a bit too dry for other people’s liking, which was one of the many reasons he wasn’t great at the making friends thing.

“Well, I mean, that’s what friends do right?” Mingyu blinked, not looking offended, simply curious.

“I guess, I wouldn’t know.” The younger shrugged, internally cringing at how depressing that sounded. “Sorry, it wasn’t supposed to be like, emo or some shit. I just don’t have many friends.” Any, he’d say, but he had a feeling that would hurt Junhui too much, and he wasn’t such a cruel person to do that.

The taller hummed instead of showing any pity, which Minghao was grateful for. “Well, we can be friends, right?” Mingyu suggested as if it was the simplest thing, with such innocence in his eyes he almost reminded Minghao of a puppy. “That way you can find out what being friends is like.”

Minghao was honestly surprised by the boy’s offer. He’d never been offered to be friends with anyone before. And that part of him that never bothered to make friends whispered to him that this was a bad idea. That allowing someone so close was a mistake, even if Mingyu had never suggested such a thing in the first place. So instead of accepting or denying his offer, Minghao only shrugged once again, allowing the other to interpret that as he wished.

With the way the other’s canines showed in a bright smile and his eyes squished up, Minghao would guess he took it as a yes.

 

 

——

 

 

“Alright Lee Seokmin, you can do this.” The tall male spoke to his reflection, fixing the collar of the white dress shirt. The suit jacker he had on top was maroon and much too warm for his taste, but at least the AC in the store helped cool him down. “You were born for this, do you hear me? You got this.”

“We all hear you.” Jihoon reminded him through the intercom, successful in creeping the hell out of him and almost making him knock down the standing mirror.

“Hyung, you scared me!” Seokmin whined, trying his best to fix his collar once again. He had to look put together as a proper salesman if he wanted to be convincing.

“Sorry for assuming you’d know how the intercom works after a year.” Jihoon muttered in his grumpy tone.

“Lay off of him, he’s just nervous.” Soonyoung’s voice rang through now like a wave of comfort. “Don’t worry Seokminnie, I do that all the time too!”

“Thanks hyung.” The younger found himself smiling as he nodded to his friends words, mentally preparing himself for the job. “Okay, I’m going in. Or well, out. You get it.”

“Good luck hyung!” Seungkwan’s voice was the boost he needed to open that door out of the staff room and into the store. Seokmin made his way into the large department store, noticing the different brands available, which ranged from more affordable to ‘this bag only costs a kidney and your entire life savings’. Seokmin’s own store, or the one he was supposedly working at, was somewhat in the middle. A family company that tailored suits for all characters. Given their humble origins they weren’t very expensive, but they still had a reputation to their name that allowed them a better clientele.

Of course, the student wasn’t their first option to go under cover. It wasn’t something Seokmin did. He was a med student, he bandaged them up and helped them with chemistry on occasion. Sometimes even helped with plans. He didn’t go undercover, especially given his terrible inability to lie.

However, the occasion called for someone tall, handsome and approachable. And unfortunately, Mingyu, Jeonghan and Junhui were already assigned to other jobs. So after a lot of convincing, and a lot of studying, Seokmin agreed to pose as a salesman to distract clients while the rest of them did their thing.

He had his doubts at first, yes, but if Seokmin had one quality was that he worked his hardest to prepare for everything. Therefore, he studied all he could about suits. Shapes, cuts, styles, fabrics; anything they could name, he knew. He was ready for this.

“Okay, I gotta admit, I’m actually impressed.” It was something incredibly unexpected coming from Minghao, but after twenty minutes of dealing with clients even Seokmin was impressed with himself. “You really know your shit.”

“I told you you’d do great!” Soonyoung piped, and it was hard not to smile once again. Thankfully, he had to look approachable, so if he broke a grin it would likely work on his favor.

“Excuse me, young man.” An older lady who seemed to wear her money called for him as she eyed a sharp cut navy suit.

The tall boy rushed to her side, with a beaming smile and a court nod. “Yes ma’m, how can I help you?”

“Well, I was wondering about this jacket–“

“Oh yes, this fine jacket.” Seokmin boasted. That’s what Jeonghan told him to do, to talk about every item as if it was the most special thing in the store. Stretch one sentence into five and make one conversation last fifteen minutes. “This is of a more sturdy fabric. It’s perhaps not as breathable as the fine cotton to your left, but this is what makes the suit hold it’s remarkable shape–“

“Yes yes, I’m aware of all of that.” The woman waved him off with little patience, and if Seokmin heard a low ‘hag’ in his intercom he chose to ignore it. “What I want to know about is the buttons.”

“…The buttons?” Seokmin parroted.

“Yes. Could you tell me perhaps their material? They seem of good value, though far too extravagant for this piece. They’re ideal for my husband’s evening suits, though.” Seokmin had to replay that in his head, because he never would’ve imagined having this conversation in broad daylight. And also, buttons?

“Well, you see, the stitching on the sleeves is so fine you can barely see it.” The male held out a sleeve to show an example, successfully avoiding the subject.

“Young man, I asked about the buttons.” Alright, so not so successfully.

“Of course, of course.” Seokmin nodded, clearing his throat. “The buttons, stitched so finely onto this navy jacket, that is not made of cotton…“

“Oh god,” Seungkwan’s concern was audible. “He’s freezing up.”

“What?” Wonwoo’s deep voice sounded through.

“It happens whenever he gets asked a question he didn’t prepare for. He just keeps repeating what he knows over and over again, even if it has nothing to do with it.” God, sometimes it creeped him out how much Seungkwan knew about him. Yet unfortunately, he couldn’t be more right.

Buttons. It had never even crossed his mind. Why the hell didn’t he look up buttons? He could talk for hours about stitch patterns, but he was a nervous mess because this woman asked him about buttons.

“Young man, are you disrespecting me?” The younger gulped at the question, shaking his head quickly.

“No, no, of course not! I’m so sorry! The buttons, of course, the buttons—“

“These truly are incredible buttons.” A familiar voice spoke out from behind him, making him turn a bit too fast resulting in an unexpected head rush. One that almost kept him from recognizing Jeonghan stepping up in between him and the inconvenient lady.

“I mean, look at the shine on them. They clearly have platinum in their composition. And that pattern? It’s from Italy, isn’t it?” Jeonghan looked at him for confirmation, while Seokmin was still trying to figure out where the hell he had come from and when did he have time to look up buttons.

“U-Uh, yes, Italy.” Seokmin nodded quickly, trying to see where they were going with this.

“Ah, see? It’s evident from the engraving pattern. Of course, if you look close enough you can see the small imperfections from the handiwork, but the workers are so well trained they are barely evident. Only a keen eye can spot it. I’m sure this gentleman can see it.” The older continued, talking like the button expert Seokmin never knew he was.

“Spot…? Oh, yes yes, of course hyu- I mean, sir.” The younger agreed, though he wasn’t sure what to. Honestly he was surprised he managed to go with the flow at the moment, given how much he was sweating under that suit.

“Aah, yes, I see it too.” The old lady nodded, seeming far less aggressive than before. “I’d love to take a set for my husband.”

“Of course, ma’m!” Seokmin smiled brightly, gently gesturing to the check out balcony. “If you will be so kind to wait over there, I’ll make sure to get everything ready for you.”

Finally, the woman walked away, leaving the two younger ones to take a breath of relief. That had been the most nerve-wrecking moment since taking his college entrance exams, and he could only think of going home and wasting three hours in front of the tv to make up for it.

“Hyung, thank you so much.” Seokmin wanted to give him a good strong hug, but he deemed that probably wasn’t the time. “How did you even know all that? That was amazing!”

“I didn’t.” His face must’ve amused the older, given the light laugh that left his lips. “Seokminnie, if you do things with confidence, you can convince anyone of anything.” Jeonghan advised him with a pat on the shoulder. “Be more confident in yourself, alright? You owe yourself that.”

Seokmin was certain this was just a fancy way of saying you could lie your way out of anything, yet it did sound much better. So much so, the younger decided it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take his advice.

 

 

——

 

_2016_

 

“You’re doing it all wrong!” Minghao complained, standing on his toes to spy over the other’s shoulder.

“It’s not wrong, trust me!” Mingyu hunched his shoulders to try to protect the pot from his friend, stirring the mixture meanwhile.

“You shouldn’t stir it so much!” The shorter one argued. “It’s gonna break all the grains.”

“That’s the point.” Mingyu pointed out, turning to look at his friend while threatening him with the wooden spoon. “I’m the cook. My spoon, my rules.”

“But I’ve been eating congee my whole life and that’s not how you do it!” He grumpily crossed his arms, glaring at his friend.

Mingyu was generally a good cook, Minghao couldn’t argue with that. What he could argue with was how the guy felt he was never wrong. And Minghao did argue with that, constantly. So much so that Seungcheol had to ban the two from using the kitchen at the same time, thanks to a number of complaints from basically everyone else. Unfortunately, no one was there to stop them today.

“Broken grains cook faster and make the congee smoother.” Mingyu explained as if he knew better, turning back to the pot to continue stirring. “And Wonwoo likes smooth congee.” He concluded.

Soon their older friend would be returning to the apartment, and the two decided to be nice for a moment and make something for him. Mingyu was always looking after Wonwoo, that much wasn’t new, but Minghao wanted to help too. Not only because he was determined to show he was more than just the tough guy, but mostly because he worried about Wonwoo as well. And because he was sure Mingyu would find a way to mess it up.

“Well, he likes it wrong.” He grumbled, leaning back against the kitchen counter just to sit on it, not too close to the stove.

“Instead of complaining, you could chop up the garnish.” Mingyu side glanced at him.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the _cook’s_ job.” The shorter smirked smugly, watching as Mingyu gave up with a mumble he couldn’t define.

The older left the pan to grab the scallions and ginger, setting them up on the other side of the counter on top of the chopping board. As he pulled the top drawer open to get a knife, Minghao leaned over towards the stove, stealing the spoon for a moment to taste the food.

“Hey!” Mingyu complained, holding up the knife. Little did he know he looked as threatening as a beagle.

“Calm down.” Minghao licked his lips after tasting the congee, putting the spoon back in. “I’m just making sure it’s not completely ruined.”

“But now your germs are in it!” Mingyu pointed out as he focused back on the task at hand, chopping the greens.

“Says the guys who sneezed on half of Korea already.” The other snickered. “And it’s boiling, you idiot. It’s gonna kill all the germs.”

“It’s boiling, it’s gonna kill all the germs.” Mingyu repeated in a high pitch mocking tone, though Minghao didn’t bother replying to that. He just was thankful the other didn’t ask how the congee tasted, because damn, it did taste good. And Minghao would rather get sneezed on any day than admit Mingyu was right.

As the cook turned off the stove, both the boys could hear voices coming from the living room. Minghao slipped down from the counter, raising his brows as he looked at the kitchen door.

“Hurry up, I want at least five minutes of peace.” They overheard Wonwoo’s low voice. “I don’t think he’ll take five minutes.” He now heard Jun reply, yet he still couldn’t make much sense of the conversation.

“I swear to god we should’ve gotten the penthouse–“ Wonwoo paused as he walked into the kitchen, blinking at the younger too. Now that he finally saw him, Minghao could only stare. He knew Wonwoo had been sick, he knew it wasn’t anything too serious, but seeing how skinny he had gotten in just a day, how much paler he had become… He could feel a weird cold wave rushing under his skin, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

“Hyung!” Mingyu cheered then, taking Minghao out of his thoughts as he rushed by him to hug their older friend. Tackle seemed like a better word, given they almost crashed back onto Jun.

“Yah, careful, he’s sick!” Minghao warned, though Mingyu paid no mind as he tugged Wonwoo into the kitchen.

“It’s fine, I’m feeling much better now.” The older smiled, and it was Minghao’s turn now to welcome him back with a much more reasonable hug.

“We made you congee.” He was surprised Mingyu had included him, though thankful nonetheless. Well, if he hadn’t included him Minghao would’ve kicked his ass.

“Together?” Wonwoo blinked, sitting down by the table. “And you didn’t kill each other?”

“Wasn’t easy.” Minghao mumbled, though Mingyu seemed to hear it as he shoved his shoulder with a glare. Again, as threatening as a beagle. “Where are the guys?” He asked as he sat next to his older friend, trying not to focus on his sunken cheeks.

“Josh is still in his shift, and Seungkwan’s starts soon so he decided to stick around.” Wonwoo replied as they watched Mingyu serve the four bowls Jun had taken from the cupboard, the older putting the garnish on. “Coups got a call from the client, so Jeonghan decided to go with him.” He added.

“Wait, wasn’t Hoshi with you?” Minghao asked, looking around to see if he had missed the older thief.

“He’s on his way.” Jun replied with a grin, bringing the bowls and spoons over before joining them at the table. “Wonwoo shut the elevator door on his face.”

“He had it coming!” The other defended, gesturing with his spoon to make a point. Maybe that’s where Mingyu had gotten it from. “He wouldn’t stop fussing over everything. At least I can relax now.”

“Hyung, it’s fifteen flights of stairs.” Mingyu pointed out, blinking. “Aren’t you overreacting?”

“He’s been with me the entire day! He should know I’m fine by now, he’s the one overreacting.” The boy grumbled before taking a spoonful of his congee, and despite the complaining, it was easy to see the other wasn’t actually annoyed. The two were great friends, they just had an odd way of showing it. Not that Minghao could really point fingers.

“Yah, Jeon Wonwoo!” The four heard the front door slamming, Jun holding in a laugh as Wonwoo’s head dropped in disappointment. Soon enough, Soonyoung was barging into the kitchen, pointing accusingly at the culprit. His hair was damp and sticking to his forehead, and he seemed to not be able to catch a breath. For a thief, he should be in better shape. “You did that on purpose!”

“Fifteen flight of stairs and that’s all you could come up with?” Wonwoo raised a brow, Soonyoung clenching his teeth. “Honestly Soonyoung, I expected more.”

“The outrage, the sass! After all I did for you!” Soonyoung panted, making his way to the table and setting down a paper bag.

“Yah, turn it down a bit? Jihoon-hyung is sleeping and if you wake him up I’m _not_ saving you.” Minghao warned, sliding his congee over to his older friend to see if it calmed him down a bit.

“It’s his fault! He was running from me like I was someone collecting donations on the street.” The older grumbled, though he did lower his tone now. Instead of eating, however, he started pulling the things out from the paper bag.

“What are those?” Mingyu asked in a simple attempt to change the subject.

“Medicine.” Hoshi quickly replied. “You need to take one of these in one hour.” The boy stated as he put the small bottle of pills on the table. “And Seungkwan said you should drink this, cause it’s to keep yourself hydrated.” He instructed as he put down a different bottle, with a orange looking water. “And he also said you should drink this.” He pulled out the last bottle, which looked more opaque. “He said it’s to help bowel movement, and it’ll make your poop more–“

“No, no, nope!” Mingyu fortunately interrupted. “No poop talk on the table!”

“But it’s important! Stop being a prude.” Soonyoung chastised.

“I don’t care, it’s still gross!” While the two continued arguing, Minghao stole a glance at his sick friend. It was odd to see him not jumping in to take a go at Soonyoung, but he saw now it was because he was too busy laughing.

And it wasn’t rare, to see the older laugh, but it was always contagious. Minghao’s shoulders shook as he surrendered to the feeling, letting the other two argue for a little longer. It wouldn’t hurt, right? After all, that’s what friends do.

 

 

——

 

 

“Alright,” Soonyoung clapped lightly, staring at the device in front of him. It was odd, something he’d never seen before, but with parts of other machines he’d definitely meddled with at least once. “How are we gonna do this?”

“What does it look like?” Jihoon asked in the intercom while both thieves examined the apparatus.

“Homemade.” Minghao answered, frowning a bit at the screen. “It’s like a cylinder with a monitor, it’s got a pin keyboard but it’s not connected to anything.”

“Probably a dummy.” Soonyoung added, to which the younger hummed in agreement.

“Is there nothing else? Inputs, outputs? There’s gotta be some way to access it.” Jihoon reasoned as they both continued to look for clues. “I can’t hack into their lock system if you can’t get me in.”

“Yes, we’re aware of that.” Minghao’s voice dripped with annoyance, though thankfully the hacker didn’t seem too bothered. The Chinese was probably one of the few who actually had the guts to give him that sort of attitude.

“There’s outputs!” Soonyoung almost cheered, only stopped by the hacker hushing him.

“Yah, there’s still goons outside! Wanna get yourselves caught?” The shorter reprimanded, and Minghao only gave him a glare that read ‘he’s got a point’. Soonyoung did not appreciate that thought.

“Maybe some of the outputs are fake too?” Minghao suggested. “Maybe we gotta disconnect something that’s fake to find an input.”

“I don’t know, that doesn’t make sense.” Soonyoung shook his head lightly, crouching down to look at the base of the machine. It seemed to be screwed down to the floor, so clearly there wasn’t anything underneath it. “Maybe there’s a secret compartment or something.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.” The Chinese frowned, patting the metal side of the device. “This thing is smooth, and we already tapped for hollow spots.”

“I think we should tap again.” Soonyoung concluded, standing back up with his hands on his waist and earning a groan from his friend.

“Actually, I think you should try the output thing.” Jihoon butted in, quieting both of them down. “You can look for the cable that looks most worn off. Like with the metal peeling or some shit. That’s probably the one they disconnect the most, so…”

Huh, Soonyoung hadn’t thought of that. The older thief nodded to himself, rubbing his hands. “Yeah, that makes sense, we should try that!” He grinned, almost missing the way Minghao’s eyes bore into him.

“…You’re fucking with me.” Minghao blurted out, arms crossed over his chest and his displeasure more than visible in his eyes.

“What?” Soonyoung asked in confusion.

“I just said that!” Minghao’s hands flew up. “Like five seconds ago!”

“Guys, noise.” Jihoon warned, but it didn’t really have much effect against Minghao’s rage.

“Well, but you said it differently.” Soonyoung reasoned, or tried to, because from the way the Chinese’s eyes widened even more he probably just made things worse. “Like it made more sense when Woozi said it—“

“We said the same thing!” Minghao let out. “Like literally, the same thing. But you’re too hard headed—“

“Hey!” Soonyoung complained, though they were both quickly shushed by the sound of footsteps and Jihoon cursing at them in their ears.

“Yah, geniuses, you got caught! There’s four of them coming your way.” The hacker warned, though it seemed less like a warning and more like a narration given said men were already bursting into the room.

Thankfully, they weren’t as fast as the two of them. Before they could draw out their weapons, Minghao already had his nunchucks in hand and somehow going at two of them at a time. Soonyoung didn’t wait either before charging at the bigger one, using him to knock over the one behind him.

“I’m just saying you always do this!” The younger complained as he had the weirder looking guy in a chokehold. “It’s like you don’t even pay attention sometimes.”

“You seriously wanna do this right now?!” Soonyoung complained, struggling to get the guy off his back. Literally.

“If I don’t do it now you forget about it or run away!” The younger emphasized it by throwing his nunchucks at the head of the guy holding Soonyoung down, missing Soonyoung’s own face by an inch.

“…Please tell me that wasn’t an accident.” Soonyoung frowned, quickly and finally knocking the guy down.

“Of course it wasn’t.” Minghao rolled his eyes. “If I wanted to hit you I would’ve done it already. Well, I do want to hit you, but—“

“Can you two just get a grip?!” The leader’s voice blasted through, properly shutting them up yet again. Thankfully, all four guys were now on the floor, properly rendered useless. “The8, don’t hit Hoshi. Hoshi, apologize.”

“Why me?!” The small eyed thief complained.

“Because I said so. Don’t make me come down there.” Soonyoung knew by the other’s voice that they wouldn’t get another warning, so he groaned in surrender.

“I’m sorry.” The older apologized, looking Minghao in the eye. In truth, he did feel sorry. He never meant to ignore his ideas, he just had a bit of a hard time focusing sometimes. Or he simply got so stuck in his own ideas that he muffled out the world around him. “I’ll take your ideas more seriously now. I promise.”

“…Fine.” Even if he didn’t look happy, Soonyoung could see the other’s expression softened, even if just slightly. “You just need to get your head out of your ass sometimes, punk.”

“Hey—“

“Just get to work!” It was Jihoon now who sounded annoyed, and both thieves agreed it was best for their safety if they didn’t anger Jihoon any longer.

 

 

——

 

 

It had been nine days. Nine days of him trying to figure out what he hell was going on inside his head, but getting absolutely nowhere. Nine days of agony, frustration, and overall anxiety. And this was probably his fifth attempt of beating his feelings away that week, with no apparent success either.

Minghao pushed his sweaty hair back with a sigh, putting down his nunchucks to get to the bottle of water that was also sweating a bit in the warmth of the gym. He did manage to forget his feelings while he was training, but they all rushed back in the moment he stopped to catch his breath.

And instead of a clear mind, he was left with aching knuckles and that frustrating sensation of no improvement.

It was when he heard the door open that he grabbed the towel on the bench, throwing it over his head to dry himself up a bit. “You’re a bit late, but we can still go a round if you want.” The Chinese offered, assuming it was Soonyoung at the door.

“Uhm, thanks, but I think I’m gonna pass on that.” He assumed wrong, clearly, as it was definitely Mingyu’s voice that boomed through the open gym.

The younger froze for a moment, thankful the towel hid his face before he threw it over his shoulders. “Sorry, thought you were Hoshi.” The thief clarified with an awkward smile, grabbing his nunchucks to head out the door. “I’ll just go take a shower then.”

“Actually,” Mingyu stepped to the side as he reached the door, efficiently blocking his way. “I was wondering if we could talk?” His voice had an odd tone to it, maybe of nervousness. It reminded him of the first time they met.

“Can it wait?” Minghao asked, though inside he begged. “I really gotta wash off the smell.”

“No, actually, I’d prefer if we didn’t.” Mingyu frowned a bit, though it didn’t last long. “Wait, I mean. Not wash of the stink.” He clarified, though he didn’t have to.

“It’ll take like ten minutes,” It wasn’t a lie, he usually washed fast, unlike some of them.

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna give you a chance to escape.” The frown was back now, and Minghao hope the other couldn’t hear him gulping. “C’mon Hao, I’m not the brightest chip in the bag, but I’m not stupid either. You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Minghao lied, taking a step back defensively, even if his friend showed him no threat.

“Really? ‘Cause this is the longest conversation we’ve had this week.” The taller pointed out with a hint of sarcasm in his tone, something that wasn’t very characteristic of him.

Alright, maybe he did have a point. Maybe Minghao had been looking for ways to not be alone with him, or bailing on their usual plans together. And perhaps he had been spending some extra time in the gym, but that was only because he wanted to train, not because he was purposely trying not to run into him. That was just a fortunate consequence.

Fine, Minghao was avoiding him.

“Look,” Mingyu spoke again, though this time his expression shifted into something softer, more vulnerable. “I’m not trying to look for trouble here, I just wanna know what’s going on. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Except he couldn’t. Well, he could, but it would probably create a chain of effects that he was not ready to deal with. And he had spent the last nine days trying to prepare for it, yet somehow he felt even less prepared.

Because not only had he learned that yes, he liked Mingyu, he also learned that he actually liked Mingyu even more than he thought. He liked how he always managed to cook for everyone, even if not everyone showed up to eat. How positive he was, always trying hard no matter how many times he failed. He even liked the silly stupid shit, like the way his canines looked exceptionally sharp when he smiled, or how he could go from serious to an clueless in a matter of seconds.

Minghao liked Mingyu more than he thought it was possible, and it was overwhelming. So much so, that even the thought of trying to figure out what he wanted from him made him dizzy with anxiety.

“It’s just…” Minghao breathed in, finally looking into the other eyes to get himself some courage. Instead, it only made him more nervous. “It’s nothing, Gyu.”

“Bullshit.” Mingyu almost spat it out, much unlike himself. “You can tell me. Was it something I said?”

Minghao frowned at that, wondering where the boy could’ve gotten that idea. “What?”

“Was it something I said?” Mingyu repeated. “Because I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry if I said or did something that hurt you, I didn’t mean to. I just do shit when I’m drunk and I forget about it, and I’m sorry.”

“You forget about it?” Minghao couldn’t help the hint of annoyance in his voice, because even if he had figured out Mingyu probably didn’t remember that night very well, it still pissed him off a bit that he had been agonizing over it for days while the other couldn’t even remember it.

“It’s not my fault!” Mingyu whined, yet he soon shook his head. “But it doesn’t matter, because I’m sorry, okay? Whatever I did, I’m sorry. You’re my best friend and I don’t want you to hate me–“

“I don’t hate you, Gyu.” Minghao groaned, using the towel on his shoulder to rub his forehead. God, this was turning into a bigger mess than he had imagined. This was why feelings sucked. “And it’s nothing you did.”

“Then why aren’t you talking to me?!” The taller let out, hitting a nerve.

“Because I like you, okay?!” Minghao matched his tone, though he soon shut up.

Fuck.

Oh fucking fuck.

He was not supposed to say that. He was _not_ supposed to say that. Not in all the days he had took to mull over it, had he thought of saying that. Not then, not like that.

“So? I like you too.” Minghao’s eyes widened at the other’s confused answer. “You’re my best friend.”

“ _Oh God_.” The younger groaned, throwing his towel on the floor. Why? Why did he like Mingyu? Why did he ever develop feelings for someone so fucking obtuse? “I mean I _actually_ like you, you idiot. Like, like like you, ugh…” Great, now he sounded like a damn teenager.

“What do you mean?” The question was soft, curious, and Minghao finally gave in, sighing.

“I mean over the course of this frustrating friendship, I think I developed feelings for you.” Minghao admitted, avoiding the other’s eyes now. He was fine with rejection, but if he ever spotted pity on them their friendship would never be the same. “No, I know I have feelings for you, romantic feelings, as gross as that sound.” He snickered quietly. “And I’ve just been freaking the fuck out because you’re my best friend and I don’t wanna mess things up.”

There, he said it. He said it out loud, and he heard it, the universe heard it, and most importantly, Mingyu heard it. Whatever happened next, he’d have no control over it. And curiously, it felt somewhat freeing, like he could actually take a deep breath now. Fucked or not, he had no say in it anymore.

“…Why didn’t you tell me?” Mingyu’s tone was lighter than he expected, though still soft.

“I don’t know. I’m a mess at organizing my feelings and I was scared of pushing away my best friend?” The younger wondered, daring to look up at his friend. Surprisingly, not only there was no pity in his stare, but he was smiling. Bright and warm and a bit innocent even.

“That’s because feelings can’t be organized, idiot.” Mingyu pointed out, clearly taking advantage of the fact that Minghao was too dumbfounded to hit him for calling him an idiot. “And why would it mess things up? Isn’t it better that we’re best friends?”

“What? No—“ The Chinese frowned in confusion. “Aren’t you scared things are gonna change now?”

“A bit, but I’m also excited.” Mingyu admitted with a light chuckle. “I like you a whole fucking lot too, Hao. I kinda don’t mind if things change a bit…”

Minghao’s frown dissolved completely, leaving him with an utterly surprised and once again dumbfounded expression that probably looked hilarious. Thankfully, Mingyu didn’t laugh. “I… What do you mean?”

“I mean I also have feelings for you.” He was the one to clarify now, his grin turning more sheepish by the second. “And I kind of would like to date you, if you want that.”

“I don’t know—“ Minghao blurted out, because suddenly the word dating sounded too real. “I mean, I want to, but… I don’t know what we’d do? I don’t know what people do on dates.” Sure, he knew in theory, but he had never actually dated anyone. It could seem weird for anyone else his age, not that it was, but he was a special case. “Like do we go out? Hold hands? We pretty much spend a shit ton of time together already.”

“Well, we could hold hands.” Mingyu suggested then, not asking before taking the other’s hand in his. He had never noticed how much bigger Mingyu’s hand was. Or maybe it simply felt that way. The shorter gave it a moment, waiting for the butterflies or whatever he was supposed to get from the gesture.

“I don’t get it.” Minghao blurted out, oh so romantically. “My hand is sweaty. Plus it’s just hand holding, what’s so great about it? People make a big fucking deal—“

Mingyu pulled him into a hug then, or forced him into one, wrapping both arms around his frame and holding him against his chest. Unlike him, Mingyu smelled nice. Probably of fresh laundry and whatever he had been making in the kitchen. Without realizing, the younger felt himself relaxing against the other’s chest, resting his forehead against his shoulder.

It was weird, because it wasn’t the first time they had hugged, but it felt different. Mingyu’s chest felt strong against him, but not in a bed way. Like something he could lean on, and it was certainly welcome after a tiring afternoon. His arms were too warm for his still heated body, yet they didn’t feel unwelcome, because they felt somewhat safe. No, ‘weird’ didn’t describe it properly.

“This is stupid.” Minghao mumbled, though he made no move to pull away. Instead, he hesitantly set his hands on the other’s waist, fingers gently gripping the fabric of his shirt.

“If you don’t like it we can stop.” There was a hint of amusement in the taller’s tone, though Minghao decided to ignore it given how comfortable he felt.

“I didn’t say that.” He replied stubbornly, feeling the way the other shook with a chuckle before tightening his hold around him.

Just because something was stupid that didn’t mean he didn’t like it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS/COMMENTS/BOOKMARKS/HITS/EVERYTHING REALLY THANK YOU!!!! ;;
> 
> This is not a personal attack to people who put the milk before the cereal. It's your choice ~~and if you wanna be wrong that's ok no but really I'm jk ok it's fine~~
> 
> Also can you guess which scene I wrote ages ago? (like literally about 15 chapters ago)  
> I have like nothing to offer but if you get it right I'll give you a shout out?? (because that's clearly like an academy award people come on)
> 
> I'm sorry it's been a long day and I'm weird and Minghao released a wonderful track and I just asfkajhfskjhf
> 
> Anyway as always please don't be afraid to tell me if you see any typos!! I always reread before posting but I always forget something!! ><  
> And feel free to let me know what you think of it! I love hearing your opinions and feedback! Not to mention I reread comments like all the time-
> 
> Thank you!!


	25. As you deeply dig into my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And Wonwoo knew he shouldn’t be laughing, he shouldn’t be concerning his friends, but he couldn’t stop. Even when it got better, he was still snorting a bit too himself. “Check out the logo.” He told Mingyu, and as soon as he did, he could spot the realization in the younger’s face.
> 
> “Fuck.” His friend cursed softly, making him snort once again.
> 
> “Fuck, indeed.”

 

 

Today was not his day.

It started in his sleep, or more accurately in his lack of sleep, due to his busted old mattress. Wonwoo had been planning to change it for weeks now, but he always either forgot or was too tired for it. Anyway, the lack of sleep resulted in him waking up with back pain that he couldn’t quickly soothe because they were all out of muscle relaxants. How they ran out of the medicine with three med students and two martial arts experts in the house was beyond him. Thankfully, Jisoo volunteered to get some on his way back from his internship, though that meant he had to spend hours in agony.

And what an agony it was. Wonwoo wanted to work, wanted to help Jihoon with a new lead they got, but the more he worked the less he felt like he advanced. It had already taken hours for him to find a spot where his back wasn’t trying to viciously torture him, and when he did he simply didn’t have the mind to work on simple code breaking. Meanwhile Jihoon had probably hacked into every computer in the country.

Fine, maybe he was being a bit dramatic, but he was obviously not having a great day.

It was much later, after already having taken his pills and overhearing a particularly tiring argument between Seungkwan and Soonyoung, that Seungcheol called a meeting in the living room. Wonwoo was already there and had to begrudgingly sit up on the couch he was previously laying on so he could give the others more space.

“Kids, come, gather around.” The leader called, and willingly or not, they all followed, claiming their spots on the couch, chair, or on the floor around the coffee table. Jihoon quickly hooked up his laptop to the TV, which made Wonwoo feel a bit guilty for leaving him to work on his own while he had been looking for a spot to nap.

“You know, when you talk like that you really sound like a dad.” Seungkwan pointed out.

“I thought we had established that he was the dad of the group?” Seokmin reasoned with his brows raised high.

“Who established that?” Minghao questioned as he squeezed between him and Mingyu.

“Hoshi-hyung, Seungkwannie and I.” Seokmin answered with a blink, which explained a lot, really.

“Since when do you three decide anything?” Hansol snickered, quickly shielding himself from an incoming slap by Seungkwan.

“I don’t know, for me he’s more like an older brother.” Chan hummed thoughtfully, and Wonwoo wondered if spending so much time with Soonyoung was doing him some harm.

“He _is_ your older brother.” Jihoon pointed out with a frown.

“I don’t care, as long as we don’t have to call him daddy.” Mingyu shrugged.

“Who are you to kink shame?” Soonyoung scoffed dramatically, and if Wonwoo could roll his eyes into oblivion, he would have. “There’s no judging friends in this house.”

“I’m judging all of you right now.” Wonwoo muttered, though he wasn’t sure if Soonyoung didn’t hear him or simply ignored him.

“And technically this is an apartment.” Junhui provided not so helpfully.

“Can we focus?” Seungcheol asked with a groan, pinching the bridge of his nose. If Wonwoo wasn’t so bitter about how his own day was going, he’d pity the older.

“Yes, please.” The shorter hacker helped him steer the conversation in the right direction, opening the files he had gathered during the afternoon. They were bank extracts, though from no actual bank. Just a series of documents with no proper identification that reported money transfers.

“We were able to retrieve some old information on the group that scammed Hansol.” Wonwoo thought Jihoon was being generous in including him on that, given the younger had done most, if not all of the job. “I think they’ve changed names, which isn’t surprising, but we were able to find the group they were doing business with that day we found Hansolie.”

“And?” Jisoo asked, though they all seemed impressed by the feat. Honestly, so was Wonwoo.

“It was hard, because after that they had to stop for a while. But about half an year later they started again as a ‘virtual security company’ under the name SIDEM.” The hacker continued, pulling up more files on said company.

“Wait, how did you even know it’s them?” Jeonghan wondered, because yes, that seemed quite a feat even for Jihoon.

“Cheol said we could ask for some help, so I got in touch with the East guys.” Jihoon shrugged.

“I thought they were all working undercover now.” Jisoo pointed out, and he was right. At least, from what Wonwoo remembered, they were all trying to break some sort of factory from within.

“Almost all of them, Aron’s still around to keep an eye from outside.” The younger explained, and it made sense. Given how secretive they had to be about the whole thing, it wasn’t surprising none of them knew of it until now.

“So he helped?” Seungcheol prompted, getting a nod in reply.

“He managed to contact some people and found that out. He knows we’re laying low though, so we’re good.” And perhaps that would be worrying when talking about anyone else, but they knew they could trust Aron.

“So, that SIDEM is what’s after us?” Soonyoung wondered.

“Everything points to it, and check this out.” Jihoon brought out even more financial documents along the year of 2015 and 2016, which showed quite a stable but low credit until it hit a certain high in the beginning of the second year.

“What’s that?” Wonwoo squinted a bit, pointing at the high point in the chart. “How did they make so much money then?”

“That’s what I asked myself.” Jihoon agreed, pulling up another document. “Apparently, they were a pretty small company then, probably doing shady shit still. But out of nowhere they got big, so I tried looking into it, and apparently they got bought.”

“Who would buy a shitty shady security company?” Minghao frowned, trying to follow their line of thought. Wonwoo was already ahead though, only because he was used to seeing these things.

“A ghost company.” The older answered, getting a nod from Jihoon. “It wasn’t a purchase, it was an investment, right?”

“Exactly. So I decided to trace it back to who it belongs to,” He then pulled up another file on the screen, money transfers that fit the high point on the financial chart they saw before. And right at the bottom, the name of the company in blue under the minimalist artwork of a flower.

Of course.

“Of fucking course.” Wonwoo blurted out, and they all stared at him in silence before the male suddenly laughed. He laughed, maybe a bit dry and a bit too loud, because yes, it was funny. It was fucking hilarious. The universe had decided, out of all moving things that it could bother, that today it would fuck with Jeon Wonwoo. And oh, did it do an amazing job.

“Hyung…?” Mingyu called gently, leaning forward a bit to look at his friend in concern.

And Wonwoo knew he shouldn’t be laughing, he shouldn’t be concerning his friends, but he couldn’t stop. Even when it got better, he was still snorting a bit too himself. “Check out the logo.” He told Mingyu, and as soon as he did, he could spot the realization in the younger’s face.

“Fuck.” His friend cursed softly, making him snort once again.

“Fuck, indeed.” Wonwoo agreed, his humor turning more bitter now.

“What? What is it?” It was Soonyoung’s turn to worry, though his stare was imprinted on all their faces. All except one.

“You knew?” Wonwoo wondered, though he tried to convey through his tone that he wasn’t accusing him.

“I had my suspicions, but I wasn’t sure.” Jihoon admitted, lowering his head.

“Knew what? What is going on?” Minghao’s impatience was showing now, and only then did Wonwoo realize that they still didn’t know.

“It’s my parents.” Wonwoo ansered bluntly, gesturing vaguely towards the screen. “The company, Blue Lotus, it’s my parents’. It’s our family… Their, family crest.”

It was somewhat cute — no, kind — the soft gasps of surprise and concern he could hear. It didn’t do much to soothe the sting, though.

“Are you sure?” Chan asked innocently, and that sure was cute.

“Been looking at it my whole childhood, I’m pretty sure.” Wonwoo shrugged.

“Alright, okay,” Seungcheol reaffirmed himself more than necessary, like he often did when he was given a bit too much information. “So we gotta rethink this.”

“What do you mean?” Wonwoo frowned. “It’s simple, no? We go after Blue Lotus for information.”

“Well, yes, but it’s not that simple.” Seungcheol reasoned.

“Why not?” Wonwoo insisted, because why should plans change if it’s still the same situation?

“Because they’re your parents.” Jeonghan’s voice carried the same level of kindness as it did of seriousness, and Wonwoo would never find out how he managed that.

“So? It’s still the only lead we got. Plus, the fact that I’m fucking related to them will probably make things easier.” The hacker knew his tone was a bit heavier than he intended, but he was really not having a good day.

“Hyung…” Mingyu called again in that tone that was supposed to make him take a deep breath and think things over.

“No, Gyu, this is why I cut them off.” Wonwoo frowned now, though he did take a deep breath as he rubbed his forehead. “Why are you all making such a big deal? We find out who could know more about the guys that are fucking chasing us, and you don’t wanna go after them? If I say it’s fine, and it’s fine. I don’t care who they are.”

“We don’t want you to get hurt.” Seungcheol’s voice was firm, probably trying to knock some sense into him, but Wonwoo felt he already had all the sense he needed.

“I said it’s fine.” The younger repeated, pushing himself up slowly. “What do we need, a plan to break into the company and get information?” He eyed Soonyoung and Seokmin, who were staring at him in confusion.

“I-I guess,” Seokmin stammered. “But–“

“Then we should get working on that.” Wonwoo decided, looking at the other hacker now. “Do you have more info?”

Jihoon looked almost annoyed, or maybe concerned, the expressions weren’t that different. He still shook his head though, confirming Wonwoo’s thoughts. “No, that’s all I got so far.”

“Great.” Wonwoo sighed, relieved that at least that mess was over. “I’m gonna head over to bed then, I’ll work on getting more information tomorrow.” He decided, waving them goodnight before giving them the time to say another word.

He knew he was being rude, and maybe a bit unkind, and he was probably going to regret that later. And perhaps he was a bit petty in claiming Junhui’s bed for the night because his friend’s mattress was much better conserved, but right now he didn’t care. He didn’t wanna give the universe any more chance of fucking up his day.

 

 

——

 

 

The apartment was still quiet after the previous meeting, even if it was already the afternoon of the next day. It was a bit unsettling, but it didn’t bother Jeonghan too much. At least he expected the silence after what happened. None of them wanted to push Wonwoo into talking, and they didn’t want to talk behind his back either, yet the subject was still floating in the air in bold letters and a bright highlighter green.

Thankfully, it was much easier to ignore it when one was spending time with Seokmin. Even his quiet self was much more cheerful than anyone else, and it was hard to keep a heavy heart when he flashed one of his bright grins at every five minutes.

The two were sitting sideways on the couch, with a checkers board in between them. Chan was sitting on the floor, facing said couch, supposedly as a referee to keep Jeonghan from cheating, as if that’d ever work. Actually, Jeonghan wasn’t even in the mood for the game, but the downside of Seokmin’s lovable personality was that it was also practically impossible to say no to. So if he wanted to play checkers, they’d play checkers.

That was, at least, until something else got their attention.

“ _Oh my god!_ ” Seungkwan’s voice was recognizable even three pitches higher than usual. With that, both Seokmin and Chan turned their heads to the sound that came from the hallway, which allowed Jeonghan to slip one of his own pieces back onto the board. What? He knew better than to pay attention to Seungkwan’s every overreaction. He once reacted the exact same way because someone had eaten their last cookie.

However, Jeonghan did look up when the boy came rushing into the living room, followed by a furious yet red cheeked Minghao and an equally flustered Mingyu. “Don’t you dare!” Mingyu threatened while the Chinese was taking a hold of the younger, roughly trying to cover his mouth.

“Let me go! You can’t expect me not to tell!” Seungkwan complained loudly, helplessly trying to escape the other’s grip.

“Boo Seungkwan, if you tell them I’m shoving my nunchucks up your—!”

“Okay, okay!” Jeonghan raised his voice to be heard amongst the shrieking, quickly raising to his feet and rushing over to put himself between them. Usually this would be Seungcheol’s job, but he wasn’t around at the moment and as a mother, Jeonghan had the responsibility of keeping his children from shoving large objects in each other’s inappropriate places.

He was pretty sure that was what a mother did, anyway.

“What is going on here?” Jeonghan pulled Seungkwan from Minghao’s grasp, mentally thanking Mingyu for holding the boy back.

“Seungkwan saw something he wasn’t supposed to see,” Minghao practically spat, while Seungkwan kept an equally threatening expression even though he was practically hiding behind Jeonghan now. “And now he wants to spill.”

“It’s your fault for keeping the door wide open!” Seungkwan claimed, hands grabbing onto Jeonghan’s shoulders from behind and practically pulling him down.

“It’s my room!” Minghao pointed out then, voice still unusually loud for him. Though the older knew Minghao could get particularly loud when he was angry.

“That you share with five other people!” Seungkwan replied.

“Who none of which are you!” Minghao concluded then, fighting against Mingyu’s hold and practically climbing over Jeonghan to get to the younger, who in return let out a loud shriek.

“Alright, calm down!” Jeonghan raised his arms before putting a hand on each of their chests, trying to muster his most reprimanding tone. And apparently he did it, given both of them finally managed to shut up.

Seungcheol definitely owed him one.

Sighing thankfully for the silence, Jeonghan took the few seconds to calm himself down as well and try to figure this out. “Kwannie, you shouldn’t have spied on them.” He begun, quickly shutting the younger up with a knowing glare when he tried to open his mouth. “And Hao, we don’t threaten to harm our friends with our toys.” He continued, now eyeing the Chinese.

“It’s not a toy…” The other mumbled, though thankfully he didn’t try to argue further.

“Now, what is this all about?” Jeonghan asked, now crossing his arms. “Did Seungkwan see something bad? Is that why you’re upset?”

“No, it’s not bad!” Seungkwan was the one to answer, now with a pitiful pout. “That’s why I wanted to tell! It’s actually kinda nice.”

“ _Seungkwan_.” Minghao glared at the younger, yet he somehow managed not to pounce at him again. Maybe they were making some advancement.

“Maybe he’s got a point, Hao.” Mingyu’s voice was gentle, and so were his eyes. He finally pulled his arms back from around the other’s waist, allowing him to half turn to stare at him.

“But we agreed not to tell.” The Chinese insisted, red dusting his cheeks once again.

Jeonghan raised a brow, wondering what sort of secret the two could be keeping. Not that they weren’t allowed to have secrets, it was just that Jeonghan prided himself in being the one who knew everything that happened in their home.

“I know, but they’re gonna find out eventually, right?” Mingyu raised his brows as he made his point, and Minghao’s shoulders slumped in defeat.

“I guess…” The Chinese agreed.

“Find out what?” Jeonghan was the one to frown now, tired of being kept in the dark.

“Mingyu and Minghao kissed!” Seungkwan blurted out.

“Seungkwan!” Both the accused shouted in unison, and once again Jeonghan had to step in to keep Minghao’s hands from reaching Seungkwan’s neck.

…Wait.

“You kissed?” The oldest felt his brows contorting, confused, partially enlightened, and also kind of amused at the same time. “Is that true?”

Minghao retreated once again, the shyness now as clear as day in the way his eyes shifted to the floor. Mingyu wasn’t much different, though he aimed his stare at the turned off TV and picked at the side of his neck nervously. After a moment though, they both nodded.

“But… Why?” Chan was so oblivious it was almost amusing, especially with that frown stamped on his face.

“Because they like each other.” Jeonghan felt himself smiling softly, holding back a laugh when seeing both Mingyu and Minghao staring at him wide-eyed. “What? You do, don’t you?”

“How did you—?” Mingyu stopped himself from finishing the question, perfectly reading Jeonghan’s look of ‘because I know everything in this apartment’. “I mean, yeah… We kinda, yeah.” He nodded once again, while Minghao kept looking everywhere but at them.

“Aaawwwnn!” Seokmin cooed, the smile on his lips so bright it was almost blinding. “That’s adorable! Does that mean you’re together? Can I be your godfather?”

“Hyung, godfather is for children.” Seungkwan pointed out, though they doubted that would stop him.

“We’re not, I mean, we are, but it’s not…” Mingyu tried to explain, his lips pursing in the same way they did when he tried to understand the plot of any movie that contained time travel.

“We’re not sure how to do things.” Minghao finally addressed them, looking up and Jeonghan despite his embarrassment. The older could see there was something more in his eyes, something decisive, and it brought a sort of warmth in his chest. “We’re just… trying as we go? We’re still best friends, we just do things that, you know, dating people do…” And his eyes were back on the floor, and Jeonghan had to resist every urge not to coo and hug the cuteness out of him.

“Like kissing and cuddling and—“ Seungkwan listed, moved by his friend’s feelings.

“I swear to god, I’ll get my nunchucks.” The thief’s eyes were once again sharp and aimed at Seungkwan, efficiently shutting him up.

“But didn’t you hate each other?” Chan’s innocent tone spoke through again, and this time Jeonghan couldn’t help but laugh.

“ _Chan!_ ” Seungkwan whaled. “Don’t you have one ounce of romance in you?”

“Yesterday they were fighting about lunch!” The youngest defended, still blind to the minutia of love.

Jeonghan chuckled, making his way back to the couch and ruffling the boy’s hair once he sat down. “It’s a thin line between love and hate, Channie.”

Minghao groaned at that, though at least Mingyu seemed somewhat amused by the grin tugging on his lips. “Can we not?”

“I am resisting every urge not to shower you with affection and embarrassing moments right now because I’ve been rooting for you guys for ages, so at least allow me that.” Jeonghan claimed, and he took the blush on their cheeks as a reward. “Plus, you guys don’t have to worry. If you want, we can tell the others. If not, we’ll just keep it between us.” Jeonghan offered, because he wasn’t _that_ evil.

“No, it’s okay.” Minghao shrugged, brushing his dark hair back.

“Yeah, Wonwoo-hyung and Jun-hyung already know anyways, too.” Mingyu added, and honestly Jeonghan didn’t expect any less.

“Fair enough. Now you can go back to smooching.” Jeonghan waved them off, smirking at both of their annoyed faces.

“I’m gonna go train.” Minghao decided instead, probably too embarrassed to be seen in the same place as Mingyu for the moment.

“I need to find Shua-hyung.” The taller announced.

“Public library.” Jeonghan provided, watching the two grab their jackets before making their way out the door. Sure, he wanted to annoy them with questions and find out exactly how everything happened, but like said, Jeonghan wasn’t that evil. At the end of the day, he was just happy those two were finally together.

Also, he could always go to Jun or Wonwoo.

“It’s your turn, hyung.” The oldest blinked out of his stupor, having completely forgotten about the game after what happened. Staring back at the board, it didn’t take him long before noticing something was wrong, his lips quickly quirking up into a smirk.

“Adding pieces is cheating, Channie.” Jeonghan tutted, swiftly taking back the pieces the boy had added while he wasn’t looking. He would be mad if he wasn’t actually proud that his youngest child was finally following in his steps.

“How did you know it was me?!” Chan whined, looking between him and the board.

It was obvious. Seokmin had been as distracted as him with the new couple, and on top of that the boy couldn’t cheat even if he had too. That only left the youngest, who of course would do something like that even when it wasn’t his own game, only to try and give Jeonghan a taste of his own medicine.

“Because I know everything that happens in this apartment.”

 

 

——

 

 

“We’re not doing this.” Seungkwan blurted out, visibly more shocked than the rest of them. Only visibly though, because Seungcheol was sure none of them were taking this kindly. “You’re not seriously letting him do this, right?”

“You try convincing him otherwise.” The leader argued, uncrossing his arms as he gestured to Wonwoo. He had spent the last fifteen minuted trying to explain what a crazy idea it was to let the hacker into his own parent’s gathering to interrogate them on their financial choices, so to speak. But the more they talked, the more Wonwoo reasoned it wasn’t that bad of an idea in the first place. That was the thing about arguing wit a smart guy. Wonwoo had logic on his side, Seungcheol only had good sense.

“Look, I’m the best choice, whether you like it or not.” Wonwoo insisted, in a much calmer yet cooler tone than the one he had the day Jihoon announced his discovery. “My parents throw these social gatherings basically every season, and they know I know. I can use it an excuse to get closer to them.”

“And they won’t suspect you suddenly wanting to reconnect?” Jihoon raised an accusing brow, nit picking at everything in his plan to try to unweave it, unfortunately without much success.

“No more than they’ll suspect a complete stranger trying to know more about their business.” Wonwoo rebutted from where he sat by the kitchen table. “I won’t go the sentimental road, they know me better than that. But I also know they’re too thirsty for the idea of me working with them to deny me a conversation.”

“What if those SIDEM guys are there and recognize you? We don’t know how much they know about us.” Minghao reasoned now, and that was a good point.

“If they recognize me, they’ll recognize any of us. I’ll at least have the protection of being in my own home.” And another good point. Damn it.

“And if they don’t give you any information?” Jeonghan was the one to argue now, trying to sound as calculated as their friend. “You’re going there assuming they’ll have an open talk, but what if they don’t even bother? They might not give you anything useful.” It was kind of a low blow, but Seungcheol knew Jeonghan was trying to do anything but hurt their friend. He just wasn’t afraid to take the rough path sometimes. And if he did, it was because knew Wonwoo could handle it.

“They will if I threaten to bring them in.” Wonwoo’s voice was low, yet it still brought a hush upon them. Seeing the questions in their eyes but not hearing them, the hacker decided to explain. “We’ve got their data, the loan company that connects with their main one. Even if we can’t use the ones we’ve found, I still have their spreadsheets from years ago, from when I first found out.”

“So what? You wanna bring them to the police?” Minghao frowned now, confused by his idea. “No offense, but we’re not exactly in the position to walk into a police station and start pointing fingers.”

“We’ve got a connection in the force, no?” Wonwoo asked the leader, to which unfortunately he had to nod.

“Nayoung.” Seungcheol mumbled, crossing his arms once again. “Though she’s still mad about the last stunt we pulled.” And a mad Nayoung is something he did not want to deal with.

“Regardless, I can simply threaten to release those to the press. No doubt their stocks will drop just from the bad publicity.” The other insisted, causing Seungcheol to pinch the bridge of his nose. He didn’t know if this actually made sense or if he was simply starting to go crazy by now.

“But what about you, hyung?” Seungkwan wondered, his brows pulled together in a sympathetic frown. “I know you cut them off and all, but they’re your parents. Isn’t this too much for you?”

It shouldn’t surprise Seungcheol that while all of them were freaking out that Wonwoo could be walking into a trap, Seungkwan was worried about how he was feeling. Yet it still gave him a burst of affection to see the amount of emotional awareness the younger had for them.

“It’s not my fault what they did was wrong.” The hacker shrugged, trying to hide the tension in his shoulders. Seungcheol still saw it, though. “I’ll just be doing what’s right. Took me long enough anyway.”

The leader took another deep breath to try to recollect his thoughts, closing his eyes for a moment. Wonwoo didn’t go against him often. He was an easy person to please overall, definitely not even half as stubborn as Jihoon, for example. But when he set his mind on something, there was no way of changing it. And clearly, his mind was set on this.

“Fine.” Seungcheol sighed, opening his eyes again to aim them at the hacker.

“Wait, what? You’re agreeing to this?” Soonyoung was the one to burst out now, baffled by his decision.

“He’s clearly not changing his mind, and it does sound like the best choice, even if I still disagree.” Seungcheol explained, as contradicting as he sounded.

“If Wonwoo’s going then I wanna go in with him.” Seungcheol groaned at Junhui’s announcement. He was not in the mood for this.

“You’re not going in with him.” The leader decided right away. “You’re not even back to training yet, you’re not ready for another mission.”

“I’m all better, it’s been months!” The Chinese insisted.

“It’s been _weeks_.” Jihoon corrected, because two months barely classified as ‘months’.

“Even so, I’m all better. Jisoo-hyung said I only needed six weeks to recover.” Junhui argued, gesturing wildly as if to show he was all better.

“That was for your ribs, Junnie.” Jisoo explained with all the patience in the world, bless his soul. “Your muscles still need to recover, your whole body needs to heal from the trauma. Not to mention all this time with no training weakened them. You shouldn’t be going in. Even if you’re better, you could make yourself worse.”

“But–“

“I’ve already spent 20 minutes trying to talk Wonwoo out of this, I’m not putting this up for discussion. You’re not going.” Seungcheol put his foot down, metaphorically speaking.

Junhui was clearly not satisfied, with the way he crossed his arms like a stubborn child. “Fine. But let me at least get in the get away car.” He insisted, to which Seungcheol gave in.

“Fine, as long as someone’s with you.” The leader decided.

“I can go with Wonwoo.” Mingyu was the one to offer now, and though he didn’t sound cheerful, he did sound less stressed than the rest of them. “They know me. And if those guys are there, they probably already know me too.”

“They’ll know something’s up.” Hansol suggested, to which Mingyu shrugged.

“They’ll probably already know, anyway. It’s easier explaining us two being there than any of you.” The younger pointed out, and Seungcheol couldn’t argue with that. Or at least he didn’t have the energy anymore. “My family attends their gatherings ever so often, I can just say I’m there representing them. It’ll make even more sense if I go in with Wonwoo, his parents know we’re friends.”

“Alright.” The leader conceeded much more easily. “It’s better to go in together than alone, anyway. At least you’ll have eyes on each other.” He was thankful no one else seemed to want to argue with him, and so he gripped the back of the chair in front of him, where Jeonghan sat. “That’s all settled now. Wonwoo and Mingyu are going in as guests, Jihoon can put them on the list. Meanwhile, we get the files ready to release them to the press or the police if necessary. The rest of us can stay close for backup, I’ll give out the positions later.”

They all either hummed or nodded in agreement, some more reluctant than others. Seungcheol couldn’t blame them, he wasn’t exactly eager for this job either. It was the first once since the Casino, and an extremely personal one as well. They were being as careful and thorough as possible, yet it still didn’t feel like enough. Still, at some point, he had to put down the hammer.

Soonyoung and Jihoon were right. They made it personal, and there was no going back now.

 

 

——

 

 

“I don’t like this.” Jeonghan announced as Seungcheol joined them in the second largest bedroom. Jisoo was already there as well, sitting sideways on Seungcheol’s bed with his back against the wall and his thighs serving as foot rest for Jeonghan. The second oldest was lying along the mattress, knees bent and back propped up against at least three pillows.

“You’ve said that already.” Jisoo could hear the exhaustion in the leader’s voice, moving his eyes up from his book to watch him plop down on the bed next to theirs. Jeonghan’s bed.

“Because I still don’t like it.” The blonde insisted, though he didn’t sound as stubborn as he could, only upset. “Shua doesn’t like it either.”

Jisoo pinched the other’s ankle lightly in reprimand, the boy mouthing a small “sorry” in return. He knew how much he hated when people put words in his mouth. Even if he had said something very similar only moments ago.

“I know, and I don’t like it either.” Seungcheol pointed out, running his fingers through his dark locks. “But I can’t stop him from doing it, Han.”

“You totally can! You’re the leader.” The other argued much like a child, with no true accusation in his voice. It was so innocent, Jisoo couldn’t help but smile to himself a bit.

“You know that’s not how it works.” The eldest reminded him with a small snicker.

“Well, it should.” Jeonghan mumbled stubbornly, sighing once his eyes fell back onto his hands.

“You’re the ones who keep telling me I need to learn how to trust them more, I’m trying to do the right thing here.” The leader confessed, and Jisoo knew Jeonghan could also see how much he had struggled to do so.

“And you _are_ doing the right thing.” Joshua agreed, gently running his thumb over the patch of skin on Jeonghan’s ankles where his pants didn’t reach. Seungcheol mumbled a small “Thanks” in return, to which Jisoo simply nodded in return.

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” Jeonghan complained, nudging Jisoo’s thigh with the ball of his foot.

“I’m not taking any sides, I’m not stupid.” The doctor snickered in return, pulling Jeonghan’s feet back in place.

“Hannie, I know you’re worried, but we gotta trust him.” Even in his tired state, Seungcheol’s voice was still kind. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m the one saying it for once.” The leader blinked in surprise, perfectly ruining whatever wise moment he was having.

“I do trust him.” Jeonghan argued, pulling his feet back now so he could sit up and cross his legs. “But this isn’t about the possibility of him getting hurt. He _is_ gonna get hurt. They’re his parents, Cheol. We’re asking him to go against his own parents.”

“We’re not asking, he’s asking, Hannie.” Jisoo reminded him, pulling his own feet up on the bed as well, finding himself suddenly missing the contact. “Cheol tried to stop him too. At the end of the day, we can’t order him around. If he wants to do this, then he should do it.”

“But he’s gonna get hurt!” Jeonghan insisted.

“But maybe he needs to do it.” The leader tried another approach. “Maybe he needs to go against them to feel better, Han.” He suggested.

“Who would feel better going against their own parents? As terrible as they might be.” Jeonghan reasoned instead, brows furrowing in both hurt and confusion.

“Well, not everybody feels the same way about those things, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol’s voice was still gentle, still patient, but Jisoo knew his words had hit the other harder than they were intended.

That was the thing about Jeonghan. Words were his thing. He could twist them, work them, make them do things Joshua had never seen done before. But it worked both ways. He over analyzed every sentence, every article and verb. He dissected their words without even noticing, seeking for any sort of hidden meaning, sometimes finding things that weren’t even there.

“What are you trying to say, Seungcheol?” The second oldest asked instead, his eyes growing sharper than before.

“ _Han_.” Jisoo reprimanded, trying to keep him from getting too carried away by his feelings, from taking things in a way they weren’t meant.

“I’m not trying to say anything, Han. Don’t make this about yourself.” Seungcheol frowned in return, his patience quickly running low now.

“ _Cheol_.” Jisoo called now instead, frowning. Great, this was just what Jisoo needed. An easily offended Jeonghan and a prone to anger bursts Seungcheol.

“Then don’t make this about me, Seungcheol.” Jisoo could see Jeonghan almost pursing his lips in distaste, and he knew he had to nip it in the bud. He was not in the mood to play the cop, but the last thing they needed now was a stupid spat.

“Stop it, both of you.” Joshua raised his voice a bit, but kept his tone soft and decisive. “This isn’t about any of us, so don’t read into things and don’t overreact.” He warned, staring both of them down, who thankfully didn’t argue back. “We clearly have things to talk about, but this isn’t the time.”

“He’s right.” Seungcheol spoke with a sigh, nodding gently.

“As always.” Jeonghan mumbled, but he still sent a soft smile his way, letting him know it was nothing but gentle teasing.

“You said it, not me.” The youngest hummed with a smile, reaching over to pat Jeonghan’s knee before pushing himself up. “Come on, we all need some rest. Gonna be a long week.” Seungcheol agreed with another nod, gently taking Jisoo’s hand when he passed by him only to squeeze it before letting him go.

Soon Jihoon and Mingyu would be coming in wanting their beds, and Jisoo knew better than to stick around for the teasing. Yet even with the resolution, a bitter taste took over in the back of his throat as he made his way to his own shared room. It just felt like too much was open, yet still hidden. The more they knew, the less they understood, in every aspect of their lives. Jisoo felt as if he was walking on eggshells, trying not to hurt his feet while also not breaking the shells, and failing miserably at both.

 

 

——

 

 

Alright, now that they were actually doing this Wonwoo admitted that perhaps it hadn’t been the best idea. There he stood, in one of the hallways of his own home, where barely anything had change and yet nothing felt the same. The hand on his shoulder helped grounding him a bit, as he looked over to see Mingyu’s warm smile that never failed to bring him some sort of comfort. Still, it’d take a lot more than comfort for him to open the door in front of him, knowing his parents waited on the other side.

It’s not that he was nervous, at least not in the conventional way. His hands weren’t sweaty, his heart wasn’t racing, nor there was any odd buzzing in his ears. The fear was in the fact that he did not know what to expect. He hadn’t seen his parents in years, he had no idea how he’d react to seeing them. Would he get angry? Upset? Would he forget why he was there in the first place?

Taking a deep breath, he tried to push all his anxieties away. Mingyu let him go once he gave the younger a small nod, allowing him to finally open the large engraved doors and step into the room. The sound of small talks and popping champagnes on the lower level was muffled as soon as he closed the doors behind himself, finally spotting his mother in a long burgundy gown with a white scarf over her shoulders.

“Father not joining us?” Wonwoo dared to ask, though it didn’t matter. He knew that both in the business and at home, his mother called the shots.

“Someone has to stay and entertain the guests. It’d be rude to absent one’s self from their own party.” Her voice was still as smooth and as cold as he remembered, every word pronounced perfectly as if she was royalty.

“Didn’t stop you.” The boy pointed out, slipping his hands into the pockets of his dark grey suit. He resisted the urge to fiddle with the loose thread in the right pocket, not wanting to show any type of nervous tell in front of her.

“I can make an exception for my only child.” The woman finally turned towards him, with perfectly drawn makeup and eyes he never learned to read. “Even if he refuses to be seen as such anymore.”

Wonwoo stopped himself from nipping at his bottom lip, keeping his eyes sharp and fixed on the woman before him. He felt extremely self aware, afraid that any action, any quiver of his lip or crack in his voice would open a gash where she could simply claw through.

_This_ , this he remembered very well. The way he always felt like he had to put on a mask, an armor around them. Shielding himself from them and the other way around as well. An armor he hadn’t worn in a long time.

“I didn’t come here for sentimentalism.” Wonwoo announced, standing still not too far from the door he had walked in from. His mother circled the wooden desk in the middle of the room, though she made no attempt to close the distance between them either.

“Of course not, what else could I expect?” Her smile was beautiful, yet anything but gentle. “The son I haven’t seen in nearly four years returns and won’t even hug his own mother.”

“As I recall, you were never a fan of hugging in the first place.” Wonwoo smirked back, getting a chuckle in return.

“I suppose so. It’s good to see at least you inherited something from me.” It hardly felt like a compliment, though her words were always like that, laced with second intentions.

“If she wasn’t your mother I’d be kicking her ass right now.” If it weren’t for Minghao’s comment Wonwoo would’ve completely forgotten he still had his ear piece on. They weren’t sure at first if he should walk in with it or not, but they all decided it was best to listen in in case anything happened, or if they needed to check any information. Wonwoo himself thought it would be a nuisance, but now it felt almost comforting. It was good to hear another voice besides his consience reminding him how crazy his parents were.

“Thankfully, it wasn’t your kindness.” Wonwoo remarked, tilting his head to the side from the small boost of confidence his friend gave him. “Though, you have been giving out a lot of money lately, so I suppose your heart might’ve grown a couple of sizes.”

That seemed to struck a nerve from the way her frown tightened slightly. “You know I do not care for games, Wonwoo.” The woman sighed dramatically. “Just get on with what you came for. What is it that you want? Money?”

Wonwoo couldn’t help gritting his teeth at that, but he still managed to keep his pose, if that made any difference. “Information.” The boy corrected, seeming to get more of her attention. “There’s certain people you do… business, with, that I’d like to know better.”

“What business? You know all of our contracts are transparent, Wonwoo.” The woman shrugged gently before fixing the silk around her shoulders.

“Of Jeon Enterprise, maybe. But what about Blue Lotus?” His mother didn’t flinch, she never flinched, but Wonwoo could spot the threat in her eyes. “I know about the loans. I’ve known for years now, and I assume your associates don’t. Not all of them, at least.”

“I won’t fall for baseless threats.” She spoke as if she was in a press conference, but with the way her fingers gripped at the chair in front of her, she wasn’t as sure of herself as she appeared to be.

“It’s not a threat. Not yet, at least.” Wonwoo granted, fixing his posture once again. “We want information on SIDEM. We know you’ve granted them a large deal of money back in 2016.”

“We? Have you taken a liking to talking in the plural, or do you mean you and your little bum friends?” Her voice was as cold as the shiver that snaked up his spine, freezing him in place. He willed his face to remain impassive but he could see from her smirk that she had seen past that. “Oh yes, I know of your little… What do you call them? Delinquent mates?”

The boy knew there was no use arguing with her. His mother had a good bluff, but he knew this was no bluff. “How much do you know?” He let the cold anger seep through his voice, to let her know he wasn’t playing around anymore.

“Not much.” His mother hummed. “Just that you’ve joined a bunch of useless children in some sort of illegal good-doing group.” She waved him off, like she was waving off the staff when she didn’t want anymore water. “I don’t care, honestly. Though I do hope you’ll grow up already and return home, this little game of yours is getting tiring.”

“I already have a home.” Wonwoo spoke before he even realized what he was saying, but he stood behind it nonetheless.

“I thought you weren’t here for sentimentalism.” His mother smirk, though he didn’t let himself be affected by it.

“How much do they know?” Wonwoo intended to get them back on track, watching as her fingers now tapped the red leather of the chair.

“Why should I tell you?” She wondered, making him pull the phone out of his left pocket.

“Because I’ve got all your illegal transfers, all that connects Jeon Enterprise to Blue Lotus and the illegal deals you’ve made through the years right on my fingertip.” The boy raised his chin in defiance, raising the screen by his face. “And I can release it all in an instant. Either to the police or to the press, whichever I see fit.” Whichever did the most damage, she understood.

“You think you can threaten me, boy?” The woman raised a brow, almost battling him with her stare.

“I know I can, and I am.” He pointed out, dropping his hand once again because he had already made his point clear. “So what will it be?”

His mother sighed, much like she did when she grew bored of an argument. As if she was handling delicate glass, she slid the scarf off her shoulders and placed it over the chair neatly, so it wouldn’t wrinkle. “They know who most of you are. Names, faces, though they do not know where you come from. I assume just a bunch of low life homeless kids.”

“Does that mean they don’t know our families?” Seungkwan was the one to question, though Wonwoo refrained from answering. He knew that question would be suspicious to her, too.

“What about your loan?” Wonwoo asked instead.

“They came to us with the proposition to start a large security company that would work with less than legitimate businesses. Part of their profit always returns to us, with no actual connection to Jeon Enterprise, of course.” She continued to explain, surprisingly more open than her son would’ve guessed.

“You didn’t know they were after us?” The male questioned, brows furrowing a bit.

“Not at first, I believe they either didn’t have that in mind or simply decided not to share the information. It was only after the Casino break-in that we’ve questioned them. After all, they did leave their security open. Not exactly wise of a security company.” His mother smirked, perhaps amused. “Only then did I found out that you were in that little group. I figured that having them chase after you would perhaps make you grow tired of that silly sympathy project and join us already.”

“I had no intention of joining you when I thought what you did was legal, and I have no intention of joining you now.” The anger returned to his tone as she continued to insult his friends, though at least now they had gotten what they had come for.

“From what I’ve heard, what you do is less than legal either, darling.” His mother pointed out, finally approaching him. “What makes you think you’re so different from us?”

“I’m not out there helping people who hurt others.” The younger argued, not sparing the judgment in his voice.

“So? You’re not exactly doing justice either, are you?” His mother questioned, glancing at the device in his hand. “You said you’ve known for what? I assume four years, since that’s when you left us. Yet you’ve never tried to put us behind bars, have you?” The boy felt himself gripping the phone a bit tighter, his heart now beating faster at her words. “You’ve known we’ve been loading off large amounts for years, yet did little to nothing to stop us.”

“I didn’t have enough evidence.” Wonwoo almost spat, though he still struggled to maintain his posture. However, it was useless. He had cracked in front of her, and now she was clawing the hole open like a beast.

“You do now.” The woman smiled, almost kindly, except Wonwoo knew better. “Come on, do it. Spread it to the press or the police, whoever you see fit. I won’t stop you.” Her eyes were so happy, yet so sharp, she knew exactly what she was doing to him and he hated it.

Wonwoo brought up his phone once again, finger trembling on the send button as he stared right into her. Right into her brown eyes he feared yet knew so well. To the wrinkles that threatened to mark her skin, despite the numerous creams she used against them. Into the golden specs of her irises, that as a kid he used to find so beautiful. Wonwoo stared and his finger itched, wanting so badly to touch the button, yet it did not move. It did not touch.

“See? You can’t do it.” The woman stepped back, winning their silent battle once again. The defeat felt like sandpaper in his throat as he watched her turn to leave the room. “You’re no different than the people who raised you, Wonwoo-yah. Don’t think yourself above us.”

And there he stood, glued in place by some invisible force. And even when Mingyu joined him after his mother had left, he didn’t move.

“Hyung, are you okay?” His voice was so soft it almost didn’t make past the thoughts circling his mind.

Wonwoo nodded, even though he knew he wasn’t. He looked fine, he wasn’t hurt. But it was back again, the familiar emptiness that grew inside him from the gash his mother had clawed through his armor.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the kudos and comments and hits and everything!!  
> Even the bookmarks, sometimes people leave these really cute comments when they bookmark it and it just makes me feel so confident and ;; thank you, really
> 
> Also I'm trying not to apologize so much for taking so long to post so instead I'll say thank you for waiting- lol
> 
> I've realized that I haven't touched much on exactly how China line joined, and honestly I didn't have a lot of intentions of writing out exactly those scenes for this fic, but right now I'm considering either approaching them in this fic or in a side one, who knows. 
> 
> Like always, please let me know if you find any typos!! I always reread before posting, but I always miss something. And don't be afraid to let me know what you think about the fic!! I am weak for comments ok and I have no shame in admitting it-


	26. Come round and round back to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So? They get to walk away because their kid and his friends are too nice?” Wonwoo almost hissed, not even realizing the level of his voice. They all looked tired, and he didn’t even dare to find a mirror to know what he looked like, but he also didn’t care. He tried to warn he wasn’t in the mood for this, and now he was just beyond pissed. “Why do you even care about them?!”
> 
> “We care about you, you idiot!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> or: the chapter I abused the italics
> 
> There's a lot of complicated feelings in this chapter that I tried to approach in a realistic way, especially in relation to the characters. I know they are sensitive subjects though, so if you feel I've approached it wrongly, please let me know.
> 
> Also small disclaimer: I fully believe in cutting off toxic relationships in your life. It doesn't matter if someone's a "best friend" or "family". If they do you harm, you shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting them in your life anymore. And no one should make you feel guilty, either.  
> Family are the people who care for you and your well being, blood related or not.

 

 

The trip back home had been an odd one to say the least. For so many guys literally sharing the same wavelength, it had been too quiet the entire time it took them from Wonwoo’s parent’s house to their apartment. And in the meantime, it felt like tension was only growing between them.

He knew there would be questions, talks, all that emotional baggage shit that usually came when one of them royally screwed up. However, Wonwoo was not in the mood for that. He was angry, pissed off at his parents and himself, and he was not up for talking.

“Hyung,” Mingyu called from behind as he practically burst his way into the apartment, Seokmin and Seungkwan already there waiting for them.

“ _Don’t_ —“ Wonwoo bit his tongue before snapping back at the other. He wasn’t in the right mind, Wonwoo was sane enough to know that. Whoever talked to him at the moment would take the risk of being yelled that, and the last thing Wonwoo wanted was to yell at Mingyu, of all people. “Not now, Gyu. Please?” He asked lowly, not daring to spare him a glance in fear of looking too harsh.

Thankfully, like always, Mingyu understood. From the corner of his eye Wonwoo could see the other nodding, and he made a mental note to do something for Mingyu later for putting up with him all these years.

When he looked up, the others seemed to understand his tone as well, yet they didn’t seem to be letting it go. Wonwoo pressed his lips into a thin line, watching as the rest soon filled the living room. For a moment he just exchanged stares with his older friends, having a silent conversation that hopefully translated as ‘Don’t make this a big deal’.

“Guys, can you give us some privacy?” Apparently, their looks were lost in translation.

It was funny how even though Seungcheol didn’t specify any names, they all knew who he was talking to. All the ones younger than Wonwoo and his same age friends. They were hesitant, but after a moment or two they began making their way into the bigger bedroom.

“Why can’t we stay?” Minghao’s tone was almost angry, though they all knew it was simply the boy’s way of showing concern. Like when he yelled at Hansol for forgetting to turn off the video game or at Mingyu for breaking yet another glass.

“Hao, come on.” Mingyu’s voice was soft in contrast, and with a tug on the other’s hand he easily coerced him to follow the rest of them.

Once they were all out of listening range, Seungcheol nudged his head towards the kitchen, and the rest followed. Including Wonwoo, even if he dragged his feet and muttered how stupid it all was under his breath.

“I hesitated.” Wonwoo admitted once he was inside the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the table. “I fucked up, I know.”

“That’s not the point, Wonwoo-nie.” Jun’s voice was as soft as his eyes, and it made his stomach stir uncomfortably. He didn’t like it, being treated with so much care.

“That _is_ the point.” Wonwoo insisted, aware of how cold he sounded. “I hesitated, I know. But it won’t happen again.” He assured them, pushing himself off the counter in hopes that the conversation was over.

“You’re right, it won’t.” Seungcheol agreed, hands on the kitchen table behind himself. “Because we’re not doing that again.”

“Of course not, the next party is in like four months. Unless you want me to break into my own house and threaten my parents at night.” He raised a brow challengingly.

“No, it won’t happen because you’re not threatening them again. You’re not going after your parents, and we’re not divulging the information we found.”

Wonwoo laughed then, short yet loud. “You can’t be serious.” He insisted, because that was the fucking stupidest idea he had ever heard, including Soonyoung’s ideas.

“We _are_ serious.” Jihoon spoke now with as much authority as the eldest. “We’re not putting out the information. We already got what we needed anyway.”

Already got what we needed? Wonwoo grit his teeth, trying his best not to simply point out how fucking ridiculous they were. “They’re still out there.” Wonwoo let out. “How is that what we needed?”

“We went in to get information, and we got it.” Jeonghan reasoned, standing next to the leader. “Arresting your parents was not our objective.”

“We put people like them away!” Wonwoo socffed, pushing his hair back. “Why do they get to walk scotch free?”

“Because they’re your parents.” Jihoon spat back with as much fierceness in his tone.

This, this was what Wonwoo hated. His parents got away with everything. Even he got away with everything, when he was younger. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right.

“So? They get to walk away because their kid and his friends are too nice?” Wonwoo almost hissed, not even realizing the level of his voice. They all looked tired, and he didn’t even dare to find a mirror to know what he looked like, but he also didn’t care. He tried to warn he wasn’t in the mood for this, and now he was just beyond pissed. “Why do you even care about them?!”

“We care about _you_ , you idiot!” Soonyoung let out, his eyes now wide and brows at a 45 degree angle, matching his anger.

“Well then don’t! I’m fine!” The taller hacker argued, ignorant to how the atmosphere seemed to grow even colder.

“You’re not fucking fine!” It was Soonyoung turn to laugh, nothing like his usual cheerful laughter. It was exaggerated and sharp, and it made something else stir in Wonwoo’s stomach. “You just went against your fucking parents, your mother was a total bitch, by the way, and she practically dragged your ass. You’re not fine, Wonwoo.”

“ _Soonyoung_.” Jisoo reprimanded the other’s harsh words, trying to pull him back. Only when the younger shook him off did Wonwoo realize he was practically up against him. Both of them, now standing in the middle of the kitchen and trying to stare each other down with inches of nothingness separating them.

“No, he needs to hear this.” Soonyoung insisted, eyes aimed right into Wonwoo’s, making it impossible for him to look away. “She got into your head, and she put some stupid shit in there. And until you realize they were all lies, you don’t get to make stupid choices that could haunt you forever.”

Wonwoo let out an amused hum, because that’s what he did when he was furious. How could they be so sure of what was going on in his head? Why was Soonyoung so sure that his mother had messed him up? What gave him the right to dissect his feelings like that? “And who the hell are you to decide for me?” His voice was low as he let all his anger seep out through it, squinting down at the other.

“We’re your friends.” The sharpness in Soonyoung’s eyes faded away along with all the anger in his voice, making way for kindness and care. “Isn’t that enough?”

And fuck, was that a punch to the gut. Wonwoo was suddenly breathless, stepping back to try to pull himself together. Here he was, being a complete dick to the only group of people who had ever actually managed to care about him, for whatever fucking reason. And here he was, screwing it all up like he always did.

“Wonwoo…?” Junhui called gently, making Wonwoo wonder for how long he had stood there in silence.

“I’m gonna sleep in the office.” The hacker replied instead, wetting his lips in a useless attempt of getting the bitterness out of his mouth.

“ _Wonwoo_.” As hard as it was, he ignored the Chinese’s second call as he made his way out of the kitchen. He couldn’t risk saying something he’d regret again. He couldn’t risk hurting them more than he already had.

 

 

——

 

 

The younger members had decided to wait in the bigger room to give the rest of them privacy, yes. But to say they hadn’t heard at least half of their conversation would be a blatant lie. Another lie would be to say Mingyu didn’t feel somewhat guilty. He didn’t like eavesdropping, not in serious cases. Yet could it even be considered that when they were practically yelling everything?

Despite their attempts to start a lighter conversation to muffle out the other’s argument, they weren’t very successful. Eventually, the boys gave up, each of them either trading awkward stares or fumbling with their phones. It was only when a door slammed that all of them looked at each other once again, sensing the conversation was over.

“You think he’s okay?” Seokmin traded his usual loud voice for a gentler one, as if scouting the terrain. Mingyu shook his head however, knowing better.

“No, but I think they were right to talk to him. Otherwise he does that thing and none of us can get through.”

“What thing?” Hansol asked, brows raised in naivety.

“You know, the way he gets when he’s upset.” Mingyu sighed from where he sat on the floor, legs bent at the knees and elbows resting on them while he picked at his short fingernails. “Hyung just disappears into himself, and it’s almost impossible to get him to let anyone in.”

He didn’t blame Hansol for not knowing. Truth was, it hadn’t happened that often since they joined the group. In fact, it had happened less and less with every member that joined. Despite his introverted personality, Wonwoo obviously thrived with their company. He was quiet and not exactly a social butterfly like Junhui or Soonyoung, but Mingyu knew he enjoyed being with them, even if he didn’t say so that often.

“I don’t blame him.” Minghao mumbled, picking at the loose threads on his sleeves. “If my own mother talked to me like that, I’d be pretty pissed off too. And my parents didn’t exactly set the bar that high.”

“Has she always been like that?” Seungkwan’s brows pulled together in concern, his lips twisting into an unflattering frown.

“Since I remember, yeah.” Mingyu confessed. “His father is no better either. They’re both just… Way into that world, you know?”

“What do you mean? What world?” Chan’s confused frown also carried a sense of innocence that was so refreshing at a time like this.

“That whole corporative world.” Mingyu gestured by rolling his hand, not being able to define it precisely. “Wonwoo’s grandparents kinda left them in bad financial situation when they were still young, so they had to work to get Jeon Enterprise back to its former status. And to get that wealthy in such a short time kinda messes with your head, you know?”

“Kinda like fame?” Hansol suggested.

“Sort of, yeah. It’s just that, to climb up in their business you gotta do a lot of shit that questions your morals. Even if it’s legal shit, you gotta fire people, cut down paychecks, screw friends over. And sometimes people get so obsessed with money, they lose track of what’s right or wrong.”

“So are your parents like that too?” The worry in Seokmin’s voice was so touching, Mingyu had to resist the urge to coo.

“Nah, not really. My parents have always been wealthy, so they never really had to fight for the money they have. Of course, that leads to a whole other set of problems that really annoy me but are not really worth getting into right now.” Mingyu rolled his eyes. “But they were never so cold, you know?”

They all nodded a bit, some humming in agreement. Mingyu didn’t like talking about those things much. Not because it made him feel bad, it actually helped to talk, but because he sometimes felt his issues were nothing compared to what some of the others had to go through. Yet he knew that was a stupid way of thinking, even if he hadn’t yet convinced himself of that.

“When I was a kid my grandma always said it was nice I was befriending hyung.” He remembered her words so clearly. _It’s so nice of you to be nice to the Jeon kid, Mingyu-yah_. She’d repeat whenever he came back from playing with the other. They never sounded like happy words, though. They sounded like sympathy, like he was doing a good deed.

“It always felt like she pitied him. But they were well off too, and their house was huge, so I never understood why. That was until I got to see what his parents were like.” Mingyu sighed, now picking at the cuffs of the suit jacket he was still wearing. “I don’t know, they didn’t hurt him, not physically, just… It felt so cold, you know? Like they weren’t even family. It felt like his parents didn’t care.”

“That sounds horrible.” Seungkwan’s voice carried the weight of his sadness, his eyes selling him out as well. Mingyu knew exactly how he felt.

“Is that why it’s hard for him to open up?” Seokmin wondered, rubbing his own arm as he reasoned. “Because they didn’t really open up to him?”

Mingyu hummed with a nod, stretching out both legs now. “His parents were raised with that mentality of not trusting anyone, and they wanted to raise him like that too.” The taller explained. “I mean, hyung is much better now though. And he’s way different from them, no matter what he says. He just…”

“He still feels like sharing his feelings is wrong.” Minghao breathed out, leaning his head back against the wall.

“Part of him, at least.” Mingyu nodded once again.

“So what can we do?” Chan was the voice of innocence again, looking up at him with his angled yet big eyes.

“I’ll try to talk to him later, but we gotta give him some time first, okay?” He asked, hoping they all understood. “This is just really hard for him, and if we push too much he might just hide into himself even more. We gotta be patient.”

Unsurprisingly, they all agreed, and that made his chest a little less tight. It was hard when they were younger, when Wonwoo only had him and Mingyu would have to struggle to get through to him.

But now there were more of them, right? They had friends, people who were willing to hear them out and help them. People who would do anything to see him smile again.

They had a family.

 

 

——

 

 

It was practically noon when Mingyu decided to knock on the office’s door. Jun and Hansol had already made their attempts earlier, with unfortunately no success. Mingyu hadn’t expected anything else, though. Perhaps hoped for better results, but he knew his friend too well not to get too excited.

Even without an answer, Mingyu made his way into the dark computer room, squinting to make out his surroundings. Carefully, because the last thing he needed right now was to knock something over, he reached the desk where his friend was, typing away in his laptop. Pulling a chair, the younger sat beside him, wetting his lips.

“I made us some brunch.” Mingyu began with something unrelated, because that’s how they usually did it. He’d scan the situation, see how Wonwoo was doing before bringing up any sensitive subjects. “I made scrambled eggs the way you like it. Which Minghao hates, by the way, so you should know the risk I’m taking here.” The younger joked, trying to get a reaction from his friend.

Nothing.

Keeping himself from sighing, Mingyu took in the atmosphere, realizing that maybe Wonwoo was taking this a little bit harder than other times. That was okay, they’d find a way. They always did.

“What are you doing?” Mingyu asked now, looking at the computer.

“Working.” It was barely a mumble, but the younger understood it nonetheless.

“Hyung, we just got out of a job, there’s no work.”

“There’s always work.” Wonwoo insisted almost stubbornly, even though his voice was still the same low monotone.

“Not even Jihoon-hyung is working.” Mingyu raised a brow. Wonwoo could be a workaholic sometimes, but they all knew Jihoon took the prize.

“That’s because his laptop is here and he’s too awkward to come in.” The older quickly provided. “You can tell him I’m sorry if you want.”

“Nah, I’m pretty sure Jun-hyung is happy he has a reason not to get all cooped up in here for hours.” Mingyu snickered lightly, trying to get at least a smile from the other again. And again, nothing. “What could you even be working on, anyway?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Wonwoo dryly answered, showing his patience was slowly starting to run low.

“It matters if it’s work, hyung.” Mingyu teased gently, knowing that even if he didn’t show, that would ease his nerves a bit. “Come on, what could you even be working on? We got so much info last night, we still gotta process all that by ourselves.”

Wonwoo decided not to answer to that, though. Instead he simply licked his lips, jaw locking in place for a moment as his fingers continued moving over the keyboard. Mingyu knew that look. It was the look Wonwoo made when he didn’t get his way, when things didn’t go as planned.

“Hyung, you gotta let this go.” Mingyu spoke softly now, knowing those words wouldn’t come easy to the other. And indeed, he practically flinched, fingers freezing for a moment. “We did what we had to do, there’s nothing else we can do now.”

“We didn’t do all we had to do.” The older grit his teeth, and even though he continued typing, it was clear he wasn’t focused anymore.

“Yes we did, we got the information, right? It’s even more than we could’ve expected.” He insisted, trying to get his friend to stop being so hard on himself. Despite her less than kind attitude, Wonwoo’s mother had actually gave them more than they expected. Sure, it raised more doubts, but answered a lot of questions too.

“It’s not enough.” The other stretched and closed his fists, struggling to focus on either the conversation or on the work.

“But it is, hyung.” Instead of stubborn, Mingyu tried his best to convey his concern. He wasn’t angry at his friend, he knew trying to beat an idea into him would be useless. He needed to understand.

“It’s not enough, Gyu.” The older repeated through gritted teeth.

“Why is it not enough?” He questioned, brows pulling together in worry. “Because this is also about your parents? We never expected you to expose them, hyung. It was never the plan, you had no one to disappoint.” No one but himself, apparently.

“This is not–“ Wonwoo kept himself from raising his tone, head now turning to Mingyu but eyes aimed at the floor. “This is not just about them, okay?”

“Then what is it about?” Mingyu asked, but instead of answering, the older just looked away again. There he was, retreating, going to that place in his mind that Mingyu had no idea where it was, but he knew it wasn’t good for him.

“Don’t hide away from me, hyung.” The boy pleaded, whispered, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder. “ _Please_?”

He could see it, on his friend’s fleeting gaze and quivering lips. Wonwoo was struggling. He was struggling not to hide, not to simply lock himself away from anyone else and listen to whatever the voices in his head were saying. Mingyu knew his struggle, and even if he had never gone through it, he still felt it in his bone. He still hurt for his friend, and he wanted so much to help. But this, this Wonwoo needed to do on his own. Mingyu was already reaching out, he just needed to take his hand.

“It’s my fault.” It was barely a whisper that travelled from his twitching lips, weak and tired. “Everything that’s happening, it’s my fault, Gyu.”

“What are you talking about?” The younger asked, genuinely confused now.

“Can’t you see? The SIDEM thing, Ming Ming, it’s all my fault.” He confessed in a long breath, finally looking back at the younger. And fuck, Mingyu had to fight not to look away, because it hurt. It broke his heart to see the pain in his friend’s eyes, the guilt and regret they carried, making him wonder what the hell was Wonwoo going through.

“Hyung, it’s not–“

“I knew about my parents, Gyu. I knew all along, you know that. And I never stopped them, because, what? They were my parents? That’s not–“ Wonwoo chuckled dryly, pushing his fingers into his dark hair. “And then what? They finance the same guys that are after us. Don’t you see, Gyu? If I had stopped them before, if I hadn’t been so fucking weak, they would be in jail and they wouldn’t have given SIDEM money. Those guys would’ve never recovered, they wouldn’t have come after us, and Jun wouldn’t have—“

“ _Stop_.” Mingyu raised his voice because the last thing he needed was Wonwoo blaming himself for any of that, especially not that. He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

“It’s my fault, Gyu. It’s my fault because I wouldn’t go after my parents, and I…” He gasped softly, shaking his head while trying to steel his look once again. “I can’t let that happen again.”

“Hyung, stop it, please.” Mingyu begged gently, eyes searching the other’s. “If you truly believe that, then it’s my fault too, okay? Because I knew of your parents too. So I got as much fault in this as you do.”

“Gyu—“

“No, it’s my turn.” The younger insisted. “Hyung, this is your mother talking, okay? Because even if they had been in jail, those SIDEM guys would’ve found someone else to give them money. They’d made a deal with some other shady company, and somehow found a way to us. The only way we could’ve kept it all from happening is if we had completely dismantled them when we found them, and that’s just–“

Mingyu paused, rubbing his forehead as he tried to gather his strength. “We were _kids_ , hyung. We are kids. We had no idea these things would ever happened, and we had no way of knowing, either. You can’t try to carry every mistake you ever did, because guess what? We make a shit ton of mistakes.”

At that, Wonwoo’s frown seemed to soften a bit. Mingyu knew they weren’t done, and he was scared he had been a bit too harsh on him, but he could also see he wasn’t that willing to fight him on it either, so maybe that was a small win for the day. Honestly, he’d take any victory.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’m just trying to be honest.” The younger offered a gentle smile, hoping he hadn’t hurt his friend in the process. Mingyu pushed himself up, figuring his friend needed some time alone now. He grabbed his shoulder once more, squeezing it firmly to provide some sort of comfort. “I’ll leave the food in the fridge. Try to eat something, okay?”

Yet again, there was no smile in return, but the other did give him a small nod. And like said, he’d take any victory right now.

 

 

——

 

 

“Can I come in?”

It was after dusk when Jeonghan peeked through the opening of the door, spotting his younger friend sitting on the desk with his laptop all set up. The other only spared him a glance before shrugging, and given how prone to snapping back he had been the last few days, Jeonghan counted himself lucky for the muted response.

The older made his way inside, grabbing one of the spare computer chairs to slide in next to him. Not too close, though. Wonwoo was one of those people that had a personal bubble around him, and it became even more delicate when he wasn’t in the best of moods. Therefore, Jeonghan had no intention of invading it.

For a moment, he just sat, facing the boy who refused to turn to him, choosing to work on his computer. Apparently, his mere company seemed to bother Wonwoo though, seen from the way his shoulders stiffened up more and more with each second.

“Why are you here?” He mumbled, less aggressively than he probably intended. He was tired, Jeonghan could see, and it squeezed his heart a bit.

“Can’t I just want to watch you work?” The older wondered, trying to break the tension a bit with that blatant lie. Jeonghan had no patience for what Wonwoo and Jihoon did. He admired it, of course, but for him sitting around looking at codes all day was the epitome of boredom, and that came from someone who once literally watched paint dry because he was too tired to move.

“Very unlikely.” The hacker replied in monotone, to which Jeonghan almost smiled. At least a bit of Wonwoo was still in there. “Look, if you’re here to lecture me about what happened, can you just leave it? I already had to shake off Seungkwan.”

“I’m not, not really.” Jeonghan shook his head, fixing his fringe behind his ear to look at the other properly, even if he wouldn’t look back. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing there, and maybe it showed in the way he now fumbled with his fingers. “I just thought, maybe, I don’t know… Maybe you’d wanna talk with someone who understands.” He blurted out the last part, because there was a portion of him that felt he was being too presumptuous in assuming he understood even half of what the boy was going through.

Wonwoo snickered dryly, that bubble of his growing thicker. “How the hell would you understand?” That was a fair point, a very good point indeed, and Jeonghan had to will himself not to make a stupid joke and just run out of there with his tail between his legs. He wasn’t scared of Wonwoo, he was just terrified of making his friend feel worse than he already did.

“My dad beat me.” Jeonghan blurted out, now finally getting the other’s attention. Okay, that wasn’t how it was supposed to go. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant to say. Like, it was, but not like that. And actually, it was my stepdad. Just that he was kinda like a father to me, you know? So I just kinda morph the two together,”

“Hyung—“ Wonwoo faced him now, with parted lips and eyes that read both surprise and a bit of regret. Why regret? Did he feel bad for him?

“No, no, let me finish. Please? I promise I have a point.” The oldest asked, thankfully getting a silent nod in return. “I don’t know if you knew already.” Jeonghan knew who knew for sure, such as Seungcheol and Soonyoung, but it was a big secret to keep. Actually, it had never been a secret. Jeonghan didn’t talk about it, but he never asked any of them not to tell. Judging from Wonwoo’s look though, he was in the group that didn’t know yet.

“It wasn’t something frequent,” Jeonghan licked his lips, fixing his hair behind his ear once again. He really needed a haircut. “But it happened more times than Cheol and Shua know, and I’d like it to keep it that way.” He stared into the younger’s eyes then, receiving another nod in return. Good.

“This isn’t the point, though. I’m not here for a pity talk or anything, just…” The oldest sighed, fixing his posture while placing his hands on his knees. “My stepfather was a good guy that turned into a shitty person. He beat me, he gambled, he did everything in the ‘Shitty Dad’ book, and I had every reason to get him arrested or at least taken away from us or some shit.”

The look in Wonwoo’s eyes proved he now knew where Jeonghan was going with that. He truly was a smart one, huh? Perhaps it was silly, but Jeonghan felt kind of proud.

“But you didn’t.” Wonwoo concluded, and the oldest couldn’t help the bitter smile that curved on his lips.

He shrugged, taking a quiet breath to figure out his next words. This wasn’t normal for him. He was usually the one to listen, not talk. However, Jeonghan figured that maybe Wonwoo needed to listen before he was willing to talk, so there they were.

“I had every chance.” Jeonghan admitted. “Cheol always had my back. He said I could just pick him out in a crowd, and he’d kick his ass until he never thought about hurting me again. And Shua… Shua fucking read up on how many years we could get him to do if we got him arrested. He researched laws and shit, just in case I wanted to go to the police. I had every chance of making him pay for what he did, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.”

“Because he’s your father.” The younger mumbled. Jeonghan hadn’t even noticed he had been staring at his own hands until Wonwoo’s voice got his attention again, looking up at the male.

“Because he’s my father.” Jeonghan hummed, the cold smirk still there. “And then I felt like shit, because that guy’s out there, living with my mom and gambling his money away, and I’m here. I’m here sitting on my ass when I could stop him. I felt like, by doing nothing, I was no different than him. I was a horrible person for letting him walk. And I felt that way for a long time.”

“And you don’t anymore?” Wonwoo frowned a bit. Not judging, but curious, hopeful. Jeonghan was glad.

“Not nearly as much, no.” Jeonghan explained, rubbing his knees before sliding his hands back up his thighs a bit. “And you shouldn’t, either.”

The younger paused, opening his mouth a couple of times as if trying to decide on what to say. “This is different.” He insisted, eyes avoiding the older now.

“The story is different, but the feeling is the same.” Jeonghan reasoned. “I know how you feel Wonwoo, I felt how you feel. But you gotta realize we’re not like them.” The older insisted, brows furrowing.

“What makes you so sure?” Wonwoo’s voice on the verge of hoarse, tired, and it hurt so much to listen. “Because we’re too weak to go after them? How does that make us different? How does that make us better?”

“Because we’re compassionate.” Jeonghan corrected him, keeping the other’s stare to convince him he knew what he was talking about. “I’m not saying we’re right for not ratting them out. They should pay for what they did, and someday they will. Someday we’ll be able to cut them off fully, because that’s what they deserve. But the simple fact that we’re not capable of hurting them despite the hurt they caused us, the simple fact that we still hope there’s some good left in them, that’s what makes us better. Our compassion is what sets us apart from them.”

He could see Wonwoo gulping, his eyes trembling a bit before looking away. Next came a dry yet tired chuckle, his fingers pushing through the dark locks of his hair as if trying to get a hold of himself. “And how does that help us stop them?”

“It doesn’t.” The oldest admitted, now with a warm smile as he tilted his head, trying to get the other to look at him again. “But neither does hating yourself. You’re not your parents, Wonwoo, just like I’m not my stepfather. We’re not to blame for the wrongs they do. It’s not our fault.”

And then finally, much like a dam that was overflowing, the boy broke. He didn’t sob or wail, but there were tears rolling down his cheeks, there were short breaths and fingers gripping at his ripped jeans. But instead of heartbreaking, it was relief. A relief to watch his friend finally let go of those feelings, finally forgive himself, even if just a little bit.

“I just wished I didn’t care for them.” The younger confessed through small sobs, uselessly pushing the balls of his palms against his eyes to stop his tears.

Jeonghan’s smile became warmer, kinder, and he slid closer to place his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Then you wouldn’t be the Wonwoo we know.” He ran his thumbs over his cheeks to dry the other’s tears, an unusual sight indeed, but pointing it out would surely break it in a moment. “And I kinda like this Wonwoo.”

The hacker sniffed a couple of times, rubbing his nose almost like a child. “God, you’re so cheesy.” He mumbled, though his tiny smirk sold him out.

“Yep, that’s the Wonwoo I know.” Jeonghan laughed softly, teasingly ruffling the other’s hair before pulling back. “If I were you I wouldn’t complain though, I could be much worse.” Jeonghan reminded him before poking the tip his friend’s nose.

“Fuck off.” Wonwoo laughed through his tears, shoving the other’s chair to make him roll away. “Just stay how you are, it’s bad enough already.”

Jeonghan laughed as well, taking the hint and pushing himself off the chair. “You know what? I’ll take that as a compliment.”

The younger snickered, looking much better than he did when Jeonghan had first entered the room. “Good, you should.” He gave him a warm smile then, another rare sight from Wonwoo, and another Jeonghan would never dare ruining. “I kinda like this Jeonghan, too.”

For a moment the eldest was out of words, something that never happened to him. It was silly, it was just a joke, but it still made his chest swell up with something warm. Something nice. “Thanks.”

“No, thank you, hyung.” Wonwoo’s smile became smaller, softer, yet still honest. Jeonghan’s hand was already on the doorknob when the younger called again. “And if you ever need to… You know? I’m here.”

Jeonghan found himself returning that smile when he looked over his shoulder, giving the other a short nod. “I know.”

 

 

——

 

 

It shouldn’t feel so awkward, walking into his own room. Sure, he was merely one of the occupants, but they usually felt pretty comfortable around each other. In fact, too comfortable, to the point where knocking had become something practically inexistent. So Wonwoo shouldn’t feel so out of place as he pushed open the door, spotting both Dino and Soonyoung playing some card game on the older’s bed.

“What are you playing?” The hacker asked, while they eyed him curiously. Clearly, they were both surprised to see him approaching them, but thankfully they didn’t make a scene.

“Poker.” The youngest answered.

“Poker?” Soonyoung blinked. “I thought we were playing gin.”

Wonwoo almost snickered at Chan’s surrendered look, eyes drooping and mouth opening a bit. “Chan, Mingyu’s been looking for you. I think he’s in the gym.” He quickly spared the boy of dealing with the Soonyoung’s antics, allowing the youngest to walk by him while muttering something close to _‘If he broke another bag—‘_

“What’d he need Chan for?” Soonyoung wondered as he gathered the card deck.

“No clue, I made that up.” Wonwoo admitted cooly, sitting on the same bed as his friend, across from him.

“They’re gonna figure that out.” Soonyoung quipped, though by the grin on his lips he sure seemed amused.

“Yeah, but it’s gonna take them hours.” He reasoned, gripping his knees a bit to try to push away the awkwardness that still stood between them. “And it’ll give me sometime to apologize.”

“You need hours to apologize?” The thief teased.

“Shut up.”

Soonyoung propely laughed now. Maybe not loud or for long, but it was genuine, and it helped Wonwoo get rid of at least some of the tension. “What do you gotta apologize for, anyway? Besides the years of mistreatment while I was nothing but an incredible friend.”

“Oh no, I still stand by that.” Wonwoo smirked, also enjoying the frown between the other’s brows. “You know what for. For going at you that night. You were trying to help and I acted like a jerk.” He sighed, rubbing his knees.

“Ah, don’t worry about that, seriously.” Soonyoung waved him off, and he truly seemed unbothered. “You were upset and you said some shit, it’s fine. I know you didn’t mean it.”

“Still, it doesn’t excuse what I did, so I’m sorry.” The hacker insisted, pressing his lips together. He knew he hadn’t said anything particularly bad to Soonyoung, but he was still rude. The two of them bickered all the time, yes, but they never fought like that. It felt wrong, and even if Wonwoo could get away without apologizing, he didn’t want to. “And also for some of the mistreating.” He gave the other a knowing look, hoping he’d understand.

“Eh, if you’re gonna apologize for _that_ , then I’ll have to apologize for that, and I’m not in the mood to apologize right now.” The thief snorted, and Wonwoo took the hint that it was a conversation for another time. Good.

“When are you ever?” It was his turn to tease, earning an offended yet entirely fake gasp from his friend.

“Here I was thinking you were being nice, but it was all just a ruse.”

“A ruse? Have you been reading one of my books again?” Wonwoo teased, though he fully enjoyed the other’s baffled face as he tried to conjure some excuse.

“Just because I know a few words that doesn’t mean I’ve been reading your stupid books.” Soonyoung muttered stubbornly, fooling no one but himself. Maybe not even himself. Wonwoo chuckled at the idea, missing how his friend’s expression suddenly softened. “How are you doing, by the way?”

There it was, the question Wonwoo despised. “I’m okay.” Soonyoung’s eyes narrowed in a way that read ‘ _cut the bullshit_ ’. “I’m better.” The hacker corrected himself then, figuring his friend deserved at least the truth.

“That’s good.” The older smiled warmly, eyes turning into thin slits.

“Better is good?” Wonwoo wondered, raising a brow.

“It’s better than okay.” Soonyoung reasoned. “At least it’s the truth.” He added then, as if the held the truth above all else.

“I kinda would prefer if I was okay.” Wonwoo admitted, scratching the back of his neck. He hated feeling like this, with all those nasty thoughts in his mind. Not only were they a pain in the ass, but he felt like his mood dragged everybody down.

“You will be.” The smile returned once again. “But to get there, you gotta go through better. And it’s okay if you’re not okay, ‘cause being okay is not everything, you know? Sometimes we’re just not okay. And after all that happened, I don’t think any of us expects you to be okay, so you shouldn’t either.”

“Do you realize how many times you’ve said the word ‘okay’?” Wonwoo joked with a quirk of his lips, trying to lightened the mood a bit. More for himself than for the other, if he was completely honest.

“Eloquence is my charm.” Soonyoung bragged, placing a hand on his chest.

“That explains a lot.” Wonwoo didn’t miss the way Soonyoung held back a laugh, failing to dodge the punch his friend sent his shoulder.

“Shut up.” The thief failed to hide his laughter now, and Wonwoo was glad he did. “I know you don’t wanna hear this, but…” The other pressed his lips together, clearly not excited to bring up whatever subject he was bringing up. “Are you still going after your parents?”

Ah, that. Of course they would talk about that. For a moment, Wonwoo was a little disappointed. He was starting to feel so much better, so… At home, if that made any sense. And now all the self doubt and anxiety that had been chasing him those past few days came rushing back to him.

“Yeah, but…” Wonwoo wet his lips. “Not right now? I still want to get them for what they did, I just…”

“Need some time?” Wonwoo nodded, hoping he didn’t look as pathetic as he felt. “Good.” The thief grinned now, and somehow that managed to push some of those annoying self-deprecating feelings away.

“Now, wanna play gin?” Soonyoung suggested, holding the deck up once again.

Wonwoo snickered at that, waving the other off. “Yah, do you even know how to play that? Because from what I’ve seen, it all points to no.”

“Yah, I was just messing around! Of course I knew we were playing solitaire.”

“Poker.” Wonwoo corrected with a smirk.

“Potato, tomato.” Usually Wonwoo would roll his eyes at Soonyoung’s silliness, wondering how much was staged and how much was actual ignorance. Right now, however, he just laughed. It was stupid, and kind of annoying, but it was familiar. And Wonwoo needed familiar.

“UNO?” The hacker suggested, enjoying the way his friend’s eyes lit up with the option.

“UNO!”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE HITS/KUDOS/COMMENTS/BOOKMARKS!!  
> People left such nice and amazing comments, and this has like 500+ kudos right now and over 9k hits like WTH?!!? So thank you so much, really <3
> 
> Despite the busy week I feel this chapter was easier to write than I expected. I know a lot of you had high expectations for it though, so I hope it's not too bad- lol 
> 
> PLease let me know what you think! I love reading your comments so much, seriously. I literally reply out loud to the comments I read. It's honestly embarrassing.
> 
> And like always, don't be afraid to let me know if you find a typo!!! I always reread before posting, but I always miss a typo or two, so you'd be helping me out a lot!
> 
> Happy holidays for those who celebrate it! For the ones who don't, just have an awesome day!


	27. I’m ready to listen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “…Do you?”
> 
> “Hm?”
> 
> “Worry about me?”
> 
> Jisoo chuckled lowly, a bit incredulous, yet he didn’t raise his voice. “You’re really asking me that?” Sometimes he wanted to be like Soonyoung or Chan and just complain loudly when he was annoyed. But instead, he simply continued to clean the cut. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how ok but two scenes turned out to be like over 2k words long and this turned into a moNSTER OF A CHAPTER and I'm so sorry I clearly don't know what I'm doing ok 
> 
> Also I wasn't intending on so much soft angst so soon so yeah now you have more reasons to hate me, you're welcome-

 

_2012_

 

Late nights weren’t unusual when one worked the kinds of jobs Seungcheol did. The convenience store had odd hours ran the entire day after all, and it wasn’t uncommon for him to take the later shifts once in a while. They were pretty quiet, which usually meant he had a lot of time to himself to work out their next job and even talk to the rest of the guys if necessary.

Of course, late shifts also meant coming home after midnight, when the place was already dark and much quieter than during the earlier hours of the evening. Not to mention they could be a bit extra tiring. Maybe it wasn’t so hard for those who would sleep during the morning, but Seungcheol was somewhat of an early riser, not wanting to waste any time.

However, even in the silent hours of the night, he found he wasn’t the only one awake. As the young male put away his jacket and kicked off his beaten old converses, he spotted someone else in the living room. Their slim frame sat by the taller window, poetically lit by the silver light of the full moon. The shape of the window framed him perfectly, and if Seungcheol ever had one hint of artistic vein in him, he’d have taken a picture right there. Instead, he settled for sitting next to the long haired boy, taking a moment to trace his moonlit profile with his eyes.

“I told you you don’t have to wait up for me, you know?” Seungcheol held his knees up against his chest, wondering what his friend spotted on the window, or maybe even higher up in the sky, yet he didn’t look away to search for whatever it was.

“Couldn’t sleep.” Jeonghan’s answer was simple, yet it made Seungcheol wonder how much of it was a lie. After all, it seemed hardly a coincidence that the boy would have trouble sleeping whenever he took the night shifts. Or perhaps one was a consequence of the other. Yet that seemed even more far-fetched.

“That seems unlike you.” The older teased, managing to get half a grin out of the other. It wasn’t much, and it made Seungcheol wonder if there really was something troubling the other. It wasn’t like him not to bite back with his own teasing, after all.

This was an odd hour for them, 2 in the morning. It hadn’t been the first nor the second time Seungcheol came in with the other waiting up for him. Sometimes he’d be reading, other times he’d be fixing them some food. Yet there were these occasion where Jeonghan was simply… Waiting.

What for? Seungcheol was never sure. But in such occasions, it felt like their apartment wasn’t their apartment. It was as if they had entered a different reality, where they were still them but not always in the context they were inserted. Seungcheol was sure that if he tried explaining it to anyone else, they’d think he was crazy. However, it was more simple than it seemed.

At these times, when the moon was high and the place was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, they could be whoever they wanted to. They could say whatever they wanted, talk about whatever was bothering them, and it wouldn’t hurt them. And if in the morning they decided they wanted to pretend nothing the night had never happened, they could. It was like a silent agreement that had become both familiar and refreshing to them.

It was their escape from the judging daylight into the welcoming moonlight.

“Am I a bad person?”

“Hm?” Seungcheol hummed in question as he snapped out of his inner thoughts, finding that he was still looking at his friend.

“Am I a bad person?” Jeonghan repeated, eyes fixed on the moon that shyly hid behind thin clouds.

“Well, you’re no goody-two-shoes.” The older reasoned with a shrug, though he soon shook his head lightly. “But you’re not a bad person.”

It was the other’s turn to shrug, his knees also bent and his fingertips picking at the little fabric balls forming on his jeans. “Then why can’t I choose?”

Seungcheol’s brows pulled together in a small frown, the side of his head resting on his knees as he still tried to read his friend’s expression. Not that he ever could, Seungcheol should know better by now. “What do you mean?”

“It should be easy.” Jeonghan wet his lips out of habit eyes fleeting slightly. “I, we, we’re…” The younger sighed, and Seungcheol couldn’t remember the last time he saw Jeonghan struggling to gather his thoughts like that. “We’ve known each other for longer. And there’s something, even if there isn’t something right now, there’s just… There’s something, right? We both know it.”

He finally looked at Seungcheol for confirmation, and this time the older raised his head to nod a bit. Something they couldn’t name, something that only showed up at these hours of the night, when they were still protected by their own illusions. Something between them.

“So it should be easy.” Jeonghan continued, looking back at the window. His voice carried a tone of frustration now, a bit breathier than usual. “There shouldn’t even be a choice to be made. It should be you, I want it to be you.”

Seungcheol would be lying if he said his chest didn’t squeeze at that. Regardless of what would come afterwards, hearing Jeonghan wanted him, even if not in those exact words, already felt good enough for him.

“…But?” The older asked, knowing the word lingered there somewhere.

Jeonghan wet his lips yet again, his expression twitching slightly into something that for a moment looked like fear. “But there’s also him.”

 _Him_. Seungcheol didn’t have to ask to know who he was. And surprisingly, his heart didn’t hurt at the other’s confession either. Though maybe if he was a bit more honest with himself, it wouldn’t be such big of a surprise.

“I won’t be upset if you choose him.” The older confessed. It would hurt, probably, but for some reason the idea wasn’t so bitter in his mouth as he expected.

The other snorted at that, and even if the mood was still somewhat heavy, it felt nice to see that bit of smile on his lips. “Of course not, you’re fucking perfect.” There was no sting in the words either, so Seungcheol didn’t bother arguing. “But I don’t wanna choose him, that’s just it. I don’t wanna choose at all. I can’t choose, I–“

“Han–“

“I _can’t_ choose, Cheol.” Jeonghan repeated, looking back at him now with eyes full of hurt and quivering lips. “It’s not right, it should be so easy. It should be you, and it is you, but now it’s also him, and it’s not— It’s not fair, to either of you. It’s fucking selfish.” He laughed dryly, rubbing his palms against his eyes. “I’m fucking selfish, and I can’t choose. And I’m so, so sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

Seungcheol acted without thinking, moving closer to the other and sliding one arm around his back while the other pulled down the boy’s hands to keep them from rubbing at his eyes. He wasn’t crying, but somehow the scene was just as heartbreaking. He was frustrated, angry at himself, it was so clear now and it hurt to watch.

“You’re not selfish, Han. You’re not.” Seungcheol rubbed at his back, pulling the boy closer against him. “If it’s so hard… Maybe you don’t have to choose” He mumbled, watching as Jeonghan shook his head lightly.

“No, you’re not just backing away to make this easier for me.” Jeonghan insisted, knowing too well of Seungcheol’s selfless nature.

“That’s not what I was going to suggest.” It was Seungcheol who wet his lips now, wondering if the idea had just struck him or if it was somehow hidden in his mind all along. “Maybe we can all, just… Not choose, together.”

It was a different frown that twisted between the other’s brows now. A confused one, Seungcheol could see. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I’m not sure.” The older confessed, taking his turn to look at the window now. “But it’s not… I mean, it’s unusual, but… I think I might like him too, you know?” Jeonghan hadn’t even said ‘liked’, but it was only at a time like this when he’d actually be able to say that without worrying about the consequences of his words. “Not as much as I like you, but maybe… Maybe it can grow into that, if we give it the chance.”

When Seungcheol looked back at the younger, he could see him looking for doubt or pity in his eyes, but this suggestion hadn’t come from either of those.

“I’m not doing this for you, Hannie.” Seungcheol clarified, knowing the other would be against that. His own hand had somehow found it’s way between the other’s shoulder blades, rubbing small comforting circles against his back. “I’m doing it for us. Or at least suggesting it, I guess.”

And Seungcheol felt the same weight that seemed to lift off the other’s shoulders leaving his as well. Perhaps it had always been there, hiding from the two, the idea that something that wasn’t even there yet could become even bigger than whatever they thought it was. It was confusing, yet so simple at the same time. It felt right.

“You think he’d go for that?” Jeonghan’s soft tone carried the same amount of doubt as it did of hope, and Seungcheol bit his lip.

“I think we can go for it either way. I wanna go for it.” The older admitted.

“Me too.” It was there again, the small smile that made all of Seungcheol’s concerns disappear.

Seungcheol found himself smiling in return, not noticing the way his other hand had laced their fingers together. But it was okay, they could be whoever they wanted right here, right now.

“You’re too fucking good, you know that?” The teasing was back in the long haired’s voice, bringing a familiar comfort to Seungcheol.

“Shut up.” The older snickered, squeezing the back of his neck playfully.

“Fine then, you’re terrible.” Jeonghan drawled, making the older chuckle a bit.

“And you’re better than you think, alright?” Seungcheol smiled warmly at Jeonghan’s surprised gaze, though he couldn’t say he didn’t like the way the other’s cheeks tinted under the moonlight.

He seemed to have something to say for a moment, though apparently he settled for something else as his smile took a softer turn. “Okay.” It was soft and almost inaudible, but it was good enough for Seungcheol. Fuck, it was better than good.

It was perfect.

 

 

——

 

_2013_

 

Mingyu should’ve known better than this. He had been there a thousand times before, he had gone through the same thing again and again, to the point where he should know by now what choice to make. Yet still, he found himself regretting his decision, staring bitterly as it sat in front of him.

“I told you to get the Creme Russi.” Wonwoo repeated in his ‘I told you so’ tone, which Mingyu did not appreciate.

“I wanted to try the Mango Meltdown!” The taller defended, now stubbornly stabbing the bright orange ice cream with his pathetic little plastic spoon.

“Do you even like Mango?” Jihoon questioned.

“I don’t _hate_ it.”

“Hyung, I don’t hate broccoli but I’m not exactly making ice cream out of it.” Dino pointed out, helpful as always.

The four of them sat by a round table underneath a tree that so generously protected them from the scorching sun. It wasn’t easy to get it, they had to fight off a horde of pigeons that were feeding off some leftover fries under the benches, but it was worth the fight.

“Shouldn’t you be at school or something?” Mingyu scowled at the boy devouring his vanilla and chocolate cone.

“It’s sport’s day today.” Chan replied before sticking out his now brown tinged tongue.

Ah, yes, sports day. The day every school had to ‘ _promote healthy bonding through friendly competition’_ when it was actually just an excuse to cut class and get away with it.

“Shouldn’t you be competing, then?” Jihoon raised a brow, already almost done with his ice cream cup. Mingyu couldn’t remember what flavor he got, but it still looked better than the transgenic orange that was now melting in his own cup.

“Says the guy who prescribed himself off of gym classes for like six months.”

“Remind me not to tell Soonyoung anything anymore.” The hacker muttered, now scraping the sides of his paper cup to get whatever was left of his ice cream.

“Okay, start by not telling him we came here without him otherwise he’ll whine about it for days.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes just from the thought of it.

“It’s his own fault. I invited him, but he insisted on beating Sam on Wii Sports.” Mingyu provided, finally giving up and pushing his ice cream aside. Maybe it would serve as dessert for the pigeons later. A truce among two species.

“You telling me Samuel didn’t go to Sport Day to stay home and play Wii Sports?” Jihoon raised a skeptical brow.

“Believe me, the irony didn’t escape me, but I could either stay there and argue or come and get ice cream.”

“Ice cream you didn’t eat.” Wonwoo put not one bit gently.

“Thank you for reminding me.” Mingyu’s voice dripped in sarcasm as he stared at his friend.

“You’re welcome.” Wonwoo replied nonchalantly, eating another spoon of his chocolate cup.

“You could get another one, hyung’s still there.” Chan reasoned, showing he still had at least some sympathy in himself, unlike his older friends.

“What are they doing there, anyway?” Jihoon was was referring to Seungcheol and Jeonghan, who seemed to be picking their own ice creams yet again.

“Jeonghan-hyung wanted another cup.” Chan provided helpfully, licking his lips messily as he finally finished his sweet dessert.

Mingyu wasn’t paying attention at the younger’s mess, though. His eyes were still aimed at the two oldest members, brows pulling together in a tell-tale question.

“What is it?” Wonwoo asked, because of course, he knew him better than anyone else.

“Nothing, just…” Mingyu pursed his lips, wondering if he should really speak out what was running through his mind. “Can I ask you guys something?” He eyed the rest of them, especially Jihoon and Chan. They both seemed a bit confused, but nodded nonetheless. “Does Seungcheol-hyung owe Jeonghan-hyung or something?”

“What do you mean?” Chan questioned, his thick brows pulling closer together. “Cheol-hyung doesn’t owe him anything. Not that I know of, at least.” And it was left implicit that he would know, if that was the case.

“I don’t know, just, Cheol-hyung is always buying him stuff?” Mingyu pointed out. It was something he had noticed for a while now. Whenever Jeonghan asked for something, Seungcheol would buy it for him. Maybe he’d whine a bit, or at most ask him if he really wanted it, but he’d never tell him no.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with it.” The taller clarified, shrugging a bit. “Just, everyone gets the same share, right? Even if it’s not much.” He didn’t want to sound like he was accusing Jeonghan of anything, because that was the last thing he was doing. Despite their contrasting personalities, the older had been nothing but embracing the minute he joined the group.

He was just… Curious. And catching a glance at Wonwoo now, he could see his friend shared the same curiosity, even if he didn’t show it as much. Or didn’t dare to voice it out.

Jihoon and Chan eyed each other than, as if considering something. What? Mingyu had no idea. But they looked somewhat uneasy, like children wondering if they’d get scolded for eating the freshly-baked cookies.

“We all get the same share, yeah.” Jihoon finally spoke out, making sure the oldest two were still far and occupied before looking back at Mingyu. “It’s just that Jeonghan-hyung sends his to his family.”

“Oh.” Mingyu blinked, not having considered that option. And now he felt kind of shitty for not having considered it, though he figured he deserved it. Jeonghan didn’t really mention his family much, so he had no idea what they were going through. “Does he need help?” He wondered with a frown, because as much as Mingyu hated bringing money into friendships he’d give him more in a heartbeat if his friend needed it.

“Nah, they’re not poor, they’re just… In a difficult situation, kinda.” Jihoon explained, and Mingyu had a feeling that was the most he’d get out of him about that. That was okay though, it was enough for him. “Plus, I’m pretty sure if you even bring that idea up to him he’ll maim you.”

“So he gives part of his money to them?” Wonwoo wondered now, to which the other hacker shook his head.

“He gives all of it.”

Well, that left them awe-struck, if Mingyu could tell by the way Wonwoo’s eyes grew bigger and his own chin dropped a bit. Jeonghan was giving all of his money away? It wasn’t like they were making much, either, especially split between them.

“Trust me, whatever you’re thinking, we’ve told him already.” Jihoon sighed, shrugging as if he’s had that conversation before. “He insists on it, though, and it’s his money, so.”

“But he doesn’t mind it as much when you buy him stuff. Not when he asks.” Chan promptly explained. “I think it doesn’t feel like charity in that case, I don’t know. Cheol-hyung already said it isn’t about charity, anyway.” He hummed around the plastic spoon, now chewing on it uselessly.

“What’s it about, then?” Mingyu wondered.

“I think hyung feels like it’s a way of taking care of him.” The younger shrugged, finally dropping that deformed bitten spoon.

Yet even so, Mingyu couldn’t even pay attention to the other’s gross habit, and that was because his words stayed with him.

Seungcheol taking care of Jeonghan.

Neither of them had much. Fuck, they barely had anything. The apartment they all lived in was not made for so many people, their clothes were shared and clearly had been worn by strangers before, and they did a less than legal job and didn’t always get paid. Yet they looked after each other like family.

Mingyu already knew that, he had known since he joined them, but that didn’t mean it didn’t surprise him. He had been brought up in a world where people had everything, even more than they needed, and they were so petty with their money and their things. And then there were them. These kids giving away what they didn’t even have to make each other happier.

“Here you go.”

Mingyu blinked, looking at the off-white ice cream with little crunchy chocolate pieces that sat in front of him in a purple paper cup. In his daze, the taller hadn’t even realized the two had returned, Jeonghan sitting next to him with the leader by his other side.

“Creme Russi, right?” Jeonghan spoke again, holding his own ice cream cup as that was filled with dark chocolate.

“…Yeah.” Mingyu nodded, dumbfounded. “But why—“

“I knew you’d regret your pick. Come on, Mango Meltdown?” The older chuckled, apparently not too surprised by Mingyu’s lack of eloquence.

“He says he doesn’t _hate_ mango, so he wanted to try it.” Wonwoo teased, getting yet another glare from the younger.

“Shut up.” The taller mumbled, though Jeonghan only seemed to laugh louder.

On the table, Seungcheol placed a plastic bag with what seemed like a tub of ice cream, though Mingyu wouldn’t read the flavor through the white plastic.

“What’s that?” Chan wondered, his spoon broken in little pieces because apparently the younger couldn’t have anything in his hands without tearing it apart at some point. His usual victims were paper cupholders, though.

“Some for the guys, since they didn’t come.” The leader explained. “We asked them to pick a flavor but Samuel wanted bubblegum, which is not entering our house, and Soonyoung wanted us to list all of them. Shua picked chocolate though, so we went with that.”

“What about Junnie?” Wonwoo frowned a bit.

“Couldn’t reach him.”

“I say we eat it all before we get there.” Jihoon offered, though Mingyu knew it was more out of saltiness than actually wanting more ice cream. The taller didn’t argue though, eating his own Creme Russi with contempt.

“That’s what I said, but Cheollie said it’s too mean.” Jeonghan smirked, nudging the leader with a shit-eating grin. Or in his case, his usual grin.

“You’re a menace.” The oldest scowled, to which now the rest of the table smiled as well.

“I don’t know.” Mingyu spoke out, licking his now sweet lips. “I think hyung’s pretty cool.” He smiled, getting a surprise look from the oldest two. Jeonghan soon flashed him a thankful smile though, that quickly turned into a smug one once he looked back at Seungcheol, elbowing him.

“See, I’m cool?” He gloated, the leader’s expression growing less and less patient.

“Shut up.”

 

 

——

 

  

“Hoshi, Jun, are you in position?” Seungcheol faked a cough to conceal his lips, trying to keep a discrete profile. The restaurant had more customers than they expected, which was kind of good to keep hide what was going on behind the kitchen, but it made it even more of a pain to make one’s self blend in.

“We’re set.” The thief answered quietly, proving he was probably in no position to talk right now.

They had been working on the kitchen, or pretending to, only to have a privileged access to the backroom hidden behind a fake stove. Pretending was the right word, given that the first day in Soonyoung had almost gotten himself fired for nearly burning down the actual working stove. Thankfully, both him and Junhui knew how to be very convincing, and the kitchen was in desperate need of staff. Due to that, the two of them could monitor the less than legal activities that happened in the hidden room, which usually consisted in illegal trades and some gambling.

“Make sure Han and Gyu get in, and try not to leave the kitchen afterwards.” The leader guided, knowing it was best they stay close to the other two in case something went down.

Seungcheol himself was monitoring everything from the bar, dressed in a dark suit Mingyu had lent him that fit a bit too loosely on him. Still, they found a way to make it work.

“Going in.” Jeonghan whispered, right before some odd static noise interrupted them.

“Woozi, what was that?” Seungcheol quickly questioned, eyes darting around the room to see anything out of the ordinary.

“Looks like it was just static, Coups, but I’m looking into it. Is everyone still on? Hum if you can’t talk.”

Seungcheol listened to the replies and counted the hums, sighing in relief once all of them had made themselves be known. “Alright, go through with it. Woozi, keep me noted if anything else happens.” The leader ordered, getting an agreeing hum in return.

In his worry, the male hadn’t even noticed the woman gracefully sitting on the stool next to him. It was only when she spoke that he finally looked at her.

“Two martini’s, please.” She wore a long dark dress, that seemed to have a navy tone to it that only showed under the gentle light of the room. Her voice sounded as beautiful as she looked, strong but graceful, smooth but with an edge to it.

“I-I’m sorry, you must have the wrong guy.” Seungcheol couldn’t believe he fucking stuttered, but in no way a woman like that would have any business with him.

First of all, she looked older. Not that she had any wrinkles on her, of course not. She just carried herself in a way that owned the room, posture straight and smile enticing. Second of all, Seungcheol wasn’t sure she was even human. Maybe a demi-god, or a goddess even, because never in his life had he seen anyone like her.

“I highly doubt that.” She grinned, taking her glass as soon as it touched the table. “It’s better to hide your lips with a drink, brings less attention to yourself than coughing.”

Oh, of course.

Wait, what?

“Calm down. If I were to blow your cover I would’ve already done it.” The woman reassured him, though despite her charming smile Seungcheol felt anything but calm. “Coups, right?”

The younger gulped quietly, fingers twitching against his own glass now. Was there even a point in lying? The woman clearly seemed to know more than him, and right now he was just trying not to look as freaked out as he felt. Damn, he should’ve taken those acting classes from Jeonghan.

“S.Coups.” The boy corrected uselessly.

“Coups, what’s going on? Who’s the lady?” If he didn’t know Jihoon well enough he’d fail to spot the concern in his voice.

“S.Coups, of course, I apologize.” She smiled for the mistake, giving a small but gallant nod.

“Who are you?” He frowned slightly, not allowing her charm to distract him from the fact that the woman clearly knew more than she should.

“Ah, where are my manners?” The stranger hummed, bowing her head gently. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, S.Coups. You can call me Kahi.”

Wait—

“K-Kahi?!” Seungcheol stuttered yet again, making even a bigger fool of himself, if that was even possible.

“Wait, Kahi?” Jihoon echoed, sounding as outraged as Seungcheol felt. “The Kahi? Is she for real?!”

“Who the hell is Kahi?” Wonwoo questioned, lost in the midst of it all.

“Only one of the biggest fucking masterminds of all time.” Jihoon blurted out, and yeah, that pretty much summed up Kahi.

“Awh, that’s flattering, thank you.” The woman chuckled lightly, surprising Seungcheol once again. And this time he definitely failed to act otherwise, given she seemed to read his confusion. “Sorry, couldn’t resist eavesdropping.” She tapped her left ear lightly.

“Wait, so it was you who—“

“Shh.” She placed a finger over her lips in a hush, before giving a wink. “Just a little help from one of the girls. Let’s keep it between us, alright?” The woman asked, in a tone low enough that Seungcheol was sure the rest of them wouldn’t hear.

So she could hear them, but they couldn’t hear her. Seungcheol didn’t know how the hell he should feel by now. However, if there was one thing in common between all stories about her, it was that she worked for the same cause as them. She worked to help.

“Sorry, it’s not everyday you meet someone of your calibre.” Seungcheol pointed out, finally finding in himself the courage to smirk.

“Nonsense. We were all beginners at some point, weren’t we?” The older reasoned, her grin seeming to take a warmer turn.

“So what are you doing here? If you don’t mind me asking.” Seungcheol wondered, lifting his glass to take a sip of the drink. He kept his lips from twisting too much, but he failed to keep the distaste for that particular alcohol out of his face, given by the way she chuckled at him. “Checking out the competition?”

“We were all beginners at some point, but you’re a fool if you believe you’re already at the same level as us, darling.” Kahi smirked, her tone sending a chill down his back. Damn, she knew what she was doing, whatever that was. “No, no, truth is we had this place marked for a while now. We weren’t expecting anyone else to come for it.”

“Should I apologize?” The younger raised a brow, though she quickly shook her head with an amused hum.

“Not at all. I believe it was a fortunate mistake.” Kahi admitted, wetting her lips with the strong drink. “What do they call it? Serendipity?”

“So you _wanted_ to meet us?” Seungcheol wondered.

“Well, we had heard of a small group doing quite a bit of noise around.” The boy didn’t know why he was so flustered at the somewhat compliment, but he also felt a burst of pride within him. “So we got curious, I suppose. It always nice you know, to look into those things, see who is on your side, who you can trust.”

“I thought you couldn’t trust anyone.” Seungcheol blinked, yet again surprised by the other’s words. “Not in this business, at least.”

“That’s what everybody says, isn’t it?” The older hummed, nursing the drink between her fingers so gently it almost looked like a painting. “I suppose that’s a reasonable ideology, but it won’t get you far.”

“How so?” The younger frowned, intrigued by what she had to say.

“Not trusting anyone, faking relationships, distancing yourself, it’s how it works in movies, books, even in the business.” Kahi mused out, the liquid in her glass swirling gently. “But I found that the turth is the exact opposite of that.”

Seeing Seungcheol’s confused frown still hadn’t softened, the woman continued with a gentle smile.

“Pushing people away it’s useless. I found that surrounding yourself with people you know you can trust is what truly matters.” She hummed, setting her drink down.

“But isn’t that dangerous?”

“This business is already dangerous. It is foolish to think you’re immune simply because you don’t build relationships.” The older reasoned, shaking her head lightly. “At the end of the day, when you’re in trouble, the people you pushed away won’t come for you. No matter how much they owe you, how much money you offer, if it’s too dangerous for them, they won’t find it worth the risk.” She pointed out, staring him straight in the eye now. “It’s the people you trust who will come when you call. It’s the ones who trust you.”

And suddenly, it all made sense. Not that Seungcheol had really stopped to think about it before, but if there ever was a doubt about what they were doing, it suddenly cleared. And he could hear her words still echoing in his mind, the importance of surrounding yourself in people you could trust. And once again, it became easy to read the realization in his expression, the woman sharing another warm smile before sliding off the stool as swiftly as she had joined him before.

“Though I’m sure you already knew that, somewhere inside you.” Kahi granted, slipping some bills onto the counter.

“How can you be so sure?” Seungcheol wondered, genuinely curious.

“We’re not that different, Choi Seungcheol.” The woman slipped his real name with one last teasing grin before turning to make her leave. “Good luck on your endeavors tonight, we’ll keep an eye on you.”

And with that, she had disappeared into the crowd, leaving Seungcheol even more confused than before she arrived. Part of him wondered if it had all actually happened, or if he had somehow fallen asleep on the bar and deamt it all up.

“Coups, you there?” Woozi called, bringing Seungcheol back to reality once again.

“Yeah, I’m here.” The older cleared his throat, trying to sound more stable than he felt. “It’s fine, she didn’t mean any harm. She just wanted to talk.”

“About what?” The hacker questioned.

“Just some advices.” The leader reasoned, ignorant to his own small smile forming.

 

 

——

 

_2015_

 

Okay, contrary to what Chan would tell everyone, Hansol _did not_ suck at video games. He beat his friends back at home all the time. Maybe he did get his ass beaten once or twice by his sister on Smash Bros, but that was only because she always picked those damn ice climbers and somehow actually made them work despite how useless they were. Not to mention there were two of those tiny little shits, it wasn’t exactly fair.

But that wasn’t the point.

The point was, Hansol did not suck at video games. And to prove that, the boy had been spending the last two hours trying to break Jihoon’s record on a racing game he couldn’t even remember the name. The hacker owned the top spot, followed by Chan, Seungcheol, and now Hansol. He had already beaten Mingyu’s score, so at least he was climbing his way up.

That was when Minghao decided to join him in the living room, standing around as if searching for something.

“Hey, have you seen Jun?”

Or someone.

“No, not since breakfast at least.” Hansol shrugged, feeling the couch dip a bit as the older sat by the other end of it. “Tried calling him?”

“It’s nothing urgent.” The younger could see the taller shrugging by the corner of his eye. “I texted him, but I think he might be busy.”

Hansol hummed in comprehension, keeping his eyes on the screen as he tried to make it back to first place on the current race. “I’m sure he’ll answer when he sees it.”

“Yeah.” It was short and it sounded a bit awkward, but the shorter was kind of used to that.

They were all still trying to figure the boy out. Minghao wasn’t someone incredibly social, like Seungkwan or even Hansol himself. He had gotten incredibly close to the other Chinese member in the short time he had joined, but he still seemed somewhat guarded when it came to the rest of them.

Hansol wasn’t sure if it it was the language barrier or something else. He knew Minghao wasn’t as fluent as Junhui just yet, but he sounded just fine to him. And of course, there was the whole aspect of joining a bunch of people you’ve never seen before in illegal endeavors and all that. That could shake someone up.

Either way, the younger didn’t take it personally. He wasn’t exactly a great people reader, but Minghao seemed like a chill guy, he probably just needed time, and Hansol was cool with that.

“Aish— Seriously, I swear Jihoon-hyung used a bug or something on this.” Hansol complained as he failed to break any records this time, the other next to him only giving out a small amused hum.

However, now that the younger’s eyes weren’t so focused on the tv, he could properly take him in. Like said, Hansol didn’t know him that well yet, but the current sight didn’t sit well with him.

Minghao’s skin looked a bit paler than usual, the rim of his eyes a bit red. If he had to guess, Hansol would say the boy had been staring at a screen for too long, or was getting motion sickness from a long road trip. Of course, neither of those were likely at the moment.

So something was wrong, that much he could tell. The thing was, Hansol wasn’t exactly the most insightful guy. Maybe nothing had happened. Maybe Minghao just had a bad night of sleep, maybe he had allergies. Or maybe even Hansol was just seeing things. But something in his gut told him that something was wrong.

If he was like Jeonghan or Seungkwan, he’d find a smart way to bring up the subject. Something completely unrelated that somehow got people to open up. However, he was neither of them, and he lacked both their empathetic qualities. So Hansol went with his own approach.

“What’s wrong?” He asked bluntly, with a curious stare.

“Uh?” Minghao looked away from the paused screen, a confused frown over his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Hansol shrugged. “You just kinda look like shit, so I assumed something was on your mind or something.”

The frown seemed to deepen then. “Wow, thanks.”

“No, wait, I didn’t mean it like that—“ Alright, maybe his approach wasn’t as good as Seungkwan’s or Jeonghan’s. “Sorry.” He smiled apologetically. “I just mean you look like something’s bothering you, so I don’t know…”

Minghao looked away at that, pressing his lips together. He looked as if he was considering something, maybe whether he should talk or not.

“I know I’m not Jun-hyung, but I can try to help too.” Hansol offered along with an encouraging smile. “And I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

The older looked back at him then, seeming a bit confused, which honestly looked kind of funny on him. He refrained from laughing, though.

“Have you ever…” The taller wet his lips, weighing his words. “Just, do you ever remember something you regret doing?”

Hansol blinked at that, a bit surprised the other was actually making an effort. Instead of making a big deal out of it, he simply nodded, cringing at the mere memory of it. “Yeah, all the time. I remember this one time in 5th grade, I called the teacher mom in the middle of the class and it just haunts me until today.”

Minghao actually laughed at that. Okay, maybe not laughed, but definitely chuckled, clearly amused. And Hansol didn’t even worry about being embarrassed, because it was kinda worth it.

“That sounds awful, but it’s not really what I meant.” Minghao admitted, and Hansol wondered if he’d have to ask the other to explain or if he’d do it on his own. “I meant… Like, have you ever done something bad? Something you knew it was bad, or maybe you didn’t know, but you did it anyway.”

“Oh.” The younger blinked once again, this time nodding a bit less quickly. “Mmh, I’m not happy about it, but yeah.” He could see in the other’s eyes that he wanted him to continue, so he did. “I remember this one time, when I was hanging out with a good friend of mine after class, and we were eating, right? And for dessert I had this chocolate bar, and he wanted a piece of it, and I said no ‘cause I thought the bar was too small, ya know? But anyway, he stole like this tiny little piece, it was nothing. But I got so angry that I hit him in the stomach, and he dropped the piece.” The younger found himself frowning at the memory.

“Did you guys stay friends?” The Chinese wondered, softening Hansol’s frown a bit.

“Yeah. I mean, we fought at the time and he went home, but the next day we kinda forgot it had even happened, anyway, so we let it go.” The shorter explained with a small shrug. “But I still hate that I did that, you know? Like that was a really shitty thing to do.”

“Yeah, I know.” Minghao nodded, pushing his hair back. He seemed different now. Less… Guarded.

“Do you have something you regret too?” Hansol wondered carefully, though the other only snickered.

“If we’re gonna get into that it’ll take us a week.” As amused as he sounded, Hansol couldn’t really smile at that. “But it’s not… It’s just one thing that I… It just comes back to me, you know?”

The younger nodded a bit, humming softly. “It’s okay, everyone’s done bad stuff they regret.”

“This isn’t just punching your friend over candy, ‘Sol.” It was the first time he had heard the nickname coming from the other, but the low tone that it accompanied was anything but comforting. “What I did, it’s not… Forgivable.”

“How do you know?” Hansol wondered. “Have you tried apologizing?”

A bitter smirk took over the other’s lips as he looked back at him. “I can’t, not anymore.”

“But you are sorry, right?” The younger questioned, and it was just a short moment before the other nodded quietly. “Then it’s okay. We all do bad things when we’re kids, hyung, because we don’t know any better. It doesn’t excuse what we did, sure, but we shouldn’t agonize over it. We can’t do the right thing if we don’t know the wrong thing.”

“But I should’ve known.” Minghao insisted, brows furrowing. “And it keeps coming back to me, but at the same time how could I forget about it? I shouldn’t, even. I shouldn’t get to just pretend it never happened when I hurt someone.”

“It’s not forgetting about it. It’s embracing it and moving on. It’s fair to judge yourself over one mistake you did in the past.”

“But—“ Before the older could continue, Hansol quickly leaned over to flick his forehead. “Ow! What was that for?!”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past.” The younger recited, sitting back on his seat.

“But it—“ Minghao frowned as he rubbed his forehead. “Wait, are you quoting The Lion King on me?”

“Well, I was, until you ruined it.” Hansol frowned as well, disappointed his plan didn’t work. “But he had a point, you know? The monkey.”

“Rafiki?”

“Yeah, him.” Hansol waved him off. “You can’t change what’s in the past, and you can’t run from it either. You can just accept it.” He sighed then, pushing his brown hair back. “Look, I don’t know what you did, and you don’t need to tell me, it’s okay. But it doesn’t matter what happened. What matters is that right now, you know what you did was wrong. It’s good that you feel ashamed of bad things, but you can’t let it dictate who you are right now. Admitting you were wrong, accepting it, and making sure you don’t do it again, that’s the right thing to do.” Hansol smiled softly once again, noticing how the other’s expression cleared up a bit. “That’s how you grow.”

Minghao didn’t seem to have anything to say to that, perhaps still taking all of the words in. And even if he did wish to say something, they were both soon interrupted by the front door opening, both of them looking over to see who had returned.

“Hyung!” Hansol called out while Jun took off his shoes, carrying in two plastic bags and gently kicking the door closed behind him. “Where have you been?”

“Grocery shopping.” Jun explained as he approached the two on the couch, raising the bags as if to show the evidence.

“For two hours?” Hansol frowned a bit in confusion.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Hansolie. Who goes grocery shopping for two hours?” Junhui frowned in return, Minghao only gracing them with a chuckle, clearly already used to the older’s antics.

“But you said—“

“You still haven’t beaten Jihoonie’s score?” Junhui wondered as he looked at the screen, which was still showing the latest podium. “Eeh, Hansolie, in that pace it’ll take you a week.” The taller tsk’d, opening a bag of gummy works from one of the grocery bags.

Hansol elbowed him with a frown. “Shut up and just hand me one.” He replied grumpily, ignoring the other two sniggering at his discontent.

“Ah, Hao, did you text me?” Jun wondered out loud now as he went through his phone, eyes widening a bit. Hansol was surprised he hadn’t seen it earlier, given the older was practically glued to his phone. “I’m sorry, didn’t you need anything?” The apologetic look in his eyes didn’t lack any sincerity.

“I did, but…” Minghao dared glancing at Hansol, smiling softly. “It’s okay, I already took care of it.”

Hansol found himself smiling in return, oblivious to the confused bow in the middle.

“Ah, good, then.” Junhui cheered instead, showing a toothy grin before grabbing a handful of the colorful candy. “Come on, Hansolie, I wanna see you beat that record.”

The youngest picked the remote once again, looking back at the screen. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure it was possible to break that record by now. But it didn’t matter much, anyway. Hansol had already done one thing he thought impossible today. That had to count for something, right?

 

 

——

 

_\-- / 01 / 2013_

  

Jisoo ran as fast as he could from the bust stop to the guys’ apartment. Granted, he wasn’t exactly in his best athletic shape, or even close to that, but he found that with motivation he was able to reach his destination in half the time that it usually took him.

Today’s motivation had been a text. A short text that read something in the lines of ‘ _I kinda need medical attention_ ’. Honestly, Jisoo only needed to read those two latter words to rush out his class that was thankfully nearly over. And it was only because Seungcheol was never the one who texted about those things. It was usually Jihoon or Jeonghan, who nagged the older about the importance of taking care of himself. So if Seungcheol was the one to reach him this time, it could only mean he was either badly hurt or alone. Or both.

Jisoo didn’t like any of those options.

So when he burst the front door open, panting and unweaving the scarf around his neck, he quickly scanned the tiny apartment, searching for any signs of the other. No lights were on, given it was the middle of the morning and there was enough sunlight to provide a pleasant atmosphere. Or it would be pleasant, if Jisoo wasn’t having an internal panic attack at the moment. He almost stumbled out of his shoes once he realized Seungcheol was right there, slumped on the couch with his elbows in his knees and his head a bit low.

“Cheol, fuck,” Jisoo rushed over, clearly assuming the worse. “What happened? Are you okay?” He kneeled in front of the other, cupping his cheeks and looking at the bruises blooming on his skin. One under his right eye, a nastier one on his jaw, and a cut on his right cheekbone.

Seungcheols eyes widened a bit, as if he wasn’t really expecting the other to come. Jisoo couldn’t say that didn’t make the sight even more hurtful. Still, the older quickly shook his head, pulling back a bit. “It’s not as bad as it seems—“

“Shut up, you got a black eye and a cut, what the hell?” Jisoo scowled, hands now pushing the other’s hair back and pulling the neck of his shirt down a bit, looking for other possible injuries. “Where else are you hurt? Where are the others?”

“It looks worse than—“ The eldest stopped himself once he saw Jisoo’s look of ‘ _if you try that one more time I’m taping your mouth shut_ ’. So he sighed instead, showing him his hands with bloody knuckles. “The kids are at school, Soonyoung went out to train with Hoonie spotting him, and Han’s getting groceries.”

“So this wasn’t planned?” Jisoo assumed, because they would never let him go on a job alone. ‘Job’, he still found it weird how they could even call it that. No one was paying them. They were doing these things, risking themselves for no other reason than helping. Sure, maybe Jisoo shouldn’t be the one to judge, given his major, but there was still an uncomfortable knot twisting in his stomach whenever he thought about it.

“What’d you do?” He asked then, urging the other to take off his sweatshirt while ignoring his momentary flustered expression. When he finally pulled the sweatshirt over his head and exposed his torso, Jisoo could spot purples and yellows under his skin, but thankfully nothing too dangerous, from what he could tell.

“You make it sound like it was my fault.” Seungcheol protested, getting an accusing glare in return. “It wasn’t!” He insisted. “I just saw these guys roughing some kids up for money. I’d seen them around before, and I don’t know, it kinda annoyed me to let them go again.”

Jisoo groaned quietly, expression twisting into an almost tired one as this had not been the first time something like this had happened. “Guys? More than one, Cheol? Seriously?”

“It was just two!” Seungcheol almost pouted in protest. “The third one ran away—“

The younger groaned yet again, wondering how many times he’d have to have this conversation. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood for it now, so he figured he could get working on the bruises first.

“Imma go get the—“

“I got it right here.” Seungcheol handed him the first aid kit, that had been resting next to him on the couch. Jisoo had been so busy with the older he hadn’t even noticed it.

Shifting, the student pushed himself up and pulled the coffee table closer to where the other boy sat, so he could sit in front of him. He placed the kit by his right side on the wooden surface, opening it up to grab the bottle of alcohol and some soothing ointment he had bought for them a while back.

The relief that had settled between them once he realized Seungcheol was okay had been quietly replaced with tension, the apartment turning even quieter than he thought possible. He didn’t know what would be worse, the silence or the unavoidable conversation. So he tried to go for a third alternative.

“Why didn’t you call Jeonghan?” He kept his eyes low as he wet the cotton balls with alcohol, hoping to avoid the other’s eyes as he reached for his left hand. The second oldest was capable enough of doing what he had to do right now, and no doubt he’d drop his groceries in a heartbeat.

“I didn’t wanna worry him.”

 _But it’s okay to worry me?_ Jisoo bit his tongue instead of asking that. It was not his place.

“He’s gonna find out eventually, you know?” The younger pointed out instead as he gently wiped the blood of his knuckles, the other’s fingers twitching slightly in his hold, showing his discomfort. “There’s only so much I can do. I’m a med student, not a wizard.”

There was a shade of a chuckle there, not enough to lift the tension but enough to make Jisoo hold the other’s hand more properly. “Yeah I know, I just wanted to look a bit less roughed up so when he sees me he doesn’t—“

“Kill you?” Jisoo offered, taking the other’s hand.

“I was going to say nag me for a week, but honestly, what’s the difference?” The younger risked looking up to see the other smirking now, returning his expression with a small grin of his own. “It’s not like I’d hide it from him anyway. We shouldn’t hide that kinda thing.”

Jisoo wet his lips at that last comment, and hoped his momentary lapse in treating the other’s injuries hadn’t sold him out. Because truth was, not too long ago he had found Jeonghan bearing wounds of his own, but contrary to their friend, he gave Jisoo no explanation and begged him not to tell. So instead of sparing a word, he moved onto the other hand now, grabbing fresh supplies.

“You know something I don’t know.” Seungcheol observed, and this time Jisoo managed not to pause his administrations as he cleaned the blood off the other hand.

What was he supposed to say? _Yeah, your friend kinda boyfriend but not really showed up with questionable bruises but asked me not to tell anything?_ Not to mention he had promised Jeonghan he wouldn’t tell. Even if their situation wasn’t exactly steady at the moment, he wouldn’t break that promise.

“It’s okay, I know things you don’t know either.” Seungcheol granted, and Jisoo could sense he wasn’t gloating in any sort of way. “That’s just how Hannie is. He tells people personal bits and pieces, but never the whole thing.”

Jisoo was surprised at that, because if there was anyone who should know Jeonghan’s every quirk, he’d assumed it’d be Seungcheol. “Why do you think that is?” Jisoo wondered softly, now spreading some cooling ointment over his hands before gently wrapping some of the gauze around them, only to keep the cuts and scrapes from rubbing against anything else.

“I don’t know. I think it’s a way of making sure no one knows everything about him, you know?” The oldest reasoned, his voice gentle and real. Jisoo liked that, if he could ever admit it. How familiar Seungcheol’s voice felt. “He’s been hurt a lot I guess, so I think it’s a way of protecting himself.”

“Letting people in, but not fully in.” Jisoo concluded, noticing Seungcheol nod. He now grabbed another cotton ball, damping it in alcohol to and shifting a bit closer. “Or maybe he does it because he worries about you.”

“Maybe.” Seungcheol hummed, flinching a bit once the cotton reached the cut on his cheek. “…Do you?”

“Hm?”

“Worry about me?”

Jisoo chuckled lowly, a bit incredulous, yet he didn’t raise his voice. “You’re really asking me that?” Sometimes he wanted to be like Soonyoung or Chan and just complain loudly when he was annoyed. But instead, he simply continued to clean the cut. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Mhh.” The oldest hummed in agreement, though that didn’t seem enough for him. “So why have you been avoiding us?”

Jisoo gulped quietly, pressing his lips together. Here it was, the unavoidable conversation. Sneaky bastard Seungcheol was, wasn’t he?

“Even now, you can barely look me in the eye.” And as an automatic response, Jisoo looked at him. Actually looked at him.

He looked tired, worried. His round eyes glimmered with something the younger couldn’t define, but it made that knot in his stomach twist a bit harder. Jisoo wet his lips, finding it harder now to break the stare. He had no idea what to respond to that, either. He just sucked at confrontations, and tried to postpone the inevitable.

So Jisoo gathered his strength to look away again, only to put away the cotton and grab the ointment once again. “It’s just not practical—“

“This isn’t about moving in. I respect your decision.” The elder quickly interrupted, now finding Jisoo’s eyes again. “I don’t get it it, but I respect it. Whatever your reasons are, it’s your decision. But I don’t understand why you’re avoiding us.”

“I don’t wanna hurt anyone.” Jisoo quickly blurted out, reaching over to spread the gel-like substance on the other’s bruises. However, the other stopped him by grabbing his wrist.

“Bullshit, you don’t wanna hurt yourself.” Seungcheol accused, but there was no anger in his tone. It was his ‘get real’ tone, and Jisoo had found it worked surprisingly well.

Jisoo almost grit his teeth at that, eyes turning sharper. “What’s the difference?” He mimicked the other from before, watching as his eyes widened slightly in surprise. “Newsflash, Seungcheol. Seeing you hurt hurts me too.” He admitted bitterly, feeling the other’s grip loosen.

And for a moment, they just stayed like that. Jisoo’s hand in the air, but not yet touching him. Seungcheol’s eyes burning into his, as if looking for something. The oldest was the one without a shirt, yet they were both exposed. Far too exposed for Jisoo’s taste.

So the older tried to resume what he was doing, with whatever was left of his dignity as he gently rubbed the ointment into the other’s bruised skin, not noticing how close to him he had gotten. He ran his fingers over his slightly dry skin, spreading the ointment under his eye, then over his jaw. When he finally got to the cut, he found himself cupping the other’s cheek gently, his thumb rubbing extra carefully now back and forth over the red line. Once, twice… More times than Jisoo cared to count. Maybe even more times than necessary.

In his ministrations, he barely noticed Seungcheol grabbing his other hand, but he didn’t fight it either. The elder had gotten into enough fights for a day, anyway.

“What are you so scared of, Shua?” He whispered softly, once again looking right through him. The younger’s hand on his cheek stuttered, yet he managed not to pull away, not yet.

“I’m not, I just…” He sighed softly, lowering his eyes a bit. Right there he could see it, the scar on the other’s abs. A memory from the first day they met, imprinted on his skin. “I don’t know what you two have, Cheol, but there’s no place for me in it.”

He dared to look into the other’s eyes again once he spoke the truth, only to see them hurting now. “Why not?”

Jisoo couldn’t help but smile a bit at that, though he wasn’t mocking the other. It was just hard to believe him. “I just know how these things go, Cheol. At some point, someone will have to choose. And you two… I know it won’t be me.” Because it was never him.

“How do you know?” Seungcheol frowned a bit. “How can you be so sure? Why can’t it be all of us?” The oldest suggested with so much hope, he sounded like a child writing a letter to Santa. Jisoo felt the other’s hand on his cheek as well, almost melting against the fresh gauze. Fuck, whatever plans he had made to protect himself were apparently not working.

“All of us? That’s just mental, Cheol.” Jisoo scoffed quietly, trying to get a grip on himself not to let him see how much this was affecting him. “How would that ever work?”

He could see the other’s lips parting to answer, could feel the grip on his hand grow a little tighter. But before Seungcheol could speak, the sound of the front door opening came between them, properly pushing them apart.

Jisoo was quick to put everything away back in the box, gathering the used cottons and whatever else was dirty to dispose of them later.

“Hyung!” Soonyoung greeted him cheerfully as he entered the apartment, followed by a grumpy looking Jihoon. “What’s up?”

“Hey Soon, not much.” He mustered his best, warmest smile, and apparently it worked. “Just helping Cheol out with some stuff.”

“Awesome! Are you staying for lunch? We just texted Jeonghan-hyung, he’s planning on pasta!” He practically cheered once again, his eyes squinting up in symmetrical angles that never failed to look cute.

“I don’t think so. I got some studying to do so I really gotta get going.” The older smiled apologetically, for once thanking his choice of major and the ever valid excuse that he always had to study.

“You sure? You can stay if you want.” It was Seungcheol’s voice now that called for him, and as he looked back he was glad to see the boy had at least put his sweatshirt back on.

He did, he wanted to stay. He wanted to talk to Soonyoung and Jihoon, he wanted to hang out with Jeonghan and Seungcheol, he wanted things to go back to how they were once again. But he knew that the more he postponed this decision, the more he allowed himself to pretend nothing was going on, the more it’d hurt him later.

“I’m sorry,” Jisoo looked into the other’s eyes as he spoke, hoping he’d believe him, because at least that much was true. “But I really gotta study.” He smiled small, wrapping his scarf around himself and waving the rest of them goodbye before putting his shoes back on and stepping out the door.

Whatever plans he had made to protect himself were definitely not working.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS AND EVERYTHING!!
> 
> I know I've been absent for like over two weeks, but it's only because the first week I was far too busy to write and then the next one I was just still figuring out what I wanted to show next, etc etc. But then I started writing and it somehow turned into this huge fucking thing that is nearly 10k so I'm sorry. It was totally not intentional but if you wish to think of it as my way of making it up to you for taking so long then I won't stop you-
> 
> Also, as I mentioned before I thought of writing a college/powers au, and given the ideas for it won't leave my mind I am more accepting of the fact that I'll probably write it. No promises though.  
> With that being said, I was wondering if the ones interested would like something like this, with one big fic and a bunch of stuff happening, or a serious or more focused/smaller fics, because I don't really have one main plot for it, just a bunch of smaller ones focused on certain characters.  
> Although I don't love the idea of splitting it all up because I am NOT organized, I think it might fit better with the story and make it not so morose, idk. I'd like your opinions on it if you're interested.
> 
> Anyway, as always, don't be afraid to let me know if you spot a typo or something! I always reread before posting, but something always slips by-
> 
> And please feel free to let me know what you think of the fic! Reading your comments gives me such motivation, I actually spend hours rereading them sometimes and actually feel inspired afterwards <3


	28. We both need the same thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then tell us about it.” Mingyu suggested, squeezing the younger’s hand.
> 
> “It’s hard.” Minghao confessed weakly.
> 
> “Why?” The older thief questioned.
> 
> “Because it hurts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been told I apologize too much so instead I'll say thank you for waiting ages for this.
> 
> Hopefully it's not too disappointing-

 

Jeonghan hated confrontation. Anyone who knew him knew at least that much about him. He hated arguments, discussions. If possible, he’d either ignore all his problems or resolve them with pranks. And most of the time, it worked. Unfortunately, most of the time wasn’t all of the time.

And this time, Jeonghan was running out of patience. So if he’d have to resort to confrontation, he would. And if he had to corner Jisoo to get him to talk to them, he would do that as well.

That’s why he convinced Seungcheol to trade shifts and stay in with him that Wednesday morning. Because Jisoo didn’t have class during that period, and he usually stopped by to see how things were going. It was also not hard to get the rest of the guys out of the house. Only a small talk with Jihoon was enough to get the hacker’s help.

And now Jeonghan waited, standing in the living room tapping his foot while Seungcheol sat on the couch. He wasn’t for it, Seungcheol was never a big fan of pushing people against the wall, but at least he agreed that they needed to talk.

Like clockwork, Jisoo came in at 9:30, as he always did. The boy took his time taking off his shoes and putting away his key, still oblivious to the other two waiting for him.

“Hey, Shua.” Jeonghan called softly, though still less cheerfully than he usually did. Said boy stopped momentarily, finally spotting the other two.

“Oh,” It was quiet and surprised and perhaps a bit disappointing. “Hi.”

Silence. Heavy, deafening silence. He didn’t know how long it lasted, only that in the meantime, the three continued to exchange glances.

“Sorry, I thought Jihoon would be here.” Another lie sprouted from his lips, upsetting Jeonghan even further. He didn’t care if people lied, he lied all the time, but he cared that Jisoo thought he should lie to them.

“He’s out with Soonie today.” The second eldest explained, eyes picking up every nervous queue the other let out, from his jittering eyes to his small and unsure steps.

“Oh, alright.” The younger rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I’ll just text him them to see where we can—“

“Stay.” Jeonghan called out, a bit louder than he intended, not even knowing the word hid behind his lips before allowing it to escape. “Please?”

“Han—“

“He won’t let it go.” Seungcheol finally spoke out, looking up at the boy by the door with his fingers laced and elbows resting on his knees. “Please, Shua.”

Jeonghan could see the hesitance in the other’s twitching fingers around the knob. He knew him that well, even if they had only met months before.

“And what is ‘it’?” Jisoo asked quietly, tiredly.

“I don’t know.” The second oldest confessed, brushing his long hair back with a sigh. “But I’m not letting it go.”

It took another moment, another sigh now from the youngest, before he closed the door behind himself and joined them in the living room. He sat down on the arm chair, or dropped himself onto it, that would be more accurate. He looked tired, exhausted even, eyes a bit redder than usual and skin a bit paler.

“What is this about, Han?” Voice a bit rougher. “I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you, both of you.” He didn’t even deny it anymore, as he looked at the elder two. At least he stopped lying. “I really am.”

Jeonghan and Seungcheol eyed each other before giving the younger a nod. They forgave him. How could they not?

“But… I don’t know where you’re trying to go with this.” Jisoo hesitated once again, fingertips pressed against one another. “I don’t know anything, anymore. I don’t even know what to say, fuck—“ He chuckled dryly, pushing his brown hair back to reveal the tension in his eyes. “What do you want from me, Han?”

Fuck, if that didn’t break his heart, Jeonghan didn’t know what would. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he was sure he didn’t want this. He didn’t want to cause Jisoo this much confusion, this much pain.

“I don’t know.” He confessed quietly. “At first I just thought it’d be good, you living with us. It seemed right. And then more things seemed right, and Cheol and I thought…”

“We thought it could work.” Seungcheol continued, looking at the youngest. “The three of us, together. We thought we could try it out. We wanted to try it out, with you.”

“Try what out? Guys—“ Jisoo let out another breath as he pushed himself up off the chair, as if sitting down made him too nervous. “What is this? You can’t even say it. You don’t even know what it is, how can you say this is right?”

Alright, that was a good point. It felt horrible to hear that, but he had a right to his opinion.

“Because it does, it feels right. We can’t put a name to it because we got no fucking clue what it is.” Seungcheol wasn’t fighting, but his tone was firmer, maybe a bit louder. Perhaps he had sensed Jeonghan’s apprehension and grew protective. “But it feels right, and you know it does. You told me…”

“I didn’t tell you  _that_.” Jisoo argued, eyes a bit more frantic.

“You can’t deny there’s something between us.” Seungcheol insisted, and Jeonghan had no idea what conversation they were referring to, but he figured if neither told them, there was a reason. “I know you’re scared there’s no place for you between us, Jisoo—“

“ _Don’t_.” The younger cut in, to no avail.

“But we’re telling you there is.” Seungcheol sounded as if he was pleading now, eyes big and round.

Jeonghan stood, looking between the two. Was this what Jisoo was afraid of? Because that was what he looked like now, afraid.

“Shua,” Jeonghan called gently, hesitantly taking his hand. That seemed to snatch the boy out of his thoughts, though he almost pulled away from his grasp. Almost.

“I know it’s scary.” The long haired admitted, because yes, he was a bit scared too. And his conscience was screaming at him that this was all his fault, that if he wasn’t so damn selfish none of this would be happening, but he was shutting that out for a moment. “But we’ve done a lot of scary things for much less. Don’t you think that maybe this is worth trying, whatever this is?”

“But Hannie…” The nickname was so kind, Jeonghan had to resist not simply hugging the other out that exact moment. “How would it even work? We’re three people, we’re barely adults, we barely got our shit figured out, this isn’t…”

“I know.” Jeonghan smiled small, thumbing running over the back of the boy’s hand. “And believe me, if I could, I’d like just one of you. Fuck, I really wanted to like just one. Or even neither. But for some reason, I can’t. I…” He gulped, wetting his lips. “I want you both. I need you both.”

He could see his eyes softening, the fear in them giving way for something else. Maybe hope? Or perhaps Jeonghan was just being a bit too hopeful himself.

Jisoo parted his lips to speak a few times before he actually spoke, looking both at him and Seungcheol, who was now also standing close to them.

“I like you too.” The youngest confessed, and with it a wave of warmth crashed onto Jeonghan. “Both of you.” He added, exchanging looks with the two. “But I’m not… What if I’m not what you expect? What if you get tired? I’m not what I seem, not always.”

“Shua, none of us are.” Jeonghan pointed out with a small chuckle. “Cheol has control issues, I’m a selfish ass with an inferiority complex—“

“ _Han_ ,” Seungcheol reprimanded, because he hated hearing him talking about himself like that.

“What I’m trying to say is, nobody here is perfect.” Jeonghan continued, looking between the two. “But we’re trying, right? And I… I wanna try together, with both of you. Because you two make me so fucking happy, and I… I want that, okay?” He wanted to be happy, with them. “I wanna be with you. Together.”

“I want that too.” Seungcheol confessed softly, taking Jeonghan’s free hand and offering his other one to Jisoo.

It would probably look ridiculous to anyone who could walk in on them right then, but for Jeonghan, it looked close to perfection. Only one thing was missing.

Jeonghan squeezed the younger’s hand gently, giving him a warm smile. He had no reason to fear, because Jeonghan had been right. This felt right, complete.

“…Okay.” Jisoo gave in, wetting his lips before finally linking hands with Seungcheol. “Together.”

And there it was.

Perfection.

 

 

——

 

 

Seungkwan wasn’t sure why he was so certain he’d find Seokmin in the staff room. Jihoon would say it was probably because they spent every single minute together, which was possibly true. Rationally, it was more likely because that’s where they always went when they had some extra time and needed to cool off. The rooms were there for that, anyway. Supplied with two bunk beds and not much space, only for the staff to catch some shut eye during their long shifts.

No shut eye was going to be achieved that night, though.

Even if he didn’t let it show, Seungkwan felt relief pouring into him as he spotted his friend sitting on the edge of the bed. He tried not to pay attention to his dirty scrubs as he took the spot next to him, fingers picking aimlessly at his own nails.

“No matter how much I wash them, they’re not clean enough.” The younger confessed with a shaky smile.

“How is he?” Seokmin asked as he placed a hand on his forearm, as if to keep the shorter from harming his cuticles.

“Stable, still.” Seungkwan informed, wetting his lips while keeping his eyes low. “We managed to close up the wounds, but we still gotta X-ray him when he’s improved. Jisoo hyung thinks the ribs tore the lung tissue, not the bullet.”

It wasn’t the first time they had seen a wound like that, but it still felt like so. Like everything was still new, still shocking.

“But there’s no fluid in them, right?” Seungkwan shook his head to confirm the other’s presumption. “That will help the recovery.”

“Yeah.” His reply was weak, disheartened. Recovery seemed like such a far-fetched concept right now.

Seokmin squeezed his arm, reminding him he was still there. And he was glad, truly, because he didn’t wish to be alone at that moment, and Seokmin was surely one of the best people to have around. Yet still, Seungkwan couldn’t help but feeling a bit guilty, in the midst of all the other emotions he had felt that night.

“I thought it got easier with time.” His confession was a whisper, followed by a poorly hidden sniffle.

“It did. We got sick with worry whenever a kid came in with a broken arm, remember?” The elder reminded him kindly, before shuffling closer, letting go of his arm to slide his own around his smaller frame. “This is just… Different.”

“I don’t like this different.” Seungkwan sollowed dryly.

“Me neither.” Though he wasn’t really looking at the older, he could hear the frown on his lips. He could then feel his frame breathing deeply against his side, as if trying to calm them both at the same time.

And Seungkwan tried, he really tried to stay calm. All that night, from the car to the hospital, from changing into his scrubs to washing his hands, Seungkwan tried to stay calm, because that’s what he had to do. That’s what they needed him to do. That’s what he wanted to do.

But now he just couldn’t do it anymore.

Giving into the pain in his chest, Seungkwan turned half way to hide himself against Seokmin’s shoulder, finally letting go of that one sob that quickly multiplied. He could feel his friend’s long arms wrapping around his shaking frame, and he felt so bad for using him as an emotional clutch, but Seungkwan felt bad for so many reasons at the moment that he simply cried harder.

“I hate this, Kyeom.” Seungkwan whined like a heartbroken child. He spoke between coughs and hiccups, and it was pathetic, but he didn’t care. “I hate this so much, it’s not fair. We–We… We should stop them from getting hurt and he— He’s still hurt… I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t—“

“But you did good, Kwannie.” Seokmin’s voice was shaky as well, his weakness somehow comforting to the younger. “You did so good, you did. He needed you, and you were there. You helped him. If you hadn’t been there…”

“ _Don’t_.” The shorter pleaded softly, hiding against his chest while simultaneously trying not to get him dirty. Not that it would make a difference.

“I don’t know how you did it.” The older sniffled as well, rubbing his back comfortingly.

“I don’t even know how I fucking did it.” Seungkwan admitted before gasping softly, pulling back. His hands pressed and rubbed uselessly against his eyes, trying to stop them from stinging. He truly had no idea. Because now the simple memory of the night paralyzed him entirely, so Seungkwan had no clue as to how he was even able to help at the time.

“But you did it.” Seokmin insisted, pulling his wrists down gently, so Seungkwan could finally see his own red-rimmed eyes. Curse him for ever making Seokmin cry. “That’s what matters. And it really matters, Kwan. It made an entire difference.”

Seungkwan gulped once again before nodding, his sobs finally calming down to small sniffles. He helped, and he wanted to help more, but he also didn’t know how.

“I’m scared to go back there.” He mumbled, glancing back at the door.

“Me too.” The older confessed, pushing back his dark hair and revealing the apprehension in his eyes.

“But we have to.” Seungkwan concluded softly, to which the other nodded.

“Because we want to.” Seokmin reasoned, confusing him for a moment, though he was right. No, he didn’t want to go back to that nightmare, he didn’t want to be reminded of what was happening. But he wanted to go back there, he wanted to help him.

“Because he needs us.” The younger realized, causing the older to smile gently.

“Because  _they_  need us.”

 

 

——

 

 

“I thought you weren’t allowed in the kitchen without a responsible adult.”

Jihoon reminded as he joined his friend in said room, taking a seat by the table with his phone in hand. Usually the other wasn’t even allowed ten feet near the kitchen without at least one of them with him, and Seokmin didn’t count. The boy was responsible, but when it came to caving into Soonyoung’s wishes he was a bit biased.

“I’m not a child.” The thief huffed, simply cutting up some apple slices.

“Last night you went to bed at 3AM because you were binge watching Kim Possible.”

“That was for research purposes!” Soonyoung insisted, finishing cutting the second apple into a small ceramic bowl. “And who are you pointing fingers at, mister ‘I know every anime opening’.”

“Anime is not for children.” Jihoon protested while Soonyoung brought the bowl over to the table along with an open jar of Nutella. Oh, a young adult’s ability to completely ruin a meal’s healthy aspects by adding something incredibly unhealthy to it.

“Sure Jihoonie, and I didn’t eat the slice I dropped on the floor before you got here.”

Jihoon snickered, grabbing a piece of the fruit to toss it at his friend, who skillfully caught it with his mouth. It wasn’t the hacker’s intention, but he couldn’t say it wasn’t amusing either way.

“What are you doing here anyway?” The taller wondered, dipping a new slice into the hazelnut chocolate mixture. “Not that I’m complaining, but usually it takes a wrench to get you out of your office at this hour.

Jihoon thought the older was being a bit too dramatic, but he knew that was a fight he wouldn’t win. It wasn’t like he was wrong, just clearly exaggerating. Because yes, Jihoon was usually working in the late hours of the afternoon. It was a time when no one complained he should be sleeping instead, and also everyone else was usually too busy with their own things to bother him.

“I finished what I was doing, but I need Coups’ opinion on something before taking the next step.” He explained, surrendering to the odd food choice as well and getting himself a slice.

“I’m sure he’ll still pick up if you call.” Soonyoung was probably right, even if the leader had told them both he’d be too busy during the day.

“I know, but it’s not that important and he might be in the middle of something.” He explained with his mouthful, table manners long forgotten between the two.

Seungcheol hadn’t told them much, only that he was going to try and search the streets for information along with Jeonghan. They knew what that meant, sort of. Listening in on back alley conversations, getting in contact with a few people they had met in other missions. Not exactly good people or bad people, but people who knew things everyone else didn’t. Honestly, it was a job better done at night, so Jihoon assumed Jisoo had forbidden them to go wandering around dangerous people at night. The hacker snickered at the thought. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“So I should thank Seungcheol being busy for you finally crawling out of your cave?” Soonyoung teased with a smirk, licking the chocolate off his lips.

“You’re sounding like an ungrateful little shit now, if you ask me.” The shorter reprimanded, though it only earned him a laugh. “Nah, I don’t know, just been a while since we hung out, I guess?”

The thief blinked at that, his usually thin eyes becoming rounder. “But we hang out all the time?”

“I know, but not like, I mean, just us, you know?” Jihoon tried to explain, poorly. “‘Been a while.” He shrugged, taking another piece to dip it more than halfway into the Nutella.

Maybe he was making a big deal out of it. They did hang out all the time. And he loved hanging out with the other guys too. He’d never say it, because they are all idiots who would either get too emotional over it or hold it against him ‘till the end of times. But still, he did.

However, before they knew them, it was just the two of them. Just Soonyoung and Jihoon. And with the way things had been lately, with all that was going on, their moments alone together had become almost inexistent. Perhaps it was just some weird nostalgia, but Jihoon missed those moments.

“Yeah, I know.” The younger blinked at that, looking up at the warm expression on his friend’s eyes. “Kinda feels necessary, right? Like water.”

“Yeah.” Jihoon was sure he couldn’t have found a better analogy. “Like water.” Something so common to the point they grew used to it, but easily felt it’s absence when they went too long without it.

Soonyoung almost giggled at that, and Jihoon couldn’t help sharing a chuckle as well. Even after all those years he hadn’t grown immune to Soonyoung’s happiness. _Good_.

“Also, I kinda wanted to ask how you were doing, but I’m kinda shit at those things.” The shorter admitted, taking one last slice from the bowl.

“What do you mean?” There was confusion in the way he frowned.

“I don’t know, there was just a lot going on recently, and with Wonwoo’s family, you know…” Jihoon shrugged gently, but it wasn’t because he didn’t care. He simply lacked the ability of properly talking about feelings. But he was trying, okay? “Made me think about my parents, and so I assumed it probably made you think of yours, so I wanted to know if you were okay.”

Just like he wasn’t good at talking about his emotions, he wasn’t exactly great at reading other’s either. So Jihoon couldn’t really decipher the look Soonyoung gave him, but it seemed soft, and maybe a little surprised. Like when Junhui watched that video of a cat mom raising abandoned puppies.

The older looked down then, as if examining the half eaten slice in his hand before pushing it pass his lips. He nodded a bit as he chewed, tongue running over his lips to lick them clean. It didn’t do that good of a job.

“I did, but I’m okay.” Soonyoung confessed because he knew Jihoon didn’t like it when he lied to him. “I think I was so worried about what was going on with Wonwoo that I didn’t really have the mind to worry about myself.” He chuckled, but Jihoon understood what it was like.

“Do you ever talk to them?” Jihoon wondered, because the last time they talked about that had been over a year ago. “I mean, before we cut contact with everyone.”

“Mmh, sometimes I’d send mom a message. It was easier to talk to auntie though.” His lips curled in an nearly sad smile. “She sends news about the kids, so it’s nice.”

“I bet they miss you.” Jihoon grinned, trying to cheer the other up.

“Well, she says so, but sometimes I think they already forgot my face.” The older snickered, though he didn’t sound so hurt. Perhaps he didn’t believe his own words.

“Believe me Soonyoung, it’s not an easy face to forget.” The younger teased, and they both laughed, even if for an instant.

If anyone had the chance to see Soonyoung with his cousins, it’d come as no surprise to them how much he loved those little brats. Yes, they were brats. Loud and obnoxious, with endless energy to play and annoy the living hell out of everybody. However, they also admired their older cousin like no one else in the world. Clearly, the love they shared was mutual, and Jihoon knew the elder always feared it would go away once he’d left the house.

But Jihoon knew that wasn’t possible.

“What about your dad?” The hacker wondered, knowing it wasn’t his favorite subject, but wanting to ask nonetheless.

“I don’t know, he won’t talk to me.” The ‘ever’ was omitted, but Jihoon knew it was there. “The times I talked to mum she said he cares about me, he’s just hot headed, blah blah blah.” Soonyoung shrugged, thankfully not seeming too bothered by it. Or maybe he was just accustomed by now. Jihoon wished his friend wouldn’t feel that way, but he should be the last one to judge.

“Don’t believe her?”

“I think she believes it’s true, but I doubt it.” The thief confessed with a soft sigh, one feet now on his chair as he rested his head on his knee. “You know how he is. We’re just too different. And I always knew I couldn’t change for him, but I guess I gotta realize he can’t change for me either. Or maybe he just won’t, doesn’t really make a difference.”

It made sense, and it was something incredibly mature for Soonyoung to say. Not that his friend was always the child he seemed to be, but still, it surprised him. A bit heartbreaking too, but Soonyoung was right, they were too different. His father was a serious man, with his own small business and a family and a half to feed. His sense of work ethics and commitment would never match Soonyoung’s free-spirited mind. The younger had his own responsibilities of course, and no one could ever say he wasn’t committed. However, he had his own dreams, his own things he wanted to chase, and his father’s mind was too small to comprehend that.

“Well then, fuck him.” It was such a childish response to Soonyoungs confession. The older had opened his heart and here Jihoon was, acting like the friend of the lead in a movie who had just gotten their heart broken. But he had a feeling that was just what the older needed. A stupid, childish, fuck him.

And it seemed he was right with the way the other burst into laughter. “Yeah, fuck him.” He agreed, though sounding more cheerful than mad. Good, Jihoon much preferred a cheerful Soonyoung.

With his newfound confidence, the thief stuck his forefinger into the jar of nutella, managing to scoop up a sinful amount of the sweet, only to stick it into his mouth.

“Dude!” Jihoon exclaimed. “What the fuck, we eat from that!”

“What? They’re clean-“ Soonyoung defended before sucking the rest of the Nutella off his finger. Not a sight Jihoon was ever pleased to see.

“Fuck, no, you’re done here. No more kitchen.” The hacker decided, closing the jar and practically shoving his chair back as he got up to put the thing back where it belong.

“But Jihoonie!” The elder whined, following the other.

“You’re coming with me or I’m telling Mingyu what you did!” Jihoon threatened as he left the kitchen, listening to the hurried steps now following him.

Alright, he had had enough water for the day.

 

 

——

 

 

To say things hadn’t improved from when they’d first met would be a lie. The nightmares had become fewer, their trust had grown stronger, and Minghao had found in Junhui something he never thought he’d have – a friend. And gradually, along with the older, he found even more friends.

However, he’d also be lying if he said things were perfect.

Not that he would complain. Well, Minghao actually did complain. Not as often as Mingyu claimed he did, but more frequently than he cared to admit. However, they were usually small complaints, just ways of bickering and making fun of his friends. Tough love, as Seokmin liked to put it.

But no, that’s not truly what bothered Minghao. What bothered him was that still, they had nightmares. Still, they’d feel that odd emptiness growing in their stomachs. Still, they’d have to search for each other, either at odd hours of the night or in the middle of the day, just to remind theirselves that they were still somewhat normal. Because yes, they trusted their friends, but there were still some things that seemed like taboo to speak of even around them.

What bothered him was that once again, Junhui had woken up in the middle of a nap, panting to the point of hyperventilation with sweat dampening his shirt. It didn’t bother him that the older needed his help remembering where he was, or regaining his breath. It bothered Minghao that those memories continued to plague the two, rushing back in the most inconvenient of hours as if to mock them.

“It’s okay. We’re fine, you’re okay.” Minghao mumbled into his ear, one hand rubbing over his wide shoulders, the other brushing the other’s hair back in a comforting manner. It could seem like a simple display of affection to a stranger’s eyes, but over the years Minghao had learned that that was the best way to calm the other down from one of his nightmares.

He sat next to him on the taller’s bed as he coached him back to reality. Thankfully, it worked. Thankfully, this wasn’t one of their worst episodes. Junhui was sitting on the edge of the bed as well, with his feet on the ground and his hands gripping his knees tightly. His breathing had returned to normal. A bit on the heavier side perhaps, but much slower. Calmer.

Minghao saw those fingers fidget when the door was opened, and though he pulled his right hand back to his own lap, he kept his other hand on the older’s back, keeping their connection. He didn’t know how heavy the air in the room was for Mingyu, Wonwoo, Soonyoung and Seokmin to stop their banter immediately after stepping in, but he guessed the sight probably helped with that either.

“Everything okay?” The elder thief was the one who asked, though they all carried the same frown of concern.

“Yeah, it’s okay.” It wasn’t, but he knew the last thing Jun needed right now was to feel like a burden. Not that he was ever one, but Minghao had been in his place plenty of times before to know how it felt. “We were actually gonna go out for some air.”

“Wait—“ Mingyu called before they could even think of moving, getting everyone’s attention. “You know you don’t… have to, right?”

The younger thief blinked a couple of times, though he nodded. “Yeah, we know. Don’t worry, we just—“

“But we do worry.” Wonwoo’s voice didn’t lack any honesty, the older never being one to sugarcoat things. He seemed to notice Minghao’s hold on Junhui grow a bit more protective, so he continued. “I’m not saying it’s your fault. What I’m saying is that we’ll worry regardless, if either of you isn’t well, so we’d rather know why than speculate about it.”

“We shouldn’t push them.” Soonyoung reprimanded gently, though Wonwoo still made his way into the room to sit on the bed across from theirs.

“I know, and I’m not trying to push any of you, I promise.” His tone was kinder now, but still just as sincere. And it seemed to work, given the way Jun’s shoulders relaxed under his hold. “Your feelings are yours to share with whoever you want, if you want to. But I feel like sometimes you won’t come to us because you might have the wrong idea of how we’ll react.”

It shouldn’t be so odd to hear those words from Wonwoo. He was a well-read guy after all, and a good friend on top of that. However, usually his talks came with lame jokes or crude comments. Not that it was a bad thing, it was one of the many things that made him, well, him. However, that shamefully made them forget that the older was also very kind and generous, and incredibly mature for his age.

With their consenting silence, the others took a seat as well. Seokmin sat straight across from him while Soonyoung sat on the other side of Wonwoo. As if sensing Minghao’s fear of feeling as if in an interrogatory, Mingyu took the spot next to the younger Chinese, getting a smile from him.

“It’s hard,” Junhui finally spoke, wetting his lips. “Talking about it.”

“We can start with something small.” Seokmin suggested with a gentle smile, his innocence hitting them like a refreshing breeze. “Like, are you okay right now?”

“I’m—“ Minghao could sense it in the other’s tone, how he considered lying. “I’m better. Not okay, but getting there.” The younger tried encouraging his friend by squeezing his shoulder, giving him a small nod once he looked his way.

Maybe he was in a better emotional state than Junhui at the moment, but he was scared too. Yet there was something telling him that maybe they should try this out. Maybe it seemed scarier than it actually was.

“I had a nightmare, that’s all.” Junhui spoke as if it was nothing, but that was okay, at least he was speaking. “I—We get them, from time to time.”

“Are they scary?” Soonyoung wondered.

“Terrifying.” The older answered with a dry smile.

“They can be anything.” Minghao continued. “Sometimes they’re memories, other times just feelings. Sometimes it’s things that didn’t even happen. Like… As if we were still there.” Those were some of the worst.

“There?” Seokmin questioned.

“The facility.” Mingyu assumed, getting another nod from the youngest in the room.

“They got a lot better, though.” Junhui looked up at all of them, as if trying to reassure them or something. Maybe that they had actually made some improvement. “I mean, they’re still bad, but there’s less of them. Less often.”

“What was it today?” The hacker was the one to ask.

The two Chinese friends exchanged looks, because this was the subject they dreaded most. Today had been one of the worst nightmares.

“The rite.”

“What’s the rite?” Seokmin spoke through the silence in the room, looking at the other three as if to see if they knew the answer.

Apparently, Wonwoo did.

“It’s what you spoke of in the game, isn’t it?”

The drinking game, yes. The first time they had ever talked about it with the others. Minghao felt his heart racing as he nodded, still unsure of their reactions. He didn’t know what he was scared of, he knew they wouldn’t suddenly hate them or judge them. But could he blame them if they did? That’s what scared them the most. They didn’t know the reaction they wanted, nor the one they deserved.

“Why have you never told us before?” Soonyoung’s voice was as soft as the look in his eyes, filled with concern.

“We were afraid,” Minghao was the one to speak, not wanting to put Junhui in that position. “Of what you’d think. Of how you’d treat us.” He almost felt sick saying it, as if they would ever treat them badly.

“We’d never judge you.” Mingyu frowned, his hand gently yet decidedly sliding under Minghao’s free one, lacing their fingers together firmly. The younger was never one to hold hands in front of the other members, but at that moment it came as a surprise to him how much he had actually been craving the taller’s touch, something he only found out when he had actually taken his hand.

“You don’t— you don’t know.” Junhui gulped, tensing back up.

“We know you wouldn’t. But we also don’t know?” Minghao tried to explain, though he wasn’t a dictionary of emotions now either. “We just, we’ve done a lot of stuff, guys. We’ve done things that… And that, the rite, that was the worst. You say you won’t judge us, and we know you won’t, but we also don’t know. We don’t know because you don’t know what we’ve done. You… You think we’re the good guys, and… And what if we’re not?” They certainly hadn’t always been.

A hush fell upon them once again, perhaps the slight drag of Minghao’s words gave them away. His accent was always thicker when he was nervous.

“Then tell us about it.” Mingyu suggested, squeezing the younger’s hand.

“It’s hard.” Minghao confessed weakly.

“Why?” The older thief questioned.

“Because it hurts.” The words came out in a breath from Junhui’s lips, though Minghao felt as if they had come out of his own lungs.

It hurt. It really hurt.

But maybe that was why they had to talk about it.

“They take you to a room.” A poorly lit room with failing fluorescent lights and mold between the tiles on the walls. Straight out of any horror game. “And they have someone tied to a chair, and you got a weapon choice.” Minghao had chosen a dagger. Years later, not long after they met, Junhui had confessed he had chosen a gun. “And then you just… do it.”

Just like that, as if it was nothing.

“It’s so easy.” Minghao let out a dry chuckle, not noticing his own fingers twitching. “That’s why it fucks you up. ‘Cause it’s so easy. They don’t even have a chance to fight back. Just like that, it’s done.”

“How did it feel?” Seokmin’s voice was nearly a whisper.

“No better than being shot.” Jun commented dryly, but it had no offense to it. That was what made it even worse, the fact that it was no lie.

“It changes everything. Everything we thought we knew, everything we believed in. The rite of passage is not to see if you can go through with it, is to see if you can survive it.” Minghao wet his lips, feeling sick just from the memory.

They could see it, how they all were trying to take it in. That was another reason they never wanted to share. Because it hurt, it hurt to remember, it hurt to talk about it, and it hurt others to hear it.

“You kept that in all this time?” Soonyoung asked almost painfully.

“We learned how to, at some point.” Though it never got easier. “The only time I ever shared was after I met hyung. And still then, we just…” He shared a look with the older.

“We felt like we had to.”

“Well, don’t.” Wonwoo blurted out. “Fuck, guys, you can’t keep that in. You don’t have to anymore.” He sounded almost pleading, with the way his brows furrowed and his eyes seemed to water. “You can’t carry all that weight by yourselves anymore.”

“Let us help.” Mingyu’s voice was weak and his eyes red, and Minghao stopped himself from apologizing for causing the other such pain. He hated it. He hated seeing him like that, and he wanted to apologize, but he knew that was not what the older wanted.

“…Okay.” He whispered instead, eyes lingering on the taller’s before looking back at Jun as if to ask _‘We can do that, right?’_

The older seemed to be searching for something in his eyes, maybe confidence, before nodding lightly. “We can try.”

“Trying is all we need.” Seokmin encouraged with another warm smile that helped push their worries away, even if only a little.

_Then try they would._

 

 

——

 

_25/12/2015_

 

“Come on, we can take the stairs.” Jisoo suggested as they watched a family of five get into the elevator along with a full shopping cart.

“Hyung, no, let’s wait for it to come back.” Seungkwan pleaded, pulling the older back by the arm to keep him from reaching the stairs. “I’m too tired already.”

“Don’t be like that, it’s just five floors, Kwannie.” He eyes the other with a perplexed look. Seungkwan wasn’t the most athletic, but he wasn’t against taking the stairs most of the time.

“But I’m tired!” The younger whined, practically hanging off his arm now.

“It was just a bike ride, Kwannie. And you’re the one who suggested it.” Jisoo held back a chuckle from how the other’s expression twisted with regret.

“That’s because I didn’t know you were so fast! I felt like I was in the Tour de France!”

Joshua couldn’t help laughing then, eventually giving into the other’s antics. Truth was, it was hard to say no to Seungkwan. At the end of the day, despite the younger’s utter dislike for the adjective, he was too cute to refuse.

“Fine, fine.” The older relented, since the elevator was on its way back down anyway. “But you could’ve told me to slow down, you know?”

“Who do you think I was yelling at for ten minutes straight?”

Jisoo stifled another laugh as the elevator announced its arrival with an off-tune ding. Both the boys made their way inside, their coats and scarves still keeping them warm despite the lack of heating. It was mindless chatter from there to their apartment, talks about classes or what they were doing for the new years. Jisoo himself had almost forgotten what day it was, until they walked through the door.

“Merry Christmas!”

The older med student almost jumped at the group greeting, midway through hanging his coat behind the door.

“What?” He blinked, trying to take in the sight before him. The apartment barely looked like their own. Well, the mess was still the same, only it was… brighter.

There were fairy lights all over the living room. Around the TV, framing the couch, all kinds, from those big round bulbs to tiny LED ones. Between the couch and the arm chair was a Christmas tree. Not a real one, but one of these fake ones parents get and take over half an hour setting up. One of the branches were crooked, which made Jisoo wonder if they had bought it that way or if someone had given up on assembling it. Underneath were small boxes of wrapped in bright red and green paper, though he wasn’t certain if they were all gifts or if some were simply balls of rolled up wrapping paper.

The coffee table wasn’t empty either. Instead of the usual books or video game joysticks, there were pinecones and acorns spread out in between bowls of cookies and milk cartons, along with little candy canes. Over the wall that led to the kitchen, hanging off of god knew what, was a colorful homemade-looking banner that read ‘Merry Cristmas!”, with a tiny ‘h’ squeezed in between the ‘C’ and the ‘r’.

“Merry Christmas!” Soonyoung repeated, and only then did Jisoo actually took the time to notice his friends, all standing close to the entrance now with Santa hats.

“We wanted it to be a surprise.” Chan explained, and well, they did succeed at that.

“Surprise me with… Christmas?” Jisoo’s brows furrowed in confusion, still trying to grasp the situation. He looked at Jeonghan and Seungcheol then, hoping they would explain it to him. Thankfully, they seemed to get his look of total confusion.

“Come on,” Jeonghan chuckled, pulling him by the wrist as if to give him a tour through the small living room, Seungcheol following close behind with a smug smile on his lips. “Okay, we know it’s not exactly perfect, but most of us haven’t celebrated Christmas in ages, so we did the best we could, okay?”

“What—“ Jisoo tried once again, and yet again he was interrupted.

“I asked Hansolie what’s an American Christmas like, but he’s useless—“

“Hey!” The boy complained.

“So we had to look up most of it online, but,” The older continued then, as if never interrupted by the younger’s protest. “Look! We have a tree, and gifts, and Christmas lights and everything.”

“We were supposed to have egg nog too, but Soonyoung turned it into scrambled eggs.” Wonwoo provided helpfully.

“It was a hard recipe!” Soonyoung exclaimed. “Plus, we mixed milk with vodka and nutmeg instead, which is basically the same thing, right?”

“And our oven isn’t big enough for a turkey, so we got fried chicken in the kitchen.” Mingyu explained, though Joshua’s attention was still on the decor.

“And Hansol only now explained that apparently the milk and cookies are for Santa, but I mean we all like cookies right? So we can just wear the hats and eat it.” Jeonghan grinned, offering the younger a hat, which Jisoo distractedly took.

“Yeah, and if it’s a big deal, we can just put Seungkwannie in a Santa outfit.” Seungcheol teased.

“Why me?!” The younger whined loudly, somehow already with a hat on. When did he even put that?

“Because you’re soft and adorable and you like children.” Jeonghan replied as if he had already thought of that answer beforehand.

“I don’t get it.”

The older two blinked then, looking back at Jisoo with question in their eyes.

“Don’t get what?” The leader questioned.

“Oh, the banner? Yeah, Hansolie said Christmas didn’t really have banners, but Seokminnie really wanted to make one and you know I can’t—“

“No, I mean, I get all this,” He gestured around to the living room. “Just… Why?” Jisoo asked with sincere curiosity, because that was the only thing he was still trying to understand. And it seemed to take the other two by surprise as well, though Seungcheol was soon shrugging, now standing beside Jeonghan in front of him.

“We know you were upset about your mom not being able to come for Christmas.” The oldest explained, and suddenly everything began making sense.

“And we couldn’t really afford to get you a ticket, so.” Jeonghan smiled softly.

“It was Hannie’s idea, really. And we all know you like celebrating Christmas and all that.”

“Yeah, just this week you watched like five Christmas movies.” Jihoon snickered, though there was some hidden kindness in his words.

“We know it’s not much,” Jeonghan began once again. “And like, most of the decor is wrong, but—“

“It’s perfect.” Jisoo quickly interrupted, finally looking back at the two again after taking in the sight of the living room for the third time.

“What?” It was their turn to ask, but instead of answering with words, Jisoo was soon throwing his arms around the two in front of them, a laugh leaving him as he clung to both.

“You do realize half the gifts are fake, right?” Soonyoung asked out, as if just to make sure he was on par with the situation.

Pulling back, Jisoo looked at the confused stares of Jeonghan and Seungcheol, laughing once again at their dumbfounded looks.

“I don’t care, it’s perfect.” He repeated, cheeks almost hurting from how wide he was grinning. He stepped back to take another look at the tree, the food, even the lopsided banner. “It’s weird, and bright, and kind of funny and… I love it.” The boy sighed then, facing the other two once more. “It’s perfect.”

And yes, he was upset he’s mother wasn’t able to visit. She came every year, or he went back home, but this time work and classes and everything got in the way. Jisoo understood, and it shouldn’t have upset him as much as it did, but apparently he didn’t hide it as well as he thought. Or maybe they just knew him too well.

Soon enough Jeonghan and Seungcheol were matching his smile as well, more than content with the result.

“Awesome!” Soonyoung clapped loudly, as if making a huge announcement. “Fried chicken!” He cheered, making his way to the kitchen.

“Hyung, you’re ruining the atmosphere!” Seungkwan chided as he followed the other, along with Junhui and Chan.

“Fried chicken never ruins anything!” The thief put it wisely, missing Minghao’s and Wonwoo’s synchronized eye roll.

“You really love it?” Jisoo blinked at Seungcheol’s question, focusing back at the two.

“I do.” He smiled once again, though he doubted he ever stopped. “I really do.”

“Good.” Jeonghan grinned. “Because if it wasn’t for me Seungcheol would’ve totally ruined the surprise, you know?” The younger two laughed as the oldest shoved Jeonghan’s in complaint.

“I know.” Jisoo teased as well, amused and a bit endeared by Seungcheol’s exasperated groan.

“You’re both evil.” The leader grumbled before his expression softened once again. “Sorry we couldn’t get you a ticket home, though.”

Jisoo frowned at that, momentarily confused by the eldest’s words, before shaking his head. “This is better.” The youngest confessed softly, away from the loud chatter that the rest of them were involved in now. “This is home.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN FOR ALL THE KUDOS/COMMENTS/HITS/BOOKMARKS!!  
> I can't believe this thing has over 10k hits and 500+ kudos like srsly whY but also THANK YOU
> 
> Anyway-  
> I am not sure how I feel about this chapter. I started loving it but then I began feeling disappointed with it? I'm not sure.  
> Still, I believe it's the best I can give you at the moment, and I'll work harder to better the next ones ^^  
> I've also thought of maybe making a twitter or tumblr or smth to give some smaller and more frequent updates like previews or smth, but idk if I'd have anything interesting to share on that- lol
> 
> As always, if you find a typo please don't be afraid to tell me!! I reread before posting but I always miss something ><  
> And feel free to let me know what you're thinking of it so far!! I love reading all your comments, I really do. So much so that I even read them for inspiration more often than not!
> 
> alSO ps CALL CALL CALL is so corny and I LOVE IT ~~and yes it gave me more ideas for another au and i DO NOT have the time for that like how dare they wtf~~


	29. I was looking for something better than just thank you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Guess what we found in the trash!”
> 
> Is not a sentence anyone would be delighted to hear. Especially not Seungcheol, who had in fact heard it a few times before and it had never been something good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK BITCHES
> 
> Actually all jokes aside I'm really sorry for taking so long. There's a huge ass scene in this chapter I am so sorry but I couldn't bring myself to cut it shorter but pls enjoy-

  

Jihoon’s fingers tapped against the laptop’s keys without actually pressing down on any, just making a filling and probably obnoxious sound.

He had work.

He probably should work.

He tried to work.

But truth was, at the moment his laptop was serving as nothing more than a façade. It was on, and he had some files open with bullet points of things he wanted to get done, but his current problem was with actually focusing on those bullet points.

Truth was, Jihoon had never had trouble focusing. Not on things he enjoyed, at least. He was the extreme opposite of Hansol, in that term. While the younger was often easily distracted or needed a very specific type of atmosphere to concentrate, Jihoon could work on practically any circumstances.

Yet apparently now he couldn’t. And he didn’t even have noise or distractions as excuses, given he was entirely alone in the kitchen, for a change. But whenever he started to do something he’d look at the little watch at the corner of his screen, and wonder if time was really going by so slowly, or why weren’t Jisoo and Junhui home yet.

Oh yeah, that’s why he couldn’t focus. Jun had woken up with a bit of a fever, and Jisoo, after a quick examination, had decided to take him to the hospital run some quick exams. And that was fine, it was fine, right? They were playing it safe. Except that Jisoo had that look in his eyes that said _‘there’s no reason to worry but I am worried’_ , and Jihoon still recalled something about lung injuries possibly resulting in infections, or even respiratory problems, and now he was looking at the time on the corner of his screen again and it hadn’t even been five minutes since last time and—

The hacker was startled out of his endless thought process by the sound of the door unlocking, practically jumping out of his seat though still waiting by the kitchen. He swore though that if it was anyone other than the two walking in, he’d throw a damn chair on them.

Thankfully, the chairs were spared as Jun and Jisoo walked into the kitchen, the taller still wearing the thick navy scarf Jihoon had insisted he’d put on.

“Jihoonie!” Jun called, smiling warmly despite his red nose and tired eyes. For that, Jihoon let the other drape himself over his shoulders in a side hug, though his eyes shifted between the two.

“How’d it go? Is everything okay?” The hacker asked, pressing his lips together.

“Yeah, his lungs are fine, thankfully. No signs of infections.” Joshua reassured them with a rather relieved tone, draping his overcoat on one of the chairs. “It’s just a regular flu, so we gave him something for the fever.”

Jihoon frowned a bit, though he nodded nonetheless. He then shifted in the older’s heavy arms, pushing him off a bit only to properly face him and feel his forehead. “He’s still a bit warm.”

“I’m fine, Jihoonie.” Junhui almost snickered, though he wondered if his red cheeks were due to the fever or embarrassment.

“The adults are talking.” Jihoon reprimanded.

“I’m older than you!”

Jihoon paid him no mind though as he looked back at Jisoo, who now seemed to be putting some water to boil. “He’s still got a temperature, but it’s gone down since he took the meds. We gotta wait three more hours to give him more, though. So as long as it doesn’t rise, he should be fine.” The doctor explained, grabbing a chipped cup and the box of teas they store in one of the cabinets.

“Should be?” Jihoon felt himself frowning further, though Jisoo offered him an understanding smile in return.

“I’m fine, Jihoonie.” Junhui insisted, grabbing the shorter’s shoulders from behind to lightly and obnoxiously rock him back and forth.

“You’re not fine, you have the flu.” The hacker reminded him with a pointed glare.

“Everybody gets the flu.” The Chinese pointed out, which was not a very good point.

“Not everybody gets it after getting shot, though.” He didn’t like bringing that up, but the last thing he wanted was for Junhui to pretend this was nothing.

“He’s right, Junnie. I want you taking your temperature every half hour.” Jisoo instructed while finally choosing a tea, probably something with chamomile. “If it rises, or if you feel any more pain, you come to me alright? Or Seomin or Seungkwan, just don’t act like it’s nothing.”

Jihoon could feel the taller sighing behind him as he wrapped his long arms around him once again. “I will.” Junhui assured, them, and if it wasn’t enough, he added “I promise.”

“Good.” Jisoo smiled once again, serving himself of the hot water and dipping the tea bag into his cup before leaving to the living room. No doubt the older boy had become quite stressed over the whole situation as well.

“Stop worrying.” Junhui mumbled, still holding him in a back hug.

“I can’t just stop worrying.” The younger mumbled back, eyes down at some spot on the floor, a couple of feet away from them. “I can’t care about you and not worry, you idiot.”

He could feel the taller’s shoulders lift gently, though he only held him tighter. “But I’m telling you it’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“It doesn’t work that way.” He insisted.

“Will it help you worry less if I promise to tell you whenever I don’t feel good, too?” Junhui wondered, though he wasn’t exactly hiding from him before. Junhui had come to him when he wasn’t feeling well, he had been honest to Jisoo about what he was feeling, so there really was no reason for Jihoon to be so strict about it. Except he was still a bit scarred, still a bit traumatized, and this was his way of coping with it.

“No.” The hacker mumbled stubbornly before wetting his lips. “…But it will make me feel a bit better.”

“Then I promise,” Junhui hummed. “I’ll let you know even if I just hurt my toe.”

“That is if I’m not the one who stepped on it.” Jihoon grinned, teasingly pressing the heel of his foot on the taller’s toe.

“Jihoonie!” Junhui complained, pulling back with a gasp.

“Go sit down on the couch, I’ll get you a cold press.” He left no room for complaint as he already got a cloth from one of the drawers below the sink.

“But I’m—“ Jihoon shot him another pointed glare, making Junhui stop and his expression shift into a softer one. “Thank you.”

“Better.” The hacker gave him a warm smile before waving him of. “Just go.” He’d take care of everything for now.

 

 

——

 

 

“Hey, you wanted me?” Seungcheol greeted as he entered the office, Wonwoo barely sparing him a glance.

“Yeah, grab a seat.” Wonwoo beckoned him with a loose wave, pushing himself back from the table a bit and rubbing his hands under his glasses. Sometimes he forgot how long he spent working, and his eyes paid the price.

Seungcheol wasted no time in pulling up a chair, not even trying to understand what was on the multiple screens. “So, good thing or bad thing?”

“That depends on what you consider good.” Wonwoo reasoned, cleaning his lenses with his shirt before sliding the glasses back onto his face. “Information, good. Consequence? Probably bad.”

Seungcheol pouted much like a child, pushing back his dark locks. “Just once I wanted to hear something good, though.”

“Want me to get Seokmin? I’m sure he’ll find some way to make this sound good.” The younger could cheer someone up by reading a shampoo bottle.

“Just lay it on me, bro.” The leader decided, opening his arms.

“Okay, if you start with the bro again I’m kicking you out of here.” Wonwoo hoped his glare was enough to threaten the other, though he seemed to get more amused. Giving up, he opened the files he was looking at on the upper screen, grabbing the elder’s attention.

“Wait, that’s the hotel we infiltrated, isn’t it?” Seungcheol’s focus was back on what mattered now, recognizing the name on the files. “High Grounds.”

“That’s the one.” Wonwoo hummed, zooming in on one of the files.

“Why are we looking into them again? I thought the granddaughter had taken charge of things?”

“She did. And she’s doing a pretty good job too, but that’s not the point.” The hacker shook his head. “I was looking into past jobs, seeing if I could find any connection to what’s going on right now. I figured if we can’t know what step to take next, we should look back to the ones we already took, you know?”

“That’s pretty smart.” The leader admitted with a look of surprise.

“I know.” Wonwoo smirked, though it didn’t last long as he continued to explain what he found. “Anyway, I was looking into them before the girl took charge. The old guy was covered in corruption and all that crap, remember? I kept the files, just in case, and guess what I found?”

“Please don’t say SIDEM.” Seungcheol almost pleaded, rubbing between his eyes.

“I won’t say it, but it’s there.” Wonwoo pointed at the list of transactions in the screen, the name SIDEM appearing repeatedly. “I knew the name sounded kinda familiar, and there it is.”

The older groaned then, probably already dreading the amount of headaches that discovery alone would bring. At times like these Wonwoo actually felt bad for their leader. Sure, the hacker knew what was going on and he worked hours and hours trying to find more leads, but when he was off the computer he still manage to focus on something else. On himself, even. Seungcheol, on the other hand, always seemed to have his mind on them, on everything he had to worry about, and now he had one more thing to add to the list.

“So what do you think this mean?” His voice was once again composed and focused, though Wonwoo could still hear the tiredness in it.

“Honestly? Could mean anything, we don’t know.” The younger reasoned, scratching the side of his neck. “But if we’re gonna took the same approach as we did with everything and assume the worst, then there’s a chance they had their eyes on us since then.”

“Could they have known about the job before we did?”

“I doubt it goes that far, the transactions seem to have been going on two months before the girl came to us.” Wonwoo explained, fixing his glasses. “But there’s a good chance they were there the day of the job.”

“ _Awesome_.” Seungcheol sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “So they know how we work?”

“They at least got a good fucking clue.” The hacker admitted with a sigh as well.

“I’m starting to think we should stop looking up shit, it never ends well.” Seungcheol half joked. “I mean, no, you did a good job dude, just—“

“No no, believe me, I get it.” Wonwoo would be lying if he said he hadn’t wondered about that either. “Can’t say I didn’t think about ignoring this, either. I guess it just feels worse, sitting around, doing nothing.”

“Yeah, I get that, too.” The leader admitted with a half grin, patting his own knees. “Anything else you wanted to show me?”

“Nah, that’s all for now.”

“Good, then I should probably go talk to Jihoon and Soonyoung.” Seungcheol decided, using his knees as leverage to push himself up. “You should take a break. I heard Mingyu and Chan were going to the arcade.”

“Yeah, because _that’s_ what I need to de-stress.” Wonwoo muttered, earning a chuckle from the other.

“Just get your ass out of this room for a while.” Seungcheol slapped his shoulder playfully before heading out. “I mean it.”

“Yes, dad.” The younger rolled his eyes, watching the other leave the door open behind himself. He knew that despite his playful tone though, the leader meant every word. “Don’t worry, I will.”

Seungcheol shared a warmer smile now before walking out, leaving the door open behind him. He truly never stopped worrying.

 

 

——

 

 

“Guess what we found in the trash!”

Is not a sentence anyone would be delighted to hear. Especially not Seungcheol, who had in fact heard it a few times before and it had never been something good.

It was just another rainy afternoon, where about half of them had decided to stay in the apartment to play games or work on things they needed to catch up on. The leader himself was playing a game with Jihoon and, unfortunately, losing. So maybe he wasn’t too bitter to pause their game once Hansol had rushed into the apartment with his tone matching the excitement in his smile.

“I swear to god, if it’s another raccoon, I’m giving you both to animal control.” The leader threatened, unaffected by the other’s hurtful stare.

“Okay, first of all, he had a name,” Hansol protested, holding a hand up as if the older had deeply offended a member of his family.

“I refuse to call any animal, especially a raccoon, Mr. Hamburglar.” He couldn’t believe he was actually having this conversation again. He thought the ‘Raccoon Incident of 2K16’ was long behind them.

“He had a burglar mask!” The younger insisted. “And paws like little hands!”

“Can we _not_ go into that again?” Jihoon groaned, voicing Seungcheol’s concern.

“Yeah, well, before I was rudely interrupted,” The younger threw a glare at their leader, “I was gonna say we found something! And no, it’s not a raccoon, nor any animal, unfortunately. I mean not unfortunately, ‘cause it’s not good to find animal in the trash, but you know—“

“ _Hansol_.” Seungkwan called, trying to get him back on track.

“Oh yeah, sorry, anyway, it’s in the gym.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Why didn’t you bring it here?” Jeonghan was the one to question, suddenly emerging from the kitchen along with Jisoo.

“It’s too big to fit through the door.” The younger blinked, as if they should have assumed that from the start.

The leader groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to gather all the patience he could muster. “Hansol—“

“It’s a good thing, I promise!” The younger interrupted, already expecting a scolding from the leader. “Come on, you gotta see it! Get the rest of the guys.” He instructed before disappearing out of the door, leaving the rest of them exchanging confused stares.

With a resented shrug, the leader called out for the rest of them. “Guys, meet-up at the gym!” Perhaps he should’ve put in a little more effort and actually looked into their rooms for the rest of them, but these days Seungcheol was a bit selective with what he put his efforts into.

Fortunately enough, if one could think of it that way, they did manage to gather the eight members that were in the apartment before heading out to the gym. Hansol, Chan, Minghao and Soonyoung were already there, supposedly training, but apparently collecting trash.

Seungcheol had no idea what he should have expected to see in the gym. Honestly, after knowing them so well, he had learned not to expect anything. And even then, he was still surprised.

“Oh my god!” Junhui’s voice blasted through the wide room as he rushed inside, followed by Seokmin and Mingyu. The three of them had matching looks of glee, with the oldest almost jumping on the spot as he approached the new ‘treasure’.

Only then did Seungcheol actually spot what the commotion was about.

“It’s a… table?” The leader raised a brow, no hurry in his step as he approached the rest of them.

“A ping pong table!” The youngest corrected almost cheerfully.

“You found a ping pong table in the trash?” Wonwoo sounded incredulous, not that Seungcheol couldn’t understand.

“Yeah, and it had balls with it too!” Soonyoung grinned, his eyes turning into two thin lines as he held up the ping pong balls. “We just couldn’t find any rackets, so we improvised.” He now along with Minghao and Chan held up three different items that couldn’t even be called rackets. A rectangular Tupperware lid, a thin square of wood Seungcheol did not know where it came from, and—

“Is that my book?!” Wonwoo exclaimed, enraged.

“Well, yeah, but it’s the best racket—“

“Kwon Soonyoung!”

The rest of them seemed to ignore how the thief hid behind the table as the taller hacker rushed towards him with fire in his eyes. Seungcheol knew them well enough not to be preoccupied. Well, not too preoccupied.

“Who’s playing?” Seokmin asked, looking at Minghao.

“If by playing you mean completely humiliating Chan—“ The Chinese teased, getting a loud “Hey!” In protest from the younger.

“Cheol and I are next.” Seungcheol raised his brows at his friend, surprised and admittedly confused by his offer. If one could call it an offer.

“We are?” He asked, the younger blinking back at him.

“What? Could be fun, right?” Jihoon reasoned with a shrug, looking back at the table. “I don’t know, feel like we could use a little fun.” He mumbled that last bit, as if afraid to be heard.

It’s not that Seungcheol didn’t agree with him. It’s just that out of everybody, the one person he least expected that to come from was his friend. Sure, they enjoyed playing together, they always had. But it was no news that the younger was a bit of a workaholic, and by a bit he meant he’d make an 8 hour shift look like helping your dad at the cash register. Not that Seungcheol was the king of managing work and fun, but he did believe he was at least a bit better.

So yes, it surprised him that Jihoon suggested they’d have a round, just for fun. It surprised him in a good way. Because maybe all those times of getting him out of his office at 3AM and forcibly getting him out of the house were finally paying of. Jihoon was growing in more ways than he had previously noticed, and it made him happy. So much so, that he was pretty sure he had one of his ‘cheesy smiles’ that the younger claimed to hate so much.

If his disgusted reaction was anything to go by, then yes, he definitely had that smile.

“Plus, I was already beating you at soccer, might as well kick your ass here too.” Seungcheol frowned at the other’s teasing, shoving his friend who only chuckled at his annoyance.

Alright, maybe he still had a few ways to grow in.

 

 

——

 

_2016_

 

“This can’t be happening.” Minghao groaned, silently praying for every entity he knew to spare him of this situation.

Unfortunately, it was not working.

“I think it is happening, hyung.” Hansol pointed out the obvious, and if it hadn’t been Hansol, Minghao would’ve backslapped whoever made such needless comment. Ah, to hell with it, the Chinese decided as he slapped the boy’s nape either way. “Hey—“

“I know it is happening, Vernon. What I meant was out of all things that could have gone wrong, the last thing I would’ve expected was the guy to pass out when we need him to open the fucking safe!” Minghao didn’t even realize his voice was growing louder by the end of the sentence, Soonyoung shushing him as he continued to fan the unconscious man with a sheet of paper.

“I did warn you he was a narcoleptic.” Wonwoo voiced out in their ears, only causing the younger to become even more bitter.

Yes, the man was a narcoleptic. Why had they chosen a narcoleptic to help them rob a bank? Well, said narcoleptic, who was actually named Jungshin, was one of the few employees who had access to the main vault. Not only was his retina and fingertips in the system, but Jungshin was also the only one of those selected employees who was on duty during the time they chose to carry out the mission.

Why not choose another time? Well, that’s what Minghao had first suggested. But apparently, due to other circumstances, such as weather, shift changes, and even money transportation, Wednesday morning was the ideal time for the hit.

“You also told us he was on his meds.” Minghao practically bit out, checking the time on his watch. If the guy took too long to report back to his boss, the bank would know something was wrong, and they’d be in big trouble.

“Episodes can still happen under a great amount of stress.” Wonwoo pointed out less than helpfully, while Vernon now gently patted the guy’s round cheeks.

“Do you have anything useful? Like how to wake him up?” Even Soonyoung’s patience was running low now, if his tone was anything to go by.

“We could get Seungkwan to sing for him.” Jihoon muttered bitterly, probably too traumatized from his own experiences.

“We want him to wake up, not kill us.” Minghao pointed out.

“ _Ha ha, hilarious_.” Seungkwan’s voice carried no amusement, and a generous amount of sarcasm, but given their current situation Minghao figured it was fine to make the rest of them suffer as well.

“Do we really need to wake him up?” Hansol wondered, looking at the other two.

The Chinese took a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing deeply to muster the greatest deal of patience to deal with the younger at the moment. “Do I have to remind you why we need him, Vernon?”

“No, no, I know why, but like, do we need him up?” Hansol asked once again, blinking between the two thieves. “I mean, we just need his fingertips and eyes, right? No one said we need him conscious.”

“Well, yeah, but we need him to report back to his boss.” Soonyoung reasoned, though he seemed much more into the idea than Minghao would’ve thought. Honestly, even he was considering it now, given the middle aged man seemed no closer to waking up than he was five minutes ago.

“Yeah, but we still got a little while, right?” Hansol checked his wrist watch. “We can at least start opening the safe. If he wakes up by then, he’ll report back. If not, we can just get the hell out of here.”

It wasn’t the wisest idea. The guy wasn’t easy to manhandle in the first place. They could screw up when trying to get him scanned, or even take too long and end up getting caught. But it was also not the worst idea, especially considering Hansol’s track record.

“…Let’s do it.” Soonyoung decided, taking the lead as he hooked his arms under the man’s armpits. Minghao soon followed, holding the man by the waist and helping the older thief to pick the heavy guy up.

“Are you serious?” Wonwoo asked, incredulous.

“What, you got a better idea?” Minghao gritted out as they struggled to keep the employee up. Fuck, what was his diet? Donuts and bricks?

“…Carry on.” The hacker’s granted, and Minghao could practically hear him shrug.

Like he had imagined, handling the man was not something easy. Minghao was confident in his strength, and despite the other thief not being the strongest guy in the group — nor the second or third— he still had some muscle on him. Even so, carrying an unconscious middle aged man was far different than lifting dumbbells or punching sand bags. The man kept falling to one side or the other, while his pointy elbows continued to jab at them as they moved.

Minghao groaned, finally able to hold the man up close to the retina scan. “Can we choose a lighter target next time, please?”

“Or a conscious one?” Soonyoung suggested as well, sweat starting to form on his temples.

“Oh yes, next time we’ll choose them by their weight. Would you like us to rate them by hairstyle and eye color too?” Jihoon’s voice dripped with sarcasm, an attitude Minghao did not appreciate right now.

“Well, technically he was conscious when we got him.” Hansol reasoned, though neither of them were in the mood for his positivity.

“Vernon, if you wanna help, just open his eyes.” He hoped his bluntness got the boy back on focus.

“Oh yeah, sorry!” The younger hesitated at first, probably unsure of how to actually do what he was supposed to do. Still, he tried.

With his hands oddly positioned on the man’s chin and forehead, Hansol held his face close to the scanner. Minghao grunted in protest as Hansol was practically pushing him back, as if it wasn’t already hard enough to keep the man up. He then used his fingers to open his left eye, which was a scene that Minghao did not hope to see any time soon. Yeah, he had seen much worse things, but somehow this was just… Unsettling.

“It worked!” The younger cheered after the light by the scanner blinked green, notifying them the data had checked out.

“Okay, now the hand.” Soonyoung rushed them as he took the man’s right hand, pressing it against the scanner with as little kindness as possible. This time the light blinked red though, and Minghao was quickly shoving Hansol out of the way.

“Maybe it’s the other one.” Minghao explained as he pressed the left one, sighing in relief once it all checked out. After that, there was a series of metal clanking sounds, some more concerning than others, before the large steel door opened.

It was heavy and slow and a test of Minghao’s patience, but it did finally open, revealing the unclimatically empty safe, except for a silver briefcase in the middle of it.

“Seriously? Was I the only one expecting piles of money?” Soonyoung’s tone was that of a disappointed child.

“We told you the money is inside the case.” Wonwoo pointed out, though Minghao sort of agreed with Soonyoung, it was kind of disappointing. Not that he’d ever admit that.

“Yeah, but I was kinda still expecting big piles of money.”

“Just grab the case and get out.” Jihoon groaned, his level of patience finally matching theirs.

“On it.” Hansol was quick to rush into the safe and grab said case, checking his watch once he joined them outside. “Uuh, we got a minute to wake him up or get the hell out of here.”

The two thieves looked at the man in their arms before sharing a look, nodding once. “Get the hell out.” The two decided at the same time, dropping the man unceremoniously while rushing out of the hidden hallway.

“But what about—“ Hansol asked out, hanging behind and clearly torn between helping the guy out and actually helping himself.

“Leave him! He’ll be fine!” Soonyoung’s order was enough to get Hansol back on track, the three of them running as fast as they could to avoid getting locked in the damn bank.

The Chinese was sure weight wasn’t something that needed to be considered when picking a target, but maybe next time they could at least rule out the ones with the potential to fall asleep mid-heist.

 

 

——

 

 

“When you said you had something to show me, I thought you meant something like another animal video, or a weird-ass meme I don’t understand.” Jihoon admitted as he waited behind him, hands hidden in his borrowed jumper with the hoodie hiding his bright greenish hair. “Not breaking into a store in the middle of the night.”

“It’s not breaking into it if we know the passcode.” Junhui reasoned with a smirk as he continued to jiggle the metal knob of the back door, pushing it up and down while turning the bent hairpin in the keyhole.

“You know the passcode but you don’t have a key.” The shorter pointed out with an arched brow, watching as Jun finally managed to push the door open, hinges whining from the effort.

“Having a key seemed excessive.” The Chinese explained when the alarm started its warning beeps. In no time, The taller pushed in the four digit code, grinning as the beeping was silenced.

“I think we have different definitions of excessive.” Jihoon muttered, though Junhui still heard it. It only made him grin wider though, the other’s attitude always managing to amuse him.

“Come on,” Junhui took the shorter by the wrist, gently tugging him along the narrow hallway. Through another door, thankfully unlocked, he guided the younger into the awaited destination. “Da-raaam!”

“…I can’t see anything.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry!” An embarrassed chuckle escaped him and he was soon feeling around the walls, only to find a light switch. “There we go.” The light was low and coming only from the corners of the room, some built-in warm bulbs that provided a nice atmosphere while also being too dark for anyone outside to see much, yet they still lit enough to show what was inside said room.

It was a music store, to be more precise. One of the walls was decorated with guitars, while the other held a surprisingly beautiful collection of drum cymbals. On the center, though, big and old and beautiful, was a white piano. Well, Junhui assumed it used to be white. Now, however, it was a shade closer to gray or cream, especially near the corners. He only found it more beautiful, though.

Finally taking his eyes off the dear instrument, he settled on the shorter boy, giggling a bit at his stunned expression. He hoped he had done the right thing, honestly sometimes it was hard to know with these things, but he continued nonetheless.

“Come on!” Jun prompted, rushing towards the piano and beckoning the other with a wave. The matching white stool cringed as he sat on it, but it was still sturdy. “I tuned it last night, it’s all good.”

On the contrary to his, Jihoon’s steps were slow. Hesitant, if Jun would’ve guessed. Still, he eventually made his way to the instrument, joining the other on the stool. His fingers ran over the keys, yet they didn’t touch. He seemed scared, or overwhelmed, maybe even both. Junhui wasn’t sure, but he felt it was a good thing.

“What is this?” The hacker’s voice was low and monotone, trying to keep in something Jun didn’t know of. It was okay, he wouldn’t push. He never pushed.

He thought of making a silly joke, of stating the obvious fact that it was a piano. However, the situation didn’t seem to call for jokes.

“I found this shop years ago.” Junhui admitted, looking back down at the black and white keys to keep himself from staring at the younger for too long. “I used to play when I was a kid, back in China. It helped me calm down. Then after I got in the facility, I never really got to play again.” Music wasn’t exactly a required skill for their purpose.

“When did you start again, then?” Jihoon’s fingers finally touched the tiles, though they refrained from pressing down. It was like a child finding the sea for the first time. Cautious, hesitant, curious.

“Not long after I joined you guys,” Jun began with a small smile, feeling the other’s eyes on him. “It was out of coincidence, really. I was just out late, and I saw this piano just, sitting here, alone. And it looked so beautiful, like, it wasn’t fair that it was here all alone, you know?” He chanced a glance at the other’s eyes, wondering if his rambling made any sense. Perhaps he was only imagining it, but he did see a glimpse of understanding in them.

“Anyway,” Junhui continued, “I couldn’t get it out of my head. Then one night I was able to find out the passcode, and yeah.” He shrugged, finally pushing down on a few notes, just for fun. C, G, E, then an F, followed by D and then E once again, only to go back to C. It was nothing, but it felt good.

“Doesn’t explain why you just decided to break into a music shop.” Jihoon mumbled.

“You didn’t ask why.” Junhui pointed out, his grin growing a bit softer.

“Why?” The younger asked then, looking up at him with full eyes that were barely visible in the poor lighting, yet still beautiful.

Junhui parted his lips, tongue running over them in thought. Why? “It was my escape.” He confessed, before looking down at the keys. “Not from you guys, just…”

“Yourself?”

Perhaps it shouldn’t surprise him that the other knew, but it still made his chest tighten with something that wasn’t entirely bad. The taller nodded, now his left hand joining the right as he played the chords that sounded right.

“The piano calms me.” Junhui continued to explain, the made up song shifting into one he knew from when he was a kid. “Sometimes I feel a bit helpless, like whatever I do or say isn’t the right thing, or like things are going too fast and I don’t know where to look.” He didn’t know if he made any sense, but he stuck with his words.

“The piano slows everything down. I don’t know what’s going on outside, I don’t know who needs me and who doesn’t, I don’t need to know.” The Chinese explained, teeth tugging on his own bottom lip. “I just need to know what note to play next.”

From the corner of his eye, he could see Jihoon nodding gently, as if he understood. Again, maybe he did.

“So this is where you came?” The hacker wondered, voice a tone softer than usual. “Those times we couldn’t find you, after he left.”

Junhui hummed, nodding as well. “I thought you wouldn’t notice.” He smiled small. He hoped they’d just assume he was out doing something else, not just moping over his feelings. Which was why he often passed by the grocery shop afterwards, or the bakery. To have an excuse.

“Not everybody did.” Jihoon’s reply caused a certain warmth to spread through his chest, making it hard to stop the grin that formed on his lips.

Not everybody noticed, but he did.

“I used to turn off my phone, but I started getting scared you guys might need me.” Junhui confessed. “Though I figured that’s when I started feeling better.”

Jihoon hummed, seemingly satisfied with his addition. “You don’t disappear anymore, though.” He pointed out, So he truly did notice, ah.

“I guess I don’t need it as often, anymore.” Junhui reasoned, now gently nudging the boy with his elbow. “Come on.” He invited instead., head nudging towards the piano as he lowered his left hand. He had spent so long talking about himself and Jihoon hadn’t even played yet.

Hesitance was back in the other’s eyes as they looked back down on the marble tiles. “It’s been years, though.”

“It’s okay. You can play the chords while I play the melody, hm?” Junhui suggested, trying not to get too excited as Jihoon finally began testing the keys with his left hand. “There’s no one here to know if you do wrong, anyway.”

“There’s you.” Jihoon pointed out with a slight glare.

“I’ll just pretend I didn’t see it.” Junhui whispered back, earning a hint of a smirk from the other, which for him was more than enough.

He waited a moment or two, while the boy tested the keys. He was still hesitant, still scared, but slowly he began playing a chord progression. Junhui wasn’t sure if he recognized it, it sounded familiar yet new, in a way. But most of all, it sounded good. Soft, deep, a bit sad, even. Raw, but still delicate. Real, but still beautiful.

Like Jihoon.

Slowly, he joined him. Trying out a simple melody that probably paid no justice to the one in the younger’s head, but he tried nonetheless. And for a while, it was just that. Just music filling the room. Soothing, beautiful music. And with time, Jihoon carefully took over, Junhui discretely sliding his hand down to the stool so not to startle the boy, who was finally gaining some confidence back.

“They said it was a waste of time.” His words were lower in volume than the song playing, but still as blunt as always.

Junhui blinked, not having expected that set of words. Though after taking a moment to process them, the Chinese hummed, watching him. “You mean your parents?”

“Mhh.” The shorter hummed in return, keeping his eyes on the keys. “They’re the ones who put me in the classes in the first place, you know? When I was a kid, too.” Jihoon continued, his fingers becoming more confident as well. “And I loved it. I know I don’t love a lot of things, but playing, I…” He wet his lips, brows pushing together in concentration. “It felt right.”

Jihoon paused then, both the song and his words. His head was lowered, fingers twitching slightly. It hurt Junhui, though he wasn’t even sure why. He just knew the boy looked in pain, and it hurt him.

“But they decided it was a waste of time, out of nowhere. I’d be going into college, I’d probably be studying something they wanted me to study, and there was no point in playing the piano when I’d probably become a lawyer or some shit eventually.” As hurtful as his words were, his voice carried no anger, no bitterness now. He just sounded tired, and that somehow hurt Junhui even more.

“It’s not a waste of time.” Junhui wasn’t sure if Jihoon believed his parents or not, but he felt like he should say it nonetheless. He didn’t even noticed he had taken the boy’s right hand, squeezing it gently. “Whatever makes you happy, or even makes you feel just a tiny bit better, is never a waste of time, Jihoonie. Ever.”

Jihoon finally looked up at him now, eyes big and round and more innocent than he had ever seen them. He seemed both surprised and confused, brows once again pulling together. “Is that why you brought me here?”

Jun hummed in agreement. “We all need somewhere to run to. This is my place, and I guess I just wanted it to be yours too. I just…” Junhui rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, trying to find the right words, which was often so difficult. “You’re always keeping an eye on everybody, Jihoonie, but you only got so many eyes.” Junhui explained, hoping to make some sense. “Let me keep an eye on you, then. If you can’t take care of yourself, I wanna be the one to take care of you. I wanna be the place you run to.”

Jihoon seemed perplexed, but a small smile took over his lips, so honest and rare, Junhui wished he could take a picture.

“I never understood how you saw the world, but I think I kinda get it now.” Jihoon confessed, though it was Jun’s turn to be confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I thought we were so different, but I think it’s not like that at all.” Jihoon explained. “I think we both expect nothing from people, you know? But I do it not to become disappointed.” Not to get hurt, Junhui translated in his mind. “You do it to be surprised. I guess I thought it was just innocence, when actually it’s pretty fucking brave.” He chuckled lightly, lowering his head a bit.

“Ah, it’s not really brave.” Junhui admitted, feeling a bit flustered. He didn’t think he was brave at all. “I just feel like disappointment is a risk you can take when being pleasantly surprise is the other possible outcome.” He grinned. “It’s not hard, Jihoonie, you just gotta have a little faith on people. You deserve a little surprise now and then, too.”

Junhui expected Jihoon to snort, or laugh, or even become incredibly embarrassed, and that was fine. He didn’t know if the younger agreed with his way of thinking, or if he even understood, but it didn’t matter. Any reaction was fine, because Junhui had been honest and he knew that whatever Jihoon’s reaction was, it would never be ill-intended.

However, the last thing Junhui would’ve imagined to happen would be to feel the younger’s lips on his own, soft and chaste and so quick that the moment he realized what had happened, Jihoon was already pulling back, with cheeks red even under the dim light and eyes still aimed at him.

“I love you too, Junnie.” The uttered words were so soft and happy and honest, and Junhui wanted to be so cool about it. He wanted to act warm and not make a scene and just enjoy the moment. Yet his heart was beating so hard and his throat was swallowing nothing and he couldn’t hold back the wide grin that took over him, his cheeks almost hurting and toes curling in his shoes.

Jihoon loved him.

He knew that, he knew Jihoon loved him, but still, Jihoon loved him. And he said it, and he kissed him, at it wasn’t the first time they had kissed but it still felt as such, because Jihoon was never one to do much PDA and it never bothered Junhui, but he still did it. He loved him.

Junhui giggled a bit to himself, and he knew Jihoon was snickering at his overreaction, but he didn’t care. He was happy.

Jihoon was happy.

They were happy.

And even when the younger invited him to play with him again, they stayed close together, with two of their hands in the piano and the other two laced together, which was a bit awkward but it didn’t matter. Because it felt right.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS AND HITS AND COMMENTS AND EVERYTHING REALLY THANK YOU!!  
> AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE SRSLY I NEVER MEANT FOR THIS TO TAKE SO LONG-
> 
> Although I'm trying not to apologize as much, I do wish to apologize because I meant to say I was going on a trip for a week and that's why it'd take longer than usual to update, but I completely forgot orz So I'm sorry!
> 
>  
> 
> ~~Also look how happy everyone is ohoho~~
> 
>  
> 
> A few notes:
> 
> Shout out to Evelyn who somehow GUESSED WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER WTH but I hope you did enjoy it ok-  
> AND!!!! xxhaohaoxx is being SUPER AWESOME and translating this fic to Spanish so if you speak Spanish and would like to read it, [here](https://my.w.tt/OxVhRA3WqN) it is! 
> 
> Also I WROTE ANOTHER THING!! If you wanna read a silly CALL CALL CALL au one shot, you can check it out [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875133/comments/168038481)
> 
> Like always, I always reread before posting, however something always slips by so if you see a typo, please don't be afraid to tell me!!
> 
> And feel free to let me know what you think about this fic!! I always love reading your comments, they make me so happy and give e such motivation, thank you!


	30. I don’t even know, I need a hand to hold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hao, calm down!” Mingyu insisted, holding the other tighter. “What the hell happened?!”
> 
> “I have no idea!” Hansol spoke as he seemed to help the stranger up to a sitting position, using a rag to wipe the blood off his face. Mingyu hadn’t even seen him run to the kitchen to get it, and maybe some other time he would’ve worried if the younger had gotten one of his good kitchen cloths. “I was playing my game and suddenly hyung was jumping on him—“
> 
> “Don’t help him! Don’t help that fucker!” Minghao practically snarled, though he did stop struggling a bit, perhaps afraid he’d hurt Mingyu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look
> 
> Plot

 

_\--/05/2017_

 

“You forgot the salt.” Mingyu rolled his eyes at Minghao’s comment, ignoring him as he poured the beaten eggs into the square pan.

“I did not forget the salt.” The taller argued, tilting the pan as the yellow mix of eggs and chives spread over the sizzling surface. “I’m pouring soy sauce later.”

“Soy sauce isn’t salt.” The younger pointed out, standing next to him and peering over his shoulder a bit too invasively.

“No, but it’s _salty_. If I put salt in now, it’s gonna get too salty.” Mingyu had no idea why he bothered explaining, knowing Minghao was probably only doing that to get on his nerves. It wouldn’t work though, as he instead focused on rolling up the omelette to pour more egg in the pan.

“But what if I don’t want soy sauce on mine?”

“Then you can put salt on yours, Hao.” Mingyu groaned in annoyance, and though his eyes were fixed on the food, he could practically sense the other smirking. “Why are you here, anyway? Go play with Hansol or something.”

“Well, sorry for trying to keep my boyfriend company.” The taller could roll his eyes at the younger’s dramatic antics, but he couldn’t fully hide the smirk that twisted up the corner of his lips.

“Your boyfriend, huh?” He teased lightheartedly.

It wasn’t really like Minghao to use that word. They were dating, yes, seeing each other, whatever else they liked to call it. But they didn’t use the word boyfriend much. Not that they were against it, the two had just never discussed it. They were… Them. Boyfriends or not, it didn’t matter.

But Mingyu had to admit he didn’t hate being called that.

“Well, if you’re not, then I really misread all of this.” Minghao snickered, once again properly ruining any sort of romantic moment they could have had together.

It was okay, Mingyu liked it better that way anyway.

“I just I thought you didn’t like that word.” Mingyu pointed out as he finally poured in the rest of the egg mixture, not ignorant to the pair of arms that now slid around his waist.

“I don’t _hate_ it.” The Chinese admitted, resting his chin against the taller’s shoulder with a hum. “It’s just kinda weird. I don’t know, feels like I’m a kid, you know? This is my _boyfriend_.” Minghao pronounced the last word in a slightly higher, whinier pitch, getting a chuckle out of the other. “But it does make things easier.”

“We could think of another word.” The Korean suggested, hearing the doorbell go off in the background. “Like sweetheart, or honey.”

Minghao’s disgust was audible in a scoff. “God, don’t make me hurl on the food.”

The doorbell rang once again while Mingyu snickered. Then again, and again. Whoever was at the door clearly lacked any patience.

“Hansol, can you get the damn door?!” Minghao called out, the annoying bell ringing repeatedly.

“I can’t, I’m in the middle of a battle!” The American replied, clearly sounding distracted.

“So what? You’ll lose anyway!”

“Being mean won’t get me to open the door, you know.” The younger pointed out with a less than bothered tone.

“Can one of you just get the damn door?!” It was Wonwoo’s voice that boomed through, and though he was probably the farthest away, his voice sounded the loudest.

“Just go get the door.” Mingyu shoved the shorter gently. “You know Hansol won’t drop that thing for at least another hour.”

“I can’t believe you’re siding with him.” Minghao gasped, visibly offended as he let go of him with a disgruntled expression. “And I called you my _boyfriend_.”

“ _Go_.” Mingyu insisted with a chuckle, turning the other and nudging him out of the kitchen.

“I swear to God, if Soonyoung lost his keys again I’m changing the locks and keeping him out.” He called before finally leaving the kitchen, and Mingyu took the silence to focus back on the meal.

The cook had already finished the rolled omelette, setting it aside before turning off the stove. Mingyu only paused when he heard a loud thud and some shouting coming from the living room, though he didn’t really spare more than a glance at the kitchen door. It wasn’t quite unusual for them to become a bit noisy, after all. In fact, it was a bit too common for his taste — and the neighbors’.

However, what did get his full attention was Hansol’s rushing into the kitchen with big round eyes and brows up high behind his fringe. “Hyung, help! Minghao-hyung—“

Mingyu didn’t even wait for the boy to finish, his exasperated tone and panicked look letting him know it couldn’t be anything good. The taller dropped whatever he was doing to rush out after the other, spotting two people fighting by the door.

Well, one of them was fighting. Minghao was sitting on top of whoever that was, Mingyu could only assume it was a guy, throwing punch after punch in a mad frenzy.

“The fuck— Hao!” Mingyu called out, not wasting any time in pulling the boy back and away from the victim.

The feat wasn’t easy, though. Even as he hooked his arms under the younger’s from behind and pulled him up to his feet, he continued to kick and fight, trying to escape the taller’s hold.

“Let me go!” The Chinese shouted with more anger than Mingyu had heard from him in years, causing something to drop in his stomach. What the hell had gotten into him?

“Hao, calm down!” Mingyu insisted, holding the other tighter. “What the hell happened?!”

“I have no idea!” Hansol spoke as he seemed to help the stranger up to a sitting position, using a rag to wipe the blood off his face. Mingyu hadn’t even seen him run to the kitchen to get it, and maybe some other time he would’ve worried if the younger had gotten one of his good kitchen cloths. “I was playing my game and suddenly hyung was jumping on him—“

“Don’t help him! Don’t help that fucker!” Minghao practically snarled, though he did stop struggling a bit, perhaps afraid he’d hurt Mingyu.

“Hao, please—“ Mingyu tried again, only then finally focusing on the boy on the floor. He was a mess, covered in bruises and cuts, some of which couldn’t have been formed in the span of mere minutes. However, the blood that flooded from his nose was clearly his boyfriend’s work.

That’s not what shocked the taller into silence, though. As Hansol wiped the dark red fluid, his face became clear, and Mingyu suddenly found himself breathless. He couldn’t speak, he couldn’t think, and he surely couldn’t understand how the hell _that man_ was sitting in front of them right then and there.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Wonwoo suddenly asked, coming out of the office looking equal parts annoyed and concerned. It didn’t take him long to approach the scene, his slanted eyes widening at the sight and soon frowning in distain. “You piece of shit—“

“Hyung!” Hansol jumped up to his feet and stopped the older before he too could attack their visitor, if they could even call him that. The confusion was clear on the younger’s face as he stood before his friend, shielding the man on the ground from him. “Can someone tell me what’s going on?” He pleaded, and though the question was for all of them, he looked directly at Mingyu.

“Ming Ming.” The tallest practically whispered, wetting his lips. “That’s Ming Ming.” He explained, nudging his head at the man on the ground.

It had been years since he had seen him, but he still remembered. Apart from the bloody nose and the collection of bruises, he still looked the same. A different haircut, but it didn’t matter. That was Ming Ming, right there in their living room, causing a nauseous feeling to travel up his esophagus.

“Ming Ming?”

All heads turned to the new voice, soft and insecure. Jun and Jeonghan had finally joined them, both clearly shocked from what they encountered in the living room. The Chinese in particular wore an expression Mingyu couldn’t decipher. Whether he was scared, surprised, or even relieved, the younger couldn’t tell. Perhaps he couldn’t figure it out himself either.

Mingyu rubbed at his forehead, wondering how everything went to shit in just a span of, what? Five minutes? Ten? Minghao must’ve sensed his apprehension, given he didn’t try to pounce at Ming Ming even after he was released.

“What are you doing here?” Junhui’s voice was firmer now, cold even. He was trying to distance himself from whatever was going on, his eyes unusually sharped and aimed at the boy that now pushed himself up against the wall.

Mingyu wouldn’t be completely honest if he were to say if that didn’t somewhat scare him. It was odd to see Jun, of all people, acting so cold and guarded. It did make him proud in some way, to know his friend wasn’t kind and welcoming to the man who hurt him. However, it was still unsettling.

“For help…” Ming Ming finally spoke, his voice breathy and heavy as he leaned against the wall. If that was all from Minghao’s attack, the boy was in worse shape than he remembered.

“You got some nerve to come here to ask for help.” Wonwoo practically snarled, and Mingyu didn’t miss the way Jeonghan stepped slightly in front of Junhui in a protective manner.

“Not me…” The intruder sighed, using his dark sleeve to messily wipe at the blood that continued to stubbornly seep down his nostrils. “I came to help you.”

While Wonwoo scoffed, Mingyu quickly grabbed Minghao’s wrist, knowing his first reflex would probably be to throw another punch at the man.

“And why would you do that?” It was the youngest’s turn to speak now, Hansol’s voice filled with suspicion.

Ming Ming coughed roughly into his elbow before standing up straight, or trying his best in doing so. He seemed to have some difficulty with stepping on his right leg, so he leaned more on the left one. “Because you’re gonna need all the help you can get.”

“And who the fuck—“ Wonwoo was about to spit out, before he was suddenly interrupted.

“Vernon.” Jeonghan spoke out, his tone one that he would normally use on undercover missions. Ones where he would act as if he knew what he was doing, where he needed to intimidate the hell out of anyone that came his way. Perhaps this was what he was trying to do now.

“Go find Seungcheol and the rest, get them here as fast as you can.” It wasn’t a second after Jeonghan’s order that the younger was rushing out the door, sneakers barely on his feet and keys grabbed hastily on his way out.

“Minghao, Mingyu, search him for wires, bugs, anything.” The older continued, and for someone who was often told he’d be a terrible leader, he wasn’t doing that bad of a job.

As Mingyu moved with Minghao to pat the boy down for any wires, Jeonghan stepped closer, his almond eyes now sharp and aimed deep into the intruder’s.

“And _you_ ,” Even when the words weren’t aimed at him, Mingyu still felt a shiver traveling down his spine. And perhaps a little selfish pleasure in his heart as well, for seeing the other being treated like that. “You are not to speak another word until Seungcheol gets here. You don’t speak until you’re spoken to, you don’t move until you’re told to move. You understand?”

A simple nod was what they got from the boy, and that was all they needed.

 

 

——

 

 

It didn’t take long for Seungcheol to get to their apartment, but he was in the last group to arrive. He had been with Jisoo and Jihoon about ten minutes away, getting supplies that ranged from hard drives to medical supplies when he got the call from Hansol. In the exact same moment, they dropped whatever they were doing and tried to get back as soon as possible.

“We’re here.” The leader announced as they rushed through the door, Jeonghan’s head quickly turning to the sound. In the shortest moment, he went from someone in control to someone in complete panic, then back to the one in control.

The fleeting fear in his eyes was enough for Seungcheol to reach for the man first, cupping his cheeks and pulling him closer, only to press their foreheads together, as if to ground the other a bit. He barely had time to pull back before Jisoo took his place, mumbling a small “Are you okay?”, to which Jeonghan replied with a nod.

“Where is he?” At the leader’s question, Jeonghan simply nodded towards the coffee table.

There, sitting on the short wooden table with Seokmin opening a first aid kit next to him, was no one other than Ming Ming. Seungcheol recognized him, yet he didn’t look like the same guy as before. Not like the one he saw in the hospital, and definitely not like the one he had once known as Junhui’s friend.

He looked beaten, not only physically, but mentally, as if he had been through hell and back. Maybe he had, but that was the least he deserved. The very least.

Seungcheol spared a glance at Jihoon, who was frozen midway through the living room. His eyes bore on Ming Ming, a stare that carried as much anger as it did fear. The only thing that seemed to snap him out of it was the thought of Junhui, Seungcheol would assume, as the hacker quickly searched for the other before joining him a few generous feet away from the intruder. Seungcheol decided to give them some privacy then, focusing back on Ming Ming.

“Damn Hao, you did some number on him.” Soonyoung pointed out as Seokmin took off the man’s jacket, following with his shirt, revealing all the arrays of purples and yellows that covered his now pale skin.

“It wasn’t all him.” Mingyu defended, standing with the other behind the couch.

“He’s right.” Seokmin hummed, examining the bruises before looking up at the male. “These don’t look new. Not all of them, at least.”

Ming Ming simply turned his head away, causing some anger to bubble up in the leader’s stomach.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” He raised a defiant brow.

“I was told not to speak until spoken to.” His reply was calm and even obedient, yet it still made Seungcheol grit his teeth. He truly couldn’t blame Minghao for attacking the man earlier.

“You need to tell us how this happened.” Seokmin explained, trying uselessly to wipe the dry blood off the guy’s skin while he kept squirming away.

“I don’t need any help.” He insisted, causing Seokmin to sigh.

“Look, I’m one of the very few people here who doesn’t wanna kill you and has medical training, so I suggest you let me do what I do.” Seokmin’s ultimatum was something far from normal of him, but Seongcheol knew the younger had the same kind of distain for this man that up until now was a stranger to him. If anything, he could only commend him for staying so professional.

And it seemed to work, given Ming Ming soon resigned and let Seokmin treat his wounds, starting with the bloody nose that had been a courtesy from Minghao. “Why are you doing this?” His voice was tired but empty of any stubbornness now. Seungcheol took it as true confusion.

“Jun asked us to.” Jisoo explained, arms crossed as he approached the back of the couch as well, the furniture serving as a metaphorical barrier between them. “So if you have any ounce of respect left for him, you’ll let us help.”

That seemed to shut him up properly, his eyes scanning the room to find Junhui again. It was only then that the leader also spared him a glance. What he saw hit him in a frightening manner.

Junhui stood a bit further away from the boy than the rest of them, his skin pale as paper. He kept fidgeting, kept clearing his throat quietly while he looked back and forth from the boy to the floor. It was as if he was trying to keep himself sane, and was struggling far too much. Jihoon too looked as if he was at a loss of what to do, but he stayed by his side, one hand holding tightly to the taller’s while he whispered words Seungcheol couldn’t make out.

Finally, the leader focused back on the guy on the table.

“Vernon said you’re here to help.” The leader began, approaching the couch and breaking the barrier. If someone was to face him, he had to be the one to do it. He sat right across from the other, arms crossed in a position of power and little patience. “Why should we believe you?”

“Why else would I be here?” Ming Ming asked back, staring into Seungcheol’s eyes with a look that carried no threat.

“I don’t know. To trick us? To sell us out?” The list could go on, but they didn’t have the time and Seungcheol didn’t want to put any of them through that.

“I came on my own, ask any of them.”

“He was clean.” Wonwoo agreed practically against his own will. “We checked, _thoroughly_.”

“I knew the risk I was taking by coming here.” Ming Ming continued, tone as serious as ever. “You’d either let me in or beat me to a pulp. Or in this case, both, I suppose.”

“Fine, so let’s say you’re saying the truth, why now?” Seungcheol asked out, raising his chin. “What caused such a change of heart to make you want to help us, after all you did?”

The implied accusation made the boy flinch, but Seungcheol wouldn’t fall for cheap tricks.

“Where do I start?” The boy asked out, pushing his hair back.

“Start from the beginning.”

 

 

——

 

 

It turned out the beginning wasn’t as far back as Wonwoo had expected. Ming Ming didn’t get into the details of why he left, or what he did afterwards, instead jumping right into the time he had found SIDEM. Or they found him, from what he had understood.

They’d told the Chinese he’d work mostly with security, though the boy was smart enough to figure out his skills wouldn’t be reserved only for that. Wonwoo couldn’t judge much, not for that, when Minghao and Junhui had come from a similar background. The boy was trying to get a job wherever he could find, even if it wasn’t the cleanest one.

They convinced him easily, and for a while it was a good deal. Keep some secrets, protect some people, beat some others, don’t ask questions. That was until they began getting curious about Seungcheol’s groups, with them popping up in their radar more often than not.

So it turned out that, yes, SIDEM knew they’d be in the Casino. It was all planned.

“I didn’t even know their connection to you, but now I guess they already knew about me.” The boy continued to explain while he put his shirt back on.

“What else did you do for them?” Seungcheol wondered, though something else was scratching under his skin.

“Come on Seungcheol, that’s not what you wanna know.” Ming Ming sighed, as if he was tired of waiting. Good, Wonwoo was tired too.

“Did you sell us out?” The hacker asked from where he sat now, next to Seungcheol on the sofa. Jisoo sat on the other side of the leader, while the rest gathered behind them. Except for Seokmin and Soonyoung, of course. The former still tending to some of the bruises on the intruder’s skin, the latter staying close as a figurative guard dog, just in case.

“Wonwoo—“

“No.” Ming Ming wet his lips, as if measuring his words. Wonwoo remember how he’d do that when talking to them, back then about useless things like tv shows or their favorite pokemon. Wonwoo hated that now. “Not entirely, I guess.”

“You either sold us out or not.” Mingyu pointed out in an unfamiliar sharp tone.

“I told you, they already knew about you. I’ve got a feeling that’s how they found me in the first place. Hell knows how they knew I was ever in the group.” The Chinese shrugged, hiding a wince Wonwoo still managed to see. Good.

Yes, he was bitter. And angry, and resentful, and he’d take any bit of pain from the other with a good dose of satisfaction. The only reason why he hadn’t jumped on him himself was because of the promise they had made to Jun.

“When you started showing up more, taking more jobs, they started asking questions. They weren’t obsessed or anything, but a bit too interested in you all.” Ming Ming explained. “I told them I knew nothing about you, had left the group for years already, but then they got more insisting, more… Persuasive.”

“And what? You started answering questions because they got a bit rough?” Minghao raised a brow.

“They threatened to turn me to the facility.” The other put it bluntly. “You may not know, but although they don’t care much about finding deserters, they do love making an example out of us.”

Wonwoo pressed his lips together. He didn’t like this at all. It didn’t matter what they threatened, Ming Ming should’ve never given them what he did. He should’ve never done what he did. Wonwoo had already painted him as the bad guy, and he didn’t like him trying to wipe the canvas clean.

“How much do they know?” Jihoon asked, because that was what mattered at the moment.

“They know who was here while I was.” Ming Ming confessed. “They know your names and your faces. The new ones, except for that kid, they don’t know.” He continued, gesturing towards Hansol. That made sense.

“What about—“

“They don’t know about your families.” Ming Ming interrupted, and even though Wonwoo wasn’t even sure that was what Soonyoung was about to ask, it sure was relevant. “Not from me, at least.”

“Why not?” The older hacker asked through gritted teeth.

“I didn’t see how it should be relevant to them. Told them I didn’t know.” Ming Ming looked straight at him, and once again, Wonwoo could see the boy he knew over three years ago. And again, he hated recognizing him. “I know there’s no excuse, and I’m not here for apologies. They had me in the palm of their hand with that facility shit. I either answered them or had those pieces of shit come after me, so I figured as long as I stayed there and kept an eye on things, it wouldn’t matter if I told them a thing or two.” He smirked, though instead of his usual smugness, it carried something closer to regret. “That’s what I thought, until, you know.”

“Until what?” Seokmin’s curiosity was audible now, but they needed no verbal answer.

Ming Ming’s eyes quickly found Junhui’s, and Wonwoo felt his hatred for the former come back full force.

“What you told me that night at the hospital,” Seungcheol spoke carefully. “Was any of it true?”

The younger’s eyes lingered on Jun for a few moments longer before he lowered then, resting one elbow on his knee while rubbing the back of his head. “Yes.” His voice was heavier now, tired. “What I did… They’d told me to give you a warning. Hurt… Hurt one of you, so you’d know not to mess with them. I guess it was more to test me, too.”

“Test you on what?” Chan wondered.

“My loyalty, my feelings, who fucking knows.” He sighed once more, looking up yet again. “I didn’t know…” The boy gulped, wetting his lips once again as his resolve slowly faded, eyes finding his old friend. “I didn’t know it’d be you.”

As soft as Ming Ming voice had been, it seemed to silence the entire room. Not that any of them were talking before, but now it was as if even the sounds they couldn’t control had stopped. On sheer instinct, Wonwoo turned to look at his friend, and apparently he wasn’t the only one.

The boy still stood in the same place, now with eyes wide and set on his Ming Ming. The attention seemed to snap him out of it though, and much like a scared animal, Junhui shifted and hid into himself before shaking his head. Pressing a palm to his forehead, against the frown between his brow, he sighed, and quickly darted towards one of the rooms.

Wonwoo half stood to follow his friend, but Jeonghan was quick to put a hand on his shoulder. _‘I’ll go’_ , said the look in his eyes and the gentle smile he bore before rushing out towards the other.

“I was there too.” Minghao spoke then, trying to keep his voice stable as he stared down at the boy on the coffee table. “I got there while you were still there, why didn’t you hurt me too?” He spoke as if it was a dare, as if he was resented over it.

“They only needed a warning, I didn’t want to go beyond that.” Ming Ming answered, fingers laces now and twitching nervously. “…And Junhui would’ve never forgiven me if I hurt any of you.”

Wonwoo swallowed dryly, shaking his head. “You said you weren’t here for apologies.”

“I’m not, but I had already hurt him enough.” Ming Ming pointed out, frowning. “I couldn’t do that to him, I couldn’t…”

“You fucking kidding me?” Minghao let out, eyes now wild and fingers gripping the back of the couch a bit too hard.

“Hao—“ Mingyu tried calming him down with a hand on his shoulder, but it was quickly shrugged off.

“No, you _left_ him.” The younger spat. “You left him, then you hurt him, and then you left him again. And _that’s_ what you couldn’t do?” Minghao scoffed, clenching his jaw. “Even, even if it’s all true. Even if they were threatening you, I don’t give a shit. No one threatened you to leave in the first place, no one forced you to. Jun was your friend and you walked out on him!”

“That’s not— You don’t know what happened.” Ming Ming seemed more angry than regretful right now, though Wonwoo wondered if it was because Minghao spoke the truth. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t know what it was like—“

“What? You think I don’t know?” The younger let out. “I was in there, I was from that damn place too. And I was fucking alone. I know what it’s like to be raised as a damn weapon, I know what it’s like to feel you can’t trust anybody, and I know that if I had a friend like Jun back then, I’d have never walked out on him!”

“Minghao.” The voice that called him now was soft yet rushed, coming from the bedroom. Jeonghan was the one who peered into the living room, gnawing on his bottom lip. “Could you come here?”

The younger looked distressed, eyes shifting from his friend to the one who seemed like the enemy now. The hesitance was evident in his eyes, the way his brows twitched into an unstable frown.

“He needs you.” It was all Jeonghan had to say to win the boy over, getting him into the room in a matter of seconds. Once again, Wonwoo wished to follow, but he knew that if he called only for Minghao, there must’ve been a reason.

“I still don’t understand,” Seungkwan finally spoke, apparently trying to keep his tone stable. “If… If they were threatening you, why did you come? I mean… Why now?”

Only now Wonwoo’s stare returned to Ming Ming, whose eyes were red rimmed and hair was messy from the amount of times his fingers pushed through it.

“…Because I think they fear you’ve gotten too close to them.” Ming Ming gulped, looking back up at their leader. “And they’re coming after you.”

 

 

——

 

 

Minghao was quick to assess the state of their room. The covers were half pulled off on Junhui’s bed, some of Wonwoo’s books scattered on the floor. Even a few figurines Chan had collected had fallen off their shelf, along with Minghao’s nunchucks.

“You okay?” He asked Jeonghan, looking back at the boy who still stood close to the door.

He seemed surprised by the attention, though he nodded gently. “I’m fine, he was just throwing things around at first, shouting a bit. I figured it was best to let him get it out.”

The Chinese even wondered how they hadn’t heard anything from the living room, if they were too deep into whatever was going on over there to even hear it. Thankfully nothing looked broken or damaged. Not that it mattered to him, but he knew the older wouldn’t forgive himself for breaking something of theirs in a moment of no self control.

“He just got like that.” Jeonghan continued, audibly trying to keep his voice steady, trying to hide the concern, or maybe the fear. “I’ve tried talking to him, but I’m afraid of doing more damage than good. I figured… I figured you’d know better, how to help. I think he needs you.”

Speaking of him, Junhui was curled up with his back against the wall, under the window. His face hidden behind his knees, his form shaking with quick breaths and anxiety. Minghao had only seen him like that a few times before, could likely count it on one hand, yet they were still too many.

The younger nodded gently, trying to muster some sort of smile to thank Jeonghan. Not only had the male helped their friend, but he had not hesitated in calling Minghao, and that brought some tiny flick of warmth in his chest.

“I can take it from here.” The thief nodded, hoping Jeonghan would get what he meant.

Thankfully, he did. “I’ll give you some privacy.” The older agreed, glancing once more at the boy on the floor, eyes filled with concern that betrayed his gentle smile.

Once Jeonghan turned to exit the room, Minghao was right by Junhui, kneeling in front of the elder with his brows pulling together.

“Junnie?” He called lowly. “Junnie, it’s Hao, okay?” He spoke in their mother language, like they always did when something like this happened.

The older hadn’t responded, only whimpered, but Minghao was patient. He couldn’t push, he knew better, at times like these.

“Jun, can I touch you? Is that okay?” Minghao waited for any sort of verbal or visual cue. And it came in the form of a small nod, while his face was still hidden from the younger.

Still, Minghao began small. He simply placed a hand on his forearm, thumb rubbing gently up and down his tan skin. He could feel his goosebumps, how cold he felt to the touch, and worry twisted in his gut.

It hurt him. Physically, mentally, emotionally, it hurt Minghao to see his friend like that. It hurt because he knew what it was like to be in such a state, because there was only so much help he could provide, but mostly because he thought they had put this behind them. He thought he’d never have to see Junhui like this again, yet here he was. Because of _that_ guy.

The younger shook his head lightly, keeping the anger away for now. It would be useless.

“I promise you, it’s okay. We’re in the apartment, we’re still here, it’s safe.” It could sound ridiculous, but he knew the taller needed to hear that. To be given some sort of ground.

“Can you try to do something for me?” Minghao asked, hands traveling gently along the other’s arms. “Can you try to take a deep breath?”

He received no return that time, only a few small hitches in the other’s breath, sounding too much like small sobs.

“We can do it together, okay?” Minghao continued, keeping his eyes on the small shape before him. “Can you do it with me, please?” This time, there was a small shift. Perhaps a nod, but it was good enough.

“I’ll start, okay?” And then the younger took a deep breath. Slowly, exaggerating the action a bit, only so the other could hear him. He let out the air slowly as well, gently blowing against the older’s hair.

When he began to take another, Junhui joined him. Or at least he tried. The older wouldn’t breathe as deeply, but he’d try to hold his breath before letting it out, trying his best in between small chokes.

“That’s it…” Minghao hummed before continuing, trying to guide the other into an easier breathing, a calmer state.

Junhui’s frame was shaking less now, his breaths not as heavy, even if his fingertips still trembled. Minghao dared, taking one of the boy’s hands into his, a small attempt to better comfort him.

“M’ sorry.” The voice was tiny and barely audible, but the younger heard it nonetheless.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Minghao reassured him by running his fingers through the mess that was his hair, feeling the locks damp from his sweat. “It’s not your fault, Junnie, I promise. You know I don’t lie, right? It’s not your fault.”

He repeated gently, much like a mantra, hoping his friend would truly believe him. Because he meant every word of it.

Slowly, the older dared to look up, and fuck, if Minghao hadn’t been sitting, he’d be knocked off his feet. Bitterness climbed up his throat as he saw how red the other’s eyes were, how shiny they were from the tears he had shed and the ones that continued to pool along his waterline. His frown looked almost painful, nostrils a bit flared from breathing so hard.

His friend was in pain, and that alone punched a hole through his chest.

“It hurts.” Junhui whispered, as if the scene itself wasn’t enough to tell him that. “It hurts Hao, it hurts.”

Minghao gulped, taking a moment for he feared his voice would not come if he tried to speak right away. “Where does it hurt, Junnie?” Let me help.

“Everywhere.” Junhui practically whimpered. “Everywhere hurts, everything… It hurts, it feels so bad, Hao… I… I don’t know what to do, I don’t know…”

“It’s okay.” Minghao hushed kindly, now taking the other’s face in his palms as his friend slowly let him closer. “It’s okay, alright? I’m here, I’ll figure out what to do, you’re okay…”

“It hurts.” The older repeated, knees slowly falling to the side in a sitting position. His hands now pressed against his chest, clenching his shirt. “I can still feel it, I feel it, Hao.”

Minghao took a glance at the other’s hands, knowing they were close to where Ming Ming had shot him. Concern rang in his ears again, worried if the wounds had somehow reopened. And perhaps against his better judgment, Minghao pulled the other’s shirt up quickly, but nothing was there, no bruises or blood or swelling. Nothing besides the scars.

“I know Junnie, but you’re okay, I promise.” He reassured him, pulling the shirt back down gently and wiping the tears off the other’s face. He didn’t know why he was hurting there, he shouldn’t be, but he’d ask one of the guys to check him again later. “I’m not letting him hurt you again, okay? You don’t need to do anything. That’s why we’re here, to protect you.”

“But I don’t want, I don’t…” The older breathed through the small sobs, sniffling. “I want to help, I want to… But I don’t know… I thought I could, and I want to, but it still hurts. It hurt to see him, and it shouldn’t, and I don’t know what to do anymore, Hao. I wish I could be angry or forgive him or hate him or just help but I don’t—“

“Jun, it’s okay, breathe—“

“I don’t know what to feel.” He let out, eyes ridden with despair and exhaustion. “I don’t know what to feel, but feels horrible and I’m scared.”

Minghao swallowed quietly, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He hated this, he hated this so much. Without thinking, he pulled the other into his arms, hiding him in his chest and pressing his face against his friend’s matted hair.

“You don’t have to know, okay?” Minghao mumbled, one hand with fingers deep into the boy’s dark locks while the other clenched to the back of his shirt. “I’m here, I’ll take care of things, you don’t have to know. I’m here.”

Slowly, he felt Junhui’s arms wrapping around him. Honestly, he had no idea what to do, but as he felt his friend breathing against his shoulder, holding onto him like he was the only thing in that room, he knew it didn’t matter.

“I’ll take care of you.”

 

 

——

 

 

Seungcheol let out a long, deep sigh, as a innocent attempt to clear his mind. Eyes closed, palms pressed against his face, a weak shield against the amount of information he had to process in just one evening. Perhaps it was Karma. All the times he was complaining they were getting nowhere conglomerated into the universe sending a very clear ‘ _Here’s what you missed, oh and also, fuck you_ ’.

Ming Ming, the guy that was once surrounded by mystery, now slept on their living room couch, Wonwoo taking the first watch. Despite all the information he had already shared, they still wouldn’t trust him. They were not fools. Kids? Yes. Stupid? No.

“So what do we know?” Soonyoung was the first one to break the ice. His eyes were unusually tired, evidence from the long day they had all been having. It was far past midnight now too, the two of them joined only by Jihoon, Mingyu and Seokmin; the rest trying to get some sleep. If they were successful or not, Seungcheol wouldn’t know.

“Everything? Nothing?” Seungcheol had the unusual urge to laugh out loud, because he still felt like he had no clue what the hell he was doing, but he refrained. He was their leader, if someone needed to look sane, it was him. “We don’t even know if he’s telling the truth.”

“We can assume.” Seokmin suggested in a rather kind tone. “Like a hypothesis. We can assume he’s telling the truth, see what we know from that, work out what that means and figure out what to do from that. If that doesn’t work, then we can assume he’s wrong and do the same thing.”

“And then?” Mingyu wondered, exhaustion carrying his words.

Seokmin shrugged gently, as if the action was too rude to be done properly at such an occasion. “We measure out the risks and see what’s the best option.” Both his hands were on the table, fingers tugging gently at the hem of his woolen sleeves. “Sometimes when we’re not sure what a patient has, we start treating him for what we think he has. If he responds well, means we were right. If not, we try to see why and work from that.”

It was an odd analogy, unfamiliar to him at least, but Seungcheol nodded, placing his palms on the kitchen table. “That’s the best we got so far.” He reasoned, thankful for the younger’s insight. “So let’s assume.”

“Okay.” Soonyoung cleared his throat, though their voices were still on the lower side, perhaps all fearing the risk of being overheard by the boy sleeping in the living room. “What do we know, if he’s telling the truth?”

“We know they know about us.” Jihoon mumbled, eyes a bit low. “But not our families.”

“Except hyung’s and probably Hansolie’s.” Mingyu reminded them, referring to the man keeping guard in the living room. "And they know we were looking around Blue Lotus."

“We’ll move Hansol’s to a safe location, follow with the vacation plan.” Seungcheol instructed, getting a small nod from the hacker. “I’ll talk to Wonwoo about his.” It was a delicate subject, and making any decision without the younger’s consent would surely be a poor idea.

“Let me do it.” Soonyoung volunteered, with soft yet slightly determined eyes. “Please?”

Seungcheol wondered if the thief really was the best choice, perhaps expecting Mingyu to have offered instead. But when he met the latter’s eyes, he gave a small nod, as if telling him he too thought it was a better idea. “Alright, you can talk to him. Try to see what he’d like us to do, don’t let him be too stubborn.”

“I’ll try.” Soonyoung smiled small, perhaps already knowing that would be a hard thing to achieve, but positive about it nonetheless.

“We also know where they are.” Jihoon reminded them. “Theoretically.”

He’s right. Ming Ming had come from SIDEM, though barely escaped would’ve been a better word. It turned out that the bruises adorning his skin were nothing less than a gift from his previous employers when they attempted to keep him from running. If that’s what they managed to achieve while the boy was escaping, Seungcheol couldn’t even imagine what they could do to someone held captive.

“And we know they won’t stop now until they get to us.” Mingyu added.

“So what do you suggest? We can’t just knock on their front door and ask them to leave us alone.” Soonyoung pointed out, eyes squinting into a small frown.

“No, but we can’t sit around anymore, either.” The leader reasoned. “It’s getting too dangerous, and the more impatient they get, the less predictable they become.”

“But I thought that’s why we were laying low, right? To get them off out hair.” Mingyu’s nose scrunched up a bit.

“Yeah, but we’ve been poking around them too, and they noticed.” Seungcheol crossed his arms, sitting back. “So I think it’s time for less poking and more… Action.”

“And what does that mean?” Seokmin blinked.

“We gotta go after them.” The eldest hummed. “Before they come after us.”

“But how?” The boy frowned a bit, though not out of indignation, it seemed. “I mean, even if we found out a lot more about them, it’s still not a lot, hyung. They seem a lot bigger than us, how do we even go after them?”

“Honestly? I got no fucking clue. I just know we gotta take them out.” The leader sighed yet again. “But I’m not opposed to getting some outside help.” He added, taking a glance at the tallest in the room.

It took him a second to notice the attention on him, soon blinking in confusion. “Uh?”

“You still keep in touch with that Bangtan kid?” It was not the first time Seungcheol had wondered, and perhaps this time it could be somewhat useful.

“Kookie?” Mingyu blinked again before nodding quickly. “I mean, yeah, we got a group chat, so.”

“You have a group chat?” Jihoon raised a brow, incredulous. “With a Bangtan member? You do realise you’re _both_ in secret groups?”

“What? His hacker guy set up the whole thing for us. Encrypted and all that shit.” Mingyu defended, though given Jihoon’s groan, it clearly didn’t mean much to the hacker. “Plus, I’m not the only one in it. Kyeommie and Hao are in it too.”

“Don’t you three have _any_ sense of online secrecy?” Jihoon’s frown was deep and judgmental, but at least he wasn’t looking at his fingers anymore. “And why the fuck is Minghao in it? I thought he hated that dude.”

“Well, we stopped talking when you told us to lay low.” Mingyu defended stubbornly.

“And Kookie is a cool guy, they get along great, actually.” Seokmin reasoned, as if that would actually help.

“Okay, I gotta agree with Jihoon that was kinda stupid of you guys, but that’s not important now.” Seungcheol shook his head, trying to get them back on the subject. “Can you get me a way get in contact with their leader?”

“You’re thinking of getting them to help us?” Soonyoung frowned slightly. “Hyung, you really think they’re gonna go for that? I mean, we don’t really have a lot to offer.”

“We helped that kid once, right?” Seungcheol reasoned, looking over at the other three. “Didn’t you fix his leg or something?”

“Yeah, after Mingyu broke it.” Jihoon pointed out bitterly.

“I didn’t break it!” Mingyu complained, thankfully not raising his voice too much.

“Yeah, he didn’t break it, guys.” Seokmin defended his friend. “It was just a sprain.”

“Seokmin—“ The taller protested.

“Either way, it’s worth a try, get in touch with him.” Mingyu nodded obediently at the leader’s order, despite all his previous whining.

“What else can we do?” Soonyoung asked, as always trying to make himself useful. “In the meantime.”

“Well, we gotta find out how to take them down. I’ll come up with a plan, but I’m taking suggestions.” Seungcheol informed before uncrossing his arms, pushing himself away from the table before getting up. “But for now, get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

And he had a feeling the ones to follow wouldn’t be any different.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always first of all THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND HITS AND EVERYTHING !!!
> 
> This is gonna be a long one so buckle up-
> 
> It came to my attention that this week this fic turned 1 year old.  
> 1 year.  
> ONE YEAR I've been writing this damn thing. THIS WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MAIN PLOT OR BACKGROUND STORIES THIS WAS JUST BECAUSE I WAS BORED AND WITH AN IDEA IN MY MIND AND NOW THIS FUCKING SHIT IS OVER 200K WORDS LONG WHAT HAVE I DONE I'VE CREATED A MONSTER
> 
> ....Anyway,  
> So while I think there is something seriously wrong with me for writing this huge ass monster, I wanted to also thank all the ones who have been reading this huge ass monster.  
> For the ones who were here since the beginning, seriously how did you not just drop this? But also thank you for not dropping it, and I'm sorry for making the chapters longer every time.  
> For the ones who picked it up halfway through or even just now, how the hell did you find the courage to read over 200k of this? Honestly I am both thankful and slightly intimidated but mostly thankful. Thank you so much and I'm sorry if there's no consistency in this.
> 
> but OKAY first I thought well, since this was turning 1 year, I could post smth special. But when I checked the date I published it, the anniversary had already passed, and I have no sense of organization so as you can see I haven't posted anything new.
> 
> HOWEVER !!!!
> 
> I'm still thinking about doing smth for the fact that this is turning 1, and I figured you guys could help me choose or smth. I can't promise I WILL do it, because as I said I have the organizational skills of an oyster, but I can try. Some of these suggestions I am VERY intent on doing either way, this is just to know if I should work on them already or try something else. 
> 
> SO, what would you like me to do?
> 
> 1) do that damn college/mutant au already you lazy ass  
> 2) give us more of the other completely unrelated gang fic (in case you don't know what I'm referring to, here's a [link](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14875133/comments/168038481) )  
> 3) side fic of on the rough more focused on a few characters, like china line joining or jihancheol's relationship, or more of different character's backgrounds/past  
> 4) make a damn twitter so we can get updates (I do already have a personal/fanart acc, but I would like to keep things separate for personal reasons)
> 
> You can choose more than one or nothing or just ignore this entirely, this is just to get to know what you guys would like seeing, etc.
> 
> As always, I always reread before posting these but if you see a typo, please don't be afraid to let me know!!! It would be helping me a lot.
> 
> Also feel free to let me know your thoughts on the fic!! I truly love reading your comments, seriously, I smile like an idiot.


	31. The questions get shorter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two stepped up, Soonyoung scratching the side of his neck. “Alright, but where are we even gonna find a place?” The younger wondered.
> 
> Seungcheol pressed his lips together. He had an idea, a bit of a farfetched one that had great chanced of not working, but it was the only one he had. “I know a guy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this mess while streaming Oh My
> 
> I mean it won't fit at all but at least you'll be streaming Oh My-

 

 

It was nearing the second hour of the day, and Wonwoo was still in his shift. Not by obligation. If anything Seuncheol had come at least three times to offer to switch with him. The hacker suspected it was because the leader was probably having a hard time sleeping, but he appreciated the concern nonetheless. He knew he would also not be able to shut his eyes, if he was in his position

Which was why Wonwoo wanted to keep watch, even if only for a bit longer. Not that it would make much difference, honestly. Even bruised and not in what you would call an ideal condition, Ming Ming was much stronger than him. Or at least more skilled. Wonwoo could only make sure the boy wouldn’t escape, but if a fight were to break out, he would surely be in a disadvantage.

Still, he stayed in the living room, sitting on the arm chair and watching the back of the other boy as he lay sideways on the couch. He’d rather use his time like this, anyway. He felt too awake to consider going to bed, too agitated to close his eyes for longer than a second.

“You should let him switch with you.” Wonwoo blinked at the voice, looking at the boy that now looked over his shoulder. “Seungcheol.”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” The hacker raised a brow, mildly surprised by the lack of sleepiness in his voice.

“Shouldn’t you?”

Wonwoo scowled at the unwelcome yet accurate reply, looking away from the boy and to the window. It wasn’t a particularly pretty night. The moon was not yet full, and the sky was far too ridden with clouds to allow any if its white light through. Instead, what reigned over them hazy glow from the city itself reflecting on the clouds.

“I’m here to keep an eye on you, that’s the last thing I should be doing.” Wonwoo pointed out.

“Yet you won’t actually look at me.” Ming Ming rebottled, and Wonwoo did not appreciate his observation skills.

“Again, what’s the difference to you?” The older pointed out, finally looking back at the other who now shifted onto his back, looking up at the dark ceiling. The only light giving them some awareness of the room came from the tall lamp next to the TV. It was soft and warm, nothing like the day they’d had.

“I don’t know.” Ming Ming confessed. Perhaps he had ran out of smart comebacks. “But I haven’t slept in months, Wonwoo, I doubt I’ll start now. So you’re wasting your time here.”

Wonwoo scoffed. “Then we’re both wasting your time, ‘cause in my opinion, you shouldn’t even get the couch.” Perhaps he was being a bit too bitter, but his filter was as useful as his muscles that night.

“Then let’s make better use of it.” The other reasoned, a seed of suspicion growing in the hacker’s mind.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I know you got questions.” Ming Ming slowly sat up, and even in the darkness of the room Wonwoo could see he struggled to hide his discomfort.

“We already asked what we needed.” Wonwoo reminded him, his fingers lightly picking at the fabric of the chair’s arms.

“But not what you wanted.” The intruder added, feet now planted on the floor and back against the backrest of the couch, his hands taking a lost pillow to hold against his lap. “C’mon, it’s only us here. I won’t tell anyone else.”

“Yeah, because I can trust your word.” Wonwoo half snickered, trying not to get too insulted by the guy.

“Does it matter? You’ll get answers. Whether you choose to believe them or not, that’s your choice.” Ming Ming shrugged lightly. “I know there’s more you want to know.”

There was, plenty more in fact. Wonwoo pursed his lips, jaw teeth gritting a bit. It annoyed him, the fact that the man was right, that he knew he was right. It prickled at his mind and pestered him to no end.

But his curiosity pestered him louder.

“Why did you leave?” Was the first question that came to his mind. There were many others, too many, even. But that one was the one that was at the tip of his tongue, begging to roll out the moment he found himself alone with the guy.

Ming Ming showed half a smirk, not smug nor condescending, but resigned, Wonwoo assumed. As if he knew it was coming sooner or later, and he probably did.

“Did Jun not tell you?” He wondered, brows furrowed slightly.

Wonwoo shook his head, smoothing his fingers over the arm rest, feeling the loose threads he picked at. “He said we wouldn’t understand.” He explained, though he wasn’t sure why. “Even now, he’s still covering for you.”

Ming Ming’s eyes softened a bit at that last comment, or perhaps it was just the lighting. “Figures. I don’t even know how to explain it myself.”

“Try.” It came out a little dry, but Wonwoo still thought he was being very patient, considering the situation.

Ming Ming nodded, fingers now picking at the loose skin around his fingernails. “I guess, when you look at the general picture, I was just… Scared.” He snickered a bit to himself. “In that place, the facility, we spend years without anyone to lean on. Everyone’s competition, or an enemy, or your boss, even. I’d been in there since I was ten, and I just… Forgot.”

Wonwoo wanted him to continue, wanted to know what that had to do with anything, but instead of asking, he waited. Ming Ming seemed to be taking some time to organize his thoughts, but in the quiet of the night, time barely seemed like anything measurable.

“I forgot what it was like to have a family, to have friends. Jun was all I had at that place. We were our own family, and that, that I knew how to do.” The boy wet his lips, looking down at his fingers as he explained. “I knew how to be his friend, I mean, Jun made it so fucking easy, you know?” He smiled small, and Wonwoo couldn’t say he disagreed.

“That was all I knew. How to take care of him, how to let him take care of me. So even if our world was completely fucked up, it was fine, because I knew what I was doing. I couldn’t trust anyone else, but I could trust him.” Ming Ming sighed, looking up but not fully facing Wonwoo yet. “When you guys came around, and asked us to join, I just thought… I don’t know, why not? I figured it could be a temporary thing, try out out, and then we’d move on. And I’m sure he felt the same too.”

Wonwoo didn’t even know he was frowning until the boy smirked at his expression.

“Don’t take it personally, really. That’s just the way we saw the world, you know? One job after the other. It was nothing against you guys, and it seemed like a good opportunity to leave the facility.”

“So what changed?” Wonwoo wondered, expression still a bit tight.

“…Everything.” Ming Ming pressed his lips, gathering his thoughts, as it seemed. “Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Chan… Then even you and Mingyu,” He smiled small. “Seeing how you guys acted around each other, how you cared for each other. I couldn’t understand it. I forgot what was a family, and it took me a while to figure out you guys were one.” The boy explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “And it freaked me out. Everything I knew about the world changed the moment I stepped into that old apartment, and I felt like I didn’t belong. Like I _couldn’t_ belong.”

So it really was all about the fact that he was scared. Honestly, Wonwoo wasn’t sure what to take from all of that. It explained a lot yet nothing at all. He could’ve talked to them, he could’ve explained. Perhaps there was more Wonwoo wasn’t seeing, more he couldn’t see because he hadn’t been through what he had, but it still irked him.

“It still doesn’t explain why you left Jun.” The hacker pointed out, watching the other swallow around nothing.

“Like I said, this was just supposed to be a temporary thing, we both felt that way.” Ming Ming repeated. “But the longer we stayed, the more I could see him… Change. While I was freaking out and getting more and more anxious, Junnie was adapting. He was… He was learning.” The boy sighed softly, looking up at Wonwoo once again.

“A huge fucking part of me wanted to take him with me, believe me. And I know Junhui, I know he would’ve taken my side regardless of his own feelings.” Wonwoo watched as the other’s eyes wavered. “But the more I watched him with you guys, the more I realized this, you, were his only chance as a family again. And maybe I had no chance anymore, but I would not be taking that away from him. Not again.”

Wonwoo took a deep breath then, pushing his head back with his palms rubbing against his eyes. Fuck. Just, fuck.

“You can’t—“ He sighed, eyes squinting as he pinched the bridge of his nose before looking at the other again. “You can’t say shit like that. You can’t just, do everything you did and then come here and talk like that. You can’t do that shit.”

Wonwoo didn’t want to sound so unstable, like a character out of a teen angst movie, but he had fucking had it already.

“We were your friends too, you know?” He let out, staring back into the other’s eyes. “That’s why we’re so fucking pissed, because it wasn’t just Jun’s former best friend that hurt him. It wasn’t just a guy we could beat senseless with no guilt or remorse attached. It was _our_ friend. It was the guy that played video games and watched movies with us.”

Wonwoo pushed his hair back. “That’s why we’re fucking pissed.” That’s why he hated him. “And that’s why we’re even giving you a chance.” And yet couldn’t hate him fully.

And he hated himself for it.

Wonwoo looked away from Ming Ming’s stare. It was too much. It was heavy and emotion filled and he did not have the mind to figure that out right now. Instead, the hacker inhaled slowly, grabbing the arms of the chair again to push himself up.

“I’ll get someone to watch you.” Wonwoo decided, heading towards Seungcheol’s room.

He had done enough talking for the night.

 

——

 

 

Perhaps Jihoon shouldn’t be in the office at such hour. Perhaps he should’ve gone to bed, like Seungcheol had told them to. And he did go, or tried, at least. But his bed was feeling highly uncomfortable that night, poking and bothring him in places it never had. Or maybe it wasn’t the bed, just his mind playing tricks on him.

Either way, the final result was that he couldn’t sleep. He considered getting something in the kitchen, but that meant he’d have to go through the living room, and Jihoon wasn’t sure he wanted to face an unwelcome guest or a possibly worried friend. Instead, the hacker busied himself with other things.

First, he checked on Jun. Thankfully, he seemed to be asleep already, half snuggled against Minghao. If the younger was asleep as well, Jihoon couldn’t tell. Chan seemed to shift a bit in his bed when the older opened the door, so he decided to leave them alone, shutting the door as gently as possible on his way out.

Without much else to do, Jihoon finally resorted to what he always went to when his mind was bored or his heart was tight — work. Which is how he ended up in his current position, sitting in his chair with only the monitors to provide any sort of light to the room. He wasn’t even sure what to work on, but he always figured it out, at some point.

So much so, the boy had completely lost track of time in his office, only looking away from the main monitor when he heard the door creaking.

“What are you doing?” A tired grumbling came in along with a boy rubbing his eyes, maybe trying to adapt to the lack of light.

“Working.” Jihoon answered, watching as the other grabbed a chair to slide up next to him.

“It’s 3am.” Soonyoung pointed out, smacking his lips.

“Lost track of time.” The younger shrugged, looking back at the screens.

“You know, for that many monitors, you could at least have a watch on one of them.” Soonyoung teased, though Jihoon could only afford to give him a smirk.

“Why are you up?” The hacker wondered out, chancing another glance at his friend. “Can’t sleep?”

“Kinda.” The thief sighed, pushing back his brown hair. “I can, but I keep waking up. Like I keep having weird dreams and I feel like I’m more tired than if I had stayed awake.”

“Dreams?” The shorter frowned slightly, worried about what could’ve been haunting his friend.

Soonyoung shook his head, however, waving him off. “Nothing specific, half of them I don’t remember. I just, wake up feeling really anxious, you know? It’s exhausting.”

“Mhh,” Jihoon agreed, knowing what the older was referring to. “I felt like my bed was made of rocks, couldn’t close my eyes for more than five minutes.”

Soonyoung snickered, though it clearly wasn’t out of mockery. For soon enough, the elder was groaning, leaning back on his chair and rubbing his palms against his face. And he stayed like that for a moment or two, before his hands dropped to the plastic arms of the chair, eyes looking up at the light of the monitor hitting the ceiling.

“Remember that time I said this was kinda like a video game?” Soonyoung asked out. “And we were facing harder and harder bosses, but we we’re leveling up too?”

How could he forget? Jihoon hummed, not really paying much attention, though he was still listening.

“I think we didn’t do enough grinding for this one.” The shorter snickered at the other’s addition, amused by how he still managed to stick with the video game metaphor.

“I don’t think we can do much grinding now, Soon.” Jihoon reasoned, glancing at the taller.

“Thanks, I needed that positivity.” Soonyoung grumbled, and it would’ve been heartbreaking if it wasn’t kind of amusing. Although their situation wasn’t anything to joke about, seeing Soonyoung spill out nonsense filled with sarcasm was still kind of funny.

“If it helps, I have some good news.” The hacker provided, Soonyoung quickly straightening up on his chair.

“And what’s that?”

“I think I might have an idea for a plan.” Jihoon confessed, watching as the other’s expression quickly turned sour again.

“You _think you might_ have an idea?” Soonyoung’s excitement was as absent as Jihoon’s patience. “Wow, Jihoonie, I’m feeling so positive now.”

“Shut up and listen.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, now tired of the other’s dramatic antics. “You remember that mission, the fund raiser guy, where we transferred out all his money?”

“The one where Coups and Kwannie got kicked out? Yeah.” Soonyoung nodded quickly, now a bit of curiosity finally showing in his eyes.

“Well, we had to actually access the guy’s computer to run the program, and I had to specify where the money was going to, and all that jazz. But I was thinking, if I could build something that worked automatically, like a virus, we’d only need to get it to SIDEM’s computer and—“

“You wanna transfer out their money?” Soonyoung wondered.

“Not just their money, everything.” Jihoon shook his head gently as he continued to explain. He hadn’t even noticed he had turned towards the other now, gesturing as he spoke. “All their data, all the information on them. And not just to someone, to everybody. Expose them, expose their suppliers, too. They’ll drop them on their asses once it’s all out.”

“Every man for himself.” Soonyoung mumbled, understanding Jihoon’s reasoning.

“They’d have no one to turn to.” The younger nodded.

“Okay, that makes sense, but I mean…” Soonyoung sighed, rubbing his arm. “Won’t that make them, I don’t know, even more vengeful? I mean, we don’t know if that’s why they’re after us, but if so…”

“Cheol said we’re going after them now, right?” The hacker reasoned, pressing his lips together as he thought of the best way of putting it. “I don’t know if at this level we’ll get to do what we always do, Soonie. I don’t know if jail or whatever else is out there is enough punishment for those guys anymore.”

If the way the other’s eyes widened before they dropped gently was anything to go by, Soonyoung understood what he had meant.

“We need to talk to Cheol about this.” He sighed, running his fingers through his dark hair once again. “You really think you can work that virus thing?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve been trying to improve on it, but it’s hard when I don’t even know who I’m hacking into.” Jihoon explained, disappointed in himself. “Maybe if Wonwoo could help…”

“Wonwoo just went to bed like an hour ago.” Soonyoung quickly ruled out that thought, visibly concerned for their other friend. “He needs rest, and so do you.” The taller added.

“I tried.” Jihoon replied stubbornly.

“Try harder, okay?” His words were harsh, but his soft grin and his hand ruffling Jihoon’s hair emitted an entirely different emotion. “We can talk to Coups in the morning, come on.”

Jihoon groaned, knowing Soonyoung well enough to know he wouldn’t back down. Therefore, the hacker saved everything he was working on and turned off the monitors, following the other out. Maybe they’d have better luck sleeping this time.

 

 

——

 

 

The morning that followed that eventful evening seemed more like a continuation than a fresh start. Seuncheol couldn’t even recall if he had slept or not. The few hours not spent watching Ming Ming were spent tossing and turning on the bed in the dark, thinking about everything that could and had happened.

The peculiarity of that day was only emphasized by the fact that all of them were already up at god knows when in the morning. The sun was barely out but Jihoon — Jihoon, out of all people — was handing him a cup of coffee as he walked into the living room.

It seemed that Mingyu had opted out of cooking breakfast, given most of them had settled for a bowl of cereal or some toast. Or, in Seungcheol’s case, coffee.

“You made this?” The leader wondered with genuine surprise, allowing himself to taste the warm beverage. Yet before the younger answered, a scowl took over his feature.

“What? Too hot?” Jihoon frowned, touching the older’s mug to check the temperature.

“How much coffee did you put in this?” Seungcheol smacked his lips, trying to get rid of the lingering bitterness. He knew the shorter liked his coffee strong, but this went from a nice kick to start the day to a massive punch in the face. “It tastes like coffee filter and regret.”

“It’s coffee, not chocolate milk. Stop being a wuss.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, drinking from his own mug. Well, at least the younger still had some sense of humor, if one could call it that.

Scanning the living room, Seungcheol took in everyone else’s states. Ming Ming was on the arm chair, with his head low and elbows resting on his knees, a mug nestled between both his hands. On the couch sat Wonwoo, along with Soonyoung and Mingyu. 

The eldest swallowed quietly before deciding not to deal with that at the moment. Instead, he shifted his attention to the kitchen. By the door stood the three youngest along with Jisoo and Jeonghan, chatting quietly amongst themselves. That itself was another thing out of place. Any conversation with either Seungkwan or Chan was rarely quiet.

“Where’s the rest?” Seungcheol’s brows furrowed as he searched for the other members.

“Kitchen.” The leader had almost forgotten the hacker’s presence, sparing him a proper stare once again.

Taking the time to look at him now, Seungcheol could see he wasn’t the only one who spent the night awake. Though the feat itself wasn’t unusual for the younger, this time it seemed to take a bigger toll on him. His lids were heavy, the bags under his eyes deeper and darker. The leader was in no position of scolding him this time though. If anything, it’d be more appropriate to give his friend a hug, but he knew Jihoon too well to know that wouldn’t help at all.

“How’s Jun?” The softer tone in his voice wasn’t intentional, yet it came out anyway.

Jihoon’s lips parted, ready to answer yet with no answer to give. He then shrugged gently, as if to say not much had changed. “He’s better.” The younger sounded more hopeful than sure. “Hao’s taking care of him.”

“And you?” Seungcheol wondered, squinting slightly. “You okay?”

“I don’t know, how okay can we be?” Jihoon smirked, shaking his head lightly. “Nah, I’m fine, I’m just… You know?” The shorter shot him a glance that spoke much more than his few words.

“Yeah,” Seungcheol gave him a small nod. “I know.”

“Hyung!” The leader shifted his eyes to the call of his younger brother, watching him raise an envelope above his head.

Seungcheol’s brows pulled together as he reached his brother by the door. “What is it?”

“I don’t know, this just slid in from under the door.” Chan confessed, equally confused. “It has your name on it.”

Indeed, there was no address on the back of the envelope, only his name in a tilted handwriting. That alone brought a chill to his stomach, and Seungcheol instinctively pushed his brother back behind him, away from the door. Only after that did he open the envelope, hastily pulling out the folded piece of paper.

His eyes were quick to scan over the page. There wasn’t much on it, a small letter, only a paragraph long. Written quite politely and way too nice for his taste. Just a fancy way of saying they wished to get in contact and set up a meeting. And by the bottom right corner, a logo.

“Sidem.” Seungcheol almost held his breath, looking up at Jisoo and Jeonghan that now surrounded him along with Hansol and Seungkwan. “They want us to meet.”

All the boys had matching looks of surprise and fear, the others by the living room now also getting up, perhaps sensing the tension in the room.

“Cheol,” Jeonghan called, wetting his lips. “This means they—“

“They know where we are.” And they were there, not a minute ago. Without giving it a second thought, Seungcheol pulled the front door open with the full intention of running down the hall and chasing after whoever the hell he could find on the way.

The only thing that stopped him was a firm hand around his arm, the pull of it almost making him fall back on his ass.

“ _Where are you going?_ ” Jisoo’s voice was rushed but more than audible.

“They could still be out there.” Seungcheol explained, tugging at his arm.

“Exactly.” Jisoo pointed out, looking straight into his eyes. “You planning to run straight into their arms?” When the younger put it like that, it didn’t seem that wise. “We don’t know who they are, Cheol. For all we know you could be running straight into a trap.”

The leader swallowed quietly, pulling the door closed again after making sure no one was in the hallway. At the same time Jisoo’s hand on him loosened, traveling down his arm before giving a gentle squeeze to his wrist, releasing it.

“We gotta get out of here.” Jeonghan sighed, pushing his light blonde hair back with concern etched into every crease in his forehead.

Looking around to see they were finally joined by everybody, including their so called guest, Seungcheol nodded, trying to gather his thoughts again.

“You guys still remember your teams? From the drill?” They were emergency plans they’d worked out a while ago, and changed every now and then. Split up in three teams, go to three different hide outs and wait there for further instructions. There were more details to the plans, like how to leave without getting noticed and how to make sure they weren’t followed, but Seungcheol didn’t think they’d have the time to revise them now.

Thankfully though, he was answered with nods and words of affirmation. “Alright, you guys split up in those three. Wonwoo, you take Ming Ming with you.” The leader ordered, getting a short but quick nod from the hacker. “Only take what you absolutely need with you.”

“What about you?” Chan asked, visibly worried.

“I’m gonna find a new place for us to stay.” The leader answered, squeezing his brother’s shoulder to give him some assurance. “Soonyoung, Jihoon, you’re coming with me.”

The two stepped up, Soonyoung scratching the side of his neck. “Alright, but where are we even gonna find a place?” The younger wondered.

Seungcheol pressed his lips together. He had an idea, a bit of a farfetched one that had great chanced of not working, but it was the only one he had. “I know a guy.”

 

 

——

 

 

Mingyu and his group had already settled in their safe house when he got the message from Seungcheol. Safe house was a bit of a compliment, really. It was simply one of the backrooms of an old arcade that was open 24/7. It was loud and the room was used as an oversized supply closet, which was nowhere near comfortable for them, but they were in no position to complain.

Thankfully, Mingyu was spared the opportunity to hang out in that place when he got Seungcheol’s orders. Now instead of a dusty supply room, he waited in front of a coffee shop, hands in the front pockets of his jeans as he balanced on his heels.

“Hyung!” Mingyu turned at the voice, spotting Chan finally joining him.

“Hey, you guys settled okay?” The taller couldn’t help but ask. The groups had already exchanged messages between them, but it felt better to hear it in person.

“Yeah. Hoshi-hyung is with my brother, but the rest of us are already settled.” Chan nodded, referring of course to Minghao and Jun. “Why were you waiting out here, though?”

“I don’t know, I thought it was better to wait for you so we could go in together, you know?” Mingyu reasoned, shrugging a bit as he pushed open the glass doors. The place was busy, but thankfully not too crowded. They had been wise to avoid the rush hour.

“Uhuh…” The younger hummed, following him inside before looking around. The smell of coffee was prominent, fitting with the dark green and brown décor. “Well come on, he’s at the counter.” Chan beckoned him with a wave as he headed for said counter, the reason for their visit working behind one of the cash registers.

“Wait, we can’t just—“ Mingyu cursed lowly to himself before grabbing the boy by the back of his shirt, hauling him towards the line. “We need to wait in line, it’s not polite to cut.”

“Hyung, we’re not ordering anything, we’re just talking to him.” The younger pointed out with a skeptical brow.

“Still, it’s not nice to cut.” Mingyu insisted, both of them now waiting behind two young girls and an old lady.

“…You’re nervous, aren’t you?” Chan accused.

“What?” Mingyu’s mouth gaped a bit before he scoffed. “Why would I be nervous?”

“Beats me, but you’re jittering like Seokmin-hyung after drinking five cups of coffee.”

 _Exam week_ , Mingyu remembered. That had been an interesting thing to watch.

“I’m not jittering.” Mingyu insisted before taking a step closer as the girls moved aside to wait for their order.

“Suit yourself, hyung. But it’s like super hot in here and you can’t tell me you’re cold.” Chan shrugged, with a look that implied he knew better. Mingyu hated that look.

“You know, you used to be nicer. What happened to you?” The taller frowned.

“You tell me, you’re the ones who practically raised me.”

 _Touché_.

Mingyu wondered then if he should just stop talking. Clearly he wouldn’t win against Chan and his apparently second puberty.

“There’s no reason to be nervous, you know? I actually thought you’d be happy.” The younger reasoned, in a nicer tone.

“Are _you_ happy?”

“Yeah.” The boy nodded innocently. “I mean, not happy with why we’re doing this, but happy we’re doing it.” He explained, and Mingyu had to agree, to some extent.

However, he was still nervous. Yes, okay, he admitted it. “What if he doesn’t wanna see us? Or if he’s mad at us? Or if he doesn’t remember us?” He couldn’t control the frown that pulled at his brows, teeth mindlessly tugging on the skin of his bottom lip.

“Come on, hyung. Of course he will.” Chan grinned, perhaps to give him some of his positivity. “And he’s not a kid, of course he’s gonna remember—“

“Next!”

The call interrupted their thoughts, as both boys hadn’t even realized the old lady had moved aside now as well. Mingyu’s steps fell short as he approached the counter, the boy behind the register with his mind on something else as he wrote down a name on the plastic cup.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be with you in a minute! I just—“ Mingyu watched as the boy almost dropped the cup, quickly supplying them with another set of apologies.

Mingyu couldn’t care about that, though, his eyes still on the frantically moving figure. He had grown so much. He remembered when he had first saw him in the footage of Jihoon’s computer, but only now it actually felt real. And even with the dark hat that kept him from actually seeing them, Mingyu recognized him. The thin jaw, the bigger nose, the dark hair. It felt almost surreal.

“It’s okay, we’re only here to talk.” Mingyu replied softly, still entranced by the whole situation. Still a bit nervous, too.

“Oh, uh, I mean I’d be happy to talk, sir,” _Sir_. Mingyu could hear Chan snickering at the word. “But I’m a bit busy right now, so maybe at the end of my shift—“

“ _Sam_.” Chan called then, and finally, finally, the boy looked up.

Mingyu tried to muster a nice smile when Samuel looked at them, he really did. But while he felt like grinning widely, part of him thought it’d be creepy, or maybe it would even piss the other off, to smile that way. So he tried to do something between a grin and a contented smile, his lips trembling in a bit in a way that probably looked even more awkward and perhaps a bit constipated.

Still, it didn’t stop Samuel from gasping at the sight of the two older bows, eyes round and big, blinking a bit too much, as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing.

And Mingyu tried preparing himself for the worst, because even though he wanted to hug the kid and catch up with him, he still didn’t know how he’d react. It had been a long time, after all.

Thankfully, all his concerns were deemed needless when Samuel grinned wide and brightly, his voice just as loud as his feelings. “Hyungs! Oh my God, what are you doing here? I mean— It’s great to see you, but… Oh my God, hi! Wow, hi! Uh, gimme a minute.”

Mingyu chuckled at the other’s excitement, glad to see the boy apparently didn’t hold anything but fondness for them. Chan seemed to be amused as well, watching the youngest fret over getting someone to take over his spot for the moment before pulling them aside.

It was a second of awkwardness again before Samuel pulled them into a hug. It was tight and uncomfortable, especially considering their height difference, but Mingyu returned it with just as much want.

“I can’t believe you actually grew.” Mingyu let out, chuckling to himself. “I mean, you’re still tiny, but you grew.”

The taller laughed at the other’s fleeting disgruntled expression. “Well, at least I’m not a tree.” He quipped. “But seriously, what are you guys doing here? Is it just you guys? Where are the others?”

“If you let us talk we could actually tell you.” Chan snorted, Samuel’s embarrassed laugh sounding too endearing.

“Sorry, hyung. I’m just excited.” He admitted with a bashful grin, and at that moment he could see the tiny little kid he used to help with his homework. God, he felt old now.

“Ugh, it’s so weird hearing someone calling you hyung.” Mingyu shuddered.

“You think so? I like it.” Chan’s smugness was obvious.

“Don’t get any ideas.” The older snickered, directing his attention back to why they were there. “Actually, it’s just us here, but we kinda wanted to ask if you wanna stay with us for a while.” Mingyu rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to explain. “I mean, more like we came to get you, but if you wanna come or not, it’s your choice.”

“Uh?” The confusion was clear not only in his voice, but in the way his brows pulled together. “Why? Is something going on? Is everyone okay?”

“Everyone’s fine, don’t worry.” Perhaps fine wasn’t the right word, but it was too soon to worry Samuel with those things. Mingyu always felt a bit protective over the boy, for some reason. “There’s just some stuff going on, yeah, but we can’t really get into details here.” It was way too public for that.

“We’d just feel better if you stayed with us for a while.” Chan added.

If Samuel was still confused, he didn’t show. He simply nodded gently, which let them know that even though he didn’t really know what was going on, he understood what they meant.

“I mean, I’d be happy to go with you guys, really.” The younger admitted, looking between them and the counter. “But I mean, I got my job, you know? I need to see with them if it’s fine—“

As if she had been suddenly summoned, a young woman who looked around Mingyu’s age, though far more tired, appeared behind Samuel, properly scaring the three of them. “You can go.”

“M-Manager Kim!“ Samuel cleared his throat, turning halfway to face her. “I mean, thank you, but I need the money—“

“Consider it a paid vacation.” The girl insisted, taking the cap off the boy and pulling the strings of his apron as if he was a mannequin.

“B-But I already took—“

“ _Samuel_ ,” The girl paused, inhaling deeply. “Listen, you’re a great kid, the customers love you, I could never fire you, okay? But just this week we had to get the espresso machine fixed twice and it’s not even Wednesday. Yesterday I counted five grey hairs when I got out of the shower. _Five_. So please, please, take this offer.”

Samuel only blinked at the lady, clearly as perplexed as he was. Chan, on the other hand, looked like he was using every ounce of his strength not to burst out into laughter.

“We haven’t seen him in years and he still turned out like you.” The boy whispered into Mingyu’s ear, earning himself an elbow to the side.

Damn second puberty.

“O-Okay.” The youngest cleared his throat before nodding gently, handing her his folded apron. “Thank you, noona.”

As if making an one-eighty change from her previous attitude and giving him a warm smile. “Take care, kid. And try not to break anything there.” The manager bid him goodbye by ruffling his hair before heading back to the counter.

“Don’t worry, he won’t be the only one.” Chan called out, not getting a proper shove.

“Seriously?” Mingyu frowned, far less amused than the shorter.

“So, I just need to grab my stuff at the back, and then we can head out.” Samuel called for their attention again, tilting his head a bit. “Where are we going, by the way?”

Well, that was a good question.

 

 

——

 

 

“You know you’re welcome to tell us where we are, right?” Jihoon wondered out, hands in the pockets of his half open denim jacket. “Like, any time now, feel free.”

“You walked with me here, you know where we are.” Seungcheol quipped, approaching the white brick gate with the dark grey metal door.

“I know we’re standing in front of an old house, but I don’t know _why_ we’re standing in front of said old house.” Jihoon pointed out, following the older along with Soonyoung.

“You know why, we’re here to find a new place to stay. Temporarily, at least.” The eldest hummed, pressing down the red button by the intercom.

“Seungcheol, I swear to God—“

“Hello?” A familiar voice rang through, and the leader leaned closer to speak into the microphone.

“Hey, it’s me, Cheol.” He waited another second or two before the intercom buzzed, allowing him to push open the gate door. “We’re through, thanks.” He called back before closing the door behind his two very confused friends.

“Hyung, no offense, but what the hell is going on?” Soonyoung asked out, looking around the modest yet well kept garden. “Are you part of some secret club we don’t know about?”

“I can barely handle you guys, you really think I’d join a club?” The leader raised a brow, stopping by the door as he heard locks opening.

Before they were able to ask any more questions, the front door of the house was opening, revealing a guy around his height, with a warm, slightly shy smile and comfortable clothes. “Hey, sorry about that, there’s just so many keys I keep forgetting—“

“Doyoon?!” Soonyoung exclaimed, startling the boy and almost making him drop his keys. Seungcheol ignored the younger, stepping in to give his old friend a hug and a pat on the back.

It had been years since he had last seen him, but they still talked every now and then. Well, not since they had to cut contact, but before it was a pretty regular thing. They’d exchange a couple of e-mails, see how things were going. Only recently had the boy moved back to the city, Seungcheol found out. He didn’t know if it was luck or some weird twist of fate.

“Sorry, they kept nagging me all the way here but I wanted to give you a chance to back out.” Seungcheol snickered, barely dodging the kick Jihoon sent to his shin.

“Oh don’t worry, I have no qualms in kicking you all out if I feel like it.” Their host teased, moving aside to greet Soonyoung, who practically jumped on him.

“You still could’ve told us!” The thief complained, squeezing Doyoon into a hug before pulling back. “Wait, does that mean we’re staying here?”

“ _Temporarily_.” Seungcheol reminded him with a stern look. “And _if_ he wants to.”

“Come on, I said yes already.” Doyoon reassured him with a pat on the back before exchanging something between a handshake and a hug with Jihoon. “Plus, I owe Cheol big time.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes.

“I do.” Doyoon insisted. “But even if I didn’t, I’d still want to help you guys.”

“Are you sure?” One of Jihoon’s brows raised in suspicion. “I mean, we won’t be mad if you don’t. There’s some really fucked up shit happening now.”

“All the more reason to help.”

“Plus, we’re a lot of people.” The shorter added, and Seungcheol knew to read that as nothing other than concern.

In reality, he shared the same doubts. He was the one to contact Doyoon, yes, but he knew what risk it was to bring the other into this. It was bad enough that Samuel was already involved, in some way.

“Dude, I swear to good, if you keep doubting me you’re gonna sleep in the bathroom.” Doyoon rolled his eyes, earning a snicker from the hacker.

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He added with a light punch to the other’s arm, quickly shielding himself from the payback.

“You live here alone?” Soonyoung changed the subject as they walked further into the living room, looking around.

“Yeah. It’s actually my aunt’s house, but her daughter went to college and she said this felt too big for an old lady, so she rented an apartment closer to her.” The host explained, shrugging a bit. “And I was kinda wanting to come back, you know? Since mom passed. So she offered me the house.”

“Shit,” Jihoon blurted out, both his and Soonyoung’s expressions shifting into one of concern and sorrow. “I’m sorry.” His tone was much softer now, barely audible, even.

Seungcheol had forgotten they didn’t know. He hadn’t found out right at the time, either. Only a month after it happened, when he risked sending an email to his friend just to check how things were going.

“It’s alright, you didn’t know.” Doyoon smiled softly, though Seungcheol could see it in his eyes that wasn’t so easy to manage.

“You okay?” Perhaps it was a stupid question, but Seungcheol didn’t know what else to ask. He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder, gripping it gently.

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, not exactly but, much better, I think.” Their friend nodded to himself. “It’s been a few months now, and just.. We tried our hardest, you know? We really did. I don’t regret any bit of it.” The boy shook his head lightly, inhaling and gulping quietly before letting out a small chuckle.

His stomach dropped with the thought that he hadn’t been there for the other. That’s what friends were for, right? Even if Doyoon and him weren’t as close anymore, he should’ve been there. But he knew that was something he shouldn’t bring up. Not only would it do them no good, but it would probably bring up feelings Doyoon was not ready to share.

“Anyway, enough of that.” The host decided to change the subject once again, blinking around at the three. “Where’s the rest of you?”

“They’re hiding in some safe houses right now.” Seungcheol clarified before pulling back. “I just wanted to make sure you were still up for this before bringing anyone else here.”

“And before they made a huge mess of this place.” Jihoon provided.

“As if you don’t make a mess.” Soonyoung accused with a slight scoff.

“I don’t make messes, I just don’t clean them.” The hacker corrected.

“Well, I don’t know if there’ll be enough space for messes, this house isn’t that big.” Doyoon reasoned with a light laugh, pointing at the stairs. “There’s two bedrooms upstairs, and an office like thing we can put some mattresses into. And there’s the living room too, of course.”

“Don’t worry, whatever you have is more than enough for us.” Seungcheol smiled warmly. “Just as long as you’re sure—“

“ _Oh God_ , how many times do I have to say it?” Doyoon groaned before frowning. “You know, I’m starting to think the only reason you want me to back out is so I don’t meet your boyfriends.”

“Oh shit, he doesn’t know the hyungs!” Soonyoung almost laughed out, him and the hacker now looking way to giddy.

“It’s _not_ because of that, okay.” Seungcheol insisted, not even knowing where that idea had come from.

“What I really don’t know is how the hell Seungcheol, of all people, managed to get himself not one, but two guys willing to date him.” Doyoon smirked, only snickering at the weak punch Seungcheol gave his side.

“Don’t worry, it’ll make sense when you realize they’re both the devil incarnated.” Jihoon teased, that annoying smirk still very prominent on his face.

“Okay, very funny, now go call the rest of the guys and get them here.” Seungcheol frowned, shoving the younger two away while ignoring their laughter.

The leader inhaled deeply when the two were finally off to the kitchen, now left only with his old friend who was also laughing at his expense, even if more discretely.

“You haven’t changed at all, you know?” Seungcheol accused with a slight frown.

“Neither have you, my friend.” Doyoon chuckled while throwing an arm over his shoulders, and now even Seungcheol couldn’t help but smirk a bit.

“It’s good to have you back.” He admitted, softly.

Doyoon returned his grin with a warm one, nodding a bit. “It’s good to be back.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS/COMMENTS/HITS/BOOKMARKS AND EVERYTHING!! Seriously, thank you so much.
> 
> First I wanted to say that with what's going on rn in the fic, chapters will probably start seeming more rushed. That is actually intentional and for narrative purposes, but if it does get too confusing please tell me! I'll try to explain it the best that I can.
> 
> And now that that's out of the way, I just wanted to say that the response last chapter was so incredible. Not only to the chapter itself, but to the ideas I had talked about. It felt so good to see people are actually interested in them, so thank you so so much <3  
> Seeing you guys' response, I realized that there's a lot of potential for fics that I wasn't even considering much at first, and also for ones that I was already thinking of for a while.  
> SO,  
> Considering everything I've seen, I've decided that all options are still very much on the table for writing. Like I said, I won't promise anything because time management is not my strong suit, but I will start thinking thoroughly of plots for all the ideas I mentioned, especially ones I hadn't thought much of at first. So this isn't to say like all of them will be written at some point (because again, me no like promises), but more as in none of them will be discarded at the moment.
> 
> HOWEVER,  
> Keeping in mind why I asked in the first place, which was to post something special since it's been one year since I started this shit, and also all your comments, I have decided on two that I will focus my attention on at the moment (besides on the rough, ofc).  
> And they will be the jihancheol side fic, and a continuation of the call call call au.  
> I think technically the chinaline side fic got more requests than the call call call, however I want to give myself a bit of space to think about other au's, and I already have a lot figured out for the call call call one.  
>  ~~Again~~ , not that the Chinaline one is off the table, it's just not a priority.  
> I also can't say _when_ I will post the two fics I picked, but I will start working on them right now.
> 
> ...Phew
> 
> As always, I always reread these things before posting, but a typo always escapes! So please, don't be afraid to tell me if you spot one, it'd be helping me out a lot!
> 
> Also, feel free to let me know what you're thinking about the fic!! I love reading your comments so so much, seriously. Of course, the fact that you're reading it is already more than enough, but if you feel like leaving a comment, don't be shy!
> 
> And OH GOD OH MY IS SO GOOD THEY DID IT AGAIN-


	32. Come gather here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Wait, so who’s the back up?” Chan voiced out his confusion, along with everyone else’s.
> 
> “Bangtan agreed to help.” The leader hummed, stunning them all into silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this and quietly fastpacing away because I took ages I'm so sorry--
> 
> Also hey I have a twitter now I guess so if you wanna yell at me for taking too long it's @fastpacingg

 

 

When you’re used to thirteen people sitting around a table, you feel like you’ve grown used to large numbers. That is until three more people join, and suddenly one can understand how easily a dining room can become smaller.

Seungkwan felt it first hand, failing to grab a chair for himself and having to settle for Hansol’s bony lap. Thankfully he wasn’t the only one, as he noticed when Soonyoung sat on Seokmin’s and Chan swiftly escaped Jeonghan’s arms to chair half a chair with Minghao instead. The rest of them had their own, with the exception of Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Doyoon and Ming Ming, who chose to stand instead. In the latter’s case, Seungkwan wasn’t too sure if it was a choice or a consequence.

Samuel, of course, got the privileged end of the table. Seungkwan figured they were all a bit too sweet on the boy still. Who could blame them, honestly? The kid had grown nearly a meter but stayed a kid at heart. The older didn’t doubt he was still a little brat too, but if so, he didn’t show. He had showed them nothing but kindness.

In fact, it had been kind of underwhelming. Seungkwan expected a reunion with heartfelt moments, with Samuel and Seungcheol perhaps reuniting with sincere apologies and strong hugs. Perhaps shedding a happy tear or two. Instead, what happened was a brief moment of awkwardness followed by the oldest ruffling the boy’s hair and greeting him with a brotherly half hug.

Sure, it was cute, but like said, underwhelming. Of course, that was all before Junhui practically tackled the kid to the ground and they had to make a group effort to remove him from the shorter.

“So, let me see if I got this right.” The youngest began, now fully caught up with what was going on. “There’s bad guys after us, and they want you to go over there? Why would they want that?”

They’d left a couple of things out, like the fact Ming Ming had shot one of them, but there had been a silent understanding that it wasn’t exactly the type of information to be shared in a group talk.

“We have no idea.” Seungcheol admitted, arms crossed and frown between his brows. “But it’s easy to assume it’s nothing good.”

“They knew where we lived, though. If they wanted to get us they just…” Seokmin pressed his lips together, as if feeling the weight of his own words. “Could have.”

“They didn’t need an invitation.” Soonyoung added.

“Which means they have a reason for wanting to see me, and not just taking us out.” Seungcheol reasoned, though Seungkwan frowned at that.

“We didn’t even know if that was their reason in the first place, though.” Seungkwan pointed out. “I mean, I doubt it was anything good. But at first it felt like they were trying to keep us away, and now—“

“They’re calling us closer.” Hansol concluded. “I agree hyung, it’s all too fishy.”

“It’s beyond fishy by now.” The leader agreed with a sigh. “But the reality is, we were already trying to decide what to do with them. And now we got a way through their front door.”

“Hold on a second,” Jisoo frowned, “You’re not _actually_ considering going there?”

“I don’t know if there’s much considering to be done. The invitation was more of a formality than a choice.” The eldest added.

“So you intend to march in there alone?” Mingyu practically scoffed.

“Of course not. But it can be a good distraction.” Seungcheol explained. “No matter how much security they have, while they’re busy with me, they’ll be more vulnerable to other attacks.”

“So you go in through the front while we take them from the back?”

“Please don’t say it like that.” Jihoon reprimanded Hansol with a slightly judgmental frown.

“Well, not exactly in those terms, but yeah.” The leader nodded. “Jihoon’s been working on some virus, apparently. Something that will divulge their information online to anyone and everyone. Including anyone affiliated with them.” He glanced at Wonwoo then, the two having a silent conversation Seungkwan knew not of.

“Soonyoung told me, I’m fine with it.” He reassured the older, though Seungkwan was sure he wasn’t the only one lost in their conversation. “Involving Blue Lotus it’s actually a good move. They’ll drop SIDEM in an instant if they feel threatened.”

Now Seungkwan understood.

“Are you sure, hyung?” He asked, because he knew Wonwoo was sometimes prone to making rash decisions, especially involving his parents.

“It’s fine. Even though I’d like for them to get caught, they won’t be affected that easily. They’re rich.” The older shrugged. Well, he did have a point.

“And how does that work?” Minghao raised a brow, getting them back to the plan. “The virus.”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. But it was already hard enough when I had all my tech, I left more than half of it in our apartment. I don’t know how long it’ll take.”

“That’s why I called for back up.”

Seungkwan blinked, looking around at the room. “Hyung, two people is not back up.” He threw a quick apologetic gaze to their host and the youngest.

“I’m not talking about them. Doyoon’s only lending his house and Sammy is here so we can watch his back.”

“Wait, I’m not here to help?” Samuel blinked, looking a bit disappointed.

“I know I’m gonna sound like a broken record, but this time I’m serious. We got no clue what we’re dealing with here and I don’t want to involve either of you more than you already are.” The leader sighed softly, and apparently that was enough for Samuel. Perhaps the boy had matured over the years, but he didn’t seem to want to fight the older’s decision. If anything, it looked like he understood.

Seeing the small nod from the younger, Seungcheol then turned his attention to his other friend, raising a brow as if to question if he’d contest him.

“Oh, no.” Doyoon shook his head, raising his hands in defense. “Don’t worry, I have no intention of helping with anything other than providing this house.” He quickly replied, getting a small grin from the leader.

“Wait, so who’s the back up?” Chan voiced out his confusion, along with everyone else’s.

“Bangtan agreed to help.” The leader hummed, stunning them all into silence.

“Wait, what’s Bangtan?” Doyoon questioned.

“They’re another group.” Mingyu’s voice was barely above a mumble, the taller apparently still trying to take in the information. “They really agreed to help?”

“Yep. They agreed to meet here tomorrow morning.”

“Wait, wait, hold on,” Doyoon frowned. “Here? You invited more people?”

“Well, only seven more—“

“ _Seungcheol!_ ”

 

 

——

 

 

“They’re here!” Soonyoung announced, as if everyone else hadn’t heard the buzzer already. The thief rushed to the front door, already unlocking the many locks.

“Hold on,” Seungcheol held the other back gently. “I think we should first try to seem more… Professional.” He suggested.

He knew that in reality, there was no need for such things. From what he had talked with that RM guy, he seemed like a chill person. However, he also invoked an aura of authority and mystery, one that Seungcheol couldn’t dream of possessing. Fair enough, they only talked through encrypted texts, but still. It’s not that Seungcheol was embarrassed of his team — fine, maybe a little, but it wasn’t about that. In reality, the leader only feared Bangtan would go back on their decision to help them if they realized they weren’t as ‘professional-looking’.

“Cheol, look around you.” Jihoon raised a brow, probably referring to the mess that the living room found itself in, along with all the culprits that were either trembling with excitement — or fear, Seungcheol couldn’t tell— or scolding each other over who spilled the chips.

“Yeah, that ship has not only sailed, but it’s half way around the world to Chile right now.” Jeonghan added with a snicker.

The eldest groaned, shoulders slumping a bit. “I just wanted to make a good impression.” He whined, and yes, he knew the pout probably went against his previous request.

Before they discussed it further though, the doorbell rang, announcing they were already at the front door.

“Oh, I know!” Soonyoung eyes lit up, as if a lightbulb had appeared over his head. He leaned closer to the door, suddenly feigning a frown and dropping an octave. “What’s the secret knock?”

“ _Oh God_ ,” Seungcheol pulled the thief away from the door as quickly as he could, before more damage could be done. Yep that ship had definitely sailed. “Just a second!” He called out then, before grabbing the keys from the younger’s hands and trying to find the right one for the door.

What the leader didn’t expect though was to hear whispered voices from the other side while Doyoon rushed over to help him with the locks.

“Oh lord, put it back, Namjoon!”

“I’m trying!”

“We’ve been here for ten seconds and you’re already pulling the place apart—“

“I’m not—“

“Uuh,” Seungcheol cleared his throat while he finally pulled the door open, trying to interpret what was going on. He didn’t wish to meddle in or anything, but the three were literally standing there on the entrance while one of them had something in his hand that looked awfully like the metal piece that hung on the door for knocking. “Hi?”

“Oh, hi!” The one in the front smiled, looking honest and kind with dimples adorning his cheeks. “This is the right place right? Seventeen?”

“Yes, Namjoon, ask the stranger about a secret gang. That’s smart.” The one on his right rolled his eyes, which were practically hidden under his black fringe and striped beanie. He was shorter than the former, though from the way he spoke, he was probably older.

Perhaps he was RM? He certainly had that ‘ _could potentially kill you_ ’ aura. Though the one on the left could easily be him, as well. He looked kinder, but Seungcheol wasn’t fooled by doe eyes and pouty lips. His eight and broad shoulders easily made him someone intimidating.

“Oh, yeah. That’s us.” Seungcheol nodded quickly, pressing his lips as he was suddenly hit with a wave of nervousness. Okay, this was really happening. “I’m ‘Coups.” He offered with a smile.

“Ah, you’re the one I talked to!” The one in the front, Namjoon, exclaimed, his dimples becoming deeper. “RM.”

“Wait, _you’re_ RM?” Seungcheol blurted out, only realizing how insulting that could sound half a second later. Well, off to a great start.

“Hah, yeah.” The other chuckled, thankfully seemingly not offended. “I guess people have a different idea of me. Happens a lot.”

Seungcheol let out a small chuckle as well. Instead of intimidating, the man gave off an almost welcoming vibe, which somewhat helped ease his nerves.

“Jin.” The doe-eyed one informed then, giving a smile that could surely belong on the cover of a magazine.

“Suga.” The shorter introduced himself as well, raising a hand as a form of greeting.

“Hoshi!”

“Shit—!” Seungcheol almost jumped at the other who apparently popped up from behind him, making his heart race in a moment where he did not need it. “Soonyoung, I swear to god—“

“I thought we were using our codenames.” The younger pointed out with a slight frown.

Oh yeah, apparently now that ship had sailed as well. Why did he even try?

“Woozi.” The hacker joined them in a much calmer manner, greeting the others with a nod. his brows soon pulled together, while he eyed the three. “No offense or anything, but weren’t there more of you?”

“They’ll be here in a second,” Jin waved him off while Seungcheol stepped back, inviting them in. “We decided to come separately just in case.”

“Smart choice.” The leader hummed, blinking when a c-shaped metal was placed on his hand.

“I was going to knock, but it came off—“ Their leader gave off an apologetic smile, while Seungcheol was still trying to understand how the hell this was the same guy he talked to before. “Sorry.”

“We thought Namjoon’s talent for destruction was only reserved to our own headquarters, though apparently we were obviously mistaken.” Jin snickered.

“Don’t worry, Mingyu did the same thing before.” Jihoon rolled his eyes, giving Seungcheol a weird feeling of dejá vù. “There used to be two handles.”

“Yeah, it’s fine. More and more I’m embracing the idea of moving out after this is all over anyway.” Doyoon sighed, grabbing the metal piece from Seungcheol. “I don’t think this house can survive all the abuse it’s suffering.”

Seungcheol would’ve felt guilty if he hadn’t given his friend plenty of options to back out.

“Well, this is everybody.” The leader continued instead, gesturing to the living room where all of them stood, most with big eyes and some even with awe struck looks. It was kind of funny, if he took a second look. “I’m not gonna introduce everybody ‘cause it’s gonna take ages, but if you guys wanna make yourselves comfortable while we wait—“

“ _Ha_ , hyung broke something already?!” A young voice boosted through the open door, causing Seungcheol to turn.

He didn’t even need to ask who that was though, as suddenly a giant was running past him. “Kookie! What took you so long?”

“Gyu!” The two high-five’d, looking even younger than they actually were.

“What took you so long?” Namjoon asked, looking back at the teammates that now arrived.

“Jungkook dared us to walk the last block on headstands.” A blond boy with thick lips replied, making his way inside with two more. From a quick count, Seungcheol assumed they were finally complete.

“And you did?” Jisoo raised a brow, looking both skeptical and impressed.

“Only Hobi-hyung.” The blonde grinned. “We’re not foolish enough to fall for Kookie’s taunting.”

“Seriously?” Suga stared straight at the boy with light orange hair. “The only reason we sent you with them was because you were supposed to be the responsible one.”

“Well, clearly you don’t know me.” He scoffed before a bright smile took over his features, possibly rivaling Seokmin’s, who apparently was already greeting Jungkook as well. ‘Hobi’, however, turned his attention to Seungcheol. “Hey, I’m Hope. That’s Chimmy, Kookie you know, and—“

“Hannie?” The stranger who wore faded purple hair called while staring right past the two, causing the rest of them to frown.

“Hannie?” Hope tilted his head in confusion. “No, you’re V—“

“Tae?” Heads turned to Jeonghan right now, who stood not too far away from Seungcheol. His eyes were wide in a way Seungcheol rarely saw, something he knew meant true and utter surprise.

“Okay, wait, can someone tell me what is going on?” Seungkwan voiced out what seemed to be the question they all wanted answered.

And instead of a reply, what they got was the Bangtan kid — Tae, V? — hurrying towards Jeonghan with a big rectangular smile. Seungcheol had to hold himself back. The instinct of blocking the guy was bigger than he had predicted, and he was ready to pull the other away from Jeonghan, even if the grip he had on him seemed too strong to break. It was only when his boyfriend’s face changed from genuine surprise to innocent, blissful joy that he relaxed, a bubbly laugh escaping Jeonghan’s lips.

Seungcheol glanced at Jisoo then, raising a brow as if to ask if he had any idea of what was going on. Given by his slight frown and gently head shake, Seungcheol could tell he didn’t.

“Wait, Tae, what— How are you…?” Jeonghan pulled back a bit, taking a proper look at the other. “I haven’t seen you in ages! Where have you been?!”

“Right? I almost didn’t recognize you with the blonde.” The stranger, Tae, apparently, grinned. “But it looks good!”

“Wait, wait, you guys know each other?” Jungkook wondered out. “Can someone please explain what’s happening?”

“He’s right.” Seungcheol called out a bit loudly, to get everybody’s attention. “How about we gather up in the living room?” The leader suggested, looking around at all of them, eyes stopping at the Jeonghan and the stranger. “We got a lot of catching up to do.”

 

 

——

 

 

“ _This is so creepy!_ ” Mingyu whispered shouted, still hiding behind the doorway as his eyes peeked into the kitchen.

“ _I told you so!_ ” Jungkook replied in the same tone, half bent beneath Mingyu to look into the room as well.

“What are you guys doing?”

The two almost jumped at the sound, making Jungkook’s head knock into Mingyu’s chin and causing the them both to groan in pain. The taller rubbed at his chin, frowning at their friend who now stood behind them.

“Don’t sneak up on us like that!” Mingyu chided, though he tried to keep his voice low as he pulled Seokmin aside and away from the doorway to the kitchen.

“But I just asked what you were doing—“ The elder blinked innocently.

“Did they notice?” Mingyu asked Jungkook instead, who carefully peered into the room once again.

“Nope, still working.”

With that, Seokmin took a look at what was getting their attention, brows furrowing.

“Why are you guys watching Jihoon-hyung and Suga-hyung?” The med student wondered, soon being pulled aside again.

“Because they’re _identical_.” Mingyu pointed out, though it seemed obvious enough.

When Jungkook had first mentioned it, he thought his friend was just exaggerating. There was no way they looked so much alike. But after five minutes of watching them with their laptops on the kitchen table, discussing about things Mingyu didn’t really understand, he had to admit, the resemblance was uncanny.

Not only did they look alike, both with droopy triangular eyes and a pale complexion, but they even sounded the same. Their voices not so much, but the way they talked, the slight sarcasm that carried through every sentence. Not to mention the way they slouched on their chairs, in a position less than appropriate for their backs.

“I don’t see it.” Both of them gasped at Seokmin’s oblivious reply.

“How can you _not_ see it? It’s like they’re related.” Jungkook insisted, elbowing the other lightly, nudging him to look back at the scene.

As if prompted, Jihoon hummed, eyes never leaving his screen. “Did you find—?”

“The bug that was duplicating all the info? Yeah.” The older nodded sighed. “But I found this block of code that seems—“

“Useless? It is.” Jihoon sighed as well, much like the other. “But if I remove it the whole thing crashes for some fucking reason.”

Yoongi snickered then, and if Mingyu had only heard it he could’ve easily mistaken him for Jihoon. “I _love_ coding.” The amused sarcasm in his voice was almost palpable.

“Oh God, they’re the same.” Seokmin whispered, jaw dropping a bit.

“ _See!_ ” Jungkook slapped the other’s arm quickly, having proven his point. “I swear, it’s like they’re related or something.”

“…Maybe they are.” Mingyu blinked, wondering if in fact the two had some gene in common.

“Does Woozi-ssi have any lost brothers?” Jungkook wondered. “Or a cousin maybe?”

“I don’t know about cousins, but hyung’s an only child.” Seokmin shook his head lightly.

“What about Suga-ssi?” The tallest asked.

“He’s got an older brother that I know of, but that’s all.” Jungkook pursed his lips in thought, as if trying to come up with another explanation for the unusual similarities.

“You know, I read somewhere that due to probability and sharing genes, we all should have about six or seven people that look like us in the world.” Mingyu wondered where Seokmin had gotten that information. Probably in one of his classes.

“Seriously?” The youngest of the three seemed more curious about the information itself than the mystery first at hand. “You mean there’s at least five more hot guys like me out there?” He grinned, smug and toothy.

“I hope at least one of them is smarter than you.” Mingyu smirked as the smugness was quickly replaced by anger. “But even if that’s true, what are the odds that two of them are in the same country?” The taller wondered out, referring back to the two in the kitchen.

“I don’t know, I don’t think there’s a rule for where they are born.” Seokmin blinked, scratching the back of his head.

“So you’re saying hyung actually found like, his genetic copy?” Jungkook wondered out, looking back at the two.

“Well, a _shorter_ genetic copy.” Mingyu added, following the younger’s stare.

Jungkook snickered at that. “And I didn’t even think that was possible.”

Both were grinning then before a “ _Jungkook-ah_ ” and “ _Mingyu-ah_ ” sounded through the room, causing both friends to gulp simultaneously.

_Shit._

The two subjects of their conversation were looking at them now, eyes sharp and unamused. Seokmin, the smartass, managed to escape.

“Yes?” They didn’t mean to ask in unison, but it happened anyway.

“You do know we can hear everything you say, right?” Suga raised a brow, and Mingyu could feel a chill rushing down his spine.

“…Everything?” Jungkook spluttered, eyes big and round.

“ _Everything_.” Jihoon pronounced every syllable perfectly, like he did when his patience was slow and he was in no mood to repeat himself.

Great. Apparently he didn’t have to worry about SIDEM anymore, because Min Yoongi and Jihoon would maim him themselves.

Mingyu chuckled awkwardly, pulling his friend back and away from the growing atmosphere of despair while perhaps using him as a shield. “Well, that’s great, so we’ll leave you two to work—“

“Yeah, you guys are probably super busy.” Jungkook added.

“Yeah, don’t wanna intrude.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook repeated, wetting his lips with a forced laugh. “So, uh, bye—“

Mingyu didn’t risk staying around any longer before bolting out of there, only hearing a “idiots” that he didn’t know who it came from. Probably both.

 

 

——

 

 

“Green is not a great color on you.” The corner of his lips tilted upwards as Seungcheol stood up a bit straighter, trying to act as if he hadn’t been startled by the sudden remark.

“What?” The leader only looked over his shoulder to scowl at Jisoo. He then quickly assessed his own clothes, the frown turning into more of a confused one. “I’m not wearing any green.”

“Well, you’re so jealous you’re practically tuning green.” Jisoo teased, taking the spot next to him now.

Seungcheol scoffed lightly. “I’m not jealous.”

“Uh-huh…” The younger snickered, looking back at what previously had the other’s attention. “And you hadn’t been staring at them for the last ten minutes.”

The ‘them’ Jisoo referred to were the two boys on the arm chair. More specifically, Jeonghan who sat on the chair and Taehyung, who squeezed between him and the arm of the chair in a position that probably lacked any comfort, with one arm stretched over the blond’s shoulders and his other free hand linked into Jeonghan’s.

“I’ve not been— Ten minutes? Really?” Seungcheol seemed to groan internally, and Jisoo couldn’t help but chuckle at his boyfriend’s childish antics.

“Probably longer, I haven’t been counting.” The American pointed out, now getting a proper annoyed groan from the elder.

“Fine, but I’m not jealous. I mean, I’m happy they got to reunite, right? It’s fine. I don’t get why we never knew about it, but other than that it’s totally fine. _Peachy_.”

“How can you date us and still be a terrible actor?” Jisoo snickered, smile softening at his boyfriend’s disheartened pout.

“But I really am fine!” The leader insisted, and on some level Jisoo believed him. Seungcheol would never be the obsessive type. He got a bit jealous of others sometimes, yes, but it was never in a toxic way. They all trusted each other, and they knew they’d never do something to hurt one another.

But Seungcheol was still a kid at heart, and sometimes watching one of them share their affection with someone else, especially someone new, made him a little bit grumpy. Which if you asked Jisoo, he found it kind of adorable.

Yet, he felt this wasn’t really all that was behind the older’s staring marathon.

“I just…” There it was. “I don’t know, I know we’re not entitled to know everything about Hannie, and I know he doesn’t have to tell us everything, but… Doesn’t it feel a bit weird to not even know he had a friend like him?”

“What do you mean?” Jisoo wondered.

“I mean, they seem super close, right?” Seungcheol reasoned, making the younger take a look at them again. ‘Close’ was certainly a word to describe it. The way they held each other, the words exchanged through whispers and bright laughs. Anyone could’ve easily guessed they’d known each other for years.

“I know Hannie doesn’t have to tell us anything.” The leader repeated in a smaller voice. “But why wouldn’t he want to?”

That was a good question. And even after years of getting to know Jeonghan, he still felt as if they had only reached the tip of the iceberg.

“I get what you’re saying.” Joshua hummed, watching the two friends as they giggled and talked about some of their old shenanigans. “But you know how he is. Hannie doesn’t love sharing about things that happened a long time ago.”

“But they seem happy, right?” Seungcheol pointed out. “Why wouldn’t he share? He loves talking about his sister with us. I mean, what if they were—“

Jisoo snickered kindly, if that was even possible. Like mentioned, he couldn’t help but think the older was cute when he got a little bit jealous.

“You’re overthinking it, Cheollie.” He reassured him, sliding a hand over his shoulder to squeeze it gently.

“You’re not worried at all?” The leader’s tone was a bit skeptical.

“Of course not. I think if that was the case, Jeonghan would’ve _definitely_ told us.” Joshua reasoned.

“You sure about that?” Seungcheol nudged his side with a smirk, getting his attention back on the two on the chair.

And yes, he was sure. Jisoo was sure Jeonghan and Taehyung didn’t share anything other than a close friendship. And he was sure Jeonghan would’ve told them about it if that was ever the case.

However, Jisoo couldn’t help his stomach from turning as he watched the other’s fingers slide through his boyfriend’s hair, brushing it slowly while admiring the light blond color. How he took a small tuff of hair and pulled an elastic band out of nowhere to tie it on top of his head. How the two giggled at the ridiculous hairstyle.

“Still not jealous?” Seungcheol’s amused voice snapped him out of the apparent frown that had formed on his forehead.

“No, of course not.” Jisoo’s jaw clenched involuntarily, not having anything to do with the way Taehyung played with Jeonghan’s hair.

“You wanna repeat that after you stop breaking my shoulder?” The older teased, referring to the vice grip Jisoo now had on him. The boy hadn’t even realized.

The younger scoffed, pulling his hand back while ignoring the leader’s chuckles. “I’m not.”

“Good, there’s nothing to worry about.” A soft voice suddenly joined them, though along with it came a smiling Jimin and a grumpy looking Jungkook. The former took Joshua’s side while the latter stood by Seungcheol, arms crossed and frown evident. He’d be intimidating if he didn’t look like a small angry bunny.

“How so?” Seungcheol raised a brow.

“Tae’s like that with everyone.” Jimin smiled softly. “I mean, not everyone, but everyone he likes. He’s not trying to start anything, he’s just cuddly.”

Jisoo hummed, looking between him and the boy on the chair. “Are you two…?” He wondered, pointing at the two.

Jimin laughed then, soft and bright and Jisoo wondered how the hell did that boy get into their line of business. Then he thought about Seokmin and Hansol and suddenly remembered not everything made sense in their work.

“Three, actually.” Jimin corrected, tilting his head towards the angry boy on the other side.

“Huh…” Perhaps they had more in common than he’d thought. “Did you know about Jeonghan?” Jisoo found himself asking before he could think about it.

“No, first time hearing about it.” Jimin admitted.

“And none of that bothers you?” Seungcheol wondered out, raising a brow. “Not even a little bit.”

“Nah.” The other shook his head, his eyes becoming softer as he stared at the friends sharing the arm chair. “It actually makes me a bit happy, you know?”

“How so?” The american blinked.

“Well, I don’t know about Jeonghan-ssi, but Tae Tae had a pretty rough time before joining us.” A small frown suddenly took over, marring his otherwise soft look. It was gone in a moment though, as he continued to watch the others. “I don’t know, it brings me some comfort to know he had a good friend back then. That he wasn’t alone.”

Jisoo paused then, following his line of sight. He couldn’t know what that guy had gone through, but he knew Jeonghan’s life hadn’t been the easiest before they met, either. And as he thought about him having someone to lean on, his chest squeezed gently, but in a good way.

“I think I get it.” He admitted, sharing a small smile with the other.

“Well, I don’t.” The youngest then spoke out, still frowning like a child. “Just because they’re friends doesn’t mean that guy has to throw himself all over hyung.”

“ _Excuse me_?” Seungcheol scoffed then, looking at the boy with a look that read ‘you did not just say that’. “In case your eye sight is bad, Taehyung is _literally_ thrown over Jeonghan, not the other way around.”

“Yeah, but hyung is like that, that guy is just taking advantage of his good, stupid heart.” Jungkook insisted, and Jisoo would’ve been offended if he didn’t recognize this as a simple show of jealousy.

If he thought Seungcheol was childish, Jungkook was outright a baby.

And it was hilarious.

Jimin seemed to think that as well, given he too made no effort to stop their bickering whatsoever. Instead, the two simply stood while they continued to exchange their silly accusations.

“How old do you think you are to talk like that, kid?” The leader raised his voice a bit

“Definitely not as old as you, grandpa.” Jungkook spat back.

“I’ll show you who’s the fucking grandpa when I’m kicking your ass.”

“Bring it on, old man.”

“Shua!” Despite only his name being called, the four turned to look at Jeonghan, who waved at him even though they were not that far away.

“Yeah?” The younger blinked, slowly approaching his boyfriend.

“I totally forgot, but you and Tae share a birthday!” Jeonghan grinned brightly, while his friend blinked between, looking as confused as Joshua probably was.

“Uh?” They all had approached them bright now. Joshua wasn’t sure if Jeonghan’s call was simply a coincidence or an attempt to bring peace. Probably the latter.

“When’s your birthday?” Taehyung suddenly asked him, eyes big and curious.

“Uuh, December 30th.” Jisoo replied, sratching his head.

“93?” The other asked again, and Jisoo nodded. “Oh my God, me too!” In a flash, Taehyung was jumping up and throwing an arm around Jisoo’s shoulder’s taking him completely by surprise. Joshua had no time to be upset though, because the boy was wearing a smile the size of the house they were in, big, square and bright.

“We could be brothers!” Taehyung gasped, and now Jisoo understood what Jimin meant when he said the boy was like that with everyone.

He sensed no malice in the other’s words, no teasing in the way he held him. Taehyung seemed to wear his heart on his sleeve, an entire opposite of Jeonghan, but somehow that made Jisoo feel even better. Jimin had made an excellent point. He was glad Jeonghan had someone like him when he was going through what he’d gone through.

“We got more in common than I thought, huh?” Jisoo voiced out now with a warm smile.

Perhaps that wasn’t such a bad thing.

 

 

 

——

 

 

“I’m impressed.”

Seungcheol blinked at the statement, turning his head to look at who it came from. Namjoon was the one approaching him, with crossed arms and a welcoming smile, one that made Seungcheol drop any guard he might’ve had.

“With what?” The younger wondered, turning his eyes back to what had his attention, which was Seokjin and Seokmin much too excited with a Mario Kart race, with some of the others cheering them on with their own organized chants. “How loud they can be?”

“Oh no, I never doubted how loud they could be. Especially considering Jin-hyung and Hobi are in the mix.” The taller snorted, though he soon raised a brow at him. “Though I gotta say, that Seokmin guy truly takes the trophy.”

“It’s a known fact between us that Seokmin was born with a megaphone instead of vocal chords.” Seungcheol smirked, proud that he managed to make the other laugh as well.

“I wouldn’t doubt that, honestly.” He chuckled, wetting his lips. “But actually, I was going to say, I’m impressed with that Ming Ming kid.”

Seungcheol couldn’t help the way his face suddenly turned sour, finding the guy standing behind the couch in the living room. He wasn’t cheering along or playing with them, but he wasn’t completely not taking part of the whole thing either. The leader could see he was at least interested in the game.

“Why’s that?” The shorter tried not to sound so bitter. There was barely anything impressive about him.

“After what you told me, I’m not sure I’d be able to let him get away with it so easily. Let alone keep him around.”

Seungcheol spared a glance at the other, wondering if this was his way of telling him he made a bad decision. Apparently, Namjoon was able to read him easily.

“I’m not judging you, really.” The elder reassured him, and truly, his eyes weren’t laced with any superiority. “I’m just curious to why you’re doing this for him.”

“It wasn’t my choice.” Seungcheol admitted with a soft sigh. “Or it was, in a way. My choice was to let Jun decide what to do with him, and he decided to help. It wouldn’t be fair of me to back out. And it turns out that after all that’s been going on, he might be useful, so.”

“So you trust him?” Namjoon wondered, making Seungcheol snicker.

“Ming Ming? Not at all. But I’m working with what I got.” The younger shrugged, though even if he tried, he knew he wouldn’t seem as nonchalant as he wished.

“I meant Jun.” The taller clarified. “Do you trust him?”

“Of course.” Seungcheol didn’t waist a moment before replying, blinking at the man next to him. “I trust all of them.” He added then, looking back at the few that were in the living room. “…They’re my family.”

Seungcheol only realized how cheesy that sounded after he had said it, but apparently Namjoon didn’t think so. The male only hummed, easing Seungcheol’s nerves a bit.

“You’re doing a good job.” His voice was low and steady, fit for a leader, if you asked him. “You’re not trusting that Ming Ming guy, and you shouldn’t, but you’re trusting your friend and his judgment. And that’s the best thing you can do right now, given the situation.”

Seungcheol swallowed quietly, taken a bit by surprise. He wasn’t expecting to gain advice from the elder, or to share some personal leader talk, whatever one could call it. But it felt nice, nonetheless. Reassuring. Because Seungcheol knew that if he asked Jisoo or Jeonghan or even Jihoon, they’d tell him he was doing the right thing. However, to hear that not only from someone who didn’t know him, but who had no reason to make him feel better about himself, made a world’s difference.

“Thanks.” Seungcheol cleared his throat as he mumbled out, trying not to seem so flustered.

“Here to help.” Namjoon only replied with a dimpled smile, hands now snaking down to hide in the pockets of his hoodie. “There’s one more thing, though.”

“Hm?” Seungcheol blinked again, watching the other.

“I don’t know if you’ve ever done it, but I got a feeling you haven’t.” The taller sighed, shoulders tensing a bit. Seungcheol couldn’t know what he was talking about yet, but anyone could see it was something serious. “But you know that there’s a good chance you’ll have to end these guys, right?” He let out a small huff, as if the subject bothered him.

End them…? “You mean…”

“Kill them.” Namjoon blurted out, making the younger wonder if he was the same guy that had approached him five minutes ago.

At the same time that he didn’t seem to enjoy the topic, he also spoke of it as if it wasn’t as big of a deal as it should be. Perhaps it really wasn’t, to him. But it still caused a weird feeling in Seungcheol’s stomach, one that made the truth a bit harder to swallow.

“Most of us haven’t, no.” Seungcheol answered after clearing his throat, taking a quick glance at Minghao, who sat next to Seokmin on the couch, laughing and slapping his shoulder once in a while. “The ones that did I wish would never have to do it again.”

“We all wished we wouldn’t have to.” Namjoon added, voice leaving no room for doubts. “But you’ve let them escape once, and they came after you. What makes you so sure they won’t do it again?”

The younger pressed his lips together, looking again at the ones in the living room. It seemed almost unreal, that after all they had been through, they could still play along and laugh as if nothing was going on. As if they weren’t being practically chased by some evil corporation.

Seungcheol inhaled deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose. Could he ask that of them? Could he ask that of himself? He had been to more fights he could count, and he had had no problem in hurting people or blowing up hallways. But could he kill someone? Could he go through that and stay the same?

“This isn’t me telling you what to do, you know.” Namjoon reassured him yet again, placing a warm hand on his upper back. “But I’ve been through that. At some point, we all gotta make that decision, in our line of work.”

“How did you do it?” Seungcheol spoke lowly, a bit afraid someone else might hear them.

“Wasn’t easy. I tried looking for other alternatives, I really did. But in the end, Hobi said something that made everything clear. It was either the bad guys, or them.” He nudged his chin towards the guys roaring at the game, laughing and shouting like kids.

“Then it became easy.” Namjoon hummed, eyes softening as he stared at his friends. “It’s them, it was always them. No bad guy, no moral compass, no guilt is worth getting them hurt.”

And Seungcheol understood, he truly did. To his very core, he understood. What he felt for his friend, his family, was stronger than any guilt that could come from such decision. Any part of him that he might lose, it’d be worth their safety. He’d do anything for them.

“How did you feel?” He still wondered, because the idea still scared him a bit, even if he knew what he had to do.

“How did I feel? Awful.” Namjoon snickered, though his grin soon softened. “But do I regret it? No. Not at all, not one bit.” He pulled his hand back, shrugging a bit as both of them looked at their friends. “They’re my family too, you know? I regret a lot of things in life, but meeting them is definitely not one of them.”

Seungcheol hummed, watching as Seungkwan acted as a cheerleader, Hansol laughing his ass off at his antics while the rest tried to focus on the game. He knew that often he wondered. Wondered if Seungkwan and Seokmin wouldn’t have been better off just focusing on their school. If Mingyu wouldn’t have been happier if he had stayed with his family, or Jeonghan with his sister. If Chan wouldn’t have had greater opportunities if he had stayed with their foster parents.

Those were questions that cursed his mind from time to time. When he couldn’t sleep, when they’d had a bad encounter. Question he couldn’t have the answer to, because they were simply ‘what if’s.

But Namjoon had a point, and a great one at that.

Not for a fraction of a second did he ever regret meeting them. Any of them.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS AND HITS AND BOOKMARKS AND EVERYTHING!
> 
> This chapter was truly harder to write than I expected. And it didn't really turn out as I intended, but I think this was the right way to go. 
> 
> Thank you so much for waiting this long! I usually try not to pas 3 weeks, but there was a lot happening at the beginning of this month and I didn't have much time to write. And when I did, I had like zero inspiration. So thank you for the patience.
> 
> I know a lot of people were excited for bangtan showing up so I HOPE THIS ISN'T TOO MUCH OF A MESS- OTL
> 
> Oh also, in case you didn't see, I made a twitter! Idk why. I kinda feel bad for not being able to update you guys in between chapters and I like reading your thoughts so I made a twitter for writing etc. So if you wanna approach me there feel free to do so! (just no super personal questions ofc) Anyway my username is @fastpacingg  
>  ~~tbh Idk if I'll use it much or if I'll just use my main at some point, but either way I figured I could give it a go~~
> 
> I always re-read before posting but something always slips by, so if you see a typo or anything please don't be afraid to let me know, it'd be helping me a lot!!
> 
> Once again thank you so much and please feel free to let me know what you're thinking about the fic! I love reading your comments, really!!


	33. I think it’s a lie that I want to forget you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What did you say to them?”
> 
> Junhui could tell he was hesitant, perhaps afraid of what he’d hear. Or maybe Junhui was just reading too much into it. He used to be able to practically spell what Ming Ming was thinking, but that had been years ago.
> 
> “That I needed to do this.” He directed his attention to the ball again, watching it go back and forth. “That I know they’re only looking out for me, but I couldn’t just run away from my problems forever.”
> 
> “Like I did?”
> 
>  
> 
> _Thump._
> 
>  
> 
> “Like you did.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey quick notice, I made a mistake next chapter where I said tae & shua are from 95, but in this fic they're all 2 years older, so they're actually from 93.
> 
> Also I made a twitter for updates and stuff !! In case you're into that it's @fastpacingg

 

 

In the short weekend Bangtan had stayed with them, Jeonghan had almost grown used to their presence.

The house had become considerably louder, yes, but in a good way. There was always someone talking, be it about the job, about what to order for take out, or even about what anime they were all raving over at the moment. It was sweet. A bit tiring, yes, but a good kind of tired, like after one had a sleep over with their friends.

Only this sleep over involved a lot of work and an unhealthy amount of coffee.

However, now that they were all gathered around the living room, some on the couches and some on the floor, listening to Seungcheol, Namjoon and Jihoon explain what sort of plan they had come up with, Jeonghan felt almost nostalgic already. They were mostly quiet, paying attention to what the three had to say as they describe the structure of the building they managed to hack into. It felt almost… Natural.

Perhaps it helped that Taehyung had been there with them. His old friend hadn’t left his side since they were reunited, and Jeonghan couldn’t complain. Maybe he felt a tiny bit guilty for neglecting his other friends, his group, for a little bit. But Taehyung had been his best friend when he didn’t have anyone else, and now he just wanted to spend every second together before he had to leave.

Thankfully, his friend seemed to share the same feeling, as he was once again half squeezed next to him on the arm chair, their hands linked together with Taehyung’s thumb brushing against his skin. He loved his group, he truly did, they were his family. But he missed this too.

“So we can’t get access to the surveillance system until I’m actually in the building.” Jeonghan snapped out of his thoughts to pay attention to what Seungcheol had to say.

“But didn’t you say you found a way to hack into their network?” Seungkwan questioned, proving he was focus on what they had to say. “Can’t we just get into the system through that?”

“Yes and no.” Jihoon informed them. “We found their network, and we know a way to get into it, but we’ll need to reboot the system, and they’ll notice.”

“They system reboots automatically every half hour.” Yoongi continued to explain, though he sat on the floor not too far from the three. “Every time it reboots, everything changes. We lose access to the cameras, the codes, everything.”

“Yes, so we need to reboot them ourselves and hack into them the exact moment their reboot is already scheduled.” Wonwoo added.

“That way they won’t notice it.” Seokmin concluded with a slight nod.

“We already know their schedule, we just need to make sure Cheol-hyung arrives there at the right time so we can have our eyes on him.” Jihoon continued, arms crossed over his chest.

“Alright, you get access to the cameras, and then what?” Samuel asked then, because even if he wasn’t going to be a part of the job, he still insisted in knowing everything.

“We’ll need to find out where they keep their mainframe computer.” Seungcheol answered before directing the word to the younger hacker. “Jihoon?”

“We managed to make the virus work remotely.” The shorter informed then, and Jeonghan didn’t miss the way Yoongi’s lips curled slightly at the corners. Prideful one, apparently. Not that he could judge, Jeonghan snickered to himself.

“It’ll work automatically once it’s plugged into the computer. It’ll immediately send the information to us and we can spread it whichever way we like.”

“But its gotta be the last thing we do.” Wonwoo reminded them. “They’ll notice the moment it’s all being leaked out.”

“That’s where the explosives come in.” Soonyoung spoke then, showing he too was already aware of the whole plan.

Not only because Seungcheol always ran everything by him and Jihoon first, but also because they had already approached a few of them with their jobs. For Jeonghan, this was more like a big review than an actual introduction to the plan. He already knew what he’d have to do, and he was sure the others did too, though some of them were only now hearing the full explanation of it.

“Explosives?” Doyoon raised a brow, perhaps a bit incredulous.

“We’ll provide them, given you had to leave everything behind in your old HQ.” Jeonghan had to control himself not to laugh when Namjoon referred to their apartment as an HQ. If he’d seen the amount of dirty laundry they had thrown around, he’d probably call it anything but that.

“We’ll plant them, and set them off as soon as the virus is running. It’ll serve as a distraction.” Seungcheol explained.

“Won’t you still be in there?” Chan frowned, already suspicious of his brother’s plan. Jeonghan didn’t blame him.

“Hopefully not. And even if so, we’ll plant them strategically. Not close to where we are nor to the computers.”

“You’d still be in there.” Jisoo pointed out with a hint of displeasure in his voice.

Jeonghan didn’t really expect anything less. Their boyfriend was quick to voice his annoyance at the fact that Seungcheol was basically walking in there with no back up. Jeonghan himself wasn’t exactly pleased either, but he still had the fact that he was going into the building as well.

Jisoo, however, had to stand by the sidelines, like he often did. And Jeonghan knew that bothered the younger more than he let through.

“If it’s the case, we won’t blow it up.” Jihoon tried to give him some sort of reassurance.

“Okay, wait, so who’s doing what?” Jungkook asked out, probably sensing the bit of tension in the room.

“I’m arranging a meeting with them. They sent the invitation, they know I’ll be coming.” Seungcheol began, nodding firmly.

“Alright, you’re going through the front door, but how the hell is anyone else getting in there?” Mingyu pointed out.

“While I’m distracting them,” Seungcheol insisted with a tone of ‘if you let me continue you’d know’. “Jihoon and Wonwoo will reboot the system.”

“That’s when we go in.” Soonyoung replied.

“We?” Chan questioned, not entirely sure who he was referring to.

“Minghao and I will go in to set the explosives, while Jeonghan-hyung and Ming Ming go in to install the virus.”

Jeonghan could feel Taehyung’s hand squeeze around his a bit, but he hoped it was only a reflex.

“Wait, what?” Mingyu’s brows shot up before he frowned slightly, looking around at all of them. “Who decided this? And why the hell is Ming Ming going?”

“We decided it.” Jeonghan spoke out, soft but still firm, letting them know it was no longer up for discussion. “Ming Ming knows the way out, so he knows the way in. And if we can’t hack into the cameras, he’ll still know where most things are.”

“Soonyoung and Minghao are the sneakiest ones, and they don’t know Minghao yet. It’s our best bet.” Seungcheol tried to explain the best way he could, though it didn’t seem to soothe the sour look on Mingyu’s face.

“What if he betrays us?” The younger directed his look at Ming Ming, who hadn’t shared a word yet. “Why is hyung going with him?”

“Because given the options, I’m the more skilled to do it.” It would actually be Soonyoung or Minghao, but they were needed somewhere else. “And one of the few that can currently share a room with him without actively wanting to kill him. Minghao wouldn’t be able to focus, and neither would you.”

And perhaps Mingyu knew it was true, if his bitter silence was anything to go by.

Truth was, those were the convenient reasons. The actual reason was that there was no way in hell Jeonghan would let Seungcheol or any of the guys go into that place while he sat on his ass. He knew it was selfish, and the leader himself had already attempted at making him back out, but if Jeonghan could be one stubborn bull when he felt like it.

“The ones who won’t go in can monitor through the intercoms.” Seungcheol told them, though he knew it wasn’t much of a reassurance. “Wonwoo insisted on being close to the location, in the car, so we can arrange a few people to be with him. We’ll also need someone to drive Soonyoung and Minghao. Jeonghan, Ming Ming and I will go in our own.”

“I’ll drive hyung and Hao.” Mingyu offered them, raising his hand.

“Wait, where do we come in?” Jimin questioned them, droopy eyes blinking at their leader.

“We don’t.” Namjoon answered with no spite in his voice, just honesty and confidence. “We were asked to provide help with gathering information and developing the virus, however we will not be going into the mission. That’s their job.”

“Wait, what?” Jungkook asked out loudly. “Hyung, we’re supposed to help them!”

“And you did.” Seungcheol cut in then. “You already helped us plan, develop the virus, and will be lending us gear. That’s more help we could’ve asked for.”

“But we can’t just leave when they’re about to—“

“It’s not our job, Jungkook. It’s theirs.” Namjoon spoke with a sense of finality. “I’m glad to help them, but I will not risk your safety over a matter that doesn’t concern us. I can’t do that as a leader.”

“And I wouldn’t expect you to.” Seungcheol added with a friendly smile.

Once again, Jeonghan could feel Taehyung’s hand tighten around his own. This time though, he squeezed back, trying to tell him that everything would be fine.

“Thank you.” Namjoon smiled warmly in return, before clapping once. “Alright, that being said, we should probably start packing up.” He called, while the rest of them began groaning as they pushed themselves up. “Well be stopping by tomorrow to drop the gear.”

“Thanks.” Seungcheol thanked the man with something between a hand shake and a hug, along with a pat on the back.

Jeonghan also pushed himself off the chair so Taehyung could get up as well, sharing a warm grin with his friend. He knew they’d be leaving eventually, but he still felt a bit sad he couldn’t spend more time with him.

“You’ll be careful, right?” The way Taehyung frowned in concern almost took him back eight years ago.

“I always am.” Jeonghan smirked, winking at the other.

Taehyung scoffed at that, before actually sniggering. “You never are. You forget I’ve known you since forever, Yoon Jeonghan.”

The blonde laughed at that, and alright, maybe Taehyung had a point. He did have a tendency of being a bit… Reckless, sometimes.

“I’m a bit more careful now.” Jeonghan insisted, wetting his lips while glancing at their friends. “They made me more careful, I guess.”

“I’m glad.” Taehyung smiled brightly, square and just like Jeonghan remembered. “I’m glad you found them.”

“I’m glad you found them, too.” Jeonghan referred to the other’s group, of course.

He always worried about Taehyung. He was a tender heart that grew up surrounded by weeds, and though Jeonghan knew he was strong, he was afraid his kindness would get the best of him.

“That day…” _The day you left_ , he meant, though he didn’t need to say it. Jeonghan wet his lips, taking a moment before glancing back at the other. “It was on the news, your father.” He already regretted bringing it up, watching the way the smile disappeared from his friend’s face. “Was it you…?”

Taehyung pressed his lips together, looking down before a small chuckle escaped him. It wasn’t bright like the smile from before though. It was dry and cold. “Will you hate me, if I say it was?”

“I’d never hate you.” Jeonghan replied quickly, smiling softly. “And I’d definitely not hate you for that. He deserved it.”

“You don’t even know what happened.” Taehyung blinked up at him, perhaps perplexed at his friend’s lack of surprise or disappointment.

“But I know you. I know you wouldn’t do such a thing unless you absolutely had to. Even to him.” The older added, placing a hand on his shoulder. “If anything, I’m a little bit jealous.”

The other’s expression soured a bit again, though it seemed to lean more into concern. “You don’t wish you had done that.”

“No, no I don’t.” Jeonghan smiled small, shrugging a bit as he took his hand back. “I just wish I could do more.” More than he did, which was nothing. Maybe even less than nothing.

Taehyung licked his lips, taking his words before humming. He knew, how hard it was. Hell, he hadn’t even harder than Jeonghan. Much harder. But he understood, in a way. In a way Jeonghan wasn’t sure the others did.

The younger suddenly pulled him into a hug then, the two of them sharing so much in such few words while the others ran about the living room as if they were invisible.

“Don’t push them away.” Taehyung spoke softly, and Jeonghan felt himself clinging to the back of his denim jacket.

“I’m trying, I really am.” Jeonghan confessed, holding the other a bit closer to himself. “It’s just sometimes—”

“It’s hard. I know, I’m trying too.” Taehyung completed, pulling back a bit to look at him with a warm smile. “But I think it’s really worth it.”

Jeonghan hummed, chancing a glance at the boys in the living room, who were helping Bangtan pack up while chatting about everything and nothing at the same time.

“I think so to.”

_I hope so._

 

 

——

 

 

Soonyoung knew it wasn’t exactly the right time for this. With their plan pretty much figured out and everything kind of on the move, they didn’t have much time to spare for conversations that didn’t involve the job ahead. And Soonyoung had managed to not talk about it for a long time. A really long time, considering when it all had actually began, and honestly, he was fine with it. He wasn’t repressing anything or suffering inside or anything like that. He was actually fine, in the good sense of the word.

However, as the mission approached, it was like all the feelings he didn’t worry about before were suddenly taking over his every thought. Like there was an inner countdown telling him he had to figure that shit out before the mission, because what if—

Soonyoung didn’t even want to think of what if, to be honest.

With teeth worrying his lower lip, he pushed open the door to the kitchen, thankfully finding his friend alone.

“Hey.” The thief called to the boy by the kitchen table, who barely spared him a glance. He offered his best, brightest smile, closing the door behind him and hoping no one would want to come barging in any time soon. They were mostly busy with preparations, anyway.

“…What do you want?” Jihoon focused his attention back on his laptop screen, making the taller scoff.

“Excuse me, why do you assume I want anything?” Soonyoung questioned, evidently insulted. “Can’t I just come and hang with my friend?”

Jihoon spared him a look that showed he didn’t believe anything he said, eyes bored and brows straight. “I’d rather you didn’t.”

Soonyoung gaped before frowning. “You break my heart, you know that?”

The hacker’s eyes rolled under his lids before they looked at Soonyoung again, with still no grain of amusement. “Just tell me what you want already.”

Soonyoung glared at the other before sighing. There was no point in trying to convince the boy otherwise, apparently.

Especially since he truly was there to ask for something.

“I need some… Advice.” The thief admitted as he pulled back a chair and plopped down next to his friend, knee bent so he could sit on his right foot.

“Advice?” One of his brows shot up. “From me? You know that’s not really my forte, right?”

Soonyoung disagreed with him. Sure, when they had their talks it was mostly silly stuff, and sometimes in between the stupid subject, Soonyoung would be the one to help Jihoon out with his emotional constipation problems.

Nevertheless, Jihoon still helped him more often than not. His friend would always be honest, but Soonyoung liked the honesty. Because when Jihoon would praise him, he’d know it was real. When Jihoon would say he was listening, he’d know he meant it.

“Well, you’re the only one I can talk to.” Soonyoung admitted, pursing his lips as he scratched the back of his neck. “Or I mean, the only one I think I can talk to. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

He could talk to Junhui as well, perhaps in a way it would be easier. Would require much less explaining, at least. However, Jun already had a lot on his plate at the moment, he didn’t need more things to worry about. And besides, as vague as he could sound, he didn’t feel like he needed to talk to Junhui.

He needed to talk to Jihoon.

And perhaps the younger sensed that, because he gently pushed away his laptop and turned halfway to properly look at Soonyoung. See? Jihoon always listened.

“Alright, what kind of advice?” Jihoon asked, blinking up at him.

What kind of advice? That was a good question. How did he say ‘the kind of advice that helps me figure out what the hell am I supposed to do about something that happened ages ago and it never bothered me until very recently’?

“Uuh, feelings advice?” Soonyoung smiled awkwardly, not missing the way the other’s nose scrunched up a bit.

“You’re really not in my field here.”

“I know, I know.” Soonyoung sighed, pushing his brown hair back. “I just, okay, hear me out first, alright?”

Jihoon raised a brow, but nodded nonetheless.

“Okay, so… I did something, with someone, a while ago. Like a year ago. More than a year ago, actually. Okay?” Jihoon blinked yet again, but also nodded, showing he was following. “And it was something like, that we both wanted at the time? Also we were kinda drunk? But afterwards we talked and we decided that it didn’t mean anything.”

Soonyoung avoided the other’s eyes for now, shrugging a bit. “Or more like we agreed that even if it meant something, we liked how things were before it happened and we didn’t wanna change it.”

“Alright…” Jihoon spoke slowly, as if trying to catch all the breadcrumbs.

“And I was fine with that, you know? Like, actually fine, not the ‘i hate my life’ fine.” Soonyoung huffed, partly annoyed at his own feelings.

“And now you’re not anymore?” The younger guesses.

“Yes? No? I don’t know—“ Soonyoung groaned, pulling at his own hair a bit. “Because like, it kinda happened again? A few months ago. But it wasn’t the same thing. It was more… Romancey?”

“I think the word you’re looking for is romantic.”

“Yeah, I guess, and kinda cute. And I don’t know, it was even less than what happened the first time,but it’s still something. And I guess we both figured it’d be like before and we didn’t need to make a big deal out of it, right?” Soonyoung didn’t realize he was babbling at this point, barely catching up to his own words.

“So we didn’t talk about it and it was fine, really fine, but now all this shit’s been going on and I’ve been wondering if it’s not fine, and I kinda did something for him and didn’t tell him I did it, but he probably knows because he’s a fucking genius, and I don’t know if I screwed up what he had and made it a bigger deal than it already was— But what if I wanted to? What if I wanted it to be more and now—“

“ _Soonyoung_.” Jihoon called, rubbing at his temples in a manner that made the older wonder if it was the first time the hacker had called him. “Slow down. Breathe.”

And Soonyoung did so, taking a deep breath and holding it for an extra couple of seconds, before exhaling with a slight pout. He was a mess.

“Just, tell me what you did.” Jihoon asked then, eyes much softer. “I’m not gonna judge you.”

“I—“ Soonyoung pressed his lips together, wondering if he should. Because way back when, they had promised each other not to tell anyone. Or anyone else, at least. But now Soonyoung was freaking out and he really, really needed Jihoon.

“I might have, kinda, maybe,” Soonyoung cleared his throat. “Possiby—“

“ _Soonyoung_.”

“Ikissedwonwoo.” He blurted out, quickly covering his lips with both hands then.

Jihoon blinked a couple of times, and the thief wasn’t sure if he heard or if he was still processing the information. “What?”

The elder took another deep breath then, closing his eyes before uncovering his lips. “I kissed Wonwoo.” Soonyoung’s lids were shut tight before he sneaked a peek at his friend.

“You kissed…” Soonyoung could see the information finally reaching the other when his eyes widened, practically bulging out. “ _You kissed Wonwoo?!_ ”

“Not so loud!” Soonyoung hushed him by covering his mouth, though Jihoon quickly pulled away.

“Wonwoo?! Jeon Wonwoo?!” He whisper shouted now, eyes still big and round.

“Well do you know any other Wonwoo?!” Soonyoung frowned, cheeks burning at this point.

“Why the hell did you kiss Wonwoo?”

“I don’t know! We were drunk!” Soonyoung defended, though he was aware it wasn’t exactly a good defense.

“Wait—“ Jihoon paused, his mind working faster now and Soonyoung wasn’t sure he liked that. “you said a year, then a few months… Did this happen after—“

“The drinking nights?” The older cleared his throat yet again, shrugging a bit as he tried not to show how embarrassed he truly was. “Maybe…”

“The drinking night before you woke up—“ Jihoon paused yet again, his whole frame freezing up.

“Oh god,” The hacker gulped, expression twisting in either disgust or shock, or both. “You were naked! Oh god, did you sleep together?!”

Oh yeah, the naked thing. He had forgotten about that.

“No!” Soonyoung let out, shaking his head quickly. “Well, I mean, technically, yes, but not like that—“

Jihoon groaned then, shifting to hit his head on the table. Repeatedly. “Oh god, oh god, I did not need to know that. I _did_ _not_ need to know that.”

“You said you wouldn’t judge me!” Soonyoung complained.

“You slept with Wonwoo!” Jihoon immediately shut his eyes after that, rubbing his forehead against the surface of the table as if it would erase the thoughts from his head.

“I _didn’t_. I slept with him, but we didn’t like, do it. We just slept.” Soonyoung insisted, because it was the truth. The two had actually panicked when they woke up naked in the bathtub together, but thankful neither of them were the forgetful type, and they knew they hadn’t actually had sex.

“Just slept?” Jihoon glanced over with what seemed like hope in his eyes.

“Yeah.” Soonyoung exhaled slowly, picking at his nails. “And, you know, kissed.” He added. “…And maybe kinda made out. And touched a bit.”

“Touched _what_?” Jihoon’s eyes narrowed.

“Well—“

“No, actually, don’t. I really don’t wanna know.” The shorter sighed, rubbing his now red forehead. “The last thing I need in my mind is you two touching each other.”

“Well, I didn’t tell you to picture it.” Soonyoung pointed out with a huff.

“It’s not the kind of thing that you brush under the rug.” Jihoon replied, though it seemed like he was trying to calm down. The wrinkle between his brows was still very much prominent, making Soonyoung wonder if he had made permanent damage to his friend’s face, but at least now he wasn’t actively cringing.

“It happened both times?” Jihoon asked again, then. “After the drinking nights?”

“Yeah.” Soonyoung wet his lips, somehow even more uncomfortable now that they were heading back to the serious part of the conversation. “Only last time it was more… Like I said, just, less but more. Less kissing, more holding, cuddling…”

“…I really don’t judge you, you know?” Jihoon spoke out then, voice low but steady. “I mean, the image makes me wanna hurl, but like, you’re both adults, you can do what you want.” Soonyoung could feel the tension in his shoulders easing, even if just a bit. “And I mean, you were always kind of obsessed with him, so I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Soonyoung frowned at that, because he was not, _is not_ obsessed with Jeon Wonwoo, thank you very much.

“Does no one else know?” The younger wondered.

“Junnie knows, ‘cause he kinda caught us the first time.” Though thankfully, their friend had agreed not to tell anyone else. “And maybe caught me again last time.”

“Wait,” Jihoon scowled a bit. “Was that way he was angry at you the next day?”

“Yeah, he was kinda annoyed ‘cause we told him it wouldn’t happen again.” Soonyoung snickered slightly, knowing Junhui’s anger only came from a place of fondness. “But you know Junnie, can’t stay mad for long.”

“But it did happen again.” Jihoon pointed out, and it didn’t sound like an accusation. More like he was trying to get where Soonyoung wanted him.

“Yeah.” He smiled small, brushing his hair back once again. “The first time, it wasn’t bad. It felt good. But we knew we couldn’t be… Romantic. It just didn’t feel right.” Soonyoung tried explaining the best he could, though his feelings were a mess even for himself. “And like I mentioned, we were good, you know? Not doing it again. Junnie didn’t agree much, I think he thinks we’re in denial, but we did talk a lot, and we got to that decision together.”

“The decision of _not_ being together?” Jihoon asked, just to be sure.

“Yeah.”

“But now that changed.” The shorter recalled his words from before.

“Not between us, I think, but for me they have.” Soonyoung finally admitted, looking down at his hands. “I like the way things are, but now… Now I keep thinking like, will I still like it in the future? Will I like it in a year or two? Is it just… Gonna be this? Always?”

He shouldn’t be having these feelings. They agreed on keeping things friendly, not changing their dynamics, and it worked fine. Great, even.

“I’m just afraid I’m only freaking out because this big mission is coming along and I’m just scared something might happen.”

Jihoon hummed then, eyes aimed a bit lower. He seemed to be chewing on his bottom lip, perhaps thinking of what words to say.

“I didn’t know how I felt about Jun for long before I confessed. And I know you’re gonna say it was obvious, but it wasn’t obvious to me.” Jihoon admitted. “And the thing that scared me the most was telling him how I felt. ‘Cause it’d change things between us, or maybe he wouldn’t feel the same way, I don’t know.”

The younger exhaled slowly, smiling small before looking up at him. “It was all so stupid. I realized that after he got hurt. It just didn’t matter anymore, if he’d like me back or not, if it’d ruin our friendship. It didn’t matter because there was just so much more at stake, and there was a chance…” He paused then, taking a moment. “There was a chance I’d never be able to say it.”

“Hoon…”

“There was only one thing I regretted that night, Soonie.” Jihoon confessed with honestly in his eyes. “I didn’t regret the job, I didn’t regret sending Jun to that room, I didn’t regret what we did. We had no idea what would happen, and I knew that as much as I wanted to blame myself, I had no control over what happened.” The younger gulped quietly.

“But I had control over what I told him. I had had plenty of chances to tell him how I felt before, and I didn’t. That’s the one thing I regretted at that very moment. That I didn’t tell him how much he mattered to me when I should have.”

Soonyoung didn’t know what to say. He had no idea that was so strong in Jihoon’s heart, but suddenly he understood why he needed to talk to Jihoon, and not anybody else. Jihoon understood. Jihoon knew.

“So I should talk to him?” The thief asked, pressing his lips together.

“Mmh,” The younger nodded. “It doesn’t matter if you’re not sure what you want right now. Just, I know you won’t regret talking to him, Soonie.” The pet name almost chased all his worries away. “Don’t be like me, don’t wait. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

How could Soonyoung not smile at that? Jihoon said he was terrible at advices, but everything he just said proved otherwise.

“Thanks, Hoonie.”

The younger smiled warmly as well, placing a hand over his. “Anytime, Soon.”

 

 

——

 

 

“Channie!”

The voice was whiny yet affectionate, and Chan had heard that whiny tone so many times before, he knew not to flinch when a body threw itself in front of him, landing on the bed and shaking the mattress.

“Hmm?” The boy hummed, though he didn’t even bother looking up, his attention still on the book Wonwoo had lent him.

And honestly, he didn’t even need to look to know his hyung’s pout was intensifying.

“Channie, don’t be rude. Here I am, taking time off my busy day to check on my most precious child—“

“Not your child,”

“And you won’t even spare me a glance. What have I done wrong? Where have I failed as a parent?” Chan rolled his eyes at Jeonghan’s sigh, the elder always being one for dramatics.

“You failed the first time you thought of yourself as my parent.” The youngest pointed out, now glaring from the top of his book.

“Don’t attack me like that, Channie, I’m sensitive.” Jeonghan gasped, placing a hand over his own heart like an overachieving soap opera actor. The older then sat up, legs crossed and hands on his ankles as he now faced Chan, who still sat with his back on the pillow propped up against the headboard and knees bent up in front of him.

“Just tell me what you want.” Chan grumbled, setting his book aside because he knew he wouldn’t get any reading done with his friend there.

“I told you, I want to spend time with you. We haven’t had some alone time in a while, you know?” Jeonghan did have a point, but it wasn’t exactly an oddity considering their circumstances.

“It’s hard to have alone time when we’re sharing a house with fourteen more people, hyung.” The youngest reasoned, raising a brow. In fact, he wasn’t even sure how he managed to get the room for himself. It probably had something to do with dinner being served soon.

“Still, I should make time for my favorite dongsaeng.” Jeonghan tutted, flipping his hair back.

“I thought Seokmin-hyung was your favorite.”

“Nonsense, you were always my favorite, Channie.” The speed in which Jeonghan moved in to pinch his cheeks reminded him that the taller was actually much faster than he usually made himself seem. When Jeonghan actually put effort into things he was most of the times successful.

“Hyung!” The boy complained loudly, swatting his hand away.

Jeonghan only laughed though, bright and bubbly which kind of annoyed him even more, and also kinda didn’t. It was weird.

“Sorry Channie, I just couldn’t resist.” Though his smirk said anything but sorry. “I actually wanted to see if you were okay, too.”

The younger blinked at that, frown softening slightly as he wasn’t sure what the older meant. “Uuh, I think so…? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jeonghan shrugged lightly then, grin becoming a bit more warm and discreet. “I don’t know, I know how you usually feel about not being in missions, especially since you weren’t really given an option.”

Oh, Jeonghan wanted to see if he was okay about _that_. If he was okay about being left out yet again.

“Did hyung put you up to this?” The dark haired raised a brow, suspicious.

Jeonghan scoffed however, visibly offended. “Since when do I let Seungcheol boss me around?”

“Good point.” Cheol hummed, nodding a bit. He knew his brother didn’t really have any say on what Jeonghan did or didn’t.

“I mean, unless it’s on a mission. Or when we feel like changing things up a bit in the—“

“Ew, _hyung_!” Chan scowled, quickly grabbing the pillow behind his back to hit the older with it a few times.

Yet again, Jeonghan simply laughed, weakly shielding himself with his forearms.

“Fine fine, I won’t share, if you’re so delicate about it.” He chuckled, succeeding in stealing the pillow from Chan’s arms to stop the attack. His shoulders then gently dropped to a relaxed posture, gentle smile gracing him once again. “But really, how are you feeling?”

The shift in the atmosphere was quick but smooth, something Jeonghan was talented at. He always managed to make people spill out what was in their heads, in their hearts. Perhaps that’s why he was so good at his job.

“I don’t know, I’m okay.” Chan admitted, shrugging gently. “I mean, I’m not mad about it. Like, I get why hyung doesn’t want me to go in. And sure, I wanna go in, but the other hyungs want to, too, right? So I shouldn’t complain while they don’t get to do the things they want to, either.”

He glanced back at his older friend then, who was blinking at him in what looked like surprise.

“Woah, you’re growing up so fast…”

Chan frowned at that, feeling a tiny tinge of hurt. “Yah, if you’re gonna make fun of me—“

“No, no, I mean it, Channie.” Jeonghan’s brows gently tugged together in concern as he reached out to place a hand on his bare arm. “I mean, I know you’re growing up and all, but that’s really mature of you.”

The younger didn’t know why he felt his cheeks burn at that. Truth was, he was never exceptionally great at receiving unexpected compliment, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like them either.

“Thanks, hyung.” He smiled small before wetting his lips, now shifting a bit so he could sit with his legs crossed as well.

“I mean it.” The older reassured him, pulling his hand back to hold the pillow still on his lap. He pressed his lips together then, eyes looking at Chan as if they could see through him. “But there’s something else bothering you, isn’t there?”

Maybe they could.

The youngest shrugged yet again, hand sneaking up to scratch the side of his neck. “I’m just worried.”

“About Cheol?”

“About all of you, but yeah.” Chan admitted with a sigh, looking to the side as he tried to elaborate. “Like, I know hyung’s the best, and I don’t doubt him at all, it’s just that… This is getting kinda, really,” He gulped quietly, looking back at his friend. “Real.”

Jeonghan, however, only hummed, asking him to continue with a soft nod.

“I know the other times were too, but this… They know us, they know where we lived… And hyung’s just… Walking in through their front door like it’s no big deal.” Chan could feel himself frowning, and perhaps he was worrying a bit too much, but once he started talking it was always harder to stop. “He just, he thinks he’s gotta do this ‘cause he’s the leader or something, and he always wants to be a hero. And I know that’s just who he is, and I like that, I always did.” He was his hero, and Seungcheol was well aware of that.

“I know he’s just doing what has to be done and I think that’s awesome, but also, I just…” The younger’s expression fell as he looked down at his socks, picking at the little balls of fabric by the heel. “I just don’t want him to get hurt.” He mumbled that last part, which he realized made him sound even more like a child, but he didn’t care at this point.

For a moment, he kept his eyes low, simply picking at the sock that was more grey than white by now. He knew Jeonghan was probably tracking back on his earlier statement of calling him mature, but he couldn’t help himself. He worried about his brother, just as much as the older worried about him., and sometimes Chan had a feeling Seungcheol didn’t quite know that.

The younger only blinked when he felt long, slim fingers pushing through his hair, looking up to see the other a couple of inches closer than before and wearing a familiar smile. He brushed his hair back slowly, soothingly, and Chan felt a bit stupid for liking it.

“I get it, I worry about him too.” Jeonghan’s voice felt like a warm blanket. Soft, comforting. “He’s too stubborn for his own good, and this plan has so many things that could go wrong. But you don’t need to worry about that, okay? I’ll take care of him.” The older grinned a bit more cheekly then. “That’s my job.”

Chan frowned however, and he couldn’t say he didn’t miss Jeonghan’s hand as it pulled back. “And who’ll take care of you?”

“Jisoo takes care of me. It’s like our system.” Jeonghan smirked.

“Jisoo won’t be there.”

“Yeah, but just the thought of him nagging me if something happens is enough to keep me on my toes.” The elder snickered, though Chan didn’t find it funny at that time.

“ _Hyung_.” He paused, exhaling slowly with a drop of his shoulders. What could he even say to them? Jeonghan said Seungcheol was stubborn, but he wasn’t much better either.

“You’re my brother too, you know?” The youngest spoke out, seeming to catch the other by surprise. Chan wet his lips, rubbing his neck once again. “Like, you all are, but I mean… You, you and Shua-hyung, you’ve been with hyung for a long time now. Even when you weren’t together, you were already a thing, kinda, and I just… I guess I see you kinda like I see him. Not exactly the same, but… yeah…”

When he risked looking at Jeonghan again, he blinked at the sight. The older seemed to be at a loss for words, which was a first, but there was more. His eyes were unblinking, not too wide, but there was something in them. An odd shine, that probably meant something, but Chan had never been good at reading people.

“I-…” the older paused, gulping before his expression softened to something warmer, almost brotherly, as ironic as it sounded. “Thank you Channie. I’ll do my best, I promise.”

His voice was barely above a whisper, but Chan could tell he meant every word of it.

“I know you will, hyung.” The younger returned his warm grin, along with a gentle nod. “You always do.”

 

 

——

 

 

He could do this. He had to do this. He had not just spent half an hour convincing half of his friend that this was a good idea only to chicken out at the last minute.

Junhui sighed, his hand still overing over the old knob, fingers twitching slightly in the air as if the thing would move on its own. He could do this. Maybe he wished he could’ve thought it over a bit more, but in reality they didn’t have all the time in the world, and he knew that the more he postponed this, the smaller the chance he actually did it.

Taking another deep breath, in hopes of filling his lungs with something other than just oxygen and dust, he grabbed the old brass knob, twisting it open.

All his bravado was gone the moment he spotted the other on the floor with his back against one of the walls. He should’ve said something, at least a greeting to get his attention, but instead he could only find himself clearing his throat awkwardly. At least that worked.

Ming Ming blinked up at Jun, just after catching the red rubber ball he had been throwing at the wall opposite to him. He seemed surprised, which Junhui kind of expected, given he basically hadn’t said a word to him since he had shown up.

“Hey.” The older repeated, nervously wetting his lips before closing the door behind himself.

He hadn’t been to this room yet. Or office, if he wanted to be accurate. There was a desk with a less than modern computer pushed all the way against the far left corner, and a few archives piled on top of it. It was clear they had moved things around to make room for the three futons rolled out on the floor. Ming Ming sat on the one on the right, probably the same one he slept on.

Jun made his way over then, trying not to let his hesitance and anxiety show, though he knew that was a lost cause. Ming Ming had always been able to read him better than anyone.

The older plopped himself down with a slight huff, taking the same position as the other, keeping enough distance so another person could sit beside them as well. It was too close and too far at the same time, and Junhui tried to keep his fingers from twitching by grabbing his knees as he pulled them up close to his chest.

“Uh, can we uh, talk?” Jun’s voice not nearly as firm as he wished, but he knew that just approaching the guy was already one hell of a feat.

“…You wanna talk?” Junhui couldn’t hear judgement in his voice, only confusion, perhaps a bit of surprise. “To me?”

The taller nodded, though now he kept his eyes on his knees. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t, just—“ The other paused, and Junhui could feel his eyes on him. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

He snickered then, and perhaps that helped him relax just a tiny little but. “I already had to convince Minghao, Wonwoo, Jihoon _and_ Cheol-hyung that it was. You really gonna make me have this talk again?”

Junhui glanced at the other, just in time to catch the small smile on his lips. “No, I guess that’s fine.”

“Good, unless you wanna hear the whole speech I had to prepare for them.” Junhui smirked, and despite his joking, it had truly been an exhausting task.

However, knowing his friends cared so deeply for him always brought a warm wave over his body.

“I don’t doubt it.” Ming Ming hummed, looking back at the wall before throwing the ball again. It would make a thump against the hard surface, only to return to his hands once again. “But just out of curiosity,”

 _Thump_.

“What did you say to them?”

Junhui could tell he was hesitant, perhaps afraid of what he’d hear. Or maybe Junhui was just reading too much into it. He used to be able to practically spell what Ming Ming was thinking, but that had been years ago.

“That I needed to do this.” He directed his attention to the ball again, watching it go back and forth. “That I know they’re only looking out for me, but I couldn’t just run away from my problems forever.”

“Like I did?”

 _Thump_.

“Like you did.” Junhui didn’t speak with any bitterness, but he wasn’t going to be dishonest with the other either. He wasn’t holding things back anymore.

The thumping paused for a moment. If Ming Ming was hurt, he didn’t voice it. Junhui didn’t risk looking at him, either. He was strong, but not that strong yet.

“So what did you wanna talk about?” He resumed, throwing the ball once again.

 _Thump_.

“I don’t know.” Junhui admitted, and he truly didn’t. “I had a lot of things I planned to say, lot of questions I wanted to ask, but,”

 _Thump_.

“I don’t really know what to talk about.”

“Well, that’s not like you at all.” Ming Ming pointed out, managing to make Junhui smirk.

“I guess.”

 _Thump_.

“I heard you’re with Jihoon now.” Jun wasn’t sure if he was genuinely curious, or just making small talk, but he could feel his cheeks burning nonetheless.

He only hummed however, nodding a bit.

Ming Ming let out a small chuckle. “That’s nice. You like him?”

Junhui wet his lips, feeling the weird fluttering in his stomach that he hadn’t felt in days. “A lot.” He confessed with no shame this time.

“Good.” Ming Ming nodded, and in the corner of his eyes Junhui could swear he saw him smile. Or maybe he was just imagining it. “He’s a good guy.”

“You weren’t surprised?” Junhui wondered, because most people were, for some reason.

“A little bit.” The younger admitted. “But I guess, looking back, you were always kind of soft for him? You always looked at him with big googly eyes.”

Junhui scoffed, reaching out to push the other one lightly. “I did _not_.”

Ming Ming simply laughed though, barely catching the ball. “You totally did, dude. You looked like the puss in boots when you talked to him.”

Junhui held back a chuckle, pulling his hand back. “Shut up, I like the puss in boots.”

“Well, that explains why you like Jihoon so much.” Ming Ming mused out, throwing the ball again. “Short and sassy.”

 _Thump_.

“He’s so much more, too.” Jun found himself smiling softly, staring at where the red thing hit the wall.

 _Thump_.

“I’m glad.” Ming Ming’s voice was soft, almost comforting, which made Junhui almost uncomfortable for some reason. “I really am, Junnie. You deserve to be happy.”

And then Jun looks at him and he’s staring at the wall, the ball still thumping away. But he had this soft look in his eyes and a hint of a smile on his lips, and Junhui wished he wasn’t so good at picking those things up but he is, and he can’t shut it off.

 _Thump_.

And there’s a space between them that wasn’t before. There’s so much space Junhui feels almost unbalanced. Because in the old days there would be no gap for even an atom between them. He’d be slung over Ming Ming, or the other would be laying his head on his lap, or they would simply be in an uncomfortable position with limbs and muscles aching but they wouldn’t change because it was them.

 _Thump_.

It was him and Ming Ming and the world didn’t matter, because they had each other’s backs.

 _Thump_.

But now it’s him and Ming Ming and a space in between them. A space that isn’t even that large but feels like a fucking ocean. Because he can barely reach out. He can barely will himself to touch him. And he shouldn’t miss touching him, he shouldn’t miss being his friend because he still has so many other friends that he loves just as much. He has a family he loves so, so dearly. But it hurts, it hurts and Junhui can’t do anything. For the more he thinks about it, the more it hurts, the more he wants to do something and can’t decide what, and—

 _Thump_.

Junhui whimpers, wrapping his arms around his legs and holding them close. He hides his face in his knees, trying to hold the small sobs that wreck through him.

Why can’t he fix things? Why can’t he make a decision? Why can’t he hate him or forgive him? He feels his heart pulling itself apart and it hurts so deeply, he only wished he knew what to do.

“Junnie?” He barely noticed the thumping had stopped, but he can feel it.

He feels the warm hand on his back, burning him through his shirt, but he doesn’t flinch nor pull away. He hears the boy much closer than before, but he doesn’t push him back.

As sick as it was, he missed this.

“Junnie, come on, breathe.” He tries to do as Ming Ming says, but there’s a part of him that tells him he shouldn’t, just to spite the other. And he hates how twisted that sounds.

“That’s it, just breathe, okay?” He can hear Ming Ming worrying, and if he closed his eyes tight enough, perhaps he could pretend nothing had ever happened. “Just breathe, you’re doing great…” He rubbed his hand up and down his back, the sobs slowing down but not leaving.

“I wish I could forgive you.” Junhui croaked out, tilting his head to peek at the other.

He looked confused, brows tugging together a bit. Perhaps he hadn’t heard him. “What?”

“I wish I could forgive you.” He repeated, his voice small and weak but he didn’t care anymore.

Ming Ming blinked, a series of small changes to his expression that Junhui tried to read. Surprise, sadness, pain, coldness? He wasn’t sure.

“You shouldn’t.” His eyes were lowered, yet he didn’t pull away. “There’s a reason why I haven’t asked for forgiveness, Jun. And it’s not because I don’t regret it, because the thing I regret most in my life is hurting you. Even more than letting my parents sell me off to the facility.”

And if he was speaking the truth, that said everything, because anyone who’s ever in that place would say that was the most regretful thing they’d ever done.

“But I don’t deserve it.” Ming Ming continued, and Junhui lifted his head a bit to look him in the eyes. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. Not now, at least. Maybe not ever. But I know that if I ask for it, you will want to say yes. You will want to forgive me.”

“I already do.” Junhui confessed with a pathetic little laugh. “I already want to, I just can’t. I can’t find it in myself to do so.”

“Good.” Ming Ming smiled small, and it was truly sad to look at, but Junhui fought the urge to apologize for it. “Don’t do it. Not until I deserve it, if I ever do.”

Junhui gulped, nodding a bit. He knew he was right. And maybe it hurt it even more that Ming Ming knew that better than himself, but the pain had already grown so much inside him that he couldn’t even tell anymore.

“Is that why you’re going in too? To deserve it?” He was of course reffering to the missions now.

Ming Ming snorted a bit, shaking his head. “No, it wouldn’t be the right reason. A good reason, but not the right one.” Junhui was glad. He didn’t want anyone getting hurt because of him, even if that someone had hurt him before.

“But I am part of why you’re all in this mess, so it’s only fair I help you out.” Ming Ming concluded, and Junhui understood.

He didn’t know if the other was speaking the truth, and maybe his senses were a bit rusty after so many years, but after looking into his eyes and hearing him speak, Junhui believed that he was.

“Don’t get hurt.” Junhui pressed his lips together. “I don’t forgive you, and we can’t, we’re not…” _Friends_. He wished he could complete the sentence, but even thinking about it made his stomach flip. “But I still care.”

Ming Ming smiled small, pulling his hand back and making Junhui miss the heat. “Don’t worry about me.”

And Junhui wanted to say that he tried. He tried not worrying, but it was impossible. Perhaps he was weak.

“Just promise me.”

Ming Ming parted his lips, ready to argue, but gave up when he saw how serious Junhui was being.

“I promise.”

 

 

——

 

 

It felt odd to have the sun shine on him so brightly.

Wonwoo snickered to himself. He could practically hear Mingyu nagging that it wouldn’t be so weird if he actually got out more.

However, it wasn’t the light itself or the warmth it covered him in that made him feel off. He wasn’t even sure if it was the sun at all. He wondered if he just felt like the Sun shouldn’t be shining so bright at all.

It hadn’t even been a week since they had come up with the plan, and tomorrow they would actually be going through with it. Bangtan had already dropped all the stuff they needed and even more, and they had spent the next few days preparing and making sure they had everything ready.

Wonwoo wasn’t scared, not really. More like apprehensive. He always felt it was good to be a little bit worried before a mission. Confident, but aware. And maybe that was why the sun was troubling.

Because in the books he liked to read or in the songs he listened to, they always warned about the quiet before the storm.

Perhaps it was the possibility of a storm that was actually bothering him.

“You like it though, huh buddy?” He mumbled to the little succulent he held in his hands, letting it bask in the sun while he sat in the garden behind the house.

The place was tiny, not nearly as rich and green as the one they used to have in his childhood home, but he liked it just as much.

Wonwoo barely heard the door sliding open while he was admiring the small plant, noticing it had grown quite a bit since he had first gotten it. Perhaps he should move it to a bigger vase…

“Hey,” Wonwoo looked up to see Soonyoung approaching him.

“Hey. The guys need me?” The hacker wondered, because they had been going over the plan quite often in the last couple of days.

“Not really.” Soonyoung quickly sat down beside him, his light jeans probably getting stained by the grass. “Just wanted to see what you were up to.”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Day’s nice, figured I’d get her some sun.” He explained, raising the little potted plant.

“Good, you could use some of it too.” The thief grinned. “Though I don’t think it’ll be enough to replace all the lacking vitamin D.”

“Fuck off.” Wonwoo snickered, shoving the other with his shoulder.

Soonyoung simply laughed though, eyes small and angular like always. “What? It’s true. I think we’ll have to start dragging you and Jihoonie out more often.” Wonwoo rolled his eyes at that, but decided not to argue. He knew Soonyoung could go on and on about their less than healthy habits.

“Wait,” The older suddenly let out, leaning closer to look at the succulent. “Is it just me or is it way bigger? Have you been feeding this thing steroids?”

Wonwoo stifled a laugh, lightly flicking the other’s head. “Of course not, you idiot. You don’t _feed_ plants.”

“I know that!” Soonyoung argued, pouting as he rubbed the spot Wonwoo had flicked. “But you could’ve put something in the dirt or some shit. Or literally shit.”

“I didn’t put anything.” The hacker insisted, controlling himself not to roll his eyes again. “Succulents just adapt well.”

“Whatever. That thing still looks like it’s been adapting way too well.” Soonyoung grumbled. “I didn’t even know you had brought it.”

“Of course I brought it.” Wonwoo frowned, a bit offended.

They hadn’t had a lot of time to pack when they left the apartment, but the first thing he made sure to grab was the succulent. Even before his laptop.

“I couldn’t leave Byeol behind.” The hacker insisted. “It might adapt well, but it still needs to be taken care of.” He didn’t know for how long they’d stay away, he couldn’t have just left her on her own.

Maybe it was a bit embarrassing how much he cared for just a tiny little thing. He expected a laugh, or maybe a chuckle, but instead Soonyoung hummed. The tone made Wonwoo wonder if he was thinking of something else, something that also needed attention once in a while.

“Why did you give it to me?” The hacker wondered out, looking back at the little thing and gently poking the leaves.

“Uh?” When Wonwoo looked back at Soonyoung, he was blinking. “Wait, you know it was—“

The younger shrugged. “Not at first, but I figured it out.” Couldn’t have been anyone else, either.

Soonyoung frowned at that, but he looked more cute than angry. “Sometimes I hate that you’re a genius.”

“Sometimes?” Wonwoo smirked.

“Fine, always.” The older huffed, making Wonwoo chuckle, nose scrunching up.

“You didn’t answer me, though.” He reminded the other, and the ‘anger’ had already disappeared from his features.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, looking at the succulent again. “You talked about how much you missed your garden, and since we couldn’t really get a garden in the apartment, a plant was the next best thing.”

The hacker hummed, nodding a bit. He’d figured that was probably the reason. “Why a succulent, though?”

“Honestly, I don’t know the first thing about plants.” The thief admitted with a light chuckle, staring at the little thing. “So there was a nice girl there who like, gave me a tour of the store and started showing me all these flowers and herbs and everything, and I got a little overwhelmed, I guess.” Wonwoo glanced at the older, watching him smile kindly at the plant.

“And then I saw that little thing, and I don’t know, I just liked it better. It wasn’t trying too hard and it was so small and cute. Then the lady explained to me that they don’t need much, just some water and sun. That they could basically grow in any kind of environment.” The older still wasn’t really looking at him, but Wonwoo felt as if he wasn’t just talking about the plant. “I guess it just reminded me of you. It was my favorite there.”

And with that, silence took over for the first time. It was a rare thing between the two of them, given the were often nagging at each other. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was intense, almost slowing down time while Wonwoo stared at the other.

Soonyoung cleared his throat then, poking at the succulent once more before pulling his hand back. “Plus, it had cute lil’ chubby leaves.” He grinned again, not as brightly as before.

Wonwoo snickered however, raising a brow. “You say all that just to conclude with cute lil’ chubby leaves?”

“What? You can’t tell me you never just felt like squishing them.” He accused, grinning still.

Fine, maybe he had, but Soonyoung would _not_ find out about it.

“It’s kinda weird though.”

“What, the chubby leaves?” The thief blinked. “I liked them.“

“No.” This time Wonwoo couldn’t contain the eye roll. “I mean, that it reminded you of me.” He explained, pursing his lips a bit as he stared back at Byeol. “Because I thought it reminded me of you.” He confessed in a smaller voice.

It really did. The way it didn’t need much to grow, how it would adapt and shine in any environment. Maybe he was just biased by the fact that Soonyoung had gifted him the plant, but Wonwoo still thought his logic made sense.

“Wonwoo…” He blinked, looking back at his friend who seemed a bit more serious now. “I kinda wanted to talk you about something.”

“About _that_?” Wonwoo wondered, because whenever they talked about that the atmosphere seemed to change.

Soonyoung nodded, biting at his bottom lip like he sometimes did when he was nervous. “I know we already talked about it, but I think… I think maybe things have changed.”

“I agree.” The younger admitted, putting the plant down between them before brushing his hair back.

If Soonyoung was surprised, he didn’t show much. He only paused for a moment before continuing. “I know it’s not really fair, because we kinda already agreed we would just pretend nothing was going on. I mean, we agreed it was nothing, so it’s not really pretending, but you know—“

“ _Soonie_.” Wonwoo called, knowing the boy had a tendency to ramble when he got a bit anxious.

“I’m not sure if I want it to be nothing anymore.” The older blurted out, and he almost looked sorry to do so. “I know I said I did, and I did want to, at the beginning, but now I’m not sure anymore.”

“Soonie, it’s fine.” Wonwoo assured him, reaching out to take a hold of his shoulder. “You don’t need to feel guilty about how you feel. And I… I kinda get it. I mean, I do get it. The circumstances changed. We can’t expect our feelings to stay the same.”

The other blinked again, looking up at him. “You mean…?”

“I mean, I understand how you feel.” Wonwoo confessed, mouth becoming a bit dry.

Soonyoung sighed in relief, even though his expression didn’t change much. He was still worried, Wonwoo could tell, and he hated seeing him like that.

“I just, I wanted it not to change. I want it to be like it was before, but I don’t think… I don’t think it’s enough anymore.” The thief explained, and Wonwoo could hear his heart beating a bit faster.

“Me neither.” His voice seemed to become even smaller, or maybe it was just harder to get the words out. He hadn’t even realized he had lowered his gaze until he saw Soonyoung take one of his hands.

He let him, too. It felt nice. Warm and soft and maybe raising too many possibilities, but nice.

“I know we agreed not to try, but maybe…” Soonyoung sounded like he was practically whispering, and Wonwoo glanced at him again, both hope and fear in his eyes. “Maybe we should. Even if it’s just trying.”

“And what would we be trying?” Wonwoo wondered, looking back down at their hands, letting the other play with his fingers.

“I don’t know.” He admitted with a small chuckle. “I just… I can’t let us not try anymore. I can’t lose that chance, even if it’s just a chance.” There was more determination in his tone now. More of the Soonyoung Wonwoo was used to.

And he liked that Soonyoung. He liked all the versions of Soonyoung he knew, if he was being honest. But he thought he liked them with him as a friend. A best friend at most. He thought that was enough, but he had to agree with Soonyoung on that.

It wasn’t enough anymore.

“I think we could, try.” Wonwoo spoke slowly, carefully. “I want that, even if I’m not sure what it is.” He continued, squeezing around the other’s fingers a bit. “But I think… I think we should wait.”

Soonyoung didn’t let go. And when Wonwoo looked up, he didn’t seem disappointed.

“Just, just until this mission is over. Just until after tomorrow.” Wonwoo explained, hoping the other wouldn’t be hurt by his words. “I know it might sound stupid, but I just, I don’t wanna think about anything else before we get that done. And I don’t want you going in there with more on your mind.”

“It’s not stupid.” Soonyoung tugged on his hand a bit to get his attention, smiling softly at the younger.

“I just don’t wanna jinx it.” Because it was always like this. The calm before the storm, the awaited confessions, only for it all to go to waist when the storm finally hit. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” Soonyoung shook his head, eyes softening but grin still warm and kind. “We can wait.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KUDOS/COMMENTS/HITS/BOOKMARKS/ETC!!  
> This fic has like over 700 kudos rn and I still can't believe that-- 
> 
> Also thank you for the ones that followed me on twitter (@fastpacingg)! It's really great to see your support and to get feedback on what you want to see from me.
> 
> This chapter wasn't supposed to come out so huge but as usual I have no control over how much I write and this thing is like a 10k beast so I apologize for that.  
> Plus it's like mostly talking about feelings which I'm sure it gets boring at some point BUT the mission is coming soon so w00t
> 
> Also please don't be afraid to let me know if you found any typos!!!! I always reread before posting but something always escapes me OTL (also I kinda edited this a bit fast to get it posted today so yeah-)
> 
> And feel free to let me know how you feel about this fic!! I love reading all your comments, I truly do! Sometimes I like reading them all over again just to feel extra motivated!


	34. Why am I losing strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “All set, then?” The host smiled once again, with a bit of eagerness to it now that he stood by the doorway, waiting for Seungcheol.
> 
> The younger nodded firmly then, eyes narrow and determined.
> 
> “Let’s get this started.” He spoke loud and clear, aiming his words not only at the man across from him, but at anyone who was listening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it's still the 4th here I was gonna say this could be like a little update for Jeonghan's bday but given how I treated him in this chapter I don't think that would be fair-
> 
> On a side note, if you wanna follow me on twitter it's @fastpacingg

 

_\--/05/2017_

 

The sun was starting to set at a later hour, Seungcheol noticed. Probably because they had already entered spring. There was still some chill in the air, some memory of the cold winter hanging on for a bit longer. Or perhaps it was just Seungcheol’s nerves betraying him.

He could still feel them buzzing at the surface of his skin. Could feel the coldness traveling up his back underneath that sleek grey suit. The more he stared at the large red door — which wasn’t exactly the color he expected for the entryway of a secret hideout, the more aware he was of his own body. The more aware he was of what he was doing.

“That’s it Coups, it’s 6pm sharp.” Seuncheol nodded after Jihoon spoke, even though he knew the others couldn’t see him yet.

Taking a deep breath and straightening his posture, the leader pressed the small white button by the side of the door. Nothing happened right away, but within less than a minute the large doors were opening, revealing a spacious and well lit hallway, with three men standing in front of him.

The two on the sides wore unnecessary dark shades that matched their black suits. Seungcheol didn’t pay them much attention, already labeling them as bodyguards. They didn’t look like the ones in control.

The man in the middle, however, he took his attention right away. He was dressed in a white social shirt, no tie, the two top buttons undone. His slacks were as dark as the night, and his shoes were so well polished that they reflected the artificial light in the building. His dark brown hair was combed back, keeping the focus on his face and on the most intimidating thing he wore.

His smile.

His smile was thin and wide, curled at the corners in an almost unnatural way. It was the extreme opposite of Joshua’s warm grin or Jihoon’s mischievous one. That smile made Seungcheol’s throat dry and his stomach uneasy, but he didn’t let it show.

“Ah, Seungcheol, glad you could make it.” The man’s fake familiarity made the spite grow in his lungs.

“I keep my word.” Seungcheol responded, trying not to show his distaste for the man while also keeping him from looking intimidated. It was a careful role he had to play, and he couldn’t mess it up.

“Ah, of course, I never doubted that. But you know how these things are sometimes.” The man continued to grin, which didn’t make him feel any more at ease. Nor did the hand that now slid around his shoulder, the host ushering him further inside. “Ah, where are my manners? You can call me Kang.”

Seungcheol resisted the urge to shrug the man off, giving him a less than amicable grin. “Pleasure.”

“System is rebooting.” Wonwoo informed then, keeping him updated.

“I see you came alone.” He continued, gesturing for the men to close the door behind them as they stepped inside.

Seungcheol couldn’t say the man didn’t give him any other choice, or else he’d seem like the weaker one.

“Like I said, I keep my word.” The leader repeated, raising a brow.

The older male only chuckled, his laugh as obnoxious as his grin. “Good, Let’s get on with it, shall we? We have a lot to discuss.”

“Systems hacked!” Jihoon announced. “We’re getting access to the surveillance cameras now. We have eyes on you, Coups.” Seungcheol felt an odd sense of comfort from that, even though he couldn’t respond. “Team B and C, get ready to move.” The hacker continued, referring to the pairs of Jeonghan and Ming Ming, and Soonyoung and Minghao.

“I thought we wouldn’t take that long.” Seungcheol reasoned, keeping his shoulders straight while he slid his hands into his pockets. “I don’t have that much time to spare.”

“I’m sure you don’t. However, I feel like there’s a lot of details we need to go over.” The man began guiding him further into the building now, and Seungcheol made a note of every corner they turned. He had studied the map well, and from his calculations, he’d be able to tell where the man was taking him, even if he didn’t know yet what it was.

“Details?” The leader frowned slightly, eyes aimed at the man.

“Well, I have a few propositions to discuss with you. Something that will benefit the both of us.” Seungcheol could feel his jaw clenching, the words not sounding so good to him. He knew how his kind of people talked, the pretty little terms for things that weren’t so pretty.

“We’ll see.” The leader hummed, not wanting to give much yet.

“Team A and B, you can move in.” Jihoon ordered, proving his leadership abilities. “Seungcheol, he’s moving you to the center ro—… Can’t acc—“

The leader paused at that, suddenly halting their movements. Like Jihoon had said, they were approaching the center room. The one in the map that stood right in the middle of the square shaped facility.

“Is there an issue?” The host raised a brow, looking convincingly concerned. Seungcheol wouldn’t fall for that though. He needed an excuse, fast.

“I wouldn’t call it an issue, but my instincts in this field tell me it is not wise to enter a room full of men that have shot one of my own in a not so distant past.”

Kang hummed in thought, though he soon chuckled. “I shouldn’t have expected anything less from a leader such as yourself.”

“Coups—… Trans—ssion is faul— th- room. Can’t—“ Jihoon’s voice kept cutting off, and despite the less than whole sentence, Seungcheol understood what he was trying to say. He wouldn’t have reception in the room.

“All of you, move out.” The man ordered, and though his henchmen were visibly questioning his decision, they all began to leave the central room. There weren’t many, around five, but it was still a large enough number to knock Seungcheol out if they wished to. “And if it’s any comfort, the man who shot one of yours is no longer with us.”

The leader raised a brow once again, acting as if it was news to him. “Where is he now?”

“He’s taken care of.” The man lied, and the younger could almost see a hint of bitterness in his eyes. He didn’t know if Kang was lying about having taken care of Ming Ming because he didn’t want to seem weak, or because he knew he was with them now.

“You two,” He then called for the two man that had followed them along the hallways, the bitterness easily making way for that fake sweetness he showcased before. “Pat him down. You wouldn’t mind that, would you? I’m sure you understand it goes against my instincts to let you in with a weapon.”

“Shouldn’t expect anything else.” Seungcheol repeated the other’s words with a smirk, raising his arms so one of the bulky man could pat him down.

“He’s clear.” The thug nodded once to his boss before moving away, his colleague walking with him and leaving the two alone.

“C— What do- do…?” The leader wet his lips, anxious about the fact that he’d be on radio silence. Even more anxious when he could sense the hesitation in the bits and pieces of words that Jihoon spoke. However, they couldn’t stop now.

“All set, then?” The host smiled once again, with a bit of eagerness to it now that he stood by the doorway, waiting for Seungcheol.

The younger nodded firmly then, eyes narrow and determined.

“Let’s get this started.” He spoke loud and clear, aiming his words not only at the man across from him, but at anyone who was listening.

 

 

——

 

 

“What the hell just happened?”Jeonghan hissed out, the four of them now within the building, inside a small broom closet. Ming Ming had guided them in through the blind spots of the perimeter, helping them in through a small broken window. Soonyoung was relieved that they had managed to actually get into the headquarters, but that relief soon disappeared when Seungcheol’s transmission started failing.

“We lost contact. I can’t reach him, I believe the room he’s in might be blocked or something.” Jihoon explained. “They probably figured he’d have some radio on him.” Which wasn’t that much of a surprise, but they were still counting on having their leader listening in.

Swiftly, Jeonghan’s eyes were aimed sharply at Ming Ming. He didn’t move a muscle, nor made any advance towards the other. However, his voice dripped so thickly with threat that even Soonyoung got a little scared. “Did you know about this?”

Despire the hint of fear in his eyes, Ming Ming shook his head firmly. “I had no idea. I would’ve told you if I knew.” He insisted. “I was rarely allowed into the central office, and even then I didn’t have a comm with me.”

Jeonghan’s eyes seemed to linger on his figure, as if to measure his words, spot out the lies. In a moment though, his expression softened, only so he could focus again on the mission. “Fine. Jihoon, Wonwoo, do they seem to suspect anything else?”

“Nothing on the cameras.” Wonwoo replied quickly. “They seem to be moving around like Ming Ming had said. Three patrolling the corridors, clockwise and counter-clockwise.”

“What about hyung? You got eyes on him?” Soonyoung asked out.

“Yeah, he’s in the office. They just seem to be talking, so far. Guy cleared out the office for him, so we got nothing to worry about just yet.” The younger hacker informed.

“Alright, if he’s moving according to plan then so should we.” Jeonghan decided, directing his attention now at Minghao and him. “You find the garage and the surveillance room, set up the explosives, slow them down. Meanwhile we’ll find the main computer. Remember, we can’t install the virus until you get the explosives in place.”

“On it.” Soonyoung replied dutifully, exchanging a nod with Minghao. “Woozi, can you see anyone coming?”

“No, you’re free to go.” Jihoon instructed, and the two quietly escaped the broom closet.

Both dressed in a similar suit as their enemies would be, they made their way to the surveillance room first. Ming Ming had given them a brief explanation of the guard’s patrol. He didn’t know that much, given it wasn’t really his business, but he did have to memorize some of it when he escaped.

With that in their minds and Jihoon guiding them, it didn’t take long before the pair found the door to the room. They had to wait, however, because according to the hacker, someone was in there.

“We’re here, but the guy hasn’t left the damn room yet.” Minghao described, keeping the others up to date.

“What’s your status?” Soonyoung was the one to ask, curious as how the rest of the mission was going. He had somewhat muted them out in order to focus on their own job.

“We’re getting there. These fucking goons are everywhere.” Jeonghan grunted. Soonyoung knew they’d have a harder time.

They had only found out which room they would be getting into once they all got access to the cameras, so they couldn’t plan a route beforehand. So far, the two were only managing to get through the hallways with Wonwoo’s guidance and Ming Ming’s memory.

“You’re close now. The room to your right is empty, hide in there until they pass by and then you’re free to go.” The older hacker continued. “Since we’re already in the system, it shouldn’t be too hard to open the door.”

“Hyung.” Minghao called his attention to the man finally walking out the door, leaving the room unattended.

Soonyoung nodded, and the two waited for him to be completely out of sight before making a move. As quietly as possible, the thieves rushed to the room, swiping a stollen card on the reader so they could open the door.

“He’s going to the bathroom, you probably don’t have much time. Act fast.” Jihoon notified them, probably keeping an eye on the man.

“Come on.” the older whispered, getting into the room with the numerous computer screens. They had almost every inch of the building covered, which was a bit of a surprise the man hadn’t spotted them beforehand. Probably dozing off on the job.

Moving as quickly as they could, the two grabbed the small packers from their backpacks and began placing them in the room. Always hidden spots, under desks or behind furniture.

“We can see Coups on the screen. Is that the guy?” Soonyoung noticed as he installed the last explosive.

“Yeah, that’s Kang.” Jihoon reminded from what they had heard from Seungcheol’s intercomm. “They’ve been talking like that for a while now.”

He couldn’t see the man’s face, but his entire demeanor seemed to wicked for his taste. Like he was too familiar and too careful at the same time, like a lion stalking its prey.

“Surveillance guy is out of the bathroom, get a move on.” The hacker still tried to keep the same tone as he had every mission, but Soonyoung could easily sense the lack of playfulness. They were all too serious for this one. Or maybe not serious enough.

“Explosives are set, moving onto the garage.” Soonyoung notified them after exchanging yet another nod with Minghao.

“Han, you guys need to be at the mainframe when they get to the garage. We ain’t got that long before the system reboots again.” Jihoon reminded them.

“We’ll be there.” The older had no doubt in his voice, and that did bring some sort of comfort to Soonyoung. Only comfort wasn’t what they should be worried about at the moment. “Just help the guys and keep an eye on Seungcheol. Wonwoo, keep talking us through.”

“It’ll be the third door to your left, after the turn. If you move fast, you can avoid the two incoming from the north.”

“Fast it is.” Jeonghan agreed, and Soonyoung took that as a queue for them to start moving as well, not wanting to stall the mission even by a second.

“We’re half-way through this shit, you guys.” The elder reminded them. “Just stick to the plan, we can do this.”

 

 

——

 

 

“How’s it going?” Jihoon barely spared a glance at Jisoo, who had approached him from behind. The doctor had one hand on the back of Jihoon’s chair, the other on the dinner table he was currently using as a desk, looking over his shoulders at the set of screens.

It’s not that the hacker was trying to be dismissive, he simply didn’t want to take his eyes off the screen for a second. He knew, however, that the older was just as stressed as he was, if not even more.

This time, they all had been listening in. No one wanted to be left out, after all. Not a lot of them had stayed behind, either. Jisoo, despite his protests, had been convinced to stay in the house along with Jihoon, Hansol, Chan, Jun and Seungkwan. Doyoon and Samuel had stayed as well, of course, however they didn’t have intercoms. Not that that had stopped them from blatantly eavesdropping in their conversation.

Wonwoo, Mingyu and Seokmin weren’t too far from the scene, parked in a larger rental car where Wonwoo worked in the trunk. As Seungcheol had said, he had insisted on staying close by, and Jihoon had to admit he felt a bit relieved by that. Plus, it was a good idea to keep at least one of the medics close to them, just in case.

Jihoon didn’t want to think about what case.

“Some setbacks, but they’re moving according to plan.” The hacker answered, watching as Soonyoung and Minghao moved to the garage.

“Still nothing from Cheol?” Jihoon could practically hear Jisoo’s anxiety, and he was glad the taller had his mic off.

“He’s still in the room, but no, no audio.” Jihoon pointed at the window at the upper right corner of the second monitor, covering the mic on his desk while talking to the other.

“Left or right?” The younger could hear Soonyoung in his ear now, and he quickly directed his attention back at the two thieves.

“Left. Then two rights, and you’ll be on your way to the garage.” Jihoon instructed, checking everything on the map he also had open. “There’s a blind spot 30 degrees to your left. I’ll give you the queue when the surveillance guy isn’t looking.”

“Copied.” Jihoon hummed at the other’s reply, now watching the man sitting in the surveillance room. It wasn’t easy, figuring out where he was looking by the tilt of his head. It did help though that he didn’t seem that invested in his job, at least.

“Just a second… Now.” The hacker ordered. “Go, go.”

“Going.” Soonyoung announced, and he could see the two thieves disappearing from the camera’s range.

Thankfully, no one was going their way. They had successfully avoided the patrol, so all they needed to do was get to the garage and set the rest of the—

“ _Shit!_ ” Soonyoung exclaimed, and the two were soon reappearing from where they had vanished. Jihoon could hear something else as well, some shouting, and a noise that seemed somewhat distant yet much too familiar. “Shit, fuck!”

“What’s going on?!” Jihoon asked as the rest of the group joined them, grouping behind him to watch the screens.

“Someone was there! We’ve been spotted!” Minghao whisper shouted, probably still trying not to call attention to himself. “They were hiding in the fucking blindspot.”

“Fuck.” Jihoon cursed, mostly at himself for being so fucking stupid. “Can you take him out?”

“Maybe when he stops fucking shooting at us.” Soonyoung gritted out, and it shouldn’t be a surprise that the man had a gun, but it still sent a chill down his spine.

The hacker could feel his fingers twitching, the situation bringing up something he didn’t wish to remember. “There’s a storage room to your left, hide in there if you need it.”

His eyes didn’t leave the two figures on the monitor, the sound of gunshots muffled in the background of their panting. The moment they got to the room, Minghao nearly slid while making the turn, keeping the door open while Soonyoung hid behind it.

Jihoon could see the older thief quickly grab something from the holster under his jacket, now aiming at the guy that had finally showed up on camera. With a single shot the man went down, twitching and shaking.

The taser.

“ _Got him_.” Soonyoung panted, pulling the door close as they both now hid inside the room.

Jihoon sighed in relief, wondering if he had been holding his breath the hold time. He knew it wasn’t possible, but it felt like it. The moment of calm was short lived though, as he could already see

“You probably been spotted, you guys have to hurry if—“

“Fuck. _Fuck_.” The hacker frowned at the thieve’s lower tone. He had no cameras in the room they were hidden in, which already made him anxious enough, however the older’s curse and the grunting in the background did not make him feel any better.

“Fuck, guys, Hao’s hit.”

The before incessant clicking of Vernon’s stress cube had suddenly stopped, followed by a soft gasp by who Jihoon could only assume was Seungkwan. His first instinct was to look behind him. The same expression was stamped on all of his friends. The wide eyes, parted lips, the paleness that had suddenly taken over their skin. For a fraction of a second longer, his eyes lingered on Junhui, who looked like he had been hit himself.

“What the _fuck_ do you mean?!” Mingyu’s voice snapped him back to the scene.

“I’m fine.” Minghao voiced out, though his voice didn’t sound as steady as he probably wished.

“The fuck you’re fine, you’re bleeding.” Soonyoung grunted.

“I think it’s just— ugh… It’s a graze, it’s fine, it’s…” Jihoon could see more men approaching their corridor. “It’s my fucking leg, I can’t lean on it.”

“Soonyoung, get him out of there, _now_.” Jeonghan’s voice pierced through their panic like a knife. “Jihoon, find them a way out.”

“I can’t see into their room. Soonyoung, is there a window in there?”

“A window- Yeah, yeah I see one.” Jihoon could hear some grunting again, along with loud protests from Minghao.

“The fuck— Put me down!” The thief complained, and suddenly the hacker feared someone had gotten into the storage room.

From one look at the camera though, he couldn’t see anyone in the corridor yet.

“I need to get you out!” Soonyoung defended.

“Kwon Soonyoung I swear to god, if you don’t put me down—“

“Minghao let him fucking carry you or I swear to God I’ll go in there and carry you myself!” Mingyu’s voice surprisingly did a good job at shutting the other up, which Jihoon was thankful for.

“By my calculations, you’ll get out on the south side.” The hacker continued. “I don’t see anyone out there, but there are no blindspots for you.”

“They’re already spotted, won’t make a difference.” Ming Ming was the one suddenly giving his input then. And despite Jihoon’s eternal distain for the other, he wouldn’t be the one to ignore help at this moment. “They’ll come after you.”

“Shit,” Jihoon grit his teeth when the camera access started failing, typing out commands to try and work his way around it. “Wonwoo, you see this?”

“Yeah, they’re rebooting the system.” The older hacker sounded as frustrated as him.

They could barely keep up, with everything happening at the same time. Jihoon tried looking at everything at once, looking at everywhere at the same time, but it seemed impossible.

“We could blow up the surveillance room.” Wonwoo suggested.

“What?” Jihoon frowned. “What about the virus?” 

“They can’t install the virus now, it’s too much of a risk. They already have their eyes on us.” Wonwoo voiced out the same concerns as the younger. “We’re losing visual soon. If we blow up the room it’ll call their attention to the place and Han and Ming Ming can escape as well. We’ll be on more even grounds too.”

“Seungcheol’s still in there.” Jeonghan reminded them. “You can’t blow it up.”

“The room is not that close to him, and the explosives aren’t big.” Wonwoo reasoned.

“He still won’t know what’s coming. If we lose the cameras we’ll have no contact whatsoever.” Jeonghan argued instead. “You need to take Hao home. Get them on the nearest exit, don’t get followed, and I’ll go get Coups.”

Jihoon couldn’t even stop Jisoo when he leaned over, grabbing the mic from the table. “What about you?” He sounded a bit angry, or maybe that was just the frustration showing on him as well.

“I got Ming Ming, he knows the way out.” Jeonghan insisted. “I can’t leave here without getting Cheol.”

“Cheol will be fine, Jeonghan. They won’t do anything to him.” Jihoon spoke a bit louder so he could be heard. “If they wanted to hurt him they would’ve done it already. This isn’t smart.”

“If we lose visual we won’t have anyway to check on him.” The older continued, the stubbornness coming out. “I’ll get him and we can get out.”

“Losing visual.” Wonwoo notified them.

“Jeonghan, just get the fuck out of there.” Jisoo both ordered and pleaded, his brows twisting in concern. “Those were Cheol’s orders, to leave if anything went wrong.”

“You know I’m not one for orders.” Jihoon wasn’t sure if he was trying to joke as an attempt to calm the doctor, but it clearly didn’t work.

“Han, we lost visual on you two, they’re rebooting the system.”

“Han, get out of there, _please_.” Jisoo was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tight. “We’ll get Cheol, if it’s the case, I promise, but we can’t have the two of you in there—“

“I’ll just be a second, Shua. I promise.” His voice was kind, but it somehow seemed to annoy Jisoo even more.

“Jeonghan, for fuck’s sake, get out of there now or I swear to God—“

“Just get Hao and soon home, I’m going off comm.” The eldest interrupted. “I’ll meet you guys back at the house.”

“Don’t you fucking dare—!“

With two short beeps they knew Jeonghan had indeed turned off his intercom, leaving a heartbroken Jisoo standing in the living room.

The older gripped the mic tightly, and for a moment Jihoon worried he’d break the thing, but instead he simply set it back on the table, before quietly making his way out into one of the rooms and slamming the door behind him.

The hacker sighed, rubbing between his eyes.

“Soon, Hao, status?”

“Out of the building, on our way to the car.” The older of the two panted.

“Mingyu, you heard Han, get them home.”

“Copy.”

Jihoon exhaled slowly, leaning back against his chair and pressing his palms against his eyes.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. This wasn’t anywhere near how it was supposed to go.

“Let’s hope you know what you’re doing, Yoon Jeonghan.”

 

 

——

 

 

Fifteen minutes had passed, and Seungcheol only had fifteen more before they rebooted the system once again. The others should be almost done by now, and Seungcheol needed to get out of there fast if they wanted to blow up the place. Thankfully, the man didn’t take too long to state what he wanted out of their encounter.

Well, perhaps thankfully wasn’t the right term for it.

“You want us to join you?” Seungcheol held back the urge to scoff at his words, sitting on the beige leather arm chair simply to appease the other’s wishes. He had refused the drink offered to him though. Even if he had kept his eyes on the man at all times, he knew better than to take anything offered to him.

“I know it sounds a bit crazy, but I believe it would be beneficial for the both of us.” Kang continued, nursing the whiskey in his glass.

“Have you forgotten that we work in different ends of the spectrum?” Seungcheol raised a brow.

“Perhaps, but it is still the same spectrum.” The older reasoned, though the leader still did not agree to his logic. “You see, if you think about it, we provide the same type of service. We’re only looking after the safety of our clients.”

“Except your clients are the bad guys.”

The man tutted, looking slightly disappointed, though Seungcheol was sure it was all part of his act. “Seungcheol-ssi, we work for the highest bidder. We’re not to judge what their activities are. Good or bad, that sort of mentality is for children.” He smiled small then, jokingly adding, “Though I suppose you are still children, in a matter of speaking.”

“Children who managed to stop you once before.”

Seungcheol smirked as the other’s smug grin momentarily faltered, showing just a hint of annoyance.

“If you had stopped me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” The bitterness was poorly hidden, but the smile was back in an instant. “But I am glad we are.” The man sat his drink down on the coffee table between them. “I think this could be a great opportunity for us.”

“I still fail to see how that will be in any way beneficial to my group.” Not that Seungcheol would ever consider joining them, but if the man wanted to talk business, then so be it. He’d play his game for now.

“Well, you’re all still quite young, fresh even. And I admit, you do have a lot of potential. However, you’re just a group of children, like I mentioned, and you need a little guidance.” Kang mused out. “And of course, we could certainly benefit for having more manpower on our team. It is silly to fight when we could be joining forces for something even better. Bigger.”

Seungcheol couldn’t contain his snicker now, tilting his head and fighting the urge to roll his eyes at the man. He never thought someone could be the embodiment of disgust.

“And if we refuse?” Seungcheol’s brows jumped up a bit, daring.

As if on queue, the landline between them began ringing. The phone was made of black sleek plastic, shining in a way that almost reflected the room around it. Seungcheol assumed it was there due to the same reason his signal was cut when they entered the room. The only contact with the outside world.

“Just a moment.” Kang asked, before answering the phone. There was no ‘hello’, no ‘who is this’, no words from him, just a simple ‘yes’ at the end of the call. The lack of syllables only adding to the mystery.

“I apologize for that, but it was a necessary interruption.” The man grinned again, this time almost too confidently. “If you refuse? Well…” He leaned back against his chair, fixing the cuffs of his shirt. “I can’t go against that. After all, it is your choice.” He shrugged gently, as if afraid to break his aura of calculated perfection. “However, I will need some… Guarantees.”

Seungcheol scoffed lightly. “Of course.”

“Now now, you can’t expect me to simply ask for nothing, Seungcheol. I need to protect my business, too. I have men to look after as well.” Seungcheol didn’t bother pointing out that the men that worked for him weren’t his men, but simply his goons. They weren’t what Seungcheol’s friends were to him. “All I ask is for information on you. You, your men, their families. Everything that useless Chinese kid couldn’t give us. Just to keep you from… Intervening, too much.”

The man was ridiculous. He wanted him to hand them all over in a silver platter. To give him material to go not only after them, but after their families, their loved ones. That was beyond outrageous.

“So you want to own us.” Seungcheol wished he could be as good as an actor as Jeonghan and pretend the mere thought of it didn’t make him sick.

“Don’t be so crude. Like I said, it’s just a guarantee.” Kang’s gentle tone only made him skin crawl even more. “Just in case you decide to meddle in our business again.”

“Well, your guarantee is something I can’t compromise with.” The younger scoffed, now finally pushing himself up off the chair. He hoped the guys had managed to do their jobs, because he couldn’t stay a second longer in the room with the man.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t expect you to decide on such short notice.” The man granted, standing up as well. “How about you sleep on it? Talk to your little friends, take a week or so and then return to me with your decision.”

“And what makes you so sure I’ll settle for either?”

“I think I have something that might help you choose.” The man’s grin turned wicked yet again as he simply leaned down, picking the phone up to press a red button, only to put it back down.

At the sound of the door opening, Seungchol turned to look at who could be joining them. Two large suited men barely squeezed through the door, before two more walked in carrying two guys by their elbows. Their knees had been dragging on the floor, bodies limp and heads low before they were thrown on the floor with a grunt.

Seungcheol’s eyes widened them, finally spotting the faces on the two.

No.

 _No_.

Suddenly Seungcheol was completely without direction. No north, no south, no left or right. He could barely hear anything other than the thumping of his heart in his ears, the sight of Jeonghan just tossed on the floor with his blond hair stained red and cheeks adorned with purples leaving completely and utterly lost. It was as if the ground had swallowed him whole and he couldn’t breathe.

The boy on the floor was panting softly, though he twisted to look up through his fringe, almond eyes widening a bit. “C-Cheol-!” The younger pushed himself up on his elbows, and his attempt to stand up was quickly cut short as one of the large men stepped on his back, pushing him back against the floor with a pained yelp.

“Don’t touch him! Don’t touch them!” Seungcheol let out, all his previous act of being cool suddenly vanishing. For a second he wondered if this was Ming Ming’s doing, if he had betrayed them, but from the way his knuckles bled and his breath stuttered he knew it hadn’t been the case.

“Lee, take your foot off of him, we are not brutes.” Kang reprimanded, and the breath of relieved from Jeonghan was almost as pained as the previous grunt. “You see, Seungcheol, I am truly disappointed you haven’t kept your end of the deal. After all, you really should’ve come alone.”

Seungcheol grit his teeth, and as much as he wanted to stare the man down in the eyes, he couldn’t tear his own off of Jeonghan.

“But I won’t let it intervene with our business.” The older continued. “Go home, talk to your men. Once you’ve made your decision, bring me the files on all of you. All of it. Names, adresseds, families. Only then you can collect your men.”

“You can’t keep them as hostages.” Seungcheol spat, finally looking back at the older.

“They are not hostages, they are guarantees.” He smirked. “I need to make sure you’ll come back. And what better way than to keep two of yours here with me?” Kang hummed, looking back at the boys. “Though I can’t promise the two will be up for collecting, if you take too long.”

Seungcheol gulped, eyes turning back to the two. He couldn’t leave them here. Even Ming Ming. The man had betrayed them, hurt them, but after everything he’d done, Seungcheol couldn’t leave him behind. Watching him now helping Jeonghan up, while the other could barely stay up. He couldn’t do that to him. He’d be no better than Kang.

And Jeonghan…

Just the thought of leaving Jeonghan in the hands of a man that could do such damage to him made him want to bend over and throw up. He couldn’t, he couldn’t even fathom the idea. Not Jeonghan. Not any of them.

“I have a counter offer.” Seungcheol spoke out, more sure than anything else in his life before.

“…I’m listening.” Kang hummed.

The leader wet his lips, looking into his lover’s eyes and hoping he wouldn’t hate him too much.

“Let them go, keep me.”

“…What?” It was Jeonghan’s voice that spoke first, shocked and almost too low.

Seungcheol turned to face Kang again, confidence oozing out of him once more. “I’m the leader, they’ll come for me regardless. In fact, they have even more reason to come.” Which was an utter lie, they’d come for Jeonghan and even Ming Ming, if they knew what was going on.

“And what’s the difference for me?” Kang raised a brow.

“You’ll have a king instead of two pawns.”

The way the man’s lips curled was almost sickly, his eyes glinting. “Deal.”

“ _No!_ ” Jeonghan let out, mustering some kind of force to pull himself away from Ming Ming and towards Seungcheol.

The older rushed to meet him halfway, heart breaking at the water already gathering in the other’s eyes. He cupped his cheeks, pulled him close, anything to keep any of those men from seeing him like this. His thumbs brushed his cheeks as gently as possible, wiping off the blood that had began to stick to them. The cut was on his forehead, now he realized, and he knew Jisoo could fix it in a second, but it still pained him to look at it.

Not as much as it pained him to look at the younger’s eyes, though.

“ _No_ ,” Jeonghan insisted, fisting the older’s shirt. “No, no, you can’t do this. You don’t get to do this. Seungcheol, please.”

“I can do whatever I want. I’m the leader, remember?” He smiled gently, watching as the tears began to pour. That was so rare of him.

“Stop, this isn’t funny, this isn’t…” Jeonghan’s frown twisted in pain, body trying weakly to hold back the sobs. “Why? Why do you have to do this? Why do you gotta be so fucking selfless?”

“I’m not.” Seungcheol whispered, keeping him as close as possible. “I’m being selfish, Hannie.”

“ _How—_ ”

“Remember what you said to me that night? That you couldn’t choose?” The older hummed, thumbs now wiping the tears that rolled down his cheeks. “I can’t choose either, Han. I can’t. I can’t let you stay here and go back to Jisoo. I _can’t_. It shatters my heart just to think about it.”

A small sob escapes the shorter’s lips, head ducking a bit. “It’s not fair, it’s not fair… You can’t… Cheol, _please_ …”

“It’s really not. I know, baby, I know…” He tilted the other’s face up again, only so he could look at him. “And I need to be unfair to you just a little longer, okay? I need to ask something of you, and it’s gonna be really fucking unfair to you, but I need you to do it, okay? I need it.” Jeonghan sniffled, swallowing thickly as he looked back into his eyes. He hated doing this to him.

“I need you to be strong, alright?” Seungcheol smiled bitterly, feeling the corner of his lips trying to pull down as he fought his own tears away. He couldn’t cry here, not in front of Kang, but seeing Jeonghan like that made the feat almost impossible. “I know it’s not fair, ‘cause you’ve been strong all your life and it’s never been fair to you. But I need you to, okay? Just for a little bit longer. I need you to help the guys out, I need you to be there for them—“

Jeonghan shook his head, panic and fear in his eyes. “I can’t, I’m not—“

“Yes, you can.” Seungcheol insisted. “Jeonghan, I need you to do this. I need you to guide them. If not for me, then do it for them. Please.” The younger gasped softly, trying to get some air in the middle of all his crying. “And then you can come and get me, okay? When you get me, you can break down all you want. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

Jeonghan whined quietly, only so the two could hear, eyes already scarlet red from the strain. Seungcheol hushed him softly then, cupping his face and pressing his lips gently against his forehead. “I love you.”

He could feel the other’s hands tightening in the fabric of his shirt, probably staining it with dirt and blood, but Seungcheol didn’t give one single fuck. “I love you, too.” The younger whispered, and Seungcheol finally felt the strength to pull back.

He wiped at the other’s face once more, and he could see Jeonghan was already dialing down the tears, managing the sobs. He knew he couldn’t be seen at such a vulnerable state, even if by now they had already seen enough.

“If you touch a single hair on his head,” Seungcheol threatened, directing his words at Kang now, even though he was still watching Jeonghan, fixing his hair back and pulling away hesitantly.

“They’ll be escorted out with the utmost care.” The older snapped his fingers, and the men began gathering around them.

Ming Ming approached the two first, placing a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder. The boy was almost startled out of his thoughts before nodding, turning away. Before Ming Ming moved away though, Seungcheol reached out, grabbing his wrist.

“Take care of him.” He mouthed, but if the other’s nod was anything to go by, he understood.

Seungcheol had no idea what to expect, what kind of trick Kang had in his sleeve for him. But as he watched Jeonghan looking back at him as he walked out the door, he knew at least one thing.

He had made the right choice.

 

 

——

 

 

The trip back was all a blur to Jeonghan. Trees merging into roads that merged into houses. He remembered offering to drive, or at least trying to get into the driver’s seat, when Ming Ming told him he’d drive.

 _“You’re hurt.”_ _Jeonghan had pointed out, eyes still stinging but no longer shedding tears._

_“You’re more.”Ming Ming’s tone was almost simpathyzing, yet somehow it still stung a bit. Jeonghan couldn’t find it in himself to argue, settling for the passenger seat as the other took the wheel._

That was the most they talked the entire way back, and now somehow, they had made it to the house. Jeonghan stood by the front gate, fingers picking at the old key in his hand. They tried fixing their clothes up a bit, parking their car near a diner a few blocks away and making use of their bathroom to at least clean the blood off their skin. Afterwards they had half limped their way to the house, ignoring any kind of concerned or even scared looks.

Yet now that they stood where they stood, Jeonghan felt even weaker. He didn’t even know how he had managed to even accomplish the feat of leaving Seungcheol with that man, but now faced with the challenge of telling everybody else what happened, that had seemed like nothing.

“…How did you do it?” He asked softly, eyes looking through the old gate. “How did you come to us after all you’ve done?” He wasn’t attacking the other, God knew he had no strength to attack anyone or anything at the moment. He just needed to know. He needed help.

From the corner of his eyes he could see Ming Ming wet his lips, thinking the question over. “I have no fucking clue. I just did.” He admitted. “I had to.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” Ming Ming corrected himself. “But I wanted it so bad that I had to. In my mind, I had to do it. And the more I thought of it, the more scared I became.” He continued, glancing at the older. “So don’t think about it anymore. Just do it.”

“It’s easier said than done.” Usually he’d scoff or even chuckle, but again, Jeonghan had no strength. It didn’t feel right.

“What are you scared of?” The younger wondered.

What was it? Walking in there without Seungcheol? Realizing that in fact he had left him behind? Or realizing that yet again, he had failed? Yet again, he had broken his promises. Or maybe even worse, realizing that now everyone would see him for the fake he truly is? That no one would count on him no longer, that none of them would want anything to do with him anymore, because while he painted himself as the clever older motherly friend, he was nothing more than what he was seven years ago, when he had first joined their group.

A stupid kid with bruises on his face and no home to return to.

“They’ll hate me.” He whispered weakly.

No, he couldn’t do this. He had to be strong.

“They won’t.” Ming Ming reassured him. “I might not know anything about who you all are now, but if there’s one thing I’m sure of, is that they’re not capable of hating you. Any of you.” He gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. “Come on now, don’t think about it anymore. Let’s just go in.”

Jeonghan nodded robotically, and he wanted to believe the other’s words, but his brain still told him he shouldn’t. He didn’t deserve them.

With a sigh, the other opened the gate, closing it behind the two before he made his way to the house. He wondered how loud they had been, because suddenly there was light pouring out into the front yard, the door opening so quickly Jeonghan could barely catch who was there.

 _Jisoo_.

He looked frightened, terrified even, and it took him merely a split second before he rushed out of the house, meeting Jeonghan halfway in a tight embrace.

“You’re here, you’re here, thank God you’re here.” He gasped, and Jeonghan barely had time to hold him before he was pulling back, cupping his cheeks much like Seungcheol had done.

His expression was entirely different, though. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, nose a bit red as well, like he had been crying. His fingers trembled against the elder’s skin, but they still held on firmly, as if afraid he’d slip through them. His brows twisted in a tight frown, so much pain in his eyes it hurt Jeonghan physically.

“I was so worried, so fucking worried, you can’t do that Han, you _can’t_ —“ He paused then, running his fingers over the cut on his forehead that had just recently stopped bleeding, but was still not fully closed. Over the bruises on his cheeks, the same ones that Seungcheol had wiped so gently.

If Jeonghan wasn’t fully drained he’d be crying at that very moment.

“They hurt you…” Jisoo whispered quietly.

“It’s fine, I’m—“

“Hyung!” Jisoo pulled back to allow him to look behind him. The others were soon joining them, or at least some of them. Chan ran out, with Seungkwan right behind him. Jihoon and Wonwoo were at the door, all with their own expressions of relief. Or at least Jeonghan hoped that was what it was.

Only now noticing who wasn’t there, Jeonghan’s eyes widened, guilt twisting in his gut. “Where’s Hao?” He asked quickly, eyes darting around.

“He’s okay.” Jisoo promptly replied, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. “We finally got him to agree to go to the hospital, so Seokminnie took him. But he’s gonna be okay, it was just a flesh wound.”

“Mingyu and Vernon are with him.” Wonwoo added. “Soon’s resting a bit, Jun’s looking after him.”

“Is he—?“

“He’s fine.” Joshua assured him once again. “They’re both fine, Han. They’re both safe.”

Jeonghan nodded then, inhaling deeply. Okay, okay, they were safe. That was good, that’s what mattered.

“Wait, where’s hyung?” Chan suddenly asked, almost knocking the air out of his lungs.

Hesitantly, his eyes shifted towards the boy. His eyes were round and blinking, head tilted slightly to the side, as if he had been trying to look over their shoulders. It was such an innocent question, just curious and completely ignorant to everything that had happened. And for a second, Jeonghan wanted him to remain ignorant.

As if sensing the glum atmosphere, the boy asked again.

“Hyung, where’s Cheol-hyung?”

Jeonghan should answer. He really should, and he would. But fuck, _fuck_ , he didn’t trust his own voice. He was afraid it’d break the moment he parted his lips. He couldn’t do this, not to Chan. He could break his own heart, he could even break Jisoo’s, though it would tear him apart.

But he could not, for all that he was worth, break Chan’s heart.

“Hyung,” The boy insisted now, brows pulling together. “Where’s my brother?”

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Where’s my brother?” He asked louder now, his voice a bit shakier. Chan had always been a bright kid. He knew something was wrong. He knew Jeonghan had done wrong.

Swallowing thickly, Jeonghan did as he was told. He had to be strong. Even if he wanted to break, he had to be strong. If not for Cheol, then for them. If not for himself, then for Chan.

He did his best to drain his face from any expression. He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t deserve that. He had wronged them and he deserved the consequences.

“Han…?” Jisoo asked softly, concern etching in his voice as well.

“He stayed behind.” The older spoke lowly, though it still manage to bring a silence over them.

“…What?” Chan’s voice was soft once again, quiet, eyes looking so much like his brother’s.

“Seungcheol stayed behind.” Jeonghan repeated, louder so they could all hear it. “When we got to him, they had already taken him. There was nothing we could do, he told us to leave him behind.”

He didn’t know why he was lying, why he didn’t tell them what truly happened. Perhaps he was too big of a liar at this point that he couldn’t stop. Or maybe he just couldn’t deal with the humiliation, with the fact that one of his lovers had to pay for his own mistake.

He could feel Jisoo’s hand suddenly dropping his, out of shock or disappointment, he didn’t know. He didn’t dare to look at him. His eyes were fixed on Chan’s now, who quickly began to tear up.

“That’s not, that’s not true.” The younger insisted, and despite his teary eyes, his voice was quite steady.

“It is, Chan. They have Cheol, and they will keep him until we give them what they want.” Jeonghan was scared by how well he wore his mask, how unaffected he sounded. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” The boy shouted. “You’re wrong, you’re lying. You _promised!_ ” The boy let out then, cheeks red in anger and eyes pained. And fuck, it hurt. It made his heart clench and his lungs shrivel. It took the earth out from under him and brought the sky down onto his weak body. And somehow, in some masochist way, Jeonghan needed this. He felt like he deserved it, after how bad he had hurt them.

“You promised you’d keep him safe, and you left him behind!” The younger continued, not trying to hold back his words. He didn’t even hold back his strength as he pushed the other roughly, the older staggering back and somehow managing not to fall.

“This is all your fault.” He knew, he knew that it was and he sickly wished Chan would push him again.

“Chan…” Someone called, worried, but Jeonghan couldn’t tell who it was. Maybe Seungkwan, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the youngest.

“No,” Chan didn’t bother looking either, eyes sharp and hurt as they looked at Jeonghan. Tears were rolling down freely now, and his voice was more choked up. He was breaking. “You promised you’d keep him safe. You _promised_.” He sniffled, looking five years younger. “You _betrayed_ him.”

The word stuck into his chest like a knife, twisting and turning and ripping all there was to rip.

“He’d never leave you behind, you betrayed him. After all you did for him…” Chan spoke now through big fat tears, wiping his nose roughly with his sleeve. The boy then stepped back weakly, looking utterly unconsolable.

“You’re a liar, Yoon Jeonghan.”

And with that, the knife was pulled and Jeonghan felt himself bleeding out.

He couldn’t even tell what happened afterwards. He only say Chan rushing back into the house, someone following behind, and that was it. He couldn’t look at Jisoo, he couldn’t talk to the others, he couldn’t even move.

When he thought leaving Seungcheol behind was the hardest thing he had had to do, he couldn’t have been more wrong.

And now he could only stand there, words ringing in his head. Doubt, hatred, pity. Some he was even sure he’d never heard before, but the voices in his head made them sound so believable. And then those words. Those simple little words that stood out above all the rest.

_You’re a liar, Yoon Jeonghan._

 

_You’re a liar._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...  
>  So,  
> As always thank you for all the kudos and comments and hits and bookmanrks and everything!! Really, thank you so much!
> 
> If you wanna yell at me after reading this you can do so on the comments or even or twitter (@fastpacing) it's ok I deserve it orz  
> Tho in my defense that was much lighter than what some of you had predicted, srsly, I thought _I_ was bad-
> 
> Also I always reread these before posting but something always slips by so please don't be afraid to tell me if you see a typo!!
> 
> And pls feel free to let me know what you're thinking of this fic!! I love reading your comments, truly, they give me so much motivation you have no idea.


	35. I couldn’t stop thinking about it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He didn’t mean those words, you know that, right?” Jisoo spoke lowly as he carefully cleaned the cut, grabbing a hyaluronic band-aid to place over it. “He was just angry…”
> 
> “I know.” Jeonghan hummed, nails scratching idly at his trousers. “But just because he was angry, that doesn’t mean he was wrong.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna yell at me on twitter it's @fastpacingg

  

The silence was loud during the night. Loud and overwhelming and heavy, weighing down on their shoulders and hindering them immobile. Seungkwan was used to searching his elders for guidance at times like these, but that wasn’t possible at the time.

After what had happened, with Jeonghan’s return and Chan’s outburst, they had all been rendered silent. In all honesty, he wanted to be there for Chan. He wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. However, he also wanted to be there for Jeonghan, who looked absolutely terrible and sounded even worse. Luckily, Doyoon and Samuel didn’t hesitate in following the younger boy into one of the rooms, and Seungkwan couldn’t be more thankful.

As for Jeonghan and Ming Ming, they could only guide them back into the house. Seungkwan knew something had to be done. They had to fix their bruises, they had to find out what happened, they had to warn the rest of the guys. But as he looked at his elders, waiting for some order to be given, they all seemed… Lost. Just like him.

Seungkwan gulped, and he had a feeling the silence would swallow him whole if he didn’t do something. “We need to,” he paused as they all looked at him, the unexpected attention making him a bit self conscious, but he powered through. “I-I know we need to figure something out, to get hyung back, but I think we need to tend to tend to the guys first.” He concluded, referring to Jeonghan and Ming Ming.

They all looked between each other, trying to pull themselves out of whatever mindset they were in and back into the situation.

“He’s right, we can’t-“ Jisoo cleared his throat, his hand wound tightly around Jeonghan’s ever since they’d entered the house. “We can’t do anything tonight. Not like this. We need to rest, all of us.” He didn’t sound very confident, but Seungkwan knew he was trying.

“You can take care of Jeonghan-hyung.” Seungkwan smiled kindly, or tried to. It hurt him to see his hyung like this. Jisoo was the one who had brought them into the group, and even before that he was practically their mentor. “I’ll tend to Ming Ming.”

Yet now he looked like a child, lost and heartbroken and clinging to the one bit of hope he still had left.

The older gave him a small, grateful nod, whisking Jeonghan away into Doyoon’s bedroom. Seungkwan looked at the rest of them then, and figured that perhaps he should keep the momentum and give them some guidance, instead of the other way around.

He cleared his throat, hoping he wasn’t imposing too much. “Someone needs to tell Hansolie and the guys.” The youngest reminded them. He honestly wanted to tell Hansol himself. Perhaps a bit selfishly so, expecting his friend’s words would bring him some sort of comfort. He always did know what to say. “And Jun-hyung and Soonyoung-hyung are still in the office room.” Which meant they hadn’t heard it, either.

Wonwoo nodded then, sighing heavily as he pushed his hair back. “I’ll call Mingyu. Can already check on Hao, too.” He added.

“Yeah, I’ll…” Jihoon pressed his lips together, nodding slightly as well. “I’ll check on… Junnie and Soonie, and I’ll..” He gestured towards the office, his fingertips trembling slightly. “And I’ll tell them. Yeah…”

“Hyung…” Seungkwan called softly, brows pulling together at the sight of his usually so confident hyung scrambling for words.

“It’s okay.” No it wasn’t, but Seungkwan knew better than to point it out. “I’ll just go tell them.” He concluded, following Wonwoo out of the living room and leaving him alone with Ming Ming.

Seungkwan sighed softly, pinching the bridge of his nose to gather his feelings. He wanted to help all of them. He wanted to hold Chan and talk to Jeonghan and listen to Jisoo and even squeeze Jihoon’s trembling hands; but he knew he couldn’t. He was one guy, one guy that was hurting, and they had more friends that could help them.

So Seungkwan would do what the others couldn’t at the moment, and aid to Ming Ming. Because if that was the only way he could help at the moment, than he’d do one hell of a job doing so.

“Come on.” The younger called for the other as he went into the kitchen. Seungkwan then pulled out two chairs from the kitchen table, both facing one another no further than two feet apart.

“Sit down and put your feet up, okay?” He had noticed the boy was putting too much weight on his right leg when he came in, so he figured he’d have a look at his left one.

He let the older take his time while he fetched one of the first aid kits from under the sink, grabbing a chair for himself before settling down next to him.

The first time Seungkwan had properly seen Ming Ming was when he had gotten into their apartment already not in his best condition.

This time, he looked considerably worse.

He had a bruise on his forehead that was already swelling up to a bump. His right eye was also a bit swollen, dark red covering the outer corner and going up to his eyebrow. There was no suit jacket on him any longer, just a light shirt tainted with red. Seungkwan silently asked for permission before opening it, seeing the cause of it were mostly scrapes and thankfully no serious cuts.

“Seems I got my work cut out for me, huh?” He joked lightly as he put on a pair of plastic gloves, pouring a bit of antiseptic onto a cotton ball to start wiping at the scraped on his chest. The other winced at the first touch, but he soon relaxed, trying to keep still as Seungkwan worked on him.

They had spent some time like that, with Seungkwan quietly cleaning up his bruises and bandaging his knuckles. If he were completely honest, he didn’t love the silence, but the work had at least kept his mind busy.

“Aish,” Seungkwan hissed as he pulled up his left pant leg and took ogg his sock, revealing the array of reds and purples that began to swell around his ankle. “That’s a nasty thing you got here.”

“…I’m sorry.” It was barely a mumble, but Seungkwan caught it either way.

“Hm?” The younger blinked up at him, confused. “I doubt it’s your fault it’s like this, unless you busted your ankle on purpose.”

“No, I mean-“ Ming Ming wet his lips, looking away before glancing back at Seungkwan. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

Seungkwan paused then, sitting back. He pressed his lips together, taking in the words.

Sorry…

“You’ll have to be more specific.” The younger reasoned, not trying to sound mean or anything like that. “If you’re sorry for hurting Jun-hyung, I accept your apology, but I do not forgive you. I don’t think I could ever, not for that.”

Ming Ming was the one to blink then, shaking his head lightly. “No, I’m—“

“If you’re sorry for what happened to you and Jeonghan, then I won’t forgive you either, because you had nothing to do with that.” Sure, Seungkwan knew nothing of what had actually happened, but seeing the matching wounds on their skins, one needed only to connect the dots to see they had probably been ambushed together. “Unless you were the one that hurt him?” He raised a brow.

“No, no, not at all.” Ming Ming shook his head quickly now.

“Then it’s not your fault.” Seungkwan concluded, before taking a deep breath. “Look, to be honest with you, I’m not really your biggest fan here, but… It doesn’t take a genius to know you helped out. I’m pretty sure they would’ve gotten to us with or without you, and for some reason you decided to gain a conscience and help out. And honestly, I didn’t really think what was possible at first, but…”

Seungkwan pursed his lips. “What I’m trying to say is, I don’t trust you, but I’m not stupid either. You came to us, you warned us, and now you willingly barged into a place filled with people who would all gladly torture you just to help us. I’m pretty sure you’re on our side now. So there’s no reason to ask for forgiveness just for getting your ass kicked.”

For some reason, that seemed to shut him up once again. It wasn’t Seungkwan’s intention, not at all. But he presumed the reason was that Ming Ming wasn’t expecting such reply. He was expecting to be seen as the bad guy, and for some things, he still was. However Seungkwan couldn’t treat him as a bad guy when he had risked his life for them. And he couldn’t put him at fault for doing such a thing, either.

“Thank you.” Ming Ming spoke softly, and Seungkwan managed to give him a small smile.

“It’s fine. Also, it’s much nicer to hear someone thanking you than apologizing.” Seungkwan added, taking a gentle hold of the other’s foot. “Now I need to check something. Tell me when it hurts, alright? And don’t try to act tough, seriously.”

The older nodded lightly before Seungkwan began carefully pressing on different spots on his ankle. He also gently bent it up and down, side to side, taking note of when the boy winced or complained.

“Alright, seems like nothing’s broken, just a bad sprain. We should check on it later though, maybe get an x-ray just to be safe.” Seungkwan hummed, getting up to fill a glass with water. “For now we’ll just wrap it tightly and you can take some pain killers. I’ll ask Kyeommie for some crutches too, if they didn’t leave already.”

“Thanks.” Ming Ming mumbled when Seungkwan handed him the glass along with two small white pills. The younger simply smiled small before sitting down once again, taking out the bandages.

“Can I just… Ask you something?” Seungkwan wondered out as he carefully began wrapping the other up, trying not to cause him too much discomfort.

Ming Ming put the cup down on the table, humming. “I think you get to ask pretty much anything.”

The younger pursed his lips then, eyes focused on the job. A little voice in him told him that he should just keep his mouth shut, that it wasn’t any of his business. However a louder voice told him that it was important he knew.

That maybe if he hadn’t asked, no one would.

“What really happened back there?”

Ming Ming was already quiet, but he seemed to freeze at that, which only confirmed Seungkwan’s suspicion that Jeonghan hadn’t told them the whole thing.

“What do you mean?” Ming Ming asked instead.

Seungkwan paused his ministrations then, looking up into the other’s eyes. “Look, I don’t know a lot of things, but I know Yoon Jeonghan. And I know he wouldn’t have left anyone behind, not if he had a say in it.” The younger’s eyes softened then as he inhaled slowly. “So something must’ve happened that we don’t know.”

“I don’t know why he lied.” Ming Ming licked his lips once again, looking down at his fingers and trying to keep himself from picking at the wraps on his knuckles. “I don’t know if I’m the person who should tell.”

“Maybe not.” Seungkwan reasoned. “But maybe you’re the only person who _can_ tell.” He knew Jeonghan wouldn’t. Not if he felt he had a good reason not to.

He could see the struggle in the other’s stare. Hesitant to speak the truth. Seungkwan wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t sure if he was covering for someone, or if he simply didn’t want to go against Jeonghan’s wishes.

Seungkwan was about to tell him he didn’t have to, not if he really didn’t wish to, when Ming Ming looked back at him.

“Alright.”

 

 

——

 

 

If any words were shared as Jisoo took Jeonghan to the main bedroom, he couldn’t remember. He could barely remember how he got from the lawn to said room. After Jeonghan broke the news, it was as if he had entered a different dimension. As if his body was in full control of his actions, while his mind was floating in a sea of numbness.

Yet despite all that, he did manage to get Jeonghan to sit on the bed. He managed to grab one of the many spare first aid kits they had around the house, and managed to sit down next him.

He wasn’t even sure where to begin. In the hospital he always knew. Start with the worst injury, the one that held more risk. But now, he felt like he was in his first day of medical school again. His hands hovered awkwardly over the white box, unsure, hesitant.

“Where does it hurt?” He dared to ask, whispered even, though he felt stupid for doing so. Jeonghan was clearly hurting from head to toe, and he had the audacity to ask where.

“Everywhere.” The older replied lowly, the right corner of his lips curling up slightly in dry humor.

Fuck, Jisoo couldn’t look at him like this. Never, in all the years he had known the older, had he seen him so broken.

His mind brought back one memory, of a silence night where the boy sneaked in with an ugly bruise below his ribs and wide shot eyes. He remembered that night, when Jeonghan wouldn’t tell him the reason for it but made him promise not to tell Seungcheol. And he kept his promise, even if he’d only found out what happened much later.

This was different, though.

This Jeonghan wasn’t simply hurt, he was beaten; mentally and physically. And Jisoo could understand, because even if his skin wasn’t bruised, his soul was crushed. He felt defeated, they all did. They knew the risks, knew it wasn’t a perfect plan, but none of that expected such an outcome. And hell, it hurt.

“My… My forehead, I guess.” Jeonghan spoke again, perhaps trying to help him. “And in my chest, a bit. Those are the worst.” The other wet his lips, voice still soft, but not in its usual way. Weaker.

“We’ll start there, then.” Jisoo hummed, pulling the box onto his lap. Quietly, he grabbed a few cotton balls to start working on the ugly gash on the boy’s forehead, cleaning up.

He didn’t want to do that, if he were to be honest. In reality, he just wanted to hold him. To hug him close and cry and comfort him as he too took comfort. But Jisoo knew Jeonghan, and Jeonghan didn’t work that way, not when he was like this.

He wouldn’t even look Jisoo in the eye, and the younger was actually afraid he’d do so, remembering the look he had when they found him. Distant, cold. He had seen glimpses of it before, but never for so long. He’d never seen it stay.

And despite his valiant effort to keep a straight face, Jisoo could see through it. He knew he was hurting. How could he not? They had failed, they had left Seungcheol in the hands of those bastards, and on top of it all, Chan had let out all his anger and sadness on him.

Chan had probably done the most damage out of all the wounds that had been inflicted on his lover that night, with just a few words. And worst of all, Jisoo couldn’t even be mad at him. He couldn’t scold the boy, because that’s what he was; a boy. Chan was just a kid, hurting like all of them, maybe even more, and he couldn’t control himself. It wasn’t his fault.

It was nobody’s fault.

“He didn’t mean those words, you know that, right?” Jisoo spoke lowly as he carefully cleaned the cut, grabbing a hyaluronic band-aid to place over it. “He was just angry…”

“I know.” Jeonghan hummed, nails scratching idly at his trousers. “But just because he was angry, that doesn’t mean he was wrong.”

“Han…” Jisoo called softly, his heart breaking all over again.

“I made him a promise, Jisoo, and I broke it. And now Seungcheol…” His Adam’s apple bobbed in silence.

“You couldn’t have known.” The younger insisted, now gently guiding him to take off his shirt.

Jeonghan’s bruises didn’t come near all the things Jisoo had seen at the hospital, but he still had to keep himself from wincing. He shifted to kneel down on the floor, in front of the other, so he could take a better look at his torso.

It was littered in wounds. Scratches, bruises, and one deep red nebula that spread from under his ribs to the side of his chest.

Jisoo swallowed thickly, fingers gently tracing the crimson color as his eyes stung. “There’s more.” He spoke brokenly. “There’s more you’re not telling me.” Because this wasn’t simply a case of ‘ _they got Seungcheol and now we need to get him back_ ’.

No, there were paragraphs and parenthesis Jeonghan was leaving out. There were whole chapters that he wasn’t telling him. And Jisoo wasn’t angry at him, but he needed to know. He couldn’t look at one of his lovers with his body covered in wounds and accept a half told story. The bruises spoke so much louder than Jeonghan, but Jisoo didn’t want to hear it from them.

He needed to hear it from him.

“Han, please…” He pleaded, looking up at the older. “What happened?”

The other parted his lips a couple of times, his fingers twitching gently, before Jisoo took his hands, squeezing kindly.

“I…” He paused, gathering his words. “It was supposed to be us.”

“…What?” Jisoo asked softly, not understanding what he meant.

“Ming Ming and I… They caught us, we were the ones who were supposed to stay behind, we—“ Jeonghan took a shallow breath, the mask he had worn weakening slightly. “We were the ones up for ransom. We were supposed to stay, but Seungcheol worked out a deal. Seungcheol…”

“He took your place.” The younger’s eyes were wide and watery, his throat dry and hurting.

Of course he did, of course of all people, Seungcheol would do that. And Jisoo couldn’t even blame him. Not only was it in his nature, but if he too saw Jeonghan like that, he’d certainly do the same thing.

Jeonghan smiled bitterly, the mask slipping back on as he looked down at their hands. “He said he couldn’t choose. Couldn’t come back to you and leave me there, couldn’t stay there with me and leave you here.”

Jisoo pressed his eyes closed, trying to fight back the tears, though he knew that wasn’t a smart move. It only made it easier for them to gather, especially when he looked up at Jeonghan as he spoke.

“Don’t tell the others.” The older asked, making his face twist in a frown.

“Why not? Why did you lie?” Why didn’t he tell Chan the truth? The younger would certainly understand. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. “Why do you still want to lie?”

“I told you. Chan was angry, but he wasn’t wrong.” Jeonghan spoke kindly, letting go of one of his hands to brush his fingers through the younger’s brown locks. “I’m a liar.”

Jisoo chocked on a sob, pressing his face against the other’s lap as he felt the tears finally pouring. No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t a liar, and it wasn’t his fault, and Jisoo wanted to tell him all that but he couldn’t. He tried, but he couldn’t.

Because his words would choke on tears, his eyes hurt too much to open and he couldn’t leave the comfort of his lover’s lap. Because he should’ve been there with them. He should’ve been there for the two of them, but he wasn’t. Like always, he wasn’t.

So he just cried. Right there on Jeonghan’s lap, with the older still brushing his hair, he clung to his lover and cried. He cried because he couldn’t stop what had happened. He cried because he couldn’t help them the way he wished. He cried because he couldn’t even be there for them now. For onewas away and the other was there, but not really there.

Jisoo cried because they hurt, and he hurt with them.

 

 

——

 

 

“Can’t we go already?” Minghao complained for what seemed like the hundredth time.

The boy was sat up on the hospital bed, the mattress bent up at about sixty degrees, which allowed him to relax and still keep an eye on everybody in the room. Though if you asked Mingyu, he was doing a poor job at relaxing. Not that anyone could blame him.

They were all on edge. When they left the house, they still had no news on Ming Ming and the two eldest members. In fact, they practically had to drag Minghao to the hospital, the boy only agreeing when Junhui was on the verge of a panic attack. Otherwise, he wanted to stay in the house until they got news from the elders.

“Would you calm down? I just strapped you in.” Seokmin complained through a pout. “At least let the blood get to your veins before you run out.”

“It’s been like ten minutes.” The Chinese groaned, tilting his head back. “And I’m pretty sure the painkillers already kicked in. I feel fine- Ow!” He winced as Hansol poked his wrapped ankle. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Just proving a point.” Hansol shrugged, getting an annoyed glare his way.

“Hao, chill out, okay? We’re all nervous.” Mingyu sighed then, sitting on the chair next to the bed. “We just gotta wait until—“

The taller paused as a phone started ringing, and it took him a couple of seconds to realize that it was actually his phone that was ringing. Mingyu squirmed a bit as he fetched the device from his front pocket looking at the screen.

“It’s Wonwoo-hyung.” He mumbled, glancing up at the others.

They had been waiting for news since they got there. Which sure, wasn’t that long, but still felt like an eternity. And perhaps Wonwoo didn’t even have news, he could just be checking on them, but still—

“Pick it up already!” Minghao ordered, snapping the older out of his thoughts as he quickly answered the call.

“Hello?”

 _“Hey, Gyu. It’s me.”_ The low voice of his older friend carried through the line. “Everything okay over there?”

Well, okay wasn’t exactly the way he’d put it, but they could be worse. “Yeah, Hao’s good. Kyeommie said it’s really just a flesh wound, but he’s lost quite a bit of blood so he’s replacing it. Or something like that. But he said there will probably be a full recovery.”

“Is he in pain?” The older worried.

“He got some painkillers already, so hopefully he’ll be out tonight still.” He stole a glance at his boyfriend, fighting the cold chill that climbed up his own leg as he looked at the other’s injured one. “If you heard how much he’s nagging, you’d think he’s already healed.” He joked, hoping to lighten the mood somehow.

“Really? Sounds like he’s great, then.” Wonwoo’s chuckle was short though, and a bit fake, which immediately sounded the alarm in his head.

“Hyung…” Mingyu wet his lips. Perhaps it was nothing, perhaps he was just hearing things where there was nothing to hear. Yet he had to ask. “Something’s wrong, isn’t it?”

Silence followed, and at the end a sigh. Mingyu closed his eyes, leaning back against the chair. He knew that sigh, he knew Wonwoo. Something was up.

“Yeah. I’ll…” He paused, probably thinking. “I’ll give it to you as it is, Gyu, ‘cause there’s really no other way to put this.”

The younger swallowed quietly, and nodded even though his friend couldn’t see him. “Okay.”

“Jeonghan and Ming Ming came back, but they got Seungcheol.”

It was Mingyu’s turn to pause, opening his eyes to stare blankly in front of him.

“…What?” He wasn’t sure if he had truly asked that, or if he simply imagined it. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he had heard the other, or if it was all in his head.

“SIDEM got Cheol-hyung. They’re keeping him hostage. I don’t… I honestly don’t know much more than that.”

“Fuck…” Mingyu exhaled, dropping his head onto his free palm, fingers digging through his brown hair. “Wait, what about Jeonghan-hyung—“

“He’s back, he’s safe, but…” Wonwoo sighed now as well. “I’m not gonna lie, he looks like shit, Gyu. I don’t know what happened, but something went down and it wasn’t pretty.”

“Do you think it was Min—“

“No.” The older promptly answered. “No, I don’t think so. If anything, he looks worse than Jeonghan.”

Mingyu wasn’t sure if that should bring him some comfort. He wasn’t sure anything could, at this point. The fact that he was still holding up the phone was already impressive.

Jeonghan was hurt, and Seungcheol was with the enemy. As a hostage, even, which meant they could be doing anything to him. The thought made his stomach twist, and Mingyu rubbed his forehead harder against his palm.

“What about Chan…?” Fuck, he couldn’t even imagine how Chan was taking it.

“He’s not… He didn’t take it well.” Of course, Mingyu almost added. “Took it out on Jeonghan-hyung, too. Shit, Gyu, it really wasn’t…” He could practically feel his friend hurting from the other side, and it only intensified his own pain.

“Fuck…” Mingyu pressed his eyes closed tight, hoping, wishing for all that was mighty that it was all a lie, that nothing had actually happened.

“Doyoon and Sammy are looking after him right now. I’ll go check on him later, too.”

“What about hyung?”

“Jisoo’s with him.”

“Good, good…” Mingyu inhaled deeply, sitting back up. “How about you? How are you doing?”

Wonwoo was quite for a moment, before he decided to speak again. “Managing, I guess. But don’t worry, just look after Hao, okay? When you all get back we can discuss a plan to get hyung back.”

“Yeah, okay.” Mingyu agreed, nodding mostly to himself. “Take care, hyung.”

He hung up after a quick “You too”, and diverted his attention back to the rest of the guys in the room. It was obvious they already knew something had happened, the concern written on their faces in bold letters.

“What happened?” Hansol asked, worried.

“They…” Mingyu wet his lips. “Jeonghan-hyung and Ming Ming are back, but SIDEM got Seungcheol-hyung.”

“What?” Minghao immediately asked, though the other two looked equally as desperate.

With a sigh, Mingyu repeated the information he had been given. It wasn’t really much, and he didn’t know what he should do with it, other than share it. It definitely wasn’t the news they were expecting, and Mingyu was aware it could’ve been much worse, but it still wasn’t good.

Once he was done, he could see the pain in each and every one of their eyes. He could see it by the way Hansol’s fingers started to twitch, how he nervously picked on sleeves and his own skin. He could see it in the way Seokmin’s eyes wouldn’t stay at one fixed spot, how they’d move fleetingly as if they had lost their focus.

He could see it in the way Minghao wouldn’t look at anywhere else but the sheets on his lap. How he desperately fought away a frown, how his lips twitched downwards in clear evidence that he was fighting away tears.

Mingyu couldn’t look, but he also couldn’t look away. Minghao needed someone, needed him, and fuck, he needed the other too.

“Guys, could you maybe get Hao some water?” Mingyu broke his stare to look at the oldest in the room, hoping Seokmin would understand.

Thankfully, he did, and he nodded with a gentle smile, something Mingyu would forever admire him for, and called Hansol away to leave the two alone.

The door barely closed when Minghao spoke, low and broken. “It’s my fault.”

Mingyu’s brows pulled into a frown, his attention fully back on the younger. “Hao…”

“It’s my fault.” He repeated. “If I hadn’t gotten hurt, if I hadn’t been _stupid_ , they’d…” Minghao wet his lips, fingers gripping the sheets tightly. “Jeonghan-hyung wouldn’t be hurt, and Cheol-hyung wouldn’t have been caught.”

“Hao, listen to me.” Mingyu grabbed one of the boy’s hand with both of his, tilting his head as he searched for his eyes. “It’s not your fault, okay? None of this. You couldn’t have known.”

“But I ruined the mission!” Minghao insisted, expression angry but eyes red with sadness, filled with tears that he wouldn’t shed. “Everything was going fine until I got hurt. They found out we were there because of me, they got to us because I fucked up. It’s all my fault, everything, hyung—“

“Hao, _Hao_ …” Mingyu insisted, bringing a hand up to cup the other’s cheeks. He looked so furious, and what hurt Mingyu the most was that all that anger wasn’t directed at SIDEM, but at the boy himself. “Don’t do this to yourself, okay? You couldn’t have known. They… They got the best of us. They were better than us, and we… We’re paying the price now. But it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.”

Minghao let out a dry chuckle, rubbing at his eyes to forcibly fight away the tears. “How can I even face them now, Gyu?” He asked weakly, and the pain in his stare caused water to gather in the older’s eyes. “How can I look into their eyes? Jeonghan-hyung and Jisoo-hyung… Fuck, how can I look at Chan?”

Mingyu inhaled unsteadily, and without thinking, he shifted to get on the bed and pull the other against him. He let his fingers run through the other’s hair, pressing his lips firmly against the top of his head.

“They don’t blame you, Hao. No one does.” He insisted, holding the younger against his chest as he began to feel the wetness from his eyes mark his shirt. He didn’t care, he only held on tighter. “No one blames you, baby, no one…”

His heart broke as the other shook in his hold, but still, he didn’t let go. He’d let him cry it out, let him say all the things in his head and argue back at him until he was convinced otherwise. Mingyu wasn’t even sure if that was the right thing to do, but he couldn’t let him do this. He couldn’t let Minghao hate himself.

 

 

——

 

 

It took Junhui and Soonyoung a moment to process what he had told them. Not that Jihoon could’ve expected anything else. He too wasn’t sure he had fully understood what had happened yet. He wondered if he had the same look on his face when Jeonghan had told them what happened.

he wondered if his jaw had dropped slightly like Soonyoung’s, or if his eyes had widened like Jun’s. He knew his first instinct was to curse loudly, much like his best friend, though he had managed to hold himself back whereas the other had just let it out.

In a way, Jihoon was a little bit jealous.

But the jealousy was fleeting in the midst of the weight they felt in their hearts. They asked for an explanation, and Jihoon wanted one too, but he had barely scraps to share. Thankfully, they seemed to understand. Soonyoung caught him off guard with a strong hug before he left the room, insisting he had to see Chan. Jihoon was glad. He himself wanted to provide some help to the younger as well, but he feared he wouldn’t know what to do.

So instead, he chose to stay in the office with Junhui, who still sat on one of the futons. The taller gently patted the spot in front of him, and Jihoon didn’t hesitate to take it.

“How are you doing…?” The younger asked, remembering the night had been quite an emotional rollercoaster for the other. With Minghao getting hurt and them losing contact with the mission, Jun had had a rough time keeping it together.

Not that he hadn’t put all his effort in it. The older was doing a pretty good job at staying calm, or at least pretending to be so, until Soonyoung had helped a limping, bloody Minghao into the house.

Jihoon had genuinely no idea how Seungkwan managed to calm Junhui down from that.

“Not good, but if you’re referring to earlier, I think I got it under control.” He smiled small as Jihoon let him take his hand, playing with the shorter’s fingers. “How are you, though?”

Jihoon blinked slightly, looking up at him. How was he? “I don’t know…” He confessed. They were the first words that came to his mind, but only because the others were changing far too fast.

Hurt, upset, angry, sad, confused… How could he know?

“I’m…” Jihoon paused, pressing his lips together. “I’m angry, and sad, but… But I’ll be fine. It’s okay.” He nodded to himself, looking down at his fingers. “I mean, it’s not okay, but… But it’ll be okay. Cheol- Cheol will be fine.”

“Jihoonie…” Junhui called, perhaps trying to get his attention, but still not looking up.

“No, really, I just…” The younger shook his head lightly, licking his lips. “I just need to come up with a plan, y’know? We agreed to wait on the rest of the guys, though… So… So yeah… But it’s, it’s fine.”

“Jihoon…” The Chinese called again, squeezing his head lightly. “Look at me.”

Jihoon looked, but not really. His eyes were aimed at the other’s, but he tried to look through him, at the wall behind him. For some reason, he couldn’t truly look at him. He felt like something would break if he did so.

“I’m really, I’ll be okay, Junnie.” He insisted, lips quirking up in what he hoped was a smile, but from Junhui’s frown it wasn’t a good one. “It’s you I’m worried about. You, you need to… That was a tough thing back there, and you can-“

“ _Jihoon_.” Junhui’s tone was firm now as he cupped the other’s face, making it impossible for him to focus on anything else right now. “Stop.”

Stop? Jihoon wasn’t even sure what he should stop. He didn’t even know what he was doing, what he was saying anymore. Words just stumbled out, because he had to make sure they knew he was okay. He’d be oka, they didn’t have to worry, because they had bigger things to worry about now. “But it’s—“

“Stop.” Junhui insisted.

Jihoon finally looked him in the eye then, only to find out he couldn’t look away. They were hurt, soft, vulnerable, but most of all, understanding. They were pools dragging him in and he was too weak to fight back.

Junhui smiled weakly then, knowing he finally got his attention. His fingers were gentle as they brushed against his skin, thumbs running circles at the sides of his cheeks.

“Cry.” He whispered.

And as if he had a spell on Jihoon, the younger began to cry.

He didn’t even know he had to. He didn’t want to. Yet there he was, kneeling on a futon with Junhui holding his face and tears running down his cheeks. They began timidly, only one or two at a time. However, in a matter of seconds, they were running down freely.

Jihoon gasped softly, squeezing his eyes shut as they wouldn’t stop. “I’m not, I-I don’t mean…”

“Shh…” Junhui hushed, shifting a bit closer and gently wiping the water that gathered over his eye bags with his thumbs. “It’s okay, let it out.”

Jihoon sobbed at that, but he shook his head lightly. Not too hard, because he truly didn’t want Junhui to let go of him. “I can’t, I shouldn’t…” He sniffled. “Seungcheol is there and I’m—“

“You’re hurting.” Junhui’s words were as gentle as his hold. “You need to let it hurt.”

“But I need to get him back.” The younger insisted, looking up at the other through his tears. “I can’t, I can’t keep wasting time…”

Junhui hushed him again, this time pulling him closer and against his chest, wrapping his long arms around him. It was the first time Jihoon actually felt miniscule in his hold, but he didn’t complain. He selfishly sought for comfort in his arms, resting his head on the taller’s shoulder as he continued to cry.

“It’s not wasted time, Jihoonie. You need this. You need to take care of yourself, to let it out, or else it’ll eat you up.”

Jihoon wanted to point out that he wasn’t taking care of himself. That it was in fact Jun who was taking care of him, but he didn’t find the strength. He didn’t want him to stop.

“You’re hurting…” The older reminded him, his hand running slowly up and down his back.

“Y-You’re hurting too.” Jihoon pointed out stubbornly. “You all are. I’m not… I shouldn’t be like this.“

“He’s like your brother, Jihoonie.” Jun looked down at him then, once again seeing right through him. “How can you expect yourself not to be in pain?” He continued, the position probably awkward, with his head turned downwards and to the side, and Jihoon’s head still resting on his shoulder, though tilted upwards. “If you’re letting Chan and Hannie recover, why won’t you let yourself, too?”

 _Fuck_. Fuck, how did he always know what to say?

Jihoon felt his face twisting in pain and pressed it against the other’s shirt, shaking his head lightly.

“He’s, it’s all his fault…” Of course he didn’t mean his words, but he was angry. “S-Seungcheol, he… He should’ve gotten out! He should’ve, he shouldn’t… He shouldn’t have let them catch him. He never lets them, he…” Jihoon sniffled. “He’s an idiot. Dumbass idiot.”

Jun chuckled softly, brushing the boy’s hair back. “Not everyone can be a genius like you, Jihoonie.”

He was acting like a child and Junhui still played along. He still held him despite the probable snot on his shirt and the fact that he himself probably needed comfort as well.

“I don’t deserve you.” Jihoon mumbled, settling down a bit as he looked up at the other once again.

“Yes you do.” Junhui hummed, as if it wasn’t even a question. “And even if you didn’t, I wouldn’t let you go. I made a promise, remember?” His smile was warm and kind and Jihoon didn’t even know how he managed such a feat after the day they had.

A promise. The day he confessed, Junhui promised him he wouldn’t let go of him. Jihoon remembered, of course. And he never doubted his word, but the fact that he still kept it only made him recall how he felt that day, before and after.

“I love you.” Jihoon spoke softly, but with certainty.

He didn’t know why he said it, he just felt like he needed to. He needed Junhui to know, even if he already did. Because the day had been long and Minghao had gotten hurt and Seungcheol was held hostage and he didn’t know what the hell could happen next.

So he needed Junhui know that he loved him.

The other, however, seemed surprised. Not by the statement, Jihoon hoped, but perhaps by the timing. The surprise was quickly replaced with something else though, something warmer, deeper.

Junhui leaned in, pressing his lips firmly against Jihoon’s, but still ever so gently.

It was quick too, maybe no longer than a couple of seconds, but Jihoon felt like a thousand words had been exchanged in that one moment.

“I love you too.” Junhui cupped his cheek, wiping the remaining tears away with a soft gaze.

And then Jihoon realized that maybe he not only needed to say it, but he needed to hear it too. He needed to hear Junhui loved him as well. And he did.

He was still hurting, and he didn’t know what to do, and he feared the pain in his chest would never go away.

But somewhere inside him, he knew it’d be okay.

Because Junhui loved him.

 

 

——

 

 

The clock marked 3:30AM when Wonwoo walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t one bit hungry, but in the mess that had been that entire day, he had forgotten to water Byeol. So in the quiet of the night, he took his little plant into the sink to hold it under a thin stream of water, making sure it wouldn’t overflow or make a hole in the dirt.

Logically, he should be sleeping, but Wonwoo didn’t think he’d get any shut eye. If anything, he felt like he hadn’t slept in days, but he still couldn’t sleep.

Whenever he tried resting his head on the pillow, his mind would take him somewhere else. It made him think of Minghao’s leg, of Chan’s tears, of Jeonghan’s vague stare, of Jisoo’s broken one. Of Seungcheol.

Even now, he caught himself overthinking, and almost fed his plant a little too much water. Thankfully, he stopped himself in time, and twisted the faucet closed before placing the pot on the counter, under the moonlight.

“Hey.” Wonwoo blinked at that, drying his hands on his shirt as he turned around.

Soonyoung was standing in the doorway. Hair a bit of a mess and eyes slightly red. He looked exhausted, probably felt so, and Wonwoo really couldn’t expect anything else.

“Hey.” He answered, drying his hands on his own shirt. “How’s Chan doing?”

Soonyoung had showed up not too long after Wonwoo himself had gone in to check on the boy. He hadn’t managed to get a word out of the younger, but at least he got to hold him. He knew if anyone would get Chan to talk though, it’d be Soonyoung. So when the older showed up, he convinced Doyoon and Samuel to leave them alone, figuring it’d be easier for Chan.

“Cried himself to sleep.” Soonyoung sighed, pushing his hair back for what was probably the tenth time, which explained the messy hairstyle. “But at least he’s getting some sleep, I guess.”

“He needs some rest.” Wonwoo agreed. “Anyone with him?”

“Seungkwan.” The thief rubbed at his arm, probably a bit cold. “Hansol texted him. He thinks they’re leaving in an hour.”

“Did he say anything about Hao?” Wonwoo had to ask.

“Yeah, apparently the meds kicked in and he finally fell asleep.” Soonyoung snickered slightly. “Should ask Kyeommie to bring me some of those.”

The hacker gave him a half smirk. “Tell him to bring extra.” He joked, though neither really felt in the mood for laughing.

Wonwoo took another look at the older, sighing internally. He should be telling Soonyoung to go to sleep, but that would be far too hypocritical of him. However, he couldn’t simply stand there with his friend feeling like shit and do nothing.

“You should eat something.” Wonwoo couldn’t recall seeing him eat since they left the house.

“It’s fine, I’m not hungry.” Soonyoung shook his head lightly, looking away. His eyes didn’t seem to focus much on anything. He looked nervous, yet at the same time too tired to be nervous. As if he had had one long argument and now he just wanted peace.

“C’mon, you haven’t eaten all day.” Wonwoo insisted, turning around once again to grab a loaf of bread. “Just sit down, I’ll make you something.”

“Wonwoo…”

“I’ll make your favorite.” The younger suggested, grabbing a plate to put the two slices of bread on. “I think I saw some jam—“

“I don’t wanna wait anymore.”

Wonwoo blinked at that, turning around to face his friend. He was gnawing at his bottom lip, fingers tugging on his long sleeves.

“…It won’t take long, Soonie.” The hacker frowned a bit, confused by what the other meant.

“No, not that. I don’t,” The older paused, taking a deep breath as he took a couple of steps closer. “I don’t wanna wait anymore for us, Wonwoo.”

“…Oh.”

Oh, so that’s what he meant.

It was Wonwoo’s turn to blink, confused by the sudden change of subject. He felt frozen, speechless, but Soonyoung looked like he had a lot to say, so he didn’t stop him.

“I’m sorry, okay? I know I said I could wait, and I thought I could, but I can’t. I can’t…” The thief took a short breath, walking even closer, now only half a meter away from him. “I can’t wait anymore. And I know I said I could, and I’m sorry, but everything is going to shit and it’s not supposed to go like this and I keep thinking of what happened to Hao and Cheol and I—”

“Soonie—”

“I can’t let it happen to us.” Soonyoung exhaled, gripping at his hair a bit before releasing. “I can’t… I can’t risk us. I can’t risk _you_.” He sniffled, and only then he noticed his hairs were turning even redder. “I thought just telling you would be enough. I thought us knowing would be enough. But it’s _not_ , it’s…”

“Soon…” Wonwoo called again, gently, as he was the one now taking a step closer. He reached out, trying to wipe the tears off the other’s cheeks. He was never a pretty cryer, to be honest, but Wonwoo didn’t care. His affection only grew at the sight of him so vulnerable, and he didn’t even know that was possible.

“I know you wanted to wait, and I understand that, I really do. You didn’t wanna jinx it or- or whatever, but—“ The older gasped softly, reaching up to take his wrist and squeeze it gently. “I don’t wanna wait anymore. I don’t wanna give the universe more time to fuck this up.”

Wonwoo gulped, chest tightening, because he understood. He got where Soonyoung was coming from. And while he was still scared to make such a move before they were all safe, he also felt like Soonyoung. He didn’t wanna risk losing what they had. Or even what they could have, in this case.

“I get it.” He admitted softly. “Where you’re coming from, I get it.”

“You do?” Soonyoung paused, blinking. “B-But it’s okay if you don’t. I mean, it’s okay if you changed your mind and you don’t wanna get together anymore. It’s okay, really. I just, I just couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t wait anymore. Because I really fucking like you and I can’t- I don’t wanna—”

Soonyoung was babbling then, between shy tears and sniffled and Wonwoo wasn’t even sure he could stop him. So he leaned in, hands now on his nape and pulling the other closer. Closer and closer, until their lips touched and Soonyoung properly shut up, stilling in his hold.

And Wonwoo continued to hold him. He could taste the salt on his lips, and he could swear he felt the hairs on the other’s nape stand up a bit, but he could also feel him relaxing, him giving in. Him kissing back.

After a moment, that felt like an eternity, the younger broke away. He still stayed close, though, with his forehead against the other’s, breath soft against his lips.

“Alright.” He mumbled, and Soonyoung’s eyes growing large as they looked back at him.

“Alright?” The boy asked, perhaps a bit confused.

“Alright.” Wonwoo repeated, now pressing a light kiss to the other’s cheek before wrapping his arms around him.

Soonyoung didn’t hesitate then, easily molding himself into the other’s hold and hiding his face against the curve of his neck. “…Alright.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOR ALL THE COMMENTS KUDOS HITS BOOKMARKS ETC !!!!
> 
> There were so many nice comments last chapter, thank you so so much! It makes me so happy to know that I actually managed to make you feel so strongly about this story ~~tho istg I never meant to make anyone cry ok I am soRRY I do not do this on purpose-~~
> 
> I didn't mean to take so long to post too, but I am quite busy right now (and for the next couple of weeks) so this was the earliest I could manage.  
> Also I know this chapter is too quite a bit angsty but I hope it was a bit softer-
> 
> As always, I always reread these before posting but something always slips by. So please don't be afraid to point out any typos!! You'd actually be helping me out a lot !
> 
> And please feel free to tell me what you think of this fic! I love reading your comments so, so much!
> 
> Also, I started another chaptered fic based on a call call call au I posted ages ago. If you'd like to read that, you can check it out right [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16356500/chapters/38274710)
> 
> If you want to you can follow me on [twitter as well!](https://twitter.com/fastpacingg)
> 
> Again, thank you for reading!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Breakfast Club](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13076805) by [doitsushine92](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doitsushine92/pseuds/doitsushine92)




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